Ray's musings and humor

Archive for November, 2015

Let them know you care

“Fall seven times, stand up eight.”

Japanese Proverb

! encourage

Sometimes I think members of my generation forgot that we still have time to enhance our legacy through the successes of the people we leave behind. I hope we never become so self-centered that we don’t have time to let others know how much we value their efforts.

I constantly hear of kids who wonder if anyone even cares and yet I do and I hope you do too. No matter if it is a grandchild, great grandchild or a kid up the street let them know you appreciate them. Instead of going out of your way to avoid young folks say hello to them some time and if you can complement them. I have many acquaintances that set aside to time to spend with young people as tutors or as nurturers, those that do so love how they feel when they spend time with kids.

Here is a story by an unknown author that shows how we can make a difference in someone’s life if we provide them encouragement.

The Power of Encouragement

Dante Gabriel Rossetti, the famous 19th-century poet and artist, was once approached by an elderly man. The old fellow had some sketches and drawings that he wanted Rossetti to look at and tell him if they were any good, or if they at least showed potential talent.

Rossetti looked them over carefully. After the first few, he knew that they were worthless, showing not the least sign of artistic talent. But Rossetti was a kind man, and he told the elderly man as gently as possible that the pictures were without much value and showed little talent. He was sorry, but he could not lie to the man.

The visitor was disappointed, but seemed to respect Rossetti’s judgment. He then apologized for taking up Rossetti’s time, but would he just look at a few more drawings – these done by a young art student? Rossetti looked over the second batch of sketches and immediately became enthusiastic over the talent they revealed. “These,” he said, “oh, these are good. This young student has great talent. He should be given every help and encouragement in his career as an artist. He has a great future if he will work hard and stick to it.” Rossetti could see that the old fellow was deeply moved. “Who is this fine young artist?” he asked.

“Your son?”

“No,” said the old man sadly. “It is me – 40 years ago. If only I had heard your praise then! For you see, I got discouraged and gave up – too soon.”

~~~

“Encourage your kids because you have no idea what they are truly capable of.”

Unknown

~~~

She said:

Everyone thinks I’m psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.

Earth is full. Go home.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

~~~

A man never discloses his character so clearly as when he describes another’s.

~~~

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials.

“Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing,” she said.

“So would I,” replied the technician. “It’s a floor-cleaning machine.”

~~~

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

~~~

He Said:

  • Women don’t understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things *could* be.
  • If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day.
  • Women do not know anything about cars. “Oil-stick, oil doesn’t stick?”
  • Women have better restrooms. Ladies receive the royal treatment in the ladies room. Gents just get a large bowl to share.
  • The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
  • Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
  • Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
  • Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, ‘How do I look?’

~~~

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter, since nobody listens.

~~~

A city slicker stopped his large, expensive car on a country road and looked about in confusion. He noticed a young farm hand leaning on a fence and called to him, “Hey, you know how far it is to Shrewsbury?”

The farm hand thought about it and said, “Don’t know.”

“Well then, do you know the best way to get there?”

Again, the farm hand thought a bit and said, “Don’t know.”

“Look, can you just tell me where the nearest gas station is so I can pick up a map?”

“‘Fraid I don’t know that either.”

Frustrated, the man in the car snapped, “You don’t know much do you?”

To which the farm hand replied, “I’m not lost.”

~~~

Life is cheap. It’s the accessories that kill you.

~~~

Harry had just reached his 175th birthday last week. Surrounded by reporters, he was asked, “Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to live to be 175?”

Harry answered, “It was easy.  I just never argue with anyone.”

The reporter shot back, “That’s crazy.  It had to be something else –diet, meditation, or *something*.  Just not arguing won’t keep you alive for 175 years!”

The old fella stared hard at the reporter for several seconds.

Then he shrugged.  “Hmmm.  Maybe you’re right.”

~~~

“Every day, a new opportunity to decide where your next step will go is given to you. Your future will be determined by the accumulation of these daily decisions. You control your steps and therefore your destiny, so choose wisely.”

Kevin Ngo

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Ray’s Daily is going on a Thanksgiving Holiday

We are blessed in so many ways; many things we take for granted but we should stop and be thankful each and every day.”

Catherine Pulsifer

! alwaysbet

It is the day before my country’s national day of thanksgiving. It is a time when many families will come together in fellowship and appreciations accompanied by a feast where many will overeat. I hope those of us who have enough will stop to appreciate how good we have it when so many around us will go hungry. It is a time when we each should express gratitude for what we have and if possible share with others who have little.

If you can’t feed a needy stranger support those that do. In every community there are people like you and me that will provide a meal for the poor, the hungry and the homeless. If we can’t serve alongside them at least we can help by making a contribution that can be used to buy the makings for a dinner for someone in need. We do it by donating to the Salvation Army; it is a gift as much to ourselves as it is to those who might go hungry without our help.

Ray’s Daily will close down tomorrow so we can celebrate with family and friends. Friday we will rest and recover as our neighbors start shopping for bargains. The Friday after Thanksgiving is day where merchants offer huge discounts to those willing to battle other shoppers for the best deals. We will be back with you again next Monday.

Oh by the way, before I forget, you are on my list of reasons why I am thankful. Thanks for being there.

Thanksgiving is the appointed time

for focusing on the good in our lives.

In each of our days,

we can find small blessings,

but too often we overlook them,

choosing instead to spend our time

paying attention to problems.

We give our energy

to those who cause us trouble

instead of those who bring peace.

Starting now,

let’s be on the lookout

for the bits of pleasure in each hour,

and appreciate the people who

bring love and light to everyone

who is blessed to know them.

You are one of those people.

On Thanksgiving,

I’m thankful for you.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

By Joanna Fuch

~~~

“It is literally true, as the thankless say, that they have nothing to be thankful for. He who sits by the fire, thankless for the fire, is just as if he had no fire. Nothing is possessed save in appreciation, of which thankfulness is the indispensable ingredient. But a thankful heart hath a continual feast.”

W.J. Cameron

~~~

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil said to the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.”

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked,

“So, what’s the catch?”

~~~

If these walls could talk, they’d probably say, “No!  Not the nails again! Not the hammer!  NOT THE HAMMER!!!!”

Jennifer A. Ford

~~~

On New Year’s Eve, Judy stood up at the local pub and said that it was time to get ready.  At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The bartender was almost crushed to death.

~~~

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

Aesop

~~~

When a blonde finally got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it. Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked, how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, “…and upon rising the coffee is ready!” A few weeks later the blonde wife was back in the store and Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker. “Wonderful!” she replied, “However, there’s one thing I don’t understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?”

~~~

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

~~~

The elderly husband and wife, both a little hard of hearing, were watching golf on TV. The husband turned to his wife of some 50 years and said, “In my next life, I’m going to be rich and play all those beautiful golf courses with their great bars and dining and dancing areas.” The wife quickly responded, “How will you be able to manage all that with your bad legs?

You can barely walk!” “I said, ‘..in my next life…,'” the husband replied.

“Oh,” she said. I thought you said, ‘..with my next wife…'”

~~~

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”

Malcolm S. Forbes

~~~

An old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says, “Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her face, and I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Chicago and tell her,” and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” and calls her father immediately. “You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don’t call a lawyer, don’t file a paper, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and she hangs up.

The old man turns to his wife and says “Okay, they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own airfares.”

~~~

“Once you start practicing being grateful and thankful for things, people, and events, you may notice that you start to attract more positive things, people, and events in your life.”

Stephanie Conkle

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Life Back Then

Pay attention to the little things, because when you really miss the good old days, you miss the little things the most, like just laughing with someone special.

Author Unknown

! good-old-days

I am off this morning for a Pacemaker check and a visit with my favorite electrophysiologist to see how my cardiac electrical system is doing. I have been doing well in that department of late so I think we will ask each other what is going on and exchange Happy Thanksgiving greetings. He will continue to monitor my heart activity via my monthly internet transmission of my Pacemaker memory dump to the Medtronic’s computer in Minnesota.

Before I rush off I would like to send you something a Florida friend sent me years ago. Jack is no longer with us having passed some time ago but his good humor and kindness lives on in my memory and this piece is one of the reasons why.

OLDER THAN DIRT

“Hey ” one of my kids asked the other day, “What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?”

“We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,” I informed him. “All the food was slow.”

“C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?”

“It was a place called ‘at home,'” I explained. “Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.”

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone’s lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called “pizza pie.” When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.

We didn’t have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather’s Ford. He called it a “machine.” I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was. All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?

~~~

There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of heroes and villains, the people you can bravo or hiss. There was a truth to them that all the slick credulity of today cannot touch.

Bette Davis

~~~

Boy is this true or what?

When a man needs a suit, he and his wife go to the store. The salesman and the wife make selections from the rack. The husband tries them on. The wife and the salesman discuss the fit, remarking on the fullness, thinness or any asymmetry of the husband’s body. The jacket and pants are pulled, tucked, pleated and bunched in assessing the need for tailoring.

Once a suit is chosen, the wife and the store’s tailor repeat the fitting procedure and then negotiate a date when the suit will be ready.

On leaving the store, the husband may talk if he wishes.

~~~

To belittle is to be little.

~~~

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. “Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?” he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered.

“All right, I’m gonna have another beer, and if my hoss ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what i dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!” Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled-up and started riding out of town.

The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say pardner, before you go… what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

~~~

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

About 30 pounds.

~~~

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism.

Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.

“A penny for your thoughts,” she said.

“It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50.”

~~~

“There are a few moments in your life when you are truly and completely happy, and you remember to give thanks. Even as it happens you are nostalgic for the moment, you are tucking it away in your scrapbook.”

David Benioff

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Slower is not all that bad

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

Sophia Loren

! Aging

I am pleased to report I made it through another weekend. When you get up in years it isn’t as easy to do what you always did so each day can be an adventure. A weekend that does not include the physical challenges associated with the elderly is a blessing.

I am not complaining since I am finding the golden years to have a lot to offer. Not the least of which is the view of what goes in in the world from an easy chair. I just wish there was less global strife and fewer folks who suffer. I am lucky that so many people provide me opportunities to stay busy and mentally active. I still find it hard to believe that I am as old as my body keeps reminding me that I am.

I find aging to be a process that requires some adjustments to get the most out of the twilight years. Here are some tips on how to do it from the FitBuff blog.

Tips for Aging Gracefully

Father Time waits for no one. Like it or not, we are all getting older with every passing second. But, before you reach for your favorite “rainy day” pills, aging gracefully is very possible.

Sure, it requires a little extra work and preparation on your part, but so does anything else worth achieving. Maybe you’re a rock star who wants to party hard and go out in a blaze of youthful glory.

Now, fast forward 10, 25, or 50 years. You made it. You’re still alive. Your tattoos are barely legible on your sagging, wrinkle-ridden skin. And your retirement-home buddies aren’t interested in your wild stories of “The Burning Man,” because they can barely hear you as you struggle to speak between your smoking-induced coughs. Don’t you wish you had done a few things differently?

Aging gracefully certainly doesn’t mean giving up on a fun and adventurous lifestyle. It means doing things now that will allow you to continue that fun and adventurous lifestyle well into your youthful old age.

10 Tips for Aging Gracefully

1.Eliminate Self Destructive Behaviors

2.Eat Properly

3.Exercise

4.Manage Stress

5.Think Young

6.Get Rest

7.Practice Good Hygiene

8.Prudent Supplementation

9.Proactive Living

10.Balance

~~~

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

Mark Twain

~~~

A distinguished rabbi and a friend were playing golf. It was a very close match, and at the last hole the two were only one stroke apart. The rabbi teed up, addressed the ball, and swung his driver with great force…slicing the ball deep into the woods.

The rabbi glared, and bit his lip while his face turned crimson, but said nothing. His opponent looked at him for a moment and then remarked, “Rabbi, that is the most profane silence I have ever heard.”

~~~

He said, “My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.”

~~~

The blonde had been married about a year when one day she came running up to her husband jumping for joy. Not knowing how to react, the husband started jumping up and down along with her. “Why are we so happy?” he asked.

“Honey, I have some really great news for you!” She said. “Great!” he said, “Tell me what you’re so happy about.”

She stopped jumping and was breathless from all the jumping up and down. “I’m pregnant!” she gasped.

The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for awhile. He grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling her how wonderful it was, and that he couldn’t be happier.

Then she said “Oh, honey there’s more!”

“What do you mean more?”, he asked.

“Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!”

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.

“It was easy” she said, “I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!”

~~~

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?

Customer: What other colors do you have?

~~~

A wee guy was sitting at a bar staring at his drink for ages. Suddenly, a big biker came along, snatched his glass, guzzled down the contents and laughed, “Hah! So what you gonna do about that, little man?”

“Nothing,” sighed the little guy despondently. “You see, today has been the worst day of my life. This morning I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss was furious and so he sacked me. I cleared my desk, went to my car, only to discover that it wasn’t there – somebody had stolen it. So I got a taxi home, but when it came to paying the driver I realized I’d forgotten my wallet. I then went into my house and I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I left home and came to this bar. And just when I was thinking about ending it all, you came along and drank my poison…”

~~~

If you want to make peace, you don’t talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.

Moshe Dayan

~~~

It takes a really tall tale to win the annual Burlington, Wis., Liars Club Contest.  So tip your hat to Gordon Zwicky, because he’s a worthy champion. A neighbor, said Zwicky, told him and his wife Dorothy that they’d be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way.  But they’d driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read, “Clean Restrooms Ahead.”

Two months later, they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels, and three cases of toilet-bowl cleaner.

Total restrooms cleaned:  450.

~~~

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent – that is to triumph over old age.

Thomas Bailey Aldrich

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Don’t Hide

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.

Elinor Smith

! Go left

One of the highlights of my week is an early morning meeting I often have with a thoughtful and somewhat philosophical friend. The other morning we talked about the realities of disappointment and our ability to work our way out of the distress that comes from what appears to be abandonment by someone else.

Many of us truly relish the lives we live and the folks who help make them as good as they are. In many cases our days are filled with the moments we share and we become hooked on the pleasure that comes from having a strong relationship. But far too often relationships end, sometimes due to misunderstanding, other times because one or the other feels that the relationship has run its course, but no matter the reason the pain is real.

The tough part is dealing with it and then moving on. The thing my friend suggested was that such a loss is not easy to understand, is the pain due to the feeling of rejection or is it due to the vacuum left in our life. Whatever the case the solution is not lingering in despair or remorse but in venturing in to new territories. The worse thing we may do is to look for a clone of the person we lost, thinking that only someone like that can bring happiness, when more often than not it was the companionship that was more important than the previous friends attributes.

Neither is it realistic to think one can find another just waiting to fill their day with what we want. What is realistic is the willingness to make a stranger an acquaintance and possibly even a friend. It is the willingness to see and experience new things.

If we trust ourselves, if we are open and friendly it is amazing the things we will find as we walk a new path, things I know we will never find if we spend our time mourning the changes in our lives. If you are comfortable hiding from the world living with disappointment, burn your mental hideout down and find a new place for your thoughts.

Laurah Lynn wrote:

As the light shines through my window I awaken.

I am reminded once more that today is another day stolen from borrowed time.

Today I will live and live to will. I will be thankful for all I love and all I have.

Every breath taken in shall be full as I take in the world around me.

I will push away the pain, hide my tears and sorrow and drown out all that threatens my very being.

Today I will climb that rock and sit on top staring and soaking in the beauty of nature, of life.

I will let the wind whisper in my ears and flow through me filling my every sense, breathing life once more into my soul.

Just for today I shall truly live, making the best of everything, because I know as the sun sets and sleeps, so shall I.

I will be there once more to watch the last ray of the sun disappear, knowing that one day it may never awaken me.

Just for today I will live.

~~~

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

George Eliot

~~~

The waiter at a Jewish Deli serves his customer a whitefish. As he’s walking away he overhears his customer talking to the fish. Soon the customer is deep in conversation with his lunch. “So what’s the deal here,” says the waiter. “You plan on eating it or taking it home and marrying it?

“We’re just schmoozing,” says the customer. “Turns out the fish is from Great Neck Bay. I used to live there.  So I was asking him how things are back in Great Neck.

“Sure, so what did he say?” asked the waiter.

“He said, ‘How should I know? I ain’t been there in years!

~~~

I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: “CHECKOUT TIME IS 18.”

~~~

It’s not my place to run the train

The whistle I cannot blow

It’s not my place to say how far

The train is allowed to go

It’s not my place to shoot off steam

Nor even clang the bell

But let the damn thing

Jump the track

And see who catches hell!!!

~~~

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Maryon Pearson

~~~

Strategies For Making People Fall In Love With You:

  • “Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” — Del, age 6
  • “Shake your hips and hope for the best.” — Camille, age 9
  • “Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs…and don’t worry if their parents are right there.” — Manuel, age 8
  • “Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” — Alonzo, age 9
  • “One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” — Bart, age 9

~~~

Husband: Now that we are married, perhaps I can point out a few of your defects. Wife: Don’t bother, dear, I know all about them.  It’s those defects that kept me from getting a better man than you.

~~~

“My wife is very hard to please.”

“But she wasn’t always that way.”

“How do you know?”

“Why, she married you, didn’t she?”

~~~

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

~~~

The boyfriend said, “We’re going to have a GREAT time Saturday. I’ve gotten three tickets for the big game.” “Why do we need three ?” asked the girl. “They’re for your Father, Mother, and kid sister.” he replied.

~~~

Today I will close the door to the past and open the new door to the future with my head held high to a new chapter in my life!

Nishan Panwar

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Let the happiness begin

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”

John Lennon

! ChooseToBeHappy

OK I have had enough of life in the slow lane with the other folks who are under the weather. It is time for me to work my way back out into the sunshine leaving Mopesville behind. Yes I know there is no such word but it is where I have laid around with the blahs that have accompanied my recent infirmities.

So I am off to my meetings this morning, then lunch with a friend, followed by time to spend just enjoying myself.

If I am going to invest in my happiness there is no time for woes. What about you? Want to be happier? If you would this might help.

10 Secrets Happy People Know

by Cate Scolnik

It’s OK To Be Sad

You don’t have to be happy all the time, or even every day. Happy people know that it’s OK not to be happy some days. It’s important to process whatever feelings we have – sadness, anger, frustration or surprise.  When bad things happen, as they do to all of us, be gentle on yourself. The contrast of negative emotions can be beneficial, because they remind us how wonderful happiness is.

Being Happy Takes Work

There are things that we can do to increase our happiness every day, but they take some effort. Things like eating well, exercising, and getting plenty of rest help keep our bodies healthy. Searching out people and entertainment that makes you laugh or feel good, nurtures your soul. Taking the effort to eat right and surround yourself with good people pays off. You feel good to your core.

Self-Appreciation Is Mandatory

You need to learn to love and appreciate yourself, just the way you are. You are just as interesting, unique and remarkable as anyone else. Sometimes it’s hard to see our own best qualities. Or if we see them, we don’t always value them. So make a list of the things you love most about yourself, and remind yourself of these qualities regularly.

People Must Be a Priority

We all need to feel loved and appreciated, and spending time with the people closest to us fosters warm feelings. Human beings have always been pack animals – we need to connect with people. When we’re just hanging out, enjoying each other’s company, we’re sending and receiving subtle messages of love and appreciation. Strong relationships help us survive the tough times, as well as celebrating the good times.

Comparisons Are Futile

Comparing yourself to someone else is always going to end in tears. It doesn’t matter if you compare body shape, bank balances, or friends. There’s always going to be people both ahead of you, and behind you, on any scale. The only person you have to satisfy is yourself. Try to consider the things that people might envy you for, so you can value those things too.

Sometimes Memories Surface

Everyone has some unpleasant memories. They’re part of life, and trying to suppress them is futile. When we work through the pain and learn to accept the past we’re able to close the door gently on those ‘rooms’ in our mind. We can choose to visit those rooms if and when we feel inclined. But we can also gently close them off, so that we can grow and heal. Your memories are part of you, so carry them with grace.

Over Analysis Is Your Enemy

We’re all capable of analyzing a situation to death. Wondering whether someone else’s actions have deeper meanings than they do, or endlessly turning things over in our mind. It’s fine to think about situations, and establish what you can learn from them. But sometimes our mind gets a little obsessed and repeatedly churns things over, on an endless, self-flagellating loop. When this happens think, Thanks Mind, and move on to other things.

Attitude Can Be Chosen

Choosing your attitude is easier said than done. I never used to believe it was possible. But it is.

The key is to change can’t to can. Whenever you find yourself thinking that you can’t do something, it’s important to stop and force yourself to think about what you can do. Try thinking, ‘If someone could solve this, how would they do it?” Distancing yourself from the problem in this way opens up new ideas, and pretty soon you’ll be capable of anything.

Living Happens Now

Don’t put off living. We tell ourselves we’ll be happy when the kids are older, or when we get the next pay rise, or when we get a new job. But when we get those things we put off being happy until we achieve the next great milestone. Happy people live now. They feel now. They love now. This doesn’t mean they don’t have goals, but they appreciate what they have now. No one knows how many tomorrows they’ll have, so make sure you live today.

Happiness Is Not For Sale

Sometime we don’t realize that all those little ‘rewards’ we buy ourselves are really a way of compensating for a lack of satisfaction in some aspect of our lives. If you’re living for your next holiday, or wondering why the latest tech toys don’t make you happy, it might be time to look a little deeper. Maybe you’re trying to buy yourself some happiness, instead of addressing a major issue in your life. Maybe – only you will know.

~~~

The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.

James M. Barri

~~~

Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model INSIDE her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. It worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds!

~~~

I am definitely going to take a course on time management… just as soon as I can work it into my schedule.

Louis E. Boone

~~~

The showers in my daughter’s dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, “Flushing!” each time they flushed the toilets. During one of my daughter’s visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while.  I was explaining how my daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn’t tell me all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly we heard my daughter call out from the bathroom, “Flushing!”

“Wow!” said my friend, “How much more do you want to know?”

~~~

“Mr. and Mrs. Marvin Rosenbloom are pleased to announce the birth of their son, Dr. Jonathan Rosenbloom.”

~~~

A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!”

“Oh, that’s okay,” said the blonde from the witness stand.”I don’t mind answering the question.”

“I object!” the defense said again.

“No, really,” said the blonde. “I’ll answer.”

The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defence to object.”

So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

The blonde replied brightly, “I don’t know.”

~~~

Don’t follow in my footsteps, because I run into a lot of walls.

~~~

A college student wrote a letter home, “Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy.I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels.I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.

Your son, Marvin.

P.S.I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back. But it was too late.”

A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said, “Your prayers were answered.Your letter never came!”

~~~

When you finally allow yourself to trust joy and embrace it, you will find you dance with everything.

Emanuel

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Ray’s Back

“Remember that guy that gave up? Neither does anyone else.”

! DePauw goal

Hi everybody I am back. My oral surgery went well, my bout with apparent food poisoning not so well, but I am getting back and that is good.

 

The best medicine that I have received in the last few days was learning that my grandson Justin, a freshman at DePauw University, made the winning shot in the shoot out that followed two overtime periods in their NCAA soccer tournament. This win puts DePauw in the sweet 16 round for the first time in the school’s history. That’s him in today’s picture.

 

Now it is time for me to restart my health regimen. My cruise sailed without me, but my spine is less painful, my oral surgery went well so it is back to the gym and daily exercise. My Doc’s have Okayed a slow start while I build back. We all have interruptions in our lives over the years the secret is not to let them stop you. Here is a short poem that can serve us all well

 

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit!

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure has turned about,

When they might have won had they stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,

You may succeed with another blow!

Often the goal is nearer than It seems to a faint and faltering one,

Often the struggler has given up

When they might have captured the victor’s cup.

And they learned too late, when the night slipped down,

How close they were to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint to the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far.

So stick to the task when you’re hardest hit,

It’s when things seem the worst, that you must not quit!

            Author Unknown

~~~

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

Albert Einstein

~~~

While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child’s voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child’s words. When I spotted a boy perched on a rock, I realized why his words had made no sense: He was repeating the alphabet.

“Why are you saying your ABC’s so many times?” I asked him.

The child replied, “I’m saying my prayers.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Prayers? All I hear is the alphabet.”

Patiently the child explained, “Well, I don’t know all the words, so I give God the letters. He knows what I’m trying to say.”

~~~

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

~~~

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.” The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.

~~~

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “up over”?

~~~

Helen and Amanda were discussing their busy schedules.

Helen said, “Amanda, I must ask you something. Every day I feel incredibly run down and tired. And yet, I see you looking as fresh as a rose. I have to know: what’s your secret?”

“My secret? Every morning, without fail, I wake up at six o’clock sharp.”

“You wake up at six o’clock?”

“Yes, and then I look at the clock, see what time it is, and go back to sleep for another four hours.”

~~~

I had a linguistics professor who said that it’s man’s ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there’s one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren’t afraid of vacuum cleaners.

Jeff Stilson

~~~

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.

She read, “…And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, “Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'” The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that man said?”

One little boy raised his hand and said, “I think he said, “‘Holy Crap! A talking pig!'”

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

~~~

A boy becomes an adult three years before his parents think he does and about two years after he thinks he does.

Lewis B. Hershey

~~~

A group of junior-level executives were participating in a management training program. The seminar leader pounded home his point about the need to make decisions and take action on those decisions.

“For instance,” he said, “if you had five frogs on a log and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would you have left on the log?”

The answer from the group was unanimous, “Two.”

“Wrong,” replied the speaker. “There would still be five, because there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping.”

~~~

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”

Earl Nightingale

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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