Ray's Daily

Ray’s not here

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.

Edwin H. Chapin

Hi everyone. Ray’s not here he left for an early morning meeting and I think he has a full day after that. Since he was out until late last night with his 16 year old granddaughter I doubt he will not have much brainpower when he does get here. He did say they saw Hairspray at our local dinner theatre and they thought it was great. Rather than keeping the presses warmed up only to have him put together a mediocre Daily I am going to take the bull by the horns, send you an old one and get out of here. I hope you have a good day.

Ray’s Computer

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published on February 16, 2004

I hope it is my imagination, but it seems like there is more bitterness in people these days. Friends seem so polarized by politics that they seem to have lost their objectivity. Everyday we read about the results of road rage and confrontation. Are we as a people becoming so selfish that we are at risk losing of our humanity? I sure hope not. I am glad I know all of you, because so many of you are selfless and continue to enjoy life with confidence and concern for others. I guess goodness is not often recognized. Each day you make my day better, thank you.

~~~

Heavenly Father,

Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can’t make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

Author unknown.

~~~

To err is human,

to forgive is divine.

Alexander Pope

~~~

Age Might Be Creeping Up On You …

You like to be in crowds because they keep you from falling down.

Your favorite section of the newspaper is “25 Years Ago Today”.

The parts that have arthritis are the parts where you feel best.

A big evening with your friends is sitting around comparing living wills

Your clothes go into the overnight bag so you can fill the suitcase with your pills.

Somebody you consider an old-timer calls you an old-timer.

Your idea of a change of scenery is looking to the left or right.

Your knees buckle, but your belt won’t.

~~~

“A man needs self-acceptance or he can’t live with himself; he needs self-criticism or others can’t live with him.”

James A. Pike

~~~

Budget cuts to the army forced the training team to start doing mock combat using no explosives, guns, or basically any equipment what-so-ever, so when it came to a training scenario, the Sergeant in charge tells his recruits that they are under imaginary fire, and what do they do? So all of the recruits bar one scatter and get down behind “stuff”, and get into returning fire positions.

The Sergeant notices this one recruit standing out in the open, quite relaxed and unfazed. Yelling, the Sergeant asks “What the devil do you think you’re doing? You’re under fire!” So the recruit takes one step to the left and remains still.

Now the Sergeant’s really annoyed. He yells again, “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? You’re under imaginary fire, take cover!” The recruit turns to him and replies, “I’m taking cover behind this imaginary tree Sergeant!”

~~~

As I said before, I will not repeat myself.

~~~

Carolyn provides us these insights from Maxine:

1. Maxine on “Driver Safety” – “I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.”

2. Maxine on “Life” – “Life is like an oven. It burns my buns.”

3. Maxine on “Housework” – “I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.”

4. Maxine on “Lawn Care” – “The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower.  I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.”

5. Maxine on “Body Piercing” – “I’d get my tongue pierced, but I still have a little bit of brain left in my head.”

6. Maxine on “the Perfect Man” – “All I’m looking for is a guy who’ll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.”

7. Maxine on “Work” – “My performance at work has really improved over the years. Now I can nail a co-worker with a paper-clip shot from a rubber band at 20 yards.”

8. Maxine on “the Technology Revolution” – “My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.”

9. Maxine on “Aging” – “Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita.”

~~~

“Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin a special announcement – the National Security Alert has now been lowered back down to ‘elevated’. Have you got that? It’s been lowered to ‘elevated’. I hope that clears up any confusion.”

Jay Leno

~~~

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says “Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!”

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked, “How did you do it?”

“Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, ‘Do you want to get a 3-day pass?’ So we exchanged tanks!”

~~~

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

~~~

A Texan is bragging to a Rhode Islander. “In Texas,” he drawls, “you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall.”

“Yeah”, replies the Yankee, “We have slow trains in Rhode Island too.”

~~~

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

Dalai Lama

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray did it again!

“Perfectionism is a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world”

Robert Hillyer

As you know I never claim to be perfect, in fact I always include a senility disclaimer at the end of each Daily. Unfortunately I frequently move from semi-perfect to far from perfect. Yesterday was one of those days. First let me correct something that was in the Daily. Yesterday I wrote:

How about joining me, if you live in Central Indiana and want to participate in a selfish act, come with me to the Salvation Army Disaster Relief training on Saturday February 20^th. I am taking it because I am confident that if nothing else I can hand out doughnuts and coffee to people who can do more at a disaster site. Seriously if you are interested let me know and I’ll get you the details. 

Of course the 20^th is a Sunday not a Saturday and if you showed up then you would be six days early for the class which is on Saturday, February 26^th. I have had two of our readers say they were signing up I hope more will as well.

If that mistake was not bad enough this one is the topper, I left the house at 6:30 AM to go to a 7 AM meeting and as I was tooling along one of our main thoroughfares in the right lane of the three lane road I ran up onto an ice bank that was a couple of feet high. No matter how it seems I do know that I should not expect the car to drive itself. Fortunately a good Samaritan came by and we were able to get the car off the ice pile. Later I found that I had damaged the plastic decorative under bumper that winds around the car. I would expect a replacement at today’s prices would be a $1000 or more so hopefully there is an alternative.

I am a great believer in the adage that there is a positive aspect to every negative event. In this case all I could come up with was that everything else after that seemed better than it probably was. Thank goodness that it was Valentines Day and that I am married to a woman who has learned not to expect too much from her husband for she was very forgiving and didn’t point out my stupidity once.

I think I shared with you one time that I thought perfection was boring and that imperfection made life interesting. Yesterday was extremely interesting and I hope I remain bored for a day or two. Ain’t life grand!

~~~

A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections

Chinese Proverb

~~~

He said it’s Great To Be a Man because:

* My same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

* I don’t have to shave below my neck.

* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

* I can “do” my nails with a pocketknife.

* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

~~~

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

~~~

I’ve always ordered beverages one simple way: “A Coke, please.”

Lately, though, this hasn’t seemed to work. Waitresses now often respond, “I’m sorry, we don’t have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb.”

Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I’d make life easier.  So one day I simply asked the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a “dark, carbonated beverage.”

The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked, “Ma’am, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?”

~~~

“There are two things I’ve learned: There is no Cinderella. And, I’m not her Prince.”

~~~

PARENTHOOD

She told me that yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:     

Your Clothes

-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.  

-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.  

-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.  

The Baby’s Name

-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.  

-2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.  

-3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.  

Preparing for the Birth

-1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.  

-2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

-3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

-1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

-2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.  

-3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?  

Worries

-1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.  

-2nd  baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to take your firstborn.  

-3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.  

Activities

-1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby wing, and Baby Story Hour.  

-2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.  

-3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.  

Going Out

-1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

-2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.  

-3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.  

At Home

-1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.  

-2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.  

-3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

~~~

I cling to my imperfection, as the very essence of my being.

Anatole France

~~~

I’m selfish, I volunteer

Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.

Erma Brombeck

A very good friend of mine is a people serving organizations link to businesses, service organizations, churches, individual’s  actually to everyone who may not know the details of the good works of her colleagues as they serve thousands of people every year. My friend is in the process of putting together an event that will honor current supporters as well as showcase the organizations accomplishments to others. As we talked about the event I again realized how often we limit our focus to what we do for the outside world through the gift of time, talent and/or treasure by volunteers without recognizing that we who volunteer are the real winners. I know many folks who want to find something they can do to give their life more meaning who are unaware of all the volunteer opportunities there are. Many who are looking for an antidote for the lonesomeness and isolation that often comes with retirement and aging can find it wherever they live. I also meet young people who are ready and willing to do some good but just don’t know where to start.

• The first thing my friends organization does for me is that it provides me a place where I can make a contribution, I can’t lift as much as I once could so they don’t ask me to lift, I can’t move as fast either, so they don’t ask me to run, fortunately there are serving opportunities for almost everyone.
• The second really meaningful thing I get is a sense of community, I work with people I enjoy, many who become friends.
• The third thing that I get from the gift I have been given is the sense of well being that comes from knowing that at the end of the day I did something worthwhile. And what pleases me the most is that it seems to have rubbed off on my children and grandchildren for they love volunteering.

I think it is time that we quit making volunteering appear to be something requiring personal sacrifice, something done for only altruistic reasons. It is time to shout out to others that it provides a place for our hearts and minds, it allows us to demonstrate our humanness, and it brings us together.

I know there are cynics everywhere, I know I often get asked why I do what I do, I just feel sorry for them since they miss the joy that comes from working shoulder to shoulder with others. It is not important that everybody joins up, for you and me are two, and that friend of ours makes three, and the kids get us to 10 and everyone of us makes a difference.

Yep, for me my volunteer efforts are a selfish act because I get so much more out of it than I give. And you know what? No one can take what I choose to do as a volunteer away from me.

How about joining me, if you live in Central Indiana and want to participate in a selfish act, come with me to the Salvation Army Disaster Relief training on Saturday February 20^th. I am taking it because I am confident that if nothing else I can hand out doughnuts and coffee to people who can do more at a disaster site. Seriously if you are interested let me know and I’ll get you the details.

~~~

“When kids volunteer it tells others that they don’t have to be perfect or famous or even grown up to make a difference.”

Kalynn Dobos, age 7

~~~

Penny, a good Assessment nurse was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call.  She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm.  After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will.

When she got home and told her husband of what she had seen and done. Her husband asked, “Was the patient that bad?”

Penny said, “No, I just didn’t want to be the only sucker called out on a night like this.”

~~~

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

~~~

Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn:

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

4. The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.

5. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.

7. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”

8. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”

10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

11. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.

12. You should not confuse your career with your life.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.

14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

16. Your true friends love you, anyway.

17. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

~~~

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

~~~

On a train from London to Manchester, an American was telling off the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.  “You English are too stuffy.  You set yourselves apart too much.  Look at me…  I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood.  What do you say to that?”

The Englishman replied, with a smile, “Very sporting of your Mother”

~~~

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her …or something like that.

~~~

At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena, Mont., lawyers, sponsored by legal secretaries, it was time to announce the Boss of the Year. The master of ceremonies began: “First of all, our winner is a graduate of the University of Montana. So that already eliminates some of you as candidates. “Our winner also is a partner in a downtown Helena law firm. That eliminates some more of you. “Our nominee is honest, upright, dedicated…” A voice from the audience cut in: “Well, there go the rest of us!”

~~~

“The road to success is not crowded. Because while most are looking for ways to take, the truly successful people are finding ways to give. With a giving attitude, every situation is an opportunity for success.”

Unknown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun. 

It’s time to quit quitting

Success is a tale of obstacles overcome, and for every obstacle overcome, an excuse not used.

Robert Brault,

It seems that lately I have become more prone to delaying tasks for no real reason other than laziness or avoidance, it can’t be procrastination or could it? Is the rationale for delay nothing more than an excuse to avoid doing something of value? if the truth be known in my case it probably is. You may have heard me talk before about how things that are not critical and really not that important can create unnecessary burdens, well that continues to be the trap I often find myself in.

My problem has always been that I maintain a triage discipline at the wrong end of time. For years it has only been after the backlogs get so large and the piles so high that they can no longer be avoided that I go through the process of throwing out the stuff that is really not worth any effort, and those things that were not of great enough interest to attract my attention, and then unfortunately, things of value that got lost in the shuffle until it was too late to do anything with them.

Of course the answer is to triage everything upon receipt. If something is not all that important why put it on the list in the first place? Not only that, I am at the point in life where I am my own boss so if I am really not all that fired up about something why take it on? I guess part of my problem is that I am interested in too many things and would never have time to do all I would like to do but more times than not I am not honest enough with myself to recognize my limitations. So this time it is going to be different, I’ll clean up the stacks, set priorities, take action and clear the decks and never ever get bogged down again; at least not until next time. Until then, no more excuses, no more procrastination (starting tomorrow).

I think I better read what Ralph Marston sent me about excuses again.

Laugh at every excuse

The easiest thing in the world is to come up with an excuse for not taking action. No matter what the situation, there’s always an excuse that sounds perfectly reasonable and that can provide you with permission to do nothing.

Rarely does it help to fight against the excuses, because that just leads to even stronger and more compelling excuses. So how do you get around them?

Connect with a dream that is bigger than any excuse could possibly be. Grab hold of a dream that’s so compelling it makes you laugh at every possible excuse.

If your goal is to do what you don’t really want to do anyway, even the weakest excuse can stop you cold. If, however, your goal is tied to an authentic, personally meaningful dream, that’s a completely different situation.

And that makes perfect sense. Because if it doesn’t really matter to you anyway, there’s not much point in spending your precious time on it.

Choose instead to live the beautiful, meaningful dreams that you truly desire to live. And no setback, no challenge, no excuse will have the power to even slow you down.

OK, Ralph, starting tomorrow I’ll change my procrastination nightmares into fulfilling dreams. Maybe I’ll just throw everything away and start fresh  oh wouldn’t that be nice. Well since tomorrow is Saturday and it will be the weekend maybe I better wait to start not waiting until Monday.

~~~

If you don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as another.

Yiddish Proverb

~~~

This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old and New Testaments. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.)

1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.

3. Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

6. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

7. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.

8. The seventh amendment is “Thou shalt not admit adultery.”

9. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

10. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. 11. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

12. Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

13. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

14. When the three wise guys from the East side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

15. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

16. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, “a man doth not live by sweat alone.”

17. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

18. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

19. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

20. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

21. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

22. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

~~~

Help beautify our dumps. Throw away something pretty.

~~~

After reviewing my current progress I regret that I did not make these New Year resolutions:

Gain weight. At least 10 pounds.

Stop exercising. Waste of time.

Read less. Makes you think.

Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

Get in a whole NEW rut!

Create loose ends.

Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.

~~~

I can resist anything but temptation.

~~~

News from the British papers:

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West gas said, “We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It’s possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.” (The Daily Telegraph)

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It’s a Special Branch vehicle and they don’t want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, “This sort of thing is all too common”. (The Times)

~~~

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”

Robert F. Bennett

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

The challange makes us stronger

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.

Jewish Proverb 

Frequently over the last week or so I let what I perceived to be adversity take it’s toll. Between really lousy weather, a lingering cold, some cancelled and missed events, a broken Sirius receiver, my inability to successfully install a new piece of electronics and a few other things I let myself feel that my luck had run out and I was destined to suffer the consequences. Of course the reality was that I was reacting badly to a set of events that in reality were no more than inconveniences. Fortunately I realized how foolish allowing these things to get to me really was.

Over the years I have often found that just telling myself that the world would not end or this too will pass and the like were enough to keep me from overreacting or letting a negative experience take me down. For me it I don’t think it is unbridled optimism, rather it is just the realization that most things are not that important and the ones that are do not get resolved with woeful wailing, rather accepting the reality and making the best of it allows you to move on.

Here are some thoughts I picked up in an article on Overcoming Adversity that was written by Chuck Gallozzi that I feel have merit, I hope you do too.

Pain, suffering, stress, and other difficulties are the admission tickets to the game of life. But, at times, we cannot help suspecting that life would be much more pleasant without the hassles. In a world without hurdles, there are no champions; without suffering, there are no saints; without battles, there are no victories; without rain, no rainbows.

Points to Consider

1. Adversity is unavoidable. So, don’t fight it, accept it. Develop the proper attitude, for as Havelock Ellis wrote, Pain and death are part of life. To reject them is to reject life itself. Although pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. It is not misfortune that produces suffering, but an improper reaction to it.

2. Realize that misfortune tells what fortune is. We need winter to appreciate spring, rain to appreciate the sunshine, and adversity to be thankful for the calm after the storm.

3. Recognize misfortune for what it is: an opportunity to lift yourself to a higher level. Sailors caught in a storm should prayer not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear. Why should they accept the storm? Because a smooth sea never made a skillful mariner.

4. Lessen your suffering by refusing to linger on past difficulties or expecting future ones. Problems of the present are difficult enough to deal with. Don’t add to your misery by regretting the past or worrying about what might happen in the future.

5. Realize it could be worse. Count your blessings. Keep in mind the Persian proverb: I cried because I had no shoes until I saw someone with no feet.

One of the great things that comes with age is the realization that working through adverse situations strengthens us to the point that each event becomes easier to deal with. Probably equally important is understanding that a lot of what we encounter or worry about is not that big a deal.

So now will somebody please get my new Blue Ray player to communicate with my WI FI network before I get wild and crazy!

~~~

Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.

Og Mandino

~~~

As an act of charity, the wife of a local magistrate in a poor district of London invited a little girl from the area to tea.

The girl sat down at the tea table, looked around, and then turned to her hostess. “I see you keep your house very clean,” she said. “Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know.”

The magistrate’s wife smiled at the girl and winked at her husband.

The little girl went on, “Is your husband working?”

“Of course he is!” said the lady. “Why do you ask such a strange question?”

The girl continued. “And are you both keeping off the drink?”

“Why, what an impertinent little girl you are!” cried the lady. “When you are invited to tea, you should try to behave like a lady, my child.”

“Oh, but I am trying,” replied the little girl. “When ladies visit our house, they always ask these questions.”

~~~

“I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.”

Tommy Cooper

~~~

Three pastors were having lunch in a diner.

One said, “You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything–noise, spray, cats–nothing seems to scare them away.”

Another said, “Me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve even had the place fumigated, and they won’t go away.”

The third said, “I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. Haven’t seen one back since!”

~~~

“I hate housework!  You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.”

Joan Rivers

~~~

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it.  Fifty people swindled!  Fifty people swindled!”

Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page.  Finding nothing, the man said, “There’s nothing in here about fifty people being swindled.”

The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, “Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!”

~~~

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

~~~

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him.  “What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically.  “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”

Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, Boss.

The wife decided to drive me to the station.  She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river — look, my suit’s still damp — ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson’s helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.”

“You’ll have to do better than that, Jones,” said the boss, obviously disappointed.  “No woman can get ready in ten minutes.”

~~~

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

~~~

An elderly, wealthy woman in Florida was boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and on about her two remarkable grandchildren.

Unable to stand it any longer, a fellow sunbather interrupted her.

“Tell me, Mrs. Rosenwasser, how old are your grandsons?”

Mrs. Rosenwasser gave her a grateful smile and replied, “The doctor is four and the lawyer is six.”

~~~

Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Most of all other people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.

Jeffrey Gitomer

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Don’t stand too close

“Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.”

Wilfred A. Peterson

My satellite radio is broken so no BBC or international news, I have been unable to connect up the BlueRay WI FI gift I received to my network, my killer cold kept me from attending a National Security lecture at Butler University last evening, I attended a critical early morning meeting in spite of my cold and now I am home with a headache runny nose and all that stuff. And now it is time for the Daily and since I am not feeling all that positive I will again use a reprint. So goodby friends I hope you are well and that I will be again soon.

Ray’s Daily first published February 9, 2005

In the last few days one friend shared with me that a project she had worked on for some time was not going to turn out the way she hoped. Someone else shared with me that his Mother had passed away while she was with her family for Christmas. Another friend told me that he needed to make a mid-life career change. For many these kind of events can be debilitating, those of us who are not facing the same problems can never really understand the impact it can have on our lives, all we can do is offer empathy and support. those I know continue to demonstrate their strength and resiliency. I think much of how we handle our lives comes from our attitude; I know these friends will demonstrate a positive attitude as they move ahead.

In that vein I offer you the following.

~~~

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than whatever other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it.

And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.

Charles Swindoll

~~~

Ralph shared this story with us.

A grammar school teacher from Miami, remembers this Oscar-worthy birth tableau from one of her students.

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two children myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own first-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a child, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break and some guaranteed entertainment.

Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Children bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Anna, a very bright, very outgoing child, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant and says, “This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord. “She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The children are watching her in amazement. “Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going Oh, oh, oh!”

Anna puts a hand behind her back and groans. “She walked around the house for, like an hour, Oh, oh, oh!” Now the child is doing this hysterical duck walk; holding her back and groaning. “My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.” Anna lies down with her back against the wall. “And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!”

This child is sitting on the floor with her little hands miming water flowing away. “Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push, and breathe, breathe. “They started counting, but never even got past ten.” “Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff. They said it was from Mom’s play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there for him to do.”

Then Anna stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Anna comes along!

~~~

Someday they’ll invent a pill that is so powerful that you’ll have to be in perfect health to take it.

Herb Shriner

~~~

The late great Johnny Carson was the master joke teller as you can see below.

“I was so naïve as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”

“According to statistics, it’s a lot easier to get hit by lightning than to win a Lotto jackpot. The good side: You don’t hear from your relatives.”

“For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”

“Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.”

“If God didn’t want man to hunt, He wouldn’t have given us plaid shirts.”

“The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.”

“The Surgeon General announced today the ultimate safe-sex product. It’s called a Rubik’s condom: By the time you’ve figured out how to use it, you’ve lost the urge.”

“When turkeys mate they think of swans.”

“What’s all this fuss about plutonium? How could something named after a Disney character be dangerous?”

“The Oscars are two hours of sparkling entertainment spread over four hours.”

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”

~~~

She said:

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied “I’m not sure.”

“Look in your underwear, Grandma,” he advised.  “Mine says I’m four.”

~~~

She also said:

Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to handle the customer who asks, “What’s good tonight?”

Obviously, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good.  I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband.

He calmly replied, “Anything over $13.95.”

~~~

Have you noticed how living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Mardi Gras.

~~~

While shopping in a supermarket in Florida, I heard over the PA system:

“A wallet containing a large sum of money was found, but it contains no ID.  Will those laying claim to it please form a double line at the customer service counter?”

~~~

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

~~~

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.

They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,

“Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor’s wife.”

~~~

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

~~~

Jill:  Look, Mary!  That couple at the corner table’s getting engaged.  He just gave her a ring.  How did your ex propose to you?

Mary:  Well, he said, “If you get pregnant, I’ll marry you.”

~~~

Ability is what you’re capable of doing.

Motivation determines what you do.

Attitude determines how well you do it.

Lee Holz

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

What I learned yesterday

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.”

Thomas Merton

I was at a meeting yesterday where a university friend who has known me for thirty years or more asked me if I was a busy as I use to be. My response was that I was not and that I was retired and then reported on what I am currently doing. As I rattled off the list I realized I had lied, I am just as busy as I always was, maybe sometimes even more so. Later as I thought about it I realized that it is not whether what consumes our time is a job or some other activity it is how much of our lives are consumed by our tasks.

In the past I have often touted the value of balance in our lives and that we needed to keep our jobs, our families, and time for ourselves in synch so we could get the most out of the days given to us. Well I now will admit I often don’t practice what I preach. It does not matter if we are working or not, nor if we are too busy or too idle or not, nor if we are in constant hibernation or constantly adventuring. What matters is that we keep or lives in balance. In my case that means better self discipline. It means giving active and leisure time appropriate priorities. It also means being careful to not only to bite off only what I can chew but also biting off only what I need to chew to stay in balance. I have been around long enough to know that we often do less when we try to do more than we should.

I often suggest that as we age we need to stay active and get out as much as we can out of life since there is so much we can do. However I also do understand we move a little slower and sometimes need more rest. What I am finding out is that if we leave the gold in our golden years out so long that it loses its luster we need to bring it in and let rest in order to be repolished occasionally. I would write more but I think I am going to quit and take a polishing nap.

In the meantime here is something for you that I got from the web.

Three simple ways to begin building a greater sense of inner peace and harmony:

1) Quiet time.

One of the first things we tend to sacrifice when we’re busy is our personal time. Instead we devote all of our energy and attention to caring for others, multi-tasking, meeting responsibilities and “being productive.” Over time this depletes our energy and we begin to feel more and more burdened by our responsibilities.

To live a more balanced life, quiet time to yourself is CRUCIAL. You may believe that you don’t have any time available for yourself, but something amazing happens when you consistently MAKE time; you find yourself feeling happier and more energetic, your focus improves – and you still get plenty done!

2) Self-care.

Beyond making time for things you enjoy, there are other ways to nurture and love yourself on a daily basis. Getting a full 8 hours of sleep (or as much as you personally need) is a great start, as well as eating nutritious food, exercising daily and speaking kindly to yourself.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re really tired or stressed, even the smallest problem can seem like a nightmare? On the other hand, when you’re feeling well-rested and centered, you’re much better able to handle upsets.

3) Flexibility.

Did you know that one of the biggest causes of stress is rigid expectations? We all do it from time to time; get a mental picture of how our lives “should be” – and get really annoyed when our outer circumstances don’t cooperate! One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is a flexible state of mind. In other words, learn how to detach from unrealistic expectations and go with the flow.

When you have a flexible mind-set, you’re able to deal with crises and problems much more easily because you’re not working against a preconceived notion of how things “should be”. You’re able to tap into your creative problem-solving skills and move through challenges without all the drama and frustration.

~~~

Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.

Brian Tracy

~~~

Some of us remember when:

Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.

When Kool-Aid was the only drink for kids, other than milk and sodas.

When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers), and the only time you wore them at school, was for “gym.”

When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.

When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.

When nobody owned a purebred dog.

When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a huge bonus.

When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.

When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.

When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.

When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday.

When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking,….. for free, every time and you didn’t pay for air. And you got trading stamps to boot!

When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.

When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.

When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed…and did!

When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.

~~~

Billing’s Law:  Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Josh Billings

~~~

She said she learned this from the kids:

•There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

•If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

•A 4 year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

•If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

•Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

~~~

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. “Sure,” she replied, “but not the same ones.”

~~~

Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Robert Fulghum

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.