Ray's musings and humor

Farewell Dear Friend

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.”

A headstone in Ireland

sailaway

Sorry for the week absence, my wife and I flew to Charlotte for a few days to spend time with my sister-in-law who has had some serious health problems over the past few years. We arrived midday and Miriam, my sister-in-law who had pretty much lost her sight seemed to really enjoy the time spent with us and two other sisters as we reminisced about the old days, she even laughed a few times. Later we went to dinner with her husband and her children and enjoyed being together even if just for a little while. We went home and after she went to bed she had a seizure and lost conciseness. She was rushed to the hospital and never woke; she ended up passing away very early the next morning surrounded by family and friends.

This was really difficult for me as she was more than a sister-in-law to me for we had known each other for sixty years, she was the sister I never had and also one of my best friends. We laughed together often and even cried together on occasion. We were cruise mates many times over the years sailing both in the Americas and Europe.

I spent most of the time since her death with my brother-in-law doing what I could to ease his pain. While she had suffered way too much recently and now is at peace her loss is devastating for him. I shared with the attendees at her funeral that she would always live forever in my mind as while she is no longer with us I have 60 years of great memories to fall back on. I am truly grateful for all those years we had togehter.

A fellow cruiser and my good friend sent me a note for her that I repeated at the funeral. He wrote “Bon voyage Dear Miriam as you embark on your final cruise to heaven. Please wait for us for by the grace of god we will be joining you sometime in the future.”

Now I am back home adjusting to a world that no longer includes my dear friend. She would not be happy if today’s daily was filled with sadness so I will try to add a little humor in her memory.

~~~

May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.  May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields.  And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

Irish Blessing

~~~

Do you know how many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

a.. Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

b.. Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

c.. Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

d.. Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

e.. Baptists: At least fifteen. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

f.. Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

g.. Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

h.. Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including candescent, fluorescent, three- way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

i.. Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

j.. Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

k.. Lutherans: None. Lutherans don’t believe in change.

l.. Amish: What’s a light bulb?

~~~

“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day just exactly fits in the newspaper.”

Jerry Seinfield

~~~

When Mary was pregnant, her 5 year old son, Billy, was utterly amazed, and a little bit disbelieving, that his sister was growing in his mom’s tummy. So one day when the baby was especially active, she asked Billy to place his tiny hands on her tummy to feel the baby kick. But when he did, the baby was suddenly still.

“Oh, Billy, she must have decided to take a nap,” shrugged Mary.

“A nap?” Billy marveled. “You mean there’s a bed in there too?”

~~~

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”

Walter Bagehot

~~~

TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile”?

JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L

TEACHER: No, that’s wrong

JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

~~~

Ask me about my vow of silence.

~~~

Three couples–one elderly, one middle-aged and one newlywed–wanted to join a church. The priest said, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks.” The couples all agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, “Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The old man replied, “No problem at all, Father.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church!” said the priest.

The priest went to the middle-aged couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?”

The middle-aged man replied, “The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights, but, yep, we made it.”

“Congratulations! Welcome to the church,” said the priest.

The priest then went to the newlywed couple and asked, “Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?”

“No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,” the young man replied sadly.

“What happened?” inquired the priest.

“My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it,” said the young man. “When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church,” stated the priest.

“We know,” said the young man. “We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either.”

~~~

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are about 2000 readers from around the world.

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