Ray's musings and humor

Archive for August, 2018

I like you, do you?

Ray’s Daily

August 31, 2018

“ Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

– Bernard M. Maruch

www.rays-daily.com

like yourself

After just having to go in recent years I am finding the tasks required to facilitate our upcoming relocation to be somewhat daunting. My failing eyesight sometimes make even relatively easy tasks difficult.

The good news is that when I start to get down on myself my family and friends don’t let me slip onyo the doldrums. They not only help with the tasks, they remind me that I am still pretty functional.

The following article reminded me that it does no good to get down on myself. It includes some good advice that most of us can use.

A QUICK, PROVEN WAY TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF

. Dr Tim Sharp

Are there days you don’t feel that great about life or about yourself? if you’re like me and most of us, the answer will definitely be yes!

Some people enjoy high self-esteem and confidence all the time; but they’re in the minority. Most of us feel good about ourselves sometimes, but question our worth and abilities at other times. If you’re human, this is pretty normal.

But the good news is there are scientifically proven ways to enhance the way you feel about yourself; to feel better, more often. Like pretty much everything, it’s easier said than done; and like developing any other new “skill”, it takes practice and perseverance. But it is possible; and you can do it! So if this is of interest to you then keep reading.

A good percentage of us treat others far better than we treat ourselves. We’re kinder and more forgiving, more loving and compassionate to our best friends and family members than we’d ever by to ourselves. But we can use this to our advantage. And one simple way is to try one or more of the following:

What would you say to your best friend about what makes him/her good or great? Could you say that to yourself?

What would your best friend say to you, in all honesty, about your most positive attributes and qualities? And could you say this to yourself?

Keep well & keep smiling

Tim Sharp (aka Dr Happy)

~~~

“ You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

– Maya Angelou

~~~

My cousin, a recent widower, who lives up in the Tampa area thought it might be a good idea to get himself a dog for a bit of companionship. Checking out the pet ads in the local newspaper he came across one that read: “Purebred Police Dog $25”. Thinking that sounded like a pretty fair bargain, he called and ordered the dog to be delivered and paid up-front by credit card.

The very next day a van pulled up and left on his doorstep, in a cardboard kennel, the him mangiest looking mongrel he had ever seen.

In a bit of a rage, he telephoned the man who had placed the ad and shouted over the phone. “What the hell do you mean by calling that mangy mutt a purebred police dog?”

“Hey calm down,” the man responded, “Don’t be deceived by his looks, mister,” “That dog’s under cover and in the Secret Service.”

~~~

“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower

~~~

I was pleased to learn that as men mature they become even more attractive, in their unique, distinguished appearance. Women find them overwhelmingly seductive and can’t help themselves. Although I was not happy to learn that men my age are also a lot more gullible and will believe most anything!

~~~

Never put off until tomorrow what you can forget about entirely.

~~~

Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of speeches. At a banquet the first evening, he noticed some reporters in the audience.

Because he wanted to use some of the stories he told that night in his speeches the next day, he asked the reporters to omit them from their articles.

One article that came out the next day, written by a cub reporter, concluded with this line: “Reverend Smith also told a number of stories that cannot be printed.”

~~~

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainty that just to be alive is a grand thing.

Agatha Christie

~~~

A tired homemaker opened the front door of her home to find a young minister from the neighborhood who said, “I’m collecting donations for the new children’s home we’re building. I hope you’ll give what you can.”

“To be sure,” said the beleaguered woman, “I’ll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each.”

~~~

Ask why until you understand.

~~~

She said: My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.

“I know,” he replied. “It’s a fad me and some of the guys started.”

Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented, “I can’t stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you.” I gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair.

“Yeah,” he said smiling slyly. “All the girls do, too.”

~~~

Have you ever thought that life is a car wash and you are on a bike?

~~~

A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska–a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking.  He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car.  “If we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what would you miss the most?” he asked his wife.

She replied, “You.”

~~~

“ Learn to… be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not.”

– Henri Frederic Amiel

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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We will soon be there

Ray’s Daily

August 30, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.

Henry David Thoreau

Waldon Pond

I am a little under the weather this morning, I think because os a change in my medications so more napping and less computing. I think today’s reprint is appropriate as my wife and I prepare to move to a simpler life.

Ray’s Daily first published on August 30, 2010

The other day my 19 year old grandson asked me what CC meant on his e-mail reader. Of course I told him it meant carbon copy a throw back to the days when we used carbon paper on typewriters. It was then I again realized the intergenerational gap that widens as each year goes by as things change even more rapidly. I don’t think he has ever even seen a typewriter except in old movies.

This brought to mind how I regularly write the daily as if everyone has seen, heard, experienced and learned the same things I have. A case in point is how I often make reference to Thoreau and his Walden Pond experiences without considering the possibility that others are unfamiliar with what he did. Thoreau left the urban life to live more simply in the rural atmosphere of Walden Pond. There he discovered the joy that can come from a simpler life, one not cluttered by what is bought and collected but one that enjoys the abundance that exists all around us that is often overlooked.

A more recent example was what a valued friend told me last week. I have known her for a couple of years. We first met when we worked on what she might do vocationally in the future. She is well educated having an MBA, she ran businesses in Europe and has a wealth of experience. In other words she is someone with a six figure earning potential. I suggested that she figure out how much her and her partner needed to maintain a comfortable life style and then put value on the non-income producing things she could do to live a full and happy life. As the months have gone by we did not talk much about it until last week when she reported with some glee that they had done the assessment and in fact had started to embrace a simpler life style. They decided they really did not need that much money, they have a modest house and economical car that meets their needs, and they have each other. They have put in a garden that provides both beauty and food. She volunteers helping others and has worked with disadvantaged kids. They read, they conserve, they enjoy what they do together and they seem to have discovered a degree of happiness that too many miss these days.

My friend has proven to me that you don’t have to travel to your Walden Pond for it can exist wherever you are, you just have to be able to realize it. There is a joyous freedom that comes from realizing you do not have to prove your worth by the accumulation of material goods; you can prove it by the accumulation of experiences and good work.

~~~

“It is what a man thinks of himself that really determines his fate.”

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

Andy Rooney On Fabric Softener: My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, “Married!” and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it’s hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

~~~

Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast; you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

Eddie Cantor

~~~

Grandma, when you and Grandpa had your first baby, did Grandpa ever handle the middle of the night feeding?”

“No. I always did that.”

“That must have been before you had women’s liberation.”

“No, it was before we had baby bottles.”

~~~

“Old” is when “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.

~~~

A priest was sitting on the steps of the church one spring day enjoying the sunshine.  He saw a young boy approaching him on the sidewalk pulling a wagon.  Every few yards one of the wheels would fall off the wagon, the boy would say “Damn!” put the wheel back on, and continue down the street, and a wheel would fall off again a few yards later.

As the boy neared the steps, the priest saw this as an opportunity to make an impression on the boy, and stopped him.  “You know,” he said to the boy, “when a wheel falls off your wagon, instead of using profanity, you should say ‘Praise the Lord!’ instead.”  He went on to tell the boy how Someone is always watching over us and how we should be careful to do the right thing at all times.

The boy acknowledged his words and thanked him, and went on down the street.  The priest stood there, feeling quite pleased with himself.  About 50 yards away from the steps, all four wheels fell off the wagon, the boy stopped, heaved a huge sigh, and said, “Praise the Lord!” Instantly the wagon raised off the ground, all four wheels returned to their places.

Upon seeing this, the priest said, “Damn!”

~~~

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

Germaine Greer

~~~

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced.  “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?”

Nine hands went up.

“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man.

“Too much trouble,” came the reply.

~~~

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

~~~

Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here’s an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now!

Follow this simple procedure:

1) Hold down the shift key.

2) Hit the 4 key four times.

~~~

“To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you’re overdoing it.”

Josh Jenkins

~~~

An older lady is making her first visit to her new doctor’s office. Before seeing the doctor she is required to fill-out forms. A nurse in the office offers to help her do this. The nurse starts by asking, “How old are you, Mrs. Silver?”

“None of your business,” she responds. The nurse then says, “But the doctor must know your age for his records.”

Mrs. Silver replies, “Okay. Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?”

“Yes.” answers the nurse.

“All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?”

The nurse says, “Zero.”

Mrs. Silver responds, “Right! And that’s exactly the chance of me telling you my age.”

~~~

“Our life is frittered away by detail … simplify, simplify.”

Henry David Thoreau

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Do you know how good you are?

Ray’s Daily

August 29, 2018

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them – every day begin the task anew.”

Saint Francis de Sales

You

Yesterday was a bummer. I tried to set up internet and cable services for our new apartment without success. I went to my ophthalmologist where I learned my vison loss continues and in the near future my eyesight will be so bad I will have to quit driving. All that and other activities kept me from my nap and this morning I am really tired, so I am again digging into the archives for a Daily to reprint.

 

Ray’s Daily first published on August 29, 2013

Have you run into people who seem to have given up on themselves like those I have met? When I do meet them I get distressed since more times than not they are so much better than they think they are. In fact in my experience in most cases they are either in the wrong place or they measure themselves against the wrong standards. I know I do not feel at all bad that I can’t run as fast as the next guy or put in the long hours that are often necessary to earn more than I need.

I wish more people would judge themselves by the friends they have made along the way, the little things they do successfully each day and what is right in their world rather than what is wrong. I think far too many of us hope that great happiness will come someday and all we have to do is wait until then. The problem with that is that it doesn’t take that long for the some-days to run out. So I like to think as St. Francis de Sales counsels that you can begin every day anew and make tomorrow the someday you dream about. Here is an edited article from the Personal Growth blog that can help those what to start.

How to Achieve Self Fulfillment.

Decide What You are Committed to Achieve. − As long as you live, you must have goals and dreams that will inspire and motivate you to improve. Happiness comes from making your own decisions, putting in your best efforts and living your dreams. You can experience the feeling of self fulfillment when you achieve whatever you have set out to do. Decide and commit yourself and acknowledge that you are responsible to shape your own destiny.

Develop a Sense of Gratitude. − Develop an attitude of gratitude. Find the positive in every situation and look for the good in it. Every setbacks, challenges or efforts that did not culminate as you have hoped, offer a lesson that you can benefit from if you look at it from a different point of view.

Live Your Days with Hope, Faith and Great Expectancy. − Hope and faith are positive and healing emotions. Expecting great things and having faith that they will materialize will influence your outcome. Put yourself in a positive state of mind so that you can focus on what you are committed to achieve.

Set Your Intention to Serve and Add Value to Life. − Regardless of what you are trying to achieve, set out an intention to add more value to your life and that of others. You will feel a sense of self fulfillment when you know that something that you said or did have brought improvement to your life and others.

Acknowledge that You are Worthy. − Knowing and feeling that you are a worthy person in spite of your past mistakes, failures and uncertainties of the future bring comfort to your soul and wellbeing. When you are aware and acknowledge that you do make mistakes but that it’s part of growing and that you don’t have to feel like a failure, it becomes easier for you to feel fulfilled.

Live by Your Personal Values. − Identify your personal values and live by them. Set your priorities right and together with your values, you will make your decisions and take action based on these. You won’t easily get sidetracked and forget about what’s important in your life.

Do Your Best. − You will feel a sense of pleasure when you give your all and do your best. Every action produces results and doing the right things and putting in maximum effort will pay off. Even if you achieve a different result, you will acquire something else worthwhile.

Enjoy the Ride. − Don’t wait until you achieve your goal to feel the sense of self fulfillment. Have fun while you work towards your goals. Plan for your future but live in the present. Go out, meet new people from different cultures and interests, travel and see the world, create a sense of adventure and try many new and different things.

~~~

Learn to be satisfied. It is just as easy as being dissatisfied and much more pleasant.

Jacob de Jager

~~~

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.'”

“See, I have a problem with that passion business,” responded one jury candidate. “During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him.” She wasn’t selected for the jury.

~~~

Andy Rooney on Vegetarians: “Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter.'”

~~~

As I left the grocery store, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.

“I’ll buy a chocolate bar on one condition,” I said to the boys. “You eat it for me.”

I bought one and handed the candy back to one of the boys.

He shook his head. “I can’t,” he said.

“Why not?”

Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, “I’m not supposed to take candy from strangers.”

~~~

Quote from a recent meeting: “We are going to continue having these meetings, every day, until I find out why no work is getting done”.

~~~

Moshe, the owner of a small Kosher New York deli, was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year. “Why don’t you people leave me alone?” the deli owner said. “I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, the place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?”

“It’s not your income that bothers us,” the agent said. “It’s these travel deductions. You listed ten trips to Israel for you and your wife.”

“Oh, that?” the owner said smiling. “Well… we also deliver.”

~~~

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.

J, B. Priestly

~~~

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor. While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided that they should call the police. When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, “This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important.”

Two days went by and the construction workers couldn’t stand it anymore, they had to know who they had found. They called the police and said, “We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important.”

The police said, “It’s not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind of important.”

“Well, who was it?”

“The 1956 National Hide-and-Seek Champion.”

~~~

One of the greatest satisfactions in life comes from getting things done and knowing you have done them to the best of your ability.

Robert W. Bly

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Thanks

Ray’s Daily

August 28, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.”

Henry Ward Beecher

Thankful

As we prepare to move from our home that has provided us so much happiness for more than a quarter century I again realize how much we have to be thankful for. We have survived the storms both real and imagined. I was allowed to participate in a second career that was amazing as it allowed me to do work that made a difference in the health of so many.

My wife and I have been fortunate to have been able to travel extensively leaving us with hundreds of fond memories. But what is really special is the people we have met along the way, people like you. Some were famous and others do what they do quietly. Some were rich, while most were not, but all were good people. We are blessed not by our wealth or fame but by the people who have become our friends.

BE THANKFUL

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary, because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

~~~

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

A millionaire informs his attorney, “I want a stipulation in my Will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death.”

“Why such an odd stipulation?” asks the attorney.

“Because,” he says, “I want someone to be sorry I died.”

~~~

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

~~~

A barber runs out of his shop and down to the nearest corner where a policeman is standing.

“Officer,” he asks, “have you seen a man run by here in the last few minutes?”

“No, I haven’t. What’s the problem?”

“The lousy cheat ran out of my shop without paying me!”

“Does this fellow have any distinguishing features?” the officer asked.

“Well, yes,” the barber replies. “He’s carrying one of his ears in his left hand.”

~~~

Harp: A nude Steinway.

~~~

She said: Sitting at the kitchen table after dinner one night, my son-in-law was telling us that he’d finished his training for volunteer firefighting and was showing us his beeper. As he spoke, the beeper let out a shrill “there’s a fire” message.

Bryan nearly jumped over the table getting to the door.

We watched him as he raced for the car and sped up the block to the fire hall.

“It’s wonderful to know our firemen are trained to respond instantly,” I said to my daughter. “I didn’t know Bryan could move so fast.”

“I hate to burst your bubble, Mom,” she replied, “but the first guy there gets to drive the truck.”

~~~

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.

Louisa May Alcott

~~~

Everyone was surprised when fastidious, virginal Percy lispingly announced his intention to wed.

“What, you, Percy?” was the amazed reaction. Some skeptics made bets that he wouldn’t go through with it, but Percy fooled them. He even went on a honeymoon.

Upon his return, one of the losers bitingly asked, “Well, is your wife pregnant?”

“I certainly hope so,” said Percy with great sincerity. “I wouldn’t want to go through that again!”

~~~

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.

Franklin P. Jones

~~~

The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions.

Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over.

An English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking through a mountain valley that was strewn with rocks, and the traveler asked, “How did these rocks get here?”

“Sir,” said the guide, “They were brought down by a glacier.”

The tourist peered up the mountain and said, “But I don’t see any glacier.”

“Oh, really?” said the guide. “I guess it has gone back for more.”

~~~

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”

Gilbert K. Chesterton

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

What do you see?

Ray’s Daily

August 27, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are.

Jose Ortega y Gasset

Attention

One of the things I really enjoy is hearing from old friends. The other day my friend Vince, a friend from my UNIVAC days who I have not seen in more than 30 years sent me some thought pieces that I want to share with you today.

As I read what he sent I stopped to think about my world and the people in it. I again realized how much the easily overlooked happening’s in our lives can be the most meaningful if we just pay attention.

Today

Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m   working on for my Psychology class.  When I asked her to define success in   her own words, she said;

“Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.”

Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work.   At 3PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got a flat tire.    When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too.

A man in   a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job. I start tomorrow.

Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died.

She simply said, “I feel so loved right now.   We should have gotten together like this more often.”

Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling.   I chuckled and asked, “Why?” She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.” I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save   the planet?”

Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.

Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics, I suddenly realized that, I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.

Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches  with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me.    He helped me all the  way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said,

“I hope you feel better soon.”

~~~

“There’s always more than what meets the eye. If you dig in deep enough and pay attention, you can really see the beauty in a person.”

April Mae Monterrosa

~~~

Blonde Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”

Operator: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand who you are talking about”. Blond Caller: “On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?”

~~~

“He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.”

David Frost

~~~

The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one.

They named it Danny.  Two months later, when Mom found herself responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it. The children took the news of Danny’s imminent departure quite well, though one of them remarked, “He’s been around here a long time–we’ll miss him.”

“Yes,” Mom replied, “But he’s too much work for one person, and since I’m that one person, I say he goes.”

Another child offered, “Well, maybe if he wouldn’t eat so much and wouldn’t be so messy, we could keep him.”

But Mom was firm. “It’s time to take Danny to his new home now,” she insisted. “Go and get his cage.”

With one voice and in tearful outrage the children shouted, “Danny? We thought you said Daddy!”

~~~

“I have everything I had twenty years ago – except that it is now all lower.”

Gypsy Rose Lee

~~~

The Chaplain had been assigned to a large carrier in the Pacific Ocean. It didn’t take him long to notice how much grief the cooks (Mess Specialists) caught from the crew and how they gave back as much as they got. He talked to the Food Service Officer and decided to talk to the cooks and get them to be more cheerful when they served the meals to the sailors coming down the line. “A smile and a cheerful comment, a willingness to serve them will reap great benefits,” he told them.

After his pep talk the Food Service Officer and the Chaplain stood back and watched the food being served. A new sailor aboard walked down the line but he didn’t like anything he saw so he just carried his tray down the line till he got to the desert section. He picked up a saucer containing a large piece of chocolate cake.

The Mess Specialist looked at him, “Is that all you’re gonna eat,” he asked.

The sailor said, “Yeah, the rest of it don’t look too appetizing.”

The Mess Specialist smiled and said, “Well, in that case would you like two pieces of cake?”

The Chaplain smiled and hit the Food Service Officer in the ribs,

“I told you my talk did them some good.”

The kid said, “Yeah, man, I’d appreciate it.”

The cook leaned over and cut the piece of cake on the tray in half.

~~~

Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.

Thomas Fuller

~~~

A woman on a holiday trip stood in awe in front of an enormous tree.

“Oh, marvelous and ancient oak,” she enthused, “if you could only speak, what would you want to say to me?”

A woman standing nearby commented, “It probably would say, “Pardon me, madam, I am an elm.”

~~~

“Who doesn’t want to know that we notice them and value them? And who might respond to us better when they feel that they matter? It probably cannot be overstated – it matters…that people matter.”

Steve Goodier

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Less is More

Ray’s Daily

August 24, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

“Life is lived in the moments of simplicity!”

Avijeet Das

simplify

My wife and me will soon begin our lives in a new environment. We have the choice of regretting what we leave behind or taking advantage of what the future has to offer. In my case I believe less will be more. Less chores means there will be more time to read and enjoy some of the things we have missed.

Having our food prepared and offered in a pleasant setting with others means more human contact, more social opportunities, I will be glad when the move is behind us, a time when we can enjoy a simpler life. A life lived more simply as did the author of the following edited piece.

Key Lessons for Living a Simple Life

BY LEO BABAUTA

I’ve learned some key lessons for living a simple life, and I thought I’d share a few with you.

  1. We create our own struggles. All the stress, all the frustrations and disappointments, all the busyness and rushing … we create these with attachments in our heads. By letting go, we can relax and live more simply.
  2. Become mindful of attachments that lead to clutter and complexity. For example, if you are attached to sentimental items, you won’t be able to let go of clutter. If you are attached to living a certain way, you will not be able to let go of a lot of stuff. If you are attached to doing a lot of activities and messaging everyone, your life will be complex.
  3. Distraction, busyness and constant switching are mental habits. We don’t need any of these habits, but they build up over the years because they comfort us. We can live more simply by letting go of these mental habits.
  4. Single-task by putting your life in full-screen mode. Imagine that everything you do — a work task, answering an email or message, washing a dish, reading an article — goes into full-screen mode, so that you don’t do or look at anything else. You just inhabit that task fully, and are fully present as you do it. What would your life be like? In my experience, it’s much less stressful when you work and live this way.
  5. Create space between things. Add padding to everything. Do half of what you imagine you can do. We tend to cram as much as possible into our days. We never feel like we have enough time because we try to do too much. But what would it be like if we did less? What would it be like if we padded how long things took, so that we have the space to actually do them well, with full attention?
  6. Find joy in a few simple things. For me, those include writing, reading/learning, walking and doing other active things, eating simple food, meditating, spending quality time with people I care about. I can let go of everything else my mind has fixated on, and just find the simple joy of doing simple activities.
  7. Get clear about what you want, and say no to more things. We are rarely very clear on what we want. What if we became crystal clear on what we wanted in life? If we knew what we wanted to create, how we wanted to live … we could say yes to these things, and no to everything else. Saying no to more things would simplify our lives.

~~~

“To realize the soothing power of simple life is to find the secret of happiness!”

Mehmet Murat

~~~

As in many homes on New Year’s Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important – the football games on television or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.

Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.

“See”? She said, continuing to smile, “You didn’t miss a thing.”

~~~

“Looking through the want ads last week, I came across a job that required a college degree or the equivalent. Finally, I thought, my eight years of high school are paying off.”

Buzz Nutley

~~~

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. She said, “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative, ma’am,” the Sergeant Major said,  “Just serious by nature.”

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”

The Sergeant Major’s short reply was,  “Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”

The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, “1955.”

She said, “Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! Isn’t that a little extremeThe Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, “You think so?  It’s only 2130 now.”

~~~

“Be grateful for what you have and you will always have enough.”

Lailah Gifty Akita

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

There is still time

Ray’s Daily

August 23, 2018

www.rays-daily.com

“It ain’t over till it’s over.”

Yogi Berra

Keep Going

Today is loaded with distractions, the cleaning pwple will be here shortly as will the contractors who are replacing our windows. On top of that I have a 9AM appointment, a lunch meeting and then a 2 PM medical appointment. I bet you already guessed, yes, another reprint from the archives.

Ray’s Daily first published on August 23, 2010

As the years go by the game goes on and it ain’t over until it’s over” is as true as it ever was. Some however decide to forfeit and walk away even though there is plenty of time left to play on. What’s even worse are those folks who never even sign up to play.

As the game plays on situations change, incomes rise and fall and some skills wane as new ones develop. The one thing sure is that time marches on and the game continues. Sadly some of us just give up and stop playing, others sit on the bench and just watch while those who stay in the game reap the rewards that come from playing. We may not be as fast as we were but often we are smarter. Sometimes we leave one game to play in another with different demands.

Whatever the case there is always a game and always a place in it for us to play. It is those who do not get defeated by a loss or two and those who hang in there that get there second wind and reap the rewards that come from the thrill of play.

Yep, life is the big game. Each of us is offered the opportunity to play in it, some of us jump at the chance while others need to be dragged unto the field and some just sit down and refuse to play. What is tragic are those that hang back so long that the game ends before they decide to play in it.

What is really neat is that you never have to wait to start. A new game always starts tomorrow and your play does not depend on your past for it was what you do after they shout play ball that counts. Yes life “ain’t never over until it’s over,” that is unless you quit before it ends.

Start Where You Stand

By Berton Braley

Start where you stand and never mind the past,

The past won’t help you in beginning new,

If you have left it all behind at last

Why, that’s enough, you’re done with it, you’re through;

This is another chapter in the book,

This is another race that you have planned,

Don’t give the vanished days a backward look,

Start where you stand.

 

The world won’t care about your old defeats

If you can start anew and win success;

The future is your time, and time is fleet

And there is much of work and strain and stress;

Forget the buried woes and dead despairs,

Here is a brand-new trial right at hand,

The future is for him who does and dares,

Start where you stand.

~~~

The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.

Elbert Hubbard

~~~

Two older women, Judy and Monica, who were rivals in a social circle met at a party. “My dear,” said Monica, “Are those real pearls?”

“They are,” replied Judy.

“Of course, the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them,” smiled Monica.

Judy responded, “Yes, but for that you would need real teeth.”

~~~

Stop asking if the glass is half full or half empty. Instead, ask “What’s in it? How did it get there? What can I do with it?”

David Kaufman

~~~~~~

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y’allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are xamples excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary:

RETARD – (verb) – To stop working. Usage “My grampaw retard at age 65.”

FAT – (noun), (verb) – a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage “You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh.”

RATS – (noun) – Entitled power or privilege. Usage “We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats.”

~~~

“I think a really funny joke would be for NASA to send up rockets and push a bunch of planets out of alignment. Then they could sit back and laugh when everyone realizes that their horoscopes aren’t coming true.”

Eric Presbrey

~~~

There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand– it being hot and him being thirsty– he decided to stop. once he got up to the little boy’s stand, he noticed a sign that said “All you can drink 10 cents”, well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. Well, he gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. so he slapped it back onto the table and says, “fill ‘er up.” and the kid says, “sure thing, that’ll be 10 cents.” To this the business man says, “but your sign says all you can drink for a dime.” “It is,” the little boy replies, “that’s all you can drink for a dime.

~~~

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

Colin Greene

~~~

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE

  1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
  2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.
  3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them.
  4. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
  5. You’re on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales.

~~~

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

~~~

“It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. “I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.”

“Goes in both ears and out the other?” asked the puzzled teacher. “But you only have two ears, boy.”

“You see, sir? I’m no good at math, either!”

~~~

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation, but would like it to keep in touch.

Robert Orben

~~~

When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel.  As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts.  The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him the litany of complaints – this hurts, that’s stiff, I’m tired and slower, etc.

He responded with, “Mrs. Siegel, you have to expect things to start deteriorating.  After all, who wants to live to 100?”

The grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, “Anyone who’s 99.”

~~~

To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: “Leave no stone unturned.”

Edward Bulwer Lytton

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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