Ray's musings and humor

It’s a boy

Great grandchildren are our compensation for growing old.

 ! 000 BDay-4

My slow recovery from my recent illness was more than offset yesterday by the birth of Donovan Malloy Sickafoose (9.6 pounds, 23 inches) to my grandson Cameron and his beautiful wife Emma. Donovan is thriving and has yet to choose a career but I am sure he will be brilliant at whatever he does. He is our first Great Grandchild and of course we are thrilled.

I feel the greatest legacy we have to offer is our children and their children. Nancy and I have three wonderful children who have provided us seven terrific grandkids and now the first of another generation. We have found, as we age, that the accomplishments of those we care about give us as much pleasure as those we have had ourselves. In a way Donovan provides us immortality for he is the result of the best our family has had to offer from generation to generation. It is nice to know the future is in his good hands.

This poem by Audrey Heller tells what it is like.

A Great Grandparent

There are things we look forward to, as we get on in years.

Our children getmarried, raise children of their own, through all the sweat and tears.

Before you turn around, grandchildren grow up and make their way. Along comes a young man, or woman and a marriage takes place, one day.

Time passes and you get a call.

What they’re about to say to you, is the happiest news of all.

As you listen with intent, you’re hearing all about the blessed event.

Tears, well up in your eyes and your heart, is jumping for joy.

You’re so elated, you don’t care if it’s a girl or boy.

It’s the most wonderful feeling to know, you’ve come this far.

Now, you’re going to become a great grandparent and you realize, how very fortunate, you are!

~~~

Life is easier if you hear the steps of great grandchildren walking beside you!

~~~

He said: Yesterday my brother Jim was taking a test required for a management job with a local trucking company.   Part of the test involved a verbal section given by the company employment director (or whatever).

Question: “You are driving a forklift and 2 men get in your way, what do you do?”

My brother’s answer: “Go for the one with the most seniority!”

~~~

Q: What’s a Jewish sweater?

A: It’s what a Jewish child wears when his mother is cold.

~~~

She said: Looking in the mall for a cotton nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its sexy lingerie. To my delight, however, I found just what I was looking for. Waiting in the line to pay, I noticed a young woman behind me holding the same nightgown. This confirmed what I suspected all along: despite being over 50, I still have a very “with it” attitude.

“I see we have the same taste,” I said proudly to the 20-something behind me.

“Yes,” she replied. “I’m getting this for my grandmother.”

~~~

What is a friend? A single soul shared by two people.

Aristotle

~~~

The 10 If’s You Need To Know To Get Along At Work

1) If it rings, put it on hold.

2) If it clunks, call the repairman.

3) If it whistles, ignore it.

4) If it’s a friend, stop work and chat.

5) If it’s the Boss, look busy.

6) If it talks, take notes.

7) If it’s handwritten, type it.

8) if it’s typed, copy it.

9) If it’s copied, file it.

10) If it’s Friday, FORGET IT!!!

~~~

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

W. C. Fields

~~~

Found on the retirement village bulletin board

FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim,5’4″ used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and  am looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and  meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.

~~~

It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

~~~

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.

The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”

Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, “Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?”

Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.”

~~~

“Half our live is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed though life trying to save.”

Will Rogers

~~~

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses’ mess saying: “Remember, the first five minutes of a human being’s life are the most dangerous.” Underneath, a nurse had written: “The last five are pretty risky, too.”

~~~

Children are the rainbow of life. Grandchildren are the pot of gold.

Irish Blessing

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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