Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2018

Stay Happy

Ray’s Daily

May 31, 2018

Ray@iquest.net

“Life is a journey, and if you fall in love with the journey, you will be in love forever.”

Peter Hagerty

Hppiness

I wonder sometimes if we miss happiness opportunities because we are distracted by lingering negative feelings. I had lunch with a friend yesterday where we discussed the danger of letting ourselves get bogged down when events beyond our control fester in our minds to the point that we miss what where we might find happiness.

In our discussion we focused on how the loss of friends or loved ones as well as the limitations imposed by aging can have a lingering effect if we don’t set remorse aside and move on. I recently read the following article, which I have abridged slightly, that reminded me again that our happiness is really up to how we handle our lives.

Now I am off to the hospital early this morning for some routine cardiac tests and consultation with folks I really like.

Three Emotional Mistakes That Will Limit Your Happiness

by Amy Morin

Despite the huge significance emotions play in your life, there’s a good chance you don’t think about your feelings very often. Most people don’t. People rarely talk about feelings and most of us weren’t ever taught how to deal with them. Consequently, most people—even smart, successful people—are making some emotional mistakes.

As a psychotherapist, these are the most common emotional mistakes I see:

  1. 1. Denying how you feel. – Whether you minimize how you feel by saying, “I don’t really care that I didn’t get that job,” or you outright deny your emotions by saying, “No, I’m not angry,” most of us try to act like we’re not in pain sometimes. But, downplaying your emotions won’t make them go away.

It can be uncomfortable and embarrassing to admit your struggles. But acknowledging your emotions is key to making your best decisions—and it’s fundamental to addressing your psychological pain in a healthy way.

  1. 2. Avoiding uncomfortable feelings. – Fear, sadness, embarrassment, and disappointed are just a few uncomfortable emotions that no one wants to feel. But some people go to great lengths avoiding those feelings and consequently, they limit their lives. You have to allow yourself to feel uncomfortable to grow as an individual. Every time you face uncomfortable situations head-on is an opportunity to gain confidence in yourself. When you learn you can tolerate discomfort, you’ll be more willing to face your fears and step outside your comfort zone.
  2. Chasing happiness. – Happiness is all the rage these days. Everyone is talking about all the things you should be doing right now to feel happier. But, chasing happiness backfires. Insisting that you should feel happier will ruin the moment. The idea that you aren’t happy enough puts pressure on you to experience more joy in your life. And racing from one activity to the next trying to force happiness is one surefire way to feel worse about your life.

How to Improve Your Emotional Skills

Emotional skills are like any other skill—you can get better with practice. But before you can improve, it’s important to take stock of some of the emotional mistakes you might be making.

~~~

“In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom.”

Buddha

~~~

“I have good news and bad news,” the defense attorney told his client. “First the bad news. The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with that found at the crime scene.”

“Oh, no!” cried the client. “What’s the good news?”

“Your cholesterol is only 180.”

~~~

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

~~~

Doug and Bill were at the racetrack.

Doug says, “You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government.”

Bill says, “Well it could be worse.”

Doug replies, “What could be worse than telling the government you won $600.”

Bill sighs, “Telling your wife.”

~~~

If you want to keep your memories, first you have to live them.

BOB DYLAN

~~~

Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, “Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.”

“Good,” my dad quickly replied. “Wash it again!”

~~~

Management has created a wonderful solution, now they’re looking for a problem to go with it.

~~~

Judi and Gayle were having a rare heart to heart talk.  “What do you consider your worst vice,” Judi asked.

“I don’t like to admit it,” Gayle said, “but my worst vice is vanity.  Sometimes I sit in front of the mirror and just admire my face.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” said Judi.  “That’s not vanity.  That’s imagination.”

~~~

Good deeds are admirable, but when they are done with grace and tact, they are superb.

~~~

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty.

“Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”

~~~

Joey’s teacher sent a note home to his Mother saying, “Joey seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.”

The Mother wrote back the next day, “If you find a solution, please advise.  I have the same problem with his Father.”

~~~

If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you.”

Lao Tzu

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

They Care

Ray’s Daily

May 30, 2018

Ray@iquest.net

You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.

John Steinbeck

Empathy

You are probably like I am when it comes to valuing the qualities exhibited by the people you meet. Over the years I have had the good fortune to have met and known folks from all walks of life. Rich and poor, honored and ignored, young and old. They were  business people, educators, scientists as well as a multitude of leaders.

In all those years a few people I have met really stand out. Most were unsung, they are folks just like you and me, but what made them special was their good hearts, The one thing they had in common was their empathy, they not only felt others pain they often helped share their burdens.

There is much to be said about how much people who care for others without reward or recognition do for us all. They are my heroes.

Here is a short story I always have liked, I hope you will as well.

Puppies for Sale

A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read “Puppies For Sale.” Signs like that have a way of attracting small children and sure enough, a little boy appeared by the store owner’s sign. “How much are you going to sell the puppies for?” he asked. The store owner replied, “Anywhere from $30-$50.”

The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change. “I have $2.37,” he said. “May I please look at them?” The store owner smiled and whistled, out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerably behind.

Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, “What’s wrong with that little dog?” The store owner explained that the veteriarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn’t have a hip socket. It would always limp. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited. “That is the little puppy that I want to buy.” The store owner said, “No, you don’t want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I’ll just give him to you.”

The little boy got quite upset. He looked into the store owner’s eyes, pointing his finger, and said, “I don’t want you to give him to me. That dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I’ll pay full price. In fact, I’ll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for.”

The store owner countered, “You really don’t want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies.”

To this, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, “Well, I don’t run so good myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands!”

Author Unknown

~~~

All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.

Tahereh Mafi

~~~

One night Gwen found her husband standing over their newborn baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, and skepticism.Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arms around her husband.

“A penny for your thoughts.” she whispered in his ear.

“It’s amazing!” Randy replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib that nice for only $46.50!”

~~~

“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”

Nick Arnette

~~~

A man walked into the ladies’ department of a Macy’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”

“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.

“Type?” inquired the man. “There is more than one type?”

“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. “Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras,” she replied.

Confused, the man asked what the types were. The saleslady replied, “The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, the Presbyterian type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?”

Still confused, the man asked, “What is the difference between them?”

The lady responded, “It is all really quite simple… the Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of molehills.”

~~~

Don’t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

~~~

Two political candidates were having a hot debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, “What about the powerful interest that controls you?”

And the other guy screamed back, “You leave my wife out of this!”

~~~

Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other’s good, and melt at other’s woe.

Homer

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Here we go again

Ray’s Daily

May 29, 2018

Ray@iquest.net

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

Omar Khayyam

Happy today

Our Memorial Day National Holiday is over. We have had another 500 Mile automobile race here in Indianapolis. And the highlight of our weekend was celebrating a grandson’s graduation from Clemson University, one of my great-grandsons 1st birthday and my youngest daughters much older birthday. I find myself little brain dead and am off to one of my doctors this morning so I am again sending you another Daily from yesteryear

Ray’s Daily

May 29, 2003

I can’t help compare the life that we had living in the world Bob Hope reported on and what we have today. Day before yesterday the government had to raise the debt ceiling by another trillion dollars, the president signed a tax cut that insures that we will be deeply in the red in the years ahead, and the miscalculations on what it will take in the months and years ahead in Iraq and Afghanistan, make our deficit problem even worse. The value of the dollar is again reaching record lows and we may soon see the exodus of the foreign money that has helped finance our over-spending for so many years. Where are all the fiscal conservatives? Can we live with the concept of “another day older and another day in debt?”

The record spending of the current administration coupled with the ever plummeting revenues seems to go un-noticed by my fellow citizens. We keep being told what we want to hear and when we look under the blanket we find that all is not what we are told it is. Few believe that the recent tax cut will have any short term effect on the economy or that it will even come close to catching up with the huge job losses we have experienced recently. We under-spend on home security, have cut back domestic programs and have shifted much of the burdens of government to the cash strapped states, while spending huge amounts elsewhere. The other day I heard that we are committed to establishing universal health care in Iraq, I am glad they will get it and at the same time a little sad that we are financing so much of their recovery will having so many uninsured here: maybe someday we can do as much for our own citizens.

I almost feel that this administration is trying to buy my vote by borrowing huge amounts of money from my family’s children. I have always been a registered Republican; I just wish more of those I respect would have the courage to stand up against the threat of being called un-American and provide us some leadership.

Sorry, did it again. Well on with the show.

~~~

Many of us believe that wrongs aren’t wrong if it’s done by nice people like ourselves.

Author Unknown

~~~

Ask any man and he will tell you that any woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.

While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that in the Jewish woman’s version of this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.

~~~

“It often takes more courage to change one’s opinion than to stick to it.”

G.C. Lichtenberg

~~~

The Blonde Cook Book

MONDAY:

It’s fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY:

Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY:

A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can’t say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:

Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have

been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY:

Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY:

Bob’s folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY.

This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose.

~~~

On the bottom of an office memo:  “If you have any questions, please read again.”

~~~

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.”

~~~

Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear

~~~

Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words.

One day, he met a beautiful princess and fell madly in love with her. With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole years so that he could look at her and say, “My darling.” But at the end of these 2 years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5.

At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking.

Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden, the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”

And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind her dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said, “What was that?”

~~~

Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well.

Josh Billings

~~~

My wife and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were leaving the store when we realized we didn’t have batteries. I stepped over to a counter to get the batteries but couldn’t attract the attention of the clerk. My wife waited for a little while then said, “I’ll get a clerk over here real fast.”

With that, she pulled out her pocket tape measure and started measuring a large TV set. Amazingly, a clerk leap-frogged over several pieces of furniture to reach her side in jig time. To his “may I help you?” she said – “Of course. I’ll take 8 of those batteries over there.

~~~

“In the end, only kindness matters.”

Jewel Kilcher

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

How to succeed

Ray’s Daily

May 25, 2018

Ray@iquest.net

Go confidently in the direction of your Dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined!

Henry David Thoreau

integrety

I have a friend who is undergoing a major career change, He will be working in a totally new occupation. He has limited experience in the work he will be doing. He has no references in the field. Most of us would think a major undertaking like my friend is doing would dissuade us from even trying.

But you know what? I think he will succeed. You see my friend has high personal standards, he is revered for his integrity, honesty and commitment to those he serves. I think too often we limit our judgement of others to what we know of their title, credentials or job description when success is achieved by those who bring a positive attitude and true concern for others to what they do.

The following creed reminds me of my friend so I want to share it with you today.

 A Creed To Live By

Nancye Sims

  • Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
  • It is because we are different that each of us are special. Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only do what is best for you.
  • Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
  • Don’t let life slip through your fingers by living in the past or in the future. By living one day at a time you live all days of your life.
  • Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
  • Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.
  • Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
  • Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible. The fastest way to lose love is to hold to it tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
  • Don’t dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope, to be without hope is to be without purpose.
  • Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way.

~~~

‘It’s our choices, Harry, that show us what we really are…far more than our abilities.’

Albus Cumbledore from ‘ Harry Potter’ by J K Rowling ~

~~~

Maxine on “Driver Safety” – “I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.”
Maxine on “Housework” – “I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.”

Maxine on “Body Piercing” – “I’d get my tongue pierced, but I still have a little bit of brain left in my head.”
Maxine on “Work” – “My performance at work has really improved over the years. Now I can nail a co-worker with a paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards.”

Maxine on “the Technology Revolution” – “My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.”
Maxine on “Aging” – “Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita.”

~~~

I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
~~~

A prominent surgeon, who was a member of operating teams at both St. Francis Hospital and Christ Hospital in the Chicago area, would operate in the morning, then field calls about his patients in the evening.

One night, a few dinner guests were quite shocked as the good doctor was on the phone talking to a resident at Christ Hospital, when the other phone rang.  His wife answered, then whispered to her husband, “It’s St. Francis calling.” He whispered back, “Tell St. Francis I’ll have to call back. I’m talking to Christ.”

~~~

If I were here more often, I wouldn’t be gone so much.
~~~

She said: Our neighbor loaned my husband his old chain saw to trim some tree branches.  Unfortunately, the engine burned out while my husband was using it.  Not wanting to return a broken piece of equipment, he bought a new saw to replace it.

When I offered it to our neighbor, he thanked me but said, “Keep it. I’ll borrow it when I need it.”
I was turning away when his eyes lit up.  “Hey,” he asked, “want to borrow my car?”
~~~

Disappointments should be cremated, not embalmed.

Henry S. Haskins

~~~

It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed.  I tried to force my way on, but no one would budge, although there was ample room in the back. Then the bus driver took over.

“Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen,” he shouted.  “Will all the beautiful, smart people please move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly stupid people stay up front?”

~~~

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want. And if they can’t, make them.

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

When he quit looking he found it

Ray’s Daily

May 24, 2018

Ray@iquest.net

Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

Guillaume Apollinaire

appreciate

One of the benefits to living as long as I have is that you realize your life is really pretty good. Too many of us waste years as we pursue a different life. Even when we get somewhere we thought we wanted to be it was not what we expected,

I have learned sometime ago that each day has something to offer if only we are willing to pay attention to what we have. There are few things as empowering as making each day special versus spending time longing for what is not there.

Just think what the gentleman in the following story life would have been like if he would not of waited until he was eighty years old.

“Happiness is a choice”

An old man lived in the village. He was one of the most unfortunate people in the world. The whole village was tired of him, he was always gloomy, constantly complained and always was in a bad mood. The longer he lived, the more bile was becoming and the more poisonous were his words. People avoided him, because his misfortune became contagious. It was even unnaturally and insulting to be happy next to him. He created the feeling of unhappiness in others.

But one day, when he got eighty years old, an incredible thing happened. Instantly everyone heard the rumour: “An Old Man is happy today, he doesn’t complain about anything, smiles, and even his face is freshened up”. The whole village gathered together. An old man was asked:

– What happened to you?

– Nothing special.. – he answered. – Eighty years I’ve been chasing happiness, and it was useless. And then… I decided to live without happiness and just enjoy life… That is why I am happy now!

~~~

It’s the moments that I stopped just to be, rather than do, that have given me true happiness.

Richard Branson

~~~

I always say true stories are the best:

Green garden grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not just rattlesnakes.  A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. The husband, who was taking a shower, ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold nosed him on the rear. He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and one of the Emergency Medical Technicians saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That’s when the man broke his leg.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushion where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband’s mouth on the woman’s mouth and slammed her husband on the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was again called when it was determined that the injury required hospitalization. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed the snake had bitten him.  She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man’s throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. The ambulance arrived and took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.  He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. Another policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog. The startled dog jumped up and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire. Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls the entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire truck had started raising his ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and pulled out the electricity and disconnected telephones in a ten-square city block area.

Time passed… Both men were discharged from the hospital. The house was rebuilt. The police acquired a new car, and all was right with the world. About a year later the original couple was watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

She shot him.

~~~

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.

Carrie Snow

~~~

When women retire as homemakers they tend to get a little testy. Here is what husbands have to look forward to.

Kitchen closed – – this chick has had it!

I’m creative; you can’t expect me to be neat too!

So this isn’t Home Sweet Home… Adjust!

Ring Bell for Maid Service…If no answer do it yourself!

I clean house every other day…. Today is the other day!

If you write in the dust, please don’t date it!

Our house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don’t like my standards of cooking … lower your standards.

Apology … Although you’ll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn’t always look like this: Some days it’s even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

Help keep the kitchen clean – eat out.

Dull women have immaculate houses.

~~~

If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.

Roy T. Bennett

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

You know you are

Ray’s Daily

May 23, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Concentrate on where you want to go, not on what you fear.

Anthony Robbins

Believe

I think we all need to be our own best friend, a friend who is always ready to raise our spirits. Of course we also need to appreciate the friends who are a positive influence on our lives. What we don’t need is an excess of unwarranted criticism from ourselves or others.

Too many folks take even erroneous criticism to heart causing them to stumble as they avoid doing very much. It does not have to be that way. Here are tips from the Wings for the Heart blog that can help us all.

Believing in Yourself, Even When Others Don’t

How do we avoid letting other people’s negativity erode our belief in ourselves? There are three major points to keep in mind:

1) Reinforcement = Strength. Think of positive thoughts as the antidote to any negativity that comes your way. Feed your mind empowering, positive thoughts daily, preferably several times a day – and most especially after you encounter negativity from another.

The stronger you can build up your belief in yourself, the less you will care about others who insult you, ridicule you, or reject you. You won’t be looking to others for your sense of validation or approval, because you will already have your OWN approval.

2) Conserve Your Energy. While it might be tempting to try to explain, defend, or prove yourself to someone who rejects you, this is usually a waste of your time and energy. Once someone forms an opinion of you, they are unlikely to change it.

The more you try to change their minds, the more stubbornly they will dig their heels in and resist. So, simply release your need to prove yourself and accept that they are entitled to their opinions. Their comments and opinions cannot detract from your belief in yourself, unless you allow them to.

3) Limit Your Exposure. Once a person reveals their negative opinion or directs hurtful comments your way, you might want to avoid spending excessive time with them in the future.

This becomes more difficult if it is a family member that you can’t just shut out of your life completely. But you can still set boundaries and limit the amount of time you are faced with negativity.

Finally, remember that no one else can define you, or live your life for you, or take away the beauty and uniqueness that is you. They may try, but they won’t be successful unless you allow it. If you instead choose to turn away from the negativity and focus on building a solid foundation of belief in yourself, the negative comments will cease to matter to you. You will go on to create a fulfilling, successful life that reflects exactly who you are, regardless of what others say or do.

~~~

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

William Shedd

~~~

Tips from the kids:

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.  Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.– Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.– Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don’t want any more kids.– Lori, age 8

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they’re rich.– Pam, age 7

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?– Kelvin, age 8

~~~

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

~~~

One of those physical fitness club franchises was preparing to enter the international market.  They placed ads in newspapers all over the county for people who could represent them on a tour.  The ad said: We’re looking for five men in peak physical condition.  Must be able to speak Spanish, French, Chinese, or Japanese.  Must be knowledgeable about weights, aerobics, and at least two major sports.

The day after the ad appeared, a heavy man of about 70 appeared in the offices of the fitness club.  “I’m here about the ad,” he said.

The bronzed Adonis behind the desk looked surprised, but decided to be polite.  “Do you speak Spanish or French?” he asked.

“Nope,” the old man said.

“Chinese? Japanese?”

“No, both times.”

“Know anything about weights or aerobic exercises?”

“Only that I wouldn’t be caught dead with either one.”

“How about sports?”

“I’ve never played anything more taxing than checkers.”

“I see,” the young man said.  “Tell me something.  Why did you come here?”

“To tell you to count me out.”

~~~

“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”

James Matthew Barrie

~~~

The young rancher came running into the store and said to his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup from the parking lot!”

Bubba replied, “Did you see who it was? The young rancher answered, I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”

~~~

All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. . . . You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.

Walt Disney

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Enjoy your life

Ray’s Daily

May 22, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“I think being in love with life is a key to eternal youth.”

Doug Hutchison

live-life-to-the-fullest-

It is hard to believe that I wrote my first Daily in 2000. It was a way for me to stay connected with a few of the folks I had worked with over the years. During the past eighteen years it has required me to think and make discoveries about the world and myself while making a multitude of new friends. There are over 3000 back issues with most available even today on WordPress.

The following story reminded me of so many of you that I wanted to share it today. I may have sent it to you before but I hope you will understand that the combination of thousands of previous issues and a failing memory make occasional duplicates likely.

The Story of Life

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long-lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger) but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience help to create who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count!!! Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

~~~

“Life doesn’t require that we be the best, only that we try our best.”

Jackson Brown Jr.

~~~

The reason 30+ year old women get carded is because the cashiers and bag-boys make bets on how OLD you really are and someone has to find out. They know you would lie if they asked you.

~~~

Today is a day for making firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?

~~~

A man goes to a fortune teller to seek his fortune. The fortune teller says, “You are the Father of two children.”

The Father laughed and said, “That’s what you think, I’m the Father of three.”

The fortune teller laughed and said, “Nope.  That’s what you think.”

~~~

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

~~~

Andy Rooney on Women over 40

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will not lie next to you in bed and ask, What are you thinking? She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, and what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to worry where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Here’s an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

~~~

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Yes you can

Ray’s Daily

May 21, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

If you do not believe you can do it then you have no chance at all.

Arsene Wenger

ou-can-do-it.

Too many of us let ourselves and others down by our reluctance to do what we are capable of doing. Most of the time we resist only because we don’t have confidence in ourselves. I have learned that if I do try something and fail folks appreciate that I made an effort rather than criticize. You know what is even better, most of the time I don’t fail. I know we will never succeed if we never try.

I just read an article about thinking too small written by David Sack, M.D here are excerpts from his article:

Are you giving yourself the chance to be your best and to experience all that you can? Or are you living a miniature life? Here are five signs you’re living too small for your inherent bigness:

You wait to be asked …… to speak in the meeting, to go to the movies, to have a turn with the karaoke mic, to join the conversation at a party, to share your opinion. Putting yourself forward is just not in your DNA.

The reality: If you wait to be asked, the invitation may never come. Yes, that might mean you sometimes avoid embarrassment, but it also means you are going to miss chances to grow, learn, and just have fun.

You’ll do anything to avoid confrontation. No matter how big or legitimate your complaint, you can’t bring yourself to actually confront a person with your grievance.

The reality: It can be hard to stand up for yourself, but doing so in a diplomatic way is more respectful to everyone involved than venting behind someone’s back. It’s also your best hope for bringing about real change. Give the person a chance to make things better or explain. You will both be better off for it.

You make room for the little stuff in your life before the big. Life seems full of minutia—errands, chores, email, to-do lists. The point is not that there’s a way to squeeze everything into your life, but you should prioritize the things that really matter.

Criticism lays you low rather than helping you grow. When discouraging words come your way, you see it as confirmation of what you suspected all along—I’m a loser. And it doesn’t even need to be words. A single disgusted look can make you wither.

The reality: People usually mean a lot less by their criticism than we hear. Pay attention to your reaction the next time you are at the receiving end of a negative comment. Try to stop yourself and listen as though you were taking notes for another person. Is the criticism valid? Is there something to learn from it? If so, great! You’ve had a positive experience, albeit a painful one. If not, say, “I see your point but I disagree, and here’s why.” Then move on.

You plan more than you produce. You have ideas, maybe lots of them. But when push comes to shove, you find a million reasons not to do them.

The reality: Yes, it would hurt if your brainchild were met with indifference or derision, but what’s the alternative? Never taking a chance? Never seeing what you can really do? Even if nothing turns out as you planned, you’ll learn plenty about what to do next time. At the very least, you’ll be able to look yourself in the mirror and say, “I gave it my best shot.”

~~~

The most important thing for success is self belief and confidence. Believing you deserve it, believing you can do it, and you will get it.

Anil Sinha

~~~

Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a 10 ton truck and landed up in hospital in intensive care. His best friend Morris came to visit him. Bernie struggles to tell Morris, “My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She’s so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside.”

“What does she read?”

“My life insurance policy.”

~~~

“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history — with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.”

Mitch Ratliffe

~~~

With only two tellers working at the bank, the line I was standing in was moving very slowly.  As I waited, I began to fill in my withdrawal slip. Not sure of the date, I turned and asked the woman behind me. “It’s the fifth,” she replied. From the back of the line a man advised, “Don’t write it in yet!”

~~~

Discover wildlife!  Have kids!

~~~

My boss’ wife Sherry was exasperated with her younger sister, who bought an unreliable car and called for a ride every time it broke down. One day Sherry got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this time?” she asked. “My brakes went out,” her sister said. “Can you come to get me?” “Where are you?” Sherry asked. “I’m in the drugstore,” her sister responded. “And where’s the car?” “It’s in here with me.”

~~~

Murphy’s Technology Law #2:

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

~~~

A DC-10 had an exceedingly long rollout after landing with his approach speed a little high. San Jose Tower: “American 751 heavy, turn right at the end of the runway, if able.  If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport.”

~~~

A woman sees a beautiful tennis bracelet in a jewelry store window.  She goes in and asks the clerk if a small deposit will hold it until her husband does something unforgivable.

~~~

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” –

Oscar Wilde

~~~

“How long have you been driving without a tail light?” asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist.

The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan.

He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.

“Come on, now,” he said, “you don’t have to take it so hard.  It isn’t that serious.”

“It isn’t?” cried the motorist.  “Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?”

~~~

Don’t let mental blocks control you. Set yourself free. Confront your fear and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.

Roopleen

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I’ll buy

Ray’s Daily

May 18, 2018

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

Dr. Seuss

a-cup-of-coffee-shared-with-a-friend-

Lately I find that I often reminisce revisiting past events that have given me much pleasure. The other day as my mond again drifted back I realized for the first time that it was not the location or environment that was special, it was how I felt.

As meaningful past events surfaced I again discovered that in almost every case the good feelings were due in large part to the sharing of the moment with someone else. I honestly believe that the joy is magnified when shared. So, to many of you thanks for the memories.

If you are ever nearby here in North Indianapolis and have a little spare time let me buy you  a cup of coffee, I would love to catch up.

Here are a few things worth remembering:

      12 things to remember:

The past cannot be changed.

Opinions don’t define your reality

Everyone’s journey is different.

Things always get better with time.

Judgments are a confession of character.

Over thinking will lead to sadness.

Happiness is found within.

Positive thoughts create positive things.

Smiles are contagious.

Kindness is free.

You only fail if you quit.

What goes around, comes around.

~~~

“We can go through our whole lives worrying about our future happiness, and totally miss where true peace lives- right here, right now.”

Peter Russell

~~~

Jill complained to Nina, “Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her.”

“Well,” replied Nina in a hurt tone, “I told her not to tell you I told her.”

“Oh dear!” sighed Jill. “Well, don’t tell her I told you that she told me.”

~~~

If I won’t be myself, who will?

Alfred Hitchcock

~~~

The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.

In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister’s embarrassment.

The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, “Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches …and for the spirit in which they were given!”

~~~

You can tell how old you are by remembering when a family went for a Sunday drive and everyone got in the same car.

~~~

A surgical patient was given the usual post-operative instructions. That night, she called wanting to know if her mother could visit.

“Any time,” the doctor replied. “Why do you ask?”

“It says here in your instructions: ‘No relations until after your post-op checkup.'”

~~~

A beggar asked me for a dollar for a sandwich. I said, “First let me see the sandwich.”

~~~

The day I started my construction job, I was in the office filling out an employee form when I came to the section that asked: Single____ Married____ Divorced____.

I marked single. Glancing at the man next to me, who was also filling out a form, I noticed he hadn’t marked any of the blanks. Instead, he had written, “Yes, in that order.”

~~~

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Unknown

~~~

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”

The little boy replied with a shaking voice, “The big sissy!”

~~~

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting what we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Frederick Koenig

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

It’s all in how you do it

Ray’s Daily

May 17, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

Jim Rohn

YCDIT1

The truly happy people I know seem to be really good at avoiding stress. It is not that challenges don’t arise for them, in that regard they are no different than we are. I think what makes them relatively stress free is how they handle the difficulties they encounter in their lives.

One of my good friends has had more setbacks and problems than most people will ever have to face and yet this friend is always in good spirits. In her case she treats whatever happens as just another day at the office, never losing her positive attitude.

Some time ago Angel Chernoff wrote about the Habits of Happy People where she shared some of their secrets on how to roll with whatever happens. Here are edited tips from her article.

9 Tricks Happy People Use to Stress Less

  1. Know what you’re trying to achieve and why. – Lack of direction creates stress. And it’s lack of direction, not lack of time, that’s the problem when it comes to personal achievement.  Everyone has the same 24-hour days and 7-day weeks.
  2. Do less by focusing exclusively on what’s important. – The essence of personal productivity is to do the important things rather than the urgent things. In other words, put first things first. Focus on the essential and eliminate the rest.
  3. Think progress, not perfection. – Don’t worry about perfection; you’ll never achieve it. Instead, focus on the progress you’ve made and the progress you intend to make today.
  4. Cleanse your heart every night. – Just as your body needs regular washing because it gets dirty every day, so does your heart. Because every day, people hurt you, offend you, forget you, snub you, step on you, or reject you. But if you choose to forgive these people and let these things go at the end of each day, you cleanse your heart.  You wake up the next morning refreshed and free of negativity.  Refuse to carry old regrets, mindsets, and distractions into each new day.
  5. Purge untrue thoughts. – Behind every stressful feeling is an untrue thought. Before the thought you weren’t suffering, but after the thought you began to suffer.  When you recognize that the thought isn’t true, once again there is no suffering. 
  6. Expect some stress, accept it, and let go of it. – The most important journeys that lead to the most wonderful places are usually the challenging ones you must endure the hard way. You must scale the wall that’s in your way, gathering lessons as you climb, before letting go as you descend to the other side. You will only lose if you never climb or you never let go.
  7. Be kind to your body. – A good workout is the best stress reducer, and a fit, healthy body is the best fashion statement.
  8. Do one nice thing for yourself every day. – Put yourself at the top of your priority list. There is no person on Earth who deserves your kindness and attention more than you.  When you love yourself first, everything else falls into place. So treat yourself every day.  Give yourself something special – like laughter, good conversation, meditation, quiet reading, an hour to work on a passion, a long walk, etc.
  9. Simplify. – Organize, don’t agonize. Keep your space ordered and your schedule under-booked.  Create a foundation with a soft place to land, a wide margin of error, and room to think and breathe…So you have the flexibility to explore the possibilities for happiness in each and every day.

~~~

Every day is a new day, and you’ll never be able to find happiness if you don’t move on.

Carrie Underwood

~~~

The History of Medicine:

Year 0 – Here, eat this root.

1000 – That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

1850 – That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

1940 – That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

1985 – That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

2018 – That antibiotic is ineffective. Here, eat this root.

~~~

Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.

~~~

Tips from Martha Stewart That Didn’t Work-

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

~~~

Being a woman is of special interest to aspiring male transsexuals.  To actual women it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

Fran Lebowitz

~~~

A German Shepherd went to a Western Union telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You could send another “Woof” for the same price.”

“But,” the dog replied, “That would make no sense at all.”

~~~

I always wanted to be a procrastinator… never got around to it.

~~~

Look what she has on her T-shirts this summer:

So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

God Made Us Sisters – Prozac Made Us Friends

At My Age, I’ve Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All . . .  I Just Can’t Remember It All

Don’t Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen

Get a New Car for Your Spouse. It’ll Be a Great Trade.

~~~

Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him.

Mark Twain

~~~

Two old ladies sat on a bench talking. One said to the other, “Good heavns! Who did your hair? It looks like a wig!” The second lady replied, “It is a wig.” “Really?” exclaimed the first lady, “You could never tell!”

~~~

Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.

Robertson Davies

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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