Ray's musings and humor

Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does.

William James

 

 

 

 

I think I mentioned the other day that I was going to have to say more often. Not so much because I care any less it is just that there are so many challenges these days that we need everyone to do all they can and no one person by themselves can come close to doing what needs to be done. I also must admit that I occasionally think that I should just walk away for awhile and spend my time entertaining myself and taking things easier. This is not the first time I have had those thoughts so I went back to earlier Dailies to find another time when walking away was tempting. I found a Daily from six years ago that had a similar ring, I have reprinted it below.

 

February 2003

I have ended my retirement yet another time. Kiwanis International has provided me the opportunity to assist in the further development of their international service to children. I struggled with accepting the opportunity for a week or so as I have really enjoyed the freedom that retirement has provided these last six months. I have had the time to pursue a number of interests as well as to take extended vacations.

Selfishly I had put these interests ahead of the opportunity to again serve. Luckily I received a phone call the other night from actor/artist James Kiberd. James is a goodwill entertainment industry ambassador for the US Fund for UNICEF and a friend of Kiwanis. We talked for an hour or so about what each of us were doing and what we might be able to do. From that conversation I came to the conclusion that while it would be easier to say no and just go on enjoying my freedom, I would feel much worse for having given up the opportunity to help make a difference in the lives of children. So starting next Monday I will add a vocation to my avocation and do what I can to help. Wish me well.

~~~

If you wish to be a leader you will be frustrated, for very few people wish to be led. If you aim to be a servant you will never be frustrated.

Frank F. Warren

~~~

Sol and Ben are opening a new fish store, and they are sitting down to sketch out the sign. Ben draws "FRESH FISH SOLD HERE TODAY".

The guy in the sign shop tells them he charges $30 a letter, and the two entrepreneurs go home to talk it over.

Sol says, "We don’t need TODAY — of course they’re for sale today." Ben agrees and says, "HERE? Where else would we be selling fish?" and they agree to delete that word, too. Sol thinks a minute and says. "SOLD we don’t need. It’s a store, they come in they’ll see a cash register, they’ll know," and Ben strikes that word out, too.

The sign now says FRESH FISH. Ben shakes his head. "Of course FRESH. Would we be selling stale fish?" and they cross that word out. The sign now says FISH, and Sol crumples up the paper. "We’ll leave the door open, they’ll smell and they’ll know we have fish," he says as Ben nods. "Already, before we open, we’ve saved over $600."

~~~

While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you’re in?"

~~~

When an agnostic dies, does he go to the "great perhaps"?

~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

Little Johnny says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

~~~

A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

~~~

POSITION: Mom, Mama, Mother, Mommy

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: For the rest of your life;

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION: You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

~~~

"Of course there is no formula for success except, perhaps, an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings."

Arthur Rubinstein

~~~

When it comes to tunes, my local music shop prefers the sound of silence. A sign prominently displayed on a grand piano reads, "The management is not responsible for the actions of its employees if your child plays ‘Heart and Soul’ or ‘Chopsticks’ on this instrument."

~~~

Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others…he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.

Robert F. Kennedy

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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