Ray's musings and humor

Here today, gone tomorrow.

Only through art can we get outside of ourselves and know another’s view of the universe which is not the same as ours and see landscapes which would otherwise have remained unknown to us like the landscapes of the moon. Thanks to art, instead of seeing a single world, our own, we see it multiply until we have before us as many worlds as there are original artists.

Marcel Proust

arts

This morning I am slowly fasting and with the preparation for tomorrows early morning colonoscopy I will be spending much of my day visiting the bathroom. Rather than share my thoughts while going through the process I am sending you another Daily from the past. I will be sedated tomorrow instead of being at the computer, so no Thursday Daily this week.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 23, 2004

Proust wrote the above more than a half century ago. I can understand what he meant; I was fortunate to live in Chicago for many years and had access to the Chicago Art Institute’s great collection of impressionist painters. I also have had a chance to spend time amongst the great art works in the Vatican Museum in Rome. I, like Proust, saw the world a little different after each experience. I know many have no interest in art, music, literature, and the humanities, if it is by choice so be it, if it is because of a lack of opportunity to feel it, I am sorry. Many of the good things in life and in our human existence are the result of those who saw the world in all of its forms and used every medium to share their view with us. From ancient Greece to today people like you and I have had their lives enriched because of what others have created for us. I am so sorry for the children of today who have had the arts eliminated from their educational experience because we the public do not place adequate value on those things that can enrich lives. Some say we just cannot afford the cost, I feel we cannot afford the loss of citizens who see more than just the commercial world around them. I think if you take some time to revisit your local museum, go further in the depths of the internet to reach the beautiful things that exist there, or see a live performance of a play or orchestra, you will find that you will be glad you did. Beauty is often hidden, but it can be found if we just open our eyes, ears, and minds.

~~~

Art distills sensations and embodies it with enhanced meaning.

Jacques Barzun

~~~

LUTHERAN AIRLINES, INC.

If you are traveling soon, consider Lutheran Air, the no-frills airline. You’re all in the same boat on Lutheran Air, where flying is an uplifting experience.  There is no first class on any Lutheran Air flight.  Meals are potluck.  Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert.

Basses and tenors please sit in the rear of the aircraft.  Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.  All fares are by freewill offering and the plane will not land until the budget is met.  Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you with the safety system aboard this Lutheran Air 599.

Okay then, listen up: I’m only gonna say this once.  In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so will Captain Olson because we fly right around 2000 feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably indicate the Second Coming or something of that nature, and I wouldn’t bother with those little masks on the rubber tubes.  You’re gonna have bigger things to worry about than that. Just stuff those back up in their little holes.  Probably the masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest with you, we’re going to have quite a bit of at 2000 feet .. sort of like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.

In the event of a water landing, I’d say forget it.  Start saying the Lord’s Prayer and just hope you get to the part about forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us, which some people say “trespass against us,” which isn’t right, but what can you do?

The use of cell phones on the plane is strictly forbidden, not because they may interfere with the plane’s navigational system, which is seat of the pants all the way.  No, it’s because cell phones are a pain in the wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mouth on the side of your head.

We’re going to start lunch right about noon and it’s buffet style with the coffee pot up front.  Then we’ll have the hymn sing; hymnals in the seat pocket in front of you.  Don’t take yours with you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kidding!

Right now I’ll say Grace.  “Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let these gifts to us be blest.  Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Duluth or pretty close.  Amen.”

~~~

“Be what you are. Do what you do. Do it the best you can, and you’re going to have such a good life.”

Helen Gurley Brown

~~~

Members of the Methodist women’s church circle were concerned because a widowed church member and her three small daughters were staying away from services. Finding the reason to be a lack of suitable clothes, the ladies’ group corrected the situation in a generous manner; they held a bake sale and used the money to buy new clothes for all the children and the mother. When the little girls still failed to appear at Sunday School, some of the ladies called to inquire about their absence. The mother thanked them sweetly for the clothing and explained…..

“The girls looked so nice, we decided to go to the Presbyterian Church down the street.”

~~~

If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.

If you want happiness for a day, go fishing.

If you want happiness for a month, get married.

If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune.

If you want happiness for a lifetime, help others.

Chinese Proverb

~~~

Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy, “Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me.” The caddy suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a 4-iron, then a wedge, THEN a putt. The golfer was insulted and proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare he underestimate his game!

Giving in the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for. He then proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards off the front of the tee. Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, “And now for one heck of a putt…”

~~~

After you’ve heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

~~~

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. ‘Look, Miss,’ said the foreman, “Do you have any experience in picking lemons?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, yes!” she replied. “I’ve been divorced three times!”

~~~

Contrary to popular belief, used-car salesmen are fairly honest with their customers.  It’s usually a condition of their parole.

~~~

Our humanity is a poor thing, except for the divinity that stirs within us.

Francis Bacon

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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