Ray's musings and humor

Archive for March, 2018

Good Morning

Ray’s Daily

March 21, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.

William James

good morning (19)

The good new is I am having lunch with an old friend today and tomorrow with two others. The not so good news is that I missed my workout yesterday in order to take my wife to her exercise. I missed a couple of days last week as well, we are going to have to get me moving before six am if I am going to meet her needs as well as mine.

It is the second day of Spring but they forgot to tell winter as it continues to be cold a blustery here in Indiana. I am looking forward to warmer days.

Today I want to share with you a short poem that is a good reminder about how we should live our lives.

 

     Outlook

Priscilla Leonard

 

Forget each kindness that you do

As soon as you have done it.

Forget the praise that falls to you

The moment you have won it.

Forget the slander that you hear

Before you can repeat it.

Forget each slight, each spite, each sheer

Wherever you may meet it.

 

Remember every kindness done

To you, whate’er its measure.

Remember praise by others won

And pass it on with pleasure.

Remember every promise made

And keep it to the letter.

Remember those who lend you aid

And be a grateful debtor.

 

Remember all the happiness

That comes your way in living.

Forget each worry and distress;

Be hopeful and forgiving.

Remember good, remember truth,

Remember Heaven’s above you,

And you will find, through age and youth,

True joys and hearts to love you.

~~~

In spite of unseasonable wind, snow and unexpected weather of all sorts a gardener still plants. And tends what they have planted .believing that Spring will come.

Mary Anne Radmacher

~~~

At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen.

“Paddy,” he asked casually, “didn’t you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?”

“That I did, sir.”

“And you are a bricklayer!  It sure is a funny world.  Things in life aren’t divided equally, are they?”

“No, that they ain’t sir,” agreed Paddy, as he proudly slapped the mortar along the line of bricks.  “Me poor brother couldn’t do this to save his life!”

~~~

“Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.”

Dave Barry.

~~~

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.  Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying A dollar per point.” The next class the professor handed the tests back out.

This student got back his test and $64 change.

~~~

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

~~~

On his doctor’s orders, Mel had moved to Arizona. Two weeks later, he was dead. His body was shipped back home, where the undertaker prepared it for the services.

Mel’s brother came in to make sure everything was taken care of. “Would you like to see the body?” the undertaker asked.

“I might as well take a look at it before the others get here.”

The undertaker led him into the next room and opened the top half of the casket. He stood back and proudly displayed his work.

“He looks good,” the brother said. “Those two weeks in Arizona were just the thing for him!”

~~~

A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

~~~

During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up.

The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn’t know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a homebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple.  The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was.

So he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.

The one whose followers stood during prayer said to the old man, “Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?”

The old man answered, “No, that is not the tradition.”

The one whose followers sat asked, “Is the tradition to sit during prayer?”

The old man answered, “No, that is not the tradition.”

Then the rabbi said to the old man, “The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand!”

The old man interrupted, exclaiming, “THAT is our tradition!”

~~~

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do. Even mistakes mean you’re trying.”

Susan Gale

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

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I’m Sorry

Ray’s Daily

March 20, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.”

Mary Oliver

attention

I just reread the piece I am going to send you today. It was sent by Marc Chernoff a year or so ago. After reading it I feel I should apologize to many of you for I recognize that I have often been guilty of using these bad habits, especially in my working years.

I hope as I have aged I have done better. I have edited the piece for space but when you read it you will get the idea.

9 Negative Social Habits to Quit Today

There’s something to be said for slow and steady progress.  But there’s also something to be said for strong, decisive, sweeping action.  When it comes to bad, self-defeating habits, there’s no time like today to quit cold turkey. 

Seeking attention by complaining.

We all need to share our troubles with friends or strangers from time to time, but don’t fall into the habit of turning conversations into your own personal dumping ground 100 percent of the time.  It’s an easy way to get attention, but it’s a poor way to keep it; and it’s a poor way to view your life.

Focusing on your inner monologue instead of the dialogue in front of you.

Stay focused on the other person’s words and points.  If you compose your answers while someone else is speaking, you’re really only having half a conversation.

Multi-tasking while you chat.

Even if you are a professional multi-tasker, if you’re talking to someone, talk to them, and that’s it.  Don’t browse online, don’t watch TV, don’t update your to-do list, and please, don’t eat while you’re on the phone. 

Not paying attention to the people you care about most.

Pretending to listen while your mind wanders to your work day, etc.  Do you really think your loved ones can’t tell?  They can.  And even more importantly, they need you to listen sincerely and thoughtfully. 

Constantly fishing for compliments.

“Oh, I look terrible today.” – after someone compliments you.  “I just threw it together at the last minute.” – when you obviously dressed up.  “I’m really not good at things like this.” – when the people you’re with know you are.  Please.  Stop.

De-emphasizing compliments with self-effacing remarks.

It’s okay to say “thank you” when you’re complimented.  By making a self-effacing comment, you nearly force the other person to repeat their compliment, which is not a gracious thing to do. 

Cutting people off mid-sentence.

The only time this is okay is when you’re in an intense brainstorming session.  Or you’ve got an urgent situation to attend to.  Most of the time, interrupting just means that you’re missing the best parts of the conversation.

An unsupportive attitude.

The greatest compliment you can give to someone is to believe in them and let them know you care.  When you see something true, good and beautiful in someone, don’t hesitate to express your appreciation.

Trying to please everyone.

This one is about keeping your sanity.  No matter how loud their opinions are, others cannot choose who you are.  The question should not be, “Why don’t they like me when I’m being me?” it should be, “Why am I wasting all my time and energy worrying what they think of me?” 

~~~

“The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.”

William Hazlitt

~~~

A young Jewish man falls in love with a Native American woman and they decide to get married. When his mother hears the news, however, she is extremely distressed because she wanted him to marry a nice Jewish girl. When she hears that not only is he marrying this Native American girl but has decided to live with her on the reservation, the mother becomes so upset that she refuses to even speak to the boy, practically disowning him.

After a year, the son telephones the mother to tell her that he and his wife are expecting a child. The mother is happy for him, but there is still quite a bit of tension in the air.

Nine months later, the son calls the mother again. “Mom,” he says, “I just wanted you to know that last night my wife gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I also wanted to tell you that we’ve talked it over and we have decided to give the boy a Jewish name.”

Upon hearing this, the mother is overjoyed. “Oh, son, this is wonderful,” she gushes. “I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life. You have made me the happiest woman in the world.”

“That’s great, Mom,” replies the son.

“And what,” asks the mother, “is the baby’s name?”

The son proudly replies, “Smoked Whitefish!”

~~~

Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.

Ellen Sue Stern

~~~

There is the story of a person who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: “I have good news and bad news.

“The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.

“The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.”

~~~

I began my education at a very early age. In fact, right after I left college.

Winston Churchill

~~~

A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer.

The man asked, “How often do I take these.”

“Let’s start off with once every six hours. But they’re not for you.” replied the doctor. “They’re for your wife.”

~~~

“Don’t pretend to be what you’re not, instead, pretend to what you want to be, it is not pretence, it is a journey to self-realization.”

Michael Bassey Johnson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

Do you hear it?

Ray’s Daily

March 19, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

None so deaf as those that will not hear. None so blind as those that will not see.

Matthew Henry

listen

If you are like I am you are overloaded with information. E-mails, 24 by 7 news broadcasts, text messages and more keep our minds filled with clutter to the point that we sometimes miss what is important. It is especially disappointing when we miss the quiet things that have the capability of brightening our days.

It seems to me that many of us have created built in filters that only allow us to hear what we have been led to believe is important information when in reality it is not as important as the little things we miss, I like the following story as it reminds me that we control what we hear or remember.

What Do You Hear?

By Kay Heitsch

     You can learn something new every day if you listen.

     There’s a story about a Native American walking in New York City with a friend. The streets were filled with people and cars were honking.

     All of a sudden the Native American said, “I hear a cricket.”

     His friend responded, “Are you crazy? You couldn’t possibly hear a cricket in all this noise.”

     The Native American walked across the street to a bush and found the cricket.

     “That’s incredible,” his friend said. “You must have superhuman ears!”

     “No,” the Native American said. “My ears are no different from yours. It all depends on what you’re listening for.”

     He reached into his pocket, pulled out a few coins, and discreetly dropped them on the sidewalk. Even with all the noise of the city people’s heads turned to see if the money was theirs.

     What we hear depends on what’s important to us.

     Our Bible verse says, “Ears that hear and eyes that see—the LORD has made them both.” Proverbs 20:12.

     What do we hear? The LORD has given us ears and eyes. We can learn something new every day if we will look and listen.

~~~

If you see the sunset, does it have to mean something? If you hear the birds singing does it have to have a message?

Robert Wilson

~~~

A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup of coffee. The waitress, who is very busy, gives him his coffee and rushes off to help the numerous customers having lunch at the diner. The man, who uses both creamer and sugar in his coffee, notices that the container is empty.

As the waitress rushes by, he asks her to bring him cream and sugar for his coffee.

The waitress, busier than she can ever remember being before, rushes to the back to pick up more orders. As she passes the cabinet where the extra sugar and cream are kept, she sets a plate down and puts sugar cubes and creamer packets in her bosom because both her hands are full. After she has served the two plates she was holding, she returns to the man and asks him, “How many sugar cubes did you want in your coffee?”

The man says, “Two would be fine.”

She reaches into her bra, pulls out two sugar cubes and drops them into his cup. “And cream?” She asks.

The man looks at her, squarely in the eye and says, “I don’t think so!”

~~~

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

John A. Shedd

~~~

Some Hollywood Squares quotes I don’t think I’ve seen before…

  1. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
  2. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
  3. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
  4. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes!
  5. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
  6. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
  7. What are “Do It,” “I Can Help,” and “I Can’t Get Enough”?
  8. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
  9. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
  10. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries!
  11. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
  12. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
  13. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
  14. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.
  15. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
  16. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
  17. Jackie Gleason reported that he firmly believes in them and has already seen them on at least 2 occasions.
  18. Charley Weaver: His feet.

~~~

“I recently went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn’t want to go because I’ve put on, like, 100 pounds!”

Wendy Liebman

~~~

My colleagues and I recently received this email from the facilities department: “Due to construction, your office may be either cooler or warmer than usual on Tuesday. Please dress accordingly.”

~~~

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.

Unknown

~~~

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw pair a of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully step stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts and tucked everything back into place.

On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his sewn into his forehead.

~~~

“There is always music in life. You just need to have the heart to hear it.”

Avijeet Das

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We are in it together

Ray’s Daily

March 16, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Hear me, four quarters of the world – a relative I am! Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is! Give me the eyes to see and the strength to understand, that I may be like you. With your power only can I face the winds.

Black Elk

people

My computer and me are quitting early today so we are sending you what we published twelve years ago.

Ray

Ray’s Daily first published on March 16, 2006

Globalization, immigration, melting ice caps, pandemics, natural disasters, genocide, trade deficits, famine, poverty, brain drain, the internet, instant news, terrorism, conflict, global collaboration, the list could on and on. Never in history have people like you and I been so much a part of a global community, the world has become the city in which we all live. And just like in the cities of the past we are too often segregated and tied to our local neighborhoods while we too easily miss what is happening on the other side of the tracks. Our global neighborhoods are constantly changing, there is new music to hear, new food to taste, and really interesting people to meet. Our new neighbors have different accents, they do much of the work that needs to be done, and they enrich our communities by bringing some of their culture into our lives. Just as it was in America at the turn of the century, people, cultures, ideas, and values are on the move. And just like it was then we can choose to isolate ourselves or enrich our lives by embracing the good things that are there for us when we team with our neighbors.

There was never a time when we were needed more nor when the tasks appear more daunting. Unfortunately, some people have locked themselves away, often due to their fear of the unknown. Others are so centered on instant self-gratification that they are blind to the investments we must make if we are to avoid the disaster that may befall us in the future only because we did not care enough. However, I sincerely believe that the majority of our neighbors are good people, just like you and I, and that their lack of involvement is because they are overwhelmed by it all and don’t know where to find out how they might do more.

Fortunately there are those trying to do something about the problem. As an example, I recently had the good fortune to sit in on a meeting of leaders from various organizations that are dedicated to building bridges between Central Indiana and the rest of the world. Our discussions gravitated to those fellow citizens who want to learn and do, but just don’t know how to get started. The group decided they would establish an on-line clearing house to match those that want to do something with those who have something to do. It will be like an internet based employment agency for volunteers or a dating service for those that want to bring some adventure into their lives by becoming involved in the world around us. I was glad I had the opportunity to meet with a group of leaders who are doing something, rather than meeting with people who just sit back observing our problems while missing our opportunities.

I never know what I am going to write when I sit down at my computer each day to put the daily together for its midnight trip around the world. As you often see, I am a champion typo generator, I use bad grammar, and am prone to disjointed thoughts. Often my passion for the subject at hand takes hold and results in lengthy pieces, today is one of those days.

~~~

We have some great neighbors, do yourself a favor and go out and meet some of them. I know you will be glad you did.

Ray

~~~

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?” One man stepped forward. “Aye, Captain, I know how to pray.”

“Good,” said the captain, “You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets. We’re one short.”

~~~

At times I was asked to provide references for former employees by companies considering hiring them.  On one firm’s form was the question: “Was this person a steady worker?”

Since the guy was a well known do-nothing, I entered “Not just steady, but motionless” in the space provided.

~~~

She said: My daughter Glenda was watching me prepare for bed. I had washed my face and was applying face cream. Glenda asked why I was putting that stuff on. I told her it was to make Momma beautiful. She immediately informed me, “They lied to you, Momma”!

~~~

One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.

Chinese proverb

~~~

Security experts and federal government authorities warn that offspring of the dangerous “I love you” e-mail virus are now on the loose. As a public service, Mombeau presents the following list of “I Love You” mutations and how to recognize them:

The “I Love You, But I’m Shy” virus never actually invades your computer, but collects data about it worshipfully from afar.

The “Love The One You’re With” virus hangs around your computer, but the whole thing is just temporary until it can find the computer that it really wants to invade.

The “Happily Married” virus invades only one computer and stays with it for life.

The “Unhappily Married” virus spends a long time negotiating with a computer, finally invades it, and then strays to other computers from time to time.

The “I Want A Divorce” virus sends repeated, hard-to-read messages that your computer isn’t working and takes half of your computer’s best data in an ugly network session.

The “Stalker” virus spends unnatural amounts of time monitoring your computer, collecting data your computer has thrown away and tries to record all of its functions. And it writes rude messages to any other computer with which yours connects on any regular basis.

The “Forever Single” virus causes your computer to focus solely on other computers with which it is totally incompatible or prove generally unavailable.

The “Deadbeat Dad” virus invades your computer, spawns an entirely new database, then refuses to help update it as it grows.

~~~

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~~~

One evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished – something’ was up.

It turns out that John had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.

The night went well and the next day, she told her office friends all about it.

“We had a great dinner. John even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening.”

“But what about afterward?” asked her friends.

“Oh, that was perfect too. John was too tired…”

~~~

Are you humbly grateful? Or grumbly hateful?

Pastor Roland Smith

~~~

A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy.

“Nothing easier,” Twain replied. “No man can serve two masters.”

~~~

The really happy man is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

~~~

Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and sent him into the river where he drowned.

The following Sunday his widow, all decked out in deepest black, was standing on the church steps after Mass, receiving condolences, when an old friend of the contractor came up.

“I’m sorry, Mary, for your trouble,” offered the friend. “Did Mike leave you well fixed?”

“Oh, he did!” she said. “He left me almost a half million dollars.”

“Well now, that’s not bad for a man who couldn’t read or write.”

“Nor swim either,” added the widow.

~~~

The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.

Frederick Buechner

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Make it a good one

Ray’s Daily

March 15, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Trust yourself, then you will know how to live.

Goethe

Enjoy your day

I got some needed work done yesterday and now have time to enjoy today, including lunch with a favorite performer. The weather is pretty good and spring is but a few days away. Now if Washington would get its act together I could do what I like to do and that is enjoy my leisure.

It is not always easy to avoid excessive seriousness but the alternative stinks. So I will continue avoid letting the turmoil cloud my vision and focus on the good stuff.

Here are some thoughts I picked up along the way for you to think about. Oh, and by the way enjoy your day as much as I will mine.

Some Wisdom…

  • Count your blessings at the end of every day – don’t focus on the problems you’ve faced that day; rather, think of all the good things that happened and the happiness they gave you.
  • Don’t allow your mind to remain idle – it may be clichéd, but it’s also true that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. So stay busy and keep doing something or the other to prevent negative thoughts from creeping in.
  • Stop negative thoughts before they form completely – if you find yourself becoming depressed because your mind is taking a negative bent, stop those thoughts in their tracks and start consciously thinking of positive things.
  • Spend time with people who love you and make you feel good about yourself– quality relationships make life worth living.
  • Anytime you feel that the weight of your burden is hard to bear, talk to a friend or someone with a sympathetic ear – even if they cannot do anything to help you out, just the fact that you have someone on your side is uplifting enough.
  • And finally, look around you before you start to feel sorry for yourself – there are people in situations that are a hundred times worse than yours, yet they manage to get through each day.

~~~

You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.

John Mason

~~~

These are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system.  All teachers were reprimanded…but boy, are these funny!!!

  1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
  2. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
  3. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
  4. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
  5. The student has a “full six-pack”; but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
  6. This child has been working with glue too much.
  7. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
  8. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
  9. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.

~~~

We have to believe in free will.  We have no choice.

~~~

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, -Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours – He said, -Yes, but not in a row.-

Steven Wright

~~~

Benefits of Growing Older

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run into a burning building.

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

You can eat dinner at 4:00.

You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

Your eyes won’t get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

~~~

The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

~~~

“I never would have married you if I knew how stupid you were!” Shouted the woman to her husband!

The husband replied, “You should’ve known how stupid I was the minute I asked you to marry me!”

~~~

A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple?  How devoted they are?  He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”

I would love to,” replied the husband, “but I don’t know her well enough.”

~~~

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference.  The little difference is attitude.  The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.

Clement Stone

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Thank you for making your world a better place

Ray’s Daily

March 14, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

Robert A. Heinlein

Be so happy

The good news is that I am grateful that so many of you are friends. The bad news is that there are so many of you that I seldom, if ever see. Even though that is the case I regard you all and wish I had a way to be closer.

When I recently read the following article, I thought about us and how I hope the Daily sometimes brightens your day. Each of us has opportunities we should not miss to bring a little happiness into someone’s life.

10 Small Yet Big Ways to Brighten Someone’s World

By Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

Our actions matter. Even the smallest acts can have significant impact, because we have an incredible power that we often forget about: We have the power to brighten someone’s world, in big and small ways. A kind gesture can do everything from make someone smile to soothe their sorrow to restore their faith in humanity. This might sound dramatic, but it’s true.

As illustrator Emily Coxhead writes in Make Someone Happy: A Creative Journal for Brightening the World Around You, “You are one in over 7.4 billion humans on this planet and although you may not be able to change the whole world, you can make a few of those worlds a tiny bit brighter.”

Below are 10 ideas from Coxhead’s journal to try this week.

Write a letter to your best friend on their very worst day.

Write a letter to anyone starting with: “Dear ___________. Thank you so much for making the world a whole lot happier…”

List several ways you can make the world or somebody’s world a little happier.

Write a letter to your train conductor/pilot/taxi or bus driver, and leave it for them to find. You might start with: “Thank you for getting me home safely…”

Give someone your full, undivided attention—without being distracted by your phone or anything else. Reflect on what you learned.

Write a letter (or email) to a schoolteacher who helped or inspired you.

Thank someone today for simply being who they are, for something they did, for what they do, or for something they said.

Jot down five kind messages to any five people.

Send a postcard to a loved one the next time you think of them or are reminded of them. Use this template: “Hello ______.  I just wanted to let you know I thought of you on ________. ____________ reminded me of you and it made me happy because ____________. Love from __________.”

Kindness doesn’t necessarily reside in sweeping, must-make-a-sacrifice gestures. Kindness resides in how we listen to someone, holding space for them to share whatever they need to share, without judging or fixing or even reassuring them. Kindness resides in sitting with someone’s pain instead of pretending it doesn’t exist. Kindness resides in letters that express love and support. Kindness resides in showing someone that they are appreciated and important; that they are seen.

~~~

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

Buddha

~~~

Some guys in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”

“You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?” asked the clerk. The fellow replied, “Um, I’ll have to check with the rest of the boys.”  He went out to his truck and within a few minutes returned to the clerk stating, “Yep, I meant two-by-fours.”

“Alright,” replied the clerk. “How long do you need them?”

He stood there scratching his head while pondering this question and replied, “Well, um, a long time.  We’re gonna build a house.”

~~~

Minds are like parachutes–they work best when open.

Thomas R. Dewar

~~~

Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he’d put an end to things by saying boldly, “After our second child, I’ll just have a vasectomy.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, the bride retorted, “Well, I hope you’ll love the third one as if it’s your own.”

~~~

Sally told her friend, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.”

~~~

A faith healer asked Moshe how his family was getting along. “They ‘re all fine,” Moshe said, “except my uncle. He’s very sick.”

“Your uncle is not sick,” the faith healer said. “He THINKS he’s sick.”

Two weeks later, the faith healer ran into Moshe on the street. “How is your uncle getting along?” he asked.

Moshe shrugged, “He THINKS he’s dead.”

~~~

A very wise mute once said:

~~~

If school kids hiding under their desks in 1950 were protected from atomic bombs, is there any reason not to believe duct tape and plastic sheeting will not protect against nuclear, chemical, and biological terrorist attacks?

Lawrence Brotherton

~~~

“To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness.”

Mary Stuart

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Stop Waiting

Ray’s Daily

March 13, 2018

http://www.rays-daily.com/

Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them.

William Arthur Ward

39981057 - illustration of stop waiting sign with web button

I edited the following article that I read yesterday so I could share it with you. It reminded me of how often really good things happened in my life because I did not wait for a better time. It also reminded me of what I may have missed because I let an opportunity go by.

Too many of us seem to feel that if we hesitate good fortune will find us when there is little chance that it will unless we are willing do more than just wait. While we just lazily let the days go by we continue to leave potential joy go by. Don’t be like so many folks who have grown old with much of their time spent thinking about what might have been.

Hear The Music

Author Unknown

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven’t thought about it, don’t have it on their schedule, didn’t know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I’ve tried to be a little more flexible.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches… We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of “I’m going to,” “I plan on,” and “Someday, when things are settled down a bit.”

When anyone calls my ‘seize the moment’ friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you’re ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

Now… go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to do… not something on your ‘SHOULD DO’ list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask “How are you?” Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, “We’ll do it tomorrow.” And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say “Hi”?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift… Thrown away… Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

~~~

If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

Lemony Snicket

~~~

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.

“You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman to the fisherman, “you should be working rather than lying on the beach!”

The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?”

“Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer.

“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling.

The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!”

“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again.

The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!” he said.

“And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman.

The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!”

Once again the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?”

The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”

~~~

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Harold Whitman

~~~

A comely redhead was thrilled to have obtained a divorce and dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to mention his healthy income and good looks. In fact, she realized, she had fallen head over heals in love with him, even though he was a married man.

“Oh, Sam,” she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial, “isn’t there some way we can be together, the way we were meant to be?”

Taking her by the shoulders, Sam proceeded to scold her, “Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, lying on the phone, hurried meetings in sordid motels rooms – is that really what you want for us?”

“No, no…” she sobbed, heartsick.

“Oh,” said the lawyer. “Well, it was only a suggestion.”

~~~

What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers?

“Is anything all right?”

~~~

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question.

“Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”

“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”

~~~

The love of one’s country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?

Pablo Casals

~~~

Nancy:  Clancy, you worry waaay too much. Why, most of the things you worry about never even happen!

Clancy: Well, there you go…see how well it works?

~~~

Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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