Ray's musings and humor

Stay Positive

Ray’s Daily

Decenber 8, 2022

http://rays-daily.com

“Live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive.”

Matt Cameron

I hope you have had a good week so far. Mine has been busy. My eye doctor has found that I have early stage glaucoma, not good news! My audiologist reprogramed my hearing aids and I can hear much better, really good news. Now I just need to work on sustaining a positive attitude.

7 Notes to Self You Should Repeat to Yourself this Week

1. “I will be too busy watering my own grass to notice if yours is greener.”

2. “I will stop focusing on how stressed I am and remember how blessed I am. Complaining won’t change my reality, but a positive attitude will.”

3. “I will remind myself that being positive does not mean ignoring the negative. Being positive means overcoming the negative. There’s a big difference between the two.”

4. “There’s also a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. And life is short. As often as possible, I will invest in the activities that move me.”

5. “I cannot control everything that happens; I can only control the way I respond to what happens. In my response is my power.”

6. “I will not get caught up in what could’ve been or should’ve been. I will look instead at the power and possibility of what is, right now.”

7. “When I find that I don’t have time for what matters, I will stop doing (and thinking about) things that don’t.”

The bottom line is, despite the real world challenges you face, the biggest and most complex obstacle you will have to personally overcome on a daily basis is your own mind. In other words, you aren’t responsible for everything negative that happens, but you ARE responsible for undoing the self-defeating thinking and behavioral patterns that these undesirable experiences create.

Angel Chernoff

~~~

“A positive attitude is a person’s passport to a better tomorrow.”

Jeff Keller

~~~

“Dilbert’s Work Rules”

If you can’t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you’re going to do.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a dern fool about it.

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back.

Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.”

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done.

Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

~~~

Money can’t buy everything… but then again neither can no money.

~~~

Five Jewish men who influenced the history of Western civilization.

Moses said the law is everything.

Jesus said love is everything.

Marx said capital is everything.

Freud said sex is everything.

Einstein said everything is relative.

~~~

If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.

Gail Sheehy

~~~

It doesn’t hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

“Well,” said the director, “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No” said the director, “A normal person would pull the plug … Do you want a room with or without a view?”

~~~

I am proud of my superior modesty!

~~~

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing to you. I had to Elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice, even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion dad, she’s pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.

Even though you won’t care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too.

Joan taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, John

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

~~~

“When the negative thoughts come—and they will; they come to all of us—it’s not enough to just not dwell on it…. You’ve got to replace it with a positive thought.”

Joel Osteen

~~~

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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