Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2013

Another great day coming up

“The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it.”

Richard Bach

 love life

I had a great weekend, I hope you did too. Friday evening I saw the Buena Vista Social Club in concert where their rousing Cuban music had the audience dancing in the aisles. These great senior musicians (the featured female singer is 83) were amazing. It was almost two hours of non-stop joy with no intermission. If that was not enough I watched one of my grandsons in a city soccer tournament on Saturday where he made two assists and scored one goal and won the game. They play another semi-finalist team tonight.

Best of all I had a Daily reader report that a relative who is also a reader has made some positive life style changes so that she can enjoy some of the pleasure you and I share every week day. It does not get much better than that. After I savored that news and it reminded me of an article by Sherry Richert Belul offering tips on finding more joy in life. Here is what she wrote that, I edited for size, I hope it helps those who want more out of life:

 

8 Simple Ways to Celebrate and Find More Joy Everyday

If you’re not living each day in a way that brings you happiness, then take a look at this 8 joyful tips below and brighten up your daily routine!

Play Dead – I know this may feel counterintuitive, but the first way to practice joy is to remind yourself every morning that you are going to die and everyone you love will die. Wait! Don’t go. Read on! When we remember that our days are limited and that at any moment we could lose someone we love, we bring more attention to what a gift life is. Thinking of death doesn’t have to be morbid; it can be a reminder of how much we love and who we want to be while we’re here.

Give Thanks – Every morning take the time to list 10 things you’re grateful for. You’ve heard it 1000 times before. And there’s a reason for that. What we focus on expands. When we focus on what we have, we feel good. And we start looking for more things to appreciate. And we find more things. And we feel even better. When you make your list, and as you go about your day, try to include things you take for granted — like being able to see, the car starting, running water, heat, having a bed, your child’s creative mind.

Inspire Ourselves – Face it; there is a lot of negativity out there in the world. It’s key to seek out the beauty and inspiration we want in our life. To consciously create our own sense of well-being. Here are a few ways to inspire yourself:

• Spend just 10 minutes in the morning playing music, reading or writing poetry, laughing with your children, dancing, reading good fiction, or walking out in nature.

• Pay attention to messages you are hearing inside or outside of your head. Consciously turn your attention elsewhere when something negative crops up. Do this over and over and over.

Energize and Revitalize – There’s no separation between our bodies and our emotional states. Make it key to be healthy. Eat well, sleep well, and exercise. Seek ways to feel energetic. Energy=joy.

Create extraordinary Moments – Consciously choose to make someone feel great or to create a beautiful moment for yourself.

Seek an Adventure – One simple joy that we often forget about occurs when we break out of our rut and challenge ourselves, even in the smallest of ways. I have a coaching client who told me one day that he was dedicated to doing something differently every day for a week. Driving a different route, going someplace new for lunch, wearing clothes he didn’t normally wear. Try it.

Elevate the Ordinary – Buddha said, “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.” Often what creates a real feeling of joy is simply that we are present to life.

Celebrate – At the end of the day, spend just 5 or 10 minutes making a list of everything that went right. What did you do that made someone smile? What electronics didn’t break? Were you able to walk/see/think? Did you have a connection with your spouse or child? Did you make someone feel great or create an extraordinary moment for them? Don’t let these things go unnoticed. Celebrate yourself and your life.

~~~

“Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?”

Hunter Thompson

~~~

The junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble. Arriving home from work one night, he informed her, “I finally discovered why I’ve been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago and I just learned today that I’ve been sitting in the wastebasket.”

~~~

Don’t wait for the funeral to say something kind or nice about someone.

~~~

A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called on the lawyer, expressed his appreciation of his work and handed him a handsome Moroccan leather wallet.

The lawyer looked at the wallet in astonishment and handed it back with a sharp reminder that a wallet could not possible compensate him for his services. “My fee for that work, ” acidly snapped the attorney, “is five hundred dollars.” The client opened the wallet, removed a one-thousand dollar bill, replaced it with a five-hundred dollar bill and handed it back to the lawyer with a smile.

~~~

“Happy laughter and family voices in the home will keep more kids off the streets at night than the strictest curfew.”

~~~

More from the hospital charts makes you wonder.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

~~~

She said, my mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on Jury duty… They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

~~~

What the Store-employees really mean…

1. “Can I help you get a size?” Don’t touch that, I just spent an hour folding it and I don’t need your hands messing it up again.

2. “Do you need help with anything?” Quick, my manager is coming around the corner and I need to look busy.

3. “Welcome to <<Store Name Here>>” Good, another customer to mess up my entire store just to buy a pair of socks.

4. “Have a nice day!” Now that you ruined mine

5. “Thank you for shopping at <<Store Name Here>> “Thanks for emptying your wallet with us!

6. “Do you need a shopping cart to help you carry your items?” The more you can carry, the more you can buy!

7. “I love your shirt!  Where did you get it?” Your shirt is much nicer than the clothes we sell here, why are you even shopping here?

8. “Can I help you get something down?” I’ll get a ladder and put it up for you since this other nice customer put in the absolute wrong place.

9. “Don’t worry about folding it, I can do it” You would just mess it up again if you folded it.

10. “No, we don’t have any more in the back” I just don’t want to check

~~~

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumblebee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

Ashley Smith

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

What did he say?

You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.

Lee Iacocca

communication

Wednesday I attended a lecture on domestic terrorism that discussed the recent mass killings that have taken place in our country as well as how we have changed as a people since 9/11. I had the opportunity to share an observation and ask a question. The concern I wanted to express was that I felt the terrorists both domestic and foreign win to some extent because we let out fear and anger change some of us in a negative way. There are folks who seem to think everyone that is not like them is suspect and even evil. They show that they do not understand the differences between religions, peoples or cultures. It is almost as if they feel everyone is guilty until proven innocent instead of the protection offered by our constitution that protects individuals from unfair oppression. We must not slip back to where we blame the many for sins of the few.

Anyway what I wanted to say was that I did not adequately make my point and should have done a better job of it. So this morning I dug back into my saved articles and found this piece that I hope will help me do better in the future.

 

5 Powerful Ways to Express Your Ideas And Opinions Clearly

Peter Murphy

Are you fed up with struggling to express your thoughts and opinions? These days, people want to talk and not listen! No one wants to be a shadow in the crowd. Having your thoughts and opinions heard is a priority. Below are some strategies that will help you to voice your opinions and ideas:

Know what your aim is. Make sure that before attempting to open your mouth and the words begin to flow that your 100% clear on the ideas that need to be expressed. Knowing where you want to go with the conversation will help to give you that extra confidence boost.

When your audience can see that you are confident then they will more alert and want to listen.

Ignore the definition of perfection. Just sit and ask yourself, exactly what is perfect? Is there anyone out there that is 100% perfect? The fact is that we are only human and not one of us is without flaw. A small error is acceptable; there’s no need to be stringent to the point that you begin to struggle voicing your opinion! As long as you know the topic of importance, a simple error can be overlooked.

Keep it basic. Think about why you sometimes shut off when someone is voicing their opinion; remember your days at school and college with teachers lecturing in front of the class.  Being lectured is boring! There really is no need to use big words. The simple facts voiced in an exciting manner will be more than enough to keep the audience tuned in. It’s extremely annoying to have someone chatting away for 30 minutes when the conversation could have been kept basic and ended in half the time.

Stay on the straight and narrow; turning left and right really is not going to turn into a success story. Don’t make the listeners fall asleep!

Pretend that you are alone. One of the major fears of having to express your opinion in front of a crowd is how you will be perceived by the audience. Can you really afford to let negativity like this get in the way?! Picture that you are alone and voicing your opinion to yourself! Your nerves will remain calm and allow you to remain focused on the topic that you need to address.

Revise before you talk. Simple revision of your conversation will help you take it to the next level. The fact that you are confident and know what you are talking about will help significantly. When people that you’re talking to know that you certain on what you’re expressing, they will have faith in you. Think about possible questions that might arise from your topic of conversation and have the answers readily prepared in your head.

Learning to voice your thoughts and opinions really is a simple process. We are all human and each of us has worries and fears. Talking should be fun, not a drag; you should have confidence in yourself. Just let the words flow.

~~~

“Communicate unto the other person that which you would want him to communicate unto you if your positions were reversed.”

Aaron Goldman

~~~

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27.

She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty.

“Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”

~~~

Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars’ worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

~~~

More things we learned from the movies:

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

Everyone knows the words to every song you want to sing and will sing along with you. They can even carry the solo part so that they can sing the song back to you, even if they have never heard the song until you sang half of it.

Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always find a new one laying around the next time you need one.

Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son’s eighth birthday.

~~~

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

~~~

A secretary, a paralegal and a partner in a city law firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”

“Me first! Me first!” says the secretary. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the paralegal. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life.”  Poof! He’s gone.

“You’re next,” the Genie says to the partner. The partner says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

~~~

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

~~~

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:

“Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'”

One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook??”

~~~

“The two words information and communication are often used interchangeably, but they signify quite different things. Information is giving out; communication is getting through.”

Sydney Harris

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Good enough is good enough

.“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”

Marcus Aurelius

 perfection

I know we have discussed in the past how debilitating perfectionism can be but I still see far too many who suffer because of it. I have seen numerous opportunities missed because of delays created by the belief that more work can make something that is very good even better.

In fact in the past I have benefitted by imperfection. Years ago when I had technical responsibility for a new computer introduction I found that if I distributed a less than perfect solution for a design flaw to key people they would quickly respond with a design change that would solve the problem. I don’t advocate purposely misinforming any one, I am just saying that the sooner information sees the light of day, the sooner it will be reviewed and if there are flaws we will hear from readers and can quickly make any corrections needed.

I also like the fact that perfectionism avoidance goes a long way to allow fret-free peace of mind. I also have found over the years that perfectionists are really hard to work with for they spend far too much time on why we are not ready than in finding why we are.

Here are some tips I extracted from an article entitled Common Habits of Unhappy People written by Henrik Edberg that I find worthy, I hope you will too.

 

Aiming for perfection.

Does life has to be perfect before you are happy?

Do you have to behave in a perfect way and get perfect results to be happy?

Then happiness will not be easy to find. Setting the bar for your performance at an inhuman level usually leads to low self-esteem and feeling like you are not good enough even though you may have had a lot of good or excellent results. You and what you do is never enough good enough except maybe once in a while when feels like something goes just perfect.

How to overcome this habit:

Three things that helped me to kick the perfectionism habit and become more relaxed:

Go for good enough. Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else never being finished. So go for good enough instead. Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.

Have a deadline. I set deadlines every time that start with a new premium guide. Because about a year ago, when I was working on my second e-book, I realized that just working on it and releasing it when it was done would not work. Because I could always find stuff to add to it. So I had to set a deadline. Setting a deadline gave me a kick in the butt and it is generally good way to help you to let go of a need to polish things a bit too much.

Realize what it costs you when you buy into myths of perfection. This was a very powerful reason for me to let go of perfectionism and one I tell myself still if I find thoughts of perfection pop up in my mind. By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.  But in real life it clashes with reality and tends to cause much suffering and stress within you and in the people around you. It can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world. I find it very helpful to remind myself of this simple fact.

~~~

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”

Anna Quindlen

~~~

More rules:

Lieberman’s law: Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

Denniston’s law: Virtue is its own punishment.

Gold’s law: If the shoe fits, its ugly.

Finster’s law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Hanlon’s razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Green’s law of debate: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.

First rule of history: History doesn’t repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.

Oliver’s law of location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Harrison’s postulate: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

~~~

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

~~~

The new family in the neighborhood overslept and the six year old daughter missed her school bus.  The father, though late for work, agreed to drive her if she’d direct him to the school. They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn.  This went on for 20 minutes — yet when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home.

Asked why she’d led the father over such a circuitous route, the child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, and it’s the only way I know.”

~~~

“And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?” asked the father of his little son.

“Diet.”

~~~

You Know You Need A New Lawyer When

1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2. When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other.

3. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.

4. He places a large “No Refunds” sign on the defense table.

5. Just before trial starts he whispers, “The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?”

6. The sign in front of his law office reads “Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM.”

7. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, “Whatever.”

~~~

It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

~~~

Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880’s.  He’s buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore

Four slugs from a .44

No Les No More.

~~~

The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement.

George F. Will

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Now or Never

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.

Napoleon Hill

today-dont-delay

I can sure tell summer is over, now that fall is here opportunities for service abound. Not only that friends and acquaintances resurface providing numerous opportunities to catch up. My problem is that I am moving a little slow these days and have some health restrictions that make it tempting to fall into the procrastination trap. I know after having been there in the past that the price of delay almost always creates even heavier burdens. So I am trying to manage my time and commitments so I can proceed at a comfortable pace. So my friends if I have to miss or delay an opportunity you have provided please understand. The good news is that I should be back to full speed in November.

I have found over the years that attitude and perseverance are great procrastination antidotes. Here is something Ralph Marston wrote some time ago in the same vein that I would like to share with you today.

 

Making it happen

If you’re weary, it may not be from what you’re doing. Your weariness could be caused by what you continue to put off doing. Having an uncompleted task hanging over you, day after day, week after week, wears on you constantly. To free yourself from that burden, go ahead and get it finished.

Instead of putting your energy into worry and avoidance and procrastination, put your energy into getting the job done. The way to have more energy is to make productive use of the energy you have. This day will soon come to an end, no matter what you do.

You have the choice of feeling satisfied with all you’ve accomplished, or disappointed that another day has passed without anything to show for it. Choose to make good and valuable use of the time you now have. Decide to free yourself from the burden of what needs to be done by actually getting it done. Imagine the satisfaction you’ll feel, and imagine the new options you’ll have. Now get busy and enjoy making it happen.

~~~

Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.

Mason Cooley

~~~

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, “Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.”

“I know” said the man, “but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone.”

~~~

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

~~~

There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.”

The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”

The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, “Just follow my lead.”

They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at the door says, “Sorry, mac, no pets allowed.”

The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye-dog.”

The bouncer says, “A Doberman Pinscher?”

He answers, “Yes, they’re using them now; they’re very good and protect me from robbers, too.”

The man at the door says, “Come on in.”

The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, “What the heck,” so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

Once again the bouncer says, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.”

The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The bouncer at the door says, “A Chihuahua?”

The man with the Chihuahua says, “A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a Chihuahua?!”

~~~

Have you noticed, I am a nutritional overachiever?

~~~

A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm and soothing voice, says, “Alright, take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There is silence, and then a gun shot is heard.

The hunter comes back on the line. “OK. Now what??”

~~~

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.

Louis Pasteur

~~~

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

~~~

History is a lie commonly agreed upon.

Neitzche

~~~

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, “It is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and dislikes.”

He addressed the man, “Can you name your wife’s favorite flower?”

Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, “It’s Pillsbury, isn’t it?

~~~

“To be always intending to make a new and better life but never find time to set about it is as…to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to next until you’re dead.”

Oq Mandino

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

May you find peace of mind

Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.

John Wooden

 Peace of Mind tree

I had lunch recently with a good friend who shared her pleasure in having brought balance into her life by finding work that allowed time to enjoy the world around her. I was pleased that she was poised to start a happier life and the comfort that has come from her new found peace of mind. Far too many of us waste too much time fretting over things which we cannot control and things of little import.

If you would like to invest in a happy future put some time into working on your ability to maintain a high degree of peace of mind.

Here is an edited article by author Remez Sasson that you might help you find what my friend has found.

Peace of Mind Tips and Advice

What is peace of mind? It is a state of mental and emotional calmness, with no worries, fears or stress. In this mental and emotional state the mind becomes quiet and you feel a sense of happiness and freedom.

The question is, how to bring more peace of mind into our life, and more importantly, how to experience it in times of difficulties and ordeals. You might also ask, whether it is possible to turn it into a habit, and enjoy it always and under all circumstances. Actually, there are a few things you can do to enjoy more peace in your life.

Tips and advice for peace of mind:

Stay away from negative conversations and from negative people. You don’t want their thoughts and words sink into your subconscious mind and affect your moods and state of mind.

Don’t hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.

Don’t be jealous of others. Being jealous means that you have low self-esteem, and consider yourself inferior to others. Jealousy and low self esteem, often, lead to lack of inner peace.

Accept what cannot be changed. This saves a lot of time, energy and worries. Every day, we face numerous inconveniences, irritations and situations that are beyond our control. If we can change them, that’s fine, but this is not always possible. We must learn to put up with such things and accept them cheerfully.

Don’t dwell on the past. The past is not here anymore, so why think about it? Let bygones be gone. Forget the past and focus on the present moment. There is no need to evoke unpleasant memories and immerse yourself in them.

Learn to be more patient and tolerant with family, friends, coworkers, employees, and everyone else. Don’t take everything too personally. A certain degree of emotional and mental detachment is very helpful. On many occassions, it would be useful to inject a certain measure of detachment and non-involvement. This would bring into your life more peace, harmony and common sense.

Learn to focus your mind. When you are able to focus your mind, you can more easily reject worries and anxieties, refuse to think negative thoughts, and reduce the constant chatter of your mind.

Meditation is not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you have the time, and are willing to try it, even just a few minutes a day will make a difference in your life. You will become more peaceful, relaxed and happy.

Inner peace ultimately leads to external peace. By creating peace in your inner world, in your mind, you bring it into your external world, and into other people’s lives.

~~~

The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom and peace of mind.

Melchor Lim

~~~

“If we were rich,” said Mrs. Abrahams, “we’d spend six months a year in Florida, six months a year in Europe, and six months a year in California.”

“But dear, that would make eighteen months in a year!” said her husband.

“Indeed it would, Herbert.  Isn’t is wonderful what you can do with money?”

~~~

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed.

~~~

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, “This doesn’t feel so bad.”

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

“You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?” the husband asked.

“Exactly,” replied the instructor.

To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, pick up that pen for me.”

~~~

When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.

Henny Youngman

~~~

Not expecting to do at all well in the economics exam, Harold was heartened by the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export?

Smiling confidently, Harold wrote, “1492; none.”

~~~

A little boy asked his mother, “Mummy, am I descended from a monkey?”

The mother replied, “I don’t know, son, I’ve never met your father’s folks.”

~~~

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all.

Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. “Reform I can understand. But where will it end?  You! Goldblum!  The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read???”

Goldblum shuddered.

God went on.  “I can live with that.  Men are weak, but the Word is strong!”

Goldblum sighed with relief.

“Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but really:  serving  Ham & Cheese Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?”

Bauman hung his head in shame.

“Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I’m not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my people, but I can accept these indiscretions.”

Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.

Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, “You, Rabinowitz, have gone too far!  Am I asking too much?  No, you flaunt the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying….

‘Closed for the Holidays!'”

~~~

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.  Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!

Christian Larson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Patsy Cline Lives

Patsy Cline Lives!

I know Patsy lives for I saw her yesterday recreated by Judy Fitzgerald in a stellar performance at the Studio Theatre located in the Carmel Performing Arts Center. Always…Patsy Cline is the latest offering by the Actors Theatre of Indiana. We are so fortunate that these New York trained professional actors choose to bring their great talent to Central Indiana.

In this show Fitzgerald utilized her great singing and acting skills in a high energy recreation of Clines short career through treating the audience to vocals of many of Clines greatest hits. If that was not enough Cindy Collins, who played Patsy’s friend Louise in the show brought her fantastic  comedic energy to the part which broght the whole audience into the show. The performance was dedicated to Cindy’s mom who passed away less than a month ago. I am told her mother was a very special lady who I am sure would be proud of the joy her daughter shared with each of us yesterday.

There is still time to see the show and when you go I know you will enjoy it as much as we all did yesterday.

Ray

 Patsy Cline

Our Greatest Gifts

The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege.

Charles Kuralt

 family

Today I read the following piece written by Sue Atkins Founder of Positive Parents and author of “Raising Happy Children for Dummies.” It is a great reminder of the importance of our families and others in our lives. When those close to us are always there it becomes far too easy to take them for granted while we miss opportunities to let them know how much we value them. Sure we say a few words on birthdays and other occasions often just communicating by words someone else wrote on a greeting card but that does not come even close to what letting your heart speak to them.

We see praise from a boss or the winning of a prize as a big deal when there is no bigger deal than what you get from those who care for you every day. I want to praise my family and children while seldom criticizing them. I want to take pride in what they do well and overlook their minor failings. When we realize that our most prized possessions are not things but those who have given us their love and friendship we see just how fortunate we really are. I just wish I had done a better job of sharing my feelings over the years.

Here is what Atkins wrote:

If today was my last day, here is my message for humanity.

For me, there’s more to life than money. For me, it’s all about people and relationships and in particular it’s about the relationships we have within our own families – with our kids, our partners, and our own parents. Family life is the most important aspect of our true well-being – and so is the really important job of bringing up happy, confident, well-balanced adults – today’s children – but tomorrow’s future. For all children and for most adults, family life is the most important thing in life. It gives meaning to our lives – as it’s a place of safety, security, support, laughter, and a feeling of belonging.

You only have to ask yourself – who was there to pick you up from a late night party, give you a bit of “extra” money when you’d run out, or sorted things out when you got into trouble or made mistakes? Or who was there to get you over a broken heart, a messy divorce, or there encouraging you on the sidelines on a frozen cold January morning when you were playing netball? Who taught you to ride a bike, rollerskate or drive a car? And who is always there believing in you and encouraging you when life is overwhelming and challenging? Your family.

Your family is your rock in a very fast-paced, hectic world of change – it’s your anchor in the stormy seas and choppy waters of growing up. And that’s why for me it’s so important. It’s from this centre that children thrive and go on to believe in their dreams and make a success of their lives – whatever that means for them. It’s like a ripple in a pond – each generation building on the other. I believe every parent loves their child and is doing their very best for them but because kids don’t come with a handbook.

Life with kids can be enormously challenging, tiring and frustrating, but it can also be the most rewarding and uplifting experience in the world too – and nothing can prepare you for that either. It’s not about the background you come from, the colour of your skin or the amount of money you have in your bank account that matters – it’s about the memories you build with your kids that will last their lifetime.

Here is a quote I came across many years ago that changed the course of my life and I hope you find it thought-provoking too. It was written by Dr. Forest E. Witcraft who was a scholar, teacher, and Boy Scout administrator. “Fifty years from now it won’t matter what kind of car you drove, what kind of house you lived in, how much you had in your bank account or what your clothes looked like. But the world may be a little better because you were important in the life of a child.”

You are that very important person in the life of your child. So paint more rainbows, buy more earrings and kick more footballs in the garden and learn to cherish, nurture and embrace your children as you are building bridges of unconditional love and lasting self-esteem deep within them.

~~~

You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.

Desmond Tutu

~~~

Aviation Truisms:

Blue water Navy truism; There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Progress in airline flying; now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

Basic Flying Rules

1.  Try to stay in the middle of the air.

2.  Do not go near the edges of it.

3.  The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space.  It is much more difficult to fly there.

~~~

Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.

Groucho Marx

~~~

The little turtle climbs the tree very slowly, very painfully. Then she crawls along a branch, to the very end, and when she finally gets to the edge, she jumps. And she falls. But she doesn’t get discouraged. So she walks to the tree, she climbs the tree, she crawls along the branch, she gets to the edge, and she jumps. And falls to the ground. Again, with a stubborn look in her face, the little turtle walks slowly to the tree, she climbs the tree, she crawls along the branch, she gets to the edge, and she jumps. And falls.

In a nearby tree a couple of pigeons are looking at the little turtle. Walk, climb, crawl, jump. Fall. And all over again. After a while one of the pigeons ask the other, “Hey honey, don’t you think its time we tell her that she is adopted?”

~~~

“The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.”

~~~

A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, “Granddaughter? Are you there?”

The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, “Grandmother? Is that you?”

“Yes granddaughter, it’s me.”

“It’s really, really you, grandmother?” the woman repeats.

“Yes, it’s really me, granddaughter.”

The woman looks puzzled, “You’re sure it’s you, grandmother?”

“Yes, granddaughter, I’m sure it’s me.”

The woman pauses a moment, “Grandmother, I have just one question for you.”

“Anything, my child.”

“Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?”

~~~

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.

Johann Schiller

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

What’s on your list?

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

things to do

Wow, Friday already, I told a friend the other day that I thought that the older I get the faster time seems to fly by. In a way right now that is a good thing for me since my health status requires me to limit what I do until corrective surgery in November. That just means I have to readjust my things-to-do list in order to limit myself to the practical stuff and put off miracle attempts until later in the year. As I pondered what should be on the list today I remembered that Marc Chernoff had written a piece suggesting what we might want to put on our lists everyday. Here are some of his suggestions.

 

Powerful Things to Put on Your To-Do List Today

Meditate on your own inner voice. – Some people will kill you over time if you let them; and how they’ll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases like, “be realistic.”  When this happens, close your ears and listen to your inner voice instead.  Remember that real success in life isn’t what others see, but how you feel.  It’s living your truth and doing what makes you feel alive.

Celebrate your efforts, not your outcomes. – Failure keeps you humble, success keeps you glowing, but only faith and determination keeps you going.  So stay focused, and celebrate your efforts, not your outcomes.  Challenges are what make life interesting, overcoming them is what gives life meaning.  Remember that the opposite of failing is not succeeding; the opposite of failing is trying.

Exercise your positivity. – You deserve a day in which worries don’t get in the way of your happiness.  A day where, even if some people are insensitive or unkind, you’re not going to mind because you realize that the blessings you received are far greater than the burdens you once experienced.  You can create a day like this for yourself.  There is power in positivity.

Practice genuine kindness. – The best choice you can make is to be genuinely respectful and authentically kind.  Though your kindness will not always be returned, it will certainly be noticed.  And even when it’s not fully appreciated by others, your kindness will always inject more positive value into your own life.  What you give comes back to you in ways that are impossible to predict.  So give your kindness as often as you can, and enjoy the more positive world you are helping to create.

Be grateful for all the blessings you already have. – We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.  What if you gave someone a gift and they neglected to thank you for it?  Would you be likely to give them another one?  The daily events in your life respond the same way.  In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must be grateful for what you already have.

Enjoy yourself. – In between all your goals, priorities, obligations, and everything else that might appear on one of your upcoming to-do lists, there are moments called ‘life’ that still have to be lived and enjoyed.  The trick is to make the best of each moment, and value it for what it’s worth.  In other words, don’t wish all your time away by waiting for better times ahead.  Smile, right now, because you can.

~~~

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”

Randy Pausch

~~~

Life was simpler when:

Abilities were discovered because of a “double-dog-dare.”

“Oly-oly-oxen-free” made perfect sense.

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

War was a card game.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

Ice cream was considered a basic food group.

Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.

~~~

“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.”

Marquise du Deffand

~~~

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, “Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green.”

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.

“Now what?” the fellow asked the speechless pro.

“Uh… you’re supposed to hit the ball into the cup,” the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.

“Oh great! Now you tell me,” said the beginner in a disgusted tone.

~~~

Commit the Golden Rule to life, not just to memory.

~~~

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.”

“Me neither doc.” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.”

~~~

Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years.

Henny Youngman

~~~

A group of managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole.  They got their ladders and tape measures and went out to the flagpole.  However, the measurement job turned out to be much more difficult than any of them had expected, with some of them falling off the ladders, some dropping their tape measures, and so on, and the whole thing had just turned into a big disaster.

After a while, an engineer happened to walk by and saw what the managers were attempting to do.  She walked over, pulled the flagpole out of the ground, and laid it flat on the ground. She measured it from end to end, gave the measurement to one of the managers, and then walked away without saying another word.

After the engineer was out of sight, one manager turned to another and laughed as he shook his head.  “Now that’s just like an engineer! We’re looking for the height and she gives us the length!”

~~~

If you think time heals everything, try sitting in a doctor’s waiting room.

~~~

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?”

“Yes,” the golfer responded.

“Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?”

“Yes, I did. How did you know?” he asked.

“Well,” said the policeman very seriously, “Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver’s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?”

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded, “I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.”

~~~

“People should think things out fresh and not just accept conventional terms and the conventional way of doing things.”

R. Buckminster Fuller

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

How you say it is as important as what you say

“You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.”

Dale Carnegie

 communicator

I had breakfast yesterday with two of my favorite people, one is the Executive Director of a respected community organization and the other is a top administrator of one of our most important universities. One of the things we did was brainstorm generating ideas for an event where seniors will learn more about things that interest them.

During the conversations we again realized that while facts are important when lecturing it is more important that we reach the audience and stimulate their thought processes. It is the instructor who is an effective communicator and engages their audience that plants the seeds for intellectual growth. Body language, friendliness and effective word selection that can make a real difference.

I like the following article written by Bob Perks, I hope you like it as well

 

When There’s Nothing We Can Do

“Out of all that you possess, what do you believe is the most valuable?” he asked me.

“Rich, you know me well enough to know I put little value on things in my life. So, this, for me, is a difficult question,” I replied.

“It’s not the same answer for everyone and yet, most people put little, if any, value on this,” he said.

Rich is a man with more energy than any one person should have. When he is speaking with you he talks to everyone around you. When he is in a room everyone knows it. He is not boisterous, rude or obnoxious. He is just super happy and friendly with everyone he meets.

There are times when I see people and wish out loud, “I want to be that happy.” I’m not sure I’d want to be as happy as Rich. He sometimes exhausts me.  I thought about what he said for a few minutes while he scanned the people nearby.

“Hey, this is Bobby Perks. He’s a big time writer!” he said to someone. I, in turn, wanted to hide.  “Well, I would guess I would say I value my home. It’s a simple one, big enough for Marianne and I, but I would guess shelter would have to be at the top of my list.”

“Good answer. I knew you wouldn’t say your car. You don’t drive a fancy one. You don’t wear a watch or fancy jewelry. You’re right, stuff doesn’t matter to you.”

“So, what’s your answer?”

“Your words. Not because you are a writer and a speaker. I believe that you own your words and many people don’t. You care about what you say.”

 He gives me more credit than I deserve for I have, like some people, said things I regretted later.  I thought about “owning my words.”  They say that actions speak louder than words, but people tend to say things without really thinking.  Words build up or tear down.  Words inspire or insult.  The first words spoken have made lovers out of strangers.  The last words whispered may ease a mourners pain.  Words spoken in anger are often forgiven, but rarely forgotten.

“Just what I needed to hear!” means God spoke through you. You are what you say and how you say it.

Matthew 12:37 “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Sometimes words are all we have when there’s nothing we can do.

~~~

“The basic building block of good communications is the feeling that every human being is unique and of value.”

Unknown

~~~

Did you know that:

Karaoke is a Japanese word meaning “tone deaf”.

Sleep is that fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.

A cynic is someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.

The answer is what everybody is still looking for.

~~~

I’m not aging, I just need re-potting.

~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.  His father asked him three times what was wrong.  Finally, the boy replied, “That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!”

~~~

Lord, if I can’t be skinny, let all my friends be fat.

~~~

After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”

“Thank heavens,” his date replied. “If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”

~~~

“Every generalization is dangerous, especially this one.”

Mark Twain

~~~

A guy walked into a pro-shop with a gorilla. “Is anyone interested in a little wager?” he said, flashing some large bills around. “I’ve got $500.00 here that says my gorilla can hit the ball longer and straighter than anybody here at this club. In fact, he hits it 500 yards …right down the middle…every time!”

Everyone in the pro-shop started laughing. After a moment the newest pro at the club and the longest hitter in the area spoke up, “I gotta see this!” he said. “You know, what? I’ll take you up on that wager! Meet you on the first tee.”

When they reached the 585-yard par-5 first tee the trainer led the gorilla to the tee box, put a driver in his hands, set a tee in the ground. The gorilla did the rest.

Sure enough, he smashed his drive right down the middle and clear out of sight. When the ball finally came to rest it was on the green -6 inches from the cup.

The pro was astonished. “That’s incredible!” he exclaimed. “How did you train him to hit the ball like that! There’s no need for me to tee off. I couldn’t beat him with a stick. Here’s your money.”

As the pro walked off the green, still shaking his head, he turned back to the trainer and said “Oh, by the way, how does he putt?”

The trainer responded, “Just like he drives: 500 yards. Right down the middle. Every time.”

~~~

You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.

Lee Iacocca

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

A message from the past

You will have the rest of your life to remember.

But what you have to remember depends on what you do today.

 Life

It was a full day yesterday as I ran errands that had been delayed by my various medical adventures. Fortunately what I was able to do was lay the foundation for semi-normal activity in the days ahead.

Since I am once again running behind I will have to provide a Daily from the past again this morning. Here is Ray’s Daily first published twelve years ago.

 

Ray’s Daily

September 18, 2001

My hope is that you and yours will be able to ride with the difficult times that we face today and in the days ahead. We must do our best to hold our heads high, maintain our optimism, and set a good example, especially for the children.

“To believe in a child is to believe in the future. Through their aspirations they will save the world. With their combined knowledge the turbulent seas of hate and injustice will be calmed. They will champion the causes of life’s underdogs, forging a society without class discrimination. They will supply humanity with music and beauty as it has never known. They will endure. Towards these ends I pledge my life’s work. I will supply the children with tools and knowledge to overcome the obstacles. I will pass on the wisdom of my years and temper it with patience. I shall impact in each child the desire to fulfill his or her dream. I shall teach.”

Henry James

~~~

The first edition of the New York Times was published on this date 150 years ago. Life was simpler then.

~~~

I know that at times I will be troubled,

I know that at times I will be belabored,

I know that at times I will be disquieted,

but I believe that I will not be overcome.

Julian of Norwich

14th Century Christian Mystic

~~~

I was walking into the casino when I passed a very depressed man sitting dejectedly on the floor by the entrance. Normally, I would have kept walking and minded my business, but something about this individual made me pause.  So I stopped and asked him what was wrong. “Oh, I got problems you don’t want to hear about,” he told me. I persisted.  “What kind of problems?” I asked him. He looked up at me and said, “I just got bad news. My wife is very sick and needs immediate medical treatment.  I don’t have insurance and I have to find the cash to take care of her.”

“How much do you need?” I asked.

“$200.00,” he responded.

I thought for a moment and then asked the guy, “Look, if I gave you the money to take your wife to the doctor, how do I know you just won’t turn around and go into this casino and gamble the money away.”

He looked up at me reassuringly and stated “Oh, I got gambling money!”

~~~

Senility Prayer: God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

~~~

      Louise was describing her new apartment to her mother.  “Mom, you’ve got to come and see it.  It’s gorgeous!  Great sitting room and the bedroom is exquisite.  The kitchen is a model of efficiency and the bathroom…well, all I can say is…the bathroom is out of this world!”

There was a pause, then her mother remarked, “Isn’t that a little inconvenient?”

~~~

Upon picking her up for dinner, she said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m feeling a little schizophrenic tonight.”

“Good!” I said. “That makes four of us.”

~~~

Believe it, those were sad days!

In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami.

“Excuse me,” she said to the manager. “My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks.”

“I’m awfully sorry,” he replied, “but all of our rooms are occupied.” Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out.

“What luck,” said Mrs. Goldstein. “Now there’s a room.”

“Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed.”

“Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic.”

“I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?”

“Jesus, Son of Mary.”

“Where was he born?”

“In a stable.”

“And why was he born in a stable?”

“Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!”

~~~

There is no failure except in no longer trying.

~~~

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter. When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car.  She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter, she didn’t know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do.

The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse.  She said, “You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door”. The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car.  Then she looked at the hanger and said, “I don’t know how to use this.”

So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.  The woman thought, “Great God. This is what you sent to help me????”  But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help.  She said “Yes, my daughter is very sick……I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car, I must get home to her.  Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car.”

He said, “SURE”.  He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, “THANK YOU SO MUCH…..You are a very nice man.”

The man replied, “Lady, I am not a nice man, see, I just got out of prison today.  I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour.”

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud…..”THANK YOU, GOD, FOR SENDING ME A PROFESSIONAL!!!!”

~~~

“The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.”

Marty Feldman.

~~~

A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.

Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the lady’s room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing their waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, “I’ll bet none of you thought I would make it.”

~~~

“This is how hope works: it looks for the good in people and situations, rather than finding the worst; it discovers what can be done instead of throwing up its hands at what can’t; it considers problems large and small, as opportunities to move forward when it would be easier to quit; it makes us human, helping us find the very best in ourselves for those around us and the situations we face. “

Kevin Eikenberry

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

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