Ray's musings and humor

Here we go again

Ray’s Daily

November 1, 2019

http://rays-daIly.com

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.”

Dalai Lama XIV

Stay

Wow, November already. It seems like time is flying by faster than ever. I hope the days ahead are good for you and for us. My wife’s health issues have been difficult for us both. The good news is that when I can get her out with others she perks up. I do the best I can to stay upbeat and positive for both our sakes.

Fortunately, I have learned that if I slip into pessimism I am the one who suffers the most. I am glad I like people and that so many of my family, friends and neighbors are such warm and friendly folks. I think to some extent they are because we stay as positive as we do.

Here is something I copied years ago that I wish everyone adhered to, just imagine what our world would be like if they did.

The Optimist Creed

Promise yourself . . .

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Written by Christian D. Larson in 1912

~~~

“Those who wish to sing, always find a song.”

Swedish Proverb

~~~

Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better computer programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they agree to hold a contest with God as the judge.

They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up the screen.

Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, “I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out.”

“Very well, then,” says God, “let us see if Jesus fared any better.”

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.

He stutters, “But how?! I lost everything yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”

God chuckles, “Jesus saves.”

~~~

“Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence”

Joseph Wood Krutch

~~~

Esther was entranced with an expensive mink coat she had seen in an exclusive shop, and for days she cudgeled her brain to think of a way to bring up the subject to her husband. Suddenly she had an inspired thought.

“Sol, last night I had a lovely dream.”

“What kind of a dream, Esther?”

“I dreamed that we passed by Saks Fifth Avenue, and there in the window was this gorgeous mink coat — only $6,200. And you know what you did? You went right in and bought it for me, Sollie dear!”

“Say, that really was a wonderful dream! Hereafter, in all your dreams, you should wear it in good health, Esther dear!”

~~~

“A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t.”

~ Rhonda Hansome

~~~

PSA was following United Airlines, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower and said, “Tower, this is United 586. We’ve got a little problem, so go ahead and let PSA go first.” The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff before United had a chance to object to the impersonation.

~~~

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat.”

Little Johnny replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”

The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”

Little Johnny answered, “No, he minded his own bloody business!”

~~~

Dear Abby,

Our son was married in January. Five months later his wife had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early? Wondering

Dear Wondering,

The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.

~~~

“Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don’t hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people.”

Zig Ziglar

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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