Ray's musings and humor

Still Waiting

Ray’s Daily

May 28, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

E. E. Cummings

lake

Today is one of my daughter’s birthday. It is a day we use to be able to get together to celebrate but we are still being isolated to protect us from Covid19. We have been this way for months now.

As we stay isolated, I keep hearing about the many of my favorite restaurants closing for good, And even now with some reopening we are told those of us over 65 years old should still avoid them. Even the hair salons and I guess barber shops are limiting their services to those under sixty-five. Our months of quarantine have left my hair in need of massive cutting.

So while the world is opening up for others, it is not for us. It is not easy to stay upbeat but there is so much more to be grateful for than there is to mourn, but it takes some effort to realize that we are better off than millions of others. So we will continue to wait for the better days ahead as we remember the good times we have had together.

Salt, Glass of Water and the Lake

Author Unknown

Once an unhappy young man came to an old master and told he had a very sad life and asked for a solution.

The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. “How does it taste?” – the Master asked.

“Terrible.” – spat the apprentice.

The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake.

The old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”

As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the Master asked, “How does it taste?”

“Good!” – remaked the apprentice.

“Do you taste the salt?” – asked the Master.

“No.” – said the young man.

The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the ‘pain’ depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake.”

~~~

“If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a LOT of time dealing with a life you DON’T want.”

Kevin Ngo

~~~

Flying can be interesting; here are some flight announcements from the past.

  • In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.
  • Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”
  • “Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

~~~

“You know that old saying, ‘Strike while the iron is hot?’ Well, I think that’s a pretty dumb saying, ’cause I’ll betcha a cold iron will hurt like hell, too.”

Charlie Acord

~~~

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE “ESTROGEN ISSUES”

  1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
  2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
  3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
  4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
  5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: “How’s my driving-call 1-800-***-.”
  6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting-practice.
  7. You’re convinced there’s a God and he’s male.
  8. You can’t believe they don’t make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
  9. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
  10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

~~~

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”

Jack Lemmon

~~~

A lady leaves Montreal on route 20 heading toward Quebec city, when she decided to stop at a comfort station. The first toilet stall was occupied, so she went into the second one. She was no sooner seated than she heard a voice from the next stall:

“Hi, how are you doing?”

Well, she wasn’t the type to chat with strangers in highway comfort stations, and she really don’t know quite what possessed her, but anyway, she answered, a little embarrassed: “Not bad.”

The stranger said: “And, what are you up to?”

Talk about your dumb questions! She was really beginning to think this was too weird! So she said: “Well, just like you I am driving east?”

About then she heard the stranger, all upset, say: “Look, I’ll call ya right back, there’s some idiot in the next stall answering all the questions I’m asking you. Bye!”

~~~

“The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.”

Marty Feldman

~~~

Coming out of church, Mrs. Peterson asked her husband, “Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?”

“I didn’t even see her,” admitted Mr. Peterson.

“And that dress Mrs. Hansen was wearing,” continued Mrs. Peterson, “Really, don’t tell me you think that’s the proper costume for a mother of two.”

“I’m afraid I didn’t notice that either,” said Mr. Peterson.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” snapped Mrs. Peterson.  “A lot of good it does you to go to church.”

~~~

“Why is it that all of the instruments seeking intelligent life in the universe are pointed away from Earth?”

~~~

Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto arrived in Florida.

In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver…”Say, is this really a healthful place?”

“It sure is,” the cabby replied. “When I came here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That’s wonderful!” said the tourist , “How long have you been here?”

“I was born here.”

~~~

Contrary to popular belief, used-car salesmen are fairly honest with their customers.  It’s usually a condition of their parole.

~~~

“Too many people are thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, when they ought to just water the grass they are standing on.”

Amar Dave

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

Comments on: "Still Waiting" (1)

  1. I love your opening quote, and yes, the openings are not the same for all, making it even harder

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