June 19, 2018
“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”
With my caregiving responsibilities and other limitations I have become more dependent on my daily encounters to keep me going. Trouble is that things keep changing, one of my favorite checkers at the grocery store has moved. A gal that greeted me at my local drugstore for 25 years has retired and now my friend the pharmacist is leaving at the end of the month. There are more changes in the works that will leave even more holes. I have now learned that it is not just our surroundings but also the people in them that provides a pleasant environment.
My occasional answer to the blues is a trip to the movies to sit for a few hours with a bucket of popcorn while watching a feel-good movie. One of the things of course is that at the show things are not as they would be in reality. I just read an article by Sarah Crow where she explodes some of the fantasy, Here are a few of her disclsues.
Hilariously Impractical Things That Always Happen in Movies
By SARAH CROW
Female Action Heroes Always Wearing Makeup – It seems pretty clear that being an action hero would probably help a person work up a sweat. However, in movies, female action stars are always meticulously coiffed and made-up, with never so much as a drop of sweat or blood on them, even after taking on a veritable army of bad guys.
Knocking Someone Out with a Single Punch – If you want to knock someone out, it’s probably going to take more than just a quick chop to the neck or punch to the back of the head to do it, but you’d never know that from how often this K.O.s villains in films. If movies were a little more realistic, we’d see our villains repeating themselves or feeling sleepy as a result of their concussions instead. And for more movie flubs,
Breaking Through a Window Unscathed – Epic fight scenes are always a lot more exciting when someone crashes through a plate glass window. However, the idea that anyone can soar through a massive pane of glass without incurring some pretty gnarly—and extremely bloody—injuries is wildly unrealistic.
Getting a Parking Spot Every Time – If you’ve ever lived in a big city, you know that getting a parking spot outside your office or building on the first pass is virtually impossible. Of course, circling the block a hundred times does not movie magic make, so when we see a character in a movie pull up somewhere, there’s not only a spot available, they don’t have to awkwardly parallel park to get into it as the drivers behind them honk, either.
Instantaneous DNA Tests – Movie conundrum: you have a DNA sample that needs to be tested. The solution: bring it to your nearest lab and they’ll get results to you in mere seconds—you know, instead of the very long time it might take to accomplish the same thing in an IRL lab.
Villains Fighting One at a Time – Luckily for most movie heroes, the villains they encounter never want to attack all at once. Instead, they simply stand around in a circle, taking on their victim one-by-one, allowing him or her to easily defeat them.
People Running Upstairs to Get Away from Intruders – In real life, if you suspect that someone has broken into your house, you either leave or call the cops. If you’re in a movie, the only thing to do is run upstairs, apparently, ensuring your inevitable demise in the process.
Making Out in the Rain – According to virtually every rom-com out there, there’s virtually nothing more romantic than making out in the rain. The reality? It’s cold. It’s wet. Your clothes are becoming increasingly see-through and stretched out. And your hair? That cute style you spent hours on before your date? Yeah, it’s wet garbage now.
“To have moments of calm – creative or restful – is a form of deep sustenance for human beings of all ages. Relationships are often built in these pauses, in the incidental moments, when nothing much is going on.”
Kim John Payne
A couple had quarreled about money and gone to bed angry. The next morning, they rose, showered, dressed and ate breakfast in silence.
Finally, hoping to break the ice, he said, “You know, honey, I’m not myself today.”
“Really?” she said. “I hadn’t noticed the improvement.”
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
A little old Jewish lady is flying out of New York City on her way to Miami Beach. She looks at the businessman sitting next to her and asks him, “Excuse me sir, but are you Jewish?”
The man responds politely, “No, ma’am, I’m not Jewish.”
After a little while she again queries him, “You’re really Jewish, aren’t you?”
Again he responds, “No ma’am, I am not Jewish.”
Barely 10 minutes later, the little old lady asks him once more, “Are you sure you’re not Jewish?”
To which in exasperation, and in a final effort to shut her up, he replies, “Okay. Yes, ma’am, I am Jewish.”
“Funny,” she says, looking puzzled, “you don’t look Jewish!”
Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
“There were these two Jews……” a comedian said as he started his routine one night.
Immediately, a chap stood up and shouted, ” Just a minute! I’m Jewish – why are you comedians always knocking Jewish people like this? Every other joke you hear these days starts off, “There were these two Jews……..” ”
“Sorry,” said the comedian. ” No need to take offence. I’ll start again. There were these two Chinese, Lee Chan and Fu Ching, on their way over to the synagogue for a bar mitzvah……….”
Why isn’t it okay to fall asleep in Church? After all didn’t God rest on the seventh day as well?
On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time. He waved, jumped up and down, and stared at the stork a while longer.
Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, “Gee, Dad, he doesn’t recognize me.”
“Doing something positive will help turn your mood around. When you smile, your body relaxes. When you experience human touch and interaction, it eases tension in your body.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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