Ray's musings and humor

No…No…No…

“Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.”

 John C. Maxwell quotes

 

 

 

I am beginning to think I am again saying yes too often. My day yesterday ran from 6:30 AM until 9:00 PM. Between meetings and a seminar I was only able to squeeze in a few necessary tasks. And here it is another day and it is more of the same, off at 6:30 for an early meeting with an important friend, on to a class on the ethnic history of my city followed by a full afternoon of backlog removal efforts and then on to the Indiana Council on World Affairs dinner.

Right now I have about 13 opportunities for service in the queue, each of which would only take about 10% of my time. So 130% of my time for the requests and a 110% of my time needed for existing commitments adds up to 240% of my time, I think I may have a problem. So I plan on turning down some marginal things so that I might be able to do some good for the important things. Also I have an evil friend or two that won’t allow me to skip doing something for enjoyment once in awhile and that takes some time as well. I have a hard time convincing them that I enjoy almost everything I do, what I don’t like is when I don’t have time to do things as well as I should.

OK enough of that, I’ll be fine and tomorrow is an easier day so I might even do justice to the daily, but for today it is more from the dusty Daily storeroom.

~~~

Ray’s Daily published February 18, 2003

Forty years ago today Willie Mays signed a one-year $100,000 contract with the San Francisco Giants. He may have been the highest paid player in baseball at the time, he certainly was one of the eras greatest players. Times were different then; we could even afford to go to professional baseball games. The other day our local paper had an article about two sisters in their 70’s that attend our professional basketball games each year, their season tickets cost them $10,000.

As most of you know I have been involved with UNICEF and Kiwanis helping to raise funds to virtually eliminate the world’s leading cause of mental retardation, iodine deficiency. Currently there are about $18 million needed to fund a number of projects that would protect millions of kids from this devastating problem. I wonder about our priorities when we pay an athlete more than it would take to totally meet the global need. Also just think of what we might do with the money we spend in only one day in war preparation.

~~~

So long as little children are allowed to suffer, there is no true love in this world.

Isadora Duncan

~~~

John went to the doctor because he had bulging eyes and a persistent ringing in his ears.

The doctor looked him over and suggested removing his tonsils.

The tonsillectomy resulted in no improvement, so John consulted a dentist who suggested that removing his teeth might eliminate the problem.

All of John’s teeth were extracted but still his eyes bulged out and the annoying ringing in his ears continued.

A third doctor told him bluntly, "You have six months to live."

Feeling doomed and gloomy, John decided to treat himself right while he still had time, so he bought a flashy car, hired a chauffeur and a gardener, and got himself measured by a tailor for some new suits. To go along with the new suits, he decided that even his shirts would be made to order.

"Okay," said the shirt maker, "let’s get your measurements. Hmm, thirty-four sleeve, sixteen collar."

"No, I wear a fifteen collar" John told him.

"Sixteen collar," the shirt maker repeated, measuring again.

"But I’ve always worn a fifteen collar," said John.

"Listen," said the shirt maker, "I’m telling you right now—if you keep on wearing a tight fifteen collar, your eyes will bulge out and you’ll have ringing in your ears."

~~~

"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"

Lily Tomlin

~~~

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

"How did that happen?," gasped her mother.

"It wasn’t easy," admitted the young lady, "but 3 girls helped me catch him."

~~~

Q. What’s a Jewish girl’s idea of natural childbirth?

A. Absolutely no make up.

~~~

The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes.

He replied, "It’s easy!" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top.

He told his boss, "I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato chips and dip to draw in the customers." He laid out his chips and dip.

"That’s a very innovative approach," his boss said, as he took one of the chips, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Yuck, this tastes terrible!"

The salesman replied "IT IS? Want to buy a toothbrush?"

~~~

Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

~~~

One day, an young girl is walking through a park when she hears a faint "Help me, help me".

She looks around and follows the quiet voice to a bush near the path. Looking under the bush she spies a little green frog trapped under a log. The girl moves the log and picks up the frog.

"Oh, thank you, thank you" says the frog, "Take me home and put me on your pillow and in the morning I’ll be a handsome Prince."

So the girl takes the frog home and puts him on the pillow and there in the morning is a handsome prince.

You don’t believe that?

Neither did her mother!

~~~

The strongest and sweetest song remains to be sung.

Walt Whitman

~~~

A census taker in rural West Texas went up to a farmhouse and knocked. A woman came to the door, and he proceeded to ask her how many children she had, and their ages.

She said, "Well, lez’ juz’ see now, there’s the twins Sally and Billy, they’re thirty-two, the twins Seth and Beth, they’re twenty-six, and the twins Penny and Jenny, they’re twenty-four … "

"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins EVERY time?"

The woman answered, " Why heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn’t get nothin!"

~~~

"If we did all the things we were capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."

Thomas A. Edison

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 

Ray Mitchell

 Indianapolis, Indiana

 Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

 

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://starkreality.ning.com/profile/Ray currently there are about 1500 readers from all over the world.

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