Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.
Cherokee Indian Proverb
I will be closing down the Daily for a few days since I will be away on family business. If all goes well I will be back with you next Tuesday. I would appreciate it if you closed down any worry receptors that you have active and have a frivolous and fun weekend. Ralph Marston is an advocate for living now and I totally agree. Things keep moving fast and tomorrow is often full of surprises and some of them are not all that great so look ahead, plan ahead and then leave the implementation for when the timing is right and enjoy the moment. Here is Marston on living now:
Let go of the need for things to be a particular way, and enjoy life just as it is. Let go of the assumption that you must always have something more, and find true enjoyment in all that is already in your life.
Dream big, meaningful dreams and make detailed, effective plans for bringing those dreams about. Live forward toward those dreams, but don’t ever postpone your enjoyment of life.
You are worthy of the very best that is in this moment, so fully accept it and experience it. This moment is worthy of the best that’s within you, so generously give of yourself.
Live the value that is your life right now. Even in the most ordinary moments, life is as rich and fulfilling as you choose to make it.
If you’re always waiting for later, or for things to get better, you’ll miss out on the very opportunities that will lift you ever higher. Instead, have confidence in the value of where you now are and what you now have.
Live now, and live as if you are the richest person who has ever lived. Because when you do, you are.
Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.
Alternate Uses for Duct Tape
Hate finding your mailbox clogged with junk mail, advertising circulars and bills? Duct tape your mailbox shut.
Obliterate that blinking “12:00” on your VCR once and for all with a single strip of duct tape.
Gals – duct tape keeps the toilet seat down
Guys – duct tape keeps the toilet seat up
Wrap sticky-side out around your hand to pick up fuzz, lint and pet hair from clothing and furniture also picks up small pets from clothing and furniture.
Replace winter boots with socks wrapped in several layers of duct tape.
Duct tape hand held games to your car’s steering wheel for amusement during afternoon traffic jams. Also great on trips.
High chair falling apart after the third kid? Duct tape will make it last for three or four more.
Make a fashion statement: Patch old blue jeans with duct tape.
Broken wooden serving spoons? Repair with duct tape, instant mock-silver service.
Tired of refrigerator magnets tumbling to the floor each time you reach for a cold drink? Duct tape will hold the kids’ artwork until they graduate.
Manager: “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.”
Applicant: “Well, the work is much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.”
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say,” she replied.
“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said.
The child bowed her head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint”
SOME FAMOUS LAST WORDS:
You’ll be perfectly safe behind this lead plate.
That’s not smoke, that’s steam.
Of course it’s sterile.
It was fresh last week.
These are the safe kind of mushrooms.
It should be O.K to swim in.
Clip the red wire first.
It’s supposed to make that noise.
It doesn’t look like the bridge is out.
They only attack when they are hungry.
The boss won’t mind.
Let’s ask those soldiers for directions.
I’m sure I turned my lights off.
I bet I can fit in there.
What can possible go wrong?
If you don’t learn anything from your mistakes, there’s no sense making them.
Two blondes were filling up at a gas station when the first one said to the other, I bet these awful gas prices are going even higher.
The second blonde replies, won’t affect me. I always buy exactly $10 worth.
“A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.”
Answering Machine Messages
Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
This is not an answering machine — this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
This is the refrigerator. The answering machine is busy right now, but if you leave a message I will stick it to myself with a cow magnet.
Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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