Ray's musings and humor

Archive for July, 2011

Live Now

Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.

Cherokee Indian Proverb

 

I will be closing down the Daily for a few days since I will be away on family business. If all goes well I will be back with you next Tuesday. I would appreciate it if you closed down any worry receptors that you have active and have a frivolous and fun weekend. Ralph Marston is an advocate for living now and I totally agree. Things keep moving fast and tomorrow is often full of surprises and some of them are not all that great so look ahead, plan ahead and then leave the implementation for when the timing is right and enjoy the moment. Here is Marston on living now:

Live now

Let go of the need for things to be a particular way, and enjoy life just as it is. Let go of the assumption that you must always have something more, and find true enjoyment in all that is already in your life.

Dream big, meaningful dreams and make detailed, effective plans for bringing those dreams about. Live forward toward those dreams, but don’t ever postpone your enjoyment of life.

You are worthy of the very best that is in this moment, so fully accept it and experience it. This moment is worthy of the best that’s within you, so generously give of yourself.

Live the value that is your life right now. Even in the most ordinary moments, life is as rich and fulfilling as you choose to make it.

If you’re always waiting for later, or for things to get better, you’ll miss out on the very opportunities that will lift you ever higher. Instead, have confidence in the value of where you now are and what you now have.

Live now, and live as if you are the richest person who has ever lived. Because when you do, you are.

~~~

Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.

Author Unknown

~~~

Alternate Uses for Duct Tape

Hate finding your mailbox clogged with junk mail, advertising circulars and bills? Duct tape your mailbox shut.

Obliterate that blinking “12:00” on your VCR once and for all with a single strip of duct tape.

Gals – duct tape keeps the toilet seat down

Guys – duct tape keeps the toilet seat up

Wrap sticky-side out around your hand to pick up fuzz, lint and pet hair from clothing and furniture also picks up small pets from clothing and furniture.

Replace winter boots with socks wrapped in several layers of duct tape.

Duct tape hand held games to your car’s steering wheel for amusement during afternoon traffic jams. Also great on trips.

High chair falling apart after the third kid? Duct tape will make it last for three or four more.

Make a fashion statement: Patch old blue jeans with duct tape.

Broken wooden serving spoons? Repair with duct tape, instant mock-silver service.

Tired of refrigerator magnets tumbling to the floor each time you reach for a cold drink? Duct tape will hold the kids’ artwork until they graduate.

~~~

Manager: “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.”

Applicant: “Well, the work is much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.”

~~~

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” she replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said.

The child bowed her head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

~~~

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint”

Mark Twain

~~~

SOME FAMOUS LAST WORDS:

You’ll be perfectly safe behind this lead plate.

That’s not smoke, that’s steam.

Of course it’s sterile.

It was fresh last week.

These are the safe kind of mushrooms.

It should be O.K to swim in.

Clip the red wire first.

It’s supposed to make that noise.

It doesn’t look like the bridge is out.

They only attack when they are hungry.

The boss won’t mind.

Let’s ask those soldiers for directions.

I’m sure I turned my lights off.

I bet I can fit in there.

What can possible go wrong?

~~~

If you don’t learn anything from your mistakes, there’s no sense making them.

~~~

Two blondes were filling up at a gas station when the first one said to the other, I bet these awful gas prices are going even higher.

The second blonde replies, won’t affect me.  I always buy exactly $10 worth.

~~~

“A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.”

Caskie Stinnett

~~~

Answering Machine Messages

Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

This is not an answering machine — this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

This is the refrigerator. The answering machine is busy right now, but if you leave a message I will stick it to myself with a cow magnet.

~~~

Enjoy yourself.  It’s later than you think.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Let’s celebrate today

“It matters not how long we live, but how.”

Festus Bailey

I mentioned to you the other day that I had attended a celebration of the life of my late friend Peter. I just want to remind you that neither of us has to limit the celebration of our lives until after we are gone. In fact if we are at all smart we will celebrate our own lives every day. You do know don’t you that we do have much to celebrate, we breathe, we have a place to lay our head, we have people we care about and who care about us, the list is almost limitless if we just take the time to appreciate the gifts we have been given.

Here is a simple poem I have saved. Most will read it quickly and move on, I hope you will read and savior it slowly for its message contains the key to happiness.

 

Life Is for Living

Life is a gift we’re given each and every day.

Dream about tomorrow, but live for today.

To live a little, you’ve got to love a whole lot.

Love turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Life’s a journey

always worth taking.

Take time to smell the roses… and tulips…

and daffodils… and lilacs… and sunflowers…

Count blessings like children count stars.

The secret of a happy life isn’t buried in a

treasure chest… it lies within your heart.

It’s the little moments that make life big.

Don’t wait. Make memories today.

Celebrate your life!

Author Unknown

~~~

“Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.”

Henry Van Dyke

~~~

Here is a refresher for the guys.

Woman’s Dictionary

* Yes = No.

* No = Yes.

* Maybe = No.

* I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry.

* We need = I want.

* It’s your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now.

* Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.

* We need to talk = I need to complain.

* Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to.

* I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron.

* This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

* I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper.

* I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

* Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

* How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate.

* I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

* You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

* Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.

~~~

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.

~~~

A doctor was administering a test for memory loss to three old gents at a Veteran’s Clinic.

He asked the first one, “What is 3 times 3?” And he replied, “One Hundred and Fifty Six.”

The doctor turned to the second old man. “What’s three times three?” The second old man said, “Tuesday.”

The doctor then asked the same of the third man who answered, “Nine.”

Thinking he was getting somewhere the doc asked, “And how did you arrive at that answer?”

The old vet answered, “Easy Doc…I just subtracted Tuesday from 156 and I got nine.”

~~~

Son to father:  Can you help me with my ethics homework, or would that be missing the point?

~~~

Our first day at a resort, my wife and I decided to hit the beach.  When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed.  I grabbed my cooler and was on my way back out when I stopped at the door and asked, “Can we drink beer on the beach?”

“Sure,” the maid replied, “but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first.”

~~~

“Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don’t reach them till they’re in their 40s.”

~~~

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilt.”

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”

~~~

I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

~~~

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

“So how was it?” his mother asked when they returned home.

“Great,” Little Johnny replied.

“Did you and your father have a good time?” asked his mother.

“Yeah, Daddy especially liked it,” exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, “One of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!”

~~~~~~

“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.”

Oliver Wendell Holmes

~~~

 

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I am taking a short detour

Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lately I have been feeling the frustration that comes from understanding that there are times when we can’t do what we want to do. Currently I have on my schedule some activities that require me to do more than I might be able to do because of temporary medical limitations. I struggle at times like this balancing the guilt that comes from failing to live up to someone else’s expectations and the realistic understanding that the inability to satisfactorily perform is often worse. So currently I have to avoid some scheduled activities in part because of doctors’ advice and a realistic understanding that I probably would not be able to do all that was expected and if the truth be known the fear of pain from a domineering wife who must be obeyed.

Hopefully the limitations will pass with an assist from my docs but until them I am limiting my activities to those where the only requirement is to be semi-lucid and relatively alert. I do have to travel out of state for a few days at the end of the week on critical family matters but I have learned that there are ways to do that without requiring too much physical movement. Don’t get me wrong there is more than enough that I can do and enjoy so my current limitations just result in rechanneling my efforts. The only real disappointment is the feeling I am letting someone else down.

OK enough of that. The lesson to be learned is that there is always something to do. All we need to do is understand our current reality and make choices that are feasible and that include a large dose of satisfaction. The all wise Ralph Marston wrote a piece not too long ago about going where you belong that I like, it helped me realize again why my love of so many different things provides me a multitude of places that are right for me. Here is what he said:

 

Put yourself where you belong. Go with what you know is right for you.

Whatever you most love to do is what you will do best.

Places where you love to be, and people you love to be around, will bring out your highest level of effectiveness.

Put yourself in those places and get yourself around those people as much as you can. Be where you belong and you’ll be your very best.

When something feels right, that means it is right for you.

Pay attention to your authentic feelings, and follow where they lead.

It’s not frivolous or selfish to do what you love. When you’re doing what you love, you’re able to give the best of who you are.

Be the way you want to be, feel the way you like to feel and do the things you wish to do. Get yourself where you truly belong, and live your own special greatness.

~~~

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

Henry S. Haskins

~~~

A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds – and girth – was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership. When the salesman’s pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, “Now what would it take to get you into one of these?”

Looking at the Jeep’s high front seat, the woman replied, “Probably a crowbar.”

~~~

Just living is not enough… One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.

Hans Christian Anderson

~~~

Her Bumper Stickers

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

DON’T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

I’M OUT OF ESTROGEN – AND I HAVE A GUN.

NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

I’M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON’T GO AWAY?

~~~

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

Dale Carnegie

~~~

On his parent’s Russian roots: King took his mother, Minnie, to see “Fiddler on the Roof,” thinking the fictitious village of Anatevka might bring back memories of her own childhood village. “And when the show was over and we were back on the street,” Mr. King wrote in his autobiography ‘Name-Dropping: The Life and Lies of Alan King’, “I said, ‘Ma, how did you enjoy it? Did it bring back memories?'” “‘It was wonderful,’ she said. ‘Only I don’t remember so much singing.’ ”

~~~

I’ll drive you crazy, but you’re paying for gas.

~~~

He said: I took my daughter to the doctor for her 2-year-old check. They had her do coordination tests, like stacking blocks, and they watch and see if they walk properly.  And then the doctor said, “Allison, can you stand on one foot for me?” And she walked over and stood on his foot.

~~~

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”

Henry Youngman

~~~

Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year — “62-63,” “63-64,” “64-65,” etc.

One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, “Isn’t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?”

~~~

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.

Anthony J. D’Angelo

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I have been reincarnated

In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away

shing xiong

Even though I am temporally moving in slow motion I did attend a memorial service this past weekend that honored an old and dear friend who had passed some months ago. The event was a celebration of his life and it brought back many fond memories of all we shared over our more than twenty year friendship.

One of the things that made my friend special was that he never gave up. Over the years we were friends he had bouts of major cardiac and cancer problems. I can tell you his treatments would have taken me down, but it didn’t take my friend Peter down, at least not for long. He had retired from his primary vocation when we first met and while he did pursue some income producing opportunities he never let his health or material needs keep him from helping others, and he helped hundreds.

As I mentally reviewed the years that I knew him I realized for the first time just how much my life and the lives of most others has changed since I was a child. Back in the day, some seventy years ago, people had but one life, you worked hard until you could work no longer and then you slowly survived a few years until the end of life. In my case my first life ended when I first retired in 1990, more than twenty years ago, my second life allowed me to work for many years with Kiwanis International as we worked to help UNICEF’s effort to virtually eliminate the global problems of iodine deficiency that affected millions each year. My third life started when I retired from Kiwanis and was free to learn, volunteer, contribute, enjoy and truly have the best years of my life. I never believed in physical reincarnation but I have become a believer in lifestyle reincarnation, and you know what it does not take place because it is imposed on us externally it takes place because we chose to move on.

I have traveled extensively and in recent years I have been amazed at how many folks in their eighties behave and act younger than people did in their fifties those years so long ago. The sad part is that I think too many have been conditioned to believe they are only allowed one life and just succumb to the old model and sit on the sidelines withering away as the reborn are out having fun. I know from watching my friend Peter as he did what he did even when he was in pain that it is up to us how we chose to go on. Meanwhile I am having too much fun to end my third life just yet, what about you?

~~~

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Unknown

~~~

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said “Chopsticks are provided only on request.” “But,” the man countered, “if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn’t have to pay someone to wash all the forks.” “True,” the waiter shot back, “but we would have to hire three more people to clean up the mess.”

~~~

“Economy” today means a large container of detergent or a small car.

~~~

She said about having and raising kids that:

* If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

* Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.

* To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.

* The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.

* The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~ and hide the keys to the car.

* The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.

* The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.

* A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.

* There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

* Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.

~~~

A bore is a person who talks so much about himself that you don’t get a chance to talk about yourself.

~~~

Friends took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada.  To help pass the time, the boy practiced his reading skills by calling out road signs. He fell asleep just before they entered Quebec.

When he awoke, he saw the French highway signs and said, in a worried tone, “I think I forgot how to read while I was asleep.”

~~~

Everyone hears what you say.

Friends listen to what you say.

Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

~~~

Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America. Little Johnny: Here it is!

Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?

Class: Little Johnny!

~~~

All generalizations are bad.

R.H. Grenier

~~~

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

“I’m O.K. but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.

“What did he say,” asked the nurse.

“OOPS!”

~~~

Life is the sum of all your choices.

Albert Camus

~~~

She said: Using a new painting program on my computer, I managed to come up with a very credible still life of fruit. I made a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a graphic designer. She called when it arrived.

“Isn’t it good?” I asked.

She chuckled and in a tone that echoed mine from years ago, replied, “Mom, it’s beautiful. We put it on the refrigerator.”

~~~

The world is a playground, and life is pushing my swing.

Natalie Kocsis

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Lets you and me have a monumental day

Climb slowly, steadily, enjoying each passing moment; and the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey.

Harold V. Melchert

As some of you know I have been trying to limit my commitments to things where I would not be too critical or important to the success of the task. It is not that I am any less committed, it is just that my health status sometimes forces me to take a less active role. That is my current situation, for a little while now I have been having some mobility and breathing problems and the docs have limited my activities, especially any outside activities during the current torrid heat wave.

Hopefully it is a transient condition, but until I am back to normal I am pretty much grounded. I will go in for some tests on August 5th. So I am again at one of those times when I get to make a choice. I can lay back and bemoan my temporary limitations or find those things I seldom get to do so I can get enthusiastically involved in thing’s I can do. Of course you know what my choice is; I am not going to waste time feeling bad. I have set up a number of leisurely meals with friends and colleagues, I will attend a few non-physical planning meetings, do some computing, do some learning, get in some reading and maybe even process a thought or two. I will have to fly out of town for a few days before I go for my tests but that probably only means leisurely wheelchair rides between airport gates. So in truth I am looking forward to a few monumental days, just not the kind that was originally on my calendar.

Not long ago Steve Brunkhorst wrote about monumental days and I am grateful for his reminder of the options we all have. Here is what he wrote.

 

A Monumental Day

A monumental day is a day in which we learn well, live with enthusiasm, and hope with faith and gratitude. Each day we have the chance to learn new skills, create new visions, and ask new questions that will lead us to become happier, healthier, and more abundant. How can we make each day a monumental day in our lives?

First, we can focus our awareness with questions. Questions challenge us to reach further for creative solutions and new ideas; they help us take actions that lead to happiness and success in our personal lives and careers.

As Albert Einstein has suggested, when we keep questioning, we can keep learning, living, and hoping. Here are three great questions to ask each day: What am I learning today? What am I living for today? What am I hoping for today?

Second, accept the gifts that each day presents with a spirit of gratitude. There are gifts of nature and spirit, gifts of helping and service, and gifts of knowledge and experience. Gratitude for these gifts allows focusing the mind in the present; it attracts more of those things that will fill our lives with joy and abundance. Most importantly, take at least one more step toward your most important objective. It might be identifying a need or goal and writing it down. It might be making one necessary call or researching one more book.

What would be one small step you could take today? Over time, small steps forward accumulate into goals achieved. Best of all, these monumental days in which we question, live in gratitude, and move forward will produce monumental lives of service, happiness and abundance.

~~~

Keep your face to the sunshine… and you cannot see the shadows.

Helen Keller

~~~

Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives.

Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes.

Then Bill said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word.”

“Wow!” said Doug, “How do you manage that?”

“It’s easy,” replied Bill. “My last words are always ‘Yes, Dear.'”

~~~

“The Five Stages of Life”

To Grow Up

To Fill Out

To Slim Down

To Hold It In

To Hell With It

~~~

A priest was given the job of hearing the confessions of an order of monks. The priest returned to his parish that night and complained to one of the nuns about how long each of the monks took to enumerate all of their sins.

“Oh Father,” said the nun. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

The priest replied, “Oh it was worse than you can imagine. It was like being stoned to death with popcorn.”

~~~

Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

~~~

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher’s desk and said, “Miss Francis, I ain’t got no crayons.”

“Willie,” Miss Francis said, “you mean, “I don’t have any crayons.’ You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at?”

“Not really,” Willie said, “What happened to all them crayons?”

~~~

“I think Little League (baseball)  is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”

Yogi Berra

~~~

A minister decided to try something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross!”

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison “The Old Rugged Cross.”

The pastor hollered out, “Grace!”

The congregation began to sing “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.”

The pastor said, “Power!”

The congregation sang “There is Power in the Blood.”

The Pastor said, “Sex!”

The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing “Precious Memories.”

~~~

The foolish seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grow it under their feet.

James Oppenheim

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Come on, we can do it.

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.

Henry Ford

Yesterday as I was brainstorming with the head of one of my favorite kid’s serving organization I again realized the difference between what I can do and what we can do. My friend and his family have single handedly made life brighter for hundreds of children going through cancer treatment and they have learned how much joy serving others can be. Even though they already do more than anyone else I know, they want to do even more. In our discussion we explored the option of finding ways that they could directly help additional kids versus developing opportunities to enhance the services they already offer by providing the recovering kids and their families a way that they too could find the joy that comes from doing something for someone else.

I have often wondered why so many of us are reluctant to check with friends and others to see if they might like to help on a project or a service to others. I just don’t understand why if we are doing something that is meaningful to us why we are reluctant to offer that same chance to someone else. Of course I am drifting as usual but I was excited by my friend’s enthusiasm with the possibility of adding others to his team so they could help reach more kids who need a little help and a friendly face. Naturally it goes without saying that my friend is not looking for more credit, more medals or the like, rather he is looking how to unselfishly find ways to reach more kids and enhance the services offered.

 

Yep when it comes to helping someone in need me is OK but we is so much better.

Together we can fight this,

Together we can win,

Together we will be always,

Together always you and me.

Charlotte Murray

~~~

A man may do an immense deal of good, if he does not care who gets the credit for it.

Father Strickland

~~~

A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night. A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, “You’re a man of God. Can’t you do something about this?”

He replied, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m in sales, not management.”

~~~

The human race is divided into two classes–those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, “Why wasn’t it done the other way?”

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

~~~

A man was celebrating his 80th birthday and his 50th wedding anniversary.

A reported asked, “Sir, how do you account for looking so fit?”

“Well,” the old-timer told him, “when we got married, my wife and I made an agreement that any time we saw an argument coming on, I would grab my hat and walk three times around the block. You’d be surprised what 50 years of outdoor exercise will do for your health!”

~~~

Meditation is not what you Think.

~~~

Bill has the typical observant wife. One evening after dinner, she handed him a bottle of ‘Rogaine’ hair restorer. Bill told her while he was indeed starting to thin out some, he didn’t really think he needed hair restorer yet.

She said, “Oh. It’s not for you, it’s for your secretary, she seems to be losing quite a bit of her hair on your jacket.”

~~~

One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.

~~~

During a recent publicity outing, Jennifer sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller’s gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: “Will I be acquitted?”

~~~

“The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.”

Frederick Buechner

~~~

A worried Mrs. Melnik sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.

“How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?”

“Oh, mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven’t had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I’m supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight.”

The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. “Oh, darling,” she said, “sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I’ll be over in half an hour. I’ll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I’ll feed the baby and I’ll call a repairman I know who’ll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I’ll do everything. In fact, I’ll even call Morty at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once.”

“Morty?” said the housewife. “Who’s Morty?”

“Why, Morty! Your husband! ….Is this 555-1374?

“No, this is 555-1375.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I have the wrong number.”

There was a short pause and the housewife said, “Does this mean you’re not coming over?”

~~~

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Meade

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Sing Anyway

Some days there won’t be a song in your heart.  Sing anyway.

Emory Austin

 

I am moving a little too slow at the moment and have an early breakfast meeting so I am again retrieving from the vault.

Ray’s Daily first published on July 20, 2004

 

Well my social calendar is full today and tomorrow, what with blood draws, Hematologist and Cardiologist appointments, pacemaker checks and EKG’s I will be pretty busy. It is nice to be so wanted. Maybe a friendship club would be cheaper though.

~~~

“The longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is to play on the one string we have and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”

Charles Swindoll

~~~

Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself.

John Macnaughton

~~~

It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline in the Northwest.

“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.

“What are my choices?” he asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.

~~~

Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

~~~

Grandma Goldberg, a woman of 85, was slowly ambling down the street when she met her physician Dr. Cohen. Dr. Cohen, a dapper graying man in his early 60’s asked the elderly lady, “Mrs. Goldberg how are you feeling?”

For a long moment the woman gave the good doctor a terrible stare and then she said — “You ask me how I’m feeling! I’ll tell you how I’m feeling!! My legs hurt, my chest is sore, my heart is beating too fast and I can’t sleep!!! I have horrible headaches and stomach pains too!”

The good doctor looked at the elderly lady with compassion, “If you’re feeling so awful, why didn’t you come and see me right away?”

Grandma Goldberg let out a sigh and said, “I was just waiting until I felt a little better.”

~~~

“A man sent a postcard from Las Vegas to a friend: Having a wonderful time. Wish I could afford it.”

Myron Cohen

~~~

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin …As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.  As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee.  “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?  Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrr, Gerrrr, Kiiiing.”

~~~

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.

Amos Bronson Alcott

~~~

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to seek a grant designating Southern slang, or Y’allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary.

1) HEIDI – (noun) – Greeting.

2) HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: “Heidi, Hire yew?”

3) BARD – (verb) – Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow”. Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

4) JAWJUH – (noun) – The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner.”

5) BAMMER – (noun) – The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage: “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000 in improvements.”

6) MUNTS – (noun) – A calendar division. Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”

7) THANK – (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

8) BARE – (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a nutter bare.”

9) IGNERT – (adjective) – Not smart. See “Arkansas native.” Usage:” Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!”

10) RANCH – (noun) – A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts. Usage: “I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”

~~~

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

~~~

A guy meets a childhood pal: “What are you doing for yourself these days?”

I’m a fireman.

Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.

Well, if you want some good advice, you’ve got to install in your house a pole that will go to the basement so your kid can practice, ’cause the hardest thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the middle of the night.

Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again:

Well, did your son become a fireman?

No, but I have two daughters who are “pole dancers.”

~~~

Q: Did you hear about the new auto insurance policy for Jewish mothers?

A: It is known as the “My Fault” policy.

~~~

IT’S TIME TO DIET AND EXERCISE WHEN…

…you try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.

…your children look through your wedding album and want to know who Daddy’s first wife was.

…you get winded just saying the words “six-kilometer run.”

…you analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humor.

…you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but not while you’re wearing a bathing suit.

~~~

Law of Institutional Food: Everything is cold except what should be.

~~~

An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.

“For instance,” he said, “some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles.”

“What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?” asked a sarcastic member of the group.

“I’m not absolutely sure,” answered the expert, “but I bet it sounds something like. “Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!'”

~~~

Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.

Marcus Antonius

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Listen to Andy

A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study.

Chinese Proverb

The other day an old friend sent me a copy of things Andy Rooney said he had learned over his many years of life. While I believe I shared this list with you years ago I think this is a good time to do it again. It is a long list but well worth our time. Following his advice can put us on the road to peace and happiness versus anger and distress. Value you what you have for it is so much more than what most possess.

 

What I have Learned

I’ve learned…..That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned…. That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned….That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve learned…. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve learned…. That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned…. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned…. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I’ve learned…. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I’ve learned…. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I’ve learned…. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned…. That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I’ve learned…. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

I’ve learned…. That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned…. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I’ve learned… That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve learned…. That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I’ve learned…. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned…. That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned…. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people who are smarter than I am.

I’ve learned…. That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I’ve learned…. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned…. That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

I’ve learned…. That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I’ve learned…. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned…. That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I’ve learned…. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve learned…. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I’ve learned…. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned…. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned …. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

~~~

I am learning all the time.  The tombstone will be my diploma.

Eartha Kitt

~~~

For a student whose name is Kathleen,

With a mind that’s not overly keen,

Graduation is sure,

As she’s hardly demure

And has often been seen with the Dean.

~~~

I am said to say that your garbage disposal eats better than 70% of the world’s people.

~~~

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?”

“Yes,” the golfer responded.

“Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?”

“Yes, I did. How did you know?” he asked.

“Well,” said the policeman very seriously, “Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver’s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?”

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded…

“I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.”

~~~

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.

Abigail Van Buren

~~~

“This next one,” the disc jockey said, “is for Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven.  Hey, Charlotte, congratulations on a ripe old age!”

There was a short pause and then the DJ said in a somewhat more subdued voice, “I’m sorry, I got it wrong. This next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is ill.”

~~~

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”

Alexander Pope

~~~

He said: As a senior at St. Cloud State University in Minnesota, I often engage women psychology majors in heated discussions about male-female relationships. Once, my friend Shelly and I got into a hot debate about whether men or women make the larger sacrifice of their respective gender characteristics when they get married.  To my surprise, Shelly agreed with me that men give up far more than women.

“You’re right, Steve,” she said.  “Men generally give up doing their cleaning, their cooking, their grocery shopping, their laundry.”

~~~

“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”

Theodore Isaac Rubin

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Where have all the good men gone?

The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it.

Seneca

As I have searched for the good life I have learned that a Timex watch keeps about as good time as a Rolex, likewise a Ford Focus can take you anywhere a Ferrari can. Yes, with a reasonable amount of luck, a modest income and a manageable economy life can be pretty good. Sometimes however external factors can create roadblocks. I am concerned that what is going on in Washington might become one of the biggest yet.

I have been expressing my concern about our ever growing deficit for years, but I did not expect the problem to catch up with us so quickly. What shocks me is how little my fellow citizens seem to know about the risks we are facing. Just one catastrophic example would be the significant rise in interest rates if we fail to raise the debt ceiling in the mistaken belief that it would result in reduced spending, when in reality the increased interest cost on the National Debt would be staggering.

Surveys say the public wants to solve the debt problem by drastic spending cuts and yet they fight against any cuts in social programs like Medicare or Social Security. We want roads that are now falling apart repaired, we want world class education and so much more and yet we don’t want to pay for it. Sadly that is what got us in trouble in the first place. We say that we support no revenue increases, in fact we want to pay even less for what we get. As an example I don’t understand our unwillingness to eliminate tax breaks that would result in loophole beneficiaries paying the same taxes as others.

Now is the time to take a big bite out of the problem yet my Republican Party House Members, say no way, they seem to feel that if we crash and burn things will be better. What we need to do is cut as much as we can, save as much as we can and pay for what we get. There is no way we can get to where we need to be with token cost cutting and a free lunch tax system.

Why do I care? While I can drive a modest car, limit spending on luxuries, avoid expensive food choices and be fine, I cannot do even modestly well if my retirement funds shrink because of government fiscal irresponsibility. The sad part is that so many politicians are depending on our lack of understanding of the issues. Too many of us believe that everything will be OK if they just cut everyone else, in truth there is not that much to cut. We are like the guy who fell off the top of the empire state building saying as he passed the 50th floor, I don’t see the problem I am OK so far.

I apologize for putting this uncharacteristic rant in the Daily but I just want to shout one more time to the members in Washington, “Stop posturing and pandering to the polarized party base, hopefully you are smart enough to know we need significant action with everything, costs, revenue, and social program modification on the table if we are going to stay afloat. Quit using job protection as your excuse for inaction, be a statesman for that is what our country needs now!”

~~~

“A politician thinks of the next election. A statesman, of the next generation.”

James Freeman Clarke

~~~

Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home.  When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: “Insurance agent.  Ask about our term-life package.”

~~~

One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it’s such a nice change from being young.

Dorothy Canfield Fisher

~~~

He said: My six-year-old grandson called his mother from his friend Charlie’s house and confessed he had broken a lamp when he threw a football in their living room. “But, Mom,” he said, brightening, “you don’t have to worry about buying another one. Charlie’s mother said it was irreplaceable.”

~~~

When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I’m leaving.

Steven Wright

~~~

An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented “These are very good! You must have a good camera.”

He didn’t make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said “That was a really delicious meal! You must have some very good pots.”

~~~

“When I die, I want to die like my grandmother who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.”

Author Unknown

~~~

For months Bill had been Lynn’s devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. “There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,” Bill began, “but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being, a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one’s absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one’s joys and sorrows.”

To his delight, Bill saw a sympathetic gleam in Lynn’s eyes. Then she nodded in agreement. Finally, Lynn responded, “I think it’s a great idea! Can I help you choose which puppy to buy?”

~~~

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

~~~

A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors’ house each month. Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over.

A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, “We aren’t going to have mushrooms, because they are too expensive.”

He said, “Why don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed.”

She said, “No, I don’t want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison.”

He then said, “I don’t think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them.”

After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol’ Spot’s (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty. Ol’ Spot didn’t slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long, Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class. After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit. About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Susie’s ear. She said, “Mrs. Brown, Spot just died.”

With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, “It’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We will pump out everyone’s stomach and everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm.” It wasn’t long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.

When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases and a stomach pump and the doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master bedroom and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, “I think everything will be fine now, and he left.”

They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, “You know, that fellow that ran over Ol’ Spot never even stopped.”

~~~

A disposition to preserve, and an ability to improve, taken together, would be my standard of a statesman.

Edmund Burke

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Today is your day

Treat yourself, you’re worth it!

Iram Javed

 

I have an idea, lets you and I have a great day today. Let’s close down our complaint department, either delegate any worry to someone else to fret about or write whatever it is down on a piece of paper and put the paper on the things to do pile for next week. I have decided that we need to reward ourselves, in fact I think I will give myself the pleasure of calling a friend or two and tell them that I am having a great day and since they are so special I want them to have one too. This is the day you can give yourself permission to do something frivolous, have dinner someplace special − hopefully with someone special, catch a movie, see a play, do something silly, you get the idea. After all it is your special day. If it is too late in the day to start today you can do it on Monday, just do it, don’t put it off to someday for someday never seems to arrive.

Here are some other ideas on ways to reward yourself from an article by Stephanie Osfield. Whatever it is you do remember it is your gift to yourself for being able to get through the bad days. Have fun, I know I will.

For $5 or less, why not…

 

Sip on a cup of tea in a cozy café. I’ll be getting a Grande Latte at my favorite Starbucks.

Finish the day with a long, soak in the tub with a glossy magazine.

Enjoy a leisurely morning — take the phone off the hook and spend the morning in your pajamas reading the newspaper, a book or poring over a few magazines.

Savor a celebratory glass of wine with dinner.

For $10 or less, why not…

Pick up that new book you’ve had your eye on.

Download the latest album from your favorite band.

Buy a relaxation tape and use it daily.

Share dessert with your partner at a café.

For $20 to $45, why not…

Phone your distant friends. Choose a time when the phone company has low rates and you can spend hours catching up.

Get yourself a haircut or blowout, or a 30-minute massage.

 

I have my own list and I am sure you do too. One caveat though, if you do go skinny dipping don’t get caught!

~~~

Getting rewarded for work done well is one of the most positive experiences one can possibly get. Mostly, nobody bothers with it, so you have to do it yourself. Reward yourself and become a happier person.

Lucas Die

~~~

“The Homeowner’s Guide To Tools”

Hammer – In ancient times a hammer was usedto inflict pain on one’s enemies.  Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

Screwdriver – The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.

Phillips Screwdriver – The bar drink that you order when the damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.

Pliers – A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

Multi-Pliers – Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowner’s belt to increase testosterone levels.

Electronic Stud Finder – An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.

Halogen Light – A work light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you’re working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

Cordless Drill – A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.

Cordless Telephone – The handyman’s 911.

Chain saw – Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips – A pair of helping hands that doesn’t critique the job you’re doing or offer advice.

~~~

Live before you die.

~~~

Sadie stopped by an usher at the entrance to the synagogue.

The usher asked, “Are you a friend of the bride?”

Sadie quickly relied, “No, of course not. I am the groom’s mother.”

~~~

Make up a language and ask people for directions.

~~~

Soon after their last child left home for college, Linda’s husband was resting next to her on the couch with his head in her lap.

She carefully removed his glasses. “You know, honey,” she said sweetly, “Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married.”

“Honey,” he replied with a grin, “Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!”

~~~

Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham.

~~~

The class assignment was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Jimmy got up to read his, “Papa fell in the well last week…” he began.

“Good heavens,” shrieked Ms. Roseapple, “Is he all right now?”

“He must be,” replied Jimmy, “He stopped yelling for help yesterday.”

~~~

“The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.”

Robert Frost

~~~

An old wild west fort is about to be attacked. The wily old General sends for his trusty Indian Scout. “Yumti-Bi,” he said, “you must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here.”

Yumti-Bi laid down and put his ear to the ground… “Heap large — war party,” he says, “maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. All have war paint…many many guns. Medicine man also with them.”

“Good grief!” exclaims the General, “you can tell all of that just by listening to the ground???”

“No, General,” replied the Indian, “I can see under the gate.”

~~~

“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.”

Edwin Elliot

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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