Ray's musings and humor

Archive for February, 2014

What are you waiting for?

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”

W. M. Lewis

dont-wait 2

I had lunch with one of my favorite people yesterday. My friend is a multi-talented, multi-faceted humanitarian adventuress who is always doing amazing things. She had just returned from Costa Rica where she has built a school for some rural kids who will have a much better future because of my friend. I always enjoy my time with her because she is knowledgeable and insightful but unlike many of us she does not think too much about what she might do, she spends her time doing things for others and for herself. She has built the life she wants to live.

When I got home I found an e-mail written by Angel Chernoff that reminded me of the choices my friend has made. Here in part is what Angel wrote:


4 Ways to LIVE Today, and Not Merely Exist

Throughout your life, there will be times when the world gets real quiet and the only thing left is the beat of your own heart.  So you’d better learn the sound of it, otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s telling you.

The wisest and happiest among us are those who are respectful of their time, and who use it productively to grow as they age.  Sadly though, far too many of us age much faster than we grow.  We spend so much of our lives going through the external motions of what society tells us “maturity” that we fail to concentrate on our own inner growth and goals.  We never allocate enough time just for us.

Part of the problem is that we’re always waiting for some condition to resolve itself at some point in the future.  We find ourselves asking, “How did it get so late, and why haven’t I moved?”  In other words, we’ve aged, but we never grew to our true potential.  We never fulfilled ourselves.

Invest the present in what matters most to you.

You are the customer of a bank called Time.  Every morning it credits you with eighty-six thousand, four hundred seconds.  Every night it writes off, as a loss, whatever remainder you have failed to invest to good purpose.  It carries over no balance.  It allows no overdraft. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.  There is no going back.  You must live in the present on today’s deposits only.  Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success.

Focus on writing your own life story, your way.

Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone for them that you forget to write your own.  Unfold your own tale and bring it to life.  You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming.  Incredible change happens when you decide to take control.  This means consuming less and creating more.  It means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you.  It means learning to respect and use your own ideas and instincts to write your passage.

Live what you preach.

Remember that thinking and doing are two very different things.  Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it.  You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.  Knowledge is basically useless without action.  Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer. Identify what’s most important to you.  Prune nonessential commitments.  Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.  And remember, if you wait until you feel 100% ready to begin, you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life.

Step boldly into the unknown.

And don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment either.  Moments aren’t perfect; they’re what you make them.  These states of perfection are myths.  They do not exist. Your ability to grow to your highest potential is directly related to your willingness to act in the face of imperfection.  You will come to succeed not by finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections perfectly.

So ask yourself this: “When it’s all said and done, will I have said more than I’ve done?”  Let your answer be NO!


Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.

Napoleon Hill


A 3rd-grade girl came home from school. She was very happy, and her Mom noticed this.  Mom asked, “What makes you so happy today?”

The girl said, “Mom, we learned how to make babies in school today!”

Thinking that 3rd grade was a bit early for that, she asked her daughter to tell her how. “It’s easy, Mom — you just drop the y, and add ies,” the daughter said.


I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We’re OK Now



Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “up over”?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it that night falls and day breaks?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Do pilots take crash courses?

How can there be self-help “groups”?


“Filthy Stinking Rich… Well, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.  After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”


“Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?”

George Carlin


The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about?  I don’t owe you anything for this.”

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, he’s got you there.  In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.”

The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for a drink.  But don’t ever let me catch you in here again.”

The next day, same guy walks into the bar.  Bartender says, “What the heck are you doing in here?  I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity to come back!”

The guy says, “What are you talking about?  I’ve never been in this place in my life!” The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this is uncanny.  You must have a double.”

To which the guy replies, “Thank you.  Make it a scotch.”


“Maybe you think you’ll be entitled to more happiness later by forgoing all of it now, but it doesn’t work that way. Happiness takes as much practice as unhappiness does. It’s by living that you live more. By waiting you wait more. Every waiting day makes your life a little less. Every lonely day makes you a little smaller. Every day you put off your life makes you less capable of living it.”

Ann Brashares


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


Try it, you’ll like it

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.

Maya Angelou

 don't complain

Yesterday I had breakfast with a friend who reported she was having a great week following advice she had read in a magazine. The advice was “Don’t complain about anything for a week,” and she was in her third day and it was great. By NOT complaining she found that she could see that things really were going OK even when marred by what are usually minor flaws. Our conversation reminded me that Marc Chernoff had written a piece on what NOT to do. Here are some of his thoughts from the article:

Things You Need to Stop Doing Every Day

If you get decent value from making TO-DO lists, you’ll also get significant returns – in productivity, in improved relationships, in financial stability, and in heightened levels of happiness – from adding certain things to a TO-DON’T list. As you may have guessed, a TO-DON’T list’ is a list of things not to do.  It might seem a bit amusing, but it’s an incredibly useful tool for keeping track of unproductive habits like these:

Worrying about the wrong people.

As you meet new individuals, be polite, but don’t try to be best friends with everyone.  Take things slow and remain focused on your core people – the individuals whose absence would immediately make your life less fulfilling.

Focusing all your attention on future events instead of present moments.

This moment will never happen again.  Look around.  Cherish your time as you’re living it.  Work towards something, but enjoy the journey of getting from here to there.  Experience each step.  Don’t succumb to a vicious cycle of overbearing productivity that forces you to constantly think about every imaginable time and place except right here, right now.

Delaying decisions.

Sometimes it doesn’t take as much strength to do things as it does to decide what to do. Life is filled with difficult decisions

Deciding sometimes hurts.  Not knowing which path to take can be painful.  But nothing is more disheartening than never making a decision.  If you never choose a road, you will never know where it leads.  So when you’re faced with two equally good options, don’t be one of the people who choose the third option: to not choose.

Saying “yes” when you really mean “no.”

Stop over-committing.  While saying “yes” can take you down some wonderful roads, there’s also a ton of value in saying “no.”  Your time in life is extremely limited; do you really want to give it away so easily?

If you don’t have time to commit to a new project, fulfill a favor, etc., it’s a good idea to just say “no.”  Refusing a new request from friends, family, customers, etc. can be difficult, but rarely is it as stressful as over-committing and leaving no time for yourself.

Buying stuff you don’t need.

Proper money management is one of the most beneficial skills we can master to create a comfortable, happy future for ourselves, and yet it’s a skill that we are often culturally cut off from understanding.  The consumerist society we live in tries to make us feel that happiness lies in owning things and continuously buying new things, and fails to teach us about the happiness not found in things.

When external influences suddenly motivate you to consider a new purchase, ask yourself this:  “Is this thing I’m thinking of purchasing really better than the things I already have?  Do I really need it?  Or am I just being persuaded to be displeased with what I have now?”

Filling every waking moment with activity.

Make time every day to not be busy.  Have dedicated downtime moments – clear points in the day to reflect, rest and recharge.  Don’t fool yourself; you’re not so busy that you can’t afford a few minutes of sanity.


“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” William Arthur Ward


My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Matthew playing calmly in the woods. “Listen to me!” his mother said sharply.  “From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?”

Matthew thought about that for a moment and said, “Okay, Disney World.”


“Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”

H. L. Mencken


She said:

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?

A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?

A. If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q. Since I became pregnant, My breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?

A. Yes, your bladder.

Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.  Why?

A. Cause you’re fatter then they are.


“Success is just a matter of luck. Ask any failure.”


A priest at a parochial school, wanting to point out the proper behavior for church, was trying to elicit from the youngsters rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant.

“Don’t play with your food,” one second-grader cited.

“Don’t be loud,” said another, and so on.

“And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?” the priest inquired of one little boy.

Without batting an eye, the child replied, “Order something cheap.”


[On the death of a promiscuous actress]: She sleeps alone at last.

Robert Benchley



On a ski lift in Taos, NM: “No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.”

Official sign near door:  Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby:  Window frightened.

Seen in a health food store: “Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot”

“Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense.”


Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.

Og Mandino


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Keep Going!!

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

T.S. Eliot


Yesterday I suggested that perseverance was often the key to overcoming obstacles and solving problems. From the problem solving standpoint I am still persevering in search of an answer for my computer problems.

At a meeting this morning with a friend and organizational leader we discussed what folks can do after they retire. Many find they are not ready to drop out and they stay active in numerous ways. In fact for more than twenty years I have spent time with people who used the retirement opportunity for dream fulfillment, frequently including a second career. They did not let rejection or naysayers stand in their way they were tenacious in pursuit of their dreams.

Thinking about it later it reminded me of Colonel Sanders and what it took for him to make his dream come true. Here is his story.

Keep on knocking

When Colonel Harland Sanders retired at the age of 65, he had little to show for himself, except an old Caddie roadster, a $105 monthly pension check, and a recipe for chicken.  

Knowing he couldn’t live on his pension, he took his chicken recipe in hand, got behind the wheel of his van, and set out to make his fortune. His first plan was to sell his chicken recipe to restaurant owners, who would in turn give him a residual for every piece of chicken they sold–5 cents per chicken. The first restaurateur he called on turned him down.   So did the second.   So did the third.  In fact, the first 1008 sales calls Colonel Sanders made ended in rejection. Still, he continued to call on owners as he traveled across the USA, sleeping in his car to save money. Prospect number 1009 gave him his first “yes.”  

After two years of making daily sales he had signed up a total of five restaurants. Still the Colonel pressed on, knowing that he had a great chicken recipe and that someday the idea would catch on.  

Of course, you know how the story ends. The idea DID catch on. By 1963 the Colonel had 600 restaurants across the country selling his secret recipe of Kentucky Fried Chicken (with 11 herbs and spices).   In 1964 he was bought out by future Kentucky governor John Brown. Even though the sale made him a multi-millionaire, he continued to represent and promote KFC until his death in 1990.  

Colonel Sanders’ story teaches an important lesson: its never too late to decide to never give up.  

Earlier in his life the Colonel was involved in other business ventures–but they weren’t successful. He had a gas station in the 30’s, a restaurant in the 40’s, and he gave up on both of them. At the age of 65, however, Harland Sanders decided his chicken idea was the right idea, and he refused to give up, even in spite of repeated rejection.  


Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

Carl Bard


Letters to the Pastor:

Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don’t think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina

Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers?  Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston


If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth?


A man walked in to Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As Joe snips away, Joe asks, “what’s up?”

The man explains he’s taking a vacation to Rome.

“ROME?!” Joe says, “Why would you want to go there?  It’s a crowded dirty city! You’d be crazy to go to Rome. So how ya getting there?”

“We’re taking Delta,” the man replies.  “Delta?!” yells Joe.  “They’re a terrible airline.  Their planes are old, the food is terrible and they’re always late!  So where you staying in Rome?”

The man says, “We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott.””That dump?” says Joe.  “That’s the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and slow and they’re overpriced! So whatcha doing when you get there?”

The man says “We’re going to go see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope.” “Ha! That’s rich!” laughs Joe.  “You and a million other people trying to see him.  He’ll look the size of an ant.  Boy, good luck on THIS trip. You’re going to need it!”

A month later, the man comes in for his regular haircut.  Joe says, “Well, how did that trip to Rome turn out?  Betcha Delta gave you the worst flight of your life!” “No, quite the opposite” explained the man.  “Not only were we on time in one of their brand-new planes, but it was full and they bumped us up to first class.”

“Hmmm,” Joe says, “Well, I bet the hotel was just like I described.” “No, quite the opposite!  They’d just finished a $25 million remodeling. It’s the finest hotel in Rome, now.  They were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the Presidential suite for no extra charge!”

“Well,” Joe mumbles, “I KNOW you didn’t get to see the Pope!” “Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into this private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.  Sure enough, after 5 minutes the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand.  I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.”

Impressed, Joe asks, “Tell me, please! What’d he say?”

“Oh, not much really. Just ‘Where’d you get that awful haircut?'”


Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.


A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.”

“Me neither doc.” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.”


” She is intolerable, but that is her only fault.



A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After being sworn in, the lawyer asked him to explain what happened. After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident, he finally got around to the meat of the case.  “and then she hit me with a maple leaf.”

“Surely that couldn’t have caused you any serious injury?” said the lawyer.

“Are you kidding?” exclaimed the old man. “It was the leaf from the center of our dining room table.”


It is never too late to be who you might have been.

George Eliot


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

It will be OK

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass…  It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.

Vivian Greene

dancing in the rain

I find myself again struggling with a computer problem that is going to take someone smarter than me to fix. While I can publish the Daily, handle my hundreds of emails and manage my schedule I cannot download software upgrades or download my audio books which are an important part of my daily life. Even worse I cannot make the links to the support organizations for online help.

The thing I find interesting is that problem has lingered for more than a week and I have not slipped in to panic mode which is a new experience for something that has so much effect on my daily activities. I don’t know if it lethargy driven by old age or that I have finally reached a more mature level in my life. I do know that panic is never a good answer and that my problems will not create an international world ending event. In fact I have learned over the years that tenacity and perseverance coupled with patience is the best formula for problem solving. So now I need to get the energy to bite the bullet call the experts and pay a hundred or so dollars so I can return to my regularly scheduled maps.

Here is a poem that does a better job of offering a solution than I can.


Don’t Quit

by: Unknown Author

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

 When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

 When funds are low and the debts are high,

 And you want to smile, but you have to sigh.

 When care is pressing you down a bit.

 Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

 Life is queer with its twists and turns

 As every one of us sometimes learns.

 And many a failure turns about

 When he might have won had he stuck it out:

 Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –

 You may succeed with another blow.

 Success is failure turned inside out –

 The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

 And you never can tell how close you are.

 It may be near when it seems so far:

 So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit

 It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.


You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.

Rabindranath Tagore


Dear GOD, Is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? -Anita

Dear GOD, Did you really mean “do unto others as they do unto you”? Because if you did, then I’m going to fix my brother. -Darla

Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (But I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. -Tom L.

Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. -Nan


“It’s okay. I didn’t believe in reincarnation last time either.”


This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s wrong with me, Doctor?”

The doctor looks her over for a couple of moments, then calmly says, “Well, I can tell you one thing…there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight.”


Definition of a teenager? God’s punishment for enjoying sex.


The neighbor dropped in on Judi and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room. “What’s wrong Judi?” she asked.

Judi told her that she had “morning sickness.”

Surprised, the neighbor said, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant!”

“I’m not.” the harried young woman replied. “I’m just sick of mornings.”


“Foolproof systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools.”

Gene Brown


Frieda had just finished her fish dinner. She was, however, not at all happy with it, so she called over the waiter.

“I’ve tasted fresher fish,” said Frieda.

“Not in here,” replied the waiter.


The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.

George Roberts


Jim needs a job, and has no qualms about inventing the necessary qualifications. He reasons that once he finds work, he will impress the boss so much that everything will be forgiven. After a successful initial interview at the Encyclopedia of American History, he is called back to meet the sales manager.

“You say you have experience selling books?”

“Lots of it,” replies Jim.

“And you have a Master’s in American history from the University of Michigan?”

“Correct,” replies Jim. “History is my field of study.”

“Well then,” says the sales manager, “As soon as I can complete this form, we can get you started in the firm.” While the sales manager is making a few notations, Jim, obviously pleased with himself, begins to whistle. Looking around the room, he notices pictures of Washington and Lincoln on the walls.

Pointing to the portraits, he turns to the sales manager and says, “Fine looking men. Your partners?”


Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

Marilyn vos Savant


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Thanks everyone

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”

Melody Beattie


I hope your weekend was as good as mine. My granddaughter did well with her fellow Brown University Gymnastic team members in the Ivy League championship tournament and they are now the Ivy League champions. I also enjoyed attending my Kiwanis Club’s wine tasting dinner and auction where the great items donated by so many of my friends and family raised a large amount of money that will be used to make life better for kids. My oldest daughter and her husband Bob joined my wife and I at the dinner. Bobb won one of the door prizes and also bought a sightseeing trip in a biplane which is something has always wanted to experience.

I am grateful to all who helped make our effort a success. It was the hard work of my fellow Kiwanians coupled with the high quality of the event that allowed us to continue and increase our service to others. It also allows me to express my gratitude to people who make a difference in my life and the lives of others.Having the opportunity to let people know they are appreciated is one of life’s blessings.

Here is a piece on how gratitude can bring happiness that tells what I mean.


The Power Of Gratitude – Why Gratitude Brings Happiness

 “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” Melody Beattie

Often times we get so busy with chasing after the things we want, after the things that are somewhere out there, that we forget to enjoy the present moment, we forget to be happy. You hear people all the time saying: Oh, I will be happy when I will get this and that, when I will get there, when I will do this and that… and when those things do happen, they go on to planning the next thing and the next thing and forget to enjoy the things they achieved so far, the things they longed for. By doing so people also forget to enjoy what they already have, they forget to be happy. Don’t let that be you.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” Oprah Winfrey

Realize that now, in this moment you have more than enough. It’s okay to have dreams, it’s okay to aspire to grow, to learn, to evolve and to achieve big things but it’s also important to celebrate yourself, to celebrate your accomplishments, to celebrate the present moment and to celebrate your life. With gratitude comes happiness and with happiness comes gratitude…

Luminita D. Saviuc


“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

Marcel Proust


Boy is this right on!

You Live in California when…

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.

2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.

3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

4. You know how to eat an artichoke.

5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You Live in New York City when…

1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.

4. You think Central Park is “nature,”

5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

6. You’ve worn out your car horn.

7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in the Deep South when…

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2.”Ya’ll” is singular and “all ya’ll” is plural.

3. After 5 years you still hear, “You ain’t from ’round here, are Ya?”

4. “He needed killin’” is a valid defense.

5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

You live in the Midwest when…

1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: “Where’s my coat at?”

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, “It was different!”

You live in Florida when…

1.  You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2.  All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.

3.  Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4.  Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5.  Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.


“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”

Alfred Hitchcock


A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around. During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work, saying, “May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”

A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it’s like a completely different place–the farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. “Amazing!” the preacher says. “Look what God and you have accomplished together!”

“Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, “but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!”


I saw a movie with a happy ending.  Everyone was glad it was over.


A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.”

“And why not, darling?”

“You know that it always gives you a headache next morning.”


Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?


“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

Thornton Wilder


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

They don’t have answers for you

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.

Michael Jordan


Yippee, I am awake and ready to have a great day as well as a super weekend; I hope you are ready too. Unfortunately some folks are so busy conforming that they won’t have any time for performing or creative enjoying. I have often wondered why so many have elected to live in a straightjacket made by others rather than have the freedom for life’s adventures.

You know what I find interesting is how so many unhappy and unsuccessful folks are quick to offer advice to the rest of us on how we should behave. What always goes through my mind is why in the world would I ever want to be like them. In a way Utopia exists, but only in the world you build for yourself and you will never find if you stay in a cage built by someone else. I asked a nurse the other day what was good in her life and after some thought she replied “nothing really.” I then asked her what was bad in her life and again she replied “nothing really.” I then said how great it was that that there was nothing bad in her. I loved the fact that she realized that she was pleased with her life and is living it the way she wanted to.

If you want to break away from a drab existence you will do well to heed this advice from Marc Chernoff.


Questions You Need To Stop Asking Yourself

If you keep asking yourself the wrong questions, you will never get an answer you like. So take a deep breath and stop asking…

“Why don’t they like me?” – The worst misery and loneliness is to feel unsure of yourself – like everyone else is ahead of you somehow.  When you’re feeling insecure like this, you don’t notice the hundreds of people around you who accept you just the way you are.  All you notice are the few who don’t.

Don’t let your insecurities bully you into a corner.  Don’t be your own victim.  Forget whether or not everyone else likes you, and focus on loving yourself more.  Accept, define and believe in the person you are.  For once you sincerely do, so will the rest of the people in your life who truly matter to you.

“What will they think?” – Here’s a wake-up call for you:  When you’re worried about what others think of you, you’re really just worried about what you think of yourself. At times you may flatter yourself indirectly by thinking that every little fault you see in yourself is also present in the minds of everyone around you, as if these people are constantly contemplating your personal strengths and weaknesses.  But the truth is, 99.9% of the time, they aren’t.

And regardless of whether others are judging you or not, you can’t control what they think.  The only thing you can control is yourself.

“What’s missing?” – Sometimes your biggest source of unhappiness comes from the fact that you keep thinking about where else you could be or who else you would like to become, rather than appreciating where you are and who you are now, and how far you’ve come to make this moment true.

“What if I’m not good enough?” – A fear of being defeated is what warrants your defeat.  A fear of not being good enough is what guarantees that you never will be. If you never pick up that keyboard, or pencil, or paintbrush, or whatever instrument you use to craft your work, because you’re afraid that someone else might do it better than you, your prediction will automatically come true.  Remember, defeat is not the worst of failures.  Not having tried at all is as bad as it gets.

“Why me?” – If you think that only a privileged few have the ability to live a great life, you are sabotaging yourself.  You are privileged – to be alive – to have this opportunity.

If every morning you wake up and say, “Yes, today is going to be a great day.”  And every afternoon you find a reason to say, “Yes, today is a great day.”  And every night you find a reason to say, “Yes, today was a great day.”  Then one day, many moons from now, you’ll look back, smile at the memories and say, “Yes, I lived a great life!”

Be the one of the valiant few who looks at their dreams and says, “WHY NOT ME?” and then goes for it!


Why don’t you start believing that no matter what you have or haven’t done, that your best days are still out in front of you.

Joel Osteen


The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.

Look Miss,” said the foreman, “have you any actual experience in picking lemons?”

“Well, as a matter if fact, yes!” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times…


Gravity…It’s Not Just a Good Idea. It’s the Law.


A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.”

The son replied, “When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States.”


When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.


While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign…

“Energy efficient vehicle.  Runs on oats and grass.  Caution: Do not step on exhaust.”


Sign in a Hospital ward: Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.


It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline in the Northwest. “Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.

“What are my choices?” he asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.


Bald Guys never have a bad hair day.


More signs that life goes on:

Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

Dinner and a movie – The whole date instead of the beginning of one.


Heaven never helps the man who will not act.



A Mothers fantasy:

10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone).

9.  To have my 14 year-old daughter answer a question without rolling her eyes in that “Why is this person my mother?” way.

8.  Five pounds of chocolate that won’t add twenty

7.  A shower without a child peeking through the curtain with a  “Hi Ya Mom!” just as I put a razor to my ankle.

6.  A full time cleaning person who looks like Brad Pitt

5.  For my teenager to announce “Hey, Mom! I got a full scholarship and a job all in the same day!”

4. A grocery store that doesn’t have candy/gum/cheap toys displayed at the checkout line.

3. To have a family meal without a discussion about bodily secretions.

2. To be able to step on a plane with my toddlers and NOT have someone moan, “Oh no!  Why me…!”

And the #1 thing that I REALLY want for Mother’s Day is…..     Four words: Fisher Price Play Prison


At first, I asked, why me? Then I thought, Why not me?  

Nick Jonas


Stay well, do good work, and have fun

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I am tired

I believe there should be a better way to start each day…instead of waking up every morning…

Melchor Lim


I am pooped this morning but skipping my exercises is not an option as they are required for me to return to moderately good health. Yesterday wore me out, my early morning exercise was followed by a breakfast meeting, doctor’s appointment and a lecture. In the early evening I attended the funeral of my son’s father-in-law who was also my friend. And now I am suffering from the dreaded tired mind, so once again we will venture in to the days of old and reprint a Daily from the past.


Ray’s Daily first published on February 20, 2003

Did you know that this is Visiting Nurse Week? I keep waiting and they are not visiting me. In fact on Tuesday I had to go see them at the hospital for my weekly IV and next week I will be the visitor, meeting my favorite Pacemaker nurse. So they really should call it Visit a Nurse Week.


Speaking of nurses, did you know that hugging is healthy? It helps the body’s immune system; it keeps you healthier; it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it’s invigorating, it’s rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects, and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug.

Hugging is all-natural. It is organic, naturally sweet, no pesticides, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients and 100% wholesome.

Hugging is practically perfect. There are no movable parts, no batteries to wear out, no periodic checkups, low energy consumption, high energy yield, inflation proof, non-fattening, no monthly payments, no insurance requirements, theft proof, non-taxable, non-polluting, and, of course, fully returnable.


It takes more than just a good looking body. You’ve got to have the heart and soul to go with it.

Lee Haney



She said that:

When I was in my younger days,

I weighed a few pounds less,

I needn’t hold my tummy in

to wear a belted dress.


But now that I am older,

I’ve set my body free;

There’s comfort of elastic

where once my waist would be.


Inventor of those high-heeled shoes

my feet have not forgiven;

I have to wear a nine now;

But used to wear a seven.


And how about those pantyhose-

They’re sized by weight, you see,

So how come when I put them on,

the crotch is at my knees?


I need to wear these glasses

as the prints were getting smaller;

And it wasn’t very long ago

I know that I was taller.


Though my hair has turned to silver

and my skin no longer fits;

On the inside, I’m the same old me,

Just the outside’s changed a bit.


I will never put off until tomorrow what I can forget about forever.


“I’m so upset,” said Hershberg to his Rabbi. “I took my son-in-law into my clothing business and yesterday I caught him kissing one of the models!”

“Have a little patience!” advised the Rabbi. “After all, guys will be guys. So he kissed one of the models, it’s not so terrible.”

“But you don’t understand,” said Hershberg. “I make men’s clothes!”


“The worst thing about him is that, when he is not drunk, he’s sober.”

W. B. Yeats


The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when Little Johnny interrupted.

“My Mummy looked back once while she was DRIVING,” he announced triumphantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”


Little Johnny and his classmates had just finished a tour of the local fire station. Before each student could leave, the fire chief quizzed him.

The fire chief asked little Little Johnny, “What do you do if your clothes catch on fire?”

Little Johnny replied promptly, “I don’t put them on.”


Psychiatrist to male patient: “Did this feeling of being an insignificant pipsqueak come on suddenly, or did it develop normally with marriage and parenthood?”


I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day. It said, “You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial.”


“Never judge a book by its movie”

J.W. Eagan


Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack’s Last Will and Testament.

“To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.

To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the Jaguar.

To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000.

And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp.”


Good character…is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece–by thought, choice, courage, and determination.

John Luther


If College Students Wrote the Bible

The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning — cold.

The Ten Commandments would actually be only five — double-spaced and written in a large font.

A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.

Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria food.

Paul’s letter to the Romans would become Paul’s email to abuse@romans.gov.

Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.

Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: they didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.


“Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.”

Steven Wright


A fellow got up one Saturday morning with the odd feeling that something about this day was to be different. Something unusual was about to happen.  He glanced out the window at the thermometer: 33 degrees.  He went downstairs – the clock had stopped at 3 o’clock.  He picked up the newspaper and read the date: the 3rd of the month.

Threes – that was it!  He grabbed the paper and flipped it open to the racing section.  Sure enough in the 3rd race, there was a horse named Trio!  The fellow hurried to the bank, drew out his life savings and bet it all on the horse to win.

The horse ran third.


I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.

John Stuart Mill


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

It is up to you

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.

William James


I hope you are doing well and are happy these days. I know it’s not often easy to see the bright side especially in the blustery frigid weather so many of us have experienced lately. Yesterday I caught myself succumbing to the blues due to some lung problems and fatigue; fortunately I caught myself slipping into a place I did not want to be. I, like so many of us sometimes let negative events influence how we feel. The operative word is “let” for the external world does not force me into the doldrums and when I do feel that way it is because I have chosen to let it happen.

I think knowing that we have a choice to be either happy or unhappy really helps, for that knowledge reminds me that I am in control of how I feel. When you combine perspective with a positive outlook it does not take long to realize that in the scheme of things almost nothing is as bad as we sometimes think they are. Just stopping long enough to realize that there is no reason to let setbacks blind us to all that is still OK can make a real difference.

It is up to us how we face adversity. Here is a story that I may have shared with you before, if I did it is worth a reread. I have taken the liberty of editing out part of the story; you can read the full version at http://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/choices.htm


Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!” He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”

Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, ‘Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”

“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.

“Yes, it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”

 I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.


We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.

Kahlil Gibran


Bob Hope said:

ON TURNING 70  “You still chase women, but only downhill.”

ON TURNING 80  “That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.”

ON TURNING 90  “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

ON TURNING 100  “I don’t feel old.  In fact I don’t feel anything until noon.  Then it’s time for my nap.”

ON SAILORS  “They spend the first six days of each week sowing their wild oats, then they go to church on Sunday and pray for crop failure.”

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR  “Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it’s called at my home, ‘Passover.'”

ON GOLF  “Golf is my profession.  Show business is just to pay the green fees.”

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER  “When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, ‘Congratulations.  You have an eight-pound ham.'”

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL  “I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.”

ON HIS FAMILY’S EARLY POVERTY “Four of us slept in the one bed.  When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.”

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS  “That’s how I learned to dance.  Waiting for the bathroom.”

ON GOING TO HEAVEN  “I’ve done benefits for ALL religions.  I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.”


Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of someone else.

Judy Garland


A Catholic, a Jew, and an Episcopalian are lined up at the pearly gates. The Catholic asks to get in and St. Peter says, “No, sorry.” “Why not?” says the Catholic, “I’ve been good.” “Well, you ate meat on a Friday in Lent, so I can’t let you in.”

The Jew walks up and again St. Peter says no. The Jew wants an explanation so St. Peter replies, “There was that time you ate pork…sorry, you have to go to the other place.”

Then the Episcopalian goes up and asks to be let in and St. Peter again says no. “Why not?” asks the Episcopalian, “What did I do wrong?” “Well,” says St. Peter, “you once ate your entree with the salad fork.”


We got rid of the kids. The Cat was allergic…


The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, “Do you know what I use this for?”

The navigator replied timidly, “No, what’s it for?” The pilot responded, “I use this on navigators who get me lost!”

The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table. The pilot asked, “What’s that for?” “To be honest sir,” the navigator replied, “I’ll know we’re lost before you will.”


It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns


A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, “What was your last known position?” Student: “When I was number one for takeoff.”


The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.


The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”

The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”


“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude.”

Judith M. Knowlton


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Rest in peace Bob

What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.

Helen Keller


Sunday two of my favorite women lost their dad. They are my daughter-in-law and her sister. Their dad had lived a long and fruitful life. He had been a successful lawyer up until his retirement a number of years ago. Bob was an avid golfer and also a giver, spending many hours with his church and more helping others. In other words he was one of the good guys. While he lived well into his eighties this last year or so has not been easy as he suffered from a number of maladies and about a month ago was diagnosed as having serious lung cancer. In the weeks since he suffered greatly while his wife and his daughters did everything they could to keep him as comfortable as possible and now he is gone.

There is no doubt that he will be missed by his family and friends. I have difficulty handling the grief that accompanies the loss of a loved one but I find that if I concentrate on being grateful for the good years and use those memories to fill the gap created by the loss a warmth continues in the heart. While Bob and I were never close I still considered him a respected friend and am glad that his suffering did not linger longer than it did. At last he is at peace and his legacy is a good one for he lived a good life and raised two fine daughters.

Here is an abridged article that deals on coping with grief that makes sense to me and I hope to others as well.

Coping with Grief

Coping with the loss of a close friend or family member may be one of the hardest challenges that many of us face. When we lose a spouse, sibling or parent our grief can be particularly intense. Loss is understood as a natural part of life, but we can still be overcome by shock and confusion, leading to prolonged periods of sadness or depression. The sadness typically diminishes in intensity as time passes, but grieving is an important process in order to overcome these feelings and continue to embrace the time you had with your loved one.

Moving on with life

  • Mourning the loss of a close friend or relative takes time, but research tells us that it can also be the catalyst for a renewed sense of meaning that offers purpose and direction to life. Grieving individuals may find it useful to use some of the following strategies to help come to terms with loss:
  • Talk about the death of your loved one with friends and colleagues in order to understand what happened and remember your friend or family member. Denying the death is an easy way to isolate yourself, and will frustrate your support system in the process.
  • Accept your feelings. People experience all kinds of emotions after the death of someone close. Sadness, anger, frustration and even exhaustion are all normal.
  • Take care of yourself and your family. Eating well, exercising and getting plenty of rest help us get through each day and move forward.
  • Reach out and help others dealing with the loss. Helping others has the added benefit of making you feel better as well. Sharing stories of the deceased can help everyone cope.
  • Remember and celebrate the lives of your loved ones. Possibilities include donating to a favorite charity of the deceased, framing photos of fun times, passing on a family name to a baby or planting a garden in memory. What you choose is up to you, as long as it allows you honor that unique relationship in a way that feels right to you.


Grief is the price we pay for love

Queen Elizabeth II


In the spirit of Bob’s love of laughter I give you the following.

John went to the doctor because he had bulging eyes and a persistent ringing in his ears.

The doctor looked him over and suggested removing his tonsils. The tonsillectomy resulted in no improvement, so John consulted a dentist who suggested that removing his teeth might eliminate the problem. All of John’s teeth were extracted but still his eyes bulged out and the annoying ringing in his ears continued.

A third doctor told him bluntly, “You have six months to live.”

Feeling doomed and gloomy, John decided to treat himself right while he still had time, so he bought a flashy car, hired a chauffeur and a gardener, and got himself measured by a tailor for some new suits. To go along with the new suits, he decided that even his shirts would be made to order. “Okay,” said the shirt maker, “let’s get your measurements. Hmm, thirty-four sleeve, sixteen collar.”

“No, I wear a fifteen collar” John told him.

“Sixteen collar,” the shirt maker repeated, measuring again.

“But I’ve always worn a fifteen collar,” said John.

“Listen,” said the shirt maker, “I’m telling you right now—if you keep on wearing a tight fifteen collar, your eyes will bulge out and you’ll have ringing in your ears.”


“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”

Lily Tomlin


An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

“How did that happen?,” gasped her mother.

“It wasn’t easy,” admitted the young lady, “but 3 girls helped me catch him.”


Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.


One day, a young girl is walking through a park when she hears a faint “Help me, help me”. She looks around and follows the quiet voice to a bush near the path. Looking under the bush she spies a little green frog trapped under a log. The girl moves the log and picks up the frog.

“Oh, thank you, thank you” says the frog, “Take me home and put me on your pillow and in the morning I’ll be a handsome Prince.”

So the girl takes the frog home and puts him on the pillow and there in the morning is a handsome prince.

You don’t believe that? Neither did her mother!


If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.

Johnny Carson


An 18-year-old girl came home with five job applications. She carefully filled them out, and later that evening, asked her Mom to look them over. All the answers were clear, concise and accurate. Including that on all five applications, under “Previous Employment”, she had listed “Baby-sitting”.

“Not bad,” thought her Mom. “Looking good.” But then she read, under “Reason for Leaving” the answer, “Parents came home.”


Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.

Leo Tolstoy


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


How about letting go

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

Lao Tzu

 Let yourself go

A few days ago I shared with you a piece written by Irma Bombeck that she wrote late in her life about what she would do if she could live her life over again. Like Irma too many of us wait until late in life to regret the things we did not do much more than the things we did do. Every day that goes by without our allowing ourselves the freedom to do things we want to do is another lost opportunity. We owe it to ourselves to avoid ending up trying to hold up the coffin lid because we have things we want to do but never got around to doing.

Trust me there are no prizes or medals resting at the end of life’s finish line. The medals and rewards are in the race itself and not at the end. The race can be agonizing if all you do is race in the same rut you always have with the finish being one of release and not of celebration of the joy found along the way. Have you noticed that those who have unshackled themselves from convention and the need for more material things have more fun, live better lives and usually get more done?

So my friends I suggest we write our own life job description and quit letting others write them for us. Here is an article written some years ago that I think has great advice.


Let Yourself Go

Author Unknown

The other day my friend told me to let go…. he told me not to be so worried about what I’m doing, or what I look like, but to just let myself go once in awhile. This really got me thinking. Maybe I should let go. Maybe I should do something crazy, just so I can say I did. I’ve got many long years ahead of me, and plenty of time to live a fun and happy life.

Sometimes, an opportunity only knocks at the door once, and if you don’t answer it at that particular moment, then you’ll never get another chance. Life is tough, and most of the time we spend our days wondering why things go the way they do.

After thinking for awhile I’m finally realizing that maybe thinking about this so much, is wasting the time in which we could be going out and making the days go better. We’re wasting the time we have here on Earth. By attempting to figure out why life goes the way it does, we lose time when we could be having fun, and living our lives to the fullest.

We are only here for a short amount of time. An average of 70-100 years seems long, but it goes faster then we realize. It’s so incredibly important to live every day to its fullest potential. When you’re 87 years old and laying on your death bed, do you want to look back and think of things that you wished you had done?

I don’t know about you but I want to look back and remember all the times when I let myself go, and had fun. I want to remember the times when I actually let myself be open to try new things, and open the door to wonderful opportunities.

Life is only wonderful if you leave yourself open to be part of it. Think about it.


We will be more successful in all our endeavors if we can let go of the habit of running all the time, and take little pauses to relax and re-center ourselves. And we’ll also have a lot more joy in living.

Thich Nhat Hanh



While vacationing on Cape Cod, my wife and I stopped at a small way-side stand and bought some tomatoes. When I commented how small they were, the proprietor’s reply was “Ay-up.”Returning a day or two later, my wife told the man the tomatoes he had sold us were tough and not very flavorful.

The old gentleman nodded, looked at us a moment, then said, “Lucky they was small, ain’t it?”


Pessimists calculate the odds. Optimists believe they can overcome them.

Ted Koppel


I was preparing to teach a college course on the history of banned movies and went to the library to take out some films that had been censored.

“Do you have any banned movies in your collection?” I asked the librarian.

“Oh, yes!” She answered.  “We have some really good ones.  What would you like?  Tommy Dorsey?  Glenn Miller?”


And now for a subliminal report.

Thank you.


A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. “Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,” the priest said.

“No,” said the minister. “I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.”

“You’re both wrong,” the guru said. “The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor.”

The repairman could contain himself no longer. “Hey, fellas,” he interrupted, “The best prayin’ I ever did was when I was hangin’ upside down from a telephone pole.”


If I won’t be myself, who will?

Alfred Hitchcock


The teacher asked her fifth-grade class, “How was Columbus treated when he returned from his third voyage?”

One student said, “Lots of people met him at the pier, and they all had a great time.”

Sternly, the teacher said, “You didn’t read the assignment!”

The student brought the textbook up to the teacher’s desk and showed her where it read, “Columbus received a cool reception when he returned from his third voyage.”


Cruise Rules:

1. Informal…no socks required.

2. Semiformal…..two socks needed.

3. Formal….socks must match.


I have often wondered about this myself. Ray

The doctor knocked at the hospital door before entering Jill’s room.  Jill called out to come in. The doctor then proceeded to tell Jill to remove all of her clothing after which he gave her a thorough, from top to bottom, front to back, leaving no part of her body untouched.  When he had finished, Jill looked the doctor straight in the eye and asked, “Doctor, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” he replied.

Jill asks, “Why did you bother to knock?”


Character is much easier kept than recovered.


911 Call

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one

Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Dang…I think I’m going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Dang……

Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the police. So don’t send them.


Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.

Melody Beattie


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

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