March 20, 2018
“To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.”
I just reread the piece I am going to send you today. It was sent by Marc Chernoff a year or so ago. After reading it I feel I should apologize to many of you for I recognize that I have often been guilty of using these bad habits, especially in my working years.
I hope as I have aged I have done better. I have edited the piece for space but when you read it you will get the idea.
9 Negative Social Habits to Quit Today
There’s something to be said for slow and steady progress. But there’s also something to be said for strong, decisive, sweeping action. When it comes to bad, self-defeating habits, there’s no time like today to quit cold turkey.
Seeking attention by complaining.
We all need to share our troubles with friends or strangers from time to time, but don’t fall into the habit of turning conversations into your own personal dumping ground 100 percent of the time. It’s an easy way to get attention, but it’s a poor way to keep it; and it’s a poor way to view your life.
Focusing on your inner monologue instead of the dialogue in front of you.
Stay focused on the other person’s words and points. If you compose your answers while someone else is speaking, you’re really only having half a conversation.
Multi-tasking while you chat.
Even if you are a professional multi-tasker, if you’re talking to someone, talk to them, and that’s it. Don’t browse online, don’t watch TV, don’t update your to-do list, and please, don’t eat while you’re on the phone.
Not paying attention to the people you care about most.
Pretending to listen while your mind wanders to your work day, etc. Do you really think your loved ones can’t tell? They can. And even more importantly, they need you to listen sincerely and thoughtfully.
Constantly fishing for compliments.
“Oh, I look terrible today.” – after someone compliments you. “I just threw it together at the last minute.” – when you obviously dressed up. “I’m really not good at things like this.” – when the people you’re with know you are. Please. Stop.
De-emphasizing compliments with self-effacing remarks.
It’s okay to say “thank you” when you’re complimented. By making a self-effacing comment, you nearly force the other person to repeat their compliment, which is not a gracious thing to do.
Cutting people off mid-sentence.
The only time this is okay is when you’re in an intense brainstorming session. Or you’ve got an urgent situation to attend to. Most of the time, interrupting just means that you’re missing the best parts of the conversation.
An unsupportive attitude.
The greatest compliment you can give to someone is to believe in them and let them know you care. When you see something true, good and beautiful in someone, don’t hesitate to express your appreciation.
Trying to please everyone.
This one is about keeping your sanity. No matter how loud their opinions are, others cannot choose who you are. The question should not be, “Why don’t they like me when I’m being me?” it should be, “Why am I wasting all my time and energy worrying what they think of me?”
“The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.”
A young Jewish man falls in love with a Native American woman and they decide to get married. When his mother hears the news, however, she is extremely distressed because she wanted him to marry a nice Jewish girl. When she hears that not only is he marrying this Native American girl but has decided to live with her on the reservation, the mother becomes so upset that she refuses to even speak to the boy, practically disowning him.
After a year, the son telephones the mother to tell her that he and his wife are expecting a child. The mother is happy for him, but there is still quite a bit of tension in the air.
Nine months later, the son calls the mother again. “Mom,” he says, “I just wanted you to know that last night my wife gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I also wanted to tell you that we’ve talked it over and we have decided to give the boy a Jewish name.”
Upon hearing this, the mother is overjoyed. “Oh, son, this is wonderful,” she gushes. “I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life. You have made me the happiest woman in the world.”
“That’s great, Mom,” replies the son.
“And what,” asks the mother, “is the baby’s name?”
The son proudly replies, “Smoked Whitefish!”
Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.
Ellen Sue Stern
There is the story of a person who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: “I have good news and bad news.
“The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.
“The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.”
I began my education at a very early age. In fact, right after I left college.
A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, he nodded and wrote the man a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer.
The man asked, “How often do I take these.”
“Let’s start off with once every six hours. But they’re not for you.” replied the doctor. “They’re for your wife.”
“Don’t pretend to be what you’re not, instead, pretend to what you want to be, it is not pretence, it is a journey to self-realization.”
Michael Bassey Johnson
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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