May 31, 2018
“Life is a journey, and if you fall in love with the journey, you will be in love forever.”
I wonder sometimes if we miss happiness opportunities because we are distracted by lingering negative feelings. I had lunch with a friend yesterday where we discussed the danger of letting ourselves get bogged down when events beyond our control fester in our minds to the point that we miss what where we might find happiness.
In our discussion we focused on how the loss of friends or loved ones as well as the limitations imposed by aging can have a lingering effect if we don’t set remorse aside and move on. I recently read the following article, which I have abridged slightly, that reminded me again that our happiness is really up to how we handle our lives.
Now I am off to the hospital early this morning for some routine cardiac tests and consultation with folks I really like.
Three Emotional Mistakes That Will Limit Your Happiness
by Amy Morin
Despite the huge significance emotions play in your life, there’s a good chance you don’t think about your feelings very often. Most people don’t. People rarely talk about feelings and most of us weren’t ever taught how to deal with them. Consequently, most people—even smart, successful people—are making some emotional mistakes.
As a psychotherapist, these are the most common emotional mistakes I see:
- 1. Denying how you feel. – Whether you minimize how you feel by saying, “I don’t really care that I didn’t get that job,” or you outright deny your emotions by saying, “No, I’m not angry,” most of us try to act like we’re not in pain sometimes. But, downplaying your emotions won’t make them go away.
It can be uncomfortable and embarrassing to admit your struggles. But acknowledging your emotions is key to making your best decisions—and it’s fundamental to addressing your psychological pain in a healthy way.
- 2. Avoiding uncomfortable feelings. – Fear, sadness, embarrassment, and disappointed are just a few uncomfortable emotions that no one wants to feel. But some people go to great lengths avoiding those feelings and consequently, they limit their lives. You have to allow yourself to feel uncomfortable to grow as an individual. Every time you face uncomfortable situations head-on is an opportunity to gain confidence in yourself. When you learn you can tolerate discomfort, you’ll be more willing to face your fears and step outside your comfort zone.
- Chasing happiness. – Happiness is all the rage these days. Everyone is talking about all the things you should be doing right now to feel happier. But, chasing happiness backfires. Insisting that you should feel happier will ruin the moment. The idea that you aren’t happy enough puts pressure on you to experience more joy in your life. And racing from one activity to the next trying to force happiness is one surefire way to feel worse about your life.
How to Improve Your Emotional Skills
Emotional skills are like any other skill—you can get better with practice. But before you can improve, it’s important to take stock of some of the emotional mistakes you might be making.
“In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom.”
“I have good news and bad news,” the defense attorney told his client. “First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene.”
“Oh, no!” cried the client. “What’s the good news?”
“Your cholesterol is only 180.”
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
Doug and Bill were at the racetrack.
Doug says, “You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government.”
Bill says, “Well it could be worse.”
Doug replies, “What could be worse than telling the government you won $600.”
Bill sighs, “Telling your wife.”
If you want to keep your memories, first you have to live them.
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, “Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.”
“Good,” my dad quickly replied. “Wash it again!”
Management has created a wonderful solution, now they’re looking for a problem to go with it.
Judi and Gayle were having a rare heart to heart talk. “What do you consider your worst vice,” Judi asked.
“I don’t like to admit it,” Gayle said, “but my worst vice is vanity. Sometimes I sit in front of the mirror and just admire my face.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it,” said Judi. “That’s not vanity. That’s imagination.”
Good deeds are admirable, but when they are done with grace and tact, they are superb.
A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty.
“Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”
Joey’s teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, “Joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.”
The Mother wrote back the next day, “If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his Father.”
If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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