January 27, 2021
“We are all so desperate to be understood, we forget to be understanding.”
I think one of the problems many of have is that we think everyone sees things the same as we do. We all are different and often what we perceive is filtered by our background and experiences. I have found over the years that friendships are strengthend when there is mutual understanding.
It is important that we keep an open mind and spend the time listening to people as they share their beliefs, It is only when we can see their world through their eyes that we can beging to build bridges of understanding. We need to know that it is OK for us to share our beliefs without the need to impose them on others.
The best part of lasting friendships is the consensus that results from our openness with each other. So my friends I hope you invest some of you time listening to others as they share their views. Here are some tips I got from the SkillsYouNeed web page.
Understanding Others – The Skills You Need
People who are good at understanding others:
- Pick up emotional cues, often from body language, tone of voice, and other non-verbal elements of communication.
- Listen well to what people are saying, actively checking their understanding.
- When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
- Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
- Show sensitivity towards others, and understand their perspectives. They are careful not to give offence by saying or doing the wrong thing, and are aware that not everyone has the same point of view.
- Help other people appropriately, based on their understanding of their needs and emotions.
“Knowing is not understanding. There is a great difference between knowing and understanding: you can know a lot about something and not really understand it.”
A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, when he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove.
At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: “Come down, Holy Spirit!” Still no sign of the dove.
The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters:
“Sir, a yellow cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the yellow cat?”
“I’m ashamed of the way we live,” a young wife said to her lazy husband who refused to find a job. “My father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I’m just so ashamed.”
The husband rolled over on the couch. “You should be so,” he agreed. “Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a cent.”
What we see depends on mainly what we look for.
A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided that he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. It turns out that his next-door neighbor was also a chicken farmer.
The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, “Chicken farming isn’t easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I’ll give you 100 chickens.”
The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later, the new neighbor stopped by to see how things were going.
The new farmer said, “Not too good. All 100 chickens died.”
The neighbor said, “Oh, I can’t believe that. I’ve never had any trouble with my chickens. I’ll give you 100 more.”
Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stopped in again.
The new farmer said, “You’re not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too.”
Astounded, the neighbor asked, “What did you do to them? What went wrong?”
“Well,” said the new farmer, “I’m not sure. But I think I’m not planting them far enough apart.”
All general statements are false, except this one.
Scott and Glenn were walking down the street, when Glenn turned to Scott and said, “Scott, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars with all the gear, electric windows, CD player and all that, would you give me one?”
Scott replied, “Glenn, how long do we go back? Thirty years? We’ve been best friends since school, and if I had two of those Mercedes, top-of-the-line cars with all the trimmings, yeah, I would give one to you.”
They continued walking. After a couple of minutes, Scott turns to Glenn and asked, “Glenn, if you had two of those luxury, playboy-type yachts—you know, with all the modern conveniences—would you give one to me?”
Glenn replied, “Scott, you and me are like brothers. You were best man at my wedding. If I had two of those luxury playboy yachts with all the modern conveniences, then yeah, Scott, I really would give one to you.”
They kept walking. A couple of minutes later, Glenn turns to Scott and says, “Scott, if you had two chickens…”
“Now hold on there! Glenn, you know I’ve got two chickens!”
“If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”
George Bernard Shaw
New Testament: Many are called, but few are chosen.
Marie Dolan: Many are called, but most are e-mailed.
Ron Morse: Many are called, but few actually switch long-distance carriers.
Ed Wintermantel: Many are called, but they face another wait in the examining room.
I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
The trooper said that this excuse is the most effective because it’s believable and any officer can relate: When you get pulled over and the officer comes up to the driver’s window, look at them with desperation in your face and say, “I’m sorry. I know I was speeding but I have to go to the bathroom sooooo badly that I’m about to explode!” You could also add, “Do you know of a restroom really close by that I can get to in the next 60 seconds?”
“Sometimes being understanding is more important than being right. Sometimes we need not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens. Not a keep eye that always sees faults but open arms that accept. Not a finger that points out mistakes but gentle hands that lead.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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Comments on: "I want to hear what you think" (1)
So very important