Ray's musings and humor

Today is your day

Treat yourself, you’re worth it!

Iram Javed


I have an idea, lets you and I have a great day today. Let’s close down our complaint department, either delegate any worry to someone else to fret about or write whatever it is down on a piece of paper and put the paper on the things to do pile for next week. I have decided that we need to reward ourselves, in fact I think I will give myself the pleasure of calling a friend or two and tell them that I am having a great day and since they are so special I want them to have one too. This is the day you can give yourself permission to do something frivolous, have dinner someplace special − hopefully with someone special, catch a movie, see a play, do something silly, you get the idea. After all it is your special day. If it is too late in the day to start today you can do it on Monday, just do it, don’t put it off to someday for someday never seems to arrive.

Here are some other ideas on ways to reward yourself from an article by Stephanie Osfield. Whatever it is you do remember it is your gift to yourself for being able to get through the bad days. Have fun, I know I will.

For $5 or less, why not…


Sip on a cup of tea in a cozy café. I’ll be getting a Grande Latte at my favorite Starbucks.

Finish the day with a long, soak in the tub with a glossy magazine.

Enjoy a leisurely morning — take the phone off the hook and spend the morning in your pajamas reading the newspaper, a book or poring over a few magazines.

Savor a celebratory glass of wine with dinner.

For $10 or less, why not…

Pick up that new book you’ve had your eye on.

Download the latest album from your favorite band.

Buy a relaxation tape and use it daily.

Share dessert with your partner at a café.

For $20 to $45, why not…

Phone your distant friends. Choose a time when the phone company has low rates and you can spend hours catching up.

Get yourself a haircut or blowout, or a 30-minute massage.


I have my own list and I am sure you do too. One caveat though, if you do go skinny dipping don’t get caught!


Getting rewarded for work done well is one of the most positive experiences one can possibly get. Mostly, nobody bothers with it, so you have to do it yourself. Reward yourself and become a happier person.

Lucas Die


“The Homeowner’s Guide To Tools”

Hammer – In ancient times a hammer was usedto inflict pain on one’s enemies.  Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself.

Screwdriver – The drink ordered at the local bar after you call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage you did while trying to change out a light socket with your handy screwdriver.

Phillips Screwdriver – The bar drink that you order when the damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.

Pliers – A device used to extend your reach the necessary few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

Multi-Pliers – Contain a handy assortment of sharp and dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn on a homeowner’s belt to increase testosterone levels.

Electronic Stud Finder – An annoying device that never goes off when you point it at yourself.

Halogen Light – A work light that lights up your backyard with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you’re working on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

Cordless Drill – A device that lessens your chance of electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.

Cordless Telephone – The handyman’s 911.

Chain saw – Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that you accidentally built completely around yourself.

Vise Grips – A pair of helping hands that doesn’t critique the job you’re doing or offer advice.


Live before you die.


Sadie stopped by an usher at the entrance to the synagogue.

The usher asked, “Are you a friend of the bride?”

Sadie quickly relied, “No, of course not. I am the groom’s mother.”


Make up a language and ask people for directions.


Soon after their last child left home for college, Linda’s husband was resting next to her on the couch with his head in her lap.

She carefully removed his glasses. “You know, honey,” she said sweetly, “Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married.”

“Honey,” he replied with a grin, “Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!”


Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham.


The class assignment was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Jimmy got up to read his, “Papa fell in the well last week…” he began.

“Good heavens,” shrieked Ms. Roseapple, “Is he all right now?”

“He must be,” replied Jimmy, “He stopped yelling for help yesterday.”


“The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.”

Robert Frost


An old wild west fort is about to be attacked. The wily old General sends for his trusty Indian Scout. “Yumti-Bi,” he said, “you must use all your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here.”

Yumti-Bi laid down and put his ear to the ground… “Heap large — war party,” he says, “maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. All have war paint…many many guns. Medicine man also with them.”

“Good grief!” exclaims the General, “you can tell all of that just by listening to the ground???”

“No, General,” replied the Indian, “I can see under the gate.”


“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.”

Edwin Elliot


Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.


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