October 21, 2020
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
My wife has now been moved to our long term care memory facility. While it is located in our complex, we will not be living together for the first time in sixty-seven years of marriage. I am finding it difficult to adjust to living alone. Especially while our community is on lockdown which prevents me from visiting my wife or interacting with fellow residents.
I plan on adjusting to my new life without bitterness. I will do all I can to make my wife’s life as pleasant as possible and keeping my outlook positive. Here is plan offered to help us all stay upbeat.
A recipe for joyful living
Keep cheerful friends.
Never let the brain idle.
Enjoy the simple things.
Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be alive while you are alive.
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
And always remember: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
She was struck by the simple truth that sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor says, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, “Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?”
Doctor says, “You’re not drinking enough water.”
“Never put off till tomorrow, what you can do the day after tomorrow.”
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.
“Look,” she said. “We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other.”
“You’re wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past 5 years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his account.
Good leaders guide the willing and persuade the stubborn.
She said: Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.
I carefully removed his glasses. “You know, honey,” I said sweetly, “Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married.”
“Honey,” he replied with a grin, “Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!”
“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.”
Grandma Goldberg, a woman of 85, was slowly ambling down the street when she met her physician Dr. Cohen. Dr. Cohen, a dapper graying man in his early 60’s asked the elderly lady—“Mrs. Goldberg how are you feeling?”
For a long moment the woman gave the good doctor a terrible stare and then she said–“You ask me how I’m feeling! I’ll tell you how I’m feeling!! My legs hurt, my chest is sore, my heart is beating too fast and I can’t sleep!!! I have horrible headaches and stomach pains too!”
The good doctor looked at the elderly lady with compassion. “If you’re feeling so awful, why don’t you come and see me right away?”
Grandma Goldberg let out a sigh and said, “I was just waiting until I felt a little better.”
Q. What’s the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?
A. Wife saying she wants to talk to him.
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, “All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, “ALLLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine”.
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers “Aleeee ooop” in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens — the horse crashes straight through the centre of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “It’s no good, I’ll have to do it” and yells, “ALLLEEE OOOP!” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.
The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, “Nothing is wrong with me — it’s this bloody horse. What is he — deaf or something?”
The trainer replies, “Deaf?? DEAF?? He’s not deaf — he’s BLIND!”
Wear sleeveless shirts! Support your right to bare arms!
* The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund.
* They say the house didn’t float very far at all.
* Well, at least the operation was a partial success.
* The “National Inquirer” just loved those nude shots of you.
* With the lights dimmed, it looks almost normal.
* The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.
* The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.
* At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.
* The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.
* Those Grand Juries always overreact. Don’t worry about it.
* The boss said while you’re sick, he’d do all your work personally.
Gene the lawyer was walking down the street and saw an auto accident. He rushed over, started handing out business cards, and said, “I saw the whole thing. I’ll take either side.”
And as ridiculous as it may sound, sometimes all any of us needs in life is for someone to hold our hand and walk next to us.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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