Ray's musings and humor

Archive for July, 2019

Ray’s Daily Suspends Operation

NOTICE

My Computer is not working properly and I will not be able to send new daily’s for probably a week.

Stay well and have good days. I will be back when it  is repaired.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

And Life Goes On

Ray’s Daily

July 12, 2019

“Friendship is a strong and habitual inclination in two persons to promote the good and happiness of one another.”

Eustace Budgell

Friends

I am having major computer problems; I am hoping I can get this to you. It is another Daily from the past.

Ray’s Daily first published July 12, 2012

Yesterday was a greater challenge than I thought it would be. I started at 4:45 AM and spent most of the day at the hospital complex. Between the tests, blood draws and IV I had five needle stabbings and seven hours of waiting and participating. Today should be better because the Iron Absorption tests are over and I have an IV access port installed so this afternoon they will just hang the bag and plug me in, I should not be there more than three hours. I do have a couple of key meetings starting early today so I am sending you another blast from the past.

Ray’s Daily first published on July 12, 2004

As you know we have friends in all parts of the world who share our daily. Fortunately all know some English, some better than I do (I know that is not saying much). Sadly I am like so many of my fellow countrymen and have no skills in any other language. I am totally dependent on lots of hand signals, finger pointing, and written addresses whenever I am in other parts of the world. What I have found in the notes I exchange with many of these friends is that we work a little harder to understand. We look for words that mean the same thing to us both. I wonder when I have the good fortune to hear from them if our e-mail to each other is more effective since we try for clarity. Even if we struggle it is still worth the effort as I place high value on learning how others are doing in other parts of the world well as here in North America.

~~~

No one would talk much in society if they knew how often they misunderstood others.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

~~~

Why a Kitten is Better Than a Baby

Veterinarians have evening hours.

Your kitten won’t be able to disturb the whole movie with its crying. Heck, you don’t even have to take the kitten with you, and if you don’t, you don’t even have to worry about whether or not the sitter is available tonight.

Your kitten won’t grow out of those cute but expensive clothes within three months.

Kittens look cute if they haven’t had a bath in a month.

You probably don’t have to lie awake nights wondering how you’re going to finance your kitten’s college education.

No one will question your abilities to function normally at your job when they hear you just got a kitten.

You only have to change the litter box once a day.

~~~

“Every single moment is absolutely extraordinary. But the next day is a thousand times better.”

Salvador Dali

~~~

An airbus with 346 passengers on board met with technical problems and as the message was flashed to the passengers, they started screaming with fear. The Captain said, “Don’t panic. I want to ask you. Who among you is the greatest believer. Who has the greatest faith in God?”

A passenger from the economy class yelled “Myself” Captain: “Are you sure?”

Passenger: “Yes, I am.”

Captain: “Please stand at that corner and pray. We have a shortage of 1 parachute.”

~~~

Enthusiasm is everything. It must be taut and vibrating like a guitar string.

Pele

~~~

Esther broke-up with her boyfriend.

She asked her Mother’s advice about returning the gifts he’d given her.

Without a pause, her Mother replied: “Send back the stuffed animals and letters, but keep the jewelry for sentimental reasons.”

~~~

“There’s an old saying – There’s No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very similar.”

Geoffrey Parfitt

~~~

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams.  He asked her about what he should do next.

His mother had an idea:

“Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?”

He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.

“Oh, mom, the evening was a disaster,” he moaned.

“Why…….didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.

“Oh, she came over alright………but she refused to cook…”

~~~

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

~~~

An employment interviewer for a big company in New York was talking to an attractive young woman applying for a job. Looking over the application form, the interviewer noticed that the girl had not answered one important question concerning transportation to and from work.

“What about your bus line?” the interviewer asked her.

“I don’t believe I mentioned it,” came the pleased reply, “but it’s a 36C.”

~~~

“Live your life and forget your age.”

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

A couple with their four-year-old son was dining at one of San Francisco’s sophisticated restaurants.  “What do you suggest for a little boy who likes nothing but hamburgers, hot dogs, and tacos?” asked the mother.

“Los Angeles or San Diego,” sniffed the waiter.

~~~

Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one.

~~~

An aspiring young actor asked a young lady’s father if he could have his daughter’s hand in marriage. The father said, “I would never let my daughter marry an actor.”

The actor said, “Sir, I think you may change your mind if you see me perform. Won’t you at least come and see the play?”

So the father went to see the play, and the next day he called the actor, “You were right. I did change my mind. Go ahead and marry my daughter. You’re no actor.”

~~~

Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it.”

Irving Berlin

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Yes there is

Ray’s Daily

July11, 2019

www.rays-daily.com

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Believe

As we age life does not get any easier. Of course, we have always had bad days but we were able to avoid letting them get us down. The worse than that can happen to us at any age is depression. It is the knowledge that we are strong enough to weather the storms coupled with how we know that storms are temporary and tomorrow often means a brighter day.

It is important that we not lose faith in ourselves. So take inventory of all your capabilities and remember them when you are challenged. Don’t waste your time agonizing over the rocks in the road, step over them or walk around them but don’t let them stop you.

Believe In Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be, ….that’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down, but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself and all that you are capable of.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are, So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be, because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep believing in yourself.

Author Unknown

~~~

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

I was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars. I chose a treadmill in the corner so I’d be inconspicuous.

However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look.

Mortified, I stepped off the machine to leave. When I turned around, I realized that the gym’s only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head.

~~~

At my age, “getting a little action” means I don’t need to take a laxative.

~~~

He said: Tiring of the same old buzz cut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went into town to get my haircut. The hairdresser noticed my accent and asked where I was from.

“Trinidad,” I said.

“Is that in Arabia?”

“The Caribbean.”

She laughed, “Sorry, I never was very good at geometry.”

~~~

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same stuff?

~~~

A story concerns itself with a wholesaler in New York who sent a letter to the postmaster of a small mid-western town. He asked for the name of a honest lawyer who would take a collection case against a local debtor who had refused to pay for a shipment of the wholesaler’s goods. He got this reply:

“Dear Sir:

I am the postmaster of this village and received your letter. I am also an honest lawyer and ordinarily would be pleased to accept a case against a local debtor. In this case, however, I also happen to be the person you sold those crummy goods to. I received your demand to pay and refused to honor it. I am also the banker you sent the draft to draw on the merchant, and I sent that back with a note stating that the merchant had refused to pay. And if I were not, for the time being, substituting for the pastor of our local church, I would tell you just what I thought of your claim.”

~~~

Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

~~~

He said: When I worked for the security department of a large retail store, my duties included responding to fire and burglar alarms. A side door of the building was wired with a security alarm, because it was not supposed to be used by customers. Nevertheless they found the convenience of the exit tempting. Even a sign with large red letters, warning “Alarm will sound if opened,” failed to deter people from using it.

One day, after attending to a number of shrieking alarms, I placed a small handmade sign on the door that totally eliminated the problem: “Wet paint.”

~~~

Never trust a man who says he’s the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

~~~

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lilies. “Tsk Tsk!” said the passerby to himself. “Wha

t a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I’ll see if I can help.”

So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, “What are you doing, my friend?” “Fishin’, sir.” “Fishin’, eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?” The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar. His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, “Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?” The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, “You are the sixth today, sir!”

~~~

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”

Golda Meir

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

I need to do it again

Ray’s Daily

July 10, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“Self-discipline is an act of cultivation. It requires you to connect today’s actions to tomorrow’s results. There’s a season for sowing a season for reaping. Self-discipline helps you know which is which.”

Gary Ryan Blair

Control

I am off early this morning for my final physical therapy session. Yippee! It has done me some good but I am looking forward to more free time. Now let’s see if can follow todays advice and start a new exercise routine.

I am taking the easy way out and sending you my Daily from seven years ago.

Ray’s Daily first published July 10, 2012

My docs called today and added one more inoculation to my monthly routine, this one is to help me generate red blood cells, at least that is what I think they said. At least I’ll know I am a red-blooded American while others will not be as sure of themselves. As I reported yesterday things are going pretty well in my life even with some occasional health setbacks. Some folks have been complimentary of the self-discipline that I have exhibited lately as I follow a fairly ambitious exercise and good health routine.

I now wonder about all the years that I treated the need for self-discipline as a burden and as a distasteful activity. Now I view it as the gift I give myself since the results are a sense of wellbeing and measurable health improvement. Instead of rationalizing my traditional procrastination as being almost rewarding in its avoidance of doing what was best for me and losing, I now win every morning as I work to make each day better than the one before. The discipline is the wrapping on the gift I keep giving myself, I just sometimes wish that I hadn’t demonstrated my dumbness by waiting so long.

Jim Rohm the late human potential guru wrote this piece on discipline some years ago. I wish I had read it and heeded its advice back then.

Discipline

  • Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
  • We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.
  • All disciplines affect each other. Mistakenly the man says, “This is the only area where I let down.” Not true. Every let down affects the rest. Not to think so is naive.
  • Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion.
  • Discipline is the foundation upon which all success is built. Lack of discipline inevitably leads to failure.
  • Discipline has within it the potential for creating future miracles.
  • The best time to set up a new discipline is when the idea is strong.
  • It’s best to start the discipline of generosity when the amounts are small. It’s easy to give ten cents out of a dollar; it’s a little harder to give a hundred thousand out of a million.
  • One discipline always leads to another discipline.
  • You don’t have to change that much for it to make a great deal of difference. A few simple disciplines can have a major impact on how your life works out in the next 90 days, let alone in the next 12 months or the next 3 years.
  • The least lack of discipline starts to erode our self-esteem.

~~~

“We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit.”

Aristotle

~~~

Little Debbie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, “Daddy!  Daddy!  I got a 100 in school today!” “That’s great, Sweetheart,” said her daddy.  “Come in the living room and tell me about it.” “Well,” began the confession, “I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math, and 20 in science…”

~~~

“A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.”

David Brinkley

~~~

The company where my friend worked had a phone system that rerouted after-hours calls. If any calls came in on a certain line while he was working late, Dave knew it would be a wrong number.

It got to the point where, as soon as the phone rang, Dave would pick up and say, “Psychic Hotline. I’m sorry, but you’ve dialed the wrong number.”

The callers would often reply with something like, “But I didn’t even ask to speak to anyone yet. How did you know I dialed the wrong… Oh!

(Click)

~~~

The reason computers can do more work is they don’t have to stop and answer the phone.

~~~

A 16-year-old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini.  Very proud she came home and put it on. She then showed her mother how she looked in it.

“What do you think mom?” she asked.

Her mother replied: “If I wore that when I was your age, you would have been 5 years older.”

~~~

Some day I’ll get around to joining the “Procrastinators Club of Tomorrow”.

~~~

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.  “Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great husband.”

“Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, too.”

~~~

“It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always.”

Oprah Winfrey

~~~

You know what happens when you play country music backwards? You quit drinking, you get your wife back, you’re rehired and your lost dog comes home.

~~~

When Nancy and I went up to New England a few years ago we decided to stay in one of those quaint little inns. The clerk at the inn asked me if we wanted a room with a shower or a tub.

“What’s the difference?” I asked.

“Well, sir, in a tub, you can sit down.”

~~~

If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.

Thomas Edison

~~~

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.

Then she asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?”

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence with……

“I think I’d throw up!”

~~~

It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

Buddha

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

It is up to us

Ray’s Daily

July 9, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

Norman Vincent Peale

We can

In these times with so much animosity running rampant through society it is important that we don’t become part of the problem. It seems like many feel that winning is done by making sure the other guy loses. Innuendo, slurs and falsehoods are used by too many to destroy those they don’t agree with. I long for a return to civility, a time when we worked together for the greater good. A time when most did not believe the ends justified the means.

A friend asked me how can we deal with the pain created by todays polarization, feeling that there was nothing people like you and I can do. My response was that we can lead by example even if it is only by how we chose to behave. If you and me and that other guy display kindness and empathy for others we will have done our part.

Here is a poem that can inspire the kind of behavior that can warm our hearts

      Forget Each Kindness

         By Priscilla Leonard

 

Forget each kindness that you do

As soon as you have done it.

 Forget the praise that falls to you

The moment you have won it.

Forget the slander that you hear

Before you can repeat it.

Forget each slight, each spite, each sneer

Wherever you may meet it.

 

Remember every kindness done

To you, whate’er its measure.

Remember praise by others won

And pass it on with pleasure.

Remember every promise made

And keep it to the letter.

Remember those who lend you aid

And be a grateful debtor.

 

Remember all the happiness

 That comes your way in living.

Forget each worry and distress;

Be hopeful and forgiving.

Remember good, remember truth,

Remember Heaven’s above you,

 And you will find, through age and youth,

True joys and hearts to love you.

~~~

Life is a question and how we live it is our answer.

Gary Keller

~~~

A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost fifty dollars an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee.

“Hoot mon,” he said, “in Scotland it wouldna ha’ been more than $20.”

“That might be true,” said the travel agent, “but you have to take into account that the Sea of Galilee is water on which our Lord himself walked.”

“Well, at $50 an hour for a boat,” said the Scotsman, “it’s no wonder he walked!”

~~~

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

Ogden Nash

~~~

She said: During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was told never to recommend one of our doctors over another, but simply state who had available appointments. One day a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially. “I’m a nurse,” she whispered, “and I know the staff always knows which doctors are good and which aren’t. Who do you think I should see?” Knowing my supervisor was listening close by, I tried to sound most professional. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied. “I can’t recommend any of our doctors.” “Well, you must know!” she said, heading for the door.

~~~

Is it my imagination…or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

~~~

Harry sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes but then the drawbridge got stuck. I swam across the river — see? My suit’s still damp — ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Trump’s helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.”

“You’ll have to do better than that, Harry,” said the boss. “No woman can get ready in ten minutes!”

~~~

All builders’ quotes and time estimates are complete fiction.

~~~

A few women were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said “My husband just won’t go to church with me, I think he’s going to go to Hell.”

This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in Hell.

So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said “I try to be good – I’m sure I’ll make it to Heaven.”

Another one said, “No, I did this bad thing. I won’t make it unless I mend my ways and I better start soon.”

At this point they noticed that one of the ladies (the only single women in the group, and a blonde mind you) wasn’t saying anything. They turned to her and said “You’re such a nice lady, surely you’ll be going to Heaven?”

She says “No way! In fact, first thing in the morning, I’m going to buy me a ticket straight to Hell!”

They were shocked and asked, “Why??”

“Well, you don’t expect me to live in a world without men, do you?”

~~~

“I feel so strongly about toilet graffiti, I signed a partition.”

~~~

I was meeting a friend in a bar, and as I went in I noticed two pretty girls looking at me.

“Nine,” I heard one whisper as I passed.

Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.

“I don’t want to ruin it for you,” he said, “but when I walked in, they were speaking German.

~~~

My life is my message.

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Be Yourself

Ray’s Daily

July 8, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

Self-consciousness can prevent you from being who you are, expressing what you are feeling, doing what you want to do. Learn how to break free of worrying about what other people think.

Jim Taylor, Ph.D.

Be you

It seems like a lot of us are afraid to do what we are capable of doing for fear that some is watching and will criticize us. I have learned a long time ago that I cannot excel if I let others hold me back. It seems to me society today has created unfounded concerns on far too many of us and it is costing us by the resultant conformist limits on our happiness.

Here is an abridged article from the Saturday Evening Post that reminds us that most of the things that hold us back is our own self-imposed barriers.

Let Go of Self-Consciousness

Is it just me, or are people more self-consciousness than ever before? Thanks in no small part to the Internet in general and social media in particular, it seems like everyone is “under the microscope” these days.

This intensifies a culture where appearance, whether physical or financial, is all important; it can seem like being critical of others is the national pastime. Through the popular media, we also are bombarded by messages that we aren’t good enough, others are better than us, and we can be the best if we really want.

Because of these persistent messages of being judged and compared, it’s so easy to think that everyone is watching and critiquing our every move. When you think other people are thinking about you, it’s actually you who is thinking about you. When you believe others are being critical of you, they’re not, you are. Are you a mind reader? Of course not — we humans aren’t clairvoyant (though we like to think we are). So when you think someone is thinking badly of you, it’s really you thinking badly of you. Now that, not what other people are supposedly thinking of you, is something to be really concerned about.

Of course, this epiphany is a double-edged sword. It can lift a huge weight off of your shoulders because you no longer have to worry about what other people are thinking or saying about you, and you are free to think, feel, and act in ways that are true to yourself. The downside (sort of) is that we all want to live under the illusion that we are worthy of others devoting time and energy to thinking about us. But, as the saying goes, the truth will set you free!

Tips to Help You Let Go of Your Self-Consciousness

  • When you feel self-conscious, look around and see if anyone is actually looking at you.
  • Remind yourself that what you think others are thinking is actually what you are thinking.
  • Take a risk and act in a way that might make you self-conscious and see what happens (probably nothing bad).
  • Say “F&%# it” when you feel self-conscious and instead act in ways that you want to.
  • As the saying goes, “dance as if no one is watching.”
  • If your self-consciousness is interfering with your happiness, find a good therapist.

~~~

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on.

Maxwell Maltz

~~~

A grandmother was pushing her grandchild around Wal-Mart in a buggy.

Each time she put something in the basket, she would say, “And here’s something for you, Diploma” or, “This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma” and so on.

Eventually, a bewildered shopper who had heard all this, finally asked, “Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?”

The grandmother replied, “I sent my daughter to college and this is what she came home with!”

~~~

“People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves, they have the first secret of success.”

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly, she began to shout, “Shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t, can’t!”

“Doctor, what’s wrong with my wife?!”

“Nothing. She’s just having contractions.”

~~~

A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.

~~~

A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse.

“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.

“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”

~~~

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

Carol Burnett

~~~

After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge’s bench.  “Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’ of the charges.”

The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. “If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?” he demanded.

Finley looked up wide-eyed and stated, “Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me.”

~~~

To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.

~~~

Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a clip on it, so she could attach it directly to her belt.

A few days later, I walked into my mother’s home and found her standing in the middle of the living room, halfway dressed. That didn’t strike me as odd so much as the fact that she was holding her pants to the side of her head and speaking into them.

“Don’t look at me that way,” she yelled. “The phone started ringing and I couldn’t figure out how to undo this stupid clip!”

~~~

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.

Lao-Tzu

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Stop Worrying

Ray’s Daily

July 5, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“Give your stress wings and let it fly away.”

Terri Guillemets

Conceptual image - hostage of the stress

One of the things that concerns me the most is how so many of us get stressed out by today’s challenges. It is no wonder that the polarized rhetoric that is heard these days can provoke concerns. Yet the reality is that we live in our own environment usually untouched by the turmoil around us.

The happiest people I know are those who care, do what they can, and don’t let their woes bog them down. Once we realize that our happiness is really up to us our world brightens when we dump our worries. If we let ourselves be weighted down with stress and worry our happiness will elude us.

Here is a story that I agree with, I hope you do too.

The Weight of the Glass

Once upon a time a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students.  As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” question.  Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple pounds.

She replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter.  It all depends on how long I hold it.  If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light.  If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little.  If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor.  In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”

As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, “Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water.  Think about them for a while and nothing happens.  Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little.  Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”

The moral:  It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses and worries.  No matter what happens during the day, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down.  Don’t carry them through the night and into the next day with you.  If you still feel the weight of yesterday’s stress, it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down.

~~~

“Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.”

Robert Eliot

~~~

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip. He hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there’s any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he’s in luck, there’s a pizza place that just opened and they deliver. He gets the phone number and goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.

The businessman takes the pizza and immediately starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, “What’s on this pizza?”

The delivery man bows deeply and says, “Pizza have what you order: pepper only.”

~~~

Few people blame themselves until they have exhausted all other possibilities.

~~~

Kids Thoughts On Marriage

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? – You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. – Alan, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? – You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. – Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? – Both don’t want any more kids. – Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? – Dates are for having fun and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. – Lynnette, age 8

On the first date they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. – Martin, age 10  (who said boys do not have brains)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? – When they’re rich. – Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. – Curt, age 7 (good point)

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? – I It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. – Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED? – There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? – Kelvin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? – Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. – Ricky, age 10

~~~

No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.

Bertrand Russell

~~~

Under a sign that said “Employees Must Wash Hands,” someone scribbled: I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

~~~

Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.

En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one asked, “Sir, do you know what we’re doing right now?”

The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window.

“Oh,” he replied, “I’d say about 50, maybe 55.”

~~~

“The day she let go of the things that were weighing her down, was the day she began to shine the brightest.”

Katrina Mayer

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Celebrate

Ray’s Daily

July 3, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

Nelson Mandela

Independence

Tomorrow is my country’s Independence Day, a national holiday. We will celebrate with a cook out and a day of rest so no Daily. In fact I am running behind today so here is a Daily from 17 years ago.

Ray’s Daily first published on July 3, 2002

Tomorrow is Independence Day in the US. It is the anniversary of the US Declaration of Independence that was adopted in 1776. The declaration included the statement, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.”

During this time of great national concern, I hope that we can keep a balance between our need for national security and our hard won personal freedoms.

~~~

“If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.”

John Stuart Mill

~~~

Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.

Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.

“Well,” she explained, “up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend.

In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees.

~~~

The district attorney stared at the jury, unable to believe its verdict.

Bitterly he asked, “What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?”

The foreman answered, “Insanity.”

The D.A. said, “All twelve of you?”

~~~

Poverty: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

~~~

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

  • On a Continental Flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”
  • On landing the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”
  • “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”
  • “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”
  • After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”
  • In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child… pick your favorite.
  • Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”
  • Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of US Airways.”

~~~

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

~~~

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill’s wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game.

But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, “What’s the matter, Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now.”

Bill said, “Well, something terrible happened. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole.”

“My God, honey!” said the wife, rushing to comfort him. “That must’ve been terrible!”

“It was,” he said. “All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again…”

~~~

There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory, the other two I forget.

~~~

As I was checking on my shrinking 401 K accounts I learned the following:

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50.

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell “Broke”.

BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you’re supposed to be listening to your manager’s presentation.

SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn’t actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. “The rent, sir?” “Hahaha, well, I’m a little short this month.”).

COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

~~~

Her mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty…

They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

~~~

A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results.

“I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.”

“Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?”

“Ten,” the doctor says sadly.

“Ten?” the man asks. “Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!”

“Nine…”

~~~

The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Stay Cool

Ray’s Daily

July 2, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“Calmness is the cradle of power.”

Josiah Gilbert Holland

almness

Not all of us learn how we can live a more tranquil life. There is a lot of truth in the old adage that reminds us not to sweat the small stuff and don’t fear the bigger stuff. My family sometimes questions why I don’t often panic when we encounter a setback. There are two reasons, first it is not worth it and second, I can deal with challenges more easily when my thoughts are not in disarray.

We can all benefit by embracing calmness. Here are some ways we can do that. I have edited the article for space reasons, but left the key points.

10 ways smart people stay calm

TRAVIS BRADBERRY

While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that smart people employ when faced with stress, what follows are ten of the best. Some of these strategies may seem obvious, but the real challenge lies in recognizing when you need to use them and having the wherewithal to actually do so in spite of your stress.

They appreciate what they have – Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the “right” thing to do. It also improves your mood, because it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%.

They avoid asking “what if?” – “What if?” statements throw fuel on the fire of stress and worry. Things can go in a million different directions, and the more time you spend worrying about the possibilities, the less time you’ll spend focusing on taking action that will calm you down and keep your stress under control.

They stay positive – Positive thoughts help make stress intermittent by focusing your brain’s attention onto something that is completely stress-free.

They disconnect – Given the importance of keeping stress intermittent, it’s easy to see how taking regular time off the grid can help keep your stress under control.

They limit their caffeine intake – Drinking caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline. Adrenaline is the source of the “fight-or-flight” response, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat

They sleep – I’ve beaten this one to death over the years and can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels.

They squash negative self-talk – A big step in managing stress involves stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them.

They reframe their perspective – Stress and worry are fueled by our own skewed perception of events. You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them. So before you spend too much time dwelling on something, take a minute to put the situation in perspective.

They breathe – The easiest way to make stress intermittent lies in something that you have to do everyday anyway: breathing. The practice of being in the moment with your breathing will begin to train your brain to focus solely on the task at hand and get the stress monkey off your back.

They use their support system – It’s tempting, yet entirely ineffective, to attempt tackling everything by yourself. To be calm and productive, you need to recognize your weaknesses and ask for help when you need it.

~~~

“Calmness is a human superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace.”

Marc Chernoff

~~~

The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a “little” stowed away rum. Unfortunately he got drunk and was still drunk the next morning. The captain saw him drunk and when the first mate was sober, showed him the following entry in the ship’s log: “The first mate was drunk today.” “Captain please don’t let that stay in the log”, the mate said. “This could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself.” “Is it true?” asked the captain, already knowing the answer. “Yes, its true” the mate said. “Then if it is true it has to go in the log. That’s the rule. If its true it goes into the log, end of discussion” said the captain sternly.

Weeks later, it was the first mate’s turn to make the log entries. The first mate wrote: “The ship seems in good shape. The captain was sober today.”

~~~

TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?

SASHA: A new bike!

~~~

A ventriloquist and his little dog were traveling through the country and stopped at a farm house where the man promised the farmer he would have the dog talk some for him if he would give them something to eat. The farmer brought out some supper for the man and some bone scraps for the little dog. As they were eating, the ventriloquist asked the dog, “How do you like your supper, Carlo?” “Plenty bone but not much meat!” the dog replied. The farmer was astounded, said, “What’ll you take for that dog?” The traveller said, “Oh, couldn’t part with my dog.” “I’ll give you $50 for him,” the farmer said. The ventriloquist said, “What do you think, Carlo?” And Carlo spoke back to him, “Why, that other feller offered you $150, and now you’d sell me for just $50?” “Well, I need the money bad, Carlo,” the man said, and told the farmer he would take the fifty if he would give him fifty more when he came back through in a month or two. The farmer said he would, and counted out $50 for him. The man handed the farmer the string that was tied around Carlo’s neck and told Carlo goodbye. “Are you sure you’re coming back?” Carlo asked him as he walked away. The traveler said yes he was. “Well,” the dog said, “I’m sorry you’re selling me, but I’d hate to see you get gypped. I’ll not speak another word til you come back and this old fool gives you the rest of the money.”

~~~

A kindergarten teacher asked, “What is the shape of the earth ?” One lil’ girl spoke up: “According to my Daddy — terrible!”

~~~

The tourist wandered into a gourmet food shop in Beverly Hills. He picked out two apples and a pear.

“That will be $8.00,” the storeowner said.

The tourist gave him a ten-dollar bill and walked away.

“Wait! Don’t you want your change?”

“Forget it. I stepped on a grape on my way in.”

~~~

“Your strength is in your calmness, in the clarity of your mind. Strength comes from putting the negative aside without reacting. Win in calmness, in consciousness, in balance.”

Yogi Amrit Desai

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Keep it simple

Ray’s Daily

July 1, 2019

“Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.”

– Leo Buscaglia

Overthink

I get concerned when I am with friends who spend a lot of their energy fretting about things they can’t control. It is just not worth the mental anguish.

When we retire we owe it to ourselves to also free our minds so that we can enjoy what is left of our lives. We have left the workplace behind and we can also get rid of our workplace worries. It is also wise to accept that you are probably as good as you’re going to get and that is fine, in my case people can take me or leave me as this is as good as I will ever be. When we accept that who we are is OK we don’t have to try to be something else. If you are like I am you enjoy the opportunity to just be yourself.

The other day I read an article by Henrik Edberg offering tips on how we can quit overthinking, here in part is what he wrote.

Overthinking – My 5 Favorite Tips

  1. 1. Use a reminder to save yourself from winding up there in the first place. – Staying aware of your negative habit and catching yourself as soon as you start falling into that trap of overthinking as you go about your day can be a big help. So what’s needed for this to work a lot better is a reminder. Keep things extremely simple.
  2. Reframe the situation and see it from a wider view. – When you’re thinking and thinking about something then ask yourself: Will this matter in 5 years? Or even in 5 weeks? It will help you to not let medium-sized issues become something that causes more stress or concern than is necessary.
  3. Get out of your own head. – When you’re stuck in your own head and thoughts then it can be hard to break out of an overthinking loop about something. A simple solution that works well but can be a bit counter-intuitive is to then direct your focus fully outward instead of inward.
  4. Simply small step it. – If overthinking becomes a way to procrastinate or to not face the fear of getting out of the comfort zone you’re in then small step it. Find just one small or tiny step you can take to move forward. One small action that takes 1-5 minutes. Do that and focus only on that one step until you’re done.
  5. Just realize and accept that you can’t control everything. – Not even if you think a situation through 50 times or more. A better and healthier way forward is in my experience to understand that making mistakes, failing and sometimes looking like a fool is natural part of stretching your comfort zone.

~~~

“Thinking too much leads to paralysis by analysis. It’s important to think things through, but many use thinking as a means of avoiding action.”

Robert Herjavek

~~~

Do you remember when you said to the kids?

Don’t ask me, ask your mother.

Were you raised in a barn?

This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.

You call that noise “music?”

We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.

No, we’re not there yet.

As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.

I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!

I don’t care what other people are doing! I’m not everybody else’s Father!

Act your age.

~~~

True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Jason Jordan

~~~

Perhaps you’ve heard of the man who thought he was dead, when in reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive. Nothing seemed to work. Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don’t bleed. After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead men don’t bleed.

“Do you now agree that dead men don’t bleed?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, I do,” the patient replied.

“Very well, then,” the doctor said.

He took out a pin and pricked the patient’s finger. Out came a trickle of blood.

The doctor asked, “What does that tell you?”

“Oh my goodness!” the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger……. “Dead men do bleed!!”

~~~

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teen-ager who wants to stay out all night?

~~~

Little Johnny was in pre-school and not doing very well. The teacher, Miss Crabtree, decided to work with him one on one.  Miss Crabtree her tutoring for the day by saying, “If you put your hand in your left pocket and pull out a nickel and then put your other hand in your right pocket and pulled out another nickel, what would you have?”

Johnny thought for a minute and then said, “I would have someone elses pants on”.

~~~

My Dad claims he shoots golf in the low 70’s. “If it gets any colder,” he says, “He’ll quit.”

~~~

1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

10 cards = 1 decacards

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

10 millipedes = 1 centipede

3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent

2 monograms = 1 diagram

8 nickels = 2 paradigms

2 wharves = 1 paradox

~~~

“We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it.”

John Newton

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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