Ray's musings and humor

Archive for June, 2013

I have great news!

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

 Great News

I spent most of yesterday undergoing a wide variety of tests to determine the source of my internal problems. I got some bad news and some great news. The bad news is that I will have surgery early next Tuesday to remove what have been elusive kidney stones that appear to be the cause of problems I have had for some time. The great news is that they found them and they can remove them and I will be reborn, it does not get much better than that.

I hope you’ll forgive me for still being worn out and again sending you a reprint.


Ray’s Daily first published on June 28, 2002

I made another dumb mistake today. I guess I am fortunate to be in a position where I am allowed to do things that sometimes are mistakes. I wonder what it would be like to withdraw from all we can do so that we would not have to face the discomfort that comes from a misstep, I would think we would stagnate. I wish I was more like you, so that I would be fault free.


More news you may have missed:

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies


Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.


The habit of asking God to prevent calamities is a hard one to break. Thus, it came about that one Jewish businessman, driven to distraction by the devious practices of another, finally shouted at him, “You should only drop dead – God forbid.”


Showing his friend around his home, Jennings started to point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.

“The day before I die, I’d like to sell every piece we’ve got just to see how much it’s all worth.”

“But you couldn’t possibly know the day before you were going to die, so how could you sell it.”

“Simple: If I sell it, my wife would kill me!”


I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions-the curtain was up.

Groucho Marx


“You seem like an intelligent, honest man who wouldn’t lie to the court,” the lawyer said sarcastically to the witness. If I wasn’t under oath I’d return the compliment,” said the witness.


A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Dear, would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” replied the little girl, shyly.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie,” the woman said.

Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, “Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!”


I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Steven Wright


Evelyn sent us this.

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train,looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog.

The war weary soldier asked, “Please, ma’am, may I sit in that seat?”

The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, “You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can’t you see my Little Fife is using that seat?”

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there? I’m very tired.”

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, “You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are so arrogant. Imagine!”

The soldier didn’t say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The women shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

The English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, “You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”


“Our greatest glory consists not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”

Oliver Goldsmith


My English professor was stopped for speeding. When asked why she was driving so fast, she quoted Robert Frost: “I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.”

“But, Miss,” replied the officer, obviously familiar with the poet, “Frost chose the road less traveled, and, unfortunately for you, this wasn’t it.”


I remember that in the year 1957 we said:

(1)  “I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $20.00.”

(2)  “Have you seen the new cars coming out next year?  It won’t be long when $5000 will only buy a used one.”

(3)  “If cigarettes keep going up in price, I’m going to quit.  A quarter a pack is ridiculous.”

(4)  “Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?”

(5)  “If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.”

(6)  “When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon.  Guess we’d be better off leaving the car in the garage,”

(7)  “Kids today are impossible.  Those ducktail haircuts make it impossible to stay groomed.  Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls,”

(8)  “I’m afraid to send my kids to the movies any more.  Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying damn in “Gone With The Wind,” it seems every new movie has either Hell or damn in it.”

(9)  “I read the other day where some scientist thinks it’s possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century.  They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.”

(10)  “Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball?  It wouldn’t surprise me if someday that they will be making more than the President.”

(11)  “I never thought I’d see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric.  They are even making electric typewriters now.”

(12)  “It’s too bad things are so tough nowadays.  I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.”

(13)  “It won’t be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.”

(14)  “Marriage doesn’t mean a thing anymore, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorces at the drop of a hat.”

(15)  “I’m just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.”

(16)  “Thank goodness I won’t live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes.  I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to Congress.”

(17)  “The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.”

(18)  “There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.”

(19)  “No one can afford to be sick any more; $35.00 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood.”


None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm

Henry David Thoreau


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

I hope your day will be as good as mine

“You cannot tailor-make the situations in life but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations.”

Zig Ziglar


Sometimes it is easier to go with the flow than it is to buck the current, today is one of those days for me. I have been experiencing some of those old guy internal plumbing problems the last couple of weeks and the Doctors so far have provided sympathy, solace and some medication but to no avail. While I do appreciate the additional exercise I get from frequent trips to the loo I would much rather limit my exercise to my daily routine at the gym. Unfortunately my malady will again prevent me the pleasure of my regular Cardiac workout this morning due to my inclement personal needs.

But all is not lost I will do the invocation at a meeting later this morning in between visits to the water closet and then shoot off for late morning medical tests accompanied by a visit with Super-Docs who hopefully hold the key to turning off the spigot. The not so good news is that I will miss an important multi-service community center board meeting. I hate to miss it but the only time the Docs could fit me in for their medical magic was at the same time the board will meet.

Like I keep saying life is an adventure filled with wonder, sometimes of our choosing and sometimes by events, today I wonder what my remedy will entail. I spend so much time with my many medical support team members that I think I should get frequent patient points as well as an invite to the next health provider patient appreciation party.

What surprises many of my friends and family is how I have learned not to worry or fret over less than catastrophic problems. I do not look at my current malady with woe and disappointment nor anxiety; it is just another detour that I sometimes have to take. What I do look forward to is getting the problem taken care of for I have learned over the years just how pleasurable pain removal can be. I never will understand those that delay taking care of themselves for fear that the Docs might find something wrong. Ralph Marston wrote some time ago about managing the power of your thoughts that I like, I hope you will too.

How you spend your thoughts

How are you spending your precious, powerful thoughts? Are you spending them on the things you desire or on the things you detest? Would you waste your money buying things you didn’t even want? It makes no more sense to waste your thoughts on those things you don’t want.

Your life unfolds in accordance with your most pervasive thoughts. Your actions, and the results they bring, flow directly from what you think from moment to moment. Can you create and nourish a rich and detailed vision of yourself living the life you wish to live? Yes, of course you can.

Allow yourself to fashion that vision, to nourish it, to expand upon it with your thoughts, and by so doing, to truly live it. The more you focus your thoughts on what you do desire, the more surely you bring those desires to life. Make positive and meaningful use of the awesome power of your thoughts. Where your thoughts most frequently go, your life will surely and quickly follow.


Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.

Anthony J. D’Angelo


A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?”

“Somebody else’s pants.”


The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.

Wilson Mizner


There’s a story about an MIT student who spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed, blowing a whistle, and then walking off the field.

At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field.

The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.


“The person who would like to make his dreams come true must stay awake.”

Richard Wheeler


A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, “Hi, Daddy!” and she began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work.

When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk she took the receiver and said, “Hi, hon.”

“Thank God, lady,” the voice on the other end replied. “I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here!”


I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!


Two truck drivers, Ralph and Cletus, who drove as a team, were interviewing for a job at a new trucking company. Many questions were asked, and answered, with Ralph doing most of the talking as Cletus never had much to say.

The interview was coming to a close with one more question. “Ralph, you’re driving in the mountains in Colorado. You’re going down a very steep grade with a very sharp curve at the bottom. All of a sudden, your brakes quit. What do you do?”

Ralph scratched his chin for a bit, then said, “I’d wake up Cletus.”

The interviewer was puzzled and asked “Why wake up Cletus?”

Ralph replied, “Because he ain’t never seen a wreck like we’re fixin to have!”


Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!


Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract’s sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, “This man,” he announced, “called in sick yesterday!”

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator.

“Wow,” he said. “Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn’t been sick!”


“We can’t escape pain; we can’t escape the essential nature of our lives. But we do have a choice. We can give in and relent, or we can fight, persevere, and create a life worth living, a noble life. Pain is a fact; our evaluation of it is a choice.”

Jacob Held



We have picked up many new subscribers and followers lately. Some because someone had forwarded them a copy of the Daily, others by finding a copy on the web. But often some are added at the request of a friend or relative, as you know everyone is welcome so if you have someone you would like me to add just let me know.


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Oh Happy Day

Happiness is not a matter of events; it depends upon the tides of the mind.

Alice Meynell


One of the things I am most grateful for was the discovery some years ago that happiness does not lie at the end of the rainbow but rather exists along the journey if we see the good things that exist along the way. Far too many folks seem to think that happiness exists over the next hill and do not take the time to look around where they are and appreciate all they already have.

I agree with the following article that I saved some time ago from the Squidoo website. If we convince ourselves that happiness only lays at the end of our quest it implies that anything else will not provide us joy, how wrong is that! Yet there are many that have lost the ability to place value on all that is available to them each day. Friends, health, family, leisure time, and so much more is far too often taken for granted and overlooked. I think many would really be surprised if they objectively built a list of the good things they already have and could have each day and compared it to what they will find if they ever reach the end of their rainbow. Thankfully I found long ago that the picture on my 36 inch TV is the same as the one on a 60 inch TV and that my eight year old auto gets me to where I want to go and saves me enough to finance a cruise every now and then.

So my friends as I have shared with you so often, life is so much better for those who chose to value the everyday benefits rather than longing only for the brass ring. I am going now to enjoy my day, I hope you will too.

Happiness is having what you want and wanting what you have

As the old song goes: “Happiness is wanting what you have.”

It is OK to want more than you currently own in terms of your personal or professional life. In fact it is good and healthy to have goals and dreams. However it is not healthy to base your happiness on the achievement of those goals.

That is a sure-fire path to unhappiness for a number of reasons. First because you are putting off happiness while you work toward your goal – many goals that are worth attaining will take a long time to reach. Do you want to be unhappy for all that time?

Second life is full of surprises and the best-laid plans sometimes change. If you are basing your happiness on the end goal then you might miss a great deal of happiness (not to mention opportunities for even more happiness) by not allowing yourself the flexibility to adjust your path or even change your mind.

Third you may well be placing your happiness beyond your reach. Sometimes, due to circumstances beyond our control, we do not attain our personal or professional goals. Sometimes we can do everything within our power and everything possible – and we still fail. Failure is a natural result of living a full life and it does not naturally lead to disaster. Sometimes failure simply leads to another opportunity or goal. However if you have tied your happiness to the success of a goal then failure can certainly mean disaster for you.

Are you happy with what you have?

What do you want?


Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

Margaret Lee Runbeck


Some more of the realities of retirement:

You can live without sex but not without your glasses.

You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.

You enjoy watching the news.

The phone rings and you hope its not for you.

The only reason you’re still awake at 4 am is indigestion.

You start singing along with the elevator music.

You’ve owned clothes so long that they’ve come back into style –TWICE.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

7 AM is your idea of “sleeping in.”


Calkin’s Law of Menu Language:  The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.


The teacher asked her fifth-grade class, “How was Columbus treated when he returned from his third voyage?”

One student said, “Lots of people met him at the pier, and they all had a great time.”

Sternly, the teacher said, “You didn’t read the assignment!”

The student brought the textbook up to the teacher’s desk and showed her where it read, “Columbus received a cool reception when he returned from his third voyage.”


Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

Caryn Leschen


“The Ten Most Common Forms of Office Illnesses”

1. The Macy’s One Day Sale Flu.

2. The Drivers License Renewal Appointment 24-Hour Virus.

3. The Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early Sudden Unbearable Stomach Pains.

4. The I’m Looking for a New Job and I Don’t Know How Long It’s Going to Take, but I Want To Stay On The Payroll Until Then Mysterious Infection.

5. The My Boy/Girlfriend’s Got the Week Off So Suddenly I’m Too Contagious To Come In To The Office Disease.

6. The I Need a Hair Cut and My Stylist Doesn’t Make Evening Appointments Bout of Influenza.

7. The There’s No Federal Holidays for Two Months, and I Want a Day Off Sickness.

8. The It’s Spring Break and I Want To Pretend I’m a Teenager Again General Ailment.

9. The I’ve Screwed Up Royally, and I Won’t Come In To Face the Music Terminal Illness.

10. The I Really Am Sick and I’ve Got The Doctor’s Bills and the Completed Medical Expense Reimbursement Forms to Prove It Infirmity.


When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white man came, an Indian said simply, “Ours.”

Vine Deloria, Jr


She said:

Diamonds are a girl’s best friends.

Dogs are man’s best friend.

So which is the dumber sex?


Think of all the beauty that’s still left in and around you and be happy!

Anne Frank


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Is it time for a change?

When you are through changing, you are through.

Bruce Barton


I wish these were easier times for some of the people I meet. So often the setbacks they have experienced mostly through no fault of their own have taken them to a lonely place. It is as if the depression brought on by adversity has them believing that they are in a dark hole with no way to get out. I have learned that those who have given up on themselves stand little chance of starting a better life. And you know what? I have yet to meet anyone who has reason to give up on themselves. They may have been in the wrong place, or were the victim of events beyond their control or they even may have been guilty of a mistake but if they see those events as reason for pessimism they will pay an awful price.

Why is it that we punish ourselves way beyond a reasonable level of penance and then use our behavior as a rationale for not taking positive action?

Some time ago David Loker actor, singer, life-coach, and the founder of Passion For A Living found himself in the doldrums and his wife told him “You have to fix this.” Those five words triggered him to reexamine his life and take action and in the process he found these three tips to be keys that can open the door to brighter days. After reading them I think they are worth a regular reread as all of us at one time or another need to decide that we have to fix whatever is bothering us.


3 Tips to Start Changing Your Life

Realize That You Have the Power to Change Your Life

You have the power to change your life. Whether you realize it yet or not, you can do it. Further, you are only one who can do it. Others can help, but the bulk of the work is up to you. Don’t look at that as a negative—realize that you are in control of your own life, and how important it is that you alone have that power! Realizing that the responsibility to change your life is yours might seem intimidating at first, but it is actually very empowering. If your responsibilities to others leave you feeling powerless, then keep reading.

Quit Sacrificing Your Life for Others

First of all, it isn’t helping them either. Anyone who is worth your time, anyone who really cares about you, wants you to be happy. When we are down, when our life feels beyond our control, then we cannot bring joy to others. It is when we’re happy that we can bring happiness to the lives of others.

Do Something, No Matter How Small

Don’t wait. You’ve already waited long enough. Take a step, no matter how small, in the direction that you want your life to go. Don’t focus on the mountain, or you may be too intimidated. Instead, figure out the smallest step you can do right now, and one tiny step at a time, you will climb to the top of the tallest mountain that your imagination can conceive.


God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Reinhold Niebuhr


A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds – and girth – was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership. When the salesman’s pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, “Now what would it take to get you into one of these?”

Looking at the Jeep’s high front seat, the woman replied, “Probably a crowbar.”


“Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes.”

Benjamin Franklin


She said: Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot.

“NO!  NO!  NO!” she screamed.

“Lizzie,” her mother scolded.  “That’s not polite behavior.”

At that, the girl yelled even louder, “NO, THANK YOU!  NO, THANK YOU!”


“Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”

Og Mandino


After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”


“Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who has a low opinion of himself.”

Anthony Trollope


At the end of the college year, a star football player celebrated the relaxation of team curfew by attending a late night campus party. Soon after arriving, he became captivated by a beautiful coed and eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many guys at these parties that she’d date.

“Oh, I have a 3.8, so I’m much more attracted to the strong academic types than to dumb party animals,” she said. “What’s your G. P. A.?”

Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, “I get about 25 in the city and 40 on the highway.”


“Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.”

Will Rogers


A worried father asked his daughter if her latest beau was serious about their relationship.

“I’ll say he is, Daddy,” responded the girl. “Just last night he asked me how much you make, what kind of meals Mom serves, and if you two are easy to get along with.”


Science is true. Don’t be misled by fact.


A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer’s garden.  “I’ll give you my two pennies for that tomato,” said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine. “No,” said the farmer, “I get a dime for a tomato like that one.” The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, “Will you take two pennies for that one?”

“Yes,” replied the farmer, “I’ll give you that one for two cents.”

“OK,” said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer’s hand, “I’ll pick it up in about a week.”


To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.

Henri Bergson


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Join summer in song

In summer, the song sings itself.

William Carlos Williams


Here we are summer with all it has to offer us in the Northern Hemisphere, sun, heat and more. This summer will be especially active for me besides my usual efforts to beat the heat. I have two grandsons being married, one in a week and another at summers end. We will be seeing folks from out of town while enjoying our role in the festivities. It is also the time when more of our grandchildren will be off to college, one to Brown University, another to Clemson, still another to finish at Xavier and one staying close by at Butler. We also have a grandson that has another year in High School and then all seven will have left to start their march to adulthood. While it is fun watching their progress we will miss the fun we had as they grew out of childhood.

While I am required to dodge the heat and sun all is not lost for when I venture out each morning before dawn I get to welcome the sunrise and see a world filled with color before hundreds of people block the view. There is also a lot to be said by only having to wear only one layer of clothes, although some of us miss our ability to hide our flaws under the cover of cool weather clothes. For me, I always welcome the change of seasons for it adds to the variety of life and each brings its own delights as well as its difficulties.


Sweet Summer

Wayne Jarus


The boats adrift in the harbour

As thoughts in a calm mind

A liquid sun beaming today and forever

We hoard happiness a smile at a time


As thoughts in a calm mind

Finding respite in cool shade

A liquid sun beaming today and forever

Butterflies flutter in a golden haze


Finding respite in cool shade

In this pastel world of light and shadows

Butterflies flutter in a golden haze

And crickets sing in motionless meadows


Oh sweet summer stay and sleep

A liquid sun beaming today and forever

Lingering dreams and afternoons of heat

The boats adrift in the harbour.


If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance.

Bern Williams


A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night. The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred… “I’ll die for you!”

The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, “How many times?”


Office rule: Never agree with your boss until he says something.


Molly was hanging up her husband’s jacket when suddenly she became furious. Molly had spotted a long grey hair on the shoulder. “I see,” she screeched like a hawk on the coup-de-grace, “you were at your mother’s to get sympathy again!”


The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.

Francis Maitland Balfour


Max Greenberg was at his favorite eatery, the Second Avenue Deli, when he called over the waiter.

“Yes?” asked the busy waiter.

“Are you sure you’re the waiter I ordered from?” asked Max.

“Why do you ask?” replied the waiter.

“Because I was expecting a much older man by now.”


If you are lavishly praised, enjoy the taste but don’t swallow it whole.


Esther was talking to her friend Sadie. “My son Sammy,” said Esther proudly, “has first class degrees in psychology, economics and politics.”

“You must be proud of him,” said Sadie.

“Yes I am,” replied Esther. “He can’t get a job but at least he knows why.”


GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It’s temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir — just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren’t going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It’s a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You’d better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don’t want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It’s a real stupid movie about …

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.


Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.

John Lubbock


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Time for some changes

“Habit is necessary; it is the habit of having habits, of turning a trail into a rut, that must be incessantly fought against if one is to remain alive.”

Edith Wharton


I think too many of us get so locked into our routine that life starts to become boring to the point we just follow the same steps today as we did yesterday. Unfortunately too many of us don’t realize that we are digging ourselves into a rut. It does not have to be this way, here are some rut busters that I copied from young Dani Diperro’s Positively Present blog.

10 small changes to make today

1. Switch up your typical responses. When someone asks how you’re doing, do you often reply in the exact same way, such as with the word “Fine.” or “Great!”? Most of us have a pretty standard default setting for the way respond to questions we hear all the time. To switch things up, start altering your responses. Really think about the question and answer honestly.

2. Travel an entirely new way to school or work. It’s common to take the exact same route every day (mostly because it’s the fastest or easiest one to take!), but what if you switched it up and took a different route? Even if it takes a little more time, it’s worth traveling down a new road just to give your brain a new point of view to take in. You don’t have to switch it up every day, but it’s worthwhile every once and awhile.

3. Throw out / replace something you complain about. Is there something you’re always complaining about? An appliance that doesn’t work right? A shirt you don’t like but for some reason wear anyway? Most of us have something like that—a thing we moan about but don’t do anything about. Today, throw it out or replace it with something else. Sometimes our complaining is simply a habit—and it’s up to us to change it.

4. Focus on doing one single thing at a time. If you’re a notorious multitasker like myself, focusing on a single activity can be a big challenge—but it’s a worthwhile pursuit. Apparently, studies have shown that you’re more effective if you do only one thing. And, for most of us, intently focusing on a single thing is actually quite a novel activity in itself. Keeping your attention narrow gives you a chance to stay more present too!

5. Take a break at an unusual time and go for a walk. Being outside, even for a short while, seems to offer all sorts of benefits. Take a break at an unusual time—say, 10am instead of 1pm—and go for a short stroll. Switching up the timing of your break will break you from a rut, and enjoying the outdoors gives you an opportunity to appreciate the world outside of your daily routine.

6. Get into bed an hour earlier than usual. Like it or not, you need sleep. Most of us know how much we need, but rarely actually get that amount. Even if you can’t fall asleep right away, getting into bed an hour earlier—with a good book or even a journal—can tweak your nightly routine and, if you’re lucky and can fall asleep, it can also provide you with some additional rest.

7. Enjoy a meal you’ve never had before. It’s perfectly fine to have culinary preferences, but there’s something to be said for trying a new meal. Whether you order in or cook it up yourself, give something new a try. Even if doesn’t make your list of favorites, the experience of trying something new will be invigorating and, at the very least, will help you switch up your routine.

8. Turn off the TV + pick up a book. Mindless television watching can be lovely, particularly after a long day, but tweaking your evening routine and throwing in a book (or magazine or something other than a screen) can provide you with a new kind of relaxation. Even if you’re not a big fan of reading, just give it a try. You might find it surprisingly enjoyable, snuggling up with a good read.

9. Spend time with someone unfamiliar. Now, don’t just go running over to some stranger to switch things up. It’s important to spend time not with someone random, but with someone you know but aren’t too familiar with, like a coworker you interact with frequently but don’t know well. Ask him or her to grab lunch or coffee with you, even if it seems a little random. You never know when you might make a friend!

10. Reverse a habitual schedule. Do you have a pretty standard morning or evening routine? If so, trying reversing it. Instead of brush teeth—wash face—brush hair, try doing the reverse. Or if you normally eat breakfast at home, try grabbing a bite on the way to (or at) work. It might seem silly, but small little tweaks to your routines can be really useful, especially when it comes to being more mindful.


People are incapable of stereotyping you; you stereotype yourself because you’re the one who accepts roles that put you in this rut or in this stereotype.

Eva Mendes


Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what’s in the refrigerator and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the refrigerator.


Behind every great man is a puzzled woman.


“I know they say, ‘Good things come to those who wait,’ but I have problems with that. First of all, if this were true, we’d all be sitting around waiting and waiting, expecting that good things would happen. Then some guy would stand up and yell, ‘Dear God, have we not waited long enough?’ No, you have to wait longer.”


Immortality is my short-term goal.


The farmer stood in his chicken yard watching hundreds of baby chicks running here and there. He kept pointing to them and trying to count them. “One, two, three, four, five, six,… oh, no…” then he would start over, “one, two, three, four, and,… oh, no.”  Then he’d start over again.

Finally he said, “I give up.  They say don’t count your chickens before they hatch but it sure is easier to do that than it is to count them after they hatch.”


It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Robert Benchley


A rabbi suffers a severe heart attack and is confined to the hospital for several weeks. The synagogue’s president pays him a visit.

“I want you to know, Rabbi, that last night the board of directors voted a resolution wishing you a speedy recovery.  And it passed, twelve to nine.”


Most people would like to be delivered from temptation, but would like it to keep in touch.


There are three ways to get things done:

1) do it yourself

2) hire someone to do it

3) forbid your kids to do it


Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny


Patient: During my operation, Nurse, I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word that upset me very much.

Nurse:   What word was that?

Patient: “Oops!”


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful that the risk it took to bloom.”

Anais Nin


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Be who you really are

If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

Author Unknown


Wow, we picked up seven new subscribers yesterday and three are from outside the US. So wouldn’t you know it I am running behind with a full schedule so their first experience will be a return to yesteryear.

So here is a reprint of Ray’s Daily first published on June 20, 2005


I have been thinking lately about self-confidence. Probably this is because I have been spending time with people who are in the process of reassessing where they are and where they are going. Unfortunately some do so because of a life changing event, a job loss as an example. Often I find that their confidence level is low, and most of the time it is because they have chosen to measure the wrong things. Sally Fields had it right when she said “It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” We are who we are, and we can have confidence in what we want to do and how we do it because it is up to us. It is only when we feel we are expected to behave differently and don’t do so that we start to let it get to us.

I may have told you before that I have reached the point in my life where I say “This is as good as I get,” it is up to you to decide if that is good enough for you, chose me or not, my life goes on. I think sometimes we do it to ourselves, if I dwell upon the fact that I am a lousy ball player and think that that demeans me, instead of realizing that I am a lousy ball player because I don’t have the physical skills or that I choose other things to train for, I may lose self-confidence. If I fail at something I have three choices, I can recognize that it was the wrong thing for me to do in the first place, I can work realistically to improve, or I can wallow in self-pity. I honestly believe self-confidence comes from our ability to understand who we are and then being what we are rather than by passing tests imposed by others. Every moment we lose trying to be what we are not is a moment of our life that might have been enjoyed but is now lost forever.

I want to measure my life not by the plaques on my wall but by the moments I remember and the friends who have accepted me as I am. You are what you are, and that is special, after all we only send the daily to special people. And if this is as good is you get, that is fine with me.


Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt


Sure signs of aging

You sit down to breakfast and hear “Snap, Crackle, and Pop” … and you haven’t even poured milk on your cereal yet.

You get up to change the TV channel and decide as long as you’re up, you might as well go to bed.

You start complaining that “They’re building car seats too darn low!”

Your ears perk up when a LAXATIVE COMMERCIAL comes on TV.

You call the place you keep leftovers the “ICEBOX”.

No matter where you sit, no matter where you are, THERE’S ALWAYS A DRAFT ON YOU!

You complain that the cleaners have started shrinking your clothes.

You wonder why everyone else is starting to MUMBLE.

Lawn care has become a pretty BIG part of your life.

Your underwear starts creeping up on you …AND YOU ENJOY IT!

You start videotaping DAYTIME game shows.

When you do the HOKEY POKEY, and you “put your left hip out”…IT STAYS OUT!

One of the throw pillows on your bed is a HOT WATER BOTTLE.

You think of a “quickie” as napping at a traffic light.


Due to the constant fluctuation in customer personalities, we cannot be responsible for the mental stability of any one member of our staff.

(Seen in a gas station in Toronto, Ontario, Canada)


Our family held a reunion when my mother was 88 years old, with grandchildren and great-grandchildren attending. The talk turned to honeymoons, and my three daughters began to tell about their trips to Las Vegas, Chicago, and Niagara Falls. One of my daughters turned to my mother.

“Grandma, where did you go on your honeymoon?” she asked.

Mother never hesitated. “Upstairs!” she said.


Six essential qualities that are the key to success: Sincerity, personal integrity, humility, courtesy, wisdom, charity.

William Menninger


He didn’t like the casserole,

And he didn’t like my cake.

My biscuits were too hard. . .

Not like his mother used to make.


I didn’t perk the coffee right,

He didn’t like the stew,

I didn’t mend his socks

The way his mother used to do.


I pondered for an answer

And was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked him. . .

Like his mother used to do!


Do what you love, love what you do, and deliver more than you promise.

Harvey Mackay


A salesman, engineer, and a technician are driving just outside of town when they get a flat tire. The three get out of the car and scratch their heads.

The salesman says, “Maybe I should walk into town and get us a new tire. I know that I can bargain with the man at the parts store and get us a great deal.”

The engineer stops him, saying, “No, before you do that, we’ll have to do some computations; figuring the grade of the road, the asphalt temperature, and the average rate of speed we will be traveling, to know what kind of tire you should buy.”

The technician just laughs and shakes his head. . .”No, no, no! What’s wrong with you guy’s? We have a spare tire right in the trunk — now all we have to do is start swapping tires until we find the flat one.”


“There exists a widespread myth that humans should learn about sex from their parents. My relationship with my father nearly ended when he tried to teach me how to drive. I can’t imagine our relationship having survived his instructing me how to have sex.” –

Bob Smith


Angry man:  Look at this picture and tell me what you see.

Second man:  That’s me and your wife dancing.

Angry man:  Uh-huh, and look at this other picture and tell what you see.

Second man:  That’s me and your wife kissing on the beach.

Angry man:  Well?  What are you going to do about these pictures?

Second man:  I’ll take three of those, billfold size, and one of those, eight-by-ten.


From the safety information card in America West Airline seat pocket:

“If you are sitting in an exit row and cannot read this card, please tell a crew member.”


You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.

You’re on your own.

And you know what you know.

You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

Dr. Seuss


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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