Ray's musings and humor

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes."

William James

 

 

 

As you know I often talk about our freedom to choose the life we want to have. I suggest that happiness can often be found if we are willing to climb out of the box that we and others have built for us. What I realized in conversation with a friend the other day that there are some that feel that all they have to do is decide to pick up and move on and all will be great.

Fortunately it is not that easy. I say fortunately for it is the process of getting to where we can find what we are looking for that is often the most rewarding part of life. Sure we can make choices. We can choose to have more friends, chose to get a better job, choose to help others and so on, but in reality many if not most things in life require us to be chosen.

Friendships, like respect cannot be demanded, it has to be earned. When we demonstrate that we sincerely care from someone, when we non-judgmentally share their pain almost as if it was our own, we will have demonstrated true friendship and be rewarded in kind. Sometimes I wonder why far too many of us demand others prove that they are our friends before we are willing to offer our friendship. In my experience the “What’s in it for me” folks have far fewer friends and happy moments than those who go through life trying to make life better for others.

What I find to be even worse is how some people seem to think they are already the chosen ones and don’t have to earn their way to happiness. These are the folks who complain the loudest about the unfairness of so many Asian kids getting the doctorial slots in universities never stopping long enough to learn that they got the positions because they earned them by studying long and hard all their life. The people who I respect the most are not the folks that sit around bemoaning the unfairness of the world while looking to place blame for where they find themselves on someone else. These unhappy people never have time to pick themselves up to do what is necessary to find something better.

History is filled with stories of heroism and achievement; stories of people who did not wait for fame but rather achieved it by always doing their best while overcoming any obstacle they faced. In the process they earned the glory that comes from a life well lived. And if the truth be known millions more have been the unsung heroes who have lived the good life and who at the end can look back on a job well done; well done because they earned what they received.

~~~

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.

Henry Ford

~~~

It has been an interesting year in the Stock Market, I thought you could use this dictionary:

Momentum Investing – The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.

Broker – Poorer than you were in 2000.

P/E ratio – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing.

Standard & Poor – Your life in a nutshell.

Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market – An 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

Stock split – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Market Correction – The day after you buy stocks.

Cash Flow – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Cisco – Sidekick of Poncho.

Institutional Investor – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.

Profit – Religious guy who talks to God.

Bill Gates – Where God goes for a loan.

~~~

Woman shopping for wallpaper to clerk: "Now we’re getting somewhere.  That’s the exact opposite of what I’m looking for."

~~~

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan."

After dinner, William’s dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years.. She’s a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her."

William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Dianne said yes! We’re getting married in June."

Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Dianne is your half-sister too, William. I’m awfully sorry about this."

William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news.

"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I’m never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."

His mother just shook her head. "Don’t pay any attention to what he says, dear. He’s not really your father."

~~~

The reason 30+ year old women get carded is because the cashiers and bag-boys make bets on how OLD you really are and someone has to find out. They know you would lie if they asked you.

~~~

A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, "You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son."

"Well, thank heaven," said the wife, "at least our James has nothing standing in his way."

~~~

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Mark Twain

~~~

Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren…all boys. The kids always wanted to play ”war,” and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game.

His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed a toy gun and yelled, Bang!”

Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ”Sh-h-h, I always do this. It’s the only chance I get to rest.”

~~~

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

~~~

A man dies and finds himself in a small room furnished with a couch and TV. There’s another guy sitting on the couch, watching the screen. "So, is this heaven or hell?" he asks the guy on the couch.

"Well, there are no windows or doors, and no apparent way out," the man answers. "So it’s hell?"

"I don’t know," says the other guy, without looking up. "They did give us this nice big TV." "So maybe it’s heaven."

"Maybe, but it has only one channel," the man counters.

"Oh, so maybe it’s hell?"

"Well, the station it gets is pretty good…it’s PBS."

"So maybe this is heaven after all?"

"Yeah, except for one thing," the other guy says sadly. "It’s always pledge week."

~~~

Goodwill to others is constructive thought. It helps build us up. It is good for your body. It makes your blood purer, your muscles stronger, and your whole form more symmetrical in shape. It is the real elixir of life. The more such thought you attract to you, the more life you will have.

Prentice Mulford

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://raykiwsp.multiply.com/journal currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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