Ray's musings and humor

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

Anne Frank

 

 

I had great news at the hospital this morning, no more self administered shots as part of my post op recovery. I am on my way back, not just to how I was a few weeks ago but to how I felt a few years ago. I don’t even have to get another blood test until Monday. While none of the recent past has been fun, things could have been much worse, I know that I am more fortunate than most people and I have every reason to be grateful. Each month of my life has been better than the last in some way and I often have to stop and remember it is not that way for everyone.

Even though we are members of the fortunate few too many of us focus on our problems and leave no time for the joy that exists just below the surface. As you know I never know what I will put in the daily until I sit down to do it. Sometimes I look back at something I have saved from days gone by and that’s what I did today. It was the following that got me again feeling so good about all I have, I wish I knew where I got it– it had to have been written by someone special.

 

Do you remember the times when life has seemed almost magical? Do you remember those days when you felt as if you were floating on air? Stop for a moment and fill yourself with those feelings of how very good, how very special life can be. Though the events may be distant in space and time, the positive feelings they bring can always be with you. Remember often how good life can be. For the more you remember, the more life you give to your best possibilities.

If you focus your attention on the worries, anxieties, conflicts and shortcomings, those are the things that will grow. Focus instead on how good life can be, and with every moment you’ll be making it better. Look up, rather than down, and you’ll see an infinitely bigger, more positive horizon. Celebrate life’s real and substantial goodness, and that goodness will come to dominate your reality. Take a moment, early and often, to remember how very good life can be. And make the goodness grow ever stronger.

~~~

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children…to leave the world a better place…to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

I really enjoy:

The sound of leaves,

The time I get to spend alone,

New Years eve at sea,

And especially the innocence of children.

~~~

Don’t tell me that worry doesn’t do any good. I know better.  The things I worry about don’t happen.

~~~

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look.

He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.

His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear; right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!…."

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don’t exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of his predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out.

The river ran again.

And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw… brought both paws together… bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."

~~~

If you find yourself in an argument with a woman, plead insanity–they never argue with that.

~~~

No matter what we learned from the movies, when they make me the Evil Overlord I will:

Be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

Make sure that one of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

That all slain enemies are cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

That the hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

Never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

Never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there’s just one thing I want to know."

~~~

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

~~~

"Hello, Bill," exclaimed Jim, meeting a buddy for the first time in a while. "Did you marry that girl you used to go with or are you still doing your own cooking and ironing?"

"Yes," replied Bill.

~~~

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?" The clerk smiled and said… "Rain…"

~~~

“You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big question: Is that okay? Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”

Jim Rohn

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

 Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana, USA

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies.

The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can join at http://groups.google.com/group/Rays-Daily. Back issues are posted at http://360.yahoo.com/raykiwsp currently there are about 1000 readers from all over the world.

 

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