Ray's musings and humor

Archive for December, 2017

Here we go again

Ray’s Daily

December 29, 2017

mailto:ray@iquest.net

There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

C.S. Lewis

happy-new-year-cards

Wow, the end of another year. 2017 has been a year of challenge and change for me. While I had a few health encounters this year they were not catastrophic, though they have slowed me down some. This was also the year that my eyesight required some surgery and made my night driving a little more difficult I am still mobile.

The biggest change has been my wife’s health. Her near death episode followed by her limited short term memory has changed the way we live. She can no longer drive so my daughters and I are her chauffer’s these days. I also continue to provide nourishment and even some nurturing each day. We have had more than sixty years together and we have never been closer than we are now. Nancy has never needed much help in the past, now she does and rather than being a burden it provides me the opportunity to do what I can to make her life happy.

So my friends I I hope you have had a good year and that you will have an even better one when we start 2019 together next week.

Recipe for a Happy New Year

Anonymous

    Take twelve fine, full-grown months; see that these are thoroughly free from old memories of bitterness, rancor and hate, cleanse them completely from every clinging spite; pick off all specks of pettiness and littleness; in short, see that these months are freed from all the past—have them fresh and clean as when they first came from the great storehouse of Time. Cut these months into thirty or thirty-one equal parts. Do not attempt to make up the whole batch at one time (so many persons spoil the entire lot this way) but prepare one day at a time.

    Into each day put equal parts of faith, patience, courage, work (some people omit this ingredient and so spoil the flavor of the rest), hope, fidelity, liberality, kindness, rest (leaving this out is like leaving the oil out of the salad dressing— don’t do it), prayer, meditation, and one well-selected resolution. Put in about one teaspoonful of good spirits, a dash of fun, a pinch of folly, a sprinkling of play, and a heaping cupful of good humor.

~~~

◦“We all get the exact same 365 days. The only difference is what we do with them.”

Hillary DePiano

~~~

More medical terms I learned:

Protein — favoring young people

Rectum — damn near killed ’em

Rheumatic — amorous

Secretion — hiding anything

Terminal illness — sickness at airport

Urine — opposite of you’re out

Varicose — located nearby

Vein — conceited

~~~

MOTHER’S DAY – Nine months after fathers day.

~~~

Well, there was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes.  So one evening she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke.  She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,

“I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes.  I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do…I memorized all the state capitals.”

One of the guys, of course, said “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?”

“N”, she answered.

~~~

“I was high on life, but eventually I built up a tolerance.”

Arj Barker

~~~

~~~

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young blonde woman. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Silverman, and said, “That will teach you to pinch!”

Bewildered, Mr. Silverman was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, “I . . . I didn’t pinch that girl.”

“Of course you didn’t,” replied his wife, consolingly. “I did.”

~~~

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.

~~~

Q: What did the Jewish Mother ask her daughter when the daughter told her she had an affair?

A: Who catered it?

~~~

The obstetrician was used to seeing some unusual tattoos when he was working in labor and delivery.

One patient had some type of fish tattoo on her abdomen. “That sure is a pretty whale,” the doctor commented.

With a sad smile, she replied, “It used to be a dolphin.”

~~~

Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.

~~~

My Dad has a sure way to keep my Mom from buying an outfit.

When she tries it on, he says, “I love that middle-aged look it gives you.”

~~~

“Let me give you a New Year message: Believe in yourself, because no one ever achieved anything significant without believing in himself and no one ever will! Believe in yourself powerfully, especially when there is no reason left to believe in yourself because the ultimate bottom is the best place to start a big rise!”

Mehmet Murat Ildan

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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I am glad you are here

Ray’s Daily

December 28, 2017

mailto:ray@iquest.net

Good friends help you to find important things when you have lost them… your smile, your hope, and your courage.

Doe Zantamata

o-FRIENDSHIP-facebook

Soon it will be a New Year and it will be the eighteenth year for Ray’s Daily. I sent the first issues to a few friends in 2000. Never did I think it would continue this long or with so many readers. New ones join us almost weekly.

I am frequently asked by folks and even by myself what motivates me to continue. I have little pride of authorship, especially since so much of the content is from others. My answer usually is I do it because it is therapeutic, stopping to think five times a week about our world and our place in it is worth the effort. But as you can see from this note I just received from someone I have not seen in years, the daily helps to cement my friendships.

Dear Ray,

Thank you for helping me get started and get through my days this year.  Your Daily is very inspirational and appreciated.  I often forward to my friends and family.

I’m glad you had a nice Christmas with your family.  Family is the most important in life.  I’m glad you are my friend.

Gunta

Gunta is a special lady who spends much of her time serving others, I am glad that we met so many years ago. Friends are what many of us depend on and I do appreciate each of you. Here is a poem that I like, I hope you will too.

A Friend

By Stephen Wayne Modawell

 Where do they come from

Ones who just appear in life

Some finer than rum

Others closer than man an’wife

 

They may not be old

without them, what was before

Their warmth, on days’ cold

Their presence we seek but more

 

How we want many

Yet we find so very few

treasured like a new penny

Their value great, one will do

 

When found, never let go

Too many years may pass, you see

Before God allows to flow

The gift of a friend like thee.

~~~

You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Bernard Meltzer

~~~

Since I won’t be with you for New Years I thought you might benefit from the following advice.

If you are sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.

Stop exercising.

Read less.

Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.

Procrastinate more.

Spend more time at work.

Take a vacation to someplace important: like to see the largest ball of twine.

~~~

“My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.”

Rita Rudner

~~~

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one.  Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting.  I’m a woman.

Wow, just look at our cars!  There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.  This must be a sign that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied, “I agree with you completely.  This must be a sign!”

The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle.  My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break.  Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man.  The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No.  I think I’ll just wait for the police.”

~~~

Is it because light travels faster than sound why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

~~~

Mr. Smythe was giving his second-grade students a short lesson in science. He explained about magnets and demonstrated how they pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time…

“Class,” said Mr. Smythe, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick things up…. What am I?”

A little boy in the front row said, “You’re a mother!”

~~~

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball.  Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.

“Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven.  “But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and the best coaches.”

“I know, and that’s all right,” Satan answered. Unperturbed, “We’ve got all the umpires.”

~~~

A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

~~~

A loaded minivan pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters’ father, “That, sir, is some display of teamwork.”

The father replied, “I have a system; no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up.”

~~~

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I know today is going to be better

Ray’s Daily

December 27, 2017

mailto:ray@iquest.net

Two men look out through the same bars:

One sees the mud, and one the stars.

FREDERICK LANGBRIDGE

stay poitive

As you know some days are better than others. Yesterday was one of the not so good ones for me, I went to the Bureau Motor Vehicles think I knew exactly were it was, either some one sold the building or I was wrong. I went to a couple of stores to purchase something my wife wanted and someone had already bought all both stores had, I then went to get Ice from my refrigerator and found that the ice maker had quit working. And to top things off just as I was putting dinner on the table a toilet over flowed flooding the bathroom

You want to know what was good about yesterday? It is going to make today seem so much better than it might of without yesterday. I really think a happy lifre is dependent on how we see things. Here is a story that reminds us that how we see our world is up to us.

The Two Travelers

There was once a traveler who was walking from a village in the mountains to a village in the valley. As he walked along, he saw a monk working in a field, so he stopped and said to the monk, “I’m on my way to the village in the valley, can you tell me what it’s like?”

The monk looked up from his labor and asked the man where he had come from. The man responded, “I have come from the village in the mountains.”

“What was that like?”  the monk asked.

“Terrible!”  the man exclaimed, “no-one spoke my language, I had to sleep on a dirt floor in one of their houses, they fed me some sort of stew that had yak or dog or both in it and the weather was atrocious.”

“Then I think that you will find that the village in the valley is much the same,” the monk noted.

A few hours later another traveller passed by and he said to the monk, “I am on my way to the village in the valley, can you tell what it’s like?”

“Where have you come from?” enquired the monk.

“I have come from the village in the mountains.”

“And what was that like?”

“It was awesome!” the man replied, “No-one spoke my language so we had to communicate using our hands and facial expressions.  I had to sleep on the dirt floor which was really cool as I’ve never done that before.  They fed me some sort of weird stew and I have no idea what was in it but just to experience how the locals lived was great and the weather was freezing cold, which meant that I really got a taste of the local conditions.  It was one of the best experiences of my life.”

“Then I think that you’ll find that the village in the valley is much the same,” responded the monk.

Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.  Don’t allow the challenges of life to take away your joy.

There are lots of reasons to complain and be miserable if that’s how you look at life.

There are lots of reasons to be enthusiastic and joyful if that’s how you look at life.

How do you look at life?

~~~

It’s not that optimism solves all of life’s problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing.

LUCY MACDONALD

~~~

MEMO: PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYEE ASSESSMENT

Subject: Prospective Employee Assessment

To: All Managers

The following guidelines shall be used when hiring new personnel.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

And if they have left early, put them in Sales.

~~~

In front of every silver lining, is a cloud.

~~~

A woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, “Mount Sinai Hospital? Hello. Darling, I’d like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don’t want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse, I want all the information from top to bottom.”

The voice on the other end of the line said, “Finkel… Finkel, Let me see… Feinberg, Farber — Finkel. Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals, her doctor says if she continues improving he is going to send her home Tuesday.”

The woman said, “Thank God! That’s wonderful! She’s going home on Tuesday. I’m so happy to hear that. That’s wonderful news.”

The guy on the other end said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be one of the close family.”

She said, “What close family? I’m Sarah Finkel! My doctor tells me nothing!”

~~~

If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister?

~~~

A woman walked up to the manager of a department store.
“Are you hiring any help?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “We already have all the staff we need.”
“Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?” she asked.

~~~

You don’t have to be in Who’s Who to know what’s what.

Bennett Cerf

~~~

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.

“This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?”

“No, madam,” replied the attendant.  “That one’s called a mirror.”

~~~

“When you’re focused on finding a positive angle to challenges or looking for the bright side to life, you find yourself being more optimistic.”

Alex Uwajeh

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Have you decided what you are going to do?

Ray’s Daily

December 26, 2017

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

live

We had a great time with our family yesterday as we celebrated the Christmas holiday. This morning I slept in a little and now must start a day full of errands, I won’t even have time to go to the gym for a morning workout. I hope you don’t mind that I am sending you a past daily from years back. This one’s message still has value.

Ray’s Daily first published on December 26, 2012

Christmas is now behind us and I hope yours was as good as ours was. Now we are in the final days of another year, a good time to reflect on the last twelve months, put them behind us and get ready for a great 2013. We have a choice, we can go with the flow in 2013 and continue as we have or we can decide now is a great time to reward ourselves by doing what we have put off doing for too long. I have found that it is much better to be remembered for what we have done, even with the missteps, than it is to either be remembered for what we did not do or even worse not be remembered at all.

Unfortunately too many of us find it easy to excuse ourselves from doing much of significance. We feel that we just can’t take on any more, we just don’t have time. In reality most of us have forgotten how to set priorities and spend so much time on things that are not really important that we have little time left for what is important.

Marc and Angel Hack recently offered a realistic analysis of why so many of us just never reach our potential. Here is what they wrote:

Here are eight reasons so many of us miss out on life as it’s happening.

The fear of missing out. – If you feel anxious because you constantly feel like you’re missing out on something happening somewhere else, you’re not alone.  We all feel this way sometimes.  But let me assure you, you could run around trying to do everything, and travel around the world, and always stay connected, and work and party all night long without sleep, but you could never do it all.  You will always be missing something.  So let it go, and realize you have everything right now.  The best in life isn’t somewhere else; it’s right where you are, at this moment.  Celebrate the perhaps not altogether insignificant fact that you are alive right now.  This moment, and who you are, is absolutely perfect.

Avoiding pain and defeat. – Not to spoil the ending for you, but everything is going to be OK – you just need to learn a lesson or two first.  Don’t run from the realities of the present moment.  The pain and defeat contained within is necessary to your long-term growth.  Remember, there is a difference between encountering defeats and being defeated.  Nothing ever goes away until it teaches you what you need to know, so you can move on to the next step.

Holding on to what’s no longer there. – Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting past memories, and letting them steer the course of the present.  Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place.  Let the past, go.  You must accept the end of something in order to begin to build something new.  So close some old doors today.  Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere.

Retelling a self-defeating story. – If we continue to repeat a story in our head, we eventually believe that story and embrace it – whether it empowers us or not.  So the question is: Does your story empower you?  Don’t place your mistakes on your mind, their weight may crush your current potential.  Instead, place them under your feet and use them as a platform to view the horizon.  Remember, all things are difficult before they are easy.  What matters the most is what you start doing now.

Attempting to fit in by becoming someone else. – The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be you, just the way you are in this moment.  We cannot find ourselves if we are always searching for, or morphing into, someone else.  In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.  Be your own kind of beautiful right now, in the way only you know how.

The picture in your head of how it’s supposed to be. – What often screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.  Although every good thing has an end, in life every ending is just a new beginning.  Life goes on – not always the way we had envisioned it would be, but always the way it’s supposed to be.  Remember, we usually can’t choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it.

Berating yourself for not being perfect. – Don’t be too hard on yourself.  There are plenty of people willing to do that for you.  Do your best and surrender the rest.  Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment.  And that is all I can expect of anyone, including me.” 

Waiting, and then waiting some more. – Stop waiting for tomorrow; you will never get today back.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past.  It doesn’t matter how low or unworthy you feel right now.  The simple fact that you’re alive makes you worthy.  Life is too short for excuses.  Stop settling.  Stop procrastinating.  Start today by taking one courageous step forward.  If you are not sure exactly which way to go, it is always wise to follow your heart.

~~~

“The life you have left is a gift. Cherish it. Enjoy it now, to the fullest. Do what matters, now.”

Leo Babauta

~~~

The church was celebrating Communion.  During the “children’s sermon,” the minister was talking about Communion and what it is all about.  “The Bible talks of Holy Communion being a ‘joyful feast’.  What does that mean? Well, ‘joyful’ means happy, right?  And a feast is a meal.  So a ‘joyful feast’ is a happy meal.  And what are the three things we need for a happy meal?”

Little Johnny put up his hand and said, “Hamburger, fries, and a regular soft drink?”

~~~

It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.

~~~

Four members of the clergy had a theological argument, with the three male ministers siding against the female minister.

The woman prayed, “Lord, I know I’m right.  Please send us a divine sign to prove it.” A big storm cloud materialized, and there was a clap of thunder, “See,” said the woman. “It’s a sign from above.”

The three clergymen disagreed, saying thunder is a common phenomenon.

“Dear Lord,” the woman prayed, “I need a bigger sign.” This time a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree. “See! I told you I was right,” the woman said.

But the men insisted nothing had happened that couldn’t be explained by natural causes.

“Help me, Lord,” the woman implored.  And a deep voice came from the heavens: “SSSHHHEEE’S RRRIIIGGGHHHTTT!!!” The woman turned to the three clergymen and asked, “Well?”

“So, okay,” they said. “Now it’s three against two.”

~~~

You can’t turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again.

~~~

The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition.  Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower.  Their line had included Senators and Wall Street wizards. Now they decided to compile a family history, a legacy for the children.  They hired a fine author.  Only one problem arose — how to handle that great-uncle who was executed in the electric chair.

The author said he could handle that chapter of history tactfully.

The book appeared.  It said that “Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties and his death came as a real shock.”

~~~

“A simple life is not seeing how little we can get by with—that’s poverty—but how efficiently we can put first things first. . . . When you’re clear about your purpose and your priorities, you can painlessly discard whatever does not support these, whether it’s clutter in your cabinets or commitments on your calendar.”

Victoria Moran

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

I wish you peace

Ray’s Daily

December 22, 2017

mailto:ray@iquest.net

Christmas isn’t a season. It’s a feeling.

Edna Ferber

peace

It will be Christmas in a few days, it is a national holiday here in the US. We will close down the Daily in order to spend time with family and friends. We should be back on the 26th. While it is a season that focuses on celebration reality sometimes dampens the spirit. I just learned that one of my son-ib-laws mother just passed away ill and I grieve for her family’s loss.

My personal auto, an all-time favorite, will soon be sold as my wife’s illness has removed the necessity of our having two cars. I have found that aging is more than just dealing with aches and pains, it also requires a mastery of coping with what goes on around you. This season we will celebrate but also find solace from our loved ones.

That reality triggered my wanting to share the following edited article wit you today.

How to Deal with the Holiday Stress: 5 Timeless Tips

by Henrik Edberg

The holidays are upon us. A time of needed relaxation and more time with the people closest to us. So today I would like to share 5 powerful and timeless tips that can help you to make these holidays a more joyful and peaceful time.

Slow down.

First, slow down. Even if it may feel silly and if you have to force it a bit. Slow down your body, move and walk slowly. Breathe slower and more deeply with your belly (and focus on doing just that for two minutes and see what happens). Slow down your eating (this will not only help you to relax, it will also help you to not eat too much during the holidays since it takes about 20 minutes for your brain to register that you are full). Slow it all down and pay attention to what you are doing. Be here now and focus on doing just one thing at a time. By slowing down, by being here now, by not having your focus split between many things you – your body and your mind – start to relax.

Appreciate the little things instead of focusing on perfection.

Daily happiness is to a large part about appreciating the small things. If you just allow yourself to be happy when accomplishing a big goal or when everything lines up just perfectly then you are making life harder than it needs to be. Instead, focus on appreciating things that you may take for granted.

Give a bit of joy to someone else.

This may sound like an empty cliché but it surely works. One of the best ways to become happier is simply to make others happier. When you make someone else happy you can sense, see, feel and hear it. And that happy feeling flows back to you. And since the Law of Reciprocity is strong there is another upside. People will feel like giving back to you. Or like paying it forward to someone else.

Focus on what is most valuable.

Instead of focusing on a lot of things focus on what is most important and valuable to you. If you still have Christmas gifts to buy then instead of giving away a lot of expensive stuff it may be better to give one thing that the person you are giving it to will truly appreciate. Or maybe you could skip giving a physical thing altogether. And instead give away an experience that will become a special day and cherished memory for him or her or for the two of you.

Just accept how you feel right now.

Maybe you try some of the tips above. And they still can’t help you to shake that negativity, worries or stress you are carrying around. I would then suggest that you just accept that the feeling is there. Tell yourself: This is how I feel right now and I accept it. By accepting what is you have now freed up energy and your attention so your mind can become more level-headed, open and constructive once again. And you can see more clearly and take focused action towards a solution.

~~~

Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most.

 Ruth Carter Stapleton

~~~

A man who is an avid golfer finally gets a once-in-a-lifetime chance for an audience with the Pope. After standing in line for hours, he gets to the Pope and says, “Holiness, I have a question that only you can answer. You see, I love golf, and I feel a real need to know if there is a golf course in heaven. Can you tell me if there is?”

The Pope considers for a moment, and says, “I do not know the answer to your question, my son, but I will talk to God and get back to you.”

The next day the man is called for another audience with the Pope to receive the answer to his question. He stands before the Pope, who says, “My son, I have some good news and some bad news in relation to your question. The good news is that heaven has the most fabulous golf course that you could imagine and is in eternally perfect shape.”

“And what’s the bad news?” asks the man.

“You tee-off tomorrow morning,” the Pope replies.

~~~

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

David H Comins

~~~

A lawyer was cross-examining a witness: “You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 p.m.? How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?”

“No,” the witness said. “I looked at the sundial in the garden.”

“That’s absurd,” screamed the lawyer. “How could you tell time by a sundial at 11:32 at night?”

“I had a flashlight,” the witness said.

~~~

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.

Teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?”

Grandpa replies, “Nope.”

The teen says, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?”

Grandpa replies, “A wedding ring.”

~~~

The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas.

W C Jones

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

What do you see?

Ray’s Daily

December 21, 2017

mailto:ray@iquest.net

Pay Attention. Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.

Mary Anne Radmacher

Erick

My grand nephew Erick Pickersgill has gained international fame for his photo series Removed (http://www.ericpickersgill.com/removed). Media all over the world has reported on his work and his plea for us to set aside our phones once in awhile and pay attention to the world around us, He has done TED talks as well as numerous interviews on the social phenomenon that has distracted so many of us.

There is a lot to be said for stopping to smell the roses. There is a world all around us that we can appreciate if only we see it. Here is a short story that suggests that you and I can benefit by paying attention to what is happing as we go through our days.

Find a Release

by: K.C. Leong

Open your eyes. What do you see? Do you see the crowds of people walking around? Look at their faces. Curious looks, snobs, anger, expressionless looks, looks of concentration. Did you notice the person that was smiling at you? Look again. See the trees waving to you in greetings?

 Concentrate now on your hearing. What do you hear? Traffic? Discussions on the latest gossip? People on the cellular phones that are trying to compete with the noise? Cursing and swearing? Or the radio / television of your neighbors? But do you hear the songs of praises the birds in the day sings for you, or the lullaby the insects orchestrate for you in the night?

 Now smell the air. Exhausts? Odors you feel repulsive? Smell again. Concentrate this time. You will find the fragrance of the perfect blossom.

Focus your senses to your skin. Feel the heat? The humidity? But did you not also notice the breeze that is gently trying to cool you? Feel the frost of the winter, biting through all your insulation. Again feel the warmth that the sun is wrapping around you in a warm embrace. And the warmth that is already within you that your heart is circulating.

 There is always comfort around us if you know where to look. There is too much distractions in this society. Focus your senses in the correct way and you will find a release.

~~~

“Who doesn’t want to know that we notice them and value them? And who might respond to us better when they feel that they matter? It probably cannot be overstated – it matters…that people matter.”

Steve Goodier

~~~

The 4 toughest questions for men are:

  1. What are you thinking about?
  2. Do you love me?
  3. Do I look fat?
  4. Do you think she is prettier than me?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly ( i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?   The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.”

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

Baseball.

Football.

Question # 2: Do you love me?   The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.”

Question # 3: Do I look fat?   The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!”

Among the incorrect answers are:

Compared to what?

I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.

A little extra weight looks good on you.

Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?   Once again, the proper response is always: “Of course not!”

Incorrect responses include:

Yes, but you have a better personality.

Not prettier, but definitely thinner.

Not as pretty as you when you were her age.

~~~

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

Mark Twain

~~~

Near St. Vincent’s Hospital in New York City, I noticed two firefighters standing at the door of their ambulance. The window was partly down, and they were talking to a small child inside, instructing her how to open the latch. Nearby, a young mother looked on patiently.

Assuming they had invited the curious girl into the ambulance to check it out, and she’d locked the doors by mistake, I said, “She locked herself in, eh?”

“No, we locked ourselves out,” one of the men said.  “We borrowed her from her mother because she could fit through the open space in the window.”

~~~

An old maid was complaining to the police about an obscene phone call. “And for an hour and a half, that terrible man was saying the filthiest things he wanted to do to me… ”

~~~

A big, burly man visited the pastor’s home and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

“Madam,” he said in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.”

“How terrible!” exclaimed the preacher’s wife. “May I ask who you are?”

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes and sobbed, “I’m the landlord.”

~~~

“Now I feel free, and hope is creeping back. Maybe because I’m paying attention to what I have rather than what’s missing.”

Doug Cooper

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Let’s do it

Ray’s Daily

December 20, 2017

ray@iquest.net

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”

Mother Teresa

you are special

Wouldn’t it be great if we made 2018 one of our best years? A year where we did not let the ill will of others take us down. I think if we go on positive offense we will not need to waste our time on a useless defense hoping that happiness will be the result.

I like Mother Theresa’s hope for us all. She is offering us the chance to go on a love offence, a plan where we can help to make the lives of others better. I know many folks think that loving your fellow man is passé, but without it what hope do we have?

So as I look forward to the New Year I am hoping there will be many who will see the opportunity outlined in the following article. I have had to make minor edits but it’s value remains.

One Positive Promise for a Truly LOVING 2018

By Zeenat

We often think that someday we will settle old scores. Someday we will muster the courage to speak to that person. Someday we will go and have a chat with the quite lady at the end of the street. Someday we will ask for that raise we so badly deserve. Some day we will face our fears. Someday………

With the New Year 2018 at the Horizon, we are all in the new year resolution mood. How many of us make them and break them. More so because we make them out of tradition and not love.

Think and decide to do something for the sheer love of it, and see how you follow through with your decisions.

Why must we keep putting off what we can do now for tomorrow or some day or the new year??  In the true sense of it, this “someday” never really comes. All we have is “Today”. And if we don’t do something today, we will never really get to it tomorrow either. We will still have the same excuse we have today.

I want to take the plunge and do something Today!!!

Today I resolve to embrace each and every person that comes my way with Love straight from the bottom of my heart. I will shine a heart smile to every soul I encounter. Yes, today!! Are you with me? Will you take this small step today in spreading the love?

When all you do and say shines with love, every resolution easily gets done, every task is with passion, every moment is memorable. Lets be loving to ourselves too in this New Year. Allow yourself to BE your truest self without judgment. Embrace your flaws and Shine your loving self anyway. Because when love comes from the inside out, it is in its purest form…and absolutely accepted by everyone around you too.

Won’t that make for a positively loving year ahead? Take that 2018, we are ready for you with LOVE as the only ammunition we will ever need.

~~~

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

Years ago I lived in a three story apartment building on the North side of Chicago. We parked on the street and when we had a heavy snowstorm it was every man for himself as we defended whatever parking place we were able to find.

Here is one story about people shoveling the snow for a parking space in front their house. What happens is that somebody will park in a nearby parking lot, then slave away for however many hours it takes to shovel out a car sized space in front of his house, naturally so he can park his car there. Then he goes back to the lot to get his car. When he returns home, he finds that the space has been taken by some other car. He is, well, upset.

What most people do is write nasty notes etc. and place them on the windshield of the offending vehicle. Where the police get involved, however, is the occasional case where the individual vents his wrath in somewhat more violent means. Tires and throats have been slashed over this.

One time a fellow got creative. Instead of doing the usual nasty, he got out his garden hose and watered the automobile down, real well. I mean, very, very thoroughly. The water, of course, froze solid. When the owner returned, instead of a car, he found a car-sized Popsicle.

The note on the car read: “You want the space? Here, it’s yours until spring!

~~~

I have a seven-figure income. Unfortunately, there’s a decimal point involved.

~~~

The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for the day. Kelly (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself. This is the actual conversation of the telephone call.

Kelly: “Hi, I’m calling to report that Kelly so-in-so is unable to make it to school today because she is ill.

Secretary at high school: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll note her absence. Who is this calling?”

Kelly: “This is my mother.”

~~~

When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

~~~

An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.

“I can’t stop!” she shrilled. “What should I do?”

“Brace yourself,” advised her husband, “and try to hit something cheap.”

~~~

Dear IRS: I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

~~~

A pastor wanted to find out how the children were coming along in their Bible classes. So he visited one of them to ask the children a few Bible related questions. “Billy, tell me who tore down the walls of Jericho?” asked the pastor. Billy replied very seriously, “Pastor, I don’t know who did it, but I sure do know I didn’t do it!”

The pastor left the room stunned. It troubled him so much that he decided to tell one of his best elders what Billy said. The elder thought for a moment and said, “Well, pastor, let me tell you. I know the boy and his family real well. If he said he didn’t tear it down, you can be assured he didn’t do it. I say we forget the whole thing and use the money in the miscellaneous fund to rebuild it.”

~~~

“Greet everyone you meet with a warm smile. No matter how busy you are, don’t rush encounters with co-workers, family and friends. Speak softly. Listen attentively. Act as if every conversation you have is the most important thing on your mind today. Look your children and your partner in the eyes when they talk to you. Stroke the cat, caress the dog. Lavish love on every living being you meet. See how different you feel at the end of the day.”

Sarah Ban Breathnach

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

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