Ray's musings and humor

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

Marcus Aurelius


Here we are on the threshold of autumn after an eventful and rapidly moving summer. For some reason I took a little time to reflect back and remembered the Daily I wrote nine years ago that helped me to appreciate the cards that were dealt to me by fate. I have been truly fortunate.


Here is a reprint of my August 30, 2004 Daily.

If my mother had not been a single parent I would not have been sent to a boarding school when I was 11 where we were allowed to go home once a year during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day.

If I had not been at boarding school before I returned home for high school I would have spent time with old friends rather than joining the US Naval Reserve at 14 with an altered birth certificate.

If I had not joined the Naval Reserve at 14, I would not have had the interest and courage to leave high school and attend an electronics engineering school at 15 where my fellow classmates were returning World War II veterans.

If I had not attended an electronics engineering school and done well I would not have been called into the Navy when I was 16 during the Korean War.

If I had not been in the Navy I would not have been selected for special computer and electronics training on the East Coast.

If I had not been assigned to an East Coast training facility I never would have met my wife on a blind date in New York.

If I had not married my wife I never would have fathered three fine children.

If one of my children had not parented one of my granddaughters she never would have become a gymnast and become a state champion at age nine.

If she had not become state champion many others would never have had a chance to see her and enjoy what she does.2013 note: She is currently attending Brown University as a freshman and will compete on the Brown Gymnastics team.

I don’t know if it is fate, luck, or what, all I know is that I am glad to know my granddaughter and watch her do something that gives her as much joy as she gives me. I have the good fortune to have six more grandchildren all close by, who do great things and provide me unlimited pleasure.

Our lives move forward each day, it is a journey that takes us to places we never would have imagined we would go. Some things we choose other things are given to us. In all cases it is worth stopping once in a while to look back and be thankful for whatever it was that brought us to where we are.


Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant.



Glenn and Scott are bungee-jumping one day when Glenn has a brainstorm, “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.” Scott agrees that it would be a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

When everything is ready Glenn gives it a test jump. When he bounces at the end of the cord and comes back up, Scott notices that Glenn has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the Scott isn’t able catch him, so Glenn falls again, bounces, and then comes back up. This time, Glenn is bruised and bleeding. Again, Scott misses him. Glenn goes down again and this time, he comes back pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

On the next attempt, Scott finally catches him and pulls him in. “What happened?” he asks. “Was the cord too long?”

Glenn catches his breath and replies, “No, the cord was fine, but tell me… what the heck is a piñata?”


A consultant knows the way but can’t drive the vehicle.


A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and says to his father. “I need to borrow two hundred dollars,” he says.

At the other end, his father says, “Sorry, I can’t hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line.”

The boy shouts, “Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!”

“Sorry, I still can’t hear you clearly,” says his father.

The operator cuts in, “Sorry to butt in, But I can hear him perfectly clearly.”

The father says, “Good. YOU send him the money!”


“Age and Treachery Will Always Beat Youth and Skill”


A group of Rabbis were having lunch in “Isaacs White House” kosher restaurant. Unfortunately, Isaac served them watermelon spiked with cherry vodka that he had prepared for another table and he realized his mistake too late to do anything about it. All Isaac could do was wait in his kitchen and expect the worst.

As soon as the waiter came back into the kitchen with the empty plates, Isaac grabbed hold of him and asked, “What did they say, please tell me, what did they say?”

“Nothing at all, Mr Isaac,” replied the waiter. “They were all too busy cleaning up the watermelon seeds and putting them into their pockets.”


“You’re Just Jealous Because the Little Voices Are Talking to Me”


There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”

Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had “fallen.” This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe, old age.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. “Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they’ve fallen.”

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about, because your wife has already fallen three times this week!”


It is when we forget about ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered


A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn’t gotten the license number. “What kind of car was he driving?” the husband asked.

“I don’t know,” she said.  “I never can tell one car from another.” At that, the man decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make and model.It worked!

About a week later she bounded in with a pleased look on her face…..”Honey…guess what? I just hit a Buick Regal.”


You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.


This is a conversation that took place between a young man and a market surveyor in London.

Surveyor:  Which shaving cream do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which aftershave do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which deodorant do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which toothpaste do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  Which shampoo do you use? Young Man:  Raymond’s

Surveyor:  (Frustrated) Okay, tell me, What is this Raymond? An international company?  A local firm?  What??? Young Man:  Raymond?  He’s my roommate.


It is essential to learn to enjoy life. It really does not make sense to go through the motions of existence if one does not appreciate as much of it as possible.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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