October 9, 2020
Civility is not a tactic or a sentiment. It is the determined choice of trust over cynicism, of community over chaos.
George W. Bush
Yesterday I was picked up and taken to lunch by one of the best people I know. It was great to get caught up on what has been going on in our lives. We also spent a little time sharing what we know about mutual friends.
The rest of our lunch focused on how dismayed we are with the political lack of civility these days. That coupled with how todays spread of falsehoods and innuendos reflects on all of us as a people. When our top leaders spend their time calling those who disagree with them uncivil names it sends a terrible message to our children and grandchildren,
It is important that we do not become part of the problem by following the lead of those who hate. We need to remember that we control our lives and our behaviors. My friend is a humanitarian, professor author and one of our cities best people. I am fortunate to have her as a friend, she is an excellent role model.
10 Things in Life You Control
by Jim Allen
There are just a few aspects of life that we can truly control, and it’s useful to know just what those areas are. If you don’t know, you’ll spend a lot of time blaming others for your own failings. Try and exert too much control in areas you shouldn’t and the universe will create some interesting ways to remind of your place. So be prepared an learn the 10 things in life that you DO control:
1. What you do.- Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions.
2. What you say.- Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact.
3. What you think.- Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can’t control. But the things that you really think about, your beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in.
4. Your work. – Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier to say “Oh, I’m trapped in my job because I don’t have a degree, experience, etc.” Hogwash! That’s simple a way of denying one’s responsibility in having chosen the job in the first place. It’s your job and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that’s a choice as well.
5. The people you associate with. – Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have.
6. Your basic physical health.- Much about our health is a factor of genetics, environment, and exposure. Much more of our health is simply a matter of the things we choose: diet, exercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.
7. The environment you live in.- Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live in, the amenities available to you are all things you can control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide to tolerate them or move someplace else).
8. Your fiscal situation. – Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you make versus what you spend.
9. Your time.- You choose how to “spend” your time and how much of your time to give to various activities. You’ll never get more time than the 24 hours your given each day.
10. Your legacy.- All your actions, words, and knowledge that you share while you are living become the gift that you leave when you are gone.
Civility, politeness, it’s like a cement in a society: binds it together. And when we lose it, then I think we all feel lesser and slightly dirty because of it.
Radar: “Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.”
Pilot: “Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can we make up here?”
Radar: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?”
“I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!”
She married him because he was such a “strong man” She divorced him because he was such a “dominating male.”
He married her because she was so “fragile and petite.” He divorced her because she was so “weak and helpless.”
She married him because “he knows how to provide a good living.” She divorced him because “all he thinks about is business.”
He married her because “she reminds me of my mother.” He divorced her because “she’s getting more like her mother every day.”
She married him because he was “happy and romantic.” She divorced him because he was “shiftless and fun-loving.”
He married her because she was “steady and sensible.” He divorced her because she was “boring and dull.”
She married him because he was “the life of the party.” She divorced him because “he never wants to come home from a party.”
My wife tends to leave well enough alone. Unfortunately, things are rarely well enough.
The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it.
Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
“Mother,” the nuns asked with earnest, “Please give us some wisdom before you die.”
She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, “Don’t sell that cow.”
It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns.
He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.
The pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Taking out his book, he read the service.
As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: “Think we should tell him it’s a septic tank?”
“A child of five would understand this. Send somebody to fetch a child of five.”
Aspire to decency. Practice civility toward one another. Admire and emulate ethical behavior wherever you find it. Apply a rigid standard of morality to your lives; and if, periodically, you fail as you surely will adjust your lives, not the standards.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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