Ray's musings and humor

Archive for March, 2013

Don’t wait until tomorrow

“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”

Angela Monet

 Life is too short

Yesterday I suggested if we let go once in awhile and broke out of our day to day box we often will find the key to more personal satisfaction, fun and growing confidence that we are capable of breaking any chains that may be holding us back. Probably most everyone agrees that discovering new ways to enjoy life is a good thing but at the same time they decide that they will try someday. If you are like I am someday is always sometime in the future which turns out to be a date that never seems to come up. So while I cannot start yesterday I can start today rather than waiting for that elusive tomorrow.

In my experience you don’t have to start with something wild and crazy just something out of the ordinary. Often you will find that the beginning step out will lead to the place where you are able to do things bordering on the extraordinary. Need help? The knowledgeable Angel Hack included these suggestions in one of her recent articles.

5 Things to Start Doing

1.  Start living. Don’t simply exist in this world, grab life’s full potential by the horns and ride it out.  Dare life to be all it can be.  Make it a memorable, gripping account of accomplishment.  Make it a thrilling, challenging, bold adventure.  Make life a passionate, enduring, poetic romance.

Whatever it is you decide to do with your life, LIVE it!  Get going!  Move forward, aim high, plan your takeoff.  Don’t just sit on the runway.  Adjust your attitude and gain some altitude.

2.  Start taking chances that feel right. Life will try to break you sometimes; nothing and no one can completely protect you from it.  Remaining alone in your comfort zone won’t either, for endless, stagnant solitude will also break you with yearning.

You’re human.  You have to love.  You have to feel.  You have to strive.  You are here to risk your heart by putting it into something you believe in.  If you avoid taking these chances, one thing is certain, you will make is safely to death someday, feeling empty and unfulfilled.

3.  Start indulging in meaningful challenges. What a true blessing it is that there is always work to be done.  Because the real value of any accomplishment is not in the end result, it is in the process of accomplishment.

Success is a state of mind, and the most reliable way to reach that state is by working mindfully through a meaningful challenge.  Such a challenge might seem somewhat overwhelming when you first encounter it, yet as you progress through it, you transform the work from overwhelming to fulfilling. 

4.  Start nurturing your real family. Family is built with love; it’s not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and formal adoption documents.  Families grow from the heart, through mutual love and respect.  The only time family becomes nullified is when the ties in the heart are cut.  If you cut the ties, these people are not your family.  If you build the ties, these people are your family.  So build ties with the right people and nurture them with love.

5.  Start making time for YOU. There is objective time meant for focused work, but also subjective time where the pulse of your life breathes – your relationships, your awareness, your hobbies, etc.

So find the time – the time to read, to smell the flowers, to take a walk in the wilderness, to share a laugh, to learn a fun craft, to try a new recipe, to explore somewhere new, to really be with someone you love, to paint your dreams, or even to just do nothing and relax for a while.

Find time for YOU.

~~~

We all possess certain talents and gifts that are unique to only us. You already have everything that you need to start living an extraordinary life. It’s up to you to turn on the switch and let your light shine.

Randa Manning-Johnson

~~~

To make it possible for everyone to attend church on Sunday, we are proposing to have a special ‘No Excuse Sunday.’

1. Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, ‘Sunday is my only day to sleep in.’

2. They will have steel helmets for those who say, ‘The roof will cave in if I ever came to church.’

3. Blankets will be furnished for those who say it is too cold and fans for those who say it is too hot.

4.There will be hearing aids for those who say, ‘The paster speaks too softly,’ and cotton for those who say, ‘He preaches too loudly.’

5 Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.

6. Some relatives will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sunday.

7. There will be TV dinners for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner too.

8. Golf clubs will be available for practice swings for those who like to golf on Sunday.

~~~

Daddy, what does “Formatting Non-removable Disk” mean?

~~~

The Catholic Church’s air conditioning broke down, so they had to hire a man to crawl around in the ducts and figure out what was wrong. As the man peeked down through one of the vents in the sanctuary, he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling by the altar, apparently saying her rosary. Since the man was a fundamental Baptist, he thought it’d be funny to try and mess with the lady’s mind. In his best authoritative voice, he said, “This is Jesus. Your prayers will be answered.”

The little old lady didn’t even blink, just kept on saying her prayers. The man decided maybe she didn’t hear him, and tried again. “This is Jesus, the Son of God! Your prayers will be answered!” Again, she didn’t react at all. Mustering up a big breath of air, the man decided to try again. “THIS IS JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF GOD! YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!” The lady looks up and says, “SHUT UP! I’M TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER!”

~~~

“You can’t control the wind, but you can adjust your sails.”

Yiddish proverb

~~~~~~

My Mother Taught Me…

To Value A Job Well Done — “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

Time Travel — “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

Logic –“Because I said so, that’s why.”

Foresight — “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

Irony — “Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

Osmosis — “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

Stamina — “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

Weather — “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

Hypocrisy — “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

Circle Of Life — “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

Behavior Modification — “Stop acting like your father!”

Envy — “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

Anticipation — “Just wait until we get home.”

Receiving — “You are going to get it when you get home!”

How To Become An Adult — “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

Genetics — “You’re just like your father.”

Wisdom — “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

Justice — “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”

~~~

“If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page.”

Mark Houlahan

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Let Go!

Don’t cheat, if the feelings aren’t there, then you shouldn’t be either.

LetGo

It seems like I have written a lot lately about the value of being yourself and not what someone else wants you to be. I think when we do allow ourselves to be what we want to be and discover that our critics are not really that important we start to build the confidence to forge ahead. In my case it did not mean doing more but in fact doing less. I dropped the unpleasant stuff and now spend my time on what I want to do as well as using the free time for rest and recreation.

The people that count, myself included, seem to be pleased with the reinvigorated me and I have found that those who are not pleased don’t really count anyway.

Author Emily Myrick wrote more than ten years ago about the value of letting go and not wasting too much time on “Why not” and more time on “Go ahead and do it. Here is what she wrote

 

LET YOURSELF GO

For anyone who has ever been unsure

The other day my friend told me to let go…. he told me not to be so worried about what I’m doing, or what I look like, but to just let myself go once in awhile. This really got me thinking. Maybe I should let go. Maybe I should do something crazy, just so I can say I did. I’ve got many long years ahead of me, and plenty of time to live a fun and happy life.

Sometimes, an opportunity only knocks at the door once, and if you don’t answer it at that particular moment, then you’ll never get another chance. Life is tough, and most of the time we spend our days wondering why things go the way they do.

After thinking for awhile I’m finally realizing that maybe thinking about this so much, is wasting the time in which we could be going out and making the days go better. We’re wasting the time we have here on Earth. By attempting to figure out why life goes the way it does, we lose time when we could be having fun, and living our lives to the fullest.

We are only here for a short amount of time. An average of 70-100 years seems long, but it goes faster then we realize. It’s so incredibly important to live every day to it’s fullest potential. When you’re 87 years old and laying on your death bed, do you want to look back and think of things that you wished you had done?

I don’t know about you but I want to look back and remember all the times when I let myself go, and had fun. I want to remember the times when I actually let myself be open to try new things, and open the door to wonderful opportunities.

Life is only wonderful if you leave yourself open to be part of it. Think about it.

~~~

Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.

Daphne Rose Kingma

~~~

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. “Well,” he replied, “the pay is good and the hours aren’t bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.”

~~~

I am more and more convinced that our happiness or unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life, than on the nature of those events themselves.

Humboldt

~~~

A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer. The man asked, “How often do I take these.”

“Let’s start off with once every six hours. But they’re not for you.” replied the doctor. “They’re for your wife.”

~~~

I’ve changed my mind a dozen times.  It seems to work better now.

~~~

Correlation

[a] The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

[b] On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

[c] Conclusion: Eat what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

~~~

“My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, ‘Cough!'”

Henny Youngman

~~~

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 50 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Central high school.

“Yes,” he replied.

“When did you graduate?” I asked.

He answered, “In 1952.”

“Why, you were in my class!” I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely and then asked, “What did you teach?”

~~~

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

~~~

There were two couples who played golf together regularly at their club, and on the sixth hole, a par four, the second shot to the green must carry 80 yards over water. One of the women, Mrs. Nesmith, for over a year, could never carry the water, and would always hit into it, totally psyched out by the presence of the water. Her friend in the group suggested that she might want to see a hynotherapist that could be of help in this situation. So the woman went to a hypnotherapist for four sessions.

During the sessions, the woman was hypnotized and the therapist would “plant suggestions” that when playing the second shot on the sixth hole, she would not see water, but rather a plush green fairway leading all the way up to the green.

Six months pass and a golfer at the club asked “Whatever happened to Mrs. Nesmith? She hasn’t been playing golf at the club for almost four months now.” The golfer was informed that five months earlier, Mrs. Nesmith had drowned at the par four sixth!!!

~~~

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.

Tao Te Ching

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I know you’re special

“Just be yourself, there is no one better.”

Taylor Swift

Be yourself 2

One of the things that I find depressing is how many people I know who do not realize how good they really are. Too many think that what others have is the measurement of personal worth and yet frequently the folks who they think have it so good really don’t. There is truth in the fact that we should count our blessings, recognize them and then mentally enter them into our personal ledger.

Think about it, are not friends and family who hold you in regard worth more than what many have. Do you enjoy a walk in a spring rain where you can see the flowers breaking through to reward us with their beauty? We have food on our plate when way too many others do not. Most of us are mobile and freely move from here to there to do what we have to do and more importantly to do what we want to do.

I wish more knew how much their friendship means to me. How grateful I am for the things they do, especially for others. I really don’t care about their title or their income, what I do regard is their kindness, their smile and most of all the gift of their friendship.

Do you really know and appreciate yourself for what you are; I hope so for you deserve to reward yourself. Ralph Marston wrote about self-reward when our tasks seem to consume us I saved what he wrote for a Daily like todays, I hope you follow his recommendations. Here is what he said:

 

There is much you have already done, and there is much more that remains to be done. Take a little break, and remember how truly fortunate you are.

Yes, your task is difficult and complicated, frustrating at times and tedious at other times. By doing it, however, you are making a difference, and that’s a big part of what life is all about. Give yourself a rest every so often, but don’t give yourself an excuse to give up. Remember why you started in the first place, and recommit yourself to getting it done.

Instead of fighting and striving and struggling to get it done, take a moment to take a deep breath and to smile a genuine smile. Take control of your own attitude, and choose to enjoy the work you’re doing.

Rather than resenting what you must do, celebrate what you have the opportunity to achieve. Reward yourself for your discipline and persistence by feeling truly good about what you’re able to get accomplished.

With every effort, you are creating new value. With every moment, you are moving closer to the goal, and rewarding yourself along the way.

~~~

Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough. Good enough. Successful enough. Thin enough. Rich enough. Socially responsible enough. When you have self-respect, you have enough.

Gail Sheehy

~~~

The Rosenthals had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage, and Mr. Rosenthal was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable situation. “It’s simple,” he said. “Division of labor. My wife makes all the small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, where we go on vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should change my job, and so on.”

“And you?”

“I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if the United States should declare war on China, if Congress should appropriate money for a manned expedition to Mars, and so on.”

~~~

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

~~~

My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other.  Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son.  Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, “You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back.”

With that, my neighbor said, “Well, it’s not even my ladder. It’s my dad’s.”

~~~

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

~~~

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses’ lounge saying:

“Remember, the first five minutes of a human being’s life are the most dangerous.”

Underneath, a nurse had written:

“The last five are pretty risky, too.”

~~~

Do not make an obscene gesture at anyone driving a pickup truck with a gun rack.

~~~

The judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement from one which he had previously made to the police. For example, he said, when I entered my chambers today, I was sure I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom.

When the judge returned home, his wife asked him, Why so much urgency for your watch? Isnt sending three men to get it a bit extreme?

What? said the judge, I didn’t send anyone for my watch, let alone three people; what did you do?

I gave it to the first one, said the wife. He knew exactly where it was.

~~~

Monotony is the awful reward of the careful.

A. G. Buckham

~~~

While recently riding on the bus standing up, a friend of mine grabbed onto the pole nearest her to keep herself steady while the bus traveled down the road. She soon noticed a young man, who was also hanging on to the same pole, staring at her. Although this was somewhat annoying, she decided to just look the other way. Soon the bus came to a stop. Clearing his throat, the young man said, “Excuse me. This is my stop.”

Since she wasn’t blocking his way, my friend was slightly confused. “Well,” she said, “go ahead.”

“And this is my pole,” the young man said.

My friend was completely perplexed until the young man added, “I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain.”

~~~

The reward of a thing well done is having done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Give me the simple life

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Leonardo DaVinci

the-simple-life

Last weekend I accompanied my oldest daughter and her husband to visit the town in rural Indiana where his parents live. The highlight of the day was going with his family to see a musical at a local theatre where they put on plays and other entertainments the year around. There is a small store attached where they sell various unique items. The performances are held in a large dining room where folks sit at long tables. Before the show began they served a real country meal that included swiss steak and fried chicken along with mashed potatoes and peach cobbler. The place is rustic but well maintained and has all the lighting and production needs required to present their shows.

As I watched the performance I first thought that while they were doing a pretty good job they were not going to win any awards or make big money. But then I realized that I was watching six people who were doing exactly what they wanted to do and who were truly enjoying the life they had chosen. All of a sudden the show had a magical quality generated by the joy being felt by the performers. Instead of being critical I felt the warmth they were generating and knew then that many of the people I know will never have what these good people have, a life that fills them with happiness.

I discovered that there is still so much to be offered in rural Indiana, all I needed to do was to be willing to go and then appreciate what I found. In some respects I am like them since I enjoy my life so much. I hope you do as well. I am again going to share some good life tips from Marc hack that I value I hope you will too.

 

Slow Down – Urgency and haste instantly diminish accuracy, awareness and happiness.  There is a big difference between getting things done and getting things done effectively.

Appreciate Life’s Simple Pleasures – The best things in life are free.  From a quiet lakeside sunset to sleeping in on a rainy day, life’s greatest simple pleasures can only be purchased with mindful awareness.

endeavors.

Travel to Distant Places – There are places in this world that will open your mind to realities you’ve never imagined in your wildest dreams.  These realities will inject your conscience with healthy, new perspectives.

Leave Time for Spontaneous Excursions – Opportunity sometimes knocks at unexpected times.  Make sure you have enough flexibility in your schedule to respond accordingly.

Forget Perfection, Find Satisfaction – Perfect is the enemy of good.  The idea of perfection is based primarily on personal opinion, circumstance and flexibility.  Instead of searching for perfection, find something that satisfies your needs.

Laugh – Some of the most memorable moments in your life will be moments spent in laughter.

Be Here Now – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  Don’t miss it.

~~~

Maybe a person’s time would be as well spent raising food as raising money to buy food.

Frank A. Clark

~~~

A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. “The secret,” she said, “is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.”

The boy looked at her quizzically…”Why does it have to be a secret?”

~~~

I thought I had found the perfect date in the Personals when she said she liked country music, but what she failed to say was her country was Albania.

Lawrence

~~~

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, “How old was your husband?”

“98,” she replied. “Two years older than me.”

“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.

She responded, “Hardly worth going home is it?”

~~~

There is an ancient Jewish proverb that says that “A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she’ll never forget what she forgave.”

~~~

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she told her mate.

“Eve, honey, you’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You know you’re the only woman on earth.”

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in the chest. It was his darling Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded.

“Counting your ribs,” said Eve.

~~~

Doctor to patient:  I have good news and bad news.  The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~~~

We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start a baby boomer from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. “Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”

By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?”

“No!!” she said in a loud whisper, “The TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car.”

~~~

These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m here after.

~~~

A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor’s office. Within minutes, she came out again but miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.

A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement; “My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?”

The old lady replied, “He gave me a longer cane!”

~~~

Each day, awakening, are we asked to paint the sky blue? Need we coax the sun to rise or flowers to bloom? Need we teach birds to sing, or children to laugh, or lovers to kiss? No, though we think the world imperfect, it surrounds us each day with its perfections. We are asked only to appreciate them, and to show appreciation by living in peaceful harmony amidst them. The Creator does not ask that we create a perfect world; He asks that we celebrate it.

Robert Braul

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Wisdom from my friend Tim

And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had more of a tendency to look for people who live by kindness, tolerance, compassion, a gentler way of looking at things.

Martin Scorsese

 forgiveness

One of the best things in my life is the people I know and what they share with me. One of my friends who I hold in the highest regard is Tim Nation who directs a center that provides a wide range of valuable services to the people of my city and my state. Today I want to share something he wrote in his most recent newsletter for it is a message many of us can use.

Spring Cleaning – Letting Go of Our Past Ways

Let go of what drags us down. It is time to let go of stereotypes about others.  Sounds simple but it’s not. 

A few years back while I was visiting a youth forum organized by the city council in South Bend, a teenager addressed the audience telling everyone he was tired of being feared for being black.  He said when he approaches intersections where cars are stopped at red lights, he hears people pressing their electronic car locks – click, click, click.  What was the audience’s response?  Laughter.

How many times can we watch television news, movies and read newspaper articles that leave an impression there are only two sides of each story – good and bad people – right and wrong ways?

How do we address these issues at Peace Learning Center? We say, “Attack the problem not the person.” and “If it is to be it is up to me.” – these ten two letter words can make all the difference.  “No one makes you feel or do things – the only things controlled by you are what you say and what you do.”

And in deeper ways, we help people explore their own perspectives through exercises such as “perceptions based on partial knowledge” and a “speak out” session where we hear from people in groups that are frequently oppressed to learn how to be an ally to those who are being bullied or left out.

Recently, while attending a workshop at the Center for Interfaith Cooperation, I heard from Eva Kohr – a survivor of Auschwitz and the Holocaust as well as Kizito Kalima – a survivor of the genocide in Rwanda.

Both of these incredible people told similar stories about a will to live despite facing their own deaths – a refusal to let others dictate their fate.  They were targeted by those who labeled them as “the other” unworthy to even live.

What is their response now that they can look back on the situation and know they are now free?

Forgiveness and its power to heal were gifts they gave themselves and others.  This is not just a general pardoning of a situation; they actually forgave those who took away their parents, siblings, family and friends. Eva Kohr made sure we all understand that tolerance is not good enough – no one wants to be just tolerated, they want to be accepted. 

Kizito Kalima now raises funds to send books to the children of the tribe that attacked his people.  He stamps the inside cover of each book to let the reader know the book was donated by the Kalima family, in hopes of making peace and understanding.  Kizito remembers that just before the genocide, all the local religious leaders ordered everyone to bring their books – especially holy books – to a book burning.  By taking knowledge away, leaders were in a better position not to be questioned.

We fear what we do not know.  We owe it to ourselves and our children to get out there and learn more.  Spring cleaning means letting go of past ways that drag us down and making sure everyone has a right to the American dream of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

If you would like to know more about my Friend Tim and what he does go to http://www.peacelearningcenter.org/about_us1

~~~

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Louis B. Smedes

~~~

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me!”

“Come on God, give me a break!!” the man pleaded. “Two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster either!”

~~~

Restaurant sign on Main Street, Camden, Maine:  Come on in. The locals will enjoy your accent.”

~~~

Bernie took his wife Sadie to see a psychiatrist for a check up. After examining her, the doctor took Bernie to one side and said, “I have some very bad news for you. There is nothing I can do to help your wife. Her mind has completely gone.”

“I’m not really surprised,” Bernie replied, “Sadie’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 50 years.”

~~~

Henny Youngman remarked once that, in his will, he is leaving his body to Julia Roberts. “If she can’t wait, she can have it now,” he added.

~~~

A minister ended services on Sunday morning the previous week by saying to the congregation, “next Sunday I am going to preach on the subject of liars. And to familiarize yourselves with this subject, as a preparation for my discourse, I would appreciate it if you all could find time to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark during the week.”

Last Sunday, the preacher rose to begin, and said, “Now, then, all of you who have done as I requested and read the seventeenth chapter of Mark, please raise your hands.” Nearly every hand in the congregation went up. Then, said the preacher, “You are definitely the people I want to talk to. Because there is no seventeenth chapter of Mark.”

~~~

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

The guy gets his girl back. He gets his pickup back. He stops drinking!

~~~

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.

“Bloomingdales!” the rabbi exclaimed. “Why Bloomingdales?”

“Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.”

~~~

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

Mother Teresa

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I hope your day is as good as mine

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

enjoy-life

It was a busy day yesterday. I talked to some neat people about how Kiwanis Club membership could contribute to their wellbeing through building friendships, learning more about our community and the rewards that comes from service to others.

Late I attended a Salvation Army appreciation luncheon where I again learned of the significant contributions folks are making to our community by the volunteer work they are doing through the Salvation Army. I have been attending these get-togethers for a number of years now and always enjoy them since I get to visit with so many people I really like, not just the Army’s staff but also the friends I have made while working together as volunteers.

I truly feel sorry for so many of my generation who have chosen to withdraw from society as they have aged for they are missing so much. My life has never been fuller or better. I am learning new things motivated by my curiosity versus necessity. I am teaming with some great people in the organizations I am allowed to serve. My only regret is the fact I waited so long to start to really live outside of a world bounded by job and family duty. If I had it to do over again I would have reset my priorities and made sure I allocated time for personal growth and enjoyment.

Here is something I took from the Change Blog I like, I wish I would have heeded the advice years ago.

 

How To Enjoy Life Every Day

The “Every Day Mindset” is a simple, yet extremely powerful, way in which to live your life. What is this mindset? Put simply, it is a mindset that remembers that this day you are currently living will only ever happen once, and it therefore encourages you to make the most of it.

It is not about recklessly living life as if there is no tomorrow. The future is important to plan for, but it is important not to obsess about it to the extent that you neglect the present. Remember, the only way to get to the future is through a series of todays. Since this Every Day Mindset has changed my life, I would like to share with you specific ways in which I apply it:

Enjoy Every Day

I choose to enjoy every day. I wake up early at 5am because I am excited about the day ahead, and throughout the day I try to maintain a positive attitude. Yes, sometimes “shit happens” and I don’t have a good day. But I figure if I at least try to have fun and be happy there is a good chance I will enjoy myself.

What I am particularly interested in is ways to enjoy my time at work. Most people know how to enjoy their leisure time, but many people struggle to imagine being happy at work. If this is you, here are a few quick tips:

Do what you love: this should be your ultimate career goal. I know it’s easier said than done, but just remember it is possible.

Make friends with your co-workers: in so many ways, it is our relationships with people that give us the most happiness in life. So take the time and effort to become friends with the people you work with.

Take pride in your work: even if you aren’t saving lives, chances are you are contributing in some positive way to society. Take pride in your work and you are sure to feel better about yourself.

Stop waiting: stop waiting for something to occur before you are happy. Because guess what? Chances are that a better title, more money, a car buy, or that nice corner office with the great view will not make a significant and lasting difference to your level of happiness.

~~~

“In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”

Gordon B. Hinckley

~~~

Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop.

“I operated on Mr. Lee the other day,” said the surgeon.

“What for?” asked his colleague.

“About $17,000.”

“What did he have?”

“Oh… About $17,000.”

~~~

A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

~~~

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.  Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying A dollar per point.” The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

~~~

A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

~~~

During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up.

The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn’t know what to do.

His congregation suggested that he consult a homebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple.  The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was.

So he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation. The one whose followers stood during prayer said to the old man, “Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?”

The old man answered, “No, that is not the tradition.”

The one whose followers sat asked, “Is the tradition to sit during prayer?”

The old man answered, “No, that is not the tradition.”

Then the rabbi said to the old man, “The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand!”

The old man interrupted, exclaiming, “THAT is our tradition!”

~~~

The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.

Herbert V. Prochnow

~~~

Laws Of Slow People

1. Slow people always walk side by side, even if they don’t know each other.

2. They drive side by side, too. If they can’t find another slow driver to pair up with, they drive in the fast lane.

3. Slow walkers never look back. When they drive, they never look in their rearview mirrors, either.

4. Slow people drift sideways so they’ll block the path of anyone trying to pass them. If two people or vehicles are trying to get around them at the same time, they drift into the path of the one that is moving at the highest speed.

5. Follow behind a slow person in the grocery store and you’ll wind up with soggy ice cream every time.

~~~

“Today, just take time to smell the roses, enjoy those little things about your life, your family, spouse, friends, job. Forget about the thorns -the pains and problems they cause you – and enjoy life”

Bernard Kelvin Clive

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Today would be a good day to start

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

Tony Robbins

 change-picture-quote

I recently got a mailing from Marc Hack where he said “Take control of your destiny.  Believe in yourself.  Ignore those who try to discourage you.  Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits.  Don’t give up and don’t give in.  Your life isn’t behind you; your memories are behind you.  Your life is always right here, right now.  Seize it!  Choose to let each of your experiences today be a gateway to an even brighter tomorrow. Start doing these things now and never stop.”

I could not agree more, every day we waste staying where we are is a day we will never get back. If we are to free ourselves to be what we would like to be we need to take the first steps towards being our true selves. Here in part are words of wisdom Hack added to help us get started.

Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.  Be a defender of honesty and truth so that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.  Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the achievements and lessons of today.  Give so much time to your own self improvement that you have no time to criticize others.  Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism part of your religion.  Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is you.

Walk comfortably in your own shoes.  If you don’t follow the path others want you to follow they might become irritated.  Don’t worry about it.  Let them be.  It’s their problem, not yours.  Remember that it is more useful to be aware of a single strength or weakness in yourself than to be aware of a thousand strengths and weaknesses in others.

Embrace your difficulties.  After each difficulty you faced in the past was overcome, you became stronger and more able to meet the ones you face today.  Likewise, the difficulties you face today are preparing you for the challenges of tomorrow.  As this process of growth takes place remember that there are no mistakes.

Focus on the controllable.  If you’re feeling miserable and highly stressed, there’s a good chance you have developed an unhealthy attachment to things you have no control over.  The first step is to let go of these things – release the stress.  You were never really in control of them anyway.

Maintain full accountability for every aspect of your life.  When you think problems you have are someone else’s fault, you will solve none of them in your lifetime.  Do not allow yourself to be limited by your beliefs.  In the end you will achieve what your mind believes.  If you’re not learning and improving yourself by taking responsibility for everything you have in your life, then your dreams and desires will stay fantasies.

Give it all you’ve got.  You get what you put in.  The amount of effort you give determines the amount of joy you receive.  If your life doesn’t please you, do something about it.  Take action, change things.  Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask.  If you can, fly.  But if you can’t fly, run.  If you can’t run, walk.  If you can’t walk, crawl.  No matter how you do it, move forward.

Prune nonessential commitments.  The mark of a successful person is the ability to set aside the ‘somewhat important’ things in order to accomplish the vital ones first.

Hold on to your humility.  All self-misery has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in taking life too seriously.  If you take everything too seriously, especially yourself, you’ll wind up fearing every new step you take.  Loosen up and laugh it off if you can – especially when things don’t go as planned.

Evolve.  To be sincerely loyal to yourself is to allow yourself the freedom to grow, change and challenge who you ARE and what you THINK at any given moment in time.  The only thing you ever are for sure is unsure, and this means you’re growing and not stagnant or imprisoned by old ways of thinking.

~~~

“You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

A.A. Milne

~~~

Old Mrs. Cohen sidled up to a guest at one of her daughter’s social evenings. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said, “Doctor, may I ask a question?”

“Certainly,” he said.

“Lately,” said Mrs. Cohen, “I have been having a funny pain right here under the heart–”

The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Cohen, but the truth is, I’m a doctor of philosophy.”

“Oh,” said Mrs. Cohen, “I’m sorry!” She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back.

“Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?”

~~~

BEING OVER THE HILL IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN BEING UNDER IT.

~~~

Abe is in New York on business. On his third night, he goes back to his hotel room feeling quite miserable. Although the trip’s going well, business-wise, he’s feeling very lonely – he’s missing his wife Sarah. He casually picks up the Gideon bible from his bedside table and opens it. On the first page, he reads: –

“If you’re sick, read Psalm 18.”

“If you’re troubled, read Psalm 45.”

“If you’re lonely, read Psalm 92.”

That’s it! He stops there, immediately turns to Psalm 92 and starts to read. How surprised he is, then, when he gets to the end of the Psalm, to see someone has written: – “If you’re still lonely, why don’t you call Monique 212-755-1234.”

~~~

She said: MY HUSBAND AND I DIVORCED OVER RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES. HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOD AND I DIDN’T.

~~~

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter –haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

~~~

“I’m trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.”

Jim Loy

~~~

A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires.

After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enough and said, “My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother?”

~~~

“Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you… yet, someone survived… You can do anything you choose to do.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

If you want to be happy listen to Erma

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.

Erasmus

choose to be happy

My recent visit to North Carolina as you know was somewhat devastating since my super sister-in-law died while I was there. Fortunately most of her immediate family lived close by so they provided support as did some of their truly special friends.

As it often happens when we lose someone close we spent much of our time reminiscing about their life and the really good times we shared. I was pleased that we were able to celebrate the life she had while not limiting ourselves to mourning her death. The moments also were used by many for personal introspection; a review if you will of our lives as they are now and what we might do make sure we take advantage of the years we have left. The issue always is one of knowing yourself and then having the courage to take the steps that can lead to a better life.

Each of us carries burdens from our past that can bog us down if we let them. In my experience the faster we release ourselves from our past and any ties that bind us to the status quo the faster we can begin a happier life.

I am sure I shared with many of you some time ago a piece written by Erma Bombeck. She wrote it near the end of her life and it holds many of the keys to a happier life..

 

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER –

  • I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
  • I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
  • I would have talked less and listened more.
  • I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained or the sofa faded.
  • I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
  • I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
  • I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
  • I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
  • I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
  • I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
  • Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
  • When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”
  • There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”
  • But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it , live it and never give it back.

The good news is that we all have time to follow her advice, I know if we do we will be better for doing so.

~~~

Lead the life that will make you kindly and friendly to everyone about you, and you will be surprised what a happy life you will lead.

Charles M. Schwab

~~~

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. “Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before next flight.

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid. (S) #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit (S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear (S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud (S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield (S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent (S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick (S) That’s what they’re there for

(P) Number three engine missing (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, “fly right.” and be serious.

(P) Target Radar hums (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words

~~~

You’re never too old to become younger.

MAE WEST

~~~

A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items.  She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.

“Excuse me,” she said, “I’m in a hurry.  Could you check me out, please?”

The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, “Ummmm, Not bad.”

~~~

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

~~~

A couple is celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary and goes down to their old school. There, in a corner, they hold hands as they find their old desk where he had carved, “I love you, Sally.”

On the way home, a bag of money falls out of an armored car in front of them. She picks it up and counts $50,000.

The husband says, “We’ve got to give it back.”

She says, “Finders keepers.” And when they get home she hides it in the attic.

The next day, two FBI men show up at their home. They ask, “Pardon me, did anyone in this house find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

She says, “No.”

The husband says, “My wife is lying. She took the money and hid it in the attic.”

She says, “Don’t believe him, he’s a bit senile.”

So they sit the man down and begin to question him. One FBI guy says, “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

The old man says, “Well, my wife and I were on our way home from school…”

The FBI guy looks at his partner and says,  “Let’s get out of here.”

~~~

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be.

John Homer Miller

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I’m having fun, are you?

“Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.”

Robert Browning

happy aging

Yesterday one of my favorite in-laws sent me a piece suggesting that I don’t wait to enjoy aging. She actually was singing to the choir as as each year has gone by my life has gotten better. There is real joy in letting go and not worrying about what others think and discovering the fun that comes from finding new things to do. Way to many of us put off enjoying life until that elusive someday and sadly find that they waited too long and the day never came. Recently author Chris Mautner wrote a piece on how to age gracefully that hit home for me since it advocates things that really have worked for me. Here in part is what he said:

 

How to age gracefully: Don’t be afraid of growing older

Is it about cheerfully accepting growing older and the changes that come with it? Or is it about trying to stay as youthful as possible — physically and mentally — regardless of the consequences? Or is it just about feeling good and staying as healthy as possible?

“There’s normal aging and then there is successful aging,” said Dr. Noel Ballentine of Penn State Hershey Internal Medicine. “Successful aging is being vibrant well into your 80s. It’s not only possible but it’s common.”

Here are some ways to do that:

Keep active physically. We’re not saying you should run a mile every day, but some form of physical exercise is always a good idea regardless of your age.

Keep your mind active. Read. Do crossword puzzles. Your brain needs as much exercise as your body.

Eat right. A poor diet can lead to such problems as diabetes, obesity and joint issues.

Be proactive. Plan for the future. Think about where you are going to be in 10 years and what you want to do. “A lot of people get to the point where retirement hits and are not sure what’s next,” said Matthew Gallardo, a life coach for Messiah Lifeways in Mechanicsburg.

Ask yourself tough questions about what you are going to do with your time. What are the things you want to accomplish or enjoy when you were younger but didn’t have the time to do? Do you have enough money to live as you’d like to? Do you want to stay in your current home or move to a retirement community? What are the things you thought of doing but didn’t have the chance to?

Get involved. Staying active in your community is a good way to keep your mind sharp. Volunteer. Go back to school or look into trying a second career.

Anticipate your health-care needs. Have a plan in place so that if you or a loved one becomes ill you know what to do.

Maintain a positive attitude. There are benefits that come with growing older, such as having a better understanding of yourself and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

Don’t fight getting older. The only way to live a long life is to get older, and if you ignore encroaching age, you’re going to have difficulty adjusting to it.

~~~

Aging can be fun if you lay back and enjoy it.

Clint Eastwood

~~~

Henny Youngman the king of the one-liners said:

a.. A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

b.. The patient says “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.” “Then don’t do that!”

c.. The doctor says to the patient, “Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window”. “What will that do” asks the patient. The doctor says “I’m mad at my neighbor!”

d.. A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man’s chest. The man asks “Doc, how do I stand?” The doctor says “That’s what puzzles me!”

e.. “Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?” The doctor says “Limp!”

f.. Doctor says to a man “You’re pregnant!” The man says “How does a man get pregnant?” The doctor says “The usual way, a little wine, a little dinner….”

g.. “Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.” “Don’t answer!”

h.. Nurse: “Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office”. Doctor: “Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.”

~~~

Always aim for achievement and forget about success.

Helen Hayes

~~~

Subject: : THE THREE GOSPEL TRUTHS

1)  Jews do not recognize Jesus Christ as the Messiah.

2)  Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

3)  Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.

~~~

Have you noticed how toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.

~~~

A guest at dinner noticed the small family dog looking hungrily at every bite she took. Finally she took a small piece of meat from her plate and held it up for him.

“Speak!” she said to the dog.

The dog says, “Under the circumstances, I hardly know what to say!”

~~~

“Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.”

Zig Ziglar

~~~

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: George!

~~~

When someone tells you that what he’s about to say is “for your own good,” expect the worst.

~~~

Little Johnny returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, “Mum, what’s sex?”

His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.

When she had finished, Little Johnny produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, “Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?”

~~~

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

~~~

A young man, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby grave. The young man walked up to the Chinese man and asked, “When do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?” The old Chinese man replied with a smile, “Same time your friend comes up to smell the flowers.”

~~~

“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Farewell Dear Friend

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.”

A headstone in Ireland

sailaway

Sorry for the week absence, my wife and I flew to Charlotte for a few days to spend time with my sister-in-law who has had some serious health problems over the past few years. We arrived midday and Miriam, my sister-in-law who had pretty much lost her sight seemed to really enjoy the time spent with us and two other sisters as we reminisced about the old days, she even laughed a few times. Later we went to dinner with her husband and her children and enjoyed being together even if just for a little while. We went home and after she went to bed she had a seizure and lost conciseness. She was rushed to the hospital and never woke; she ended up passing away very early the next morning surrounded by family and friends.

This was really difficult for me as she was more than a sister-in-law to me for we had known each other for sixty years, she was the sister I never had and also one of my best friends. We laughed together often and even cried together on occasion. We were cruise mates many times over the years sailing both in the Americas and Europe.

I spent most of the time since her death with my brother-in-law doing what I could to ease his pain. While she had suffered way too much recently and now is at peace her loss is devastating for him. I shared with the attendees at her funeral that she would always live forever in my mind as while she is no longer with us I have 60 years of great memories to fall back on. I am truly grateful for all those years we had togehter.

A fellow cruiser and my good friend sent me a note for her that I repeated at the funeral. He wrote “Bon voyage Dear Miriam as you embark on your final cruise to heaven. Please wait for us for by the grace of god we will be joining you sometime in the future.”

Now I am back home adjusting to a world that no longer includes my dear friend. She would not be happy if today’s daily was filled with sadness so I will try to add a little humor in her memory.

~~~

May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.  May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields.  And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

Irish Blessing

~~~

Do you know how many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

a.. Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

b.. Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

c.. Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

d.. Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

e.. Baptists: At least fifteen. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

f.. Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

g.. Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

h.. Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including candescent, fluorescent, three- way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

i.. Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

j.. Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

k.. Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

l.. Amish: What’s a light bulb?

~~~

“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day just exactly fits in the newspaper.”

Jerry Seinfield

~~~

When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old son, Billy, was utterly amazed, and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his mom’s tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she asked Billy to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby kick. But when he did, the baby was suddenly still.

“Oh, Billy, she must have decided to take a nap,” shrugged Mary.

“A nap?” Billy marveled. “You mean there’s a bed in there too?”

~~~

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”

Walter Bagehot

~~~

TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile”?

JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong

JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

~~~

Ask me about my vow of silence.

~~~

Three couples–one elderly, one middle-aged and one newlywed–wanted to join a church. The priest said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples all agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, “Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The old man replied, “No problem at all, Father.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the priest.

The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The middle-aged man replied, “The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights, but, yep, we made it.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church,” said the priest.

The priest then went to the newlywed couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

“No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man replied sadly.

“What happened?” inquired the priest.

“My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it,” said the young man. “When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,” stated the priest.

“We know,” said the young man. “We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either.”

~~~

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

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