Ray's musings and humor

Come on, let’s go

JOIN THE SOCIETY OF CHILDLIKE GROWNUPS.

OUR MOTTO IS: “IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD, AND TO MAKE SURE THAT OTHERS DO, TOO!!!”

  

Here we are again near the end of another year and another decade. It is also the time when we need to start the renewal process. It is one of the great things about life for those who understand that they are not the victims of some predetermined destiny for they get to choose their futures. Sure we might not get everything and certainly not overnight but we can take the first steps towards the life that would reward us with more happiness and satisfaction. Of course the key is to actually make a choice and not just a wish.

Far too often people give up on themselves and become so pessimistic that they won’t take the first step believing it would be fruitless. Others feel they need roadmaps and guides before they will even start and then once they do move out they find that they are following someone else’s dream and not their own.

Just this morning I had coffee with some one with talent and personality who seems to have convinced herself that there is little hope for the future; sadly she will be right if she continues to believe that failure is inevitable. Unfortunately she is concerned about what others think about where she is at and where she might go next more than she may be out about finding her own happiness.

My new friend is much better than she realizes and I know she is capable of pulling herself up and building on the good things from her past and current life if she views the previous pitfalls as stepping stones and not weights. I like what Ralph Marston said in the same vein when he wrote:

 

Let go of limiting beliefs

You have the power to change your life. You have the power to change the world.

You can take action, you can make a difference, and you can respond in a positive, creative way to any situation. You can do whatever must be done to live the life of your dreams.

Yet in order to do so you must first believe that you can.

In order to do so you must let go of the limiting beliefs you use to hold yourself back.

Each limiting belief you have is nothing more than a thought that lives in your mind. It is a thought that has power only as long as you continue to hold on to it.

What do you believe you cannot do? Though it may be a comfortable and familiar part of your life, that belief is constantly working against you.

Just as you have chosen to hold that limiting belief, you can choose to let it go. One by one, let go of your limiting beliefs, and free yourself to make the very most of every moment.

~~~

You’ll always miss 100% of the opportunities you don’t take.

~~~

MEMO: PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYEE ASSESSMENT

 

Subject: Prospective Employee Assessment

To: All Managers

 

The following guidelines shall be used when hiring new personnel.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

If they don’t even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

If they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

And if they have left early, put them in Sales.

~~~

In front of every silver lining, is a cloud.

~~~

The Chief Rabbi of Israel and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome.  The Rabbi notices an unusually fancy phone on a side table in the Pope’s private chambers. “What is that phone for?” he asks the pontiff. “It’s my direct line to the Lord!”

The Rabbi is skeptical, and the Pope notices. The Holy Father insists that the Rabbi try it out, and, so indeed, he is connected to the Lord.  The Rabbi holds a lengthy discussion with Him. After hanging up the Rabbi says. “Thank you very much. This is great! I want to pay for my phone charges.”

The Pope, of course, refuses.  The Rabbi is steadfast and finally, the pontiff gives in.  He checks the counter on the phone and says: “All right!  The charges are 100,000 lira.” The Chief Rabbi gladly hands over a packet of bills. 

A few months later the Pope is in Jerusalem on an official visit.  In the Chief Rabbi’s chambers he sees a phone identical to his and learns it also is a direct line to the Lord. The Pope remembers he has an urgent matter that requires divine consultation and asks if he can use the Rabbi’s phone.

The Rabbi gladly agrees, hands him the phone, and the Pope chats away.

After hanging up, the Pope offers to pay for the phone charges.  The Rabbi looks on the phone counter and says: “1 Shekel.” The Pope looks surprised: “Why so cheap!?!”  The Rabbi smiles: “Local call.”

~~~

You can always find what you’re not looking for.

~~~

A woman called Mount Sinai Hospital. She said, “Mount Sinai Hospital? Hello. Darling, I’d like to talk with the person who gives the information about the patients. But I don’t want to know if the patient is better or doing like expected, or worse, I want all the information from top to bottom.”

The voice on the other end of the line said, “Finkel… Finkel, Let me see… Feinberg, Farber — Finkel. Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals, her doctor says if she continues improving he is going to send her home Tuesday.”

The woman said, “Thank God! That’s wonderful! She’s going home on Tuesday. I’m so happy to hear that. That’s wonderful news.”

The guy on the other end said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you must be one of the close family.”

She said, “What close family? I’m Sarah Finkel! My doctor tells me nothing!”

~~~

If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister?

~~~

A woman walked up to the manager of a department store.

“Are you hiring any help?” she asked.

“No,” he said. “We already have all the staff we need.”

“Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?” she asked.

~~~

You don’t have to be in Who’s Who to know what’s what.

Bennett Cerf

~~~

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.

“This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?”

“No, madam,” replied the attendant.  “That one’s called a mirror.”

~~~

The greatest thing is, at any moment, to be willing to give up who we are in order to become all that we can be.

Max De Pree

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

 This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: