Ray's musings and humor

Archive for July, 2011

Live Now

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.

Cherokee Indian Proverb

 

I will be closing down the Daily for a few days since I will be away on family business. If all goes well I will be back with you next Tuesday. I would appreciate it if you closed down any worry receptors that you have active and have a frivolous and fun weekend. Ralph Marston is an advocate for living now and I totally agree. Things keep moving fast and tomorrow is often full of surprises and some of them are not all that great so look ahead, plan ahead and then leave the implementation for when the timing is right and enjoy the moment. Here is Marston on living now:

Live now

Let go of the need for things to be a particular way, and enjoy life just as it is. Let go of the assumption that you must always have something more, and find true enjoyment in all that is already in your life.

Dream big, meaningful dreams and make detailed, effective plans for bringing those dreams about. Live forward toward those dreams, but don’t ever postpone your enjoyment of life.

You are worthy of the very best that is in this moment, so fully accept it and experience it. This moment is worthy of the best that’s within you, so generously give of yourself.

Live the value that is your life right now. Even in the most ordinary moments, life is as rich and fulfilling as you choose to make it.

If you’re always waiting for later, or for things to get better, you’ll miss out on the very opportunities that will lift you ever higher. Instead, have confidence in the value of where you now are and what you now have.

Live now, and live as if you are the richest person who has ever lived. Because when you do, you are.

~~~

Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.

Author Unknown

~~~

Alternate Uses for Duct Tape

Hate finding your mailbox clogged with junk mail, advertising circulars and bills? Duct tape your mailbox shut.

Obliterate that blinking “12:00” on your VCR once and for all with a single strip of duct tape.

Gals – duct tape keeps the toilet seat down

Guys – duct tape keeps the toilet seat up

Wrap sticky-side out around your hand to pick up fuzz, lint and pet hair from clothing and furniture also picks up small pets from clothing and furniture.

Replace winter boots with socks wrapped in several layers of duct tape.

Duct tape hand held games to your car’s steering wheel for amusement during afternoon traffic jams. Also great on trips.

High chair falling apart after the third kid? Duct tape will make it last for three or four more.

Make a fashion statement: Patch old blue jeans with duct tape.

Broken wooden serving spoons? Repair with duct tape, instant mock-silver service.

Tired of refrigerator magnets tumbling to the floor each time you reach for a cold drink? Duct tape will hold the kids’ artwork until they graduate.

~~~

Manager: “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.”

Applicant: “Well, the work is much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.”

~~~

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” she replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said.

The child bowed her head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

~~~

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint”

Mark Twain

~~~

SOME FAMOUS LAST WORDS:

You’ll be perfectly safe behind this lead plate.

That’s not smoke, that’s steam.

Of course it’s sterile.

It was fresh last week.

These are the safe kind of mushrooms.

It should be O.K to swim in.

Clip the red wire first.

It’s supposed to make that noise.

It doesn’t look like the bridge is out.

They only attack when they are hungry.

The boss won’t mind.

Let’s ask those soldiers for directions.

I’m sure I turned my lights off.

I bet I can fit in there.

What can possible go wrong?

~~~

If you don’t learn anything from your mistakes, there’s no sense making them.

~~~

Two blondes were filling up at a gas station when the first one said to the other, I bet these awful gas prices are going even higher.

The second blonde replies, won’t affect me.  I always buy exactly $10 worth.

~~~

“A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.”

Caskie Stinnett

~~~

Answering Machine Messages

Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

This is not an answering machine — this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

This is the refrigerator. The answering machine is busy right now, but if you leave a message I will stick it to myself with a cow magnet.

~~~

Enjoy yourself.  It’s later than you think.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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Let’s celebrate today

“It matters not how long we live, but how.”

Festus Bailey

I mentioned to you the other day that I had attended a celebration of the life of my late friend Peter. I just want to remind you that neither of us has to limit the celebration of our lives until after we are gone. In fact if we are at all smart we will celebrate our own lives every day. You do know don’t you that we do have much to celebrate, we breathe, we have a place to lay our head, we have people we care about and who care about us, the list is almost limitless if we just take the time to appreciate the gifts we have been given.

Here is a simple poem I have saved. Most will read it quickly and move on, I hope you will read and savior it slowly for its message contains the key to happiness.

 

Life Is for Living

Life is a gift we’re given each and every day.

Dream about tomorrow, but live for today.

To live a little, you’ve got to love a whole lot.

Love turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Life’s a journey

always worth taking.

Take time to smell the roses… and tulips…

and daffodils… and lilacs… and sunflowers…

Count blessings like children count stars.

The secret of a happy life isn’t buried in a

treasure chest… it lies within your heart.

It’s the little moments that make life big.

Don’t wait. Make memories today.

Celebrate your life!

Author Unknown

~~~

“Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.”

Henry Van Dyke

~~~

Here is a refresher for the guys.

Woman’s Dictionary

* Yes = No.

* No = Yes.

* Maybe = No.

* I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry.

* We need = I want.

* It’s your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now.

* Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.

* We need to talk = I need to complain.

* Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to.

* I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron.

* This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

* I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper.

* I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

* Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

* How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate.

* I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

* You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

* Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.

~~~

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.

~~~

A doctor was administering a test for memory loss to three old gents at a Veteran’s Clinic.

He asked the first one, “What is 3 times 3?” And he replied, “One Hundred and Fifty Six.”

The doctor turned to the second old man. “What’s three times three?” The second old man said, “Tuesday.”

The doctor then asked the same of the third man who answered, “Nine.”

Thinking he was getting somewhere the doc asked, “And how did you arrive at that answer?”

The old vet answered, “Easy Doc…I just subtracted Tuesday from 156 and I got nine.”

~~~

Son to father:  Can you help me with my ethics homework, or would that be missing the point?

~~~

Our first day at a resort, my wife and I decided to hit the beach.  When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed.  I grabbed my cooler and was on my way back out when I stopped at the door and asked, “Can we drink beer on the beach?”

“Sure,” the maid replied, “but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first.”

~~~

“Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don’t reach them till they’re in their 40s.”

~~~

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilt.”

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”

~~~

I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

~~~

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

“So how was it?” his mother asked when they returned home.

“Great,” Little Johnny replied.

“Did you and your father have a good time?” asked his mother.

“Yeah, Daddy especially liked it,” exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, “One of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!”

~~~~~~

“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.”

Oliver Wendell Holmes

~~~

 

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I am taking a short detour

Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lately I have been feeling the frustration that comes from understanding that there are times when we can’t do what we want to do. Currently I have on my schedule some activities that require me to do more than I might be able to do because of temporary medical limitations. I struggle at times like this balancing the guilt that comes from failing to live up to someone else’s expectations and the realistic understanding that the inability to satisfactorily perform is often worse. So currently I have to avoid some scheduled activities in part because of doctors’ advice and a realistic understanding that I probably would not be able to do all that was expected and if the truth be known the fear of pain from a domineering wife who must be obeyed.

Hopefully the limitations will pass with an assist from my docs but until them I am limiting my activities to those where the only requirement is to be semi-lucid and relatively alert. I do have to travel out of state for a few days at the end of the week on critical family matters but I have learned that there are ways to do that without requiring too much physical movement. Don’t get me wrong there is more than enough that I can do and enjoy so my current limitations just result in rechanneling my efforts. The only real disappointment is the feeling I am letting someone else down.

OK enough of that. The lesson to be learned is that there is always something to do. All we need to do is understand our current reality and make choices that are feasible and that include a large dose of satisfaction. The all wise Ralph Marston wrote a piece not too long ago about going where you belong that I like, it helped me realize again why my love of so many different things provides me a multitude of places that are right for me. Here is what he said:

 

Put yourself where you belong. Go with what you know is right for you.

Whatever you most love to do is what you will do best.

Places where you love to be, and people you love to be around, will bring out your highest level of effectiveness.

Put yourself in those places and get yourself around those people as much as you can. Be where you belong and you’ll be your very best.

When something feels right, that means it is right for you.

Pay attention to your authentic feelings, and follow where they lead.

It’s not frivolous or selfish to do what you love. When you’re doing what you love, you’re able to give the best of who you are.

Be the way you want to be, feel the way you like to feel and do the things you wish to do. Get yourself where you truly belong, and live your own special greatness.

~~~

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Henry S. Haskins

~~~

A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds – and girth – was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership. When the salesman’s pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, “Now what would it take to get you into one of these?”

Looking at the Jeep’s high front seat, the woman replied, “Probably a crowbar.”

~~~

Just living is not enough… One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.

Hans Christian Anderson

~~~

Her Bumper Stickers

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

DON’T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN – AND I HAVE A GUN.

NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

I’M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON’T GO AWAY?

~~~

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

On his parent’s Russian roots: King took his mother, Minnie, to see “Fiddler on the Roof,” thinking the fictitious village of Anatevka might bring back memories of her own childhood village. “And when the show was over and we were back on the street,” Mr. King wrote in his autobiography ‘Name-Dropping: The Life and Lies of Alan King’, “I said, ‘Ma, how did you enjoy it? Did it bring back memories?'” “‘It was wonderful,’ she said. ‘Only I don’t remember so much singing.’ ”

~~~

I’ll drive you crazy, but you’re paying for gas.

~~~

He said: I took my daughter to the doctor for her 2-year-old check. They had her do coordination tests, like stacking blocks, and they watch and see if they walk properly.  And then the doctor said, “Allison, can you stand on one foot for me?” And she walked over and stood on his foot.

~~~

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”

Henry Youngman

~~~

Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year — “62-63,” “63-64,” “64-65,” etc.

One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, “Isn’t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?”

~~~

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.

Anthony J. D’Angelo

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I have been reincarnated

In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away

shing xiong

Even though I am temporally moving in slow motion I did attend a memorial service this past weekend that honored an old and dear friend who had passed some months ago. The event was a celebration of his life and it brought back many fond memories of all we shared over our more than twenty year friendship.

One of the things that made my friend special was that he never gave up. Over the years we were friends he had bouts of major cardiac and cancer problems. I can tell you his treatments would have taken me down, but it didn’t take my friend Peter down, at least not for long. He had retired from his primary vocation when we first met and while he did pursue some income producing opportunities he never let his health or material needs keep him from helping others, and he helped hundreds.

As I mentally reviewed the years that I knew him I realized for the first time just how much my life and the lives of most others has changed since I was a child. Back in the day, some seventy years ago, people had but one life, you worked hard until you could work no longer and then you slowly survived a few years until the end of life. In my case my first life ended when I first retired in 1990, more than twenty years ago, my second life allowed me to work for many years with Kiwanis International as we worked to help UNICEF’s effort to virtually eliminate the global problems of iodine deficiency that affected millions each year. My third life started when I retired from Kiwanis and was free to learn, volunteer, contribute, enjoy and truly have the best years of my life. I never believed in physical reincarnation but I have become a believer in lifestyle reincarnation, and you know what it does not take place because it is imposed on us externally it takes place because we chose to move on.

I have traveled extensively and in recent years I have been amazed at how many folks in their eighties behave and act younger than people did in their fifties those years so long ago. The sad part is that I think too many have been conditioned to believe they are only allowed one life and just succumb to the old model and sit on the sidelines withering away as the reborn are out having fun. I know from watching my friend Peter as he did what he did even when he was in pain that it is up to us how we chose to go on. Meanwhile I am having too much fun to end my third life just yet, what about you?

~~~

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Unknown

~~~

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said “Chopsticks are provided only on request.” “But,” the man countered, “if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn’t have to pay someone to wash all the forks.” “True,” the waiter shot back, “but we would have to hire three more people to clean up the mess.”

~~~

“Economy” today means a large container of detergent or a small car.

~~~

She said about having and raising kids that:

* If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

* Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

* To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.

* The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

* The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~ and hide the keys to the car.

* The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.

* The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

* A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.

* There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

* Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

~~~

A bore is a person who talks so much about himself that you don’t get a chance to talk about yourself.

~~~

Friends took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada.  To help pass the time, the boy practiced his reading skills by calling out road signs. He fell asleep just before they entered Quebec.

When he awoke, he saw the French highway signs and said, in a worried tone, “I think I forgot how to read while I was asleep.”

~~~

Everyone hears what you say.

Friends listen to what you say.

Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

~~~

Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. Little Johnny: Here it is!

Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

Class: Little Johnny!

~~~

All generalizations are bad.

R.H. Grenier

~~~

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

“I’m O.K. but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.

“What did he say,” asked the nurse.

“OOPS!”

~~~

Life is the sum of all your choices.

Albert Camus

~~~

She said: Using a new painting program on my computer, I managed to come up with a very credible still life of fruit. I made a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a graphic designer. She called when it arrived.

“Isn’t it good?” I asked.

She chuckled and in a tone that echoed mine from years ago, replied, “Mom, it’s beautiful. We put it on the refrigerator.”

~~~

The world is a playground, and life is pushing my swing.

Natalie Kocsis

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Lets you and me have a monumental day

Climb slowly, steadily, enjoying each passing moment; and the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey.

Harold V. Melchert

As some of you know I have been trying to limit my commitments to things where I would not be too critical or important to the success of the task. It is not that I am any less committed, it is just that my health status sometimes forces me to take a less active role. That is my current situation, for a little while now I have been having some mobility and breathing problems and the docs have limited my activities, especially any outside activities during the current torrid heat wave.

Hopefully it is a transient condition, but until I am back to normal I am pretty much grounded. I will go in for some tests on August 5th. So I am again at one of those times when I get to make a choice. I can lay back and bemoan my temporary limitations or find those things I seldom get to do so I can get enthusiastically involved in thing’s I can do. Of course you know what my choice is; I am not going to waste time feeling bad. I have set up a number of leisurely meals with friends and colleagues, I will attend a few non-physical planning meetings, do some computing, do some learning, get in some reading and maybe even process a thought or two. I will have to fly out of town for a few days before I go for my tests but that probably only means leisurely wheelchair rides between airport gates. So in truth I am looking forward to a few monumental days, just not the kind that was originally on my calendar.

Not long ago Steve Brunkhorst wrote about monumental days and I am grateful for his reminder of the options we all have. Here is what he wrote.

 

A Monumental Day

A monumental day is a day in which we learn well, live with enthusiasm, and hope with faith and gratitude. Each day we have the chance to learn new skills, create new visions, and ask new questions that will lead us to become happier, healthier, and more abundant. How can we make each day a monumental day in our lives?

First, we can focus our awareness with questions. Questions challenge us to reach further for creative solutions and new ideas; they help us take actions that lead to happiness and success in our personal lives and careers.

As Albert Einstein has suggested, when we keep questioning, we can keep learning, living, and hoping. Here are three great questions to ask each day: What am I learning today? What am I living for today? What am I hoping for today?

Second, accept the gifts that each day presents with a spirit of gratitude. There are gifts of nature and spirit, gifts of helping and service, and gifts of knowledge and experience. Gratitude for these gifts allows focusing the mind in the present; it attracts more of those things that will fill our lives with joy and abundance. Most importantly, take at least one more step toward your most important objective. It might be identifying a need or goal and writing it down. It might be making one necessary call or researching one more book.

What would be one small step you could take today? Over time, small steps forward accumulate into goals achieved. Best of all, these monumental days in which we question, live in gratitude, and move forward will produce monumental lives of service, happiness and abundance.

~~~

Keep your face to the sunshine… and you cannot see the shadows.

Helen Keller

~~~

Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives.

Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes.

Then Bill said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word.”

“Wow!” said Doug, “How do you manage that?”

“It’s easy,” replied Bill. “My last words are always ‘Yes, Dear.'”

~~~

“The Five Stages of Life”

To Grow Up

To Fill Out

To Slim Down

To Hold It In

To Hell With It

~~~

A priest was given the job of hearing the confessions of an order of monks. The priest returned to his parish that night and complained to one of the nuns about how long each of the monks took to enumerate all of their sins.

“Oh Father,” said the nun. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

The priest replied, “Oh it was worse than you can imagine. It was like being stoned to death with popcorn.”

~~~

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

~~~

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher’s desk and said, “Miss Francis, I ain’t got no crayons.”

“Willie,” Miss Francis said, “you mean, “I don’t have any crayons.’ You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

“Not really,” Willie said, “What happened to all them crayons?”

~~~

“I think Little League (baseball)  is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”

Yogi Berra

~~~

A minister decided to try something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross!”

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison “The Old Rugged Cross.”

The pastor hollered out, “Grace!”

The congregation began to sing “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.”

The pastor said, “Power!”

The congregation sang “There is Power in the Blood.”

The Pastor said, “Sex!”

The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing “Precious Memories.”

~~~

The foolish seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grow it under their feet.

James Oppenheim

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Come on, we can do it.

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.

Henry Ford

Yesterday as I was brainstorming with the head of one of my favorite kid’s serving organization I again realized the difference between what I can do and what we can do. My friend and his family have single handedly made life brighter for hundreds of children going through cancer treatment and they have learned how much joy serving others can be. Even though they already do more than anyone else I know, they want to do even more. In our discussion we explored the option of finding ways that they could directly help additional kids versus developing opportunities to enhance the services they already offer by providing the recovering kids and their families a way that they too could find the joy that comes from doing something for someone else.

I have often wondered why so many of us are reluctant to check with friends and others to see if they might like to help on a project or a service to others. I just don’t understand why if we are doing something that is meaningful to us why we are reluctant to offer that same chance to someone else. Of course I am drifting as usual but I was excited by my friend’s enthusiasm with the possibility of adding others to his team so they could help reach more kids who need a little help and a friendly face. Naturally it goes without saying that my friend is not looking for more credit, more medals or the like, rather he is looking how to unselfishly find ways to reach more kids and enhance the services offered.

 

Yep when it comes to helping someone in need me is OK but we is so much better.

Together we can fight this,

Together we can win,

Together we will be always,

Together always you and me.

Charlotte Murray

~~~

A man may do an immense deal of good, if he does not care who gets the credit for it.

Father Strickland

~~~

A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, “You’re a man of God. Can’t you do something about this?”

He replied, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m in sales, not management.”

~~~

The human race is divided into two classes–those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, “Why wasn’t it done the other way?”

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

~~~

A man was celebrating his 80th birthday and his 50th wedding anniversary.

A reported asked, “Sir, how do you account for looking so fit?”

“Well,” the old-timer told him, “when we got married, my wife and I made an agreement that any time we saw an argument coming on, I would grab my hat and walk three times around the block. You’d be surprised what 50 years of outdoor exercise will do for your health!”

~~~

Meditation is not what you Think.

~~~

Bill has the typical observant wife. One evening after dinner, she handed him a bottle of ‘Rogaine’ hair restorer. Bill told her while he was indeed starting to thin out some, he didn’t really think he needed hair restorer yet.

She said, “Oh. It’s not for you, it’s for your secretary, she seems to be losing quite a bit of her hair on your jacket.”

~~~

One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.

~~~

During a recent publicity outing, Jennifer sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: “Will I be acquitted?”

~~~

“The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.”

Frederick Buechner

~~~

A worried Mrs. Melnik sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.

“How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?”

“Oh, mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven’t had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I’m supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight.”

The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. “Oh, darling,” she said, “sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I’ll be over in half an hour. I’ll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I’ll feed the baby and I’ll call a repairman I know who’ll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I’ll do everything. In fact, I’ll even call Morty at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once.”

“Morty?” said the housewife. “Who’s Morty?”

“Why, Morty! Your husband! ….Is this 555-1374?

“No, this is 555-1375.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I have the wrong number.”

There was a short pause and the housewife said, “Does this mean you’re not coming over?”

~~~

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Meade

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Sing Anyway

Some days there won’t be a song in your heart.  Sing anyway.

Emory Austin

 

I am moving a little too slow at the moment and have an early breakfast meeting so I am again retrieving from the vault.

Ray’s Daily first published on July 20, 2004

 

Well my social calendar is full today and tomorrow, what with blood draws, Hematologist and Cardiologist appointments, pacemaker checks and EKG’s I will be pretty busy. It is nice to be so wanted. Maybe a friendship club would be cheaper though.

~~~

“The longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is to play on the one string we have and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”

Charles Swindoll

~~~

Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.

John Macnaughton

~~~

It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline in the Northwest.

“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.

“What are my choices?” he asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.

~~~

Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

~~~

Grandma Goldberg, a woman of 85, was slowly ambling down the street when she met her physician Dr. Cohen. Dr. Cohen, a dapper graying man in his early 60’s asked the elderly lady, “Mrs. Goldberg how are you feeling?”

For a long moment the woman gave the good doctor a terrible stare and then she said — “You ask me how I’m feeling! I’ll tell you how I’m feeling!! My legs hurt, my chest is sore, my heart is beating too fast and I can’t sleep!!! I have horrible headaches and stomach pains too!”

The good doctor looked at the elderly lady with compassion, “If you’re feeling so awful, why didn’t you come and see me right away?”

Grandma Goldberg let out a sigh and said, “I was just waiting until I felt a little better.”

~~~

“A man sent a postcard from Las Vegas to a friend: Having a wonderful time. Wish I could afford it.”

Myron Cohen

~~~

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin …As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.  As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee.  “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?  Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrr, Gerrrr, Kiiiing.”

~~~

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.

Amos Bronson Alcott

~~~

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a grant designating Southern slang, or Y’allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary.

1) HEIDI – (noun) – Greeting.

2) HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: “Heidi, Hire yew?”

3) BARD – (verb) – Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow”. Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

4) JAWJUH – (noun) – The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner.”

5) BAMMER – (noun) – The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000 in improvements.”

6) MUNTS – (noun) – A calendar division. Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”

7) THANK – (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

8) BARE – (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a nutter bare.”

9) IGNERT – (adjective) – Not smart. See “Arkansas native.” Usage:” Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!”

10) RANCH – (noun) – A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts. Usage: “I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”

~~~

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

~~~

A guy meets a childhood pal: “What are you doing for yourself these days?”

I’m a fireman.

Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.

Well, if you want some good advice, you’ve got to install in your house a pole that will go to the basement so your kid can practice, ’cause the hardest thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the middle of the night.

Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again:

Well, did your son become a fireman?

No, but I have two daughters who are “pole dancers.”

~~~

Q: Did you hear about the new auto insurance policy for Jewish mothers?

A: It is known as the “My Fault” policy.

~~~

IT’S TIME TO DIET AND EXERCISE WHEN…

…you try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.

…your children look through your wedding album and want to know who Daddy’s first wife was.

…you get winded just saying the words “six-kilometer run.”

…you analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humor.

…you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but not while you’re wearing a bathing suit.

~~~

Law of Institutional Food: Everything is cold except what should be.

~~~

An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.

“For instance,” he said, “some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles.”

“What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?” asked a sarcastic member of the group.

“I’m not absolutely sure,” answered the expert, “but I bet it sounds something like. “Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!'”

~~~

Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.

Marcus Antonius

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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