Ray's musings and humor

Archive for March, 2018

Do Something Now

Ray’s Daily

March 30. 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

dosomething

Ioday is Good Friday, a holiday for many in my country. I have a busy day ahead do I am giving my compiter the day off and sending you a reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on March 30, 2006

“You only lose energy when life becomes dull in your mind. Your mind gets bored and therefore tired doing nothing. You don’t have to be tired. Get interested in something. Get absolutely enthralled in something. Throw yourself into it with abandon. Get out of yourself. Be somebody. Do something. Don’t sit around moaning about things, reading the papers, and saying, “Why don’t they do something?” The man who is out doing something isn’t tired. If you’re not getting into good causes, no wonder you’re tired. You’re disintegrating. You’re deteriorating. You’re dying on the vine. The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have. You won’t have time to think about yourself and get bogged down in your emotional difficulties.”

Norman Vincent Peale

I think Dr. Peale is right on target. Far too many of us look back and wonder why we ever waited so long really start to enjoy a full life. I wish that more of us had a greater appreciation of what life has to offer while we were still young instead of waiting until the time we become gravely ill or are near the end of our years. I am always amazed at the spirit and zest for life I find in so many of Chemo patients I meet when I am getting my periodic Iron infusion. It is sad when it takes a grave illness for us to understand what is important in our lives and what really isn’t worth our time and energy.

Unfortunately I have had dear friends over the years who have been so loaded down with self-imposed burdens that they let day after day go by never rewarding themselves. I just wish more of us stopped and took inventory every once in awhile to see just how unimportant many of the things we do that keep us from doing something for ourselves really are.

Please don’t let fear of what lies ahead keep you from following Dr. Peale’s advice. Those who don’t step out lose, those who do find excitement, reward, and plenty of fun.

Please don’t be the one who tries to hold up the coffin lid saying, “Wait I haven’t started to live yet.”

~~~

“Fear less, hope more;

Whine less, breathe more;

Talk less, say more;

Hate less, love more;

And all good things are yours.”

Swedish Proverb

~~~

“What time does the library open?” the man on the phone asked the librarian.

“Nine A.M.” came the reply. “And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?”

“Not until nine A.M.?” the man asked in a disappointed voice.

“No, not till nine A.M.!” the librarian repeated again “Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?”

“Who said I wanted to get in?” the man sighed sadly. “I want to get out.”

~~~

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”

Rich Cook

~~~

Every ten years, as summertime nears,

An announcement arrives in the mail,

A reunion is planned; it’ll be really grand;

Make plans to attend without fail.

I’ll never forget the first time we met;

We tried so hard to impress.

We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,

And wore our most elegant dress.

It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.

It was held at a fancy hotel.

We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,

And everyone thought it was swell.

The men all conversed about who had been first

To achieve great fortune and fame.

Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses

And how beautiful their children became.

The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,

Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.

The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,

And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.

No one had heard about the class nerd

Who’d guided a spacecraft to the moon;

Or poor little Jane, who’s always been plain;

She married a shipping tycoon.

The boy we’d decreed “most apt to succeed”

Was serving ten years in the pen,

While the one voted “least” now was a priest;

Just shows you can be wrong now and then.

They took a class picture, a curious mixture

Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.

Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;

You never saw so many thighs.

At our next get-together, no one cared whether

They impressed their classmates or not.

The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;

By this time we’d all gone to pot.

It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;

We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.

Then most of us lay around in the shade,

In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.

By the fortieth year, it was abundantly clear,

We were definitely over the hill.

Those who weren’t dead had to crawl out of bed,

And be home in time for their pill.

And now I can’t wait as they’ve set the date;

Our sixtieth is coming, I’m told.

It should be a ball, they’ve rented a hall

At the Shady Rest Home for the old.

Repairs have been made on my old hearing aid;

My pacemaker’s been turned up on high.

My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;

And I’ve bought a new wig and glass eye.

I’m feeling quite hearty; I’m ready to party,

I’ll dance until dawn’s early light.

It’ll be lots of fun; and I hope at least one

Other person can make it that night.

~~~

There are tall people, short people, skinny people, and fat people, and every one of them would like to get his hands on the manufacturer who claims, “One size fits all.”

~~~

After a lengthy delay for plane repairs, the passengers were becoming impatient but quit complaining when the pilot told them: “Why don’t you look at it this way? Wouldn’t you rather be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here?”

~~~

“Every time you wake up and ask yourself, “What good things am I going to do today?”

Remember that when the sun goes down at sunset, it will take a part of your life with it.”

Indian Proverb

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Be Yourself

Ray’s Daily

March 29, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.

Raymond Hull

Be-yourself

I think far too many of us waste too much of our lives working on being somebody other than ourselves. I have been amazed over the years with how many good people I met did not realize just how good they were. They were so busy striving to be what they were not that they did not realize what they could be.

Trust me for you there is nobody better than you, please just be yourself. Here is something that is always appropriate as we live our lives.

Everybody Knows:

You can’t be all things to all people.

You can’t do all things at once.

You can’t do all things equally well.

You can’t do all things better than everyone else.

Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s.

So:

You have to find out who you are and be that.

You have to decide what comes first and do that.

You have to discover your strengths and use them.

You have to learn not to compete with others,

Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

Then:

You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.

You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.

You will have learned to live with your limitations.

You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.

And you’ll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe:

That you are a wonderful, unique person.

That you are a once-in-all-history event.

That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are.

That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.

And we’ll be able to stay one up on what used to get us.

May God Bless you and keep you safe,

Father Pat

~~~

We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.

François VI de la Rochefoucault

~~~

An unemployed man went to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor.

The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test. After the test, the manager says, “You will be employed as a janitor at minimum wage, $8.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day.” Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, “Well, then, that means that you virtually don’t exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed by Microsoft.”

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $20.00 in his wallet, he buys a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. In less than two hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100.00 before going to sleep that night. Thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. Getting up early every day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly. After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pickup truck to support his expanding business. By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pickup trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned. “What, you don’t have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce? Just imagine where you would be now, if you had been connected to the Internet from the very start!”

“Well,” replied the tomato millionaire, “I would be a janitor at Microsoft!”

~~~

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

~~~

Craig said that on the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”

~~~

“Weiler’s Law”

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have to do it himself.

~~~

“Say, Jim,” Steve said to his pal, “how do you like your new job?”

“It’s the worst job I ever had.”

“How long have you been there?”

“About three months.”

“Why don’t you quit?”

“No way. This is the first time in 20 years that I’ve looked forward to going home.”

~~~

It doesn’t get any better than this, that’s what I’m afraid of.

~~~

Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there.

The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.

The Judge then said, “Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next…”

~~~

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Those were the days

Ray’s Daily

March 28, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Morality is of the highest importance – but for us, not for God.

Albert Einstein

dirt-road

I listened to so many saying that presidential morality is not an issue and that he was hired to do a job not to stay monogamous. It seems like many of us have bought into “the ends justify the means” and as long as we get what we want everything else is OK.

I remember the days when we were expected to behave in a manner that was above reproach and we expected that our elected officials would as well. I don’t find that just because many of our previous officials were no angels does makes questionable behavior OK. It’s as if some think that all we have to do is use others bad behavior to make it OK to behave poorly.

When I read the following it reminded me of how things were when I was a kid. Those who misbehaved were not used as role models. I did somethings in my lifetime I wish I hadn’t, I am glad I was taught enough to regret what I did.

Dirt Roads

Paul Harvey

What’s mainly wrong with society today is that too many Dirt Roads have been paved.

There’s not a problem in America today, crime, drugs, education, divorce, delinquency that wouldn’t be remedied, if we just had more Dirt Roads, because Dirt Roads give character.

People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that life is a bumpy ride.

That it can jar you right down to your teeth sometimes, but it’s worth it, if at the end is home…a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog.

We wouldn’t have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other kids, from whom they learn how to get along.

There was less crime in our streets before they were paved.

Criminals didn’t walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they knew they’d be welcomed by 5 barking dogs and a double barrel shotgun. And there were no drive by shootings.

Our values were better when our roads were worse!  People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and motorists were more courteous, they didn’t tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust & bust your windshield with rocks.

Dirt Roads taught patience. For your mail, you walked to the mail box.

What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out? That was the best part, then you stayed home and had some family time, roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn and pony rode on Daddy’s shoulders and learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody.

Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole.

At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you’d have to hitch up a team and pull them out.  Usually you got a dollar…always you got a new friend…at the end of a Dirt Road!

~~~

Morality is not the doctrine of how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness.

Immanuel Kant

~~~

It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him.

As she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said,

“It’s all right honey, I’ve had a course in first aid.”

The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man’s pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration.

At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said,

“When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m already here.”

~~~

Marriage is nature’s way of keeping you from fighting with strangers.

~~~

A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist then queries how old the temple is.

“This temple is 1503 years old”, replies the guide.

Impressed at this accurate dating, he inquires as to how he gave this precise figure.

“Easy”, replies the guide. “The archaeologists said the temple was 1500 years old, and that was three years ago.”

~~~

Let the public mind become corrupt, and all efforts to secure property, liberty, or life by the force of laws written on paper will be as vain as putting up a sign in an apple orchard to exclude canker worms.

Horace Mann

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Be You Today

Ray’s Daily

March 27, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

Omar Khayyam

Be Happy

Yesterday was a pretty good day for me, I got everything done I had to get done except for what I forgot to do. So fortunately I have things to do today. At least my chores will give mr respite from watching our national chaos unfold.

I am looking forward to our family’s celebration of Easter. I will nejoy the food and the company and I don’t even have to cook.

Here is a piece I picked up from positiveprovocations.com That I like, I am all for happy!

How to be Happy Right NOW! 15 Positive Tips

  1. Please accept yourself and love yourself – unconditionally. Practice extreme self-care and set healthy boundaries. Self-love is not selfish.
  2. Just Stop resurfacing and rethinking the past. Don’t invest your energy in things you can’t go back and redo. Make peace with it. Get out of the past and into your life.
  3. Do not make the mistake of comparing your life to others. Don’t try to walk in their shoes – you have no clue what their life’s journey is all about. Keep your feet in your own shoes and follow your own path. Discover your own life’s purpose.
  4. Oh please oh please, don’t waste your precious time and energy on idle gossip.
  5. Take a really good look around you. Who are you spending time with? Are they draining your energy? Clear out your heart space and physical space to make room for positive, like-minded people who will contribute to your life – not take away from it.
  6. Laugh a lot, smile a lot and lighten up. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Life is more fun when we greet it with a smile.
  7. Let go of the “what if’s”. Please do not bother rehearsing the future with a whole lot of “what if’s” – it never turns out like you rehearsed it – and then you have wasted every minute you were caught up in the worry of it….time you could have spent more positively.
  8. Embrace your dreams and dream Big! Even while you’re awake – dream big! Working towards that dream will reignite your passion and life purpose.
  9. You need to realize that there is only one person responsible for your happiness – and that person is YOU. Noone can make you feel sad or down unless YOU let them.
  10. Know without a doubt that everything happens FOR you – not TO you. Problems are opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. Embrace your life. All of it.
  11. Being right is not a necessity. You don’t always have to be right. It’s perfectly fine to agree to disagree. Its freeing.
  12. Firmly practice mindfulness – in everything you do. Be IN the moment you are IN and not somewhere else.
  13. Considerably reduce your expectations and change your perceptions. Don’t try to change things you can’t control.
  14. You don’t have to have what everybody else has. Don’t long for what everybody else has. Its boring really. Know that you have everything you need and carve your own path. Envy is a wasted emotion.
  15. Say NO to hatred and revenge. Life is too short to waste on these negative emotions. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It will eat you up inside. Forgive. Then Drop it…let it go like a balloon in the sky forever.

~~~

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

Jim Rohn

~~~

A husband was with his wife when she decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him. In a cocky manner, he asked, “Where are all the men’s clothes?”

In a demure voice the clerk replied, “All of these clothes are for men, sir.”

~~~

The best exercise for reducing is to move the head slowly from right to left when offered a second helping at the dinner table.

~~~

I never knew this…..

TRUE Newspaper Headlines

* Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link-Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995

* Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut-The New York Times, November 22

* Alcohol ads promote drinking.-The Hartford Courant, November 18

* Official: Only rain will cure drought.-The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts

* Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men.-The Sunday Oregonian, September 24

* Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows.-The New York Times, March 10

* Scientists see quakes in L.A. future.-The Oregonian, January 28

* Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold.-Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26

* Bible church’s focus is the Bible.-Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994

* Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity.-The Chicago Tribune, March 5

* Lack of brains hinders research.-The Columbus Dispatch, April 16

* Fish lurk in streams.-Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29

~~~

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.

~~~

The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it.

After the story time, the students were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story.  Most of the pictures were predictable, but Larry’s had an odd element in it.

“Larry, I see Joseph and Mary with the baby Jesus on a donkey, but what is that following the donkey?

“It’s the flea, teacher.”

“Flea…? Ah…what flea?” asked the teacher.

To which the boy faithfully repeated the Bible verse:

“Take Mary and Jesus and flea to Egypt.  There’s Mary; there’s Jesus; and there’s the flea.”

~~~

There is in the worst of fortune the best of chances for a happy change.

Euripides

~~~

A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for coffee and a chat. They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative. One day, Aaron surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, “You know what? I’ve now become an optimist.”

Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up. But then Sam notices something isn’t quite right and he says to Aaron, “Hold on a minute, if you’re an optimist, why are you looking so worried?”

Aaron replies, “Do you think it’s easy being an optimist?”

~~~

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.”

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

A New Day

Ray’s Daily

March 26. 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.

Epictetus

a-new-day-begins

They keep saying it is spring but the ten inches of snow we had over the weekend makes that had to believe. The best thing about this weekend was that we did not have to go out. My neighbor, Mary Martha picked up our newspapers and placed them by our door, she even walked down with our mail so we could stay in. She is one of the best things about living where we do.

So now I must venture out I have things to do and errands to run. I am not going to let the unseasonable weather get me down, getting out is goind to be great! OK, now that I am thinking positive I am out of here.

I picked up the following from The Power of Positive Thinking written by Remez Sasson that may help some of us.

Positive Thinking Instructions and Advice

In order to turn the mind toward the positive, some inner work is required, since attitude and thoughts do not change overnight.

1.Read about this subject, think about its benefits, and persuade yourself to try it. The power of your thoughts is a mighty power that is always shaping your life. This shaping is usually done subconsciously, but it is possible to make the process a conscious one. Even if the idea seems strange, give it a try. You have nothing to lose, but only to gain.

2.Ignore what other people say or think about you, if they discover that you are changing the way you think.

3.Use your imagination to visualize only favorable and beneficial situations.

4.Use positive words in your inner dialogues, or when talking with others.

5.Smile a little more, as this helps to think positively.

6.Once a negative thought enters your mind, you have to be aware of it, and endeavor to replace it with a constructive one. If the negative thought returns, replace it again with a positive one. It is as if there are two pictures in front of you, and you have to choose to look at one of them, and disregard the other. Persistence will eventually teach your mind to think positively, and to ignore negative thoughts.

7.In case you experience inner resistance and difficulties when replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, do not give up, but keep looking only at the beneficial, good and happy thoughts in your mind.

8.It doesn’t matter what your circumstances are at the present moment. Think positively, expect only favorable results and situations, and circumstances will change accordingly. If you persevere, you will transform the way your mind thinks. It might take some time for the changes to take place, but eventually they will.

9.Another useful technique is the repetition of affirmations. This technique is similar to creative visualization, and can be used together with it.

~~~

Let your smile change the world but don’t let the world change your smile.

~~~

“Excerpts From The Dog’s Daily Diary”

8:00 am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

9:40 am – Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

10:30 am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!

11:30 am – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

12:00 noon – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1:00 pm – Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

4:00 pm – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

5:00 pm – Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5:30 pm – Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

6:00 pm – Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6:30 pm – Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favorite!

~~~

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

~~~

To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided to call on some daily. One he selected was a young widow, her husband, according to the index card, had died two years ago. After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in her arms.

He said, “I’m sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking for the widow Laffitte.”

“You’ve found her, Father.” smiled the lady.

“Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over two years ago.” he said glancing at the baby in her arms.

“That’s correct, Father. He surely did …but I didn’t!”

~~~

“I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”

Joseph Blosephina

~~~

Top Ten Signs You’re Being Stalked by Martha Stewart

  1. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they’re all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.
  2. You find a lemon slice in the dog’s water bowl.
  3. On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the half-open graham cracker garage door.
  4. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose

petal & saffron demi-glace’, with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a delicate mint-fennel sauce.

  1. The unmistakable aroma of potpourri follows you even after you leave the bathroom.
  2. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a swan.
  3. No matter “where” you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster fork.
  4. Twice this week you’ve been the victim of a drive-by doilying.
  5. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in every orifice.

AND THE NUMBER 1 Sign You’re Being Stalked by Martha Stewart…

  1. You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.

~~~

“Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.”

Oscar Wilde

~~~

My friend’s mother is a proper Southern lady and a passionate gardener who spends hours outside with her plants. In her neighborhood, where she has lived most of her life, no one has fences and every yard is open to the next.

Recently one of her longtime neighbors, an elderly man, moved away. “Are you going to miss him?” my friend asked.

“Actually I’m relieved,” her mother replied. “Now I can bend over.”

~~~

Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities.

Harvey Mackay

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Stay Positive

Ray’s Daily

Arch 23, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Live life to the fullest and focus on the positive.

Matt Cameron

stay-positive

I can’t believe how fast the days are going by, seems like yesterday was Monday and here it is Friday already. It is just another reminder of why I need to make sure I make good use of the days I have left. I think too many of us sit back and let time fly by without us. I need to stay positive and quit waiting for another day.

The following story has been around for awhile but is always a good reminder of the key maintaining a good life.

What Am I

I am seldom considered, though I do more to influence everything about you than virtually any one thing in your life.  I often control the time you get up in the morning, the time you go to sleep, what you eat and drink and the very thought that runs through your head.  I can make you either happy or sad, loving or hateful, cheerful or remorseful, congenial or spiteful and in doing so, control the very capacity that you have for success. 

No, you don’t often think of me instead you BLAME the problem I create on the shortcoming of others, or the state of the economy, or your family or a million other reasons.  Often at times unable to find anyone else to BLAME you look for shortcomings within yourself on which to lay the BLAME. 

When my impact on your life fully is considered in your every thought and action, when you are mindful of my awesome power, when you nurture and groom me for positive use in your life, I can become more contagious than the most prolific disease ever witnessed by man.  My influence will spread to every person you come in contact with.

Groomed and nurtured in a positive manner there will be no person or obstacle that can stand in the way of my success or fail to be impacted for the better. 

‘I Am Your Attitude’

~~~

Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.

Mary Lou Retton

~~~

A girl from North Carolina and a girl from California sat side by side on an airplane. The girl from North Carolina, being friendly and all, said, “So, where ya from?”

The California girl said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”

The girl from North Carolina sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: “So, where ya from, bitch?”

~~~

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.

The Dalai Lama

~~~

A big city corporate lawyer runs a stop sign in a small town in Tennessee, and gets pulled over by a sheriff’s deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than this hicktown deputy because he is a lawyer and is certain that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy’s expense. Deputy says, “License and registration, please.”

Lawyer says, “What for?”

Deputy says, “Y’all didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”

Lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”

Deputy says, “You still didn’t come to a complete stop. License and registration, please.”

Lawyer says, “What’s the difference?”

Deputy says, “The difference is, y’all have to come to complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!”

Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.”

Deputy says, “sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.”

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the lawyer and says, “Do y’all want me to stop or just slow down?”

~~~

“A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.”

William James

~~~

Wife: “I mended that hole in your pocket last night after you’d gone to bed, dear. Now, I ask you, am I not the thoughtful little wife?”

Husband: “Well, yes, you’re thoughtful enough, but tell me, dear, how did you discover there was a hole in my pocket?”

~~~

She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving the cute Toyota with a bumper sticker that said, “Grow your own dope.”

How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana patient.

Then I noticed the rest of her message … “Plant a man.”

~~~

“Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.”

Evan Esar

~~~

On one occasion a student burst into his office. “Professor Stigler, I don’t believe I deserve this F you’ve given me.”

To which Stigler replied, “I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award.”

~~~

I called to make airline reservations and was put on hold. After several minutes of taped music, a recorded voice came on: “If you have been waiting longer than ten minutes, you may press eight. This will not speed up your call, but it will give you something to do while you wait.”

~~~

“Where facts are few, experts are many.”

Donald R. Gannon

~~~

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”

Shouting back, the woman replies, “For crying out loud, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour that I’ll be ready in a minute!

~~~

“Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave. And I firmly believe that when I am positive, it not only makes me better, but it also makes those around me better.”

Harvey Mackay

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

I need to do better

Ray’s Daily

March 22, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

When you stay focused and keep a commitment you create momentum, and momentum creates momentum.

Rich Fettke

Mindfullness

One more day until I restart my daily visits to the gym. I am afraid I have let too many other things keep me away lately and that is not good.

Even though I am doing much less these days it seems like I am letting too many distractions keep me from doing some of the things I really should do. When I read the following article, I realized I am letting too much clutter divert my attention from what I should be doing. See if you recognize yourself not being as focused as I need to be,

5 Ways to Become More Present Everyday

BY GARY SAVOIE

In a world full of distractions, it’s become increasingly important to learn how to detach ourselves from all the surrounding “buzz” and become more present. In fact, we owe it to ourselves to pause once in awhile and take in all that life has to offer. We live in such a fast paced world and with all the noise that surrounds us, it’s become quite difficult to stay present.

Most of us are aware of the benefits of paying attention to the world around us. However, when it comes to putting it into practice we don’t know where to begin. If you’re looking for stress reduction, increased productivity, higher quality relationships, and more happiness here are five ways to live in the moment.

Breathe

Stopping to breathe, even for a few moments, allows you to check in with yourself and tap into your intuition. The more you can harness your intuition the more conscious you will become allowing yourself to make clearer decisions. Your breathing is also always in the present moment.

Limit notifications

Technology is an excellent tool when used properly, but it easily becomes distracting. Make it a priority to determine which notifications are important and turn off the rest. An overwhelmed mind is not a present mind.

Step away from the noise

Limiting your notifications is the perfect first step, but imagine yourself away from your devices for an hour. If you’re a millennial like me this might be hard to imagine, but just think for a second, our parents and their parents never had all of these distractions.

Once you get past the need to know what’s going on in everyone else’s life, you allow yourself to focus on what’s going on in yours.

Go outside

When is the last time you really went outside? I’m not talking about walking to and from your car when you leave the office. Think back to your younger years.

Do you remember that sense of joy you felt as a child running your fingers through a patch of grass? Or the feelings of happiness when you tried to make shapes out of clouds. It’s no surprise that connecting with nature can increase your happiness.

Focus on the details

We get so caught up in our response that sometimes we fail to listen. Whether it’s a conversation with a loved one or listening to the birds chirping while sipping your morning coffee focus on the intricacies each situation offers.

~~~

Be true to yourself, stay focused and stay you, take advice from other folks, use what you can, but never mind what is not for you. For the most part, trust yourself and believe in what you are doing.

Musiq Soulchild

~~~

** FATHERS OF 1900 and TODAY **

** In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that’s just the vacation home.

** In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived. Today, a father must wear a smock and know how to breathe.

** In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons. Today, kids wouldn’t touch Dad’s clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

** In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business. Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer.

** In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up, it’s time for school.” Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: “Wake up, it’s time for hockey practice.”

** In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table. Today, a father comes home to a note: “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at gymnastics, I’m at gym, Pizza in fridge.”

~~~

Avoid temptation… unless you just can’t resist!

~~~

Little Jenny walked into the kitchen one day and looked up at her mother, who was busy cooking dinner. “Mommy, how old are you?” she asked. “Now dear,” said her mother, “You should never ask a woman what her age is.” “Why not?” demanded Jenny. “Because it isn’t polite. You’ll understand better when you grow up.”

Jenny thought about it for a moment, then piped up, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?” “Jenny,” said her mother, “That’s not a question you ask people.” “Why not?” “Because it’s not polite to ask grown-ups about how much they weigh. You’ll understand some day.”

“Mommy,” Jenny asked, “Why did you and Daddy get divorced?” “Darling,” her mother replied with a sigh, “That’s something that’s still very painful for Mommy, and I really can’t talk about it now. I’ll explain when you are a little older.”

The next day, Jenny told a friend at school about the conversation with her mother. The other little girl explained to her, “All you have to do is get a look at your mom’s driver’s license. It has all the information about any grown-up you want on it.” So little Jenny sneaked a peek in her mother’s purse when she got home, and looked over her license, examining it carefully. That evening, she went back into the kitchen and announced, “I know how old you are, Mommy, you are 36!” Her mother looked down at her, surprised. “And I know how much you weigh said Jenny. “You weigh 135 pounds.” “Jenny, where did you learn this?” her mother asked. Jenny just smiled and continued, “And, I know why you and Daddy got a divorce.” Her mother just gasped and asked, “Why?” Jenny replied, “Because you got an F in sex!”

~~~

Being selective doing less is the path of the productive. Focus on the important few and ignore the rest.

Timothy Ferriss

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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