Ray's musings and humor

Let’s celebrate today

“It matters not how long we live, but how.”

Festus Bailey

I mentioned to you the other day that I had attended a celebration of the life of my late friend Peter. I just want to remind you that neither of us has to limit the celebration of our lives until after we are gone. In fact if we are at all smart we will celebrate our own lives every day. You do know don’t you that we do have much to celebrate, we breathe, we have a place to lay our head, we have people we care about and who care about us, the list is almost limitless if we just take the time to appreciate the gifts we have been given.

Here is a simple poem I have saved. Most will read it quickly and move on, I hope you will read and savior it slowly for its message contains the key to happiness.

 

Life Is for Living

Life is a gift we’re given each and every day.

Dream about tomorrow, but live for today.

To live a little, you’ve got to love a whole lot.

Love turns the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Life’s a journey

always worth taking.

Take time to smell the roses… and tulips…

and daffodils… and lilacs… and sunflowers…

Count blessings like children count stars.

The secret of a happy life isn’t buried in a

treasure chest… it lies within your heart.

It’s the little moments that make life big.

Don’t wait. Make memories today.

Celebrate your life!

Author Unknown

~~~

“Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.”

Henry Van Dyke

~~~

Here is a refresher for the guys.

Woman’s Dictionary

* Yes = No.

* No = Yes.

* Maybe = No.

* I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry.

* We need = I want.

* It’s your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now.

* Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.

* We need to talk = I need to complain.

* Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to.

* I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron.

* This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

* I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper.

* I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

* Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

* How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate.

* I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

* You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

* Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.

~~~

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.

~~~

A doctor was administering a test for memory loss to three old gents at a Veteran’s Clinic.

He asked the first one, “What is 3 times 3?” And he replied, “One Hundred and Fifty Six.”

The doctor turned to the second old man. “What’s three times three?” The second old man said, “Tuesday.”

The doctor then asked the same of the third man who answered, “Nine.”

Thinking he was getting somewhere the doc asked, “And how did you arrive at that answer?”

The old vet answered, “Easy Doc…I just subtracted Tuesday from 156 and I got nine.”

~~~

Son to father:  Can you help me with my ethics homework, or would that be missing the point?

~~~

Our first day at a resort, my wife and I decided to hit the beach.  When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed.  I grabbed my cooler and was on my way back out when I stopped at the door and asked, “Can we drink beer on the beach?”

“Sure,” the maid replied, “but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first.”

~~~

“Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don’t reach them till they’re in their 40s.”

~~~

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilt.”

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning’s Sunday school lesson was about.

He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”

~~~

I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

~~~

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

“So how was it?” his mother asked when they returned home.

“Great,” Little Johnny replied.

“Did you and your father have a good time?” asked his mother.

“Yeah, Daddy especially liked it,” exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, “One of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!”

~~~~~~

“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.”

Oliver Wendell Holmes

~~~

 

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@yahoo.com. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal and https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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