October 29, 2020
Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.
H. Jackson Browne
I have a number of chores this morning so here is another reprint.
Ray’s Daily first published on O)ctober 29, 2004
I am worried that fear is having too great an impact on our lives. People tell me they will not fly or travel for fear of what might happen. Friends tell me they are frightened of the consequences of the upcoming elections. A friend recently told me that she feared building new relationships because they might fail. We are afraid of job loss, poor health, falling stock prices, and more. It even seems that the threat of terrorism has driven many of us to the point of being irrational. As an example I know a highly intelligent and successful businessman that won’t ride the Washington, D.C. Metro for fear of a bombing.
What scares me the most is that we will end up withdrawing from life to the point that we miss most of it. If you never travel, you will never see the wonder that exists everywhere in the world, you will never meet the friends you might have made. If we convince ourselves that the election of a political candidate will be a disaster, we will not be free to judge what actually does happen. The world is not black and white but many hues of grey; we need to discern what is good and what is not and do it by understanding reality not what our imagination tells us. Saddest of all is the people would have been so important to our happiness if only we would have let them in. I do not fear new relationships, I am frightened that I might miss one. My life is better because I know so many of you. Fear can destroy any chance we have for happiness and a full life; but only if we let it.
So come travel with me someday. Let us meet all the good people we might miss if we let our fears keep us away. And oh by the way, it is never too late to start.
It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.
This might help you understand why we stay on the same time in Indiana all year. When those of you change your clocks back from daylight saving time, we will be sleeping through it.
Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time in the Winter and while Chicago is then on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago. No longer true- Ray
“The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.,” a ticket agent said, “and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m.”
“Huh? Would you repeat that, please?” Bob asked.
The agent did so and then inquired, “Do you want a reservation?”
“No,” said Bob, “But I think I’ll stick around here and watch that thing take off!”
Fleischmann: “How are you feeling today?”
Perlmutter: I tell you … I’ve got so many aches and pains, if I get a new one today, it will have to wait two weeks before I can even worry about it!”
What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They’re totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They’re moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.
What is a Dog?
1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.
CONCLUSION: They’re tiny men in little fur coats
“Don’t marry a beautiful person. They may leave you. Of course, an ugly person may leave you too. But who cares?”
The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, “Pastor, I will contribute $1,000.”
Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, “Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000.”
Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, “Pastor, I will double my last pledge.”
He sat down, and an larger chunk of plaster fell hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, “Pastor, I will give $20,000!”
This prompted a deacon to shout, “Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!”
“I recently had my Visa card stolen. Now it’s everywhere I want to be.”
Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology.”
The town council was not too happy with that sign, so the doctors changed it to “Hysterias and Posteriors.”
This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.”
Next they tried “Catatonics and High Colonics.”
Thumbs down again.
Then came, “Manic-depressives and Anal-retentives.”
Still not good enough.
How about, “Minds and Behinds.”
Almost at their wits’ end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be acceptable to the council;
“Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends.”
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Esther was entranced with an expensive mink coat she had seen in an exclusive shop, and for days she cudgeled her brain to think of a way to bring up the subject to her husband. Suddenly she had an inspired thought.
“Sol, last night I had a lovely dream.”
“What kind of a dream, Esther?”
“I dreamed that we passed by Saks Fifth Avenue, and there in the window was this gorgeous mink coat — only $6,200. And you know what you did? You went right in and bought it for me, Sollie dear!”
“Say, that really was a wonderful dream! Hereafter, in all your dreams, you should wear it in good health, Esther dear!”
Risks don’t always turn out as we had hoped, but they always bring greater insight and the reward of living every day to the fullest.
Mary Kay Mueller
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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