Ray's musings and humor

Archive for January, 2014

How do I look?

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.

Voltaire

 lifegoeson

Here it is, my birthday. If I would have known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself. What do you think, do I look more mature? Actually I think I may be getting less mature and it is a great way to go. As I age many things don’t seem as important as they seemed in the past and looking back not that many really were.

All my life I have been surprised and sometimes even shocked by all the things I have been allowed to see and do. Joining the Navy reserve as young as I did, being allowed to leave high school early so I could enter an engineering school, being called into the Navy at 16 and then being selected for one year of training on advanced gear, serving on an aircraft carrier that took me around the world, my long computer industry career and my Kiwanis/UNICEF days all have meant so much to the quality of my life. My life’s highlight was meeting my wife of 60 years on a blind date in New York and getting married not too much after that which resulted in our super family. Kids and grandkids will join me tonight for a birthday celebration as will my only sibling and his wife. My brother is a world traveler and spent most of the last 30 years out of the country and even now spends most of the year on his boat cruising the canals and rivers of Europe so our getting together is a rare experience. Yes I am amazed that my life has included extensive world travel as well as new friends from all walks of life. I also have had the opportunity to spend much of my time doing what I could for others.

I have been publishing this Daily for fourteen years, I never planned to do that, it just kept going and I am glad it has for it forces me to think about the world around me most every day. But what is even better is that I get to spend a few minutes with you and other readers five days a week which has resulted in my making new friends while I keep current with old friends, some who I have known for more than fifty years.

Thank you all for being there, you add meaning to my long life.

~~~

It takes a long time to become young.

Pablo Picasso

~~~

It is hard to believe that: I am 5 years older than Ted Koppel and 11 years 5 months older than George W. Bush.

That I was:

28 years old at the time President Kennedy was assassinated

22 years old when the Soviet satellite Sputnik 1 was launched

18 years old at the end of the Korean War (I had been called into the Navy at 16 and was then on the aircraft carrier USS Wasp in Asian waters)

10 years old when the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima

6 years old at the time of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor

I remember vividly all of these events, even the attack on Pearl Harbor. I had hoped we would have seen a more tranquil world by now, with everyone sharing in the bounty that could be ours if only we were not driven by war, ideology, and ethnic and cultural conflicts. Maybe you who are younger can do a better job.

~~~

The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.

James Allen

~~~

Itzic is dying in hospital. He asks for the Greek Orthodox priest to be called so that he can dictate his last will and testament. The priest arrives and Itzic starts to dictate. “One third of my wealth is to go to the Jewish school for girls. A second third is for the Jewish school for boys. The priest writes as asked.

“The last third I leave to the Rabbi to build a library,” Itzic continues.

The priest writes then asks, “As you are leaving your entire wealth to The Jewish community, why did you call me and not the Rabbi?”

“Are you crazy?!” screams Itzic. “The Rabbi in the contagious diseases ward?”

~~~

It isn’t difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill – just add a little dirt.

~~~

WE MUST STOP THIS SINISTER PLOT!

Have you ever noticed that as the years go by, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper, groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was horrified to discover how long our street had become! I never noticed when I was younger that it’s been changing!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also have a feeling that these people are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, something has been making people who used to be my own age so much older than I am.

I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection…. and I noticed that even mirrors were not made the way they used to be!

The people who make bathroom scales are in on it as well. Do they think I actually believe the number I see on that dial? Hah! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on — but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here! All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon *everyone* will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

~~~

“The best way to get people to think out of the box is not to create the box in the first place.”

Martin Cooper

~~~

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Johnny, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”

Johnny burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”

~~~

“The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth, they are the ones worth celebrating.”

Jarod Kintz

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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I ran out of time

The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it.

Plutarch

~~~

 time

I was up late last night soliciting items for a silent auction that will raise money to help hundreds of kids. I am up early this morning for a six am meeting, a 7 AM appointment and then off to my heart doctors to check on my recovery progress. So rather than send you something really dumb I am again going back to something from the past.

 

Ray’s Daily first published on January 30, 2003

As I reported yesterday I was attending a teleconference with an expert on the Middle East. Most of the red flags raised were about what might happen in a post-war Iraq. There is a potential for civil war, population upheavals, and more. We have been led to believe that the Kurds, Sunnis, and Shiites all are neatly living in their own geography and that democracy might result in some sort of state system were each was semi-independent. It turns out that this is not the reality. The Kurds have two separate camps that are ready to go at each other. Sunnis and Shiites, as well as Christians live side by side. Any effort for forced partitioning would result in massive relocations. Bottom line: it won’t be easy, it won’t be quick, and it won’t be cheap.

One of the things that really bothered me was the polarization within our Indianapolis group. It generally was felt that the media was at fault for providing misinformation. For one camp it was the liberal press, for the other it was the conservative press, it turns out they were talking about exactly the same newspapers and electronic media sources. As I listened I felt that each was sure they knew all the answers as they had a their own reliable source outside of the mainstream; a liberal or ultra-conservative talk show, a biased cable network show, or an opinion driven publication. Anything that was not in line with their source had to be wrong, thus the mainstream press was too liberal or too conservative even though it is the same press. I worry that this gravitation to only what we emotionally agree with results in closed minds and a barrier to reasoned solutions to our problems. Maybe the students have it better than we do; they start with an open mind.

~~~

Learning is not attained by chance. It must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.

Abigail Adams

~~~

There was a case in one hospital’s Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery … as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays. So a World-Wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck

11… Pookie Johnson, The part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

 

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

There now, feeling better?

~~~

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”

Winston Churchill

~~~

Old Jacob Rabinowitz, a raging hypochondriac, was convinced that the pain on his left side was appendicitis. Mrs Rabinowitz explained that the appendix is on the right. “So, aha! THAT’s why it hurts to much,” said Jacob. “My appendix is on the wrong side!”

~~~

“A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, “Excuse me, did you want that cart?”

“No,” he answered. “I’m only after one thing.”

As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, “Just like a man.”

~~~

God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts…

~~~

Legend has it that football great Bronco Nagurski opened a gas station upon retirement from the NFL. A visitor to town asked whether or not he was successful. “Once someone gets gas from Bronco, they never go anyplace else”, a local told him.

“Is the service that good?” asked the visitor.

“No, not really.” said the local.

“Does he have the best price?”

“About the same as everybody else.”

“Then the gas must be better.”

“No, it’s just regular gas.”

“Then why does everyone keep coming back to Bronco?”

“Because when Bronco Nagurski puts your gas cap on, no one but Bronco Nagurski can get it back off.”

~~~

If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher.

~~~

When an applicant asked if the company had a fitness program, the human resources manager replied, “Oh, our employees don’t need one. They are routinely jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, beating around the bush, running down the boss, going around in circles, dragging their feet, dodging responsibility, passing the buck, climbing the ladder, wading through paperwork, pulling strings, throwing their weight around, stretching the truth, bending the rules, stabbing others in their backs and pushing their luck!”

~~~

According to a brand new report, this year airline passengers have been subject to longer delays and ruder service than ever before.  When asked about it, a spokesperson for the airlines said, ‘Shut up and get back in line!’

Conan O’Brien

~~~

It’s not what you leave to your children, it’s what you leave in your children

~~~

Justin, 10, had been ill, requiring several doctors’ visits and tests before a specialist came up with the final diagnosis and treatment. Afterwards, his mother asked him if he understood what the doctor had explained to him. “No,” replied Justin, “not really.”

“Okay,” his mother replied, “the doctor said you started with a virus…”

At which point Justin interrupted to ask, “Does that mean I need a new motherboard?”

~~~

Never raise your hand during a hijacking to indicate that you get a kosher meal.

~~~

To act and act wisely when the time for action comes, to wait and wait patiently when it is time for repose, put man in accord with the rising and falling tides (of affairs), so that with nature and law at his back, and truth and beneficence as his beacon light, he may accomplish wonders.

Ignorance of this law results in periods of unreasoning enthusiasm on the one hand, and depression on the other.

Man thus becomes the victim of the tides when he should be their master.

Helena Petrova Blavatsky

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Let it go

Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.

Daphne Rose Kingma

 letting-go

I have written a lot lately about adapting our lives because of our ever changing reality. It is impossible to live in the past and futile to try. In my case age and my recent illness triggered the changes I am currently making. As usual adjustments require forethought and planning. There are so many options that like all good plans priorities need to be set and the changes that provide the greatest likelihood of success chosen. Seldom are radical changes required rather we get to just change the mix keeping those things that we want and can do while stopping those that are no longer practical or that have lost their luster. The gap left behind allows us to add new things that we can do and that will help keep us active.

Yesterday the Chernoffs sent me a list of things I might want to drop as my birthday approaches. I have itemized below a selection from the 50 items on their list that have the most meaning to me.

Things to Let Go of Before Your Next Birthday

  • Let go of what isn’t helping your soul smile and grow. – Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.  Follow a path that moves you.  You are always free to do something that makes you smile.
  • Let go of the baggage you know you need to leave behind. – As we grow older and wiser, we begin to realize what we need and what we need to leave behind.  Sometimes walking away is a step forward.
  • Let go of worrying about everyone else’s opinions of your life. – When writing the story of your life, don’t let someone else hold the pen.
  • Let go of your tendency to avoid problems. – You cannot change what you refuse to confront.
  • Let go of the excuses. – If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way.  If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
  • Let go of the fantasy of perfection. – If you want to get really good at something, let go of the notion of perfection and replace it with the notion of endless playful exploration.
  • Let go of believing the best is behind you. – Your life isn’t behind you; your memories are behind you.  Your life is always right here, right now.  Seize it!  Choose to let each of your experiences today be a gateway to an even brighter tomorrow.
  • Let go of thinking there is a perfect time. – You can’t keep waiting for the perfect moment – it doesn’t exist.  You must dare to do it today because life is too short to wonder what could have been.
  • Let go of letting your daily struggles get the best of you. – Hard times often lead to greatness.  Keep the faith.  It will be worth it in the end.  The beginnings to great things are always the hardest.
  • Let go of excessive worrying. – Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace and potential.  Stop over-thinking everything.  Life is too short.
  • Let go of your superficial judgments. – We meet no ordinary people in our lives.  If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer.
  • Let go of negative influences. – You can’t expect to feel good if you surround yourself with negativity.  Be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you.
  • Let go of yesterday. – Don’t let yesterday steal your present.  Don’t judge yourself by your past; you don’t live there anymore.  Let go, grow, and move forward.
  • Let go of the idea that it’s too late to start over. – Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t.

~~~

One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.

Michael Cibenko

~~~

“The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, “Is this Wilhiam Wagenhoss?” his didn’t sound anything like my name, so I asked, “Who is calling?”

The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber band-Powered Freezer Company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew Wilhiam personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said off to the side, “Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood.” I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I then questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away. My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t tell her for about fifteen minutes.

My meal was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.”

~~~

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

David Letterman

~~~

When my wife and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger’s side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.

“Hey,” I announced to the technician. “It’s open!”

“I know,” answered the young man. “I already got that side.”

~~~

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Emo Philips.

~~~

Three blondes had just bought a can of Pepsi One and were anxious to try it for the first time.

So the first blonde opens the can, the second blonde pours it into three glasses.

The third blonde eyes the three glasses suspiciously and says “I wonder which one has the calorie?”

~~~

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.

WH Auden

~~~

She said: Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time.

“Nonsense,” I said. “Men are good for only one thing!”

“Yes,” my mother interjected, “but how often do you have to parallel park?”

~~~

Letting go helps us to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.

Melody Beattie

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Time to move on

“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.”

Les Brown

 positive_change

I find it difficult to walk away from things I have been doing as routine and yet if we are to get maximum enjoyment out of life we have move on and break the chains that tend to hold us in place. For me it is not that I haven’t liked all I have been doing it is just the realization that there are some things that I can no longer do well. So now is time to move to things that are within my capabilities at least until I find I can again do more. Marc Chernoff has some thoughts on how you can make positive changes and regain a more tranquil life. Here are a few of his suggestions.

 

Stop resisting what is.

Life is a series of continuous natural events and changes.  Don’t resist them; doing so only creates unnecessary stress.  Let the reality of these events and changes take place.  Let them flow.  Or as Henry Wadsworth once said, “For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”

To move forward in life you must first accept the reality of what it is.  This acceptance provides you with an important starting point from which you can move in any direction you choose.  To deny this reality or to fight against the past will merely waste your time and energy.  To wish that things were different, or to pretend that they are, gets you nowhere.

Acceptance is letting go and allowing things to be the way they truly are.  It doesn’t mean you don’t care about improving the realities of life; it’s just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself in the present moment.  This simple understanding is the foundation of acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be peace and growth in your life.

Forgiveness is a big part of this process.  Forgiveness is the acceptance of the present moment, as it is, without attachment to any other time, place, or circumstance.  Almost all negativity is caused by a lack of forgiveness and denial of the present.  Unease, anxiety, guilt, tension, stress, worry, and resentment – all forms of unhealthy attachment – are caused by too much past and future, and not enough presence.

Stop over-complicating things.

There are specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world that you have to understand before you can awaken to a simpler, happier life.  As Einstein once said, “Out of clutter, find simplicity; from discord, find harmony; in the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity.”

Sometimes we make life more complicated than it is.  We attach our happiness to achievement and then look for it in all the wrong ways and in all the wrong places.  Of course, you don’t have to live like this.  If you feel like you are, it’s time to simplify things.  It’s time to clear the air and get back to the basics.

Simplifying is not seeing how little you can get by with – that’s poverty – but how efficiently you can put first things first, and use your time accordingly to pursue the things that make a difference and mean the most to you.  Less really is more.  Instead of adding, improve your life by subtracting.  Get rid of unnecessary clutter, negative influences and toxic relationships

Stop going through the motions without knowing where you’re going.

Life is kind of like climbing a ladder; you can climb the ladder as fast as you want, but it’s going to be a stressful waste of time if you get to the top and realize you’re leaning against the wrong wall.  You need to get this step in your life right to ensure that you are not wasting your energy on goals that you do not truly want to achieve.  Make sure your goals are truly YOURS, and in line with your values.  If you’re striving for someone else’s goals you are never going to be motivated or happy pursuing them.

Stop abandoning your downtime.

Sometimes you just need to rest, think and be thankful.  Go ahead and withdraw from the cares of the world that will not withdraw from you. Every person needs some time away – a few calm moments every day to consciously separate the productive from the busy and the past from the present.  Commitments, obligations, family, employers and friends can exist during this time frame without you.  You deserve this time away in which no problems are faced and no solutions explored.

~~~

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”

Jimmy Dean

~~~

Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed. Never throw out anybody.

Remember: if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

A young man is playing golf with a priest. At a short hole the priest asks, “What are you going to use on this hole son?”

The young man says, “An eight iron, father. How about you?”

The priest says, “I’m going to hit a soft seven and pray.”

The young man hits his eight iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7 iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.

The young man says, “I don’t know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down.”

~~~

If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.

~~~

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”

“Why complain?” said the counselor, “You’re still getting the same service.”

~~~

I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

~~~

Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, “Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.”

“Good,” my dad quickly replied. “Wash it again!”

~~~

Don’t let what you can’t do stop you from doing what you can do.

John Wooden

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ray’s Back

“Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort.”

Jane Austen

 relax

I just returned to the artic like weather in Indianapolis from my rejuvenation hiatus in the Caribbean. Now while avoiding the frigid and blustery weather outside we need to unpack, put the house back in order and try to catch up with everything.

I spent the last week mostly resting and eating so I need to restart my investment in good health. These last few days have convinced me that I need put more time into relaxation on a regular basis if I am going to return to my previous physical capabilities. If you are like I am that is easier said than done. I find it difficult to slow down so I need to change my propensity to jump in whenever the opportunity presents its self. I learned with the recent critical illness that it is not helping anyone if you not able to do what needs to be done.

While I have convinced myself that I am not prone to stress I do know that I do not handle my propensity to take on too much very well. As I wandered the web searching for relaxation tips I ran across the following from the Rush University Medical Center that I think has merit.

Relaxation Tips

In these times, many people live with chronic stress. The first step is recognizing that this is a problem that can have long lasting effects on your health. The single most important thing you can do is try to reduce the stressors in your life. It is unreasonable to expect to remove all stress, but evaluate your life – are you expecting too much of yourself? Once you have reduced your stress to a minimum, try using some of these suggestions to learn to consciously relax.

Breath slowly and deeply — slowing your breath begins the relaxation response.

Start by extending your exhale out for longer than you usually would. Soon you’ll find that your inhales have naturally become slower and deeper.

Regular exercise has been shown to reduce stress — so get moving.

Try meditation — start by being aware of your breathing. One simple technique is to say to yourself “I’m breathing out” as you exhale and say to yourself “I’m breathing in” as you inhale. Start with three minutes and slowly add a minute until you’re able to sit in meditation for 15 minutes.

Join a yoga class — enjoy the deep relaxation at the end of the class.

Schedule relaxing activities regularly, such as:

Go for a relaxing dinner and a movie every Friday night.

Go for a walk through the park after lunch three times a week.

Do something that you enjoy, like a hobby or other fun activity, every Saturday.

Do some volunteer work. You’ll find that you lose your stress as you help others.

Read a book or magazine that you enjoy.

Call and talk to a friend.

Take a long hot shower.

Listen to music that you enjoy.

Have dinner at your favorite restaurant.

Go on a picnic.

Live for the moment.

~~~

Sometimes the cure for restlessness is rest.

Colleen Wainwright

~~~

The doorbell rang and the little girl ran to open the door. In the doorway stood a man with a clipboard. He explained he was from the Census Bureau and wanted to know how many were in the family.

Coming over, drying her hands on her apron, the mother said, “Let’s see. There’s me and my husband, and my children Tracy, Katherine, Amanda, Alfred, Benjamin–”

The census taker interrupted, saying, “I’m not interested in the names. The numbers will be enough.”

The little girl pitched in. “We don’t use numbers. We haven’t run out of names yet!”

~~~

Just remember–when you think all is lost, the future remains.

Robert Goddard

~~~

A woman, having walked all around the cemetery, complains to the caretaker, “I have looked all around, and can not find my husband’s grave.”

“Oh? What name were you looking for?”

“Irving Finkelstein.”

“Hmmmm,” says the caretaker, “must be a mistake somewhere. The only Finkelstein we have is a Rachel Finkelstein.”

“That is no mistake!” says Rachel. “Irving has always put everything in my name!”

~~~

Do unto others — then run !”

Benny Hill

~~~

At the bar one night, a man approached one of the ladies standing near the edge of the dance floor. “Would you like to dance?” he asked.

The girl didn’t even look at him when she replied, “I don’t like this song, and even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you.”

The man immediately said, “Oh, I’m sorry, but you must have misunderstood me. I said, ‘You look fat in those pants.'”

~~~

“Ever notice that a human baby doesn’t walk until it’s tall enough to reach a parent’s hand?”

~~~

Someone sent me an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things you’ve started. It is definitely working for me. I am now making a point of always finishing what I start, and I think I am well on my way toward finding inner peace. Because I care for you, I am passing this wisdom on to you.

Here are the things that I have finished today:

– Two bags of potato chips,

– a strawberry cheesecake,

– a package of Oreo’s,

– a bottle of wine, and

– a large box of chocolates.

I think this really works because I feel better already.

~~~

The best way to get even is to forget..

~~~

A pilgrim was walking across the prairie during the days of the Old West when he came across a small town. Passing through the town, he noticed a saloon and decided to stop and quench his thirst. After ordering a beer, he stood at the bar and observed the other clientele in the saloon.

Suddenly the saloon door swung open, and a cowboy came running in yelling “Big Jake’s comin’!” Within seconds the establishment had cleared, leaving the pilgrim and his beer alone at the bar.

Sure enough, a huge seven-and-a-half foot, 500 pound cowboy came swaggering in, tearing out the front door frame with his broad shoulders. The cowboy looked around the saloon, marched over to the pilgrim, picked him up by the scruff of the neck, and threw him over the bar, bellowing “Gimme a drink!”

The pilgrim complied, placing the almost-full bottle next to the glass on the bar. The cowboy tossed back the drink, then bit the neck off of the bottle and emptied that too.

At that point, the pilgrim, quaking in his boots, asked “Sir, would you care for another?” To which the cowboy replied, “Nope. I gotta go. Big Jake’s comin’!”

~~~

He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul’s estate.

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I am dropping out

“Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to what they want to do.”

Kathleen Winsor

back in a week

Hi everyone. I have news I have decided to take next week off so I can concentrate on rejuvenation. There will be no Dailies next week, don’t worry though; I don’t have any medical challenges. All I am doing is taking a brief period of rest and recreation as a break from all my recent medical challenges. Of course you can always pick up a past Daily at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ there are about 1700 of them stored there

I expect to begin to do whatever I am going to do in the weeks ahead after I wake up from my week-long snooze. What about you, could use a break from all the hectic activity over the holidays, if so please feel free to drop out for a while as I am. If you can’t please keep your finger in the dyke, spread peace in the neighborhood and leave the porch light on until I see you in a week. If you do need a break but don’t have much time to spare you might like to try these tips from WebMD.

 

Give Yourself a Break Today

If you could re-energize, ease stress, and boost your willpower in just 10 minutes, would you do it? Who wouldn’t? By simply taking a break you can reap all those benefits and more. For instance, did you know a rested mind is more likely to stick with healthy habits? So, walk away from your desk and turn off your phone (but not before you finish this article).

Here are five ways to make it happen.

1) Go ahead, try it. Now that you know how important breaks are, taking them will feel useful instead of wasteful. When you return to what you were doing you’ll be more refreshed and ready to dig in. Better focus and attention will lead to better results, too.

2) Estimate your own battery life. When you schedule your day, consider when your body and brain will need a reboot. Say you’re working on a big project. Schedule a break for every 2 hours of focused attention. More frequent mini-breaks may be even better.

3) Take a hike. Not sure what to do with your time? Head outdoors for a walk. Movement isn’t only good for your waistline. It also helps shed stress. Make sure to leave your cell phone and your mp3 player behind. Let nature be your soundtrack.

4) Cut the cord. Constantly checking email after you leave the office? How about when you’re on vacation? Letting work interrupt your personal time isn’t good for your mental health — or your personal relationships. Take time to separate from the office and relax. After all, is the email really that important?

5) Get away — often.  It’s a fact: People who take vacations have lower stress and a less risk of heart disease — not to mention a better outlook on life and more motivation to achieve goals. It doesn’t have to be 2 weeks in Europe, either. Just 24 hours away and you’ll reap the benefits.

~~~

“Life lived amidst tension and busyness needs leisure. Leisure that recreates and renews. Leisure should be a time to think new thoughts, not ponder old ills.”

C. Neil Strait

~~~

The things Our Children Say

* “Close the curtains,” requested our 2 year old grand-daughter, sitting in a pool of bright light. “The sun’s looking at me too hard.”

* My friend asked our grandson when he would turn 6. He replied, “When I’m tired of being 5.”

* As I frantically waved away a pesky fly with a white dishtowel, my granddaughter observed, “Maybe he thinks you’re surrendering.”

* When I asked our grandson if he could name the capital of Florida, he fired right back, “capital F!”

* While shampooing our son, 4, I noted his hair was growing so fast he’d soon need it cut. He replied, “Maybe we shouldn’t water it so much.”

* His mom informed her son, Brian, that she was going outside to get a little sun. “But Mommy, he gulped, “You already have a son — me!”

* When our son asked about two look-alike classmates at school, we told him they were probably twins. The next day, he came home from school all bubbly and said, “Guess what? They are not only twins, they’re brothers!

~~~

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

Bill Cosby

~~~

About a century or two ago, the Pope challenged the Jewish community of Rome to a debate.

The Jews looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So they finally picked an old man named Moishe who spent his life sweeping up after people to represent them. Being old and poor, he had less to lose, so he agreed. He asked only for one addition to the rules of debate. Not being used to saying very much, he asked that neither side be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, “I give up. This man is too good. The Jews win.”

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger, to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him, that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?”

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe, amazed that this old, almost feeble-minded man had done what all their scholars had insisted was impossible. “What happened?” they asked.

“Well,” said Moishe, “first he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here.”

“And then?” asked a woman.

“I don’t know,” said Moishe. “He took out his lunch and I took out mine.”

~~~

Always keep several get well cards on the mantel; if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.

~~~

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. “Joe,” he asked, “which company has the slogan, ‘come fly the friendly skies’?” Joe answered the correct airline.

“Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, “Don’t leave home without it?” Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.

“Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, ‘Just do it’?” And John answered, “Mom….”

~~~

“The really idle man gets nowhere. The perpetually busy man does not get much further.”

Sir Heneage Ogilvie

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Stay healthy, slow down

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

Theodore Roosevelt

 you_can_say_no

OK they convinced me I will do no one any good if I try to go back to all I was doing before my heart failure. I just have to let go and limit my commitments to things I can easily do. That is for at least six months. I guess I agree that a little less stress coupled with being a reliable partner is in everyone’s best interest. I just wish it was easier to let some folks know I won’t be there to share all the good things they do. I also must make people understand that what I continue to do does not mean that I think the things I chose are any better than something else; it just means that I think I will be able to reliably participate. I do plan on continuing to support the things I care about even if it must be from a distance.

Here is an article from the Mayo Clinic that I received that pretty much outlines where I am at.

 

When and how to say no

Sure it’s easier to say yes, but at what price to your peace of mind? Here’s why saying no may be a healthier option for stress relief.

Is your plate piled high with deadlines and obligations? Are you trying to cram too many activities into too little time? If so, stress relief can be as straightforward as just saying no.

Why say no?

The number of worthy requests isn’t likely to lessen, and you can’t add more time to your day. Are you doomed to be overcommitted? The answer is no, not if you’re willing to say no. It may not be the easy way, but it is a path to stress relief. Keep in mind that being overloaded is individual. Just because your co-worker can juggle 10 committees with seeming ease doesn’t mean you should be able to. Only you can know what’s too much for you.

Consider these reasons for saying no:

•Saying no isn’t necessarily selfish. When you say no to a new commitment, you’re honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you’ll be able to devote high-quality time to them.

•Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you’ve always helped plan the company softball tournament doesn’t mean you have to do it forever. Saying no gives you time to pursue other interests.

•Always saying yes isn’t healthy. When you’re overcommitted and under too much stress, you’re more likely to feel run-down and possibly get sick.

•Saying yes can cut others out. On the other hand, when you say no, you open the door for others to step up. They may not do things the way you would, but that’s OK. They’ll find their own way.

~~~

“Only do what only you can do.”

Paul Sloane

~~~

He said I’d rather be a guy because:

If someone forgets to invite me to something, he or she can still be my friend.

My underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

I don’t have to shave below my neck.

None of my coworkers has the power to make me cry.

I don’t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

I can write my name in the snow.

~~~

I’m not afraid of heights. I’m afraid of widths.

Steven Wright

~~~

A pastor walked into a neighborhood bar to use the restroom. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor. As the room quieted down he walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?”

The bartender replied, “I really don’t think you should.”

“Why not?” the pastor asked. “I really need to use a restroom!”

“Well, I don’t think you should. There is a statue of a naked woman in there — and she’s only covered by a fig leaf!”

“Nonsense,” said the pastor, “I’ll look the other way!”

So, the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs, and he proceeded to the restroom.

After a few minutes, he came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again! He went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. When I came in here, the place was hopping with music and dancing. Then the room became absolutely quiet. I went to the restroom, and now the place is hopping again.”

“Well, now you’re one of us!” said the bartender. “Would you like a drink too?”

“But, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled pastor.

“You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time the fig leaf is lifted on the statue, the lights go out in the whole place.

Now, how about that drink?”

~~~

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

~~~

Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.

‘Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called ‘Happy Hour’ and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o’those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O’ course I had to go in for a couple of Guiness – couldn’t be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later ..’ And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection.

The officer sighed, and said, ‘Sir, I’m afraid I’ll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test.’

Indignantly, the man said, ‘Why? Don’t ye believe me?!?’

~~~

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

~~~

TEN REASONS ADAM WAS THE LUCKIEST MAN

1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married.

2. He had no in-laws to drop in.

3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.

4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.

5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen.

6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.

7. He never had to shovel snow!

8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn’t normal.

9. There was no “standard weight and height” tables – and the word FAT meant good.

10. When God asked “Adam, where are you?”  He replied, “The woman you gave me was reading the map.”

~~~

FOR SALE BY OWNER:

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

~~~

At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day’s lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.

“Mr. Goldblatt,” announced little Joey, “there’s somethin’ I can’t figger out.”

“What’s that Joey?” asked Goldblatt.

“Well accordin’ to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?”

“Right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?”

“Er–right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?”

“Again you’re right.”

“An’ the Children of Israel fought the ‘gyptians, an’ the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an’ the Children of Israel wuz always doin’ somethin’ important, right?”

“All that is right, too,” agreed Goldblatt. “So what’s your question?”

“What I wanna know is this,” demanded Joey. “What wuz all the grown-ups doin”?

~~~

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Bernard M. Baruch

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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