“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
Boy do I think Hemingway is right. I hated it when my old company put in a system that required us to go through a lengthy procedure to make sure someone was not cheating us on a warrantee claim. We would spend an hour of labor to make sure we were not going to be cheated out of a hundred dollars or so and you know what, I don’t think we ever found anyone who cheated. We spent all kinds of money and goodwill while we treated every customer as a possible cheat.
I have found over the years that trusting people builds friendships and positive relationships. I quit spending all kinds of time checking my statements to make sure there were no financial errors, now I look at the bottom line and if I am only a few cents off I don’t need to spend hours finding it, my time is worth more. I get concerned about folks who go through life seeming to feel the world is out to cheat them when in reality most people are good people and deserve not to be looked at as suspects.
Here are excerpts from an article entitled Fear of trusting people written by M.Farouk Radwan, MSc that I wish more people would heed.
The problem with thinking that people aren’t trust worthy
If you believed in any idea then your subconscious mind will gather for you all the clues that proves this idea true. Your subconscious will discard some important events and will focus on the ones that prove that people aren’t trust worthy.
I am not saying that people are angels, while there are people whom you should not trust still there are good people out there. All people can’t be trusted but still some can be trusted.
How to Trust people Again
Whenever you have problems trusting someone ask yourself these questions, if someone wasn’t trust worthy does this mean that the whole world is not? If I had a car accident one day does this mean that I should not cross the street anymore? The more you ask yourself these questions the more you will be challenging your incorrect beliefs about others and the more you will start trusting people
Whenever you find yourself prejudging others remind yourself that your subconscious mind can prove this idea even if it was false. The only way you can find the truth about people is avoiding any kind of bias, only then you will discover who is really trust worthy and who isn’t .
Even if you discovered that someone wasn’t trust worthy know that one person doesn’t represent the whole world because he is still one person.
Allow others to trust you by being honest. People who cheat on others and who lie often usually have problems trusting others because they think that everyone else is going to be like them.
You don’t have to trust everyone but you must know that there are some people out there who can be trusted.
“It is more shameful to distrust one’s friends than to be deceived by them.”
François Duc De La Rochefoucauld
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. “We will all die some day,” the leader of the discussion said, “and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.” Everybody nodded his or her heads in agreement with this comment. “What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, before your Great Judgment Day?” the leader asked the group.
“For those 4 weeks, I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted Jesus into their lives.” one gentleman said.
“A very admirable thing to do,” said the group leader. And all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.
“For those 4 weeks, I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction,” one lady said enthusiastically.
“That’s wonderful!” the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.
One gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly. ” For those 4 weeks, I would travel throughout the United States with my mother-in-law in a Ford Escort, and stay in a Motel 6 every night.”
Everyone was puzzled by his answer. “Why would you do that?” the group leader asked. “Because,” the man smiled sarcastically, “it would be the longest 4 weeks of my life.”
Those who say they “sleep like a baby” obviously haven’t got one.
The shoe dealer was hiring a clerk. “Suppose,” he said, “a lady customer were to remark while you were trying to fit her, ‘Don’t you think one of my feet is bigger than the other?’ What would you say?”
“I would say, ‘On the contrary, Ma’am, one is smaller than the other.’ ”
“The job is yours.”
Everybody repeat after me: “We are all individuals!”
Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found his wife Fanny in the arms of another man. He started to yell at the interloper, “What right have you got to be making love to my wife?”
The man answered calmly, “You may as well know that I am in love with Fanny and I would like to marry her. I understand you’re a gambler. Why don’t you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I’ll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce her…. OK?”
“OK,” replied Horowitz, “but just to make it a little more interesting, why don’t we also play for a dollar a point?”
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
Morty and Sarah had just returned home from a party. Sarah said, “Do you realize what you did tonight, Morty?”
“No I don’t,” Morty replied, “But I’ll admit I was wrong. What did I do?”
Sign in a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. “My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish,” said God. “Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways,” said the nun.
“There must be something you would have of me,” said God.
“Well, there is one thing,” she said.
“Just name it,” said God.
“It’s those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop.”
“Consider it done,” said God. “Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you.”
“There is one thing. But it’s really small, and not worth your time,” said the nun.
“Name it. Please,” said God.
“It’s the M&M’s,” said the nun. “They’re so hard to peel.”
“It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.”
Dr. Samuel Johnson
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
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