Ray's musings and humor

Archive for October, 2017

I’m happy, are you?

Ray’s Daily

October 31, 2017


If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.

Roy T. Bennett

Happy Man 2

Time sure flies, here we are Halloween and the last day of October. While I am too old for costumes or new tricks I am going to enjoy today. I have an early meeting with two of my favorite people, the head of our cities premier senior organization and the VP of one of our cities leading universities. They are fun to be with and are always brainstorming on how we all can help to make our world a little bit better.

I will begin my latest round of physical therapy before I don my chauffeur’s hat to drive my wife to her medical appointment. The highlight of my day will be the joy I will feel when my therapy session has ended.

I have had a few challenging days lately but in the main things are good. I, like the guy in the following story know that happiness is mine, but only if I stop long enough to realize it.

“Happiness is a choice”

An old man lived in the village. He was one of the most unfortunate people in the world. The whole village was tired of him, he was always gloomy, constantly complained and always was in a bad mood. The longer he lived, the more bile was becoming and the more poisonous were his words. People avoided him, because his misfortune became contagious. It was even unnaturally and insulting to be happy next to him. He created the feeling of unhappiness in others.

But one day, when he got eighty years old, an incredible thing happened. Instantly everyone heard the rumour: “An Old Man is happy today, he doesn’t complain about anything, smiles, and even his face is freshened up”. The whole village gathered together. An old man was asked: – What happened to you?

– Nothing special.. – he answered. – Eighty years I’ve been chasing happiness, and it was useless. And then… I decided to live without happiness and just enjoy life… That is why I am happy now!


Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

Guillaume Apollinaire


I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.


An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died.

Until then, she’d never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued.

“You must take the loyalty oath first,” responded the passport clerk. “Raise your right hand, please.”

The old gal raised her right hand.

“Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” was the first question.

The little old lady’s face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, “Uhhh . . . all by myself?”


“I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was ‘Woman’.”

Steven Wright


Driving to a new restaurant, Margaret took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, “Why didn’t you tell me I was lost?”

“I thought you knew where you were going,” he replied. “You always know where you’re going when I’m driving.”


Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.


She said: My husband had been stationed in Europe and away from home for what seemed like years when I went for my annual gynecological checkup.  My doctor asked the usual questions, including what I was using for birth control.  I gave the only possible response I could:

“The Atlantic Ocean.”

n, her husband, and their three very rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic.  The woman glanced over at the car next them, noticing a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter.

Looking at her husband she said, “As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter.”

The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks, and said, “Here, have another cookie.”


It is better to have loved and lost, then to have hated and won.


Mary:  So we went back to my place, and I put on a little show for him.

Jill:  Ohmigod!  You did a strip tease?

Mary:  No!  I tried to sell him some Tupperware!


What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.



Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




! am slowing down

Ray’s Daily

October 30, 2017


“The real dividing line between things we call work and the things we call leisure is that in leisure, however active we may be, we make our own choices and our own decisions. We feel for the time being that our life is our own.”


One of the things that has helped me lately is to not let reversals get me down. I have had a chance to test that skill the last few days. My exercises that the physical therapist has me doing are more challenging than I thought they would be, I lost my Amazon Tablet that held my reading material and more

. And now I find my energy lacking so I am again going to send you a reprint this morning.

Ray’s Daily first published on October 30, 2006

Here we go again, another full and interesting week for me. This morning I attended my first meeting at 6:45 and learned that two people I have met with in the past had found jobs and that was great news. Later I attended a great meeting with the leaders of our cities major Senior’s programs and a University friend. We ended up laying out plans for an exciting Senior Citizen/College Student intergenerational program that will be included in the curricula of a global studies course. This is an exciting first step in our effort to build bridges between the generations.

Shortly I am off to the second in a series of lectures on the history and development of China. Tonight I will be attending the Franciscan Center on Global Studies guest lecture series to hear a respected academic from Rutgers speak on “Uses of Just War Ideas in Recent American Debate.”

Tomorrow I will meet, for the first time, with someone who is involved in college level distance learning programs. Wednesday I am having coffee with one of my favorite medical buddies who is my Pacemaker guru. Later that day it will be on to one of our cities Colleges to discuss possible community partnerships.

OK, now the fun part. On Thursday morning I will be helping man the African Cultural Resources booth at the Indianapolis International Festival. It will be student day and we expect to be busy with kids wanting to learn more about the world. I might even wear my African shirt given me by a friend who recently retuned from Ghana. I may have a hard time looking and acting African but I’ll do my best. It will be easier on Saturday since I will be working at the Nationalities Council booth from 10AM until 2PM. That assignment will be much simpler because of the many nationalities in my background. What is the word they use for humans? I don’t think it’s mongrel.

That is all I’ll be up to this week with the exception of a couple of meals with interesting people, a Kiwanis meeting, and other stuff that I will remember later. And of course there will be our daily visits. Life is full and I am pretty sure retirement is grand, although I sometimes wish I had a job so I could take some time off for work. Anyway, I will be looking for you out there and if you see me first stop and say hi.


“The life of a man consists not in seeing visions and in dreaming dreams, but in active charity and in willing service”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


Rules of Management

Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

If it’s really a “rush job,” run in and interrupt me every ten minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps.

Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors is good training.

If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.

Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.

If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret.

If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.

If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.

Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life.


“One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.”

Jack Handey


Mike goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, he says, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed and I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, under top. I’m going crazy!! Can you help me?

“Put yourself in my hands for two years, come to me three times a week and I’ll cure you,” says the shrink.

“OK, but how much do you charge for this? asks Mike.”

“A hundred dollars per visit,” says the psychiatrist.

And Mike replies, “I’ll think about it.” He never went back. Some time later he met the doctor on the street. “Why didn’t you come to see me again?” asks the psychiatrist.

“$100.00 a visit,” Mike says. “Why should I want to pay a hundred bucks a visit? My bartender cured me 100% for just ten dollars.”

“Is that so! says the shrink. “Just how did he do that?” And Mike says, “He told me to cut the legs off my bed.”


I know I’m not going to understand women. I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.


“A Love Poem”

I will seek and find you.

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.

I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan and groan.

I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I’m finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,

*The Flu*


Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

John Wooden


Father Guffy roared from the pulpit to his parishioners: “The drink has killed millions– it rots their stomachs and they die in agony. Smoking has killed millions–it coats your lungs and you die in agony. Overeating and consorting with loose women have also killed millions…”

“‘Scuse me, Father,” hollered Reagan from the back, “but what is it that kills the people who live right?


The Bureau of Incomplete Statistics reports that one out of three.


She said: I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military.  As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. “Has anyone given you any packages that you didn’t pack yourself?” he asked.

I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son.

He looked at me very carefully and asked: “Does she like you?”


Motherhood ~ If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!


In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son.

As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child, “You know, if we really mess this up, we’ll never have to do it again.”


The happiness that is genuinely satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties and the fullest realization of the world in which we live.  

Bertrand Russell


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



I am glad we are friends

Ray’s Daily

October 27, 2017


I’m just thankful I’m surrounded by good people.

Jon Pardi

Good people.

I have seen and met a wide variety of people in my life time. Some of them were even famous. But I have found that the people who have meant the most, as I look back, are the people who offered their friendship. Others that stand out are folks who not only care but who give of themselves in the service of others.

Maybe the main attribute that the people I regard have is kindness. They do not burden others with complaints and criticisms, rather they spread enthusiasm and a positive outlook. If you are like I am you too have met and spent time with lots of others. I suspect that you too choose to spend time with folks who inspire instead of with those who are constant fault finders.

Here is something that has been around for a while, it is worth revisiting now and then to help remind us of who the important people really are.

Life Quiz

You don’t actually have to take the quiz. Just read this straight through and you’ll get the point…

Here’s the first quiz:

  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
  2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
  4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
  5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
  6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The facts are, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

  1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
  2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
  5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
  6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.


The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”


Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou


Old Man Dean, a miser and reprobate of some renown in the community, at last suffered a health crisis and was rushed to hospital late one evening.  He lay unconscious through the night, but rallied at dawn and, by and by, was well enough to receive visitors.

A local parson, hearing of Dean’s misfortune and recalling that at one time he had been a member of his congregation, determined to make a call.  After brief pleasantries were exchanged, the preacher began an earnest appeal for the old boy to mend his ways and return to the flock.

He explained how the patient should be thankful that he was spared, and at some length inquired if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes during the incident.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” replied Dean, “the attack lasted only 6 hours!”


“A truly perfect marriage would be one between a blind woman and a deaf man.”

George Burns


A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:

Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”

Bartender: “What is a B and C?”.

Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”

Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”

Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”

Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”

Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”

Bartender: “What’s a 15?”

Blonde: “7 and 7”


What is worse than being a bachelor?

Being a Bachelor’s son


A husband and wife were playing in a mixed pairs tournament at their club.

The first hole was a par four. The husband teed off, hitting a beautiful tee shot smack down the middle of the fairway. They got to the ball and the wife took out her 3-wood and proceeded to hit the ball 20 yards into a nearby fairway bunker.

Her husband took out his 5-iron, stepped in and hit a perfect shot out of the bunker and just short of the green.

His wife then took her putter and blasted the ball through the green and into a bunker behind the green. Her husband, biting his lip, said nothing.

He took out his sand wedge and played a glorious shot out of the bunker, running the ball across the green and right into the cup.

“I can’t believe we started with a bogey,” he said to her as they walked to the next hole.

“Hey,” she said, “Don’t gripe to me. Only two of those shots were mine!”


Our forefathers guaranteed us the right to the pursuit of happiness.

They should have given us a few clues as to where to look.


Welcome at Church?

Three couples–one elderly, one middle-aged and one newlywed–wanted to join a church. The priest said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples all agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, “Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The old man replied, “No problem at all, Father.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the priest.

The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The middle-aged man replied, “The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights, but, yep, we made it.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church,” said the priest.

The priest then went to the newlywed couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

“No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man replied sadly.

“What happened?” inquired the priest. “My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it,” said the young man. “When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,” stated the priest.

“We know,” said the young man. “We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either.”


It’s a lot easier to do good work when you have good words to say and work with good people.

Mark Harmon


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



They Were Wrong

Ray’s Daily

October 26, 2017


“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

don't judge

I listened in on a conversation the other day where I heard someone demean a mutual acquaintance. The critic expressed ridicule using the other persons infirmities as justification for her remarks. I could not help but respond letting the listeners know that the person they were talking about was frail and suffering from memory problems. Her disabilities resulted in her overcompensating in an effort to be heard and appreciated. She was behaving as we all may someday.

I don’t know about you but I would much rather see what is good about someone and not create pain by finding fault especially when we don’t know all the facts. The following story triggered my thoughts today. It claims to be true but that is not important, what it does do is reminds us to avoid being too judgmental.

True Story

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor. On seeing him, the dad yelled:

“Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled & said: “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily

The doctor smiled again & replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book “From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace”

“Giving advises when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “Thank goodness!, your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any question, ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”

Moral – Never judge anyone….. because you never know how their life is and what they’re going through”


“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

 Carl Gustav Jung


“Mom’s List of Things She Does Not Want To Hear”

  1. I swallowed the goldfish.
  2. Did you know your lipstick works better than crayons?
  3. Does grape juice leave a stain?
  4. The principal called…
  5. But DAD says that word all the time!
  6. What’s it cost to fix a window?
  7. Has anyone seen my earthworms?
  8. I painted your shoes pretty, huh Mommy?
  9. I found out the dog doesn’t like dressing up in your underwear.
  10. I’m running away from home. (Well, maybe some day)


Drive defensively – buy a tank.


An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery.  Pausing before one gravestone he said, “There lies a very honest man.  He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts, and if anyone has gone to heaven, he certainly has.”

They walked on a bit further and then came to another grave.  The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, “Now there’s a different type of man altogether.  He owed me 60 dollars and he died without ever trying to pay me back.  If anyone has gone to hell, he certainly has.”

The little boy thought about all of this for a while and then said, “You know, Grandpa, you are very lucky.”

“Me? Lucky? Why?” asked the old man in surprise.

“Well, whichever place you go to, you’ll have some money to draw on.”


The secret of a successful marriage is incompatibility. He has the income, she has patability.


The following are different answers given by elementary school age children to each of the given questions:

How did your mom meet your dad?

  1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

  1. His last name.
  2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

  1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
  2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
  3. My grandma says that mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?

  1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

Who’s the boss at your house?

  1. Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goof ball.
  2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
  3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What’s the difference between moms and dads?

  1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
  2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
  3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ’cause that’s who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.

Describe the world’s greatest mom?

  1. She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!
  2. The greatest mom in the world wouldn’t make me kiss my fat aunts!
  3. She’d always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

  1. On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

  1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.


“Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.”

Wayne Dyer


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Wise Words

Ray’s Daily

October 25, 2017


Life does not have to be easy to be wonderful.

Wisdom 2

Good morning all. Yesterday I started some physical therapy to help me reinstall some vim and vigor into my life. They tell me that vim and vigor will be good for me but what I want to know is will it help me regain some leg strength and stamina. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

The other day Marc Chernoff shared some words of wisdom that he had gotten from a friend who passed away some time ago. It is a long list loaded with valuable insight. Here are some of her thoughts that I especially like.

  • When you hear only what you want to hear, you’re not really listening.  Listen to what you don’t want to hear too.  That’s how you grow.
  • Fantasizing about other times and places can be dangerous.  Don’t cling so tightly to the past, or dream so fervently about the future, that you miss out on the real value and beauty that is here and now.  Don’t live entirely in your head.  Don’t miss your life!
  • You will never feel as confident as you want to feel.  Stop believing that you should feel more confident before you take the next step.  Taking the next step is what builds your confidence.
  • Patience is not about waiting.  Patience is the ability to keep a positive, focused attitude while working hard to move your life forward.
  • Sometimes it’s better to let go without closure.  Actions and behavior speak volumes.  Trust the signs you were given and gracefully press on.
  • Calmness is a superpower.  The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace.  Once you begin to value your inner peace over your need to react and be right, you will in fact experience more inner peace, and happiness.
  • You will gradually attract people that think and behave like you.  If you want to be surrounded by positive people, you need to be positive too.  And the opposite is also true.  So do your best to surround yourself with people who push you to be your best.  Less drama—less mess.  Just higher vibrations and intentions.


Life is a gift of nature; but beautiful living is the gift of wisdom.

Greek Adage


Here is a list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers:

  • “Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you’re all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you’ll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction”.
  • “Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I’ll let you know any further information as soon as I’m given any.”
  • “Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me.”
  • During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced: “Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman…unfortunately towels are not provided”.
  • “Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with ‘Please hold the doors open’. The two are distinct and separate instructions.”


You can be discouraged by failure, or you can learn from it. So go ahead and make mistakes, make all you can. Because, remember that’s where you’ll find success – on the far side of failure.

Thomas J Watson Sr


Morris had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods.

“Why don’t you use an old ball?” his friend Sam asked.

“I’ve never had an old ball,” Morris said.


“A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.”

Helen Rowland


At his request, each morning three-year-old Ray’s mother pinned a bath towel to the back shoulders of his size two T-shirt. Immediately in his young imaginative mind the towel became a brilliant magic blue and red cape. And he became Superman.

Outfitted each day in his “cape,” Ray’s days were packed with adventure and daring escapades. He was Superman. This fact was clearly pointed out last fall when his mother enrolled him in kindergarten class. During the course of the interview, the teacher asked Ray his name.

“Superman,” he answered politely and without pause.

The teacher smiled, cast an appreciative glance at his mother, and asked again, “Your real name, please.”

Again, Ray answered, “Superman.”

Realizing the situation demanded more authority, or maybe to hide amusement,  the teacher closed her eyes for a moment,  then in a voice quite stern, said,  “I will have to have your real name for the records.”

Sensing he’d have to play straight with the teacher, Ray slid his eyes around the room, hunched closer to her, and patting a corner of frayed towel at his shoulder, answered in a voice hushed with conspiracy, “Clark Kent.”


At the mall, women get excited, thrilled, and overjoyed by purchasing the perfect item.

Men experience the same feelings just by finding a close parking space.


My daughter, is a bear on preventative medicine and somewhat over-protective of her first baby girl and had taken her three year old to the doctor for a check-up.

They had the child doing coordination tests, like stacking blocks, crawling around a big stuffed toy and other things so they could check her physical agility. They were watching to see if she walked properly, when the doctor said, “Allison, can you stand on one foot for me?”

The little darling obediently walked over and stood right on his right foot.


It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Look Ahead

Ray’s Daily

October 24, 2017


Always look ahead and be prepared for everything instead of looking back and regret.

Anurag Prakash Ray


I have found that one of the secrets of enjoying our golden years is to spend little time reliving regrets. There is little value in rehashing the past especially when you can never change it. We all make mistakes as the years go by, we make them and then live on. It is too bad that so many of us let those memories linger.

I found that using mistakes as learning experiences rather than stored regrets is the way to go. There are not that many years ahead that we can afford to be burdened by past mistakes. I chose to march ahead expecting good times and if I make a mistake or two along the way I am not going to let them worry me.

I got the following from the Sunny Skyz blog. Since it has a good message for us all I want to share it with you.

Always Look Forward

I know it’s a human thing to look back at the things in life that we sometimes, if not always regret. Whether it’s doing drugs, to getting to know someone, to date someone, to be with someone, we all have regrets, we’re not perfect.

So many people look back at life, at their regrets, saying how they regret doing this, or talking to that person, or getting to know that girl/guy, I used to be one of those people, heck i still am, it’s a battle, for anyone.

So, look forward, move forward, and think about what’s coming, and not what left.

Many of us are still young and have so much to look forward to in life, and whether you can’t see something good happen in the near future, it doesn’t mean it won’t. Each step we take, we slightly or dramatically change our future, each word we speak, we influence the people around us, the setting around us.

Remember, if we look back whilst we’re walking, we’ll crash or bump into things we could see coming if we were looking forward.

So, look forward, admire what is coming, face the challenges that appear, overcome obstacles and kick negativity in the ass.


You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead.

George Lucas


Speedy Morris was the basketball coach at LaSalle and they were having a pretty good season. One morning, he was shaving and the phone rang. His wife answered it and called out to him that Sports Illustrated wanted to talk to him.

Coach Morris was excited that his team was apparently about to receive national recognition in this famous sports magazine. As a matter of fact, he was so excited that he cut himself with his razor.

Covered with blood and shaving lather and running downstairs to the phone, he tripped and fell down the stairs. Finally, bleeding and bruised, he made it to the phone and breathlessly said, “Hello”?

The voice on the other end asked, “Is this Speedy Morris”?

“Yes, yes!” he replied excitedly.

Then the voice continued, “Mr. Morris, for just seventy-five cents an issue, we can give you a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated.”


Learn to write your hurts in sand; learn to carve your blessings in stone.



One day, there was a blind man sitting on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read: “I am blind, please help.”

A man was walking by and stopped to observe. He saw that the blind man had only a few coins in his hat. He dropped in some money and, without asking for permission, took the sign and rewrote it.

He returned the sign to the blind man and left. That afternoon the man returned to the blind man and noticed that his hat was full of bills and coins.

The blind man recognized his footsteps and asked if it was he who had rewritten his sign and wanted to know what he had written on it.

The man responded, “Only the truth. I just wrote the message a little differently.” He smiled and went on his way.

The new sign read: “Today is Autumn and I cannot see it.”


The only difference between stumbling blocks and steppingstones is the way in which we use them.



Growing up as a kid, I learned all about capitalism through the board game Monopoly. I mean, what better way to teach a young mind the way our economy functions. I loved this game and still do. Only now, as an adult I have some questions that remain unanswered.

For instance, if I have all this money and own all this real estate…why am I still driving around in a thimble?


The most damaging phrase in the language is: ‘It’s always been done that way.’

Grace Murray Hopper


A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious, the man rowed over and asked, “What is the mirror for”?

“That’s my secret way to catch fish,” said the other man. “Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat.”

“Wow! Does that really work”?

“You bet it does.”

“Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I’ll give you $30 for it.”

“Well, okay.”

After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, “By the way, how many fish have you caught this week”?

“You’re the sixth,” he said.


We do not know what tomorrow will bring. It is a brand new adventure where anything can happen. If today is not working for you then look ahead and try to see all the great possibilities that can happen then.

Dr Anil Kumar Sinha


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



She did it, you can too

Ray’s Daily

October 23, 2017


Change before you have to.

Jack Welch

Positive change

I ran into a friend the other day who I have known for many years. I first met her when she was working in an entry level job for our cities most successful restaurant conglomerate. She was the single mother of a young child who I found to have a big heart. It was not long after we first met that she decided that she was going to make a commitment to a successful and caring life. To make a long story short she excelled and rose in the ranks of her organization to a key management position.

What I discovered the other day was that she made the choice to leave the consuming roles she was playing and accept a lower position in her company’s organization. She decided that there was more to life than letting her vocation consume all her time and energy. She now gets to spend more time with her teenage daughter as well as the opportunity to see the things along the way that she has been missing while she did her previous job. She again has taken charge of her life and I am proud of her once more.

If you want to make a change in your life the following tips may help. They are from the Live Bold and Bloom blog.

How To Easily Get Unstuck From Your Rut And Make Positive Change


Start small – Whatever it is you want to achieve, break it down into the smallest possible actions. Don’t begin a running program by attempting to run 5 miles the first day. Just start by putting on your shoes and getting out the door and run for 5 minutes. Make it profoundly easy to accomplish your new action at the beginning. Do this for several days before increasing your time. Build up to your optimum time for your new behavior very slowly over a period of weeks.

Reward yourself – Find some small way to acknowledge your efforts every day. Find out what feels like a reward to you, and give it to yourself immediately following your new habit. Remember getting gold stars in elementary school? Well they are still surprisingly rewarding. Watch them line up on your calendar as you accomplish your small goal every day.

Create accountability – If someone else is paying attention to what you are doing, you are more likely to follow through. So announce your plans for your new positive habit to other people. You can use social media, email a friend, or have your spouse serve as your accountability partner.

Prepare for disruptions – Life has a way of getting in the way of our plans and preparation. If you miss a day of completing your habit because of travel, emergencies, etc. don’t use that as an excuse to quit. Just pick back up as soon as you can. In fact, try to anticipate possible interruptions to your new habit and create an alternative plan.


I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better.

Georg C. Lichtenberg


Retirees: The Whole Truth, Nothing But…

Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answers: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answers: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


Lead me not into temptation. I know my way.


To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chic Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and studied it with an appraising eye.

“We’ll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci,” he said finally.

“Sorry, sir,” said the waiter. “That’s the owner.”


We are not Human Beings having a spiritual experience.

We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience.

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer


Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why the regularity. “I’m foreman of the local sawmill,” he explained. “Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon so I call you to get the exact time.” The operator giggled, “That’s really funny,” she said. “All this time we’ve been setting our clock by your whistle.


Procrastinators Unite… Tomorrow!


Last month, after much deliberation, I bought a magnolia tree from our local nursery.  After only a few weeks I noticed that the leaves had started to shrivel and the tree appeared to be on its last legs in spite of my tender care. So I took some leaf samples and marched back to the nursery to demand an explanation or get my money back.

“I know exactly what’s wrong with your magnolia,” said the manager.

“Good!” I exclaimed. “What’s it suffering from?”

You can imagine how stupid I felt when he simply said, “autumn.”


An American lawyer asked, “Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?”

“Who told you that?” asked Paddy.


If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.

Gail Sheehy


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Find the easier way

Ray’s Daily

October 20, 2017


There’s a way to do it better – find it.

Thomas A. Edison


The other day I suggested that our lives would be much better if we did not make them so complicated, I provided some of Marc Chernoff’s thoughts on simplification. Today I got another e-mail from him that included an article on “Ways to Make Today Simpler than Yesterday”. Here in part is what he wrote.

The feeling of being mind-numbingly busy and overbooked is a huge source of stress for most people, and stress is perhaps the single most important determining factor of whether we’re healthy and happy, or sick and tired, in the long run.

Unless you want your health to decline and your stress to continue to skyrocket, you must start simplifying.

So how can you simplify your days? It’s not as hard as you might imagine…

  1. Know what your perfect day looks and feels like. Visualizing your perfect day is important not necessarily because it will be a recurring reality, but because it’s crucial to understand what a “simple day” really means to you. It’s different for everyone – for me, it means practicing my morning gratitude meditation, quiet writing and reading time, and spending a few quality hours with Marc and our son, Mac. For others, it’s a long morning walk, afternoon yoga, a productive day at the office, and a hot bath before bed. And for others, it’s simply lots of time to focus on an important life goal, while still leaving enough time to get a good night’s rest.
  2. Leave space between everything.It’s tempting to fill in every waking minute of the day with tasks. Don’t do this to yourself. Leave space.

The space between the things we do is just as important as the things we do. So leave a little space between your tasks. Take a break to stretch, take a short walk outside, drink a glass of water, perhaps do some simple deep breathing exercises. Enjoy the space, and breathe.

Your overarching goal is living a life uncluttered by most of the things people fill their lives with, leaving you with space for what truly matters.

  1. Make the best of every outcome. A simpler, more positive mindset can be created anytime and anyplace with a change in thinking. That’s right, frustration and stress come from the way you react, not the way things are. Adjust your attitude, and the frustration and stress evaporates. The simplest secret to doing this is letting every circumstance be what it is in the moment, instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it.


“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be”

Marcel Pagnol


BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: 1) A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling. 2) A man who, when his wife drops her knitting, kicks it over to her so that she can easily pick it up.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn’t do it.

HUSBAND: 1) A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had. 2) A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife’s permission to say so.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MISS: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.

MISTRESS: Something between a mister and a mattress.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single in the first place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.


Help Wanted – Telepath. You know where to apply.


While waiting in line at the bank, a man developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller’s window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took his check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute, she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.

“Why not”? The man asked incredulously.

“I’m sorry, sir,” she replied, “but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact,” she continued, “our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5,000.”

“It can’t be!” he cried. “You have to be kidding!”

“Yes, I am,” she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. “But you will notice that your hiccups are gone.”


Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living;

the world owes you nothing; it was here first.

Mark Twain


Almost 150 yrs. ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator – Mr. Alan Pinkerton. He was actually the beginning of the Secret Service.

Since that time the federal police authority has grown to a large number of three-letter agencies – FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, SS, ATF, etc. Now comes a proposal for another agency: The “Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service.”

Can’t you see it now, the new service in their black outfits with their initials in large white letters across their backs? ‘FATASS’.


They told me to backup my hard drive, anyone know how to put it in reverse?


Jill was really peeved!  She was arguing with the druggist because her favorite cure-all could not be bought without a prescription.

“Look, lady.  You can’t have this without a prescription because it’s a habit-forming drug.”

“IT IS NOT!” yelled Jill.  “I ought to know…I’ve been taking it regularly for seventeen years!”


“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.”

Jackson Brown Jr.,


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



We need each other

Ray’s Daily

October 19, 2017


“No one is useless in the world who lightens the burden of it for anyone else.”

Charles Dickens


Hi everyone. Sorry I was so late with the Daily yesterday, I got distracted. Today is going to be pretty full as well so I am going to have to send you a previous edition of the Daily.

Ray’s Daily first published on October 19, 2006

Often, we share burdens such as our common concern for those who die each day due to conflict and deprivation. Yet if the truth be known our shared burdens are never quite as heavy as those we carry on our own. In fact more often than not, burden does not describe what we feel — pain more accurately describes the experience.

Even though our pain may not be logical, it is no less real. When we are in pain we don’t need anyone to tell us that if we had done something different the pain could have been avoided. Nor do we need someone to tell us that our pain is foolish and that we should get over it. And we surely don’t need some one to talk us into becoming mad and angry and to lash out against whoever or whatever may have triggered our pain. Nor do we need to hear how dumb it is to feel the pain. We do not need to be judged, what we need is empathy and understanding as well as help to get through our pain.

Pain is often irrational but that does not make it less real, and the best cure is often the understanding, compassion, and solace given to us by others. Often the pain will pass more easily if we just sit quietly together for a bit. We can be the best medicine someone we care about will ever have; all you have to do is care some and love a lot and you will never know how grateful we are that you were there when we needed you.


Maybe I Never Will Be


I’m not very good

At this Game called Life

For I’ve not learned to see children crying

Without feeling pain

For I’ve not learned to watch animals destroyed

Without wondering why

For I’ve not yet met a king or a celebrity

That I would bow down to

Or a man so insignificant

That I would use for a stepping-stone

For I’ve not learned to be a ‘yes man’

To narrow minded bosses

Who quote rules without reason

And I’ve not learned to manipulate

The feelings of others

To be used for my own advantages

Then cast aside as I see fit

No, I’m not very good

At this Game called Life

And if everything goes well

Maybe I never will be



I liked Bob Hope’s answer when someone asked “How’s your golf game?” He would say, “If it was a boxing match they’d stop it.”

There are a lot of golfers at this banquet. I handed one guy the cream and sugar and he corrected my grip. But I really knew he was a golfer when he took three lumps of sugar and wrote down two.

This guy can do more damage on a golf course than lightning.

He played well today, he hit two birdies, an eagle, a moose, an elk, and a mason.


Lawyer: “Mrs. Brighton, I have succeeded in coming to a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you.”

Mrs. Brighton: “What the hell is wrong with you? I could have done that myself!”


There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson



CADDY–2 women talking about a 3rd who isn’t there to defend herself.

CHIPPING — Time to get our nails done again.

DOUBLE BOGIE — “Casablanca” followed by “African Queen.”

FAIRWAY — Splitting the bill when the girls go to lunch.

GOOD LIE — Weight on our driver’s license.

GREENS — Lunch we eat when we’d really love a cheeseburger.

HOLE-IN-ONE — Time to get new pantyhose.

IRON — What guys need to learn to do their own shirts.

ROUGH — Getting a guy to understand, well, pretty much anything.

SHAFT — You watch the kids while he gets to go golfing.

SLICE — “No thanks. . .just a sliver.”

TEES — Putting on that Victoria Secret Negligee.

WATER HAZARD — Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip.

WEDGE — Bathing suit that’s too tight


She said: When a man brings his wife a gift for no reason, there’s a reason.


Charlie, why don’t you play golf with Ted any more?” asked the wife.

“Would you play golf with a chap who moved the ball with his foot when you weren’t watching?” he said.

“Well, no,” admitted his wife.

“Neither will Ted,” replied the dejected husband.


Success is a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Earl Wilson


Young Morris asked his father, “Dad, was Adam Jewish?”  His father put down his newspaper and thought for a moment. He was an expert at Talmudic reasoning and in the art of making a point by an unanswerable question. He replied, “If we can determine that Eve was Jewish, my son, we would at once see that Adam was Jewish, for who but a Jew could bring himself to marry a Jewish girl?” (Here he turned his head a bit nervously to make sure his wife wasn’t listening.) “Therefore, we can drop the Adam problem and instead ask ourselves, “Was Eve Jewish?” “To answer that, we have only to ask the question, “Would anyone but a Jewish girl say, ‘Here, have a piece of fruit’?”


“We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past,

but by the love we’re not extending in the present.”

Marianne Williamson


The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, “Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?”


If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain:

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

Emily Dickinson


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Have a satisfying day

Ray’s Daily

October 18, 2017


Life is a grand adventure – enjoy the ride.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Yesterday I was asked by my primary doctor how I was coping with the changes in my life. She was concerned that my wife’s health problems coupled with my reduced activity was getting me down. She has been my Doctor for about thirty years and knows me pretty well. I reported to her that I was doing OK as I was not ready to succumb to the blues.

The reality of my life these days is that I now appreciate each day and what it entails more than I ever have. I am closer to my wife and family than I have ever been and I value the time I spend with friends more as well.

Here is a poem that is worth reading, it is just a shame some of us wait so long before we follow its advice.

Enjoy Life!


Life’s too short to be wasted.

It passes just once, so make the most out of it.

Live life the way you want it to be.

Live it to the fullest, feel free!


Live as the sun shines in the sky.

Live as high as the birds can fly.

Live as the colors of a rainbow.

Live as far as the clouds can go.


Never waste it with worthless doubts and fears,

With insecurities and useless tears.

Remember that what couldn’t tear you makes you strong.

Put away frustrations, sing your own song!


Believe in what you can do.

The world is round; it’s all up to you.

Think fast, act now!

Time is gold; it couldn’t be renewed.


Value experiences, learn from mistakes.

Improve for the better, live for others.

Do what is right and what is best.

Always be yourself, unique from the rest.


Laugh as if there’s no tomorrow.

Dance as though you’ll never get through.

Love with all your heart and soul.

Sing like you’re on the top of the world.


Forget the money, the root of all evil.

Treasure your loved ones; you’re lucky they’re still there.

Strengthen your faith, live with God.

The best things in life are for free, so why not?!



Dance… enjoy each step along the way.

Wayne Dyer


A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. “Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army,” the general said. “Nothing to it-you’ll catch on again fast.”

Next morning promptly at eight o’clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general’s bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer’s wife on her bottom and said, “OK, sweetheart, it’s back to the village for you.”


A kindergarten teacher asked, “What is the shape of the earth ?”

One lil’ girl spoke up: “According to my Daddy — terrible!”


A young couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at a rattlesnake farm they discovered along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.

“Gosh!” exclaimed the young woman. “You certainly have a dangerous job. Don’t you ever get bitten by the snakes?”

“Yes, on rare occasions,” answered the handler.

“Well,” she continued, “what do you do when you’re bitten by a snake?”

“I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make cut across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound.”

“What, uh…what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?” persisted the woman.

“Ma’am,” answered the snake handler, “that will be the day I learn who my real friends are.”


How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment when we realize we have discovered a friend.

William Rostler


I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet.

“How do you know when you’re at 300 feet?” asked one woman.

“A good question,” replied the instructor. “At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”

The woman thought about this for awhile before saying, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”


Luck is being ready for the chance.

Frank Dobie


My daughter goes to extremes in caring for her new sports car.

One afternoon we went to get gas. When the attendant asked what kind, she said, “Unleaded — super. The best you have. And check the oil, please.”

When the man found the car needed a quart, he asked, “What kind do you use?”

“I just want the finest,” she said. “Whatever it costs. And look at the radiator too. It might need water.”

“What does it take,” the attendant inquired, “Perrier?”


“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”

Henry Youngman


“May I try on that dress in the window?” the gorgeous young woman asks the manager of the designer boutique.

“Go ahead,” the manager replies. “Maybe it’ll attract business.”


Holding-on does not have to be a desperate teeth-gritting kind of holding-on. Holding-on can be a joyful “this is just the nature of Life, so I may as well enjoy it” kind of holding-on.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Tag Cloud