Ray's musings and humor

Archive for April, 2008

Share the good life!

The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge.

Bertrand Russell

 

 

It’s another one of those days. I have medical tests, a must-attend seminar and a funeral to go to. So I am going to plagiarize by stealing from some of my old Dailies. Fortunately there are enough new readers from various places in the world and old readers with memory problems that few will know the difference. I did feel I had to let you know though since a few will remember and hold me accountable. So let’s see what I will find from back when.

~~~

April 8, 2002

Life is about whom you love and whom you hurt.

It’s about whom you make happy or unhappy purposefully.

It’s about keeping or betraying trust.

It’s about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.

It’s about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.

It’s about starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.

It’s about what judgments you pass and why. And who your judgments are spread to.

It’s about whom you’ve ignored with full control and intention.

It’s about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.

It’s about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and spreading it.

But most of all, it’s about using your life to touch or poison other people’s hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone. Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices are what life’s all about.

~~~

April 10, 2002

A Friend sent this to me:

Don’t ever be reluctant to show your feelings, when you’re happy, give in to it, when you’re not, live with it.

Don’t ever be afraid to try to make things better, you might be surprised at the results.

Don’t ever take the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Don’t ever feel threatened by the future, take life one day at a time.

Don’t ever feel guilty about the past, what’s done is done, learn from any mistakes you might have made.

Don’t ever feel that you are alone, there is always somebody there for you to reach out to.

Don’t ever forget that you can achieve so many of the things you can imagine, it’s not as hard as it seems.

Don’t ever stop loving,

Don’t ever stop believing,

Don’t ever stop dreaming your dreams.

~~~

The heart is the happiest when it beats for others.

~~~

After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, ladies, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?"

Amid much mumbling, one voice was heard from the back row. "My recruiter."

~~~

What if your mother really IS right….. about everything?

~~~

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

His mother had an idea: "Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?"

He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.

"I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes."

"What’s wrong with that?" asked his mother.

"We hadn’t started eating yet."

~~~

You can’t please everyone. But it is possible to make ’em all mad at the same time.

~~~

She said I am a very nervous flyer.  During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn’t help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems.  Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant.  "I’ll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out.  Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights.

A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don’t ask about the engines."

~~~

"Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children."

Doris Day

~~~

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out.

All from the same person.

~~~

Many of our ambitions are nipped in the budget.

~~~

Grandma Levy, always a regular synagogue member had finally talked her cousin, a woman who had lived a riotous, free life, into joining the Temple.

"Tell me Rabbi," the old lady asked, "Do you feel that my cousin will have her sins forgiven after all those years?"

"Yes I do. I’m positive of it. You must remember that the greater the number of sins, the greater the glory."

"Really Rabbi?", the old lady replied thoughtfully. "I sure do wish I’d known that fifty years ago."

~~~

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

~~~

When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen.  Diane’s 4-year-old son overheard some of his mother’s private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he   was excited about the new baby.

"Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we’re going to name it, too."

"Really?" asked the lady.

"Yes." said the little boy, "If it’s a girl we’re going to call her Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!"

~~~

Don’t just count your years, make your years count.

Ernest Meyers

~~~

"Next," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol, Roger Ledding, who is here with his lovely wife, Beverly."

The chief took his place at the lectern.

"I’m a little nervous," he began, "getting up before this distinguished audience and speaking today. But not nearly as nervous as I will be tonight when I must go home with my wife, Audrey, and explain Beverly to her!"

~~~

“We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results.”

Herman Melville

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

Daily today, none tomorrow, I’ll be away

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.

Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

Buddha

 

 

A friend and neighbor passed away the other day. I had not known him very well but over the past few years I got to know him better than I had. He had a good heart, a sense of humor, and loved people. As the memories of our few times together surfaced I realized how sorry I was that we had not spent more time together over the 20 plus years we were acquainted. We talked a time or two about cruising together one day, unfortunately that day never came. He leaves a loving wife of many years and I only hope that her countless friends help fill the gap that has been left by the loss of her life partner.

Most of us have one special person who is so close to us that most of the day to day things we do we share together. As I have gotten older I realize that the more we share with others beyond our immediate family the richer life becomes. By broadening our outreach to more people we do not steal from those we hold dear, rather we add to that we already have and everyone benefits. And then when we suffer so great a loss as my friends wife just has we do not grieve alone.

Bernadette Ballezza knows what I mean, here is what she wrote a few years ago:

 

We were meant to share our lives with each other, because life can be painful. We face too many fragile moments standing alone, often unable to contain our sadness, the feeling of staying lost forever. Sharing our sorrow helps us feel protected. We feel hopeful.

We were meant to share our lives with each other because life can be full of joy. It can overflow with each new success, rediscovering an old friendship, winning against all odds, carrying life within us. Sharing the abundance of our joy brings us the pleasure of feeling cherished. We have chosen happiness.

We were meant to share our lives with each other because life can catch us unaware. It can suddenly surprise us with unwanted adventures and the dare-devil risk of starting new jobs, falling out of love, questioning our faith. Sharing this crisis gives our loved ones a chance to hold steady a safety net even if we choose not to jump. They stand by, a proud witness to our courage.

We were meant to share our lives with each other, because we need each other. For our lives to sustain its purpose and continue to hold its profound significance, we need to be connected, appreciated and understood. We need to share and we need to belong.

 

We will never be alone if we share ourselves with others for they will share with us in return.

~~~

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.

James M. Barrie:

~~~

A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers.

"I don’t know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that we’ve blessed all this stuff before."

~~~

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What’s it about?" he asked. "I don’t know," she replied. "I can’t read."

~~~

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.

The pastor shouted out "CROSS." Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."

The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."

The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD".

The Pastor said "SEX!" The congregation fell in total silence.

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES."

~~~

We can’t change how we started out but starting now we can change the ending.

~~~

With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65 year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?" one asked.

"Not yet," said the mother. "I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"

"No, not yet," said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"

"No, not yet," replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?"

"WHEN IT CRIES!" she told them.

"WHEN IT CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??"

"BECAUSE, I forgot where I put it…"

~~~

A rabbi took a job at a Duracell factory.

His job is to stand on the production line and as the batteries go by, say, "I wish you long life"

~~~

An evangelist had a great revival camp going.  One night he was up in front of a large audience, speaking on imperfection.  He asked his audience towards the end, "Has anyone ever known anyone who has come CLOSE to the perfection of our lord, Jesus Christ?"

Nobody, of course raised their hand.  So he issued the question again.  "Anybody! Has ANYONE ever known that kind of perfection?"

Finally a guy in the back raised his hand, so of course he was asked to stand up. "Tell us.  Tell us who you knew who was so close to perfection."

The man responded, "My wife’s first husband."

~~~

"We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."

Will Rogers

~~~

Mr. & Mrs. Jones were eating breakfast one morning and Mrs. was reading a letter while she ate.

Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.

"Henry," she said, "I’ve just received a letter from mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that?  I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience.  You did write to her, didn’t you?"

"Er, yes, honey, I did," said the husband.  "But I couldn’t spell ‘convenience’, so I substituted ‘risk’." (last time we checked, this husband was still recovering from his injuries.)

~~~

I had amnesia once — or twice.

~~~

A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck.

Finally, I thought I had found one. I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.

"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby. You can wait there."

~~~

The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.

Leo Buscaglia

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

Come on! Let’s go!

“Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal.”

 

 

It seems like I have been pretty serious this week. We have talked a lot about our getting up, getting out and doing something for people. Today is a little bit different, it still is about doing something for people, the people being ourselves. We are going into the weekend and it is time to relax, throw our bonnet up in the air and just have fun.

The great thing is we get to decide what that might be. Recently I asked a friend if they had been dancing on tables only to find out later that the friend misinterpreted what I said as questioning if they had behaved badly. That was unfortunate but it was not what I meant. What I meant was like Zorba in “Zorba the Greek” we should feel free to live life with abandonment allowing ourselves to express our zest and exuberance. There is a latent child buried deep inside all of us that wants to play, to stick its tongue out and give the world the raspberry or sometimes just to roll around in the sand, we need to let the kid out once in awhile.

I think too many of us have become so scripted that we are on stage all the time, trying to be what we think the world expects us to be. The quote above reminds us that we are living our lives now and every day that passes is another page in our story, if we spend all our days in the dress rehearsal we will never be able to act in the play. So let yourself go, if you feel you have to go somewhere to feel free enough to do it, then go there. But please don’t let too much of your life go by missing what it has to offer. Here is how some others said it better:

 

"Did you know…that when you walk past a flower, whether it be in somebody’s garden or on a vacant hillside, the flower will always smile at you. The most polite way to respond, I’ve been told, is to cheerfully return the smile."

Ron Atchison

 

Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods. 

Japanese Proverb

 

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed. 

Storm Jameson

~~~

So my friends I’ll leave you with one last thought, it is a quote I got from somewhere but I have forgotten where. “Live life so completely that when death comes to you like a thief in the night, there will be nothing left for him to steal.” Most of my life is behind me and I don’t want to waste what’s left, do you?

~~~

My son Earl is a construction foreman. One day he tumbled from a scaffold, managing to break his fall by grabbing on to parts of the scaffold on the way down. He received only minor scratches. Embarrassed by the fall, he climbed back up to continue working. Then he noticed his co-workers holding up hastily made signs reading, 9.6, 9.8, and 9.4.

~~~

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, I’ve found a man just like father!"

Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

~~~

AUTO INSURANCE CLAIMS TESTAMONY

  • "The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind."
  • "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
  • Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?
  • The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were – Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
  • "On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
  • "I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight"
  • "Windshield broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
  • "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again."
  • "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
  • "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
  • "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"
  • "A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face"
  • "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
  • "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
  • "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
  • "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
  • "I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
  • "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have."
  • "I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."
  • "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
  • "My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."
  • "I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."
  • "The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
  • "The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end."
  • "I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."
  • "The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."
  • "The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."

~~~

Being like everyone else isn’t one of my strengths.

~~~

The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for the day.

Alice decided to skip school and go to the mall with her friends. So, she waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.

"Hi, I’m calling to report that Alice is unable to make it to school today, because she is ill."

The secretary at the high school answered, "I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll note her absence. Who is this calling, please?"

"This is my mother."

~~~

OK, I’m weird! But I’m saving up to become eccentric.

~~~

A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.

"I’ve figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw. "You always lose control at the same point in every game."

"When is that?"

"Right after the National Anthem."

~~~

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”

Anthony Robbins

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

Let’s not wait too long

Do what you can to show you care about other people, and you will make our world a better place.

Rosalynn Carter

 

 

I told you about my friend Charlie’s up coming trip to the Middle East trip the other day. Since I had agreed to give the invocation at a meeting this morning I decided to use what my friend was doing as an example of what we all might do. Here is what I offered:

 

I had lunch with my friend Charlie the other day. You may remember Charlie from when he spoke to our club. We discussed Charlie’s upcoming trip to Syria and Jordan where he will lead a team working to help the Iraqi refugees who are suffering great hardship in the camps where they are forced to live. Charlie believes that while he can’t help everyone he can help someone and he and his friends don’t want to wait to do what they can.

Later I discovered this prayer that reminded me of Charlie and his commitment to humanity.

Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity.

Be fair in thy judgment, and guarded in thy speech.

Be a lamp unto those who walk in darkness, and a home to the stranger.

Be eyes to the blind, and a guiding light unto the feet of the erring.

Be a breath of life to the body of humankind, a dew to the soil of the human heart, and a fruit upon the tree of humility.

Charlie is right, we can’t make the world a better place for everyone but we can for someone and just think if everyone decided they could do something for someone how much better our world would be.

 

I am fortunate that I am provided the opportunity to do something for someone by the Salvation Army, Kiwanis International, and other organizations. My life would not be as full if I withdrew and lived in isolation. What about you?

~~~

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted"

Aesop

~~~

KID’S INSTRUCTIONS ON LIFE

"Wear a hat when feeding seagulls."

– Rocky, age 9

"Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning."

– Stephanie, age 8

"Don’t flush the john when your dad’s in the shower."

– Lamar, age 10

"Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes."

– Carrol, age 9

"Never bug a pregnant mom." – Nicholas, age 11

"Don’t ever be too full for dessert." – Kelly, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer him." – Heather, age 16

"Never tell your mom her diet’s not working."

– Michael, age 14

"Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat." – Joel, age 12

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone."

– Alyesha, age 13

"Never try to baptize a cat." – Laura, age 13

"Never spit when on a roller coaster." – Scott, age 11

"Never do pranks at a police station." – Sam, age 10

"Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it’s moving."

– Rob, age 10

"Never tell your little brother that you’re not going to do what your mom told you to do."

– Hank, age 12

"Remember you’re never too old to hold your father’s hand."

– Molly, age 11

"Listen to your brain. It has lots of information."

– Chelsey, age 7

"Stay away from prunes." – Randy, age 9

"Never dare your little brother to paint the family car."

– Phillip, age 13

"Forget the cake, go for the icing." – Cynthia, age 8

"Remember the two places you are always welcome – church and Grandma’s house."

– Joanne, age 11

"When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents."

– Matthew, age 12

~~~

"Every human being is important and all human beings owe something to their fellow inhabitants of this planet."

Wallace Campbell

~~~

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.

The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave.

"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.

"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down."

The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack’s door. "I cut the tree down," said the man.

The lumberjack couldn’t believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.

"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.

The little man laughed and answered back, "Oh sure, that’s what they call it now!"

~~~

Husband: Darling, will you love me when I’m old and feeble?

Spouse:  You bet I do.

~~~

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn’t know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said,

"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

~~~

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Thomas Jefferson

~~~

She told me that working as a court reporter, she hears a lot of testimony you will never hear on the TV show, Law and Order, including the following give-and-take between the judge and a mother during a paternity suit.

Judge: "Was the child born out of wedlock?"

Mother: "No, sir. Just outside of Louisville."

~~~

When the story of these times gets written, we want it to say that we did all we could, and it was more than anyone could have imagined.

Bono

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

What do you bel;ieve?

 

I ran out of time so here is another look back.

April 15, 2005

 

A lie has speed, but truth has endurance.

Edgar J. Mohn

~~~

Honesty – the quality, condition, or characteristic of being fair, just, truthful, and morally upright

Integrity – the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles.

Perception – an attitude or understanding based on what is observed or thought

Spin – to cast somebody’s remarks or relate a story in such a way as to influence public opinion in a desired way

Cover-up – to try to conceal that something illegal, immoral, or undesirable has happened or how or why it happened

~~~

I have been worried lately by the many people who substitute the management of perception for truth as they use spin to cover-up reality and deny any wrongdoing. Too many times it seems that if they lie often enough, say it often enough, the public starts to believe them even though they should know better.

Everyday we read about Corporate Executives, Politicians, and others who have failed the public through their malfeasance, unethical action, or in some cases outright criminal activity. The sad part is that too many find a way to excuse this behavior. Often many find the fact that the perpetrator failed to delete an e-mail, memo or a taped conversation as being the problem and not the act itself. It seems to me that too many of us are willing to sacrifice our commitment to truth and honesty when a denial will help our cause.

What I find even worse is those who excuse such behavior because the other politician did something as bad or worse, or that the company did nothing different than some others do. It as is if they believe that morality is neutralized by a precedent set by someone else. What would your parents have said if you thought it was alright to break the neighbor’s window because another guy did it first, remember when your mom said “if Harry jumped off a cliff would you do it too?”

It appears that too many of us have lost something really important when we tolerate lies and unethical behavior because it serves our interests or beliefs. When we do we take the risk of our children saying later in life, “It is OK my parents did it.” As always, “the ends justify the means”, is a dangerous slope that often ends up hurting those who practice rationalizing their actions.

~~~

It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society.  When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime. 

Thomas Paine

~~~

  • One of my favorite college professor friends is a red head; please don’t tell her you got any of this from me.
  • How do you get a redhead to argue with you? A: Say something
  • How do you get a redhead’s mood to change? A: Wait 10 seconds
  • If you love a Redhead, set her free…..if she follows you everywhere you go, if she pitches a tent in your front lawn, and if she puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she’s yours.
  • How do you know a guy at the beach has a redhead for a girlfriend? A: She has scratched "stay off MY TURF!" on his back with her nails.
  • What do you call a Redhead with an attitude? A: Normal
  • How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you? A: She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl
  • Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy.  One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

One of my favorite friends is a red headed professor and I know she is not like that (Don’t tell anyone but if I said she was I would be afraid of the consequences).

~~~

Some people are discovered, others are found out.

~~~

A little boy is told by his mother that he has been very bad this year. Thus, he would probably not get anything for Christmas.

"What? Nothing for Christmas?" cried the little boy.

"Well," said mom, "maybe if you write a letter to baby Jesus and tell him how sorry you are, Santa will bring you some presents."

The little boy returned to his room and began his letter. With each attempt at writing he would first apologize and then promise to be good for a certain amount of time. Each letter he crumpled up started again, making the "be good" time shorter with each letter.

Finally in frustration, he gave up and then was struck by a bolt of inspiration! Running to the living room he carefully removed the little Mother Mary figure from the family’s manger scene and just as carefully wrapped it in a sock, placing it in his top drawer. Returning to his desk, he took out a clean piece of paper and began to write:

"Dear Baby Jesus, if you ever want to see your Mother again…"

~~~

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model INSIDE her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. It worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method.

The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds!

~~~

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!"

Dave Barry

~~~

During the Second World War, when many young men were being trained for combat, they were stationed in the south, and it was the custom for some of the local residents to offer some Southern Hospitality to our fighting men.

One day, in a camp that will remain nameless, the phone rang; a woman at a local woman’s school offered to entertain a dozen soldiers at a party being held the upcoming weekend, and would the captain send some of her best behaved men over? The captain agreed, but before he could finalize the agreements, the woman made a request: "Please, suh, don’t send any Jewish boys."

The captain agreed … no Jews.

The day of the party, the soldiers were dropped off at the school, and knocked on the door. The hostess opened the door … to the sight of a dozen Black soldiers, all in dress uniforms.

"Why, th-there m-must be some kind of m-mistake," she stammered.

"No, ma’am," said one of the soldiers, "Captain Rabinowitz, he doesn’t make mistakes."

~~~

"Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them."

Richard Buckminster Fuller

~~~

Joe: Why don’t you play golf with Bob any more?

Mike: Would you play with someone who curses after each shot, cheats in the bunkers and enters false scores on his card?

Joe: No!

Mike: Neither will Bob.

~~~

"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."

Emo Philips

I think I know who some of them are. Ray

~~~

Read, every day, something no one else is reading.

Think, every day, something no one else is thinking.

Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do.

It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.

Christopher Morley

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

Blessed are those who……

“Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean.”

Ryunosuke Satoro

 

 

I had the good fortune today to have lunch with one of those heroes that you never hear about. My friend has devoted most of his life to others through the work he has chosen to do. He is a recognized expert on conflict resolution and peacemaking. What people don’t know is that he is also much more than that.

While so many of us agonize about the situation in Iraq and the middle East hoping that someone will find answers that lead to peace and an end to the suffering of the innocent, my friend and a handful of others have decided that if everyone waits nothing will happen. He knows that he does not have the power to change the world for everyone. The difference between him and others is that he knows he can make the world better for someone. He and about a dozen of his friends are going to Syria and Jordan to do what they can for some of the Iraqi refugees who are stuck without jobs and adequate food after being driven out of their homes by the death and destruction that exists in their home country.

My friend’s team will build a Habitat for Humanity home and will bring as much medicine and supplies as they can but most of all they will show the people that someone really cares. Just think what could be done if there were thousands like him leaving the U.S. everyday to show what people helping people can do. Shame on us if we let my friend’s demonstration of faith and humanity end with his trip.

At lunch we talked about the differences between people and our propensity to feel that the people we meet are our friends or not. The truth is that we are most often acquaintances who have yet to understand each other. Our only hope in our shrinking world is that we get to get know those we meet and that we find our common ground. We really don’t have to limit our contact to the people of the world to meetings between leaders or even worse to battlefield encounters, we can meet each other over coffee, the work we do together and just spending time together.

A child who is hungry whether it is my child or someone else’s is not hungry by choice, they are not combatants, political opponents, religious fanatics, they are but babies and young people that need some one to care and provide a little nurturing. My friend cares and through his efforts others will know he cares. If we become friends it will be awfully hard for us to become enemies.

So thanks Charlie! I wish I could be with you. But please know this, my heart and my mind will be with you and I am glad that we are friends. God speed, bring back news of your trip and how others may also get involved for you have the ability to inspire.

~~~

“If each man or woman could understand that every other human life is as full of sorrows, or joys, or base temptations, of heartaches and of remorse as his own . . . how much kinder, how much gentler he would be.”

William Allen White

~~~

There was this man who, many years ago, worked for a large business. That was his lifetime employment, but he wasn’t happy there. He wanted to go into business for himself. He saved his money and finally had enough so that he could quit and start his own business.

About two years later, I was on vacation and was going through the town where his business was located, so I stopped by for a visit.

"Hey, John! I heard that the first year is the hardest for a new business."

"Yeah, the first year was pretty rough, but we are doing pretty good now. In fact, I’m getting to where I only have to work half a day."

"Wow, that’s pretty nice. Maybe I should think about going into business for myself."

"Yeah, and the nicest part of it is that it doesn’t matter which twelve hours you work!"

~~~

There are two schools of thought on the leather jacket…one of them from the cow.

~~~

When it comes to tunes, my local music shop prefers the sound of silence.

A sign prominently displayed on a grand piano reads, "The management is not responsible for the actions of its employees if your child plays "Heart and Soul" or "Chopsticks" on this instrument.

~~~

Half the secret of getting along with people is consideration of their views; the other half is tolerance in one’s own views.

Daniel Frohmann

~~~

My English professor was stopped for speeding. When asked why she was driving so fast, she quoted Robert Frost: "I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep."

"But Miss," replied the officer, obviously familiar with the poet. "Frost chose the road less traveled and unfortunately for you, this wasn’t it!"

~~~

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.

Lord Byron

~~~

A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall.

"It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway."

"Actually," said the guide, "it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation."

"Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?"

"Yes, indeed. He wrote a check."

~~~

A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can’t spell

~~~

An investment banker was on the pier of a small coastal village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. His boat was full of beautiful yellow tuna. The banker complimented the fisherman on his catch, asking how long it took to catch. The fisherman replied "only a short time." The banker asked why not stay out and catch more. The fisherman replied, "I’ve enough fish to feed my family."

The banker then asked what did the fisherman do with the rest of his time, and he replied, "I will sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening, sip wine with my friends, play my guitar, … I have a full and busy life."

The banker was not impressed. "I have a Harvard MBA and could help you.

You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat and from those increased proceeds you could buy several boats and soon have a fleet. Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you could control production, processing and distribution by building your own cannery. You could leave this small coastal village and move to the city then to New York where you could run your expanding enterprise."

The fisherman asked, "How long will this take?"

The banker said, "Ten to 20 years. Then you would announce an IPO and sell your stock to the public, making millions and millions."

"But what then?"

"Ah, now you get to the best part", said the banker smiling. "You could retire to a small coastal village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings, sip wine and play your guitar with your friends".

~~~

The work an unknown good man has done is like a vein of water flowing hidden underground, secretly making the ground green.

Thomas Carlyle

~~~

A woman, her husband and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next to them and noticed a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter.

Looking at her husband, she said, "As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter."

The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks and said, "Here. Have another cookie."

~~~

“No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.”

Amelia Earhart

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

If you do you’ll be glad you did!

One act of beneficence, one act of real usefulness, is worth all the abstract sentiment in the world.

Ann Radcliffe:

 

 

This afternoon I sent out a copy of my Kiwanis Club’s newsletter to a number of local friends. The newsletter included a number of things going on that result in making life a little bit better for others. I shared with them that my club will be holding a White Elephant Auction this Thursday with the proceeds going to children in need. I asked my friends if they had something they could donate and offered to have them join in the fun as my guest.

The newsletter announced the opportunity to volunteer at the upcoming Central Indiana Special Olympics. Our club has had the good fortune to be selected to run the award ceremonies at this years meet coming up in May. We have been chosen to do this for a number of years and it never fails to reward the volunteers with an unbelievable feeling of goodwill and belief in the dignity of everyone, especially these challenged athletes. We operate a number of awards platforms throughout the venue. The athletes participate in an Olympic style awards ceremony that includes the music, the presentation of medals and an expression of appreciation from their many fans. Fortunately many of my non-Kiwanis friends who cannot join my club come out and help and report it is one of the best things they do each year. If you live in the Indianapolis area I would love to share this experience with you, just let me know.

Even better if you can make it to the Northwest side of Indy some Thursday morning at 7:30 I would be glad to have you join us as my guest. After all we should not keep the good programs, great service opportunities and the many friends waiting to be met only to ourselves. If you can make it I think you will enjoy our hour together.

~~~

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain.

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

Emily Dickinson:

~~~

"Didn’t Your Mother Tell You?"

PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: "I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY’S MOTHER: "I don’t mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA’S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS’ MOTHER: "I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH’S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you — quit playing ball in the house! That’s the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: "Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER’S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you — don’t go biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY’S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you’re starting to look a little purple."

MARY’S MOTHER: "I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

BATMAN’S MOTHER: "It’s a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS’ MOTHER: "I’ve got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET’S MOTHER: "Well, all I’ve got to say is if you don’t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH’S MOTHER: "That’s a nice story, but now tell me where you’ve really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN’S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we’ve decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: "Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

~~~

Being evil means never having to say you’re sorry.

~~~

One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given. The next year things were different, however.

"The children came over in person to thank me," the grandparent told a friend triumphantly.

"How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the change in their behavior?"

"Oh, that’s easy…" the grandmother replied with a chuckle…

"This year I didn’t sign the checks."

~~~

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.

James M. Barrie:

~~~

A gal walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I’ve ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"
The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

~~~

"I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. ‘It was supposed to be hot today, I don’t understand!’"

Steven Wright

~~~

A teacher asked one of her pupils, "What’s the nation’s capital?"

The reply was, "Washington DC."

After the teacher asked the pupil what ‘DC’ stood for, the student added, "Dot com!"

~~~

We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.

Marian Wright Edelman:

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

Thanks World

“We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, ‘Why did this happen to me?’

Unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.”

 

 

It was a long day yesterday but it had some real highlights and as usual the Salvation Army volunteer recognition luncheon was at the top of the list. I was with some very good people and even made anew friend and that is always special. Of course I also appreciated winning a $75 gift certificate to a downtown gourmet restaurant. Even though I feel guilty taking anything from the Salvation Army I was able to force myself. Fortunately the restaurant donated it in appreciation for the truly good things the Army does to make our community a better place.

Sometime ago I shared with you that these gatherings are real eye openers for it is here that the volunteers go out of their way to thank the Army for providing them the opportunity to do many worthwhile things. If you live in Indianapolis and would like join in the joy let me know as there is always more to do and lots of good feelings to acquire.

I honestly believe that when we place value on the things we can do for others we will find that we have banked great treasures. Each of us has an opportunity to express our gratitude for all we are able to do through our daily actions. We expect much from the world and yet the world requires little from us but if we don’t do our part to do what we can to make it better, who will?

Here is a Ralph Marston piece that I would like to share with you in the spirit of the gratitude I feel for all I am able to do.

Let your blessings compel you

Stop for a moment and consider all the good things which you too often take for granted — your health, your family, the air you breathe, the water you drink, your home, your community, the magnificent universe around you, your faith, your friends, the knowledge you possess, your skills, and so much more. Indeed, you are blessed. You are filled with possibilities. Yet what good are your blessings if you’re not making the most of them? Of what value are your possibilities if you do not make the effort to fulfill them?

Think of the good things you have going for you. There may be many or there may be few. What matters most, is that you get them to grow. That comes from gratitude and appreciation. When you truly appreciate your blessings, they become powerfully compelling. And they grow, filling your life with quality and excellence, and compelling you to reach even higher.

Gratitude and thankfulness are more than just words or thoughts. To truly appreciate the good things in your life, you must take the actions necessary to nurture and defend them.

You’re blessed with a great starting point. Let your many blessings compel you to reach ever higher.

~~~

The world is hugged by the faithful arms of volunteers.

Everett Mámor

~~~

Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture.

"Why don’t you wait until your husband gets home?" someone asked.

"I could," my mother told the group. "But the couch is easier to move if he’s not on it."

~~~

Disk Full – Press F1 to belch.

~~~

Job

* Interviewer: "Do you think you can handle a variety of tasks?" Applicant: "I should say so. I’ve had nine totally different jobs in the past five months."

* The stern faced Personnel Officer told an applicant that they needed an individual who is totally responsible. "I sure qualify then." replied the applicant. "Everywhere I’ve worked, whenever something went wrong, I was responsible."

* "I see under ‘Personal Traits’ you have "Self-Starter" listed," said the Human Resources Officer. "Why is that important to you?" "It seems to me that if more employees were self-starters, then the bosses wouldn’t have to be cranks," the almost selected candidate replied.

~~~

to For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Approaching the counter at a local post office, I said  the stern-faced woman on the other side, "Are you the Postmistress?"

"No!" she replied testily, "I’m the Postmaster – Uncle Sam doesn’t pay me enough to be anyone’s mistress."

~~~

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Howard W. Newton

~~~

In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns. One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says: "So how is your strange business going?"

"What do you mean strange?"

"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"

"So?"

"Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?"

"It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun."

~~~

As for butter or margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.

~~~

Mrs. Johnson was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?"

"Two for a quarter," answered the vendor.

"How much is just one?" she asked.

"Fifteen cents," answered the vendor.

"Then I’ll take the other one," said Mrs. Johnson.

~~~

Don’t regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

~~~

A boss was educating an employee on effective sales technique.

"The main thing to remember is that repetition, repetition, repetition is the keynote!" he advised. "If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every possible way, cram it down people’s throats and beat them over the head with it! Above all, don’t ever forget to repeat and repeat and repeat! It’s the only way to get results!"

"Yes, sir!" the employee answered.

"And now, what was it you came in to see me about?" the boss asked.

The employee replied, "A Raise! A Raise! A Raise! A Raise! A Raise! A Raise! A Raise!"

~~~

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your intelligence.

William F. Buckley

~~~

One woman was talking to her friend.

"You should listen to my neighbor," she said. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that’s so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap, but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?"

~~~

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

Ashley Smith

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

Play Today!!

He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul’s estate.

Henry David Thoreau

 

 

It is another of those runaway days. With Kiwanis, a Salvation Army volunteer appreciation luncheon, an Arthritis seminar and a Immigration seminar there are only a few hours left. I am in the process of reducing the daily level of activity but these commitments where made some time ago and have to be honored. So what I am going to do is give you something I saved sometime ago. I decided to send it to you because one of my friends has been carrying too heavy a load and when I said she should take a vacation she told me all the reasons why she could not. I disagreed with her but could not convince her so I am dedicating the following to her and all the rest of you who just can’t stop.

 

Work, Rest and Play!

According to the world ethic, happiness is not natural – happiness is a pay-packet you earn for putting in the hours. There are, in particular, four erroneous, fearful beliefs about happiness that help make up the work ethic, and they are,

Happiness has to be deserved

Happiness has to be worked for

Happiness has to be earned

Happiness has to be paid for

The work ethic is all about labour: birth is labour, life is labour, love is labour, happiness is labour, work is labour, death is rest. We labour, not for the joy of it, but because we have learned to believe we must. The purpose of the work ethic is to work hard so as to atone for your guilt and unworthiness and thereby "deserve happiness" once more.

"Workaholism" is endemic, and for many of us our life is governed entirely by work. Once upon a time, we worked to live; now, we live to work. Any "life" we do have is merely recovery from work. We work, recover from work, and then work again. We go to the office to work.

After work, we bring home some work with us. For rest, we go tot he gym for a work-out. Totally exhausted, we go to therapy to work through our problems – "I’ve done a lot of work on myself," we say. After all that, there’s the house-work! Finally, we hit the sack, too tired to be happy, but our mind is still working and we cannot sleep. No problem! Insomnia is a wonderful chance to get more work done!

The work ethic is motivated by the belief that anything worthwhile requires great work, effort and labour. According to the work ethic: creativity is not inspiration; it’s perspiration; love is a labour, not a joy; success is a fight, it never comes easily; health is about a "no pain, no gain" attitude; salvation is hardest of all – it is a wrestling match with the angels – just ask Jacob. Nothing comes easily according to the work ethic.

We are too busy working to be happy, to be happy. In the last ten years, the average working week has increased by over ten hours to nearly 50 hours a week; the lunch break faces extinction; 6 out of 10 men and 4 out of 10 women work Saturdays; Sundays are now a workday for many. To cap it all, when we dare leave the office at 5pm, there is always one sad, brainless colleague who shouts out, "Part timer", or, "Only doing a half day?" Guilt ensues.

As a society we spend more and more time as a human doing and less and less time as a human being. Indeed, the work ethic despises rest and play. We hardly ever go out to play anymore; instead we go for cardiovascular workouts, business lunches and corporate away days. According to the work ethic, rest is "downtime" – nothing useful is happening. Too much rest and you lose your edge!

Kick the work ethic into touch! When you are relaxed and happy, you perform brilliantly. Remember the old saying: "you do not stop playing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop playing". Work is an attitude. So too is play. Go out to play!

Extracted from Happiness NOW , article by Robert Holden

~~~

If you are losing your leisure, look out; you may be losing your soul.

Logan P. Smith

~~~

DR. SEUSS COMPUTES

 

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

 

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,

And your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,

Then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!

 

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

 

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss

So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

‘Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!

 

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,

Then you have to flash your memory

and you’ll want to RAM your ROM.

Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

~~~

Take interest in your future. It’s where you’re going to spend the rest of your life.

~~~

A 50-ish man is driving on a slow highway in the middle of the night. He has a flat tire. He gets out of his car and is changing his tire, when out of the blue, another car pulls up behind him.

He thinks "That’s nice. Someone is stopping to help me."

The guy gets out of his car, walks to the front of the other car and lifts the hood.

The owner says: "What the hell are you doing?"

The other guy replies: "Well, I see you’re stealing the tires, so I’m taking the damn battery!"

~~~

"If you don’t make mistakes it means you’re not really trying… and you’re probably boring too."

~~~

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you don’t be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!’ It worked."

~~~

Friendship is what binds the world together in peace, may we all become friends.

~~~

Always remember.

The driver in front of you is always an idiot.

The driver in back of you is always a moron.

If there is a driver on your right, he/she is always stupid.

If there is a car on your left, the driver is always an imbecile until he/she finishes passing you and you can take that lane.

Then, he/she becomes an idiot.

~~~

"I was walking the streets of Glasgow the other week and I saw this sign: ‘This door is alarmed.’ I said to myself: ‘How do you think I feel?’"  

Arnold Brown

~~~

Come, gentle Spring; ethereal Mildness, come!

James Thomson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

Things are going well!

“Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here’s the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done.”

Dan Castellaneta

 

 

My tests at the Cardiologist office yesterday were surprisingly good as far as my traditional electrical Arterial Fibrillation is concerned. That is great news. If the combination of my last operation and my new meds keep me in sync I’ll not have to keep more ablation surgery. Now the issue is my lack of stamina that we hope is not created by my heart value leakage. So here is the plan – 90 days of reduced external activity and 90 days of stamina building exercise and diet changes. As you can guess I would much rather stay portly and eat everything in sight while still running around tilting windmills but I better not until I get back in shape. I don’t want them to decide a heart valve replacement is in my future. So another 3 months of a semi active lifestyle after which I hopefully be back in action. Don’t say I didn’t give you fair warning.

My other good news was the great job the ATT techs did in installing my new fiber optic driven television and internet service. 5 TV sets now have access to more than 300 channels, the DVR holds 120 hours of video and I can record up to four channels simultaneously. The DVR capability may really pay off during the Olympics and at other times when there are many on the air activities going on at the same time.

~~~

I also installed the new Norton 360 security suite. What a difference that made, everything is faster, my protection level has gone up a couple of notches and my system is backed up to one of my external drives on the fly.

I just realized that my shock find that everything worked well is due to the fact that I just don’t expect everything to happen they way it was promised anymore. Yes, I know I may regret saying that but so far no catastrophe has struck to prove me wrong.

So it is a good day, 70 degrees outside, sunshine, flowers in bloom, my health appears to be on the mend, and everything works better and faster, at my age you can’t hope for much more than that.

~~~

“I’ve noticed that being with you, I smile more often, I anger a little less quickly, the sun shines a little brighter, and life is so much sweeter. For being with you takes me to a different place: a place called love.”

Unknown

~~~

"Tips For Working Hard"

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hands look like they’re heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal email, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss – and you *will* get caught – your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they’re not there – it looks like you’re hardworking and conscientious even though you’re being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that the caller will give up or look for a solution that doesn’t involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my last message. I took care of it". If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently.

One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" – a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed According to George Costanza of ‘Seinfeld’, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Appear to Work Late Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g.9:35pm, 7:05am, etc…) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed

8. Stacking Strategy It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc… Can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.

9. Build Vocabulary Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don’t have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

~~~

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base."

Dave Barry

~~~

After just one year of marriage, Jill filed for divorce.

A friend, trying to console her said that you never know what a man’s like until you live with him.

"I should have left him right after the honeymoon. He didn’t even take me to Niagara Falls like he promised. All we did was drive through a car wash a couple of times, real slow."

~~~

I hate mornings. They’re so early

~~~

Two dapper old men sit on the porch of the retirement home every single afternoon. Two marriage-minded old ladies who move to the home set their sights on these most eligible of bachelors.

The first day, they dress up in their finest evening gowns and parade past the porch three times. The men don’t even look up. Every day for two weeks, the old ladies try something new to get their attention – new hats, new hairdos, new jewelry. But the men don’t give them a second glance.

Finally, the old ladies are so fed up one says to the other, "the only thing that’s going to get the attention of those old coots is a little flesh." The next afternoon, both ladies take off all their clothes in the bushes, then streak by the porch.

One of the old men says to the other, "My God, what did they have on today?"

The other codger shakes his head. "Can’t say for sure. But whatever they were wearing, it certainly needs ironing very badly."

~~~

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed. Never throw out anyone.

Audrey Hepburn

~~~

Two mothers are having a conversation about their children.

"How do you get your Pauly up so early on school mornings?" asks one of them.

"Oh, that’s easy," replies the other. "I just throw the cat on his bed."

"Why does that wake him up?"

"He sleeps with the dog."

~~~

“These things I warmly wish for you

Someone to love, some work to do,

A bit o’ sun, a bit o’ cheer,

And a guardian angel always near”

Irish Blessings quotes

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are more than 1000 readers from all over the world.
 

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