Ray's musings and humor

Things Change

Ray’s Daily

July 20, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

There are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes and change.

You can’t avoid change, it’s mandatory, progress however is optional.

Bill R. Good, Jr.

A Ray’s Daily reprint from July 20, 2006

 ~~~

I had lunch today with one of my favorite people. She had just returned from Israel where she attended a conference in preparation for a graduate class on Middle East conflict that she will teach in the fall. As often happens we worked on solving all the world’s problems and as always happens we didn’t. In the conversation I suggested that too many of us have become so distracted that we have forgotten what constitutes the good life, times in the past when we got along and overcame our differences so we could work together for the common good.

I think we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to not become so distracted that we lose sight of what we might do. I thought about that a little after lunch and decided to share with you something I put in a daily a few years back, here it is:

If you are like I am you sometimes wonder where your memory has gone. Fortunately for me I seem to be able to forget most of the bad things. Names of people I meet often return slowly, many times not until after they pass by. Even little things like standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open wondering why I am there is one of my life’s little adventures. But in the main, I like you, have many memories that I cherish, those that I can pull up in found remembrance of another time. Someone sent me the following awhile ago and I thought we could use the advice. It is our life; we might as well enjoy it. To paraphrase something a friend has often said, if you think you can’t, you won’t.

Do you remember the times when life seemed almost magical? Do you remember those days when you felt as if you were floating on air? Stop for a moment and fill yourself with those feelings of how very good, how very special life can be. Though the events may be distant in space and time, the positive feelings they bring can always be with you. Remember often how good life can be. For the more you remember, the more life you give to your best possibilities.

If you focus your attention on the worries, anxieties, conflicts and shortcomings, those are the things that will grow. Focus instead on how good life can be, and with every moment you’ll be making it better. Look up, rather than down, and you’ll see an infinitely bigger, more positive horizon. Celebrate life’s real and substantial goodness, and that goodness will come to dominate your reality. Take a moment, early and often, to remember how very good life can be. And make the goodness grow ever stronger.

If we don’t care and just look away, are we any different than those who have had responsibility for all the problems we face today?

~~~

Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death.

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

I lived in Chicago many years ago, we lived in a third floor apartment and had no garage so we had to park at the curb in front of our building. Sometimes the snow got really heavy, when it did my wife and my kids would shovel out a spot and guard it until I got home from work. It is in that memory that I share this big city tip.

This guy drives up to his house and where he parks is full of snow. So he parks in a nearby parking lot and walks back home to shovel out a car-sized space in front of his house. It takes hours to shovel, but finally done, he walks back to the lot to get his car. When he returns home, he finds that the space has been taken by some other car. He is, well, upset.  

What most people do is write nasty notes etc. and place them on the windshield of the offending vehicle. Police sometimes get involved however, when the individual vents his wrath in somewhat more violent means. Tires and throats have been slashed over this. This guy decides to get creative. Instead of doing the usual nasty, he got out his garden hose and watered the automobile down, real well. I mean, very, very thoroughly. The water of course froze solid. When the owner returned, instead of a car, he found a car-sized Popsicle.  

The note on the car read: “You want the space? Here, it’s yours until spring!”

~~~

Those who wish to sing, always find a song.

Swedish Proverb

~~~

He was a young Pastor, and as usual, he was running late getting into town…. and he was speeding.  

Then to top it off, he looked in the review mirror only to see the lights of the Highway Patrol!  Already late for church and figuring he’d try for leniency, he quickly slapped his Bible on the dash of his car as the trooper walked up to the window and asked to see his drivers license.  

Looking at his name and title on the license, the trooper asked, “You’re a Reverend huh?” The young Pastor affirmed that.  

The trooper then began writing out a speeding ticket and said, “Well, Reverend; your speedometer runneth over.”  

As the trooper handed him the ticket and started to walk away, his last comment was, “Oh, by the way…. the Bible on the dash…. nice touch.” 

~~~

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.”

Henny Youngman

~~~

If you need a laugh, read through these Children’s Science Exam Answers. These are real answers given by children.  

Q: Name the four seasons.   A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.   

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.   A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.  

Q: How is dew formed?   A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.  

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?   A: Keep it in the cow.  

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?   A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.  

Q: What are steroids?   A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.  

Q: What happens to your body as you age?   A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.  

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?   A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.  

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.   A: Premature death.  

Q: What is artificial insemination?   A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.  

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (ergo.,   abdomen.)   A: The body is consisted into three parts— the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.  

Q: What is the fibula?   A: A small lie.  

Q: What does “varicose” mean?   A: Nearby.  

Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”   A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word “benign” mean?’   A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.  

~~~

“I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.”

Harry Truman

~~~

One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers “what it means to be British?” Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland.  

“Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?  

“Suspicion of anything foreign.”

~~~

“I got a postcard from my gynecologist. It said, ‘Did you know it’s time for your annual check-up?’ No. But now my postman does.”

Cathy Ladman

~~~

Good and evil do not befall men without reason.

Heaven sends them happiness or misery according to their conduct.

Confucius

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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