Ray's musings and humor

The Good Life

Ray’s Daily

January 22, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“I think being in love with life is a key to eternal youth.”

Doug Hutchison

It has sure been a difficult year for most of us, my fear is that many folks have given up on life. There is hope for the future and failing to live as positively as we can now only will make things worse. Even during these difficult times we have the power to make our lives worthwhile.

Years ago Mark Twain offered tips on how to live the good life. They are especially valid today. I have listed them below with some comments made by Henrik Edberg.

Mark Twain’s Top 9 Tips for Living A Good Life

1. Approve of yourself. – “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

If you don’t approve of yourself, of your behaviour and actions then you’ll probably walk around most of the day with a sort of uncomfortable feeling. If you, on the other hand, approve of yourself then you tend to become relaxed and gain inner freedom to

2. Your limitations may just be in your mind. – “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

So many limitations are mostly in our minds. We may for instance think that people will disapprove because we are too tall, too old or balding. But these things mostly matter when you think they matter. Because you become self-conscious and worried about what people may think.

3. Lighten up and have some fun. – “Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”

Humor and laughter are amazing tools. They can turn any serious situation into something to laugh about. They can lighten the mood just about anywhere.

4. Let go of anger. – “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Anger is most of the time pretty pointless. It can cause situations to get out of hand. And from a selfish perspective it often more hurtful for the one being angry then the person s/he’s angry at.

5. Release yourself from entitlement. – “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing.It was here first.”

6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions. – “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

What other people may say and think and letting that hold you back is probably just fantasy and barrier you build in your mind.

7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want. – “Drag your thoughts away from your troubles.” What you focus your mind on greatly determines how things play out. You can focus on your problems and dwell in suffering and a victim mentality. Or you can focus on the positive in situation, what you can learn from that situation or just focus your mind on something entirely else.

8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good. – “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

This is a great way to look at things to create an upward spiral of positivity and exchange of value between people.

9. Do what you want to do. – “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

~~~

“You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.”

Walter Hagen

~~~

Harold was an old man, he was sick, and he was in the hospital.  There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy.  Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child.  She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for a bath, or are we hungry?”

Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse.  One day, Old Harold had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand.  He had been given a Urine Bottle to fill for testing. The juice was apple juice.  So…..  you know where the juice went. The nurse came in a little later and picked up the urine bottle.  She looks at it.  “My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today…..”

At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand, pops off the top, and drinks it down, saying, “Well, I’ll run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better this time.”

The nurse fainted……  Old Harold just smiled

~~~

Only a mediocre person is ever at their best.

~~~

A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, “Who’s this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?”

“That’s your father.”

“Then who’s that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?”

~~~

WHAT HE SAYS / WHAT HE MEANS **

** “I’m going fishing.” – Really means: “I’m going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand all day, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

** “It’s a guy thing.” – Really means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

** “Can I help with dinner?” – Really means: “Why isn’t it already on the table?”

** “Uh-huh.” “Sure, honey.” “Yes, dear.” – Really means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

** “It would take too long to explain.” – Really means: “I have no idea how it works.”

** “We’re going to be late.” – Really means: “Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”

** “Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.” – Really means: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

** “That’s interesting, dear.” – Really means: “Are you still talking?”

** “Hey, I’ve got my reasons for what I’m doing.” – Really means: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

** “I can’t find it.” – Really means: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

** “You know I could never love anyone else.” – Really means: “I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse.”

** “You look terrific.” – Really means: “Please don’t try on one more outfit. I’m starving.”

** “I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are.” – Really means: “No one will ever see us alive again.”

~~~

All food is Fat-Free – if you don’t eat it.

~~~

A feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a Hassidic elderly Jewish man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, “Here’s another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat,” so she pushes him back onto the seat.

A few minutes later, the elderly man tries to get up again. She is still insulted so she refuses to let him up again.

Finally, the old Jewish man says, “Look, lady, trouble I don’t want, but you’ve got to let me get up….. I’m twelve blocks past my stop already!”

~~~

Never leave your wife’s anniversary present in a Wal-Mart bag.

~~~

SCHIZOPHRENIA – Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY – We Three Kings Disoriented Are.

DEMENTIA – I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas.

NARCISSISTIC – Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

PARANOIA – Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER – You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I’ll tell you why.

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY – Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

~~~

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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