Ray's musings and humor

Summer’s Here

Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.

Sam Keen

happy summer

Today is the first full day of summer where I live. We will have our longest day of sun for this year. That’s the good news, the bad news is our hottest days are yet to come even though we have already had some scorchers. Thankfully we now have air conditioning almost everywhere so I will able to avoid testing my cardiac functions. When I was growing up air conditioning was almost nonexistent and ultrahigh temperatures were often accompanied by a rash of elderly deaths. Fortunately those days are behind us.

Since I either never know the details of the summer solstice or more likely I forgot what I did know I looked up the details. Here is what I learned:

The Summer Solstice

Because of the position of the Earth and the sun, today is set to be the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. Parts of the United States will see between 14 and 18 hours of daylight Monday, with the official solstice happening at 6:34 p.m. EDT. Between June 20 and 22, the Earth’s axis is tilted as far as it can go toward the Sun.

In most places, the first day of summer isn’t the hottest day of the year. It varies by location — usually the Southwest has its warmest temperatures between now and mid-July, while the Northeast sees its hottest times between mid-July and early August, according to the National Centers for Environmental Information.

This year, the summer solstice matches up with a strawberry moon. It’s just a full moon that occurs in June — it’s so named because Native Americans saw its arrival as the start of strawberry season.

Monday was the first summer solstice since 1967 that coincides with the strawberry moon.

About 25,000 people were expected to travel to the ancient monument of Stonehenge to see the sun rise and set. Stonehenge is constructed in a way that, near the solstice, allows onlookers to see the sun move precisely above the Heel Stone.

 

While that is interesting the bottom line is that it is the season that if you are looking for me I will be the guy sitting in the shade.

~~~

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.

Russell Baker

~~~

Gretchen grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. She held up the thermos, and the barista quickly came over to take his order.

“Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?” Gretchen asked.

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, “Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”

“Oh, good!” Gretchen sighed in relief, “Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf.”

~~~

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

~~~

A man had finally got around to taking all his run down and broken umbrellas to the repair shop. Next morning on his way to his office, when he got up to leave the street car, he absentmindedly took hold of the umbrella belonging to the woman beside him, for he was in the habit of always carrying one.

The woman cried “Stop! Thief!”, grabbed her umbrella back and embarrassed the poor man no end!

That same day, he stopped at the repair shop, and received all eight of his umbrellas duly repaired and restored.. As he entered the street car, with the unwrapped umbrellas tucked under his arm, he was horrified to behold, glaring at him, the lady of his morning’s misadventure. Her voice came to him charged with a withering scorn:

“Had a good day, didn’t you!”

~~~

Have you noticed that the cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity?

~~~

Jill wanted a divorce from Todd.  The judge asked, “What fault do you find with your husband?”

“Your Honor, he’s a liar, a brute, a thief and a brainless idiot.”

“That’s very serious,” exclaimed his Honor, “Can you prove all that?”

“Prove it? Why everybody knows it.”

“If you knew all this, then why did you marry him?”

“I didn’t know it before I married him.”

Todd shouted out, “She did too!”

~~~

A skeptic is a person who when he sees the handwriting on the wall claims it’s a forgery.

~~~

An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she better try to do so before she passed away. But until now, she’d never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued.

“You must take the loyalty oath first,” responded the passport clerk. “Raise your right hand, please.”

The old gal did as she was asked, and raised her right hand.

“Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” was the first question.

The little old lady’s face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice,

“Uhhh… all by myself?”

~~~

It’s not an optical illusion.    It just looks like one.

~~~

Max Levy goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gives him a clean bill of health.

“Max, you’re in excellent shape for an 85 year old man. But I’m not a magician – I can’t make you any younger”, says the doctor.

“Who asked you to make me younger?” says Max. “Just make sure I get older!”

~~~

The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

Benjamin Franklin

~~~

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are, very slowly”?

The guy leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrrgerrrrrrr Kiiiiing.”

~~~

Summer is the annual permission slip to be lazy. To do nothing and have it count for something. To lie in the grass and count the stars. To sit on a branch and study the clouds.

Regina Brett

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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