Ray's musings and humor

Archive for June, 2013

I appreciate you

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.

Fr. Jerome Cummings

 welcome-friends

If you have been reading the Daily for any time at all you know my hobby is making and collecting new friends. For me they provide so much as they share their views, successes, failures, joys and tears. I truly think the greatest gift we are given in life is friendships offered to us by others. Not only do friends provide companionship, they are also a great source of knowledge, inspiration and counsel. Each of us is provided a chance to see parts of the world that we would not otherwise see if not for what is reported through the eyes of others.

In this age of desocialization, isolation and narrow sources of information it becomes far too easy to become part of the current excessive polarized society. By having a diverse set of friends we are given a chance to test our ideas, learn other points of view and hopefully arrive at balanced conclusions. So choose your friends wisely, be grateful to them for their time and wisdom and understand that they are an important part of our life journey.

Here is a piece I copied from an organization based in India that I like, I hope you will too.

FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

Actions speak louder than words.

Don’t let the past hold you back; you’re missing the good stuff.

Life’s short. If you don’t look around once in a while, you might miss it.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.

If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else.

When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there

True friendship never ends.

Friends are forever.

Good friends are like stars….You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.

Don’t frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Most people walk in and out of your life. But only True friends leave footprints in your heart.

Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.

~~~

“Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil.”

Baltasar Gracian

~~~

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses’ break room saying: “Remember, the first five minutes of a human being’s life are the most dangerous.”

Underneath, a nurse had written: “The last five are pretty risky, too.”

~~~

When in charge ponder.

When in trouble delegate.

When in doubt mumble.”

James H. Boren

~~~

A professor was one day walking along a very narrow street when he came face to face with a rival. The street was too narrow for two to pass. The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily, “I never make way for fools!”

Smiling, the professor stepped aside and said, “I always do.”

~~~

Imagery is All In The Mind.

~~~

A friend hosted a dinner party for people from work and everyone was encouraged to bring their children. All during the sit-down dinner one co-worker’s three-year-old girl stared at the man sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food from staring.

The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him.  He tried his best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for him.

He asked her, “Why are you staring at me?”

Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior, and the table went quiet for her response. The little girl said, “I just want to see how you drink like a fish!”

~~~

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.  –

Groucho Marx

~~~

At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband’s sports jackets. Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the design of the tie.

The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a ‘bug’ planted by the conspiracy defendants.  The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters In Washington, DC for analysis.

Two weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office to learn the results of their tests. “We’re not sure where the disc came from,” the FBI told him, “but we discovered that when you press it, it plays ‘Jingle Bells.'”

~~~

When doctors and undertakers meet, they always wink at each other.

W. C. Fields

~~~

Office Rules

1) If it rings, put it on hold.

2) If it clanks, call the repairman.

3) If it whistles, ignore it.

4) If it’s a friend, take a break.

5) If it’s the boss, look busy.

6) If it talks, take notes.

7) If it’s handwritten, type it.

8) If it’s typed, copy it.

9) If it’s copied, file it.

10) If it’s Friday, forget it!

~~~

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

Mark Twain

~~~

My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it.

“Oh,” said My Dad, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.”

“How come?” I asked.

“Well,” he answered, “because with a clarinet, she can’t sing.”

~~~

“The rain may be falling hard outside,

But your smile makes it all alright.

I’m so glad that you’re my friend.

I know our friendship will never end.”

Robert Alan

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Advertisements

Forgive me I forgot your name

I am a quick study – I can memorize a script in an hour – but I can’t remember a name three seconds.

Don Adams

 remember-names

OK, I’ll admit it I have gone into memory overload. I am sure that is the reason why I keep having so much trouble remembering names, even the names of some folks I have known for years. I keep telling my wife I have a six step memory, I remember the name of somebody I recognize after I have walked past them by at least six steps. It is made even more frustrating since I have met so many people in my later life that almost everyone looks familiar. Fortunately I am old enough that most people seem to understand and chalk it up to my obvious semi-senility.

While my problem does often cause me some discomfort I have learned to live with my condition by reverting frequently to universal names such as buddy, old friend, pal, darlin’ and the like. I also have learned I am not in it alone in the “oh what was his name?” reality since so many of my younger friends seem to have the same problem.

Not remembering a name sometime happens to the best of us, even the brilliant bestselling author Gretchen Rubin admits to occasionally forgetting the name of someone she is talking to. Here is something she wrote some time ago on how we might mask our temporary loss of name memory.

 

Six Tips for Coping with the Fact that You’ve Forgotten Someone’s Name.

I’ve developed some strategies for coping with the fact that I’m not able to pull up a person’s name right away. Of course, you can always just say politely, “I’m sorry, I don’t recall your name,” but if you’d rather try to disguise your forgetfulness a bit, give these a try:

1. The “I know your name, but I’m blocked” dodge: “I keep wanting to call you “David,” but I know that’s not right.”

2. The “Of course I know you — in fact, I want all your information” dodge: “Hey, I’d love to get your card.”

3. The “The tip of my tongue” dodge: “I know I know your name, but I’m blanking right now.”

4. The “You’re brilliant!” dodge: “Wow, you have a terrific memory. I can’t believe you remember my name from that meeting six months ago. I can’t remember the names of people I met yesterday! So of course I have to ask you your name.”

5. The “Sure, I remember you” dodge: “Remind me – what’s your last name?” If you ask a person for his last name, he’s likely to repeat both names. “Doe, John Doe.”

6. The “One-sided introduction” dodge: “Hey,” you say to the person whose name you can’t remember, “let me introduce you to Pat Smith.” You introduce the two and say the name of the person whose name you remember. Almost always, the nameless person will volunteer his or her name.

Also, remember that others might have trouble remembering your name. When you’re saying hello to someone, err on the side of re-introducing yourself. “Hi, John, it’s Gretchen Rubin.” Say your name slowly and clearly. And don’t get offended if someone doesn’t remember your name! And while you’re at it, remember to smile. It really does make a difference in how friendly you’re perceived to be.

~~~

“Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

~~~

A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face.

“What did you do that for?” the man asks.

“Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore do you?”

The man says, “No, but my wife out in the car still does!”

~~~

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.

Leo Rosenburg

~~~

Carlson’s Consolation:  Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.

~~~

Strategies For Making People Fall In Love With You:

“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” — Del, age 6

“Shake your hips and hope for the best.” — Camille, age 9

“Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs…and don’t worry if their parents are right there.” — Manuel, age 8

“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” — Alonzo, age 9

“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” — Bart, age 9

~~~

One reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.

~~~

A college professor had the mysterious habit of removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket as he walked into the lecture hall each morning. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever understood why he did this, until one day …

A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor didn’t miss a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball, and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head.

The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball … No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester!

~~~

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

 W. C. Fields

~~~

He said: Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy’s checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he would look at it, but only after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape. The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Cindy said proudly, “I’ve done it! I made it balance!”

Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. “Let’s see… mortgage 550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00.” His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry. “It says here ESP, $615. What the heck is that?”

“Oh,” she said, “That means, Error Some Place!”

~~~

“Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart.”

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t listen to them

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.

Samuel Johnson

 Overcoming

Yesterday I shared a letter that was forwarded to me by a retired professor friend that talked about the best part of aging was the freedom to do whatever took your fancy. The writer talked about his breakout behavior and his joy in doing things he had not done earlier in life. I honestly think that is one of the keys to enjoying later life, filling the space left by things you no longer can do with new things you can do. Unfortunately too many of us spend more of our time giving ourselves reasons why we can’t do things rather than opening our minds to why can do them.

One of the things that use to drive me up a wall was how often folks would tell my why we should not take action. I think the reason I hated most was “We tried that once before and it didn’t work.” I am so glad that most of the time we succeeded when we ignored those who feel that time and circumstances never change and went ahead and did what they said wouldn’t work.

Though the years I have learned great things come from those folks who don’t waste too much time being held back by their own thoughts or the advice of others. Even children sometimes seem to feel that their parent’s quest for happiness and a little adventure is a bad thing and that their folks would be happiest just wasting away lounging in their easy chairs. In truth life can go on as long as you are willing to live it. So damn the naysayers and full speed ahead go out and have fun.

Here is a piece offered by Ralph Marston some time ago that I like, I hope you will too.

Look again

What if the factors holding you back are doing so only because of the way you have chosen to see them? What if you were to choose to see them in a new light? If a door is always locked the first six or seven times you attempt to open it, you’ll probably stop making the attempt. Yet just because that door was once locked, doesn’t mean it will always be.

More significantly, that door is not the only way into the place you wish to go. There could very well be many other doors, some of them open to you, or windows, or other pathways. There is a positive, empowering way to look at whatever your situation may be. By changing your perspective, you can significantly improve your options.

Consider your most challenging obstacle. Then, step outside your current set of assumptions, and look at it again. Stop fighting the same old fight that’s supported by the same old perspective. Look again, know that it’s there, and you’ll find a new way forward.

~~~

Being positive doesn’t mean ignoring the negative. Being positive means overcoming the negative.

~~~

A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for a coffee and a chat. They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation. Usually, their discussion is very negative.

One day, Moishe surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear, “You know what? I’ve now become an optimist.”

Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up.

But then Sam notices something isn’t quite right and he says to Moishe, “Hold on a minute, if you’re an optimist, why are you looking so worried?”

Moishe replies, “Do you think its easy being an optimist?”

~~~

You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

~~~

A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks, “Reverend, you’re a man of God, can’t you do something about this storm?”

To which he replies, “Lady, I’m in sales, not management.”

~~~

“If it wasn’t for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I’d have no sex life at all.”

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act.  He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front, near the cash registers, when the shoplifter broke from his grip and tried to run away. After a scuffle, my friend pinned him against the wall and looked up to see a number of surprised customers staring at him.

“Everything’s fine, Folks,” he reassured them.  “This guy just tried to go through the express line with more than nine items.”

~~~

“The main fault we, as human beings have, is the preoccupation with the faults of others.”

~~~

The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist: “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.”

On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?”

“Yes” the mother answered.

“And how is your son now?” he asked.

“Who cares?” she replied.

~~~

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

~~~

A man pleaded with the psychiatrist, “You’ve got to help me. It’s my son.”

“What’s the matter?”

“He’s always eating mud pies. I get up in the morning and there he is in the backyard eating mud pies. I come hoes at lunch and he’s eating mud pies. I come home at dinner and there he is in the backyard eating mud pies.”

The psychiatrist reassured him, “Give the kid a chance. It’s all part of growing up. It’ll pass.”

“Well, I don’t like it, and neither does his wife.”

~~~

“When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it was a valuable plant.”

~~~

‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, ‘honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’

‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied.

~~~

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.

Joshua J Marine

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

How old are you really?

“It`s not how old you are, it`s how you are old.”

Jules Renard

 old-man-at-computer

As you know I have often reported that my life has never been better even though I have had to depend on more medical intervention than I would have liked. The fuel for enjoying life at my age is the freedom to be yourself and to do what you want to do. Of course it requires that you invest in yourself by taking advantage of your freedom and not succumbing to the siren song of inactivity and the resulting stagnation.

What focused my thoughts on the joy of aging was this e-mail I got from a retired professor friend of mine that someone had sent to him. Read it and if you are not one of us really old guys keep what he says in mind as you look forward to the future. If you are one of us I hope I see you out there with the rest of us having fun.

 

The Question: DO YOU LIKE GETTING OLDER???

I can hit the golf ball any way I can and laugh if it goes in the lake. Them’s the breaks. I’m just happy I can still hit that golf ball. I am forwarding this to those on my Seniors email list because it is so well written.

 

As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it, if I choose to read, or play, on the computer, until 4 AM, or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50, 60 & 70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And, I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But, broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!

~~~

“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

As she ages:

Age 8: Looks at herself and sees: Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty.

Age 15: Looks at herself and sees: Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Cheerleader, or if she is PMS’ing: sees: Pimples/UGLY (“Mom, I can’t go to school looking like this!”)

Age 20: Looks at herself and sees: “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly” – but decides she’s going out anyway.

Age 30: Looks at herself and sees: “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly” – but

decides she doesn’t have time to fix it so she’s going out anyway.

Age 40: Looks at herself and sees: “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly” – but says, “At least, I’m clean” and goes out anyway.

Age 50: Looks at herself and sees I am” – and goes wherever she wants to.

Age 60: Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can’t even see themselves in the mirror anymore. …goes out and conquers the world.

Age 70: Looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter and ability – goes out and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn’t bother to look. Just puts on a red hat and goes out to participate in the world.

Age 90: Can’t see and doesn’t worry about it!

~~~

GARBAGE: A collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mom assigns to a different family member each week, then winds up doing herself.

~~~

A factory owner said to a store owner, “Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you.”

“Gosh, it’s nice to hear that, but I’m kind of surprised,” admitted Smith.

“You know that I argue every bill and always pay late.”

The factory owner said, “I’d still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred.”

~~~

I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?

~~~

On Husband-and-Wife day at La Quinta in Palm Springs, a player drove straight down the 1st fairway. Taking over, his wife sliced the ball 100 yards into the rough. The husband gritted his teeth and made a magnificent recovery right onto the green. The wife blasted her putt past the pin into a deep trap. Delicately, the man lifted the ball back to the green-where it rolled into the cup. He turned to his wife. “We’ll have to do a bit better than that from now on, dear. The hole was bogey five.” “Don’t give me a hard time,” she snapped, “only two of those strokes were mine.”

~~~

A lot of trouble in this world is caused by combining a narrow mind with a wide mouth.

~~~

Retired professor Moriarty was brought before the country judge on charges. The judge said sternly, “This is not the first time you have been brought before this court on charges of being drunk and disorderly. Have you any reason why a stiff sentence should not be pronounced?”

The old drunk stood up and looked at the judge. “Man’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourns.”

Then he turned and faced the courtroom. “I’m not as debased as Poe, as ungrateful as Keats, as intemperate as Burns, as timid as Tennyson, as vulgar as Shakespeare, as—”

The judge interrupted, “Shut up! That’ll be ninety days.” And he slammed down the gavel.

Then he said to the bailiff, “Take down that list of names and round them up. They’re as bad as he is!”

~~~

As we grow old, the beauty steals inward.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Yippee! Another opportunity

If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind.

Norman Vincent Peale

enthusiasm

I am sometimes criticized for my having an excess of enthusiasm. I am not sure where it comes from but as long as I can remember I have talked each task with gusto to the point where others were concerned that we were moving too quickly. Often it came from the stimulus provided by a new challenge or a new opportunity but whatever it was I honestly it was the secret of my getting to live a life that went way beyond what I ever thought possible.

As I have gotten older I have not lost the sense of enthusiasm but sometimes find that I no longer have the energy that I once did so I find I am spending less time on the front lines and more time cheering others on. The good news is that my ability to often infect others with enthusiasm for something worthwhile has even increased. I am proud of the accomplishments of so many friends these days and feel fortunate that I have often been there at the starting line.

Sometime ago author Catherine Pulsifer shared her thoughts on enthusiasm that I like, here is what she wrote:

 

Having Enthusiasm

Having enthusiasm in performing any task gives you an abundance of energy. Harry Truman demonstrated his wisdom when he said, “I studied the lives of great men and famous women, and I found that the men and women who got to the top were those who did the jobs they had in hand, with everything they had of energy and enthusiasm.”

Showing enthusiasm also motivates others around you. People naturally want to be around people who are upbeat and have energy.

Those who demonstrate enthusiasm are far more likely to succeed because of their attitude towards the task at hand. Someone who lacks enthusiasm rarely succeeds, and the reason is because of the attitude that they have. When they face a problem they are more likely to give up.

An enthusiastic person believes in what they are doing. They are excited and look forward to the day to achieve the task at hand. They have self-confidence in themselves and will find solutions to any challenges that come along. Walter Chrysler once said, “The real secret of success is enthusiasm. Yes, more than enthusiasm, I would say excitement. I like to see men get excited. When they get excited they make a success of their lives.  The wisdom of his words still applies today.

We all have a choice, we can decide to be enthusiastic or we can just put in the day. If you are working at a job that you are not enthusiastic about, then find work that excites you. If you need to improve your skills to get that job, then take courses and learn all you can. You will find your life is much happier if you are doing something that excites you rather than bores you.

Having enthusiasm for what you are doing does not mean you won’t face challenges or difficulties, but you will be able to overcome these difficulties as long as you keep your attitude positive.

~~~

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which mean never losing your enthusiasm.

Aldous Huxley

~~~

On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

“Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”

Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”

~~~

Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your mid-section unprotected.

Robert Orben

~~~

Sitting by the window in her convent, Sister Anne opened a letter from home and found a $10 bill inside.

As she read the letter she caught sight of a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against a lamppost below.

Quickly she wrote, “Don’t despair, Sister Anne” on a piece of paper, wrapped the $10 in it and dropped it out the window.

The stranger picked it up and, with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.

The next day Sister Anne was told that a man was at the door, insisting on seeing her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a roll of bills. “What’s this?” she asked.

“That’s the 60 bucks you have coming. Don’t Despair paid five to one.”

~~~

Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and only half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

Rebecca Richards

~~~

A 4-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner.  The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.

Then he paused, and everyone waited–and waited.  After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, “If I thank God for the broccoli, won’t he know that I’m lying?”

~~~

Carson’s Observation on Footwear:  If the shoe fits, buy the other one, too.

~~~

You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there’s always like 18% that say “I don’t know”. It costs 90 cents to call up and vote…They’re voting “I don’t know.”

“Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone. (Into Phone) I DON’T KNOW!” (Hangs up looking proud.) “Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you’re not sure about.”

~~~

“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”

Steve Maraboli

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t wait

“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”

Michael J. Fox

 accomplishment-vs-perfectionism

Last week two of my friends talked about how burdensome perfectionism can be. These are both talented people but like so many others I know feel guilty if what they do is not perfect in their mind. I wonder sometimes if some folks use perfectionism as a rationale for procrastination or the reason not to produce something they think others will not appreciate. Whatever the reason perfectionism mostly reinforces a feeling of inadequacy and failure that is seldom justified. I think to some extent it comes from believing that form is more important than substance. In reality almost nothing is perfect when measured only by form. So I have decided to redefine perfect to being something that is functional and published in time to be useful.

By my definition nothing is perfect that is too late to be used or never distributed. Something is also perfect in my eyes if it communicates to others what is important. I want us all to appreciate the fact that it is the message we send that is understood by others and is useful and is delivered in a timely manner that is perfect. I know of no museum where beautiful messages are displayed. So my friend if you got it out on time and it did what it was supposed to do, you’re perfect even if you don’t know you are.

Here are some edited tips to help if you have perfectionist leanings from an article written by Mark Tyrrell

1) Cut some slack for yourself — When you approach a staircase, you don’t leap the whole flight in one bound. Don’t then expect to win or succeed straightaway. Cut back on things that need to ‘be perfect’. Is it really vital to have every CD in your collection perfectly aligned or all your books spaced exactly evenly from one another?

2) Cut slack for others — Being a perfectionist and inflicting that on others is really a way of trying to control people. People don’t like feeling controlled or coerced all the time, even if you do ‘know best’. Remember people are who they are, regardless of how you feel they should be. What makes us human are our foibles and, yes, weaknesses. Don’t be an unintentional bully.

3) Learn to see life in all its shades — Learn to think in gradations: Do you really think anything less than 100% is zero? Over-simplified all-or-nothing thinking isn’t a perceptive, sophisticated, or accurate way to evaluate much of life. The brightest people can do the dumbest things sometimes; most things are relative. Save your black-or-white thinking for the really simplistic situations of. Recognize what’s good enough and move on.

4) Develop humor — Often, perfectionists fail to see the funny side. If you are a perfectionist, you may have even been accused of a sense-of-humor failure on occasion. A ready sense of humor depends on being able to shift perspective quickly, which is essential when things don’t work out exactly as you’d hoped. Hang out with and learn from funny, relaxed people. Who was it that said: “Life is too important to take seriously”?

5) Remember mistakes are not catastrophes. — Be brave and accept that mistakes happen and, let’s take it further, that they should happen. Not making mistakes means never having the opportunity to truly learn and develop. In some contexts, mistakes can even be encouraged so we can move beyond them more quickly.

6) Don’t use perfectionism as a reason to procrastinate — Because making mistakes isn’t a mortal sin (in fact, some ancient cultures felt that perfection was a sin because it displayed hubris and challenged the gods), don’t fear mistakes or use the possibility of imperfection as an excuse not to start things. If a journey is worth making, then false starts and temporarily getting lost matter little if the final destination can still be achieved.

7) Stop over-applying negative outcomes — If you miss a shot in tennis, does that one mistake make you a total idiot? This is as silly as someone doing one nice thing and you proclaiming them to be a ‘total saint’. Psychologists call this ‘globalizing’ and it’s a hallmark of intolerance. People with low self-esteem, for example, are intolerant of themselves.

 

Ultimately, perfectionism produces a chronic fear of failure and this comes about from failure (yes, I get the irony) to see success as relative. Personally, I feel that a ‘perfect person’ would seem rather imperfect. As Goethe once proclaimed: “Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks.”

~~~

Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence.

Rosalynn Carter

~~~

PROCRASTINATOR’S CREED

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2.  I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3.  I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4.  I shall meet all of my dead lines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5.  I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6.  I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time givin.

7.  I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

8  If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.

9.  I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

10.  I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and /or write the first word, when I get around to it.

11.  I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more significant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

12.  I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/wait/plan.

13.  I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

14.  I will become a member of the Ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinators Society) if they ever get it organized.

~~~

If you want the world to beat a path to your door, just try to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon.

~~~

When Jack Benny’s daughter Joan was married for the first time, the L.A. Times had a headline, “Jack Benny’s Daughter Married in $25,000 Affair.”

The L.A. Examiner’s headline was “Benny Spends $50,000 on Daughter’s Wedding.”

Eddie Cantor woke him up with a phone call to say “Did you read either of the morning papers yet?”

Jack said no.

Cantor said, “Well, do yourself a favor and just read The Times.  You’ll save $25,000.”

~~~

TROUBLE: Area of nonspecific space a child can always be sure to be in.

~~~

“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?”

Little Johnny’s father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.”

“That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny, “At least you could try, right?”

~~~

“The man with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Promise yourself

The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love.

William Somerset Maugham

promise2

The good news is that I’m over last week’s illness; the bad news is that I had a different internal plumbing problem yesterday that provided me little sleep. I am sure it is only a day or two event so I should be able to roll again tomorrow. I am going to wait a little bit before I decide if exercise is on today’s agenda. Since I have been drained of energy I am again sharing with you thoughts from the past.

~~~

Ray’s Daily first published on June 10, 2002

If you are like I am you find the problems of the world today spread a cloud across so much of what we do and see. We try to balance our search for security with our great love of personal freedom. We fear for the future of the children while we bask in the joy they give to us. We search for security during insecure times. For many there are only two choices, total self-centered ignorance that allows one to not see what’s around them, or unbridled pessimism that drags one into the depth of despair. For most of us there is a middle ground. What follows is something that was sent to me and I think if everyone would do what it suggests we will have made life better for others as well as ourselves.

 

Today let us promise ourselves….

To be so strong that nothing can disturb our peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person we meet.

To make all our friends feel that there is something special in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make our optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as we are about our own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature we meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of our self that we have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of ourselves and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as we are true to the best that is in us.

~~~

In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog. The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper fit.

“I can’t do that!” she said.  “The sweater is going to be a surprise!”

~~~

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She’s way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom thinks about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

~~~

Diner: I can’t eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!

Waiter: It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.

~~~

Every time a new Pope is elected, there’s a whole lot of rituals and ceremonies that have to be gone through, in accordance with tradition. Well there’s one tradition that very few people know about.

Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi seeks an audience. He is shown into the Pope’s presence, whereupon he presents him with a silver tray bearing a velvet cushion. On top of the cushion is an ancient, shriveled parchment envelope.

The Pope symbolically stretches out his arm in a gesture of rejection.

The Chief Rabbi then retires, taking the envelope with him and does not return until the next Pope is elected. John Paul II was intrigued by this ritual, whose origins were unknown to him. He instructed the best scholars of the Vatican to research it, but they came up with nothing. When the time came and the Chief Rabbi was shown into his presence, he faithfully enacted the ritual rejection but, as the Chief Rabbi turned to leave, he called him back.

“My brother,” the Holy Father whispered, “I must confess that we Catholics are ignorant of the meaning of this ritual enacted for centuries between us and you, the representative of the Jewish people.  I have to ask you, what is it all about?”

The Chief Rabbi shrugs and replies: “But we have no more idea than you do.  The origin of the ceremony is lost in the traditions of ancient history.”

The Pope said: “Let us retire to my private chambers and enjoy a glass of wine together, then, with your agreement, we shall open the envelope and discover at last the secret.”

The Chief Rabbi agreed.

Fortified in their resolve by the wine, they gingerly pried open the curling parchment envelope and with trembling fingers, the Chief Rabbi reached inside and extracted a folded sheet of similarly ancient paper.  As the Pope peered over his shoulder, he slowly opened it. They both gasped with shock. It was the check for the Last Supper.

~~~

TERRIBLE TWO’S: Having both kids at home all summer.

~~~

Family leaving Church after services:

Father; “That was the longest driest, least informative sermon I’ve ever heard.”

Mother; “The choir was terrible.  I never heard some of those hymns before, and they were singing them off key.”

Little Tommy; “I don’t know, all in all it wasn’t bad show.  Three of us for a buck.”

~~~

“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.”

Ingrid Bergman

~~~

On her way back from the concession stand, Sally asked a man at the end of the row, “Pardon me, but did I step on your foot before?”

Expecting an apology, the man said, “Indeed you did.”

The woman nodded. “Oh good. Then this is my row.”

~~~

“So,” Jane asked the detective she had hired.  “Did you trail my husband?”

“Yes ma’am.  I did.  I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment.”

A big smile crossed Jane’s face.  “Aha!  I’ve got him!” she said gloating.  “Is there any doubt what he was doing?”

“No ma’am.” replied the sleuth, “It’s pretty clear that he was following you.”

~~~

“Are you saying that your wife is outspoken?”

“Not by anyone I know of.”

~~~

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose.

Hsieh Tehyi

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

Tag Cloud