Ray's musings and humor

Archive for June, 2014

We owe them a lot

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”

Rabindranath Tagore

 smallglobe

My Kiwanis club inducted next year’s officers for a local high school Key Club that we sponsor. Key Clubs exist in both the US and many other countries making great contributions to their local communities while providing outstanding young people the hands on opportunities to develop their leadership skills through service to others.

This particular club has a long history of making a real difference in the lives of their fellow students, their school and our community. Many have gone on to become significant leaders in business and public service organizations through their continued contributions to the welfare of our community and our fellow citizens.

My club now sponsors Key Clubs in three different high schools. I think we are truly blessed to have this opportunity to partner with some really terrific young folks. The projects that we do together and the times we get to visit with one or more of their members is a great motivator for us as the young bring enthusiasm and a can-do attitude that many of us let slip away as we grow older.

I was asked to provide the invocation at the meeting and I was pleased to be able to share a favorite story that I think is consistent with the Key Clubs dedication to making things better for us all. Here is what I said:

 

When I joined Kiwanis years ago our motto was “WE BUILD” and as the years have gone by the world is a better place because of Kiwanis family builders all over the globe. What I would like to share with you today is a story written by an unknown author that has real meaning for me.

 

I watched them tearing a building down,

A gang of men in a busy town.

With a ho-heave-ho and lusty yell,

They swung a beam and a sidewall fell.

I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled,

As the men you’d hire if you had to build?”

He gave me a laugh and said, “No indeed!

Just common labor is all I need.

I can easily wreck in a day or two

What builders have taken a year to do.”

And I thought to myself as I went my way,

Which of these two roles have I tried to play?

Am I a builder who works with care,

Measuring life by the rule and square?

Am I shaping my deeds by a well-made plan,

Patiently doing the best I can?

Or am I a wrecker, who walks the town,

Content with the labor of tearing down?

~~~

“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by “I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

A Jewish friend told me that you knew you grew up Jewish when:

You spent your entire childhood thinking that everyone calls roast beef “brisket”.

Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents.

You’ve experienced the phenomena of 50 people fitting into a 10 footwide dining room hitting each other with plastic plates trying to get to a deli tray.

You watched Lawrence Welk and Ed Sullivan every Sunday night.

You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.

You never knew anyone who’s last name didn’t end in one of 5 standard suffixes.

You were surprised to find out that wine doesn’t always taste like year-old cranberry sauce.

You grew up thinking it’s normal for someone to shout “Are you okay? Are you okay?” through the bathroom door if you’re in there for longer than 3 minutes.

Your grandparent’s furniture smelled like mothballs and was as comfortable as sitting on sandpaper.

Your mother smacked you and then made you feel guilty for hurting her hand.

~~~

She’s been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

Henny Youngman

~~~

A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ and ‘illegal’?”

Only one hand shot up. “Ok, answer, Joan,” said the teacher.

“‘Unlawful’ is when u do something the law doesn’t allow and ‘Illegal’ is a sick eagle.”

~~~

When your ship comes in….  make sure you are willing to unload it.

~~~

“If you’ll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart,” said the newlywed bride, “breakfast will be ready.”

“Good, what are we having for breakfast,” said the new husband.

“Toast and juice,” she replied.

~~~

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

~~~

Amanpreet heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays. So, on his 21st birthday, Amanpreet and his friend Brian headed out to the lake. “If they did it, I can too!” he insisted.

When Amanpreet and Brian arrived at the lake, they rented a boat and began paddling. When the got to the middle of the lake, Amanpreet stepped off of the side of the boat… and nearly drowned. Furious and somewhat shamed, he and Brian headed for home. When Amanpreet arrived back at the family farm, he asked his grandmother for an explanation. “Grandma, why can I not walk on water like my father, and his father, and his father before him?”

The feeble old grandmother took Amanpreet by the hands, looked into his eyes, and explained, “That’s because your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were born in January… you were born in July, dear.”

 

~~~

“Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity and fear of others. Never decide to do nothing just because you can only do little. Do what you can. You would be surprised at what “little” acts have done for our world.”

Steve Maraboli

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We miss too many good people

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”

Tennessee Williams

 appreciation

These next four days are going to be great. My doctor has prescribed four days of rest to help me recuperate. Laziness without guilt, wonderful, after all I am only following Doctor’s orders. Sometimes age has its benefits.

One of the true benefits of aging is the number of lessons learned in a life time. If done well aging provides us the opportunity to become what we should have been in our youth. One of the best lessons I have learned has been to avoid making quick judgments. I have been amazed at how many people that I thought little of at first turned out to be really special. The fault was never with them, it was my not seeing them as they really were. As life has gone on I have found the value of not quickly walking by folks rather than stopping and visiting with a potential new friend. Here is a story that I like that has wisdom for us all.

 

Clay Balls

Author Unknown

A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn’t look like much, but they intrigued the man so he took the bag out of the cave with him.

As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could. He thought little about it until he dropped one of the balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone. Excited the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure.

He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he just threw it away.

It’s like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn’t look like much from the outside. It isn’t always beautiful or sparkling so we discount it. We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person by God.

There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.

May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay.

~~~

I love making new friends and I respect people for a lot of different reasons.

Taylor Swift

~~~

Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”

Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again!”

Officer: “Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “No, SIR!”

~~~

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

~~~

A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, “Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?”

“The glaciers brought them down,” said the guide.

“But where are the glaciers?”

“The glaciers,” said the guide in a weary voice, “have gone back for more rocks.”

~~~

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

~~~

A man lost a valuable dog. He advertised in a small local newspaper; offering a very generous $5000 reward for it, but got no replies.

He stopped by the newspaper office to check on results of his ad. “I’d like to see Shapiro the advertising manager.” he said.

“He’s out,” said Moishe, the office boy.

“Well, how about his assistant?”

“He’s out too, sir.”

“Goodness! Is everybody out – where are they?”

“They’re all searching for your dog!”

~~~

All generalizations are false.

~~~

Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked

it up.  She said, “No,” and slammed it down.

“Who was that?”

“Some boy for Carolyn,” she said, referring to our daughter.

Then it rang again.  Nancy listened, said, “Kit Kat,” and hung up.

“What now?”  I asked.

“A boy plans to ask Carolyn to the prom and wanted to know what her favorite candy is.  He’s going to put the invitation into a candy basket.”

The next morning a basket of candy was on our porch.  “But, Mom,” our daughter protested when she heard the story, “Kit Kat isn’t my favorite.”

“I know,” Nancy said.  “It’s mine.”

~~~

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”

Groucho Marx

~~~

The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. ‘We live in a great country,’ she announced. ‘One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.’

Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, ‘I’m not free. I’m four.’

~~~

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.

Charles R. Swindoll

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Take advantage of what today has to offer

Love and Hope is all you need. If you believe, you will always succeed.

Kwabena Sefa

 Principles

Here we are the middle of the week and I really have not accomplished much other than some limited exercise and passing up some learning opportunities. In fact today I am going to have to skip two events that I was looking forward to attending since time with a doctor makes being there impossible. It is frustrating but life goes on and I know better days are ahead. As always I find it is better to live in the moment, make the best of everyday and look forward to the good things in store tomorrow.

 

A few years ago Tony Peeris from India compiled a list of life principles that I think you might find interesting, here they are:

24 Thoughts to Remember As You Go Through Life

•Winning isn’t everything but wanting to win is.

•You would achieve more, if you don’t mind who gets the credit.

•When everything else is lost, the future still remains.

•Don’t fight too much or the enemy will know your art of war.

•The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.

•If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.

•If you do little things well, you’ll do big ones better.

•Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.

•You won’t get a second chance to make a first impression.

•Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.

•Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.

•If you are not failing, you’re not taking enough risks.

•Don’t try to get rid of your bad temper by losing it.

•If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

•Those who don’t make mistakes usually don’t make anything.

•There are two kinds of failures: Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.

•Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

•All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.

•Change your thoughts and you change your world.

•Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.

•There are two kinds of fools in this world.: Those who give advice and those who don’t take it.

•The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.

•Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.

•Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.

~~~

Do not educate your child to be rich. Educate him to be happy. So when he grows up, he’ll know the value of things, not the price.

Keren Zhims

~~~

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother and found a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”

Mom smiled sweetly and then replied, “I remember.”

~~~

“I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food…”

Robert Orben

~~~

Sally purchased an answering machine with a prerecorded message that used a male voice. She chose not to record a new message. The next Saturday she was “screening” her calls. The phone rang and the machine answered… After the message, there was a pause and the caller hung up. The phone rang a second time — the same result.

Then the phone rang a third time, and the person said: “This is your mother, I think. If I am, please call me.”

~~~

If moths are attracted to bright lights, how come they sleep during the day?

~~~

ABOUT GROWING OLDER…………

1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of  Algebra.

5. You know you are getting old when every thing either dries up or leaks.

6. I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

7. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

8. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

9. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

10. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

11. If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at.

~~~

What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?

No matter what, somebody’s fixin’ to lose a trailer.

~~~

After our old friend Phil had been a “temporary bachelor” for a few weeks, we stopped by his home to visit him. My wife asked if he was eating properly. “Well, I do eat a lot of dog food,” Tom told her.

“Dog food!” my wife exclaimed, horrified. “I can’t believe you would be eating anything like that!”

“Neither do I!” I responded.  “You’re not that easy to please when it comes to food!”

“Well, come to the kitchen and I’ll show you,” Tom replied. Opening the refrigerator door, he waved his hand at a row of doggie bags from some of the finest restaurants in town.

~~~

I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death.

Leonardo da Vinci

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Avoid Regrets

“As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do.”

Zachary Scott

 No regrets

Yesterday was better since I was able to at least get some cardio exercise done. My body quit on me before I finished but progress is progress. Today it will be better.

Yesterday I wrote about overthinking which often takes us down a path we would be better off avoiding. The concept reminded me of something Angel Chernoff wrote about avoiding those traps that keep us bogged down. It is a fairly long piece that she wrote some time ago. Because of its length I am just going to share her tips for not getting diverted and bogged down when there are things to do.

 5 Regrets You Don’t Want to Have at the End the Day

Over the course of our blog’s eight-year lifespan, Marc and I have received several thousand emails from readers who either have regrets or are fearful that they are leading a life that will ultimately lead to regret.  As we’ve read and responded to each of these emails over the years, it became clear to us that most people struggle with the exact same regrets.  In this email, I want to share five of these regrets with you – the ones that seem, by a long shot, to be the most popular among our readers – and examine some ideas on how to avoid their grief.

Waiting until tomorrow, again. – The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do.  But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do.  And at that point you either will have achieved the goals you set for yourself, or you will have a list of excuses for why you haven’t.  Don’t do this to yourself.  If it’s important to you, START TODAY.

Taking no risks, and making no progress. – Living is risky business.  Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you get out of bed in the morning, you take a small risk.  To truly live is to know you’re getting up and taking that risk, and to trust yourself to take it.  To not get out of bed, clutching to illusions of safety, is to die slowly without ever having truly lived.  It’s better to have a life full of small failures that you learned from, rather than a lifetime filled with the regrets of never trying.

Resisting reality instead of owning it and working on it. – You’re choosing, all day, every day.  If you’re struggling at a job you don’t love, look at it this way: you’re choosing to make a living to pay your mortgage, support your family, and fuel your dreams.  Don’t resist it; own it – that’s where your power is.  If you’re in a relationship that’s causing you pain, you’re choosing to be in it.  Maybe staying will lead to essential growth or a breakthrough or a deeper understanding of love.  Or not.  But you’re choosing to be in or out, right now.  Whichever you choose, own it – that’s where your power is.

Holding on to the same old grudge. – Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, on the other hand, is for those who are confident enough to stand on their own two legs and move on.  In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way.  It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions.

Wasting too much time wanting everyone to like you. – Don’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal.  Rarely do people do things because of you; they do things because of them.  You honestly can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you.  All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.

~~~

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

She said:

If you don’t like my standards of cooking…lower your standards.

You may touch the dust in this house…but please don’t write in it!

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and my kitchen is delirious.

If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

~~~

“With girls I don’t get no respect. I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by. I said ‘Are you Louise?’ She said, ‘Are you Rodney?’ I said, ‘Yeah.’ She said, ‘I’m not Louise.'”

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer Camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked, “Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?”

The kid answered, “Did you ever have a mother?”

~~~

“I was out on a date recently and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.”

 Susie Loucks

~~~

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick:

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. “Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!”

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally, the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”

With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

“But how?” the lawyer asked. “You must have had some doubt, I saw all of you stare at the door.”

“Oh, yes,” the jury foreman replied: “We all looked — but your client didn’t!”

~~~

The majority of HMO plans I’ve seen can be likened to hospital gowns; you only think you’re covered.

~~~

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.

“This is the Klopman diamond,” she said. “It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it.”

“What’s the curse?” the man asked.

“Mr. Klopman.” answered the woman.

~~~

Middle age is when you have two temptations – and choose the one that will get you home earlier.

~~~

“New Rules To Clean Up NYC”

Fake Rolex salesmen must offer fake warranty information.

Only 7 Starbucks per block are allowed.

Change meaning of middle finger gesture to: “lookin’ good, neighbor.”

Women’s Rights Groups have won a court action to rename the famous street “Broadway” to “His and Her Way.”

~~~

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, “It might have been.”

Kurt Vonnegut

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Don’t let your imagination ruin your day

“The more you overthink the less you will understand.”

Habeeb Akande

don't overthink

I really haven’t done much the last four or five days. Some of my lingering maladies ganged up on me and kept me spending most of my time taking it easy. I even missed a couple of days at the gym because of having some difficulty doing my routines. I am going to try again in an hour or so and hopefully it will help me get back to normal.

In the meantime I ran across an article that I strongly agree with. It is too long to share with you in total but I hope what follows will be clear enough for you to recognize its value. It is from the Positivity Blog and you can see the complete article at http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2013/11/20/how-to-stop-overthinking/ .

 

How to Stop Overthinking Everything: 9 Simple Habits

Henrik Edberg

What is holding people back from the life that they truly want to live? I’d say that one very common and destructive thing is that they think too much. They overthink every little problem until it becomes bigger and scarier and it actually is. Overthink positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore. Or overanalyze and deconstruct things and so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

In this article I would like to share 9 habits that have helped me in a big, big way to become a simpler and smarter thinker and to live a happier and less fearful life.

1. Put things into a wider perspective. It is very easy to fall into the trap of overthinking minor things in life. So when you are thinking and thinking about something ask yourself: Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks?

2. Set short time-limits for decisions. If you do not have a time-limit for when you must make a decision and take action then you can just keep turning your thoughts around and around and view them from all angles in your mind for a very long time. So learn to become better at making decisions and to spring into action by setting deadlines in your daily life. No matter if it is a small or bigger decision.

3. Become a person of action. When you know how to get started with taking action consistently each day then you’ll procrastinate less by overthinking. Setting deadlines is one thing that have helped me to become much more of person of action. Taking small steps forward and only focusing on getting one small step done at a time is another habit that have worked really well.

4. Realize that you cannot control everything. Trying to think things through 50 times can be a way to try to control everything. To cover every eventuality so you do not risk making a mistake, fail or looking like a fool. But those things are a part of living a life where you truly stretch your comfort zone. Everyone who you may admire and have lived a life that inspires you has failed. They have made mistakes.

5. Say stop in situation where you know you cannot think straight. So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

6. Do not get lost in vague fears. Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life. And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could happen if I do something. So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

7. Work out. This might sound a bit odd. But in my experience working out – especially with lifting weights – can help me to let go of inner tensions and worries.

8. Spend more of your time in the present moment. By being in the present moment in your everyday life rather than in the past or a possible future in your mind you can replace more and more of the time you usually spend on overthinking things with just being here right now instead.

9. Spend more of your time with people who do not overthink things. Find ways to spend more of your time and attention with the people and sources that have a positive effect on your thinking and less on the influences that tends to strengthen your overthinking habit.

~~~

“The world is full of people who will help you manufacture tornados in order to blow out a match.”

Shaun Hick

~~~

Dear John,

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won’t you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you. All my love,

Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx

P.S. Congratulations on winning this week’s lottery.

~~~

I don’t do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

~~~

Jamie asked his dad to explain the difference between irritation, aggravation, and frustration.

His father picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. When the phone was answered, he asked, “Can I speak to Rolf, please?”

“No! There’s no one named Rolf here,” replies the person who answered the phone.

The father hung up. “That, my boy, is irritation.”

He picked up the phone again, dialed the same number, then asked for Rolf a second time. “No, there’s no one here called Rolf. Go away. If you call again I’m calling the cops,” the person said.

The father hung up and said, “That’s aggravation.”

“Then what’s frustration?” asked Jamie. The father picked up the phone and dialed the same number a third time.

“Hello, this is Rolf. Have I received any phone calls?”

~~~

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

~~~

Cassie walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register she saw a display of caps with WWJD printed on all of them.  She was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn’t figure it out, so she asked the clerk.

The clerk replied that the letters stood for What Would Jesus Do, and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation.

Cassie thought a moment and then replied, “Well, I don’t think Jesus would pay $17.95 for one of these caps.”

~~~

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

Erin Majors

~~~

Donald Ogden Stewart, the writer, had a son away at prep school.  When the boy reached the age of fourteen, Stewart wrote him the following letter:

“Dear son, now that you have reached the magic age of fourteen, the time has come to tell you about the bees and flowers.  There is a male and a female bee, although I haven’t the slightest idea which is which. As for the flowers – we get ours from the Plaza Florist, Inc.

Well, that takes care of that. Write soon,

Affectionately,

Father

~~~

Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel, stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel, and sometimes we just have to go with “whatever happens, happens.”

Anonymous

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Don’t miss seeing what you already have while you chase what you don’t need

“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”

Ashley Smith

 Beauty is all around

I am moving a little slow right now so I am going to make this a long weekend and am sending you another classic Daily from out of the past. Have a great weekend and I’ll be back Monday.

Ray

 

Ray’s Daily first published on June 6, 2007

I told you yesterday about the effort being made to buy out all the homeowners in my condominium complex. I was sharing the same information with a friend later in the day and his response was “Of course you are going to take it even if it is only twice what your house is worth, aren’t you?” He was shocked when I said we had no interest in doing so. He said, “But think of all the money, you could buy a luxury car, bank hundreds of thousands of dollars,” and so on.

He did not appreciate the fact that the quality of our lives does not depend on what we have but rather on what we have means to us. My current car gets me where I want to go and does it very well, a luxury car would only be an unneeded luxury that at best would only impress others. While we don’t have an excess of money we have enough to maintain a more than satisfactory life style. That lifestyle is as good as it is due in no small part to where we live. Our complex is about 30 acres on two beautiful lakes. We have wonderful amenities, no public access, it is quiet and country like. Our neighborhood is warm and tranquil, with flora and fauna that is seldom found in a city as dynamic as Indianapolis. And you know what? Our cities finest shopping centers are but minutes away, as are movie and art theatres, fabulous restaurants, book stores, coffee shops, and just but anything anyone would ever want.

Having more money in the bank is a huge price to pay when I think about all we would have given up for the years ahead. Satisfaction comes from what you have around you, the people you care about, and your ability to place value on the really important things. We may end up having to move if all or neighbors decide to sell, if we do the developers are going to have to pay a lot of money, for we will have sold not just our home, we will have sold our way of life.

You already know but just as reminder. Don’t look and envy what you don’t have, rather take inventory and place value in what you do have. It is true what they say, money won’t buy happiness.

~~~

You can never get enough of what you don’t need to make you happy.

Eric Hoffer

~~~

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.”

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I had locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook. “Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.

Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

“And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”

~~~

I told my girlfriend last night how much I loved her, and she said that I must have been out drinking again. I asked her why she would say that, and she said, ‘Because I’m your father.’

Dave George

~~~

When Life begins

* Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else is starting to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

* There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two.

* You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

* Middle age is when work is a lot less fun — and fun is a lot more work.

* Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Now isn’t that a great time for a guy to get those kind of odds?

* You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

* Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

* By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.

* Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

* A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

* You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

* You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.

* You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before!

* The cardiologist’s diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

* It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

* When you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.

* You find yourself in the middle of the stairway, and you can’t remember if you were downstairs going up or upstairs going down.

~~~

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

George Burns

~~~

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility.

One evening, exasperated, she asked them, “How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn’t looked after it?”

After a moment, her 5-year-old son replied quizzically, “Er…. Once?”

~~~

Famous Last Words: “Unfortunately I cannot totally agree with comrade Stalin.”

~~~

The salesman reported back to his boss after several weeks on the road and said, “All I got was two orders.”

“What were they? Anything good?”

“Nope,” the salesman replied. “They were ‘Get out!’ and Stay out!”

~~~

I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.

John Stuart Mill

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Are you ready for the unexpected?

“Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day”

Ann Landers

 ExpecttheUnexpected

If you are like I am your life is full of surprises, some good and some bad. In my case I have had many that I would have preferred to miss especially severe unexpected illnesses. Fortunately I have had enough of them to understand they are just part of the human existence and when they happen the world does not end, life goes on and often it is better than before.

It was also like that through my various careers. In fact most of my focus over the years was on evaluating unexpected events and then developing appropriate solutions. As time wore on the process of dealing with the unexpected was fine tuned to the point the learned skill made problems something you dealt with, didn’t worry about and moved on.

An article from the Change Blog written by Deborah Fike started my reflection on my problem handling history. Here is what she wrote:

 

Planning for the Unexpected

Of course, life doesn’t always follow a script, which is why it’s important to plan for the unexpected. That sounds impossible. How can you plan for something which you cannot anticipate? The truth is, you can’t plan the details, but you put yourself into a certain mindset that will help you succeed.

So how can you plan for the unexpected? A few things I’ve found useful over the years:

1. Keep positive. Just because you believe something will happen doesn’t magically make it happen. On the flip side, if you tell yourself you can’t do something, there is zero percent chance it will happen. Keeping a positive attitude will help you weather unexpected hurdles and obstacles. If you are not naturally good at being positive in the face of adversity, find others who are. Their positive attitude and/or their belief in you will help push through the hard times.

2. Know your priorities. If you are truly determined to reach a goal, it should take precedence over others. New entrepreneurs struggle with financial stability over bringing their product to market. The key to jumping the hurdle is having faith in the product over a dwindling bank account. If you find other priorities getting in the way of your goal, you may need to reassess if the goal is really right for you.

3. Favor the long haul over the short-term. If you know what goal you’ll want to reach, you’ll find the means to get there, even if prospects aren’t good in the short term. If you aren’t determined to meet your goal, then in the face of uncertainty, you may waver and fail.

4. Keep up with current events. If you are forced to take a break from your goals, put aside some time to stay current so you can jump back in the game later. One of my friends got laid off from a sports marketing job he loved and had to work retail for several years. He kept his skills current through networking, reading, and job searching and finally landed a new position several years later. He’s now a director in the company he works for, due largely in part that he didn’t just “take a break” from his old career.

5. Take time to recover from a crisis. Sometimes tragic events happen. The death of a good friend or family member, for example, may justifiably warrant our time and energy. As much as possible, don’t feel bad about taking time off to recover from a personal crisis. Just like your physical health, your emotional health is worth carving out time for. Ignoring emotional turmoil could result in further disaster, compounding the problem and making it harder to reach your goals.

All plans, even the best ones, will change once paper meets reality. So don’t despair if everything isn’t going to plan. Instead, go with the flow, and find new solutions to unexpected problems by having the right mindset.

~~~

If you so choose, even the unexpected setbacks can bring new and positive possibilities. If you so choose, you can find value and fulfillment in every circumstance.

Ralph Marston

~~~

John and his wife Jill often take car trips from the U.S. to Canada.

One holiday season they were stopped at the border, where the guard asked John the value of any goods we would be taking back with us. John paused to think of the value of everything they had with them.

“Never mind,” the guard said, “what’s the most expensive thing in your car?”

Without hesitation, John replied, “My wife.”

~~~

The best auto safety device is a rearview mirror with a police car in it.

~~~

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. “Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother’s meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it’s just awful!  I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it’s the one you gave me. But it just didn’t come out right, and I’m so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf.  What could have gone wrong?”

Her mother replied soothingly, “Well, dear, let’s go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we’ll figure it out.”

“OK,” the bride sniffled. “Well, it starts out, ‘ Take fifty cents worth of ground beef ‘…”

~~~

Understanding human needs is half the job of meeting them.

ADLAI E. STEVENSON, JR.

~~~

To make it possible for everyone to attend church on Sunday, we are proposing to have a special ‘No Excuse Sunday.’

1. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say,’Sunday is my only day to sleep in.’

2. They will have steel helmets for those who say, ‘The roof will cave in if I ever came to church.’

3. Blankets will be furnished for those who say it is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot.

4. There will be hearing aids for those who say, ‘The pastor speaks too softly,’ and cotton for those who say, ‘He preaches too loudly.’

5 Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.

6. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.

7. There will be TV dinners for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner too.

8. Golf clubs will be available for practice swings for those who like to golf on Sunday.

So, now you’ll have no excuse for not attending church this coming Sunday.

~~~

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.”

Franklin P. Jones

~~~

A shaddchan (matchmaker) corners a yeshiva bochur (student) and says, “Do I have a girl for you!”.

“Not interested”, replies the bochur.

“But she’s beautiful!”, says the shaddchan

“Yeah?” says the bochur.

“Yes. And she’s very rich too.”

“Really?”

“And she has great yichus (ancestry)! From a very fine family.”

“Sounds great.” says the bochur. “But why would a girl like that want to marry me? She’d have to be crazy.”

Replies the shaddchan “Well, you can’t have everything!”

~~~

A boy took home a library book whose cover read “How To Hug” only to discover that it was volume seven of an encyclopedia.

~~~

Memorial Day weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism.

“We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.”

One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room.  He stood with his hands on

his hips and said. . . .

“I’m not free. I’m four.”

~~~

“Most people want to be circled by safety, not by the unexpected. The unexpected can take you out. But the unexpected can also take you over and change your life. Put a heart in your body where a stone used to be.”

Ron Hall

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We owe them more than we know

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.

Charles Dickens

 helping-hand

I have had the good fortune over the years to work with or be near some really terrific people. Folks who are sometimes well recognized for their achievement and many others who do not get the recognition they deserve. These are the people who give so much to so many of us. Often they have schedules and obligations that would stager most of us and yet they are always there when we need them. I have often heard in the past that if you want something done right and on time give it to the busy man for he has learned over the years the secret of real accomplishment.

I am as impressed with the guy or gal who volunteers to help patients at the local hospital as I am of those I know who have helped solve our greatest problems. They seldom complain and are always ready with a helping hand, they are my heroes.

Here is a story that reminds me of what so many of these good people have done for others, I hope you like it as much as I do.

 Burden Of My Own

A Monarch of long ago had twin sons. As they grew to young manhood, the king sought a fair way to designate one of them as crown prince. All who knew the young men thought them equal in intelligence, wit, personal charm, health, and physical strength. Being a keenly observant king, he thought he detected a trait in one which was not shared by the other.

Calling them to his council chamber one day, he said, “My sons, the day will come when one of you must succeed me as king. The weight of sovereignty is very heavy. To find out which of you is better able to bear them cheerfully, I am sending you together to a far corner of the kingdom.

One of my advisors there will place equal burdens on your shoulders. My crown will one day go to the one who first returns bearing his yoke like a king should.”

In a spirit of friendly competition, the brothers set out together. Soon they overtook an aged woman struggling under a burden that seemed far too heavy for her frail body. One of the boys suggested that they stop to help her. The other protested: “We have a saddle of our own to worry about. Let us be on our way.”

The objector hurried on while the other stayed behind to give aid to the aged woman. Along the road, from day to day, he found others who also needed help. A blind man took him miles out of his way, and a lame man slowed him to a cripple’s walk.

Eventually he did reach his father’s advisor, where he secured his own yoke and started home with it safely on his shoulders. When he arrived at the palace, his brother met him at the gate, and greeted him with dismay. He said, “I don’t understand. I told our father the weight was too heavy to carry. However did you do it?”

The future king replied thoughtfully, “I suppose when I helped others carry their yoke, I found the strength to carry my own.”

~~~

“What makes loneliness an anguish is not that I have no one to share my burden, but this: I have only my own burden to bear.”

Dag Hammarskjold

~~~

More from the friendly skies:

·       And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Delta airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”

·       Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump, and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault…it was the asphalt!”

·       Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”

~~~

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Marie Corelli-

~~~

Mistakes

If a barber makes a mistake, It’s a new style…

If a driver makes a mistake, It is an accident…

If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture…

If parents makes a mistake, It is a new generation…

If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law…

If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new invention…

If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion…

If a teacher makes a mistake , It is a new theory…

If our boss makes a mistake, It is our mistake……

If an employee makes a mistake, It is a “MISTAKE”

~~~

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

~~~

An old man was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter went up to him.  “Sir, what is the secret of your long life?”

The man considered this for a moment, then replied, “Every day at 9 PM I have a glass of port.  Good for the heart I’ve heard.”

The reporter replied, “That’s ALL?”

The man smiled, “That, and canceling my voyage on the Titanic.”

~~~

He is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

~~~

A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive, expensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!”

“Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?”

“Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.”

“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully.

The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”

~~~

She said that a baby is: Her husband, when he gets a cold.  Her youngest child, even if he’s 42.

~~~

A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When she asked little Johnny, he said, “My father’s dead, Miss.”

“Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before he died?”

“He went blue, held his chest and moaned aaaaarrrrrrggg, and collapsed.”

~~~

The burden which is well borne becomes light.

Ovid

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Take a complaint break

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do.

Benjamin Franklin

 don't complain

I think one of the greatest contributors to unhappiness is the concentration some folks have on finding fault. These are the people that are the constant complainers. They seem to thrive on their unhappiness with most things and try to infect everyone else with their negativism. One person even accused me of liking a flower garden so much was because I did not see the weeds, at the time I felt bad because the obviously could not see the flowers.

I recently read an article by Jon Gordon that I wish my unhappy complainer friends would read and follow. He recommends a no complaint’s period that might provide people time to find the happiness the miss by always finding fault.

Here are excerpts from the article that lays out his recommendations:

5 Things to Do Instead of Complain

This week I want to encourage you to go on a complaining fast. Not because it will make everyone around you happier, although it will, but because it will help you experience more joy, peace, success, positive relationships and better teamwork. Try it for just 21 days.

Believe me; I know a lot about complaining. I use to be a professional complainer and found that it not only sabotages your own happiness and success but the success of your team and family. I realized we complain for two main reasons. 1. We feel powerless. 2. It’s a habit. I decided to break the habit and when I stopped complaining I started to create the life that I wanted. Let’s face it, if you are complaining, you’re not leading.

To help you break out of a “complaining” rut here are five things you can do instead of complain. These tips will help you realize you are not powerless. You have the power to choose your beliefs and actions. And in your focus on the positive instead of the negative you’ll find the faith, strength and confidence to take on life’s challenges and identify the solutions to your complaints.

1. Practice Gratitude. Research shows that when we count three blessings a day, we get a measurable boost in happiness that uplifts and energizes us. It’s also physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. Two thoughts cannot occupy our mind at the same time. If you are focusing on gratitude, you can’t be negative.

2. Praise Others. Instead of complaining about what others are doing wrong, start focusing on what they are doing right. Praise them and watch as they create more success as a result.

3. Focus on Success. Start a success journal. Each night before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day. The one great conversation, accomplishment, or win that you are most proud of. Focus on your success, and you’ll look forward to creating more success tomorrow.

4. Let Go. Focus on the things that you have the power to change, and let go of the things that are beyond your control. You’ll be amazed that when you stop trying to control everything, it all somehow works out. Surrender is the answer.

5. Pray. Scientific research shows that daily prayer reduces stress; boosts positive energy; and promotes health, vitality, and longevity. When you are faced with the urge to complain or you are feeling stressed to the max, stop, be still, plug-in to the ultimate power, and recharge.

~~~

“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

“CAMPING TIPS”

*When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

*When smoking a fish, never inhale.

*The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges.

*Steer clear of parks named for landfills.

*While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

*Modern rain suits made of fabrics that “breathe” enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

*You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.

~~~

“The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.”

Orlando A. Battista

~~~

Joe Lipschitz who told a judge that he wanted to legally change his name.

His Honor’s response: “Golly, fellow, with a name like that, no wonder you want to change it. What do you want to change it to?”

Replies the man, “Sam Lipschitz.”

~~~

“Growing up, my mom always claimed to feel bad when a bird would slam head-first into our living room window. If she REALLY felt bad, though, she’d have moved the bird feeder outside.”

Rich Johnson

~~~

Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old buddy Johnny,  “How come you aren’t married?”

Johnny: “I haven’t found the right woman yet.”

George: “So what are you looking for?”

Johnny: “Oh she’s got to be real pretty, – a good cook and house- keeper, and she’s got to know how to handle money, a really nice  and pleasant personality is a must -and money, she’s got to have money…and a home, a nice big house, is what she has to have.”

George: “A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU.”

Johnny: “Oh, it’s okay if she is crazy.”

~~~

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

~~~

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message.  The man returned just before the conclusion of the service.  Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone.

“I went to get a haircut,” was the reply.

“But,” said the pastor, “why didn’t you do that before the service?”

“Because,” the gentleman said, “I didn’t need one then.”

~~~

It’s never crowded along the extra mile.

Wayne Dyer

~~~

A man was showing his friend a new set of matched golf clubs he had just bought. “Doctor’s orders,” the man told his friend. “My wife and I have been gaining too much weight and we went to see the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise, so I joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs.”

“What about your wife?” the friend asked.  “What did you buy her?”

“A new lawn mower,” the golfer said.

~~~

Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.

Og Mandino

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Looking at the bright side

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Dr. Wayne Dyer

 bright side

Here we go again, a new week and I am looking forward to it being a good one. I hope you are too.

One of the reasons that I am more optimistic than usual is that it appears my Cardiologist found the reason for the chest discomfort that I have experienced over the last few weeks. When I saw him on Friday they read out all the information from my Pacemaker and found that I have been going into periods of very rapid heartbeats as I understand it were coming from the lower chamber of my heart, so it was not the atrial fibrillation that I have experienced in the past but a new malady. The good news is that my Pacemaker has the capability of monitoring the chamber and a feature that allows the Pacemaker to trigger it back into normal rhythm.

So they brought in a super-tech to adjust the Pacemaker and turn on the feature. As she was doing it on the computer she saw my name and exclaimed “Wow I did not know it was you.” Now that took me surprise and I wondered if I had done something in the past that I shouldn’t of done and with my less than perfect memory I forgot. It turns out she has been a long time reader of Ray’s Daily, so I was relieved and also grateful to have the chance to see her.

I love the fact that I expect good things to happen and they usually do, there are thousands of readers of the Daily most I will never see but they are all special just like this gal. As you know I choose to live on the bright side leaving the dark side to the worriers and fretters. I have found that they are not a lot of fun and I would rather hang out with you guys.

Here is a piece I got from AcademicTips.org that outlines what can happen if you choose to believe in yourself and walk on the bright side with the rest of us.

 

Believe in Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be. That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down. But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them. Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

~~~

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Christopher Robin to Pooh

~~~

For his final project in a statistics class, a student decided to conduct a survey. So it wouldn’t be a boring project, he chose to find out peoples’ favorite pastimes. The teacher required that he sample at least 100 people, so he started out his project visiting a fairly large apartment building near the university.

He knocked on the first door and a man answered. “Sir, what is your name?” asked the student

“John”

“Sir, I’m doing a school study and would like to know what is your favorite pastime?”

“Watching bubbles in the bath,” Came the reply. He liked the esoteric answer and continued down the hall, until he came to the next door, when he asked again.

“Sir, what is your name?”

“Jeff!”,

“Sir, Would you please tell me your favorite pastime?”

“Watching bubbles in bath,” was the answer. Quite amused and confused he went on to ask a good number of people in the building and all of them had the same pastime “watching bubbles in bath”.

He left the building and walked across the street where there were several row houses to continue the survey. At the first house, he knocks and an attractive college girl opens the door. Our surveyor starts again – “What is your name?”

“Bubbles !”

~~~

I’d give you a piece of my mind, but I’m on the last one!

~~~

He said:  My daughter goes to great extremes in caring for her new sports car. One afternoon I went with her to get gas in it. She pulled up to the ‘full service’ pump at the station. When the attendant came out and asked what ‘grade’ of gas she wanted, she said, “Unleaded — super. The  best you have. And would you check the oil too, please.”

When the man found the car needed a quart of oil, he asked, “What kind do you use?”

“I just want the finest,” she said. “Whatever it costs. Oh, and  would you look at the radiator too. It might need water.”

And just what does your radiator take,” the attendant inquired dryly, “Perrier?”

~~~

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age.

Christopher Morley

~~~

An 80-year-old couple is having trouble remembering things, so they go to the doctor to make sure there’s nothing wrong. After an exam, the doctor says, “You’re physically okay, but you guys might want to start writing notes to help you remember things.”

That night they’re watching TV when the old man gets up from his chair. His wife says, “Where are you going?”

He says, “I’m going to the kitchen to get a glass of water.”

She says, “Will you get me some Vanilla ice cream?”

He says, “All right.”

She says, “Don’t you think you should write it down?”

He says, “I don’t have to write it down. Vanilla ice cream.”

She says, “And could I have strawberries and whipped cream?”

He says, “All right.”

She says, “Don’t you think you should write it down?”

He says, “I don’t have to write it down. Vanilla ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream.” Twenty minutes later he walks in and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She says, “You forgot my toast.”

~~~

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

Helen Keller

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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