Ray's musings and humor

Ray did it again!

“Perfectionism is a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world”

Robert Hillyer

 

 

 

As you know I never claim to be perfect, in fact I always include a senility disclaimer at the end of each Daily. Unfortunately I frequently move from semi-perfect to far from perfect. Yesterday was one of those days. First let me correct something that was in the Daily. Yesterday I wrote:

 

How about joining me, if you live in Central Indiana and want to participate in a selfish act, come with me to the Salvation Army Disaster Relief training on Saturday February 20th. I am taking it because I am confident that if nothing else I can hand out doughnuts and coffee to people who can do more at a disaster site. Seriously if you are interested let me know and I’ll get you the details. 

 

Of course the 20th is a Sunday not a Saturday and if you showed up then you would be six days early for the class which is on Saturday, February 26th. I have had two of our readers say they were signing up I hope more will as well.

 

If that mistake was not bad enough this one is the topper, I left the house at 6:30 AM to go to a 7 AM meeting and as I was tooling along one of our main thoroughfares in the right lane of the three lane road I ran up onto an ice bank that was a couple of feet high. No matter how it seems I do know that I should not expect the car to drive itself. Fortunately a good Samaritan came by and we were able to get the car off the ice pile. Later I found that I had damaged the plastic decorative under bumper that winds around the car. I would expect a replacement at today’s prices would be a $1000 or more so hopefully there is an alternative.

I am a great believer in the adage that there is a positive aspect to every negative event. In this case all I could come up with was that everything else after that seemed better than it probably was. Thank goodness that it was Valentines Day and that I am married to a woman who has learned not to expect too much from her husband for she was very forgiving and didn’t point out my stupidity once.

I think I shared with you one time that I thought perfection was boring and that imperfection made life interesting. Yesterday was extremely interesting and I hope I remain bored for a day or two. Ain’t life grand!

~~~

A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections

Chinese Proverb

~~~

He said it’s Great To Be a Man because:

* My same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

* I don’t have to shave below my neck.

* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

* I can “do” my nails with a pocketknife.

* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

~~~

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

~~~

I’ve always ordered beverages one simple way: “A Coke, please.”

Lately, though, this hasn’t seemed to work. Waitresses now often respond, “I’m sorry, we don’t have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb.”

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I’d make life easier.  So one day I simply asked the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a “dark, carbonated beverage.”

The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked, “Ma’am, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?”

~~~

“There are two things I’ve learned: There is no Cinderella. And, I’m not her Prince.”

~~~

PARENTHOOD

She told me that yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:     

Your Clothes

-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.  

-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.  

-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.  

The Baby’s Name

-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.  

-2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.  

-3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.  

Preparing for the Birth

-1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.  

-2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

-3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

-1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

-2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.  

-3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?  

Worries

-1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.  

-2nd  baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to take your firstborn.  

-3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.  

Activities

-1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby wing, and Baby Story Hour.  

-2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.  

-3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.  

Going Out

-1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

-2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.  

-3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.  

At Home

-1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.  

-2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.  

-3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

~~~

I cling to my imperfection, as the very essence of my being.

Anatole France

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana 

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world. 

 

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