Ray's musings and humor

Archive for February, 2009

Dropping out is tempting, but no thanks!

Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.

William James

 

 

 

 

I think I mentioned the other day that I was going to have to say more often. Not so much because I care any less it is just that there are so many challenges these days that we need everyone to do all they can and no one person by themselves can come close to doing what needs to be done. I also must admit that I occasionally think that I should just walk away for awhile and spend my time entertaining myself and taking things easier. This is not the first time I have had those thoughts so I went back to earlier Dailies to find another time when walking away was tempting. I found a Daily from six years ago that had a similar ring, I have reprinted it below.

 

February 2003

I have ended my retirement yet another time. Kiwanis International has provided me the opportunity to assist in the further development of their international service to children. I struggled with accepting the opportunity for a week or so as I have really enjoyed the freedom that retirement has provided these last six months. I have had the time to pursue a number of interests as well as to take extended vacations.

Selfishly I had put these interests ahead of the opportunity to again serve. Luckily I received a phone call the other night from actor/artist James Kiberd. James is a goodwill entertainment industry ambassador for the US Fund for UNICEF and a friend of Kiwanis. We talked for an hour or so about what each of us were doing and what we might be able to do. From that conversation I came to the conclusion that while it would be easier to say no and just go on enjoying my freedom, I would feel much worse for having given up the opportunity to help make a difference in the lives of children. So starting next Monday I will add a vocation to my avocation and do what I can to help. Wish me well.

~~~

If you wish to be a leader you will be frustrated, for very few people wish to be led. If you aim to be a servant you will never be frustrated.

Frank F. Warren

~~~

Sol and Ben are opening a new fish store, and they are sitting down to sketch out the sign. Ben draws "FRESH FISH SOLD HERE TODAY".

The guy in the sign shop tells them he charges $30 a letter, and the two entrepreneurs go home to talk it over.

Sol says, "We don’t need TODAY — of course they’re for sale today." Ben agrees and says, "HERE? Where else would we be selling fish?" and they agree to delete that word, too. Sol thinks a minute and says. "SOLD we don’t need. It’s a store, they come in they’ll see a cash register, they’ll know," and Ben strikes that word out, too.

The sign now says FRESH FISH. Ben shakes his head. "Of course FRESH. Would we be selling stale fish?" and they cross that word out. The sign now says FISH, and Sol crumples up the paper. "We’ll leave the door open, they’ll smell and they’ll know we have fish," he says as Ben nods. "Already, before we open, we’ve saved over $600."

~~~

While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you’re in?"

~~~

When an agnostic dies, does he go to the "great perhaps"?

~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

Little Johnny says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

~~~

A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

~~~

POSITION: Mom, Mama, Mother, Mommy

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: For the rest of your life;

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

~~~

"Of course there is no formula for success except, perhaps, an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings."

Arthur Rubinstein

~~~

When it comes to tunes, my local music shop prefers the sound of silence. A sign prominently displayed on a grand piano reads, "The management is not responsible for the actions of its employees if your child plays ‘Heart and Soul’ or ‘Chopsticks’ on this instrument."

~~~

Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others…he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

Robert F. Kennedy

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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Obstacles create opportunities

“Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals – Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want”

Marsha Sinetar

 

 

 

I attended a seminar at Butler University last night, the discussion centered on the emerging global powers in relationship to the US. During the evening we viewed a number of charts that showed how India, China and Brazil as well as others would have positive growth this year while we were expecting negative growth. Other charts showed how we had lost alliances over the past eight years as most of the world no longer held us in high esteem because of our foreign policy and other factors, fortunately that view is changing. The point was that the data was not based on conjecture or speculation but on raw facts and validated surveys. At the end of the evening an attendee suggested that the program was anti-US because the facts shown were negative. I was disappointed in the comment as there had been no negative criticism of the US, rather we were presented with the challenges we face and some of the positive steps we are undertaking to solve our problems.

As I thought about the issue I began to believe that only one of two things would have satisfied the critic, either falsifying the numbers or by totally ignoring reality. You know in sales we always want to get the prospect to let us know his objections so we can deal them and then make the sale. I think it is the same in today’s world with all the challenges we face, we must face facts and then do what is necessary to move ahead. However there seems to be many who don’t believe we have economic or geopolitical problems. Some don’t even think there is climate change even as the polar ice caps are melting at a record pace.

We can and we will overcome our problems, but not by pretending they don’t exist. We’ll do so by pulling ourselves up, making what ever adjustments we need to make and investing in our futures through the constructive steps we take. And that is also what we must do in our own private lives. It may not be easy; it may take a lot longer than we would like, but if we let ourselves drop out because it is easier to find excuses than to take action we will risk missing our opportunity to build a better life in the years ahead.

~~~

“The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.”

Abraham Lincoln

~~~

An elderly lady was concerned about her husband’s hearing. It seemed that every time she would call him, he wouldn’t respond. So, the lady went to the doctor to ask his advice.

The doctor said to her, "when you go home, tell your husband to stand at the end of the hallway, and you should stand at the other end.

Ask him what he wants for dinner. Continue to move him closer towards you until he responds to your question so you know exactly how far away he is from you when he finally hears you."

She thought this was a great idea. When she got home, she placed her husband at the end of the hallway and yelled, "Herbert, what do you want for dinner?"

There was no response. She moved 10 feet closer.

Again she yelled, "Herbert, what do you want for dinner?"

No response.

She moved another 15 feet closer to where she was now practically face to face with her husband.

She yelled even louder this time, "HERBERT, what do you want for dinner?!!"

Herbert yelled back at her, "For the THIRD time, I want chicken!!"

~~~

Things could be worse…Martha Stewart could be your mother-in-law.

~~~

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will." The meal ended with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places.

Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?" He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?"

He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me."

~~~

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.

James Oppenheim

~~~

Mrs. Finkel was in her garden, hanging up her washing on the line when her gossipy neighbor poked her head over the fence.

"I hate to tell you this, Rachel," said the gossip, "but there’s a rumor that your husband, Abe, is chasing young women. And at his age too!" she clucked like a chicken. "He’s seventy-five, no?"

"Nu, so he’s seventy-five," replied Mrs Finkel. "So let him chase girls. Dogs chase cars – but when they catch one, can they drive it?"

~~~

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

~~~

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race begin?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and all mankind was made."

Two days later, the girl asked her father the same question, "How did the human race begin?"

The father answered, "Many years ago, there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God and Dad said it developed from monkeys?"

The mother answered, "Well, dear, it’s very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

~~~

When everyone thinks alike not much gets thought.

Johan Norberg

~~~

A guy and a girl are having a drink together in a bar. The man raises his glass and says, "Here’s hoping you’re in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you’re dead!"

"What’s that mean?" asks the girl.

"That," answers her date, "is an authentic Irish toast."

"Oh. Well, here’s to bread, eggs and cinnamon!"

"Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What’s that?"

The girl says, "That’s French toast."

~~~

No tool is more beneficial than intelligence.

No enemy is more harmful than ignorance.

Abu Abdullah Muhammad al-Harithi al-Baghdadi al-Mufid

~~~

Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench in Brent Cross shopping center talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.

Sadie says, "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is and how much he loves his mother."

Minnie says,"You call that love? You know the Mercedes I just got for Mother’s Day? That’s from my son Bernie. What a doll."

Shirley says "That’s nothing. You know my son Stanley? He’s in analysis with a psychoanalyst in Harley Street, five sessions a week. And what does he talk about? Me!"

~~~

“Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets.”

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

We can do it!

If you have accomplished all that you have planned for yourself, you have not planned enough.

Edward Everett Hale

 

 

 

If you are like I am you are finding the challenges we face these days to be somewhat daunting. I have watched my nest egg shrink, the value of my home drop and way too many friends and neighbors lose their jobs, income and/or savings. We face so many decisions as we must make life style adjustments about what we might do that it becomes overwhelming. I am afraid far too many of us try to do everything at once, striking out in every direction only creating chaos and frustration while making little if any real progress. Others just find the effort so frightening that they fall into deep depression and just stop trying.

In reality we really don’t have to do everything at once or in haste. An actor friend recently told me that in his experience the slower (maybe he meant more deliberate) you go, the faster you get there. When we choose one or two things to concentrate on we can monitor or progress and adjust as we need to. By laying out an action plan that we can implement logically a step at a time we not only will be more effective we also will reap the rewards that come from successfully completing each task along the way. I think too many of us think in black and white terms; no job today – failure….hired today – success. In reality each step moving us closer to our goal is a success; even missteps are learning experiences that eliminate an option thus giving us greater focus on what might work.

Some time ago I took a tutorial offered by life coach Michael Bungay Stanier that included this offering which I think is on point.

"When all is said and done, a lot more is said than done."

Over the last ten days you’ve been thinking about what might contribute to a life of fun, inspiration and action for you.

You’ve thought about

==> What do you want?

==> Where are you stuck?

==> What’s possible?

==> What do you already know?

And now, the final question:  What will you do?

If you don’t act, the moment passes.

And nothing changes.

======================

So what can you do about it?

======================

You don’t have to come up with a master plan to change the world or change your life.

Pick one area you’d like to focus on.

Get clear on what you’d like to be different, what success looks like.

And define the next step that you need to take to move towards that success.

It almost certainly won’t be a big thing.  But it will be something, and that’s what matters.

Just the next step.

So… What will you do?

~~~

All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.

Earl Nightingale

~~~

Boy is this right on!

You Live in California when…

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.

2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.

3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

4. You know how to eat an artichoke.

5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You Live in New York City when…

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

3. You can get into a 4-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.

4. You think Central Park is "nature,"

5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

6. You’ve worn out your car horn.

7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You Live in the Deep South when…

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2."Ya’ll" is singular and "all ya’ll" is plural.

3. After 5 years you still hear, "You ain’t from ’round here, are Ya?"

4. "He needed killin’” is a valid defense.

5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

You live in the Midwest when…

1. You’ve never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where’s my coat at?"

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

You live in Florida when…

1.  You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2.  All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.

3.  Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4.  Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5.  Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

~~~

The small choices and decisions we make a hundred times a day add up to determining the kind of world we live in.

Harold S. Kushner Rabbi

~~~

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder." Alfred Hitchcock

~~~

A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.

During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"

A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it’s like a completely different place–the farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. "Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"

"Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

~~~

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."

Paul Boese

~~~

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit."

"And why not, darling?"

"You know that it always gives you a headache next morning."

~~~

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

~~~

We get through to people to the extent that we have unconditional regard for them as human beings.

Carl Rodgers

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

If you join great things can happen!

"I can’t do everything, but I can do something. If we all did something. We could conquer anything."

Robert L. Shimmel

 

 

 

A week or so ago I did a television interview where the moderator in an off the air discussion told me that her and her husband shared a dream. They wanted to mobilize caring volunteers from their area into an army of servers. I got excited about the possibilities of how such a group could make a real difference. They plan to bring hands and hearts together targeting areas of need where they can do the most good. This week it might be framing a house for Habitat for Humanity, providing humanitarian aid as they help the Salvation Army in a disaster area, helping to package and store food for a food bank or mentoring kids who can benefit from positive role models thus helping them see alternatives to a life on the streets.

As I thought about their dream I realized that they were about to establish a ministry, with the community forming the walls of their church, their volunteers becoming their congregation and their services the actual act of giving to others through the help they provide. I felt honored when they asked me if we could meet to discuss how they might establish linkages to service opportunities and to learn how they might identify where the need was the greatest and where their help could do the most good.

The army that they are building is like a service club without dues, meetings or ritual. They are not in business to act as a clearing house matching one persons interest to an organization that needs a volunteer, of course in the process of serving where needed many will find organizations that they would like to join in addition to serving with the group, rather they are there to provide unconditional help where needed.

These are trying times, money is scarce and the needs are growing rapidly. Our neighbors are in trouble and the need to reach across the fence and help has never been greater. I meet many people each week who want to do something for others but don’t know how to get started, now they will have a place to go, a place where they will able to join up with neighbors and reap the rewards that come from caring for those in need. I have already contacted organizations who are excited about the possibilities of partnering with these folks and we will be establishing direct communications with them in the next week or so.

I am truly grateful that I have been given a chance to help in a small way. I’d like to think that my friend’s efforts will demonstrate what can be done by caring people like you and me. Other similar ministries in service can be formed in the future in neighborhoods, towns, military bases, almost anywhere. The need has never been greater nor have there ever been more hearts and hands crying out to be used for the good of others. It is dreams like this that can light a flame that burns so brightly that it is carried around the world and in this case if it does it will be because two good people cared enough to light the first candle.

~~~

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.  Anne Frank

~~~

If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope.

If you can find beauty in the colors of a small flower, then you still have hope.

If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly, then you still have hope.

If the smile of a child can still warm your heart, then you still have hope.

If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope.

If the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep, then you still have hope.

If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder, then you still have hope.

If the soft fur of a favored pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips, then you still have hope.

If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, then you still have hope.

If you give people the benefit of a doubt, then you still have hope.

If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life, then you still have hope.

If receiving an unexpected card or letter still brings a pleasant surprise, then you still have hope.

If the suffering of others still fills you with pain and frustration, then you still have hope.

If you refuse to let a friendship die, or accept that it must end, then you still have hope.

If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection, then you still have hope.

If you still buy the ornaments, put up the Christmas tree or cook the turkey, then you still have hope.

If you still watch love stories or want the endings to be happy, then you still have hope.

If you can look to the past and smile, then you still have hope.

If, when faced with the bad, when told everything is futile, you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase…."yeah….BUT.." then you still have hope.

Hope is such a marvelous thing.  It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides, but rarely does it break.

It sustains us when nothing else can. It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead, when we tell ourselves we’d rather give in. Hope puts a smile on our face when the heart cannot manage. Hope puts our feet on the path when our eyes cannot see it. Hope moves us to act when our souls are confused of the direction. Hope is a wonderful thing, something to be cherished and nurtured, and something that will refresh us in return.  And it can be found in each of us, and it can bring light into the darkest of places.  Never lose hope.

Author Unknown

~~~

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

10 WAYS YOU KNOW YOUR INTERNET CONNECTION IS SLOW

1.  Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code.

2.  Graphics arrive via FedEx.

3.  You believe a heavier string might improve your connection.

4.  You post a message to your favorite newsgroup and it displays a week later.

5.  Your credit card expires while ordering online.

6.  ESPN Web site exhibits "Heisman Trophy Winner"…for 1989.

7.  You’re still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "PacMan".

8.  Everyone you talk to on the ‘net phone’ sounds like Forrest Gump.

9.  You receive e-mails with stamps on them.

10. When you click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.

~~~

"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."

Rita Mae Brown

~~~

While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. "As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?"

"Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I’d limp too."

~~~

“To do more for the world than the world does for you – that is success.”

Henry Ford

~~~

Don was in his usual place, sitting at the table, reading the paper during breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ.

He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face. "I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

His wife replies, "Why, thank you, dear!""

~~~

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It’s not.

Dr. Seuss

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

Have you had yours lately?

A hug is a handshake from the heart.

 

 

 

Here it is the middle of the afternoon and I am just starting to put together the Daily. It seems that I am brain dead, probably due in no small part to the fact I met very early with a fascinating friend that always challenges me mentally. And then if that wasn’t enough I lunched with a favorite and very smart old friend. So I went looking for something relevant from an old Daily and I found something that I firmly believe in and that is the value of the hug.

It is a practice that I have possibly over used especially with folks that I just met, but I must admit it is fun to see the panic in some people’s eyes as you move into the pre-hug position. But even though some are shocked I still persist in doing it because I think it not only has therapeutic value it is also provides me the opportunity to express how highly I regard the people I meet. So from the days of yesteryear I share with you what my good Chicago friend Judy sent me more than five years ago.

I’ve learned that everyday you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch – holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about.  I just did.  Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.

NOTE:  People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

~~~

Her ad: Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog
~~~

If…..

If ya can’t beat ’em…….RUN!

If you can read this you have a modem.

If you don’t care where you are, then you ain’t lost.

If you don’t like my opinion of you – improve yourself!

If you don’t think women are explosive, drop one!

If you have nothing to say, please only say it once!

~~~

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

~~~

These announcements were found in synagogue newsletters and bulletins.

·      Don’t let worry kill you.  Let your synagogue help.

·      Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation.

·      For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

·      Thursday at 5:00 PM, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All women wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the rabbi in his private study.

·      The ladies of Hadassah have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the basement on Tuesdays.

~~~

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

About 30 pounds.

Cindy Garner

~~~

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study. The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to two separate classrooms to take the exam. Each boy just shrugged and went to two different parts of the building. As each sat down, they read the directions: "For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom. For 95 points, tell me WHICH tire it was!"

~~~

I walked in a bar the other day and ordered a double.

The bartender brings out a guy who looks just like me.

~~~

A husband was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside.  His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You’re beautiful."

Flattered, she continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.  Later he woke up and said, "You’re cute." "What happened to ‘beautiful’?" she asked him.

"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.

~~~

"Then the insurance man told me that the accident policy covered falling off the roof but not hitting the ground."

Tommy Cooper

~~~

He said there are ten things that only a woman understands.

10. Cats’ facial expressions

9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors

8. Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds

7. Fat clothes

6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell

4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow

3. Eyelash curlers

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

AND, the Number One thing only women understand: OTHER WOMEN

~~~

God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

~~~

My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.  She said "…And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said ‘Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?’"

Then the teacher asked the class "And what do you think that man said?" and my friend’s son raised his hand and said "I know! I know!  He said ‘Holy smokes! A talking pig!’"

~~~

Yeager’s Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.

Corollary: All breakdowns occur on the repairman’s day off.

~~~

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace.

The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

Some signs to look for:

* A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

* An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

* A loss of interest in judging other people.

* A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

* A loss of interest in conflict.

* A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)

* Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

* Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

* Frequent attacks of smiling.

* An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

* An increased susceptibility to the love offered by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

~~~

The smallest good deed is better than the greatest intention.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

 

I’ll look for your comet!

“I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.”

Jack London

 

 

I have been somewhat concerned lately with how much the economic situation is dragging down so many folks. Long periods of unemployment, loss of homes and material things, maintaining a bare bones life style, with limited access to education and medical needs all take their toll. Some fall into the depths of depression and resign themselves to failure which takes the wind from their sails and destroys their confidence. How tragic it is to watch good people who feel the problems of the world are all their fault and that there is nothing that can be done. In effect they have almost guaranteed that when they are gone they will leave nothing but dust behind.

But I am pleased to report that most of the people I know who face the same challenges do so with style, grace, strength, optimism and humor. I am awestruck as I observe the resiliency of these friends. I know it takes strength and understanding to stay up when all around you is being torn down but these people do it. I know one of the secrets of many of them and that is that if their spark does not find tinder to ignite in one place they find it in another. If there is no launching pad in the salaried world they find one in the volunteer world. If they can’t find the engineers job they clean the train, they do what it takes to supplement their income and they take pride in themselves, they do not require a title or big income to know they have value.

The economy will turn and many will go on to even more luxurious lives then those they had in the past but almost all that stood tall will have brought a new dimension to their life, they will have seen what they can do, they will have come to truly appreciate those things that really are important. And what may look like thousands of stars in the sky will really be the blazing meteor trails left by those who would not be held down and we will be able to build from their ashes as the wind carries away the dust of those who gave up leaving nothing behind.

~~~

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.  I don’t believe in circumstances.  The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.

G.B. Shaw

~~~

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches & pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, though no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friends limited education and never correct him/her,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, or politics,

Then, you are ALMOST as good as your dog..

~~~

She said:

Single women complain that all good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

~~~

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked in her ears and asked, "Do you think I’ll find Big Bird in here?  "The little girl stayed silent.

Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I’ll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little girl was silent.

Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest.  As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I’ll hear Barney in there?"  "Oh, no!" the little girl replied.

"Jesus is in my heart.  Barney’s on my underpants."

~~~

My Wife Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
~~~

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it."

"Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other.

"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way:

‘Take a clean dish…’"

~~~

We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they’re still getting in!

~~~

"THE IMPORTANCE OF CORRECT PUNCTUATION"

Compare these two letters:

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy – will you let me be yours?

      Gloria

 

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

      Gloria

~~~

The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.

~~~

A woman went into her kitchen to find a burglar loaded down with a bunch of stuff he was stealing from her kitchen. Not having any kind of weapon to scare him off, she raised her hand and said "Acts 2:38," and proceeded to quote scripture.

The burglar froze in place and didn’t move. The woman called 911, the police arrived and were amazed to find the burglar still frozen where he stood. "What did you say to him that kept him from moving?" they asked the woman. She told them that she had simply said Acts 2:38 and quoted scripture.

The police chuckled and escorted the burglar out to the patrol car. "Why did the woman’s quoting scripture scare you so much?" they asked.

"Scripture?" said the burglar, "I thought she said she had an ax and two 38’s.

~~~

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove… but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.”

Forest E. Witcraft

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

No…No…No…

“Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.”

 John C. Maxwell quotes

 

 

 

I am beginning to think I am again saying yes too often. My day yesterday ran from 6:30 AM until 9:00 PM. Between meetings and a seminar I was only able to squeeze in a few necessary tasks. And here it is another day and it is more of the same, off at 6:30 for an early meeting with an important friend, on to a class on the ethnic history of my city followed by a full afternoon of backlog removal efforts and then on to the Indiana Council on World Affairs dinner.

Right now I have about 13 opportunities for service in the queue, each of which would only take about 10% of my time. So 130% of my time for the requests and a 110% of my time needed for existing commitments adds up to 240% of my time, I think I may have a problem. So I plan on turning down some marginal things so that I might be able to do some good for the important things. Also I have an evil friend or two that won’t allow me to skip doing something for enjoyment once in awhile and that takes some time as well. I have a hard time convincing them that I enjoy almost everything I do, what I don’t like is when I don’t have time to do things as well as I should.

OK enough of that, I’ll be fine and tomorrow is an easier day so I might even do justice to the daily, but for today it is more from the dusty Daily storeroom.

~~~

Ray’s Daily published February 18, 2003

Forty years ago today Willie Mays signed a one-year $100,000 contract with the San Francisco Giants. He may have been the highest paid player in baseball at the time, he certainly was one of the eras greatest players. Times were different then; we could even afford to go to professional baseball games. The other day our local paper had an article about two sisters in their 70’s that attend our professional basketball games each year, their season tickets cost them $10,000.

As most of you know I have been involved with UNICEF and Kiwanis helping to raise funds to virtually eliminate the world’s leading cause of mental retardation, iodine deficiency. Currently there are about $18 million needed to fund a number of projects that would protect millions of kids from this devastating problem. I wonder about our priorities when we pay an athlete more than it would take to totally meet the global need. Also just think of what we might do with the money we spend in only one day in war preparation.

~~~

So long as little children are allowed to suffer, there is no true love in this world.

Isadora Duncan

~~~

John went to the doctor because he had bulging eyes and a persistent ringing in his ears.

The doctor looked him over and suggested removing his tonsils.

The tonsillectomy resulted in no improvement, so John consulted a dentist who suggested that removing his teeth might eliminate the problem.

All of John’s teeth were extracted but still his eyes bulged out and the annoying ringing in his ears continued.

A third doctor told him bluntly, "You have six months to live."

Feeling doomed and gloomy, John decided to treat himself right while he still had time, so he bought a flashy car, hired a chauffeur and a gardener, and got himself measured by a tailor for some new suits. To go along with the new suits, he decided that even his shirts would be made to order.

"Okay," said the shirt maker, "let’s get your measurements. Hmm, thirty-four sleeve, sixteen collar."

"No, I wear a fifteen collar" John told him.

"Sixteen collar," the shirt maker repeated, measuring again.

"But I’ve always worn a fifteen collar," said John.

"Listen," said the shirt maker, "I’m telling you right now—if you keep on wearing a tight fifteen collar, your eyes will bulge out and you’ll have ringing in your ears."

~~~

"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"

Lily Tomlin

~~~

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

"How did that happen?," gasped her mother.

"It wasn’t easy," admitted the young lady, "but 3 girls helped me catch him."

~~~

Q. What’s a Jewish girl’s idea of natural childbirth?

A. Absolutely no make up.

~~~

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes.

He replied, "It’s easy!" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top.

He told his boss, "I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers." He laid out his chips and dip.

"That’s a very innovative approach," his boss said, as he took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Yuck, this tastes terrible!"

The salesman replied "IT IS? Want to buy a toothbrush?"

~~~

Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

~~~

One day, an young girl is walking through a park when she hears a faint "Help me, help me".

She looks around and follows the quiet voice to a bush near the path. Looking under the bush she spies a little green frog trapped under a log. The girl moves the log and picks up the frog.

"Oh, thank you, thank you" says the frog, "Take me home and put me on your pillow and in the morning I’ll be a handsome Prince."

So the girl takes the frog home and puts him on the pillow and there in the morning is a handsome prince.

You don’t believe that?

Neither did her mother!

~~~

The strongest and sweetest song remains to be sung.

Walt Whitman

~~~

A census taker in rural West Texas went up to a farmhouse and knocked. A woman came to the door, and he proceeded to ask her how many children she had, and their ages.

She said, "Well, lez’ juz’ see now, there’s the twins Sally and Billy, they’re thirty-two, the twins Seth and Beth, they’re twenty-six, and the twins Penny and Jenny, they’re twenty-four … "

"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins EVERY time?"

The woman answered, " Why heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn’t get nothin!"

~~~

"If we did all the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."

Thomas A. Edison

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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