Ray's musings and humor

Archive for June, 2012

Wanna join our happiness club?

“If I keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come.”

Chinese Proverb

 

As you know I have been undergoing a few late in life changes. Because of aging and its occasionally resulting infirmities I sometimes have to temporally make some life style adjustments; other changes are the result of my looking for and finding life enhancement opportunities.

What I have discovered recently is that one often leads into the other. My most recent example was a few months of heart problems that required my participation in a cardiac rehab program. I have enjoyed a lot of things in life but exercise was never one of them until now. I felt so much better participating in a structured cardiac program that I enrolled in my local YMCA’s wellness program.

No one is more surprised than I am that I look forward to showing up at 5 AM each weekday morning to spend a half hour or more doing cardiac and/or strength exercises. But as often happens I also made a new friend and we try to take a little time each day talking about the good and bad things going on in our lives. A conversation the other day reminded me how some people are so busy being unhappy that they leave little time to be happy. Since I know it does not have to be that way I looked for some tips to offer those who want to be happy a process that can add joy into their lives. Here is one of the things I found on the net that I liked and feel is worth sharing you my special friends.

 

How to find happiness in life

The key to happiness is not difficult although it does seem to elude so many people. Here are my thoughts on happiness. “If you want to be happy then the recipe is simple…”

Step One – Plan For It

Too many people expect to win happiness in the lottery of life. Happiness is not a prize, it is a goal. Happiness does not just happen, it must be welcomed. If you do not expect and look for happiness then you most likely are missing opportunities to be happy every day. Make a life plan for your own happiness. What do you want? What will make you happy? Make a list, check it twice, and then move on to the next step.

Step Two – Let It Happen

Many people are afraid to be happy. They are unwilling to take risks or even make choices because all they can think about is the potential for loss. That is a perfect recipe for unhappiness. If you are unable to put yourself in the way of happiness then you will miss it every time. Take a chance or make a choice. What is the worst that can happen? If you don’t risk then you lose by default. If you risk then at least you have a chance at success.

Step Three – Open Yourself To It

The unhappy people that I know are usually unhappy for two reasons. One group believes they do not deserve happiness and the other group actually undermines their happiness by closing themselves off.

Everyone deserves to be happy and it makes me so sad when I see people settle for anything less.

It is bad enough to think you do not deserve happiness, but to actually refuse to allow yourself to be happy is definitely worse in my book. It is horribly destructive and obviously self-perpetuating, but some of these unhappy people, I believe, are to blame for the unhappiness of others – or at least contribute to it.

Step Four – Wave Good-bye To Your Troubles

One of the most frustrating things for me is when someone is unhappy about something specific – and yet they refuse to make a change to do away with the problem. Your job makes you unhappy? Get a new one! Your husband makes you unhappy? Work on your relationship? Your child makes you unhappy? Correct their behavior.

I know it is not always that simple but even in the most desperate situations there is some element that is subject to change. Focus on that one area and you might find the whole picture changes. If you surrender to your unhappiness then it will take over, but fighting it gives you the potential to win your own happiness and change your life. I know which path I’ll choose every day. In the end you and you alone have the power over your own happiness. You choose to be happy or to be unhappy. Which will you choose?

~~~

“Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It’s a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don’t have. It’s so simple yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend.”

Bits and Pieces

~~~

She said, you know it’s a bad date when:

You order a Double Whopper and he says, “Hey, my name ain’t Rockefeller, honey!”

You’ve never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.

He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.

Your dinner reservations are under, “Loser, party of 2.”

He’s especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.

He’s been on Geraldo once and Jerry Springer, twice.

~~~

She also said, “My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t.”

~~~

He said, you know you’re on a bad date when:

You catch her giving her phone number to the guy cleaning your windshield.

She lunges at you several times with a steak knife.

She keeps calling you “Bachelor Number Two.”

“Whoa! Is it 8:15 already?”

She transitions the conversation by saying, “I’ve said enough about me. What do you think about me?”

~~~

“Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.”

Mark Twain

~~~

A woman went to a doctor’s office.  She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.  An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained.

The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, “What’s the matter with you?  Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was *pregnant*?”

The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.  “Cured her hiccups though, didn’t I?

~~~

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”

John Lennon

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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I hope you enjoy it as much as I do

Be humble, be big in mind and soul, be kindly; you will like yourself that way and so will other people.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

I am off to my workout at 4:45 this morning and then I have meetings scheduled up until early afternoon. I got worn out just reporting that to you so in order to conserve energy I am again dipping in to the Ray’s Daily morgue to see what I can send you from a year gone by.

Ray’s Daily first published on June 28, 2005

Many of you are retired; others will be in the not too distant future. I hope each of you finds the great benefits that come from the freedom retirement brings. We no longer have to prove anything to anyone. We don’t have to lead, manage, run faster, jump higher, or keep up with the Joneses. What I like best is that we get to spend time with people, people that we never would have met in our previous life.

I honestly think I get as much, if not more prestige, in my own eyes from cooking pancakes with my friend Nancy at a charity run then I would if I was part of some high visibility project. Each day I am lucky enough spend time with real people in friendly settings. Yesterday I spent time with a friend as we discussed his plans for a possible move to New York; today I will have lunch with a friend who has a wealth of knowledge about the world around us who always gives me great pleasure as we discuss the issues of the day, and tomorrow will be more of the same.

Sure there are medals we could yet win, more plaques and awards that we could shoot for, and more recognition that could be acquired, however I would much rather spend time enjoying the people I meet. When all is said and done the greatest rewards in life comes from the friends who say “thanks, I am so glad I know you.” And that comes from not just stopping to smell the roses, but stopping long enough to get to know someone and seeing all they have to offer. It may be your mailman, a neighbor, waitress, or someone you meet on a plane, each of them is an opportunity to make a new friend. It is so easy, just take a sincere interest in those you meet and let them know you appreciate all they do.

~~~

Three keys to more abundant living: caring about others, daring for others, sharing with others.

William A. Ward

~~~

There was this hunter who was proud of his retriever because the dog could walk on top of the lake water. No one believed it was true, however, so he invited a friend to witness the dog’s ability. They get into the hunter’s boat and head out on the lake. As the hunter shot a duck over the lake, the retriever jumped out of the boat, walked over the water, and brought the duck back. The friend observed this, but said nothing.

A little later on, the hunter shoots down a second duck, and just like the first time, the dog jumps out of the boat, walks on top of the water, and brings the duck back to the boat. The friend still doesn’t comment. After he shoots down a third duck and the same performance is repeated by the retriever, the hunter becomes quite annoyed over his friend’s sillence. So he asks,

“Didn’t you notice anything when I shot down those ducks?”

His friend says, “Yeah. That fool dog of your’s can’t swim!”

~~~

I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

On a NW Airways flight from Atlanta, GA.  a middle-aged, well-off lady has found herself sitting next to a Jewish man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating.

“What seems to be the problem Madam?” asked the attendant.

“You’ve sat me next to a Jew!! I can’t possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!”

“Please calm down Madam.” the stewardess replied. “The flight is very full today, but I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll go and check to see if we have any seats available in club or first class.”

The woman shoots a snooty look at the snubbed Jewish man beside her (not to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady, who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and self satisfied grin.

“Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I’ve spoken to the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one seat in first class.”

Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues…”It is most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit next to such an obnoxious person.” With which, she turned to the Jewish man sitting next to her, and said: “So if you’d like to get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you…”

At this point, the surrounding passengers stood and gave a standing ovation while the Jewish man walks up to the front of the plane.

~~~

“It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.”

Pierre Beaumarchais

~~~

A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, “Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?” there was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, “Put down yes.”

~~~

“Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?”

Steven Wright

~~~

Past the beggar and the suffering walked he who asks, “Why, oh god, do you not do something for these people?

To which god replied, “I did do something, I made you.”

Old Sufi saying

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Thank you Margot, we are all better because of you

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

William James

 

Yesterday I learned that one of our cities leading citizens passed away. Her passing is a great loss and especially significant to me as it was her mother who started our cities major leadership development program more than 35 years ago and I was fortunate to be selected to participate in its first class. Much that has been good in my life has been the result of my participation in that first program.

Fortunately the family of the founder of the leadership series continued the tradition for all the years since the passing of the family matriarch and now the daughter who contributed so much to hundreds of our cities finest citizens has left us. Thankfully the legacy left by her and her mother will continue well into the future led by the next generation.

Our city owes a lot to the vision of these fine women and their presence will endure through the contribution of the many leaders who got their start because someone cared enough to recognize their potential. Indianapolis is great place to live and it is so not only because of its institutions and monuments but also because of the gift it has been given by Edna Lacy (a dear friend) and her daughter Margot Lacy Eccles and the Lacy Family.

 

So goodbye Margot and thank you for all you have given to all of us, you did well.

~~~

What makes greatness is starting something that lives after you.

Ralph Sockman

~~~

As you know I have been publishing the daily for more than eleven years now and I wonder if I would have even started if I had not been changed by the Lacy leadership program. With your permission I am going reprint something I offered seven years ago since it is consistent with the value of my returning once in a while to reaffirm my “Lacy Leadership” principles. Here is what I wrote

 

I attended a lecture today that helped me again realize that I miss more than I need to and what I miss is often vital to my understanding what I am seeing. I am concerned that my curiosity may have waned over the years. It seems like I often stop looking too soon and miss the nuance of what I am seeing.

I wonder if it is laziness or pride that drives me to draw conclusions at the first recognition of what I am seeing. I hope not, as being first with an answer is not how score should be kept, it is kept on the accuracy of what we see. Too often the visual assumption that I may have made has been based on how what I am seeing is similar to what I have seen before. What I report may be good enough most of the time but often it is less than it might be as I have missed the details. And like they say “The Devil Is in the Details,” and the details may change the picture dramatically and with a completely different perception than what I had when I quit looking too soon.

 I know this probably sounds convoluted but look at it this way, when we look at something there is a surface image in the foreground that often dominates when seen it is seen only as a surface dimension, but often there is background that takes us to a deeper depth of understanding. Even without background there is often more to see by seeing all of the picture elements and not just the primary subject. Do things change if we see a pretty girl alongside a table with a cigarette burning in an ashtray and than see the same girl with only a perfect rose on that very same table.

Einstein said intellectual growth should continue throughout life. I wonder if that is possible if we let our curiosity whither, sacrificed because of our impatience and intellectual laziness. This does not apply to you of course, just to me and a few others.

~~~

The cure for boredom is curiosity.

There is no cure for curiosity.

Dorothy Parker

~~~

A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, “Hi, Daddy!” and she began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work.

When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk she took the receiver and said, “Hi, hon.”

“Thank God, lady,” the voice on the other end replied. “I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here!”

~~~

“The person who would like to make his dreams come true must stay awake.”

Richard Wheeler

~~~

Jack Benny and George Burns became friends when both were young performers working their way up through the vaudeville circuit and they remained friends until Benny died. One day, they were lunching at a Hollywood restaurant, and Benny was wrestling with the problem of whether or not to butter his bread. “I like butter on my bread,” he said. “But my diet strictly forbids butter. Maybe I should call Mary and ask her what to do.”

“Jack,” Burns said, “don’t be ridiculous. You’re a grown man. You should be able to decide, without your wife’s help, whether or not to butter your own bread.”

“You’re right,” Benny said. “I’ll just have the butter, that’s all.”

When the waiter arrived with the check, Burns pointed to Benny and said, “He’s paying.”

“What?” Benny said. “Why should I have to pay the whole bill?”

“Because if you don’t,” Burns said, “I’ll tell Mary about the butter.”

~~~

I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

What do you see?

The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.

Robertson Davies

 

The story I am sharing with you today got me thinking about many of the people I know. There are some who just seem to be lucky and they are liked by almost everyone. When you meet them they almost glow. Invariably they show interest in the folks around them, never failing to wish them well and when they can they do something to brighten someone else’s day. I just love being around them for it is hard to feel bad when you are with someone who obviously enjoys life no matter what obstacles they find along the way.

Unfortunately I also know many who just seem to always be troubled. They are quick to find fault and seem to blame everyone but themselves for their unhappiness. To tell the truth as much as I feel their pain I often find it too depressing to hang around them too long.

What is amazing is both of these people walk the same streets, see the same people and suffer the same setbacks. The difference of course is how they face life. I still believe if you expect good things you usually will find them, people who do are acutely aware of the positive side of life and recognize good when they see it. The other folks seem to be so busy searching for expected flaws that they overlook the seeds of happiness that exist all around them.

So my friends is our good life good luck or is it the result of who we chose to be. I have two close friends who will tell me about a movie, restaurant or event. One invariably starts off what she liked while the other always says things like “it was alright but” and they both are reporting on the same thing. Here is the story:

 

Perception is everything. Have you examined yours lately?

The Two Travelers and the Farmer

A traveler came upon an old farmer hoeing in his field beside the road. Eager to rest his feet, the wanderer hailed the countryman, who seemed happy enough to straighten his back and talk for a moment.

“What sort of people live in the next town?” asked the stranger.

“What were the people like where you’ve come from?” replied the farmer, answering the question with another question.

“They were a bad lot. Troublemakers all, and lazy too. The most selfish people in the world, and not a one of them to be trusted. I’m happy to be leaving the scoundrels.”

“Is that so?” replied the old farmer. “Well, I’m afraid that you’ll find the same sort in the next town.

Disappointed, the traveler trudged on his way, and the farmer returned to his work.

Sometime later another stranger, coming from the same direction, hailed the farmer, and they stopped to talk. “What sort of people live in the next town?” he asked.

“What were the people like where you’ve come from?” replied the farmer once again.

“They were the best people in the world. Hardworking, honest, and friendly. I’m sorry to be leaving them.”

“Fear not,” said the farmer. “You’ll find the same sort in the next town.”

~~~

What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing; it also depends on what sort of person you are.

C.S. Lewis

~~~

Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.

Wife: I think he did, I’ve still got mine with me!

~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.  His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, “That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!”

~~~

You’re getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

~~~

A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, “Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?”

To which Jack replied, “The holes are numbered!”

~~~

Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

~~~

An artist was traveling in New Hampshire in search of a scenic spot for a vacation. He stopped in a roadside store and asked a farmer about the place.

“Is there any interesting scenery up your way?” he asked.

“Not much,” the farmer said. “Across the road you can see our neighbor’s barn, but beyond that you can’t see anything but mountains for 30 miles!”

~~~

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.

Gilda Radner

~~~

One day a farmer died.  His elderly widow was always bedridden and very depressed.  Their son tried everything he could think of to cheer her up but nothing worked.   He spoke to the doctor and was told a shot of whiskey would perk her up some and should be given to her nightly. This would make it easier for her to sleep at night and should make her better humored each day that passed.

But the son knew his mother didn’t believe in liquor. So the doctor told him to put it in her food or drink. So the boy went home and put the whiskey in her milk. That night she slept like a baby and woke up feeling wonderful.  Each evening she had her shot of whiskey and milk and woke the following morning feeling more and more cheerful.

When the boy suggested one day that they sell the farm and move closer to the city, his mother said, “Son, you can do anything you want to, but DON’T SELL THAT COW!”

~~~

“If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn’t have to advertise them.”

Will Rogers

~~~

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida.  Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami.

“Excuse me,” she said to the manager.  “My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks.”

“I’m awfully sorry,” he replied, “but all of our rooms are occupied.” Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out.

“What luck,” said Mrs. Goldstein.  “Now there’s a room.”

“Not so fast, Madam.  I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed.”

“Jewish?  Who’s Jewish?  I happen to be Catholic.”

“I find that hard to believe.  Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?”

“Jesus, Son of Mary.”

“Where was he born?”

“In a stable.”

“And why was he born in a stable?”

“Because… a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!”

~~~

“In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death.”

Anne Frank

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

We, not me!

“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction”

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The other day as I was driving home from a meeting with a friend I thought about the discussion we had. As I reviewed what had gone on in my mind I realized that I was participating from a place that focused on me. The more I thought about it I realized how much better it would have been if I would of thought about us before I thought about me.

As you know I view my friends as being some of my most precious gifts. I get great pleasure in their accomplishments and successes. I often get to share their joy as well as their tears. I have learned that it always sweeter when we share the good things in our lives so I wonder how often I might have missed an opportunity for mutual enjoyment because I never got past the “what’s in it for me” moment.

Wow, why has it taken me so long to see that if I always put “us” first when I am thinking about choices and opportunities I do two things. First I get to examine the possibilities of what more we might accomplish together while we enjoy doing it. Secondly I get the chance to make sure that I am not about to do something thoughtless that would be a problem for someone else. If I always think of “we” first I still can move to “me” and decide not to move ahead.

I have learned that nurturing friendships provides me a great platform from which we can join together as we face the world. Here are some tips to help take advantage of our “we” opportunities that I stole from the internet.

 

Accept others – A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.

Be a good listener – Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer. Ed Cunningham

Enrich others’ life – Friendship is a treasured gift, and every time I talk with you I feel as if I’m getting richer and richer.

Understand first – Everyone looks at life through his own lens. Often we expect others to see life through the same lens as ours, but that will create a lot of problems. A true friend is someone who is willing to look through other people’s lenses first. He tries to understand why they think and act that way.

Find common ground – Finding common ground helps you connect with new friends quickly. The common ground allows you to talk to others about something they are interested in and thereby build relationships with them.

Be interested – If you want to be interesting you should first be interested. Be curious. Cultivate interest about many things. If you do that, you can genuinely be enthusiastic when people talk to you about something. People will feel appreciated and love to be around you.

Take initiative to help – If you treat others as good and trustworthy people, they will also treat you likewise. Believe in your heart that people are naturally good, even when they seem to be the opposite. People will feel how you believe in them and they will be touched by your sincerity.

Commend others – People need appreciation. They need to know that you appreciate them. Often we are quick to criticize but slow to commend. Let’s make it the opposite. Sincerely commend them when they do something right. Even better, commend them publicly.

See the positive side of others – A true friend knows you good enough to see your weaknesses but he still believes in your potential. To become a true friend, you should believe that your friends are good on the inside no matter how bad their outward appearance might be. It’s by this belief that you can sincerely encourage them.

~~~

“What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do. The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

Some more answering machine favorites:

  • “I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember.  I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.  Thanks.”
  • “Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.   We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.”
  • “You know what I hate about answering machine messages?  They go on and on and on and on, wasting your time.   I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.”   That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short.  I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me…”
  • “Hello, this is Douglas.  I’m not home right now, but I can take a message.  Hang on a second while I get a pencil.”  (background noise –open a drawer and shuffle stuff around)  “Okay, what would you like me to tell me?”

~~~

When my grown children complain about the way they were raised, I always tell them that we did the best we could with what we had to work with.

~~~

Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn’t mind letting her boyfriend know it, too. “A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry,” she told him.

“Really?” asked the boyfriend, “And just how many men are you intending to marry?”

~~~

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re in need of improvement.

~~~

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”

“Oh, I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”

“That’s fine. Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. That’s cruelty to animals. Have your husband take care of that right away!”

Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop.  “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?” asked the husband.

“He said the reflector is broken,” replied the Amish lady.

“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?” asked the husband.

The wife replied, “I’m not sure, Jacob . . . Something about the emergency brake.”

~~~

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I’m also not blonde.

Dolly Parton

~~~

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

“We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend.

“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”

“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, there are three doctors there already!”

 

~~~

“You may not remember the time you let me go first.

Or the time you dropped back to tell me it wasn’t that far to go.

Or the time you waited at the crossroads for me to catch up.

You may not remember any of those, but I do and this is what I have to say to you:

Today, no matter what it takes, we ride home together.”

Brian Andreas

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I was inspired

Begin doing what you want to do now.  We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake.

Marie Ray

 

I had a super morning yesterday. I attended a workshop for retirees who are dedicated to making the best of the years ahead. It was great to hear these good people excitedly share how they have added meaning to what for some is the best years of their lives.

One of the most significant things I heard from them was how important it is to just get out and do things. They understand that as their openness to new things takes them to new places they sometimes stumble and discover that they would rather do something else, but the great thing is they know that is OK. Once we understand that we are free to be ourselves and that we really don’t have to take our selves too seriously by trying to impress others magic things can happen. Many reported that they did things they never thought they would or even in some cases thought they could.

A gal who was part of my discussion group talked about the joy of being able to do whatever she wanted to do these days. When she left the business world she got into dance and singing and became so proficient that she was given the lead in a musical comedy. The joy she has found lingers every day, she absolutely sparkles.

One of the best rewards I got out of my day yesterday was the chance to make three new friends. We are going to keep in touch, share our adventures and who knows maybe even do some neat stuff together. Some of those who were there had pretty significant physical limitations but there was no limit to their enthusiasm, they might not be able to do some things but there is so much that they can do that they get plenty of enjoyment out of their days.

I have added below some suggestions from Wikipedia on how each of us can also make the best of our days. The good news is that you don’t have to wait until you retire to start having fun.

 

Think positively and remain calm.

In the 1950’s the type A and B personality theory came out, stating that high strung, pessimistic attitudes can lead to coronary heart disease and other maladies.

Stay healthy.

It is scientifically proven that physical health, and cardiovascular activity has a direct effect on the release of endorphins. When endorphins are released, they transmit messages to the brain that translate into positive feelings.

Spend time with interesting people.

It has been statistically proven that we become that of our company, or in other words, their behavior has a great influence on us. So hanging around with positive people would encourage us to be more positive ourselves.

Get a pet.

Clemson University’s Psychology program found a direct correlation between pet owners and general happiness. Pet owners were also found to live longer, and have lowered blood pressure.

Reduce stress.

Constant stressful situations, and sometimes stressful times of the year have been proven to cause high blood pressure and health risks, which lower life expectancy and diminish quality of life.

Find a hobby.

Whether you choose stamp collecting or kickboxing, hobbies and extracurricular activities are necessary in the effort to enjoy life. Hard routines are counterproductive to spontanaeity and surprise.

Eat healthy.

Eating right causes the body to release the proper amount of endorphins in the body during exercise and everyday activity.

Learn new things.

A higher education is proven to bolster confidence and self-esteem.

Engage people.

Friends and social interaction are imperative for happiness and enjoyment.

~~~

It’s the game of life. Do I win or do I lose? One day they’re gonna shut the game down. I gotta have as much fun and go around the board as many times as I can before it’s my turn to leave.

Tupac Shakur

~~~

A very cheap man was looking for a gift for a friend. Everything was too expensive, except for a broken glass vase which he could purchase for almost nothing. He asked the store to send it, hoping his friend would think it had been broken in transit.

In due time, the man received an acknowledgement from his friend. “Thanks for the vase,” it read. “It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately.”

~~~

“We cannot solve life’s problems except by solving them.”

M. Scott Peck

~~~

A little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation.  His mother, sitting in the front row to prompt him, gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it didn’t help.  Her son’s memory was blank.

Finally she leaned forward and whispered the cue, “I am the light of the world.”

The child beamed and with great feeling and a loud, clear voice said, “My mother is the light of the world.”

from H to O.”

~~~

Maria:  I fell off a sixty-foot ladder today.

Sue:  It’s a miracle you weren’t killed.

Maria:  Oh, I only fell off the first rung.

~~~

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.

Bob Hope

~~~

Q: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one not to change the light bulb, and one to change AND not change the light bulb.

~~~

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

In the men’s room at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: “Think!”

The next day, when he went to the men’s room, he looked at the sign, and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, “Thoap!”

~~~

Adapt yourself to the life you have been given; and truly love the people with whom destiny has surrounded you.

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I like you a lot, I really do

“Life becomes precious and more special to us when we look for the little everyday miracles and get excited about the privileges of simply being human”

Tim Hansel

One of the things that I have learned as I have aged is that many folks let the years go by and let life’s opportunities drift away in the process. Lately I am meeting more and more people who have little idea what their life will be like as they think about imminent retirement. And lately the problem has crept into the lives of much younger folks as they have faced economic and employment issues. While I do not know of any easy answers for those who struggle looking for answers, I do know giving up is never a solution. I meet far too many people who have given up on themselves to the point that they start to believe a brighter future is impossible. How often do you hear people saying things like “times are tough they probably wouldn’t hire me” or “I really don’t have anything to offer as a volunteer” and the like. It is almost as if they are convincing themselves that they would not like themselves so why should someone else think well of them.

To some extent we should not let them get away with so much negativism. I can’t remember the last time I got close to someone who I did not find value in who they were and what they had to offer. I think we need to tell people how much we think of them. Far too often folks take what makes them special for granted and don’t recognize how good they are. I like to think we each have the opportunity to let them know what we admire about them as we focus on their positive aspects while avoiding reinforcing the negatives.

I like what Ralph Marston wrote in the following piece, I know there were times in my life that I would of benefited by following his advice.

 

Solidly on your way

You may be tired, or discouraged, or frustrated, or uncomfortable. No matter what, your best option is to move positively forward. Hanging on to past disappointments will only hold you back. Taking comfort in being a victim gives you no real comfort at all.

Staying safe by never venturing out, by never taking risks, is the riskiest thing you can do. Because it guarantees that you won’t get anything accomplished.

It takes effort to move forward, as well as courage and determination. Fortunately, you are filled with courage and determination, and you are able to make whatever effort you choose.

Yes, you may feel some fear and trepidation, yet courage is not the lack of fear. Your courage gives you the ability to feel your fear, to listen to what it has to say, to allow it to prepare you, and to move ahead.

You know what you desire and you know why you desire it. Set your sights on the goal, and know that you’re solidly on your way toward its achievement.

~~~

I know you’re special, do you?

Ray

~~~

Gretchen grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. She held up the thermos, and the barista quickly came over to take his order.

“Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?” Gretchen asked.

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, “Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”

“Oh, good!” Gretchen sighed in relief, “Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf.”

~~~

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

~~~

A man had finally got around to taking all his run down and broken umbrellas to the repair shop. Next morning on his way to his office, when he got up to leave the street car, he absentmindedly took hold of the umbrella belonging to the woman beside him, for he was in the habit of always carrying one.

The woman cried “Stop! Thief!”, grabbed her umbrella back and embarrassed the poor man no end!

That same day, he stopped at the repair shop, and received all eight of his umbrellas duly repaired and restored.. As he entered the street car, with the unwrapped umbrellas tucked under his arm, he was horrified to behold, glaring at him, the lady of his morning’s misadventure. Her voice came to him charged with a withering scorn:

“Had a good day, didn’t you!”

~~~

Have you noticed that the cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity?

~~~

Jill wanted a divorce from Todd.  The judge asked, “What fault do you find with your husband?”

“Your Honor, he’s a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless idiot.”

“That’s very serious,” exclaimed his Honor, “Can you prove all that?”

“Prove it? Why everybody knows it.”

“If you knew all this, then why did you marry him?”

“I didn’t know it before I married him.”

Todd shouted out, “She did too!”

~~~

A skeptic is a person who when he sees the handwriting on the wall claims it’s a forgery.

~~~

An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad.

Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she better try to do so before she passed away.

But until now, she’d never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued.

“You must take the loyalty oath first,” responded the passport clerk. “Raise your right hand, please.”

The old gal did as she was asked, and raised her right hand.

“Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” was the first question.

The little old lady’s face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice,

“Uhhh… all by myself?”

~~~

It’s not an optical illusion.    It just looks like one.

~~~

Sam is recovering from a recent heart attack and goes to visit Dr Myers, his cardiologist.

After a full check up, Dr Myers tells Sam that he will be able to resume his sex life as soon as he can climb two flights of stairs without getting out of breath.

Sam says, “OK, but what if I only look for women who live on the ground floor?”

~~~

“Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.”

Og Mandino

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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