.“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
I know we have discussed in the past how debilitating perfectionism can be but I still see far too many who suffer because of it. I have seen numerous opportunities missed because of delays created by the belief that more work can make something that is very good even better.
In fact in the past I have benefitted by imperfection. Years ago when I had technical responsibility for a new computer introduction I found that if I distributed a less than perfect solution for a design flaw to key people they would quickly respond with a design change that would solve the problem. I don’t advocate purposely misinforming any one, I am just saying that the sooner information sees the light of day, the sooner it will be reviewed and if there are flaws we will hear from readers and can quickly make any corrections needed.
I also like the fact that perfectionism avoidance goes a long way to allow fret-free peace of mind. I also have found over the years that perfectionists are really hard to work with for they spend far too much time on why we are not ready than in finding why we are.
Here are some tips I extracted from an article entitled Common Habits of Unhappy People written by Henrik Edberg that I find worthy, I hope you will too.
Aiming for perfection.
Does life has to be perfect before you are happy?
Do you have to behave in a perfect way and get perfect results to be happy?
Then happiness will not be easy to find. Setting the bar for your performance at an inhuman level usually leads to low self-esteem and feeling like you are not good enough even though you may have had a lot of good or excellent results. You and what you do is never enough good enough except maybe once in a while when feels like something goes just perfect.
How to overcome this habit:
Three things that helped me to kick the perfectionism habit and become more relaxed:
Go for good enough. Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else never being finished. So go for good enough instead. Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.
Have a deadline. I set deadlines every time that start with a new premium guide. Because about a year ago, when I was working on my second e-book, I realized that just working on it and releasing it when it was done would not work. Because I could always find stuff to add to it. So I had to set a deadline. Setting a deadline gave me a kick in the butt and it is generally good way to help you to let go of a need to polish things a bit too much.
Realize what it costs you when you buy into myths of perfection. This was a very powerful reason for me to let go of perfectionism and one I tell myself still if I find thoughts of perfection pop up in my mind. By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it. But in real life it clashes with reality and tends to cause much suffering and stress within you and in the people around you. It can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world. I find it very helpful to remind myself of this simple fact.
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Lieberman’s law: Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
Denniston’s law: Virtue is its own punishment.
Gold’s law: If the shoe fits, its ugly.
Finster’s law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Hanlon’s razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Green’s law of debate: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
First rule of history: History doesn’t repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
Oliver’s law of location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Harrison’s postulate: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
The new family in the neighborhood overslept and the six year old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work, agreed to drive her if she’d direct him to the school. They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes — yet when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home.
Asked why she’d led the father over such a circuitous route, the child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, and it’s the only way I know.”
“And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?” asked the father of his little son.
You Know You Need A New Lawyer When
1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
2. When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other.
3. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
4. He places a large “No Refunds” sign on the defense table.
5. Just before trial starts he whispers, “The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?”
6. The sign in front of his law office reads “Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM.”
7. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, “Whatever.”
It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880’s. He’s buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement.
George F. Will
Stay well, do good work, and have fun.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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