Ray's musings and humor

Thank You

Ray’s Daily

December 16, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends.

Cindy Lew

Another busy day so here is another Daily from the past.

Ray’s Daily first published on Deceber 16, 2008

Lately as I have re-inventoried those things that have made my life better each year I realize that most of the good things I have experienced are the result of the people I know. Someone asked me recently if I had any hobbies and I told them that I did, I collected friends. Sure I have enjoyed my travels and the things I have done, but they just fill time and space, it is the experiences shared with friends and family that have added the depth.

The older I get the more I realize that it is the interaction with others that adds the zest that makes each day exciting. I feel truly fortunate that people have allowed me to volunteer, serve, learn and participate in what’s going on around me. Luckily I have avoided the trap of retreating into my den and hibernating in an easy chair while letting age creep up on me.

I only recently realized that my activities were not an adjustment to the free time that comes with retirement but an extension to choices I made earlier in life. In truth we don’t have to wait to join in. In fact some of my favorite friends are just getting started in life and fortunately they have decided to ride the waves rather than sitting on shore watching the scenery.

Thank goodness that it is never too late, for there is no need to look back with regret when there is still opportunity to live a dream. There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and it is there for you but only if you realize that it is the journey you take that fills it.

Thank you all my friends, for it is you that makes it all worthwhile.

~~~

“May there always be work for your hands to do, may your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine on your windowpane, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.”

Irish Blessing

~~~

Here are some more words for you to use in your conversations today.

Lactomangulation (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the ‘open here’ spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.

Peppier (pehp ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

Telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

~~~

Hypochondriacs are just like fishermen, because neither have to catch anything to be happy.

Lawrence Brotherton

~~~

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change.

“I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?”

Nine hands went up.

“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man. “Too much trouble,” came the reply.

~~~

Marriage changes passion … suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

~~~

I recently my primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing “fairly well” for my age.  A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking her, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”

She asked, “Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer?”

“Oh no”, I replied, not anymore.”

Then she asked, “Do you eat a lot of rib-eye steaks and bar-b-que ribs?

I said, “No, I know that all “red meat” is very unhealthy!”

“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?” he asked.

“No I don’t.  I know that the sun is bad for you.” I said.

He said, “Do you drive fast cars or fool around?”

“No,” I said, “I’ve don’t do any of those things.”

She looked at me and said, “Then why in heck do you want to live to be 80 ??”

~~~

At my age, forget all the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get

~~~

Jerry is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

“I’m ok but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.

“What did he say,” asked the nurse.

“OOPS”

~~~

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions–the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

~~~

A little boy had been pawing over a stationer’s stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked, “Just what is it you’re looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend, Anniversary or a congratulations to your mom and dad?”

The boy shook his head and answered, “Got any like a blank report card?”

~~~

She said, “I haven’t found Mr. Right, but I have found Mr. Cheap, Mr. Sleazy, and Mr. Wrong.”

~~~

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter’s house later that night, she seemed upset.

“What happened, Mother?” the daughter asked.

“I had to slap his face three times!”

“You mean he got fresh?”

“No,” she answered…

“I thought he was dead!”

~~~

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles from the Next Exit

~~~

My friend said she was thinking of joining the Jewish faith. “They get something like 200 days off work every year for Jewish holidays. You just call the office and say, “I won’t be in tomorrow. It’s Meshuggena Verklempt Day. Yeah, well, I can’t talk anymore. It’s almost sundown. Bye!”

~~~

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”

Albert Einstein

~~~

A man parks his car at the supermarket and is walking into the store. A woman who has just finished loading her groceries in her car asks, “Excuse me, do you want this cart?”

“No,” he answers. “I’m only after one thing.”

As he walks into the store, he hears the woman mutter, “Just like a man.”

~~~

“A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.”

Arabian Proverb

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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