Ray's musings and humor

Archive for March, 2011

Aren’t we fortunate!

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Frederick Keonig

 

 

 

I told someone this morning that I regretted not placing as much value on a friendship when I had it as I did once I lost it. It reminded me again how often I take the things that add meaning to my day-to-day life for granted. When I think about it, it is not the highlights that make my life as good as it is; it is all the things that I have that don’t create stress or pain. It is the recliner in the den where I relax and watch television, it is the warm greeting of a friend at my Thursday morning Kiwanis meeting and it is reading on Facebook the thoughts of one of my grandchildren. It is more, it is the movie theatre where I often drop out on a Friday morning for a few hours, it is the directors of the organizations who provide me the opportunity to do something for someone else, and it is the venues that provide me a place to learn. I often don’t even give thanks for those things that have meaning in my life for I am truly fortunate to be able to spend a lifetime with a wife who is willing to forgive my foibles and to have children near who allow me to take pleasure in their successes. You know, when I add up all I have I find that I am truly wealthy, I may not have a lot of money but I have something better, a full life with plenty left to see and plenty left to do. And oh yes I have all of you.

Here is an edited article written by author Mike Robbins that I think is worth your consideration.

Want What You Have

How much of what you have in your life do you truly want (i.e. desire and choose)? How much time and energy do you spend wishing things were different, or that you had a little more of this and a little less of that?

While the circumstances of our lives – both “positive” and “negative” – do have an impact on us, the truth is that we always have a choice about how we relate to our circumstances and to ourselves in the process. A great job, big house, large amount of money, fit body, incredible relationship, or anything else we say we want, can’t and won’t make us happy if we don’t choose to be.

Wanting what we have doesn’t mean everything is “perfect” in our lives, which is almost never the case, or that we can’t desire for things to change or evolve in a way we deem positive. It simply means we choose to accept what we have in our life, right now, with a sense of gratitude and surrender. Surrendering is not about complacency, weakness, or giving up – it’s about learning to make peace with life as it is. It’s important for us to remember that the passion, joy, and fulfillment we experience doesn’t come from life itself, it comes from us and our ability to accept, appreciate, and celebrate what we have in our lives.

Here are some great questions to ask yourself when dealing with some of the most difficult and challenging aspects of your life (i.e. the stuff you say you don’t want):

What good is here that I’m currently not seeing?

What is this situation teaching me that I’m grateful for?

Why is this happening for (not to) me?

What would it look like if I surrendered to this instead of fighting against it?

What aspect of myself can I appreciate more deeply as a way of loosening the grip of this issue in my life?

By asking and answering these questions (and others like it), you’ll give yourself an opportunity to look more deeply at some of the challenges in your life, realize that these things are here to instigate growth and expansion, and remind you that you have the ability to choose them consciously – which can take away much of the suffering you may currently experience.

By putting more of our attention on wanting what we already have, and less attention on fixing things or wanting what we don’t yet have, we can create a deep sense of peace and joy in our lives, our work, and our relationships, which, more than most specific outcomes or material possessions, is what most of us truly want anyway.

~~~

“One of the greatest titles we can have is “old friend”. We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older. The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young. We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age when a busy life and changing geographies can cause us to neglect those friends. Today is the day to invest in those people we hope will call us ‘old friend” in the years to come.”

Grant Fairley

~~~

Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, “Did you see that?”

“No,” Darryl replies.

“Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead.”

“Oh,” responded Darryl.

A couple of minutes later, Tom said, “Did you see that?”

“See what?”

“Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.”

“Oh.”

A few minutes later Tom again said, “Did you see that?”

By now, Darryl is getting aggravated, so he says, “Yes, I did!”

And Tom says: “Then why did you step in it?”

~~~

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologize” and “You are right.”

~~~

He said: On my four-year-old daughter’s first trip to Disneyland, she couldn’t wait to get on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.  As the car zoomed through the crazy rooms, into the path of a speeding train, and through walls that fell away at the last second, she clutched the little steering wheel in front of her.

When the ride was over, she said to me a little shakily, “Next time, you drive.  I didn’t know where I was going.”

~~~

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

~~~

A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again. He then said, “Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying: ‘Many hands make light work.”

~~~

A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities; an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.

Reginald B. Mansell

~~~

Visiting St Patrick’s Cathedral on a tour of New York City, my daughter and her children were awed by the sight. The kids were especially curious about the votive candles, so my daughter asked if they’d each like to light one. She explained that is it customary to say a prayer of petition or thanks, and she was careful to tell them that these are not like birthday candles.

“Do you have any questions?” she asked.

“No,” said the five-year-old, “but if there’s a pony outside, it’s mine.”

~~~

“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.” Steven Wright

~~~

Mrs. Smith pulled Mrs. Jones out of earshot of the porch, where Mrs. Jones’ lovely young daughter, Linda, sat. “It is really none of my business,” whispered Mrs. Smith, “but have you noticed what your daughter is doing?”

“Why, no. Is she up to anything special?”

Mrs. Smith leaned closer. “Haven’t you noticed? She has started knitting tiny garments!”

Mrs. Jones’ troubled brow cleared. “Well, thank goodness,” she said smiling, “at last she has taken an interest in something besides running around with boys.”

~~~

“Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.”

~~~ 

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

 

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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Share your heart

You will be happier if you will give people a bit of your heart rather than a piece of your mind.

Author unknown

 

Please bear with me once more. It has been a busy and somewhat tough couple of days and I have a few things that are going to eat up my day so I am again going to use a Ray’s Daily reprint. I hope to get my act back together tomorrow and begin with a current Daily, meanwhile have a great day and remember to smile often.

Ray

 

Ray’s Daily first published March 30, 2004

 

Today let’s all:

Smile at a stranger,

Listen to someone’s heart,

Drop a coin where a child can find it,

Tell someone we’re thinking of them,

Hug a loved one,

Not hold a grudge,

Not be afraid to say “I’m sorry,”

Look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are,

Look beyond the face of a person into their heart,

Make a promise and keep it,

Smell the rain,

Feel the breeze,

Listen to the wind,

Enjoy the sun,

Let’s use all our senses to their fullest, and cherish all our today’s,

since tomorrow will be another today.

~~~

You better live your best and act your best and think your best today, for today is the sure preparation for tomorrow and all the other tomorrows that follow.

Harriet Martineau

~~~

If you’re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he’s the famous scientist who once said: “I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen…and replaced by exact duplicates.” His mind sees things differently than we do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems:

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Half the people you know are below average.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

What happens if you get scared half to death ….. twice?

My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

~~~

Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. “Doctor,” he said, “I need you to cut off my dog’s tail.”

The vet stepped back, “Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?”

“Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”

~~~

We lived in Minnesota in the late 60’s, we were a lot hardier then. We had to be, and here is why:

    a.. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through l8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Minnesota.

    b.. If you’re proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Minnesota.

    c.. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Minnesota.

    d.. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in Minnesota.

    e.. If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk, you might live in Minnesota.

    f.. If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Minnesota.

    g.. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Minnesota.

    h.. If you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee, you might live in Minnesota.

    i.. If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing gently, “From the land of sky-blue waters, …. you might live in Minnesota……

~~~

Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

~~~

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him.

“Well,” Bubba began, “We wuz havin’ a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, “Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?”

“And then what happened?” the officer interrupted.

“From what I remember,” Bubba said, “I stood up and said, “Sure, I’m game.”

~~~

Complaints? Write them here legibly []

~~~

A guy had been isolated on an island in the South Pacific for 10 years.

He lit a signal every night for 10 years but no one saw it and no one came to rescue him. Finally a passing boat did notice the signal and sent an officer and men in a small boat to investigate.

The castaway explained that he had been on this island for 10 years waiting to be rescued.

The boat captain ask “If you are all alone, what are those three huts I see built in the lagoon?

He answered “The first hut is my home. The second hut is where I go to church. And the third hut is where I went to church before I got mad and changed churches …”

~~~

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

~~~

When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. “Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?” she asked.

Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, “I’ll take them.”

Relieved, I started to to ring her up, until she interrupted me. “Can I have another pack? This one’s been opened.”

~~~

You are today where your thoughts have brought you;

you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.

James Lane Allen

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Goodbye old friend

To live in hearts we leave behind

Is not to die.

Thomas Campbell,

 

My good friend Peter Johnson passed away yesterday. While I knew his death was eminent I was unprepared for the great feeling of loss that I have felt since learning of his passing. He had been ill for sometime and his death was a final blessing. We had not seen each other as often as we had in the past but I knew he was here and looked forward to our next encounter. 

Peter was special to me in many ways, we had worked together, volunteered together, lunched together and just shared time together. He was my dinner partner at Council on World Affairs meetings and often joined me at similar events. We did not need an agenda when we met we just enjoyed sharing our thoughts and concerns. Our community also owes Peter a debt of gratitude for all he gave to the Business and Professional Exchange which has over the years served thousands of executives and professionals who needed help finding employment. He was with us when we founded the organization twenty years ago and stuck with it after the rest of us drifted away in other pursuits.

I am fortunate to have many friends and even more acquaintances but only a few who are always there to share a thought, visit a new restaurant or join me in a learning experience. I told some folks yesterday that Peter provided many gifts to others and many to me and I will always be grateful for our paths crossing so many years ago. The loss is great and the memories strong, he will live on for me and I will probably still occasionally share a thought with him in the hope that he still cares enough to listen.

 

I like to think that the following poem would express Peters wishes for all of us who knew him and cared about him

 

Look for me in Rainbows

 

Time for me to go now, I won’t say goodbye;

Look for me in rainbows, way up in the sky.

In the morning sunrise when all the world is new,

Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.

 

Time for me to leave you, I won’t say goodbye;

Look for me in rainbows, high up in the sky.

In the evening sunset, when all the world is through,

Just look for me and love me, and I’ll be close to you.

 

It won’t be forever, the day will come and then

My loving arms will hold you, when we meet again.

 

Time for us to part now, we won’t say goodbye;

Look for me in rainbows, shining in the sky.

Every waking moment, and all your whole life through

Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.

 

Just wish me to be near you,

And I’ll be there with you.

 

Music and lyrics: Conn Bernard

 

So farewell old friend thanks for being there for so long!

Ray

 

There have only been two or three times when I have left out the humor in the Daily, I hope you will understand that this will be another time.

~~~

Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,

May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.

Author Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Tenacity pays!

“It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.”

Vince Lombardi

 

It’s been quite a weekend. As most of you know we are in the middle of so called March Madness here in the US which is the huge basketball tournament held annually to determine our nations top college team. If you remember last year a little Indianapolis School, Butler University made it to the final game and missed the National Championship by one basket. It was called a Cinderella story for a small Midwest school to reach such heights and few thought that it would ever happen again. But here we are, Butler after losing their best player last year and taking awhile to really get going this year has again one of the four teams left in the tournament. They beat team after team, always the underdog, yet finding a way to win each game, often with only seconds to play.

They have done it by solid team play, never giving up and they have done it with student athletes who were passed up by all the big basketball powerhouses and they did it with a young coach. Their coach quit his job with a pharmaceutical company not too many years ago to work as a volunteer assistant coach at Butler and became the head coach not that long after and now while still young is leading his team to his second opportunity to go all the way to the top. It truly is the stuff that creates legends that will be long remembered. Those of us who live in Indianapolis bask in their glory. In fact tomorrow I will be attending a lecture at the home of the Bulldogs, Butler University  the place where dreams come true.

If that were not enough my granddaughter who had to miss one Gymnastic season as cartilage was replaced in her knee followed by months of rehab only to fracture a bone in her first national competition this season competed in one of the last meets of the year on Saturday. She was only healed enough to compete on the Balance Beam and on Bars but she did amazingly well taking sixth on beam and second on Bars. The thing that always impresses me is how she never quits, even during her toughest days she was working out and still was at the gym everyday. In three weeks she will compete in another national meet in Cleveland and I wish her well. Win or lose she will always be one of my heroes for she manages her time as well as anyone I know, has lots of friends, excels in school and still volunteers to help others when she can.

Oh by the way I did handle more than 700 of the e-mails that had backed up, I still have more to go but I’m getting there. One of them was from a colleague from my distant path that contains sound advice no matter what your beliefs may be. Here is what he sent:

1]  Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in  trouble, but it is a “steering wheel” that directs the right path throughout.

2]  So why is a Car’s WINDSHIELD  so large and the Rear view Mirror  so small?  Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE.  So, Look Ahead and Move on.

3]  Friendship is like a BOOK.  It takes a few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

4] All things in life are temporary.  If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever.  If going wrong, don’t worry, they can’t last long either.

5] Old Friends are Gold!  New Friends are Diamond!  If you get a Diamond, don’t forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a Base of Gold!

6]  Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, sweetheart, it’s just a bend, not the end!

7]  When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn’t solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

8]   A blind person asked St. Anthony: “Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?”  He replied: “Yes, losing your vision!” 

9] When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

10] WORRYING does not take away tomorrow’s TROUBLES, it takes away today’s PEACE.

~~~

“Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.”

Samuel Johnson

~~~

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. “Well,” he replied, “the pay is good and the hours aren’t bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.”

~~~

I am more and more convinced that our happiness or unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life, than on the nature of those events themselves.

Humboldt

~~~

A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor.

After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer.

The man asked, “How often do I take these.”

“Let’s start off with once every six hours. But they’re not for you.” replied the doctor. “They’re for your wife.”

~~~

I’ve changed my mind a dozen times.  It seems to work better now.

~~~

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 50 years ago.

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate.

After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Central high school.

“Yes,” he replied.

“When did you graduate?” I asked.

He answered, “In 1952.”

“Why, you were in my class!” I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely and then asked, “What did you teach?”

~~~

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

~~~

There were two couples who played golf together regularly at their club, and on the sixth hole, a par four, the second shot to the green must carry 80 yards over water. One of the women, Mrs. Nesmith, for over a year, could never carry the water, and would always hit into it, totally psyched out by the presence of the water. Her friend in the group suggested that she might want to see a hynotherapist that could be of help in this situation. So the woman went to a hypnotherapist for four sessions.

During the sessions, the woman was hypnotized and the therapist would “plant suggestions” that when playing the second shot on the sixth hole, she would not see water, but rather a plush green fairway leading all the way up to the green.

Six months pass and a golfer at the club asked “Whatever happened to Mrs. Nesmith? She hasn’t been playing golf at the club for almost four months now.” The golfer was informed that five months earlier, Mrs. Nesmith had drowned at the par four sixth!!!

~~~

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.

~~~

Tenant: The people upstairs are very annoying. Last night they stomped and banged on the floor until after midnight.

Landlord: Did they wake you?

Tenant: No. Luckily I was up, playin’ my tuba.”

~~~

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure , the process is its own reward.”

Amelia Earhart

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Ready, Set, Live!

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

Margaret Young

 

As I think I told you I had a full day yesterday and this morning I am off to an early annual meeting at a major downtown hotel so I am again going to have to revert to a reprint from the past so I thought I would share one I wrote six years ago that still holds meaning for me.

 Ray’s Daily first published March 25, 2005

I have noticed that mid-life is a floating date. I had my first mid-life crisis/opportunity, probably forty years ago. I have had many since; no longer do I view them as a crisis but rather as a great opportunity for redirection and life enrichment. I still think of them as a chance for a better life even at my age. The difference is that the older I get the more freedom I find to do whatever I want.

A week or so ago I got a letter from a friend who is the president of her and her husbands successful business. She told me she had decided to sell the business take a three month sabbatical and begin her next life. I am so glad that she has chosen to take care of herself and not stay trapped in what she has done so well for so long. She has much to gain and much to offer, I will enjoy watching as she thrives in the years ahead.

Each of us has the opportunity to make changes in our lives, sometimes just small short term changes, while others can result in new careers and adventures that we never dreamed possible. Every minute that goes by, each day, each month, each year, delays our opportunity to choose something that will make us happy. I know many who go through mid-life reassessment and decide that they are exactly where they want to be, what is great is that they then know they want to be where they are and why. Unfortunately too many feel so trapped that they view any change as an unacceptable risk, in my mind that is tragic.

One last thought, another friend e-mailed me the other day and shared the fact that she had been so conditioned over her lifetime that she was reluctant to take even the smallest risk. Please don’t let that happen. Often we rationalize our behavior as being something we cannot change, but you know what, we really can if we want to. So don’t be afraid to smile at a stranger and it really is ok to hold hands in public, let yourself go once in awhile, it is good training for the next time you get to decide to change something in your life.

~~~

Turn your midlife crisis to your own advantage by making it a time for renewal of your body and mind, rather than stand by helplessly and watch them decline.

Jane E. Brody

~~~

A husband was with his wife when she decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him.

In a cocky manner, he asked, “Where are all the men’s clothes?”

In a demure voice the clerk replied, “All of these clothes are for men, sir.”

~~~

The best exercise for reducing is to move the head slowly from right to left when offered a second helping at the dinner table.

~~~

She said: At the checkout counter of the department store where I was a cashier, customers frequently asked me under what circumstances items were returnable. One woman who came through my line must have been aware of store policy. She pointed to the lacy red-and-black negligee she was about to purchase. “May I bring this back if it doesn’t work?” she asked.

~~~

She also said: Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don’t feel that men provide them with enough frustration.

~~~

I never knew this…..

TRUE Newspaper Headlines  

* Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link-Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995  

* Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut-The New York Times, November 22  

* Alcohol ads promote drinking.-The Hartford Courant, November 18  

* Official: Only rain will cure drought.-The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts  

* Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men.-The Sunday Oregonian, September 24  

* Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows.-The New York Times, March 10  

* Scientists see quakes in L.A. future.-The Oregonian, January 28  

* Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold.-Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26  

* Bible church’s focus is the Bible.-Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994  

* Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity.-The Chicago Tribune, March 5  

* Lack of brains hinders research.-The Columbus Dispatch, April 16  

* Fish lurk in streams.-Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29  

~~~

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.

~~~

The Sunday after Christmas, the Sunday School teacher told her students about an angel appearing to Joseph in a dream, warning him about danger to the baby Jesus and telling him how to escape from it.

After the story time, the students were given an opportunity to draw a picture about the story.  Most of the pictures were predictable, but Larry’s had an odd element in it.

“Larry, I see Joseph and Mary with the baby Jesus on a donkey, but what is that following the donkey?

“It’s the flea, teacher.”

“Flea…? Ah…what flea?” asked the teacher.

To which the boy faithfully repeated the Bible verse:

“Take Mary and Jesus and flea to Egypt.  There’s Mary; there’s Jesus; and there’s the flea.”

~~~

There is in the worst of fortune the best of chances for a happy change.

Euripides

~~~

A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for coffee and a chat. They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative.

One day, Aaron surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, “You know what? I’ve now become an optimist.”

Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up. But then Sam notices something isn’t quite right and he says to Aaron, “Hold on a minute, if you’re an optimist, why are you looking so worried?”

Aaron replies, “Do you think it’s easy being an optimist?”

~~~

Henny Youngman remarked once that, in his will, he is leaving his body to Julia Roberts. “If she can’t wait, she can have it now,” he added.

~~~

Dorothy & Dana, two blondes, ventured into the woods to bring home a Christmas tree. They were determined not to leave until they found the right tree. They walked for hours in the snow, examining every tree they found. As the afternoon turned into evening, the temperature dropped ten degrees and the wind began to blow. Still no tree.

Finally, Dana piped up: “Listen Dorothy, I really think we’d better take the next tree we see, whether it has lights and decorations on it or not!”

~~~

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

A very early edition

“Time equals life; therefore, waste your time and waste of your life, or master your time and master your life.”

Alan Lakein

 

I have a really full day tomorrow with a service club meeting, followed by a meeting with a neighborhood leader, then a board luncheon, after which I will attend a kick off reception for a new seniors program and when it is over I’ll be rushing off to meet my wife at a theatre to attend a live musical comedy. In other words I’m going to be gone from 6:30 AM until 10:30 PM.

Someone told me once that a busy person is a happy person so I should ecstatic tomorrow. Since my computer sent you a previous Daily yesterday I am going to make this an early edition of Ray’s Daily and send it out tonight. I just don’t want to hear my computer complain about having to do all the work.

 

I think the Lakein quote above is right on however my problem is that time often goes faster than I do. It seems to me that the clocks go much faster these days than they did not that long ago. It seems like I bought my car a couple of years ago, yet it is now seven years old. I really don’t want to complain because I feel that I am one of the luckiest men around since there is so much I get to do. Too many folks I know have fallen along the way into a sedentary life and become lonely because there is no workplace to go to and friends have moved or passed on leaving empty chairs behind. Fortunately there are organizations like OASIS and others that are bringing seniors back to fuller lives everyday and I am glad to be part of that effort.

I know you have heard me say many times before that it is better to say no than to say yes and disappoint other because of your inability to get everything done. I am doing better at saying no when I should while still investing my time in places where I think I might be able to help and where I can do things I like to do. Now all I have to do is figure out how to average the time use so I don’t have overloaded days followed by one of those “now what do I do, nothing is scheduled” days.

By the way I’m not complaining just sharing. Here are some of Steve Brunkhorst’s thoughts on time that make sense to me.

Time

Time may seem to fly, yet there are ways to make the very best of the time we are granted, making each day a time we can treasure both now and in the years to come.

First, seek out joy, pay attention to your true interests, and follow your purpose. Then you will recognize what a magnificent gift it is to be alive, and you will create value for many people.

Second, remember that time is energy. Place attention on your strengths, not on your limitations. The old saying, “Where attention goes, energy flows” is very true.

Third, intentionally do something unique today. Anyone can be busy; however; are we busy creating value or busy being busy? Each moment can be memorable and valuable in many ways. Simply reminding a coworker or friend how much you appreciate them is a simple act of great value.

Most importantly, remember that time is only a measuring tool. Using our memories and future visions, time allows us to learn, make plans, design our lives so that we can accomplish our goals, earn a living, and share the fruits of our labor with those we love.

Time doesn’t fly nearly as quickly as we will fly from this earth. So, wouldn’t it be great to at least consider today as being one of the best times ever to express yourself through your unique gifts and talents?

~~~

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.”

Carl Sandburg

~~~

My friend Nurse Nancy sent me these health tips years ago I recently found them again and since they sound important I figured I better pass them on:

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there’s no need to worry.  By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam, and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared.  And you can do this right in your own home!

Exercise 1

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box.  Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean on the door for good measure.  Hold that position for five seconds (while you hold your breath).  Repeat again, in case the first time wasn’t effective enough.

Exercise 2:

Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect.  Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.  Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.  Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

Exercise 3

Freeze two metal bookends overnight.  Strip to the waist.  Invite a stranger into the room.  Press the bookends against one of your breasts.  Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.  Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next week and do it again!!

CONGRATULATIONS!

Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your Mammogram!

~~~

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

~~~

Two elderly sisters donated $5 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to a football game. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so.

“I think so, too,” said Mabel. “Let’s go!”

They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half. They enjoyed the band music and cheerleader performance that followed. Then came the second half. When the teams lined up for the second-half kickoff, Madge nudged her sister.

“I guess we can go home now, Mabel,” she said. “This is where we came in.”

~~~

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.

Donald Laird

~~~

This woman was talking to her friend when she got back from her recent trip to Spokane, Washington. Her friend asked her how she liked Spokane.

She answered, “I don’t know, I never got there.”  So the friend says, “You never got there… what do you mean?”  She answers, “You know me, I have to stop at every rest area and they all say ‘clean bathrooms’, well. . . it takes longer that you think!”

~~~

Only in America……do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

~~~

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I …”

ELLEN: I is .

TEACHER: No, Ellen.. Always say, “I am.”

ELLEN: All right. “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

~~~

“Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week’s value out of a year while another man gets a full year’s value out of a week.”

Charles Richards

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Better him than me

The faster we travel, the less there is to see.

Helen Hayes

 

Ray’s off to the dentist and a full day of activities so I am sending you one of his Dailies from the past. I am sure he’ll be back tomorrow. Enjoy your day; I know I will with him gone.

Ray’s Computer

~~~

First published March 23, 2004

Some of you have taken an interest in my brother and his wife’s sail on their 35’ boat from Africa to South America. Here is the latest we got via a ham radio link.

“Just to let you know, we are now back in the Northern Hemisphere.  We have sailed across the Equator for the eighth time, and maybe the last time. We are still over 1700 miles from Bequia, our intended landfall in the Grenadines, that translates into about two more weeks. The South Atlantic has lived up to its reputation as being easy, constant winds and smooth seas.  Now we are in the transition between the South East Trades and the North East Trades, the area known as the doldrums, or the convergence zone or more correctly, the Inter Tropical Convergence Zone.  The winds are more fluky and scattered thundershowers.”

~~~

A Friend Sent Us Some Words To Live By

When you hear a kind word spoken about a friend, tell him/her so.

When someone lets you down, don’t give up on him.

Remember that nothing important was ever achieved without someone’s taking a chance.

When a friend is in need, help him without his having to ask.

When someone gives you something, never say, “You shouldn’t have.”

Remember that cruel words deeply hurt.

Remember that loving words quickly heal.

Seek respect rather than popularity.

Seek quality rather than luxury.

Remember that life’s most treasured moments often come unannounced.

~~~

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

Grandma Moses

~~~

A tombstone in a Ribbesford, England, cemetery reads:

Anna Wallace:

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent them manna.

Old clerk Wallenstein wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

~~~

Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts?

~~~

Judy reports again:

Dear Tide:

I’m writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the a–.  One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn’t come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with Bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well, that some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered as a suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people…

Sincerely,

A menopausal woman

~~~

“The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.”

John E. Southard

~~~

After being interviewed by the school administration, the eager teaching prospect said: “Let me see if I’ve got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids, and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning. And I’m supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and even censor their t-shirt messages and dress habits. You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for weapons of mass destruction, and raise their self esteem.

You want me to teach them patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship, fair play, how to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook, and how to apply for a job. I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe environment, recognize signs of anti-social behavior, offer advice, write letters of recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage respect for the cultural diversity of others, and oh, make sure that I give the girls in my class fifty percent of my attention.

My contract requires me to work on my own time after school, evenings and weekends grading papers. Also, I must spend my summer vacation at my own expense working toward advance certification and a Masters degree. And on my own time you want me to attend committee and faculty meetings, PTA meetings, and participate in staff development training.

I am to be a paragon of virtue, larger than life, such that my very presence will awe my students into being obedient and respectful of authority. You want me to incorporate technology into the learning experience, monitor web sites, and relate personally with each student. That includes deciding who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to commit a crime in school.

I am to make sure all students pass the mandatory state exams, even those who don’t come to school regularly or complete any of their assignments. Plus, I am to make sure that all of the students with handicaps get an equal education regardless of the extent of their mental or physical handicap.

And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by letter, telephone, newsletter and report card. All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a bulletin board, a big smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps! You want me to do all of this and yet you expect me……

NOT TO PRAY?”

~~~

Boy, am I confused… I think.

~~~

A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters’ place. They put up a big bold sign which read:

“WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!”

Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign:

“WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS”

~~~

Two blondes walk into a building…..

You’d think ONE of them would have seen it!

~~~

“Boss, I’ve got to have a raise,” the salesman said to his sales manager. “There are three other companies after me.”

“Is that a fact?” the manager asked. “What other companies are after you?”

“The light company, the phone company, and the gas company.”

~~~

“Kindness in words creates confidence.

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.

Kindness in giving creates love.”

Lao-Tzu

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

 

Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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