Ray's musings and humor

Archive for August, 2016

I appreciate your friendship

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

C.S. Lewis

! OldFriends

The other day I learned that an another old friend had passed away. I am at the age where I often hear of the death of someone who played an important role in my life years ago. Most had lived full and long lives and for that I am grateful. But usually the news triggers memories of times shared, times that were brightened by what we did together.

Often the memories are coupled with regret, regret that much too often I felt I did not have time to nurture old friendships. The fast pace of my life took me to new places, new challenges and new friends who also had a tendency to fade into the background. How much richer my life would have been if I only let my old friends know how much I missed them. I wish I could shout across the decades and holler “thanks for helping make my life special.”

I am glad that you still have the time to let those you know how much you appreciate them. The following poem is a great reminder for us all.

Around the Corner

by: Henson Towne

 Around the corner I have a friend

In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,

And before I know it, a year is gone

 

And I never see my old friends face,

For life is a swift and terrible race,

She knows I like her just as well

As in the days when I rang her bell,

 

And she rang mine.

We were younger then,

And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,

Tired of trying to make a name.

“Tomorrow” I say “I will call on Jane”

“Just to show that I’m thinking of her”

 

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,

And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner!-yet miles away,

“Here’s a telegram sir-“

“Jane died today.”

And that’s what we get and deserve in the end.

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

 If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say “what you mean”. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets. Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, They have helped to make you the person you are today, What it’s all about anyway. Pass this along to your friends. Let it make a difference in your day and theirs.

~~~

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island… to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.

~~~

The Great Conspiracy

We Must Stop This immediately! Have you ever noticed that when you’re of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection……..Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually “believe” the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on — but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon “everyone” will have to suffer these awful indignities.

~~~

If you are doing your best, you will not have time to worry about failure.

Robert Hillyer

~~~

A woman said to her friend, “I don’t know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can’t imagine. He doesn’t put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things.”

The friend says, “Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ‘Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'”

The first woman asked, “Did it help?”

Her friend said, “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”

~~~

“Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.”

Howard W. Newton

~~~

Fred was telling his friend how his uncle tried to make a new car for himself…”so he took wheels from a Cadillac, a radiator from a Ford, some tires and fenders from a Plymouth…”

“Holy Cow,” interrupted his friend, “What did he end up with?”

And Fred replied, “Two years.”

~~~

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.

Marcel Proust

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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Weathering the storm

If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.

Morris West

! Storm 2

The last week or so has been a real challenge for many of us in Central Indiana, as we were hit with a series of torrential rain storms, extremely high winds and even a few tornadoes. Whole neighborhoods in Kokomo Indiana have been totally flattened leaving lots of folks homeless. Closer to home we have seen huge trees uprooted, homes flooded and lots damage to houses created by the storms.

My two daughters did not have electricity in either of their homes for three days. But as bad as it has been there has been no loss of life. I credit a lot of that good news to the excellent weather warning systems and folks responding appropriately to the Tornado Warning sirens. Of course the knowledge that a tornado is in the area does generate anxiety in many but as a whole people seem to manage it well.

Some time ago I saved an article by Marc Chernoff were reported on how he manages worry. I think some of what he said makes sense when things happen that are beyond our control. Here are his thoughts:

Quotes to Stop Worrying About the Uncontrollable

Like you, I still struggle with letting go of control sometimes.  So I’ve implemented a simple strategy for helping myself with this predicament.  In a nutshell, I proactively remind myself NOT to worry about things I can’t control.  Anytime I catch myself doing so, I pause and read the following seven quotes  to myself.  Then I take some deep breaths, and reassess the situation with a more mindful presence…

  1. You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you CAN control the way you respond. And in your response is your greatest power.  Yes, most of your stress comes directly from the way you think and respond, not the way life is.  Adjust your attitude, and all that extra stress is gone.
  2. Don’t bother worrying about whether there will be problems. There will be plenty of them, and you’ll work your way through every one of them.
  3. If you worry too much about what might be, and wonder too long about what might have been, you will ignore and completely miss what is. Realize that worrying is a misuse of your incredible creative energy.  Instead of imagining the worst, imagine the best and how you can bring it about.  (Angel and I show how in the “Happiness” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
  4. Today is a choice. Today, choose grace over impatience, beauty over negativity, and presence over panic.
  5. There is absolutely nothing about your present situation – even the aspects you can’t control – that prevents you from making progress, step by step.
  6. You are alive and breathing, so act like it. Let go of what’s wrong and grab a hold of what’s right.  Make things happen, and then let things happen.  Learn, accept, explore, create and experience, every single day, one tiny step at a time.  (Angel and I build tiny, life-changing daily rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
  7. Keep being mindful. Keep breathing deeply.  Things ultimately turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

~~~

If you want to see the sunshine, you have to weather the storm.

Frank Lane

~~~

A group of Rabbis were having lunch in “Isaacs White House” kosher restaurant. Unfortunately, Isaac served them watermelon spiked with cherry vodka that he had prepared for another table and he realized his mistake too late to do anything about it. All Isaac could do was wait in his kitchen and expect the worst.

As soon as the waiter came back into the kitchen with the empty plates, Isaac grabbed hold of him and asked, “What did they say, please tell me, what did they say?”

“Nothing at all, Mr Isaac,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy cleaning up the watermelon seeds and putting them into their pockets.”

~~~

“You’re Just Jealous Because the Little Voices Are Talking to Me”

~~~

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”

Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had “fallen.” This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe, old age.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. “Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they’ve fallen.”

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about, because your wife has already fallen three times this week!”

~~~

It is when we forget about ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered

~~~

This is a conversation that took place between a young man and a market surveyor in London.

Surveyor:  Which shaving cream do you use?

Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which aftershave do you use?

Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which deodorant do you use?

Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which toothpaste do you use?

Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which shampoo do you use?

Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  (Frustrated) Okay, tell me, What is this Raymond? An international company?  A local firm?  What???

Young Man:  Raymond?  He’s my roommate.

~~~

Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them?

Rose Kennedy

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Run your own race

Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower.

Shigenori Kameoka

! run-your-own-race

I think I have told you before that one of the realities of post retirement is that there is no reason that we can’t do what it is that will benefit us the most. In reality I think for many of us it is easier said than done. Some of us become so conditioned by the process of our lives so far that we find it hard to change.

I know I am still having trouble letting go. It does not make a lot of sense to keep running as fast as I can when I am no longer racing. I don’t have nearly as much to do as I once did but yet I do not find it all that easy to adjust to a more reasonable pace. I do know better than to keep running so I do spend more time relaxing and catching up then I do pursuing unrealistic tasks. I have already won more in my life than I ever thought I could so now it’s the time to stand on the sidelines and appreciate your successes.

Here is a story that I just read that started me thinking about where I am and what I am doing these days.

Run your own race and wish others well

I was jogging this morning and I noticed a person about 1/2 a kilometer ahead. I could tell he was running a little slower than me and I thought, good, I shall try to catch him. I had about a kilometer before I needed to turn off. So I started running faster and faster.

Every block, I was gaining on him just a little bit. After just a few minutes I was only about 100 meters behind him, so I really picked up the pace and pushed myself. You would have thought I was running in the last leg of an Olympic competition. I was determined to catch him.

Finally, I did it! I caught and passed him. On the inside, I felt so good. “I beat him” Of course, he didn’t even know we were racing. After I passed him, I realized I had been so focused on competing against him that I had missed my turn. I had gone nearly six blocks past my turn and I had to turn and go back.

Isn’t that what happens in life when we focus on competing with co-workers, neighbors, friends, family, trying to outdo them or trying to prove that we are more successful or more important?

We spend our time and energy running after them and we miss out on our own paths to our given destinies. The problem with unhealthy competition is that it’s a never ending cycle.

There will always be somebody ahead of you, someone with a better job, nicer car, more money in the bank, more education, a prettier wife, a more handsome husband, better behaved children, etc. But realize that “You can be the best that you can be, when you are not competing with anyone.”

Some people are insecure because they pay too much attention to what others are, where others are going, wearing and driving. Take whatever you have, the height, weight and personality. Dress well and wear it proudly, you’ll be blessed by it. Stay focused and live a healthy life. There is no competition in Destiny.

~~~

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Over breakfast recently, my sister said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is.”

“Of course I do,” he indignantly answered, as he went out the door, heading to the office.

At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when my Sis opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.

My sister couldn’t wait for her husband to come home. “First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!” she exclaimed.

Then grinning like a Cheshire cat, said, “I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

~~~

“Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.”

George Burns

~~~

A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn’t care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character.

Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.

The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common — they were both pathological liars.

~~~

Never put off until tomorrow what you can forget about forever.

~~~

One night recently, my phone rang several times throughout the evening. Each time, a woman’s voice asked for Ben. Each time I politely explained that I lived alone, my name wasn’t Ben, and she had a wrong number. The fifth time she called, I had had enough.

“Hello”? I said.

“Can I speak to Ben, please”?

I replied, “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Can I take a message”?

“Do you know what time he’ll be back”? she responded.

“I think he said he’d be home around 10:00.”

Silence on the other end…a confused silence.

“Is this Steve”?

“Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben”?

“Well, he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him,” she said in a slightly irritated voice.

I replied, “Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago and said that he would be back at 10:00.”

A shocked voice now, “Who’s Karen”?

“The girl he went out with.”

“I know that! I mean…who is she”?

“I don’t know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben”?

“Yes. Please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home.”

She was sounding pretty irate at this point. “I sure will. Is this Jennifer”?

She exploded, “Who’s Jennifer”? Apparently she wasn’t.

“Well, he’s going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry, it was an honest mistake.”

“Ben’s the one that’s made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and that she’s very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home.”

I smiled and said, “Okay, I will, but Becky isn’t going to like this…”

~~~

Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

~~~

Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, with his nurse, his wife, his daughter, and 2 sons. “So”, he says to them:

“Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses.”

“Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza .”

“Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center .”

“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown.”

The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says,

“Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property”.

Sarah replies,

“Property? … the schmuck has a paper route!”

~~~

Your ambition should be to get as much life out of living as you possibly can, as much enjoyment, as much interest, as much experience, as much understanding. Not simply be what is generally called a “success.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Happy?

If you want to be happy, be.

Leo Tolstoy

! I-wish-you-a-happy-life

For a number of reasons I was thinking about my children, grandchildren and my great-grandson and ended up again realizing that my overwhelming desire if for them to have happy lives. There is just no substitute for having the ability to enjoy our lives.

I think to a large extent happiness comes easiest for those who are willing to let happiness into their lives. It comes from placing value on what we have rather than on what we don’t have. Happy people seem to find it easy to trust and love others, including themselves. They seem to have the ability to see what is right in life without spending too much time agonizing over what is wrong.

So my friends as I wish my children happy lives I also hope you will find the happiness you deserve. Here is something I have always liked and I think it is a good day to share it with you.

Steps to Happiness

Everybody Knows:

You can’t be all things to all people.

You can’t do all things at once.

You can’t do all things equally well.

You can’t do all things better than everyone else.

Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s.

So:

You have to find out who you are, and be that.

You have to decide what comes first, and do that.

You have to discover your strengths, and use them.

You have to learn not to compete with others,

Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

Then:

You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.

You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.

You will have learned to live with your limitations.

You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.

And you’ll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe: That you are a wonderful, unique person.

That you are a once-in-all-history event.

That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are.

That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.

And we’ll be able to stay one up on what used to get us.

May God Bless you and keep you safe,

Father Pat

~~~

Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

Omar Khayyam

~~~

Church Signs

Trespassers will be baptized!

“Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!”

“Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins.”

“People are like tea bags — you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”

“Fight truth decay — study the Bible daily.”

“How will you spend eternity – Smoking or Nonsmoking?”

“It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”

“Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”

“Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”

“Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up.”

~~~

“Friends are helpful not only because they will listen to us, but because they will laugh at us; Through them we learn a little objectivity, a little modesty, a little courtesy; We learn the rules of life and become better players of the game”

Will Durant

~~~

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, my Uncle Joe was hired by a warehouse. One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock.

Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he’d have to withhold 10 percent of Uncle Joe’s wages to pay for the repairs.

“How much will it cost?” asked my uncle.

“About $4,500,” said the owner.

“What a relief!” exclaimed Uncle Joe. “I’ve finally got job security!”

~~~

“He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love”

~~~

A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her bill.

She began rummaging through her purse, as so many patients did when they had a check to write.

“Do you need a pen”? I asked, offering her the use of mine.

“Yes, thank you,” she replied. She took it, put it in her handbag and proceeded to pay in cash.

~~~

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Take care of yourself

When things go wrong, don’t go with them.

Elvis Presley

Be Kind to yourself 2.jpg

Sorry about sleeping in yesterday. I have been pretty lazy these last few days including putting off somethings that need doing. So today I plan on doing better after I take a short nap.

I read an article the other day written by Terri R. Marshall entitled Taking Care of You . . . 25 Great Ways To Self-Nurture that includes some suggestions I plan on rereading and implementing as I think they may include funk busters I could use right now. Here is some of her suggestions.

Great Ways To Self-Nurture

Self-nurturing is taking care of yourself. Many people put themselves at the bottom of their own list of priorities. The result is burnout, exhaustion and resentment. We are unable to be at our best if we don’t take time out for ourselves to rest, relax and renew.

Self-nurturing does not have to be difficult or overly time-consuming. Anything that helps us feel more positive and joyful is self-nurturing. Below is a list of ideas, but don’t limit yourself. Think about simple pleasures that speak to you personally and incorporate them into your life each and every day. The result? A happier, healthier you!

  • Be Grateful (Keep a Gratitude Journal . . . write down 5 things you are grateful for each day)
  • Surround Yourself with Positive People (Choose people who help you grow and thrive.
  • Practice Kindness and Compassion (Remember to help and pray for others)
  • Give Praise and Let Go of Criticism
  • Do Not Complain (Learn to let it go)
  • Exercise (Choose something you really enjoy, why not try a type of mind/body/spirit exercise like yoga?)
  • Volunteer and Donate (Promote a cycle of goodwill; pay it forward)
  • Learn Proper Self-Care (Get enough sleep, detoxify, eat a healthy, balanced diet and drink plenty of water . . . learn to listen to your body)
  • Seek New Experiences and Knowledge (why not try a holistic therapy such as acupuncture or that store you’ve always wanted to go in, but never took the time)
  • Follow Your Bliss (Use your creativity, gifts and talents . . .begin a hobby or career you are passionate about)
  • Read a Good Book or Watch a Great Movie (Why not try reading some poetry?)
  • Laugh (Laughter truly is the best medicine)
  • Seek Solitude (Meditate, go within and get creative, try a fun excursion by yourself)
  • Use Positive Affirmations (Make a conscious choice to be happy)
  • Have a Cup of Your Favorite Coffee or Tea (Chamomile Tea is especially relaxing; avoid caffeine before bed)
  • Get Out in Nature (Try a walking meditation in the warm sunshine, spending time near the water, cloud watching or enjoying a beautiful sunset)
  • Remember the Purpose of Life is Joy!

~~~

Keep your face always toward the sunshine — and shadows will fall behind you.

Walt Whitman

~~~

Sadie bumps into her friend Rachel at the mall.

“You’re looking very tired today, Rachel. Did you have a late night?”

“Yes,” replies Rachel, “but it was all very strange. While doing some gardening yesterday, I found a lamp, so I rubbed it and out popped a genie. He gave me a choice of two wishes.”

“Wow, fantastic,” says Sadie, “so what were the choices he gave you, Rachel?”

“He said he could either give me an excellent, sharp, 100% memory or else he could make my Harry the best lover in the world.”

“So tell me already, Rachel, what did you choose?”

“I can’t remember,” replies Rachel.

~~~

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Robert Frost

~~~

To Whom it May Concern:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year old again.

I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to play dodgeball at recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in our youth, we matured and learned too much. There are nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, and abused children. Lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain, and death. A world where companies poison our water and our soil, and children kill.

What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn’t grasp the concept of death? When the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to return to the days when children played hide-n-seek outside instead of being glued to a television, when video games were as harmless as Pac-Man…instead of spine-ripping, blood-splattering mind numbers like Mortal Combat, and TV still had some shows on that weren’t about sex, killing, and lies.

I remember being naive and thinking everyone was happy because I was. Afternoons were spent climbing trees and fences and riding my bike. I never worried about time, bills, or where I was going to find the money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I’ll do if this doesn’t work out. I want to live simple again.

I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So…. here’s my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll have to catch me first, ’cause. . .     “Tag! You’re it.”

~~~

It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses

George Eliot

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Ray is sleeping

Hi everyone. Ray is sleeping in this morning so he asked me to send you one of his Dailys from the archive.

Ray’s Computer

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Ray’s Daily first published on August 23, 2004

There is so much opportunity for good people. Those who are fortunate enough to understand that and do something are those who are truly fulfilled. Ralph Waldo Emerson had it right when he wrote:

To laugh often and much;

to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;

to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

~~~

Life is no brief candle to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have got hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

Robert calls home to his wife and says, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”

His wife, Rhonda, thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

Rhonda welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. Robert says, “Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?”

“I did,” Rhonda replies, “they were in your tackle box.”

~~~

Patience is never more important than when you are at the edge of losing it.

  1. A. Battista

~~~

Here’s the exercise program I am using to stay in shape this summer. You might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient.  It may be too strenuous for some.

*Always Consult Your Doctor Before Starting Any Exercise Program*

Okay, let’s start…. Scroll Down…

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

Now Scroll Up…

Okay….that’s enough for the first day! Drink some water and rest.

~~~

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all,” “Me neither doc,” said the husband. “But she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.

~~~

As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust. Suddenly, we realized why………we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them….

~~~

It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

~~~

After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.”

The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled,

“Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!”

~~~

The wife heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left. She said, “Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting.”

“It was postponed.” he replied. “The wife of the Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate wouldn’t let him attend tonight.”

~~~

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

~~~

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the rest.

  • Strike while the …………………….bug is close.
  • It’s always darkest before………………Daylight Saving Time.
  • Never underestimate the power of……….termites.
  • Don’t bite the hand that………………..looks dirty.
  • You can’t teach an old dog new…………..math.
  • If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…………stink in the morning.
  • Where there’s smoke there’s……………..pollution.
  • Happy the bride who……………………..gets all the presents.
  • A penny saved is…………………………not much.
  • Two’s company, three’s………………….the Musketeers.
  • Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and….you have to blow your nose.
  • There are none so blind as……………….Stevie Wonder.
  • If at first you don’t succeed…………….don’t skydive.
  • When the blind leadeth the blind………….get out of the way.
  • Better late than………………………pregnant!!!!

~~~

There is truth in what they say about the sexes. Men like cars, women like clothes. I also like cars because they take me to clothes.

– Rita Rudner –

~~~

One of our clients brought in his massive Doberman pinscher to be spayed. As a veterinary assistant, I escort the patient into the doctor’s office. But before taking this dog’s leash, I glimpsed those large teeth of her’s and asked the owner.

“Is she friendly?”

“Friendly?” said the man…….”She’s had five litters!”

~~~

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.  Stu said, “I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?”

Leroy replied, “I’m not sure; what was her maiden name?”

~~~

Whatever we are waiting for — peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance —  it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.”

Sarah Van Breathnach

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

It’s just not worth it

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

Corrie ten Boom

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I hope you had a good weekend. Mine was uneventful I spent most of it fighting off respiratory problems. I am at the age where life is lived one day at a time so minor problems are really not that big a deal. As I think I have told you before I have learned not to worry until it is too late to worry. When something does take me down temporally I have not made it worse by worrying in advance.

Don’t let worry steal from your happiness. Here is a piece that I think is right on.

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

             There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.

             Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

 

            One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,

             Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.

             Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.

             All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.

             We cannot undo a single act we performed.

             We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

 

            The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.

             With its possible adversities, Its burdens,

             Its large promise and poor performance.

             Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

             Tomorrow’s Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,

             but it will rise.

             Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

             This just leaves only one day . . . Today.

             Any person can fight the battles of just one day.

             It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity’s –

             yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

             It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.

             It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday

             and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

 

            Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

 

Author Unknown

~~~

You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way. Walter Hagen

~~~

A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, “Who was the greatest man that ever lived?”

A girl raises her hand and says, “I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country.”

The teacher replies, “Well…that’s a good answer, but that’s not the answer I am looking for.”

Another young student raises his hand and says, “I think Abraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he freed the slaves and helped end the civil war.” … “Well, that’s another good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for.”

Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and says, “I think Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived.” The teacher’s mouth drops open in astonishment. “Yes!” she says, “that’s the answer I was looking for.”

She then brings him up to the front of the classroom and gives him a lollipop.

Later, during recess, another Jewish boy approaches him as he is licking his lollipop. He says, “Why did you say, ‘Jesus Christ’?” The boy stops licking his lollipop and replies, “I know it’s Moses, and YOU know it’s Moses, but business is business.”

~~~

Is the reason firemen always have Dalmatian dogs with them so that they can find the fire hydrants?

~~~

Future Novelists… These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays

  • Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.
  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
  • He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
  • She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
  • He was a tall as a six foot three inch tree.
  • The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM.
  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
  • From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.
  • Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
  • He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the east river.
  • The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.  But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
  • “Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
  • The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

~~~

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

~~~

A father asks his son, now aged 13, if he knows about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears.

Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.

“Oh dad,” he sobbed, “at age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!

~~~

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Robert Brault

~~~

She said: My son is an avid listener to our city’s police frequency, and he leaves the scanner on all the time. One morning while making his bed, I heard the dispatcher say, “Car 34, there is a six-foot boa constrictor in a front yard. The resident wants a policeman to come and remove it.” There was a long pause, then some static. Slowly, a voice said, “We can’t get the car started.”

~~~

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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