Ray's musings and humor

Archive for December, 2014

Things are better

In seed time learn, in harvest teach, in winter enjoy.

William Blake

 ! 1 wisdom-tree-flentie

As I have aged I have found a lot in life to appreciate. In fact making it through another day and appreciating the fact you did is worth noting. While my eyesight is not as good as it once was my vision has never been better as I now see things that I often overlooked in the past. I think I probably have missed thousands of pleasurable moments by failing to notice and acknowledge the smile of a stranger or a flower along the way. I have failed to bank hundreds of positive experiences as I focused on my destination, spending little time enjoying the journey.

I know I enjoy life more now that I pay attention to the little kindnesses of others, the thousands of things I was too busy to notice as I ran life’s races. And you know what; I like myself better now than I did when I had little time to appreciate what I missed. I don’t need the latest wiz-bang to be happy, just being around people like you is more than enough.

Here is an article that CJ Rising posted on the Change Blog that I like, I hope you will too.

Older and Wiser? Four Steps to Finding Wisdom at Any Age

“Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness.”

Sophocles

Now at the end of my forties I expect that I am wiser than I was 20 or so years ago. Isn’t that what’s supposed to happen?  Age brings wisdom? Often, however, I still feel like I am muddling through life on a daily basis, not really sure of what I am doing or where I am going. And of course it’s true that I don’t have all the answers.

At the same time, I also have to recognize that I do know a lot more than I did when I was in my mid-20s or mid-30s or even early-40s. I am beginning to acknowledge my own wisdom, and that feels great! But you don’t have to wait until “middle age” to seek and find wisdom. It’s a life-long process that begins when you’re young. I’m convinced that the key to wisdom is how you approach life and yourself.

Being wise has a lot of benefits. It doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes every day. It doesn’t mean I’ve answered all of life’s questions. It does mean that I know myself better than I ever have. It means that my self-confidence is growing because I’m learning what I’m good at and what I enjoy. It also means I am learning what is good for me, what makes me joyful and content.

So if you crave wisdom, here are a few places to start on your journey:

  1. Recognize and accept constant learning. – The trick to learning is that you have to actually listen to the lesson presented to you. My simple approach is to first acknowledge that I learned something and then consciously add it to my collection of self-knowledge. I always say to myself “Lesson learned,” just to reinforce that I really got it.
  2. Practice compassion.- Learning a lesson means accepting that we made a mistake, however big or small. And many of us can be really hard on ourselves when we make mistakes. Wisdom will not come from self-criticism. Wisdom can only come when we accept who we are, with all of our flaws and all of the beautiful uniqueness we add to the world. Be gentle with yourself. Forgive yourself and collect another piece of your wisdom puzzle.
  3. Live consciously. – You won’t be able to recognize lessons learned unless you pay attention. Pay attention to physical clues—I have butterflies in my stomach; I had a hard time sleeping last night. Try to figure out why you are having a significant reaction to a situation. Pay attention to your emotions and ask yourself why you are upset or happy or fearful.
  4. Stay on the journey. – The route to wisdom is self-knowledge. And self-knowledge comes from never-ending curiosity and exploration. Read books, talk to people about ideas, join a self-development/ philosophical/ spiritual/ etc. discussion group, journal, use your creativity. Expand who you are in order to know who you are in this moment and who you strive to be.

~~~

As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world — that is the myth of the atomic age — as in being able to remake ourselves.

Mohandas K. Gandhi

~~~

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. “I’ve got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you,” he announced. “Will the laziest man please put his hand up?”

Nine hands went up.

“Why didn’t you put your hand up?” he asked the tenth man. “Too much trouble,” came the reply.

~~~

Hypochondriacs are just like fishermen, because neither have to catch anything to be happy.

Lawrence Brotherton

~~~

Jerry is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m ok but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.

“What did he say,” asked the nurse.

“OOPS”

~~~

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions–the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look or heartfelt compliment.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

~~~

A little boy had been pawing over a stationer’s stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked, “Just what is it you’re looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend, Anniversary or a congratulations to your mom and dad?”

The boy shook his head and answered, “Got any like a blank report card?”

~~~

She said, “I haven’t found Mr. Right, but I have found Mr. Cheap, Mr. Sleazy, and Mr. Wrong.”

~~~

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter’s house later that night, she seemed upset.

“What happened, Mother?” the daughter asked.

“I had to slap his face three times!”

“You mean he got fresh?”

“No,” she answered…

“I thought he was dead!”

~~~

At my age, forget all the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get

~~~

A man parks his car at the supermarket and is walking into the store. A woman who has just finished loading her groceries in her car asks, “Excuse me, do you want this cart?”

“No,” he answers. “I’m only after one thing.”

As he walks into the store, he hears the woman mutter, “Just like a man.”

~~~

Most people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly. Whether by accident or design, these are the moments when, because of a readiness within us and a collaboration with events occurring around us, we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves and the conditions under which we live and to make certain choices that will affect the rest of our lives.

Frederick F. Flack

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Advertisement

You can you know

Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success.

! action

 I don’t know about you but one of my pet peeves is being around the “no” people. You know, they are the ones who spend so much time figuring out why not to do something that nothing gets done. A friend and I were talking a few weeks ago about how frustrating it is to be with people who seldom do anything worthwhile for fear that someone might not approve.

If we try to please everyone what we do will have little effect if any at all. I am at the age where I don’t have time to outlast the action procrastinators.

Of course there is always risk when you break new ground, but at least you are on new territory, a place where success is usually found. I do appreciate folks who share concerns that should be considered but I do not appreciate people who only express their concern by vetoing actions without seriously considering alternatives.

Here is an article that I think has value, do you?

Knock the “t” Off theThe “Can’t”

by: Neil Eskelin

Recently I took a sheet of paper and divided it into two columns: “Yes People,” and “No People.” Then I thought about individuals I knew and wrote their names in the appropriate column. What a shock it was to see the length of the “No” list.

These were the people who heard someone say, “You can’t do that!” and they believed it. Now they were saying, “It can’t be done!” and their negativity was affecting the lives of others.

If your friends made such a list right now, under which heading would they write your name? Do they see you as enthusiastic, affirmative and optimistic? Or do they believe you see more problems than solutions?

It’s time to knock the “t” off the “can’t.” I like the words of author Frank Hughes: “I will say this about being an optimist; even when things don’t turn out well, you are certain they will get better.”

You are only a decision away from responding with hope instead of fear, with encouragement instead of criticism, with belief instead of despair. It’s your choice!

~~~

In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing.

Theodore Roosevelt

~~~

Infamous Quotes Of State Troopers

“So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”

“Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you yet another ticket.”

“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?”

“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

“No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

~~~

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

~~~

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, “Get me a coffee, quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded, “You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?”

“No,” replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you fool!”

The trainee shouted back, “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?”

“No.” replied the Managing Director indignantly.

“Good!” replied the trainee and put down the phone.

~~~

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

~~~

Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea.

“I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails.  He makes me terribly nervous.”

“My Billy used to do the same thing,” the older woman replied.  “But I broke him of the habit.”

“How?”

“I hid his teeth.”

~~~

Why do they report power outages on TV?

~~~

The old man had died.  A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.

Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa.”

~~~

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t.

Author Unknown

~~~

On their 25th anniversary, a husband took his wife out to dinner. Their teenage daughters said they’d have dessert waiting for them when they returned. After they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: “Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn’t do!”

“I suppose,” the husband responded, “we could vacuum.”

~~~

All generalizations are bad.

R.H. Grenier

~~~

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, “You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”

The old rancher replied, “Well, I’ll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning.”

~~~

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Don’t wait for too late

“I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.

 ! Change

After I wrote yesterday’s daily about being what we want to be I started to think about how fast time seems to fly by these days. 2014 will soon be over and unless we decide we want to do something’s different and reward ourselves with the kind of life we want to live 2015 will go whizzing by and we will be the same as we always have been when it ends.

Most of you have a lot of years ahead of you; just think how much better they will be if you commit to being the person you would like to be. When you discover you can make positive changes in your life you will find it relatively easy to make beneficial adjustments as time goes by.

Here is a piece I stumbled across that was posted by wise 16 year old kid. He did not know who wrote it but felt it was worth sharing, I’m glad he did.

 The Secret of Life

Every day goes by like the last

It seems that time flies too fast

I close my eyes and ask it to stop

I look at the clock and another minute has passed

I think to myself…

What would I do if I weren’t consumed

Consumed by the world and all that it is

The obligations attached to being successful and popular

What would I do?

Embrace those that I love…

Care for those that I don’t…

Learn how to love those I hate….

Enjoy every moment I get…

Forget about what means nothing …

Remember all that means everything…

Make a joke when I shouldn’t…

Laugh even though its not funny…

Cry when I’m happy…

Never fear, it only wastes time…

Show the devil when he’s met his match…

Cast out my demons forever…

Travel the world and see…

Stand on the highest mountain…

Be the heart of a dead country…

Make my own music…

Even though it doesn’t rhyme, make my own poem…

Sing my own songs…

Make new friends…

Accept different cultures…

Eat weird food…

Hug, kiss, and never let go…

All the things that I used to think were so important

I now realize mean nothing

All I want to do is help those who can’t help themselves

All the money in the world can’t buy my happiness

All the joys of doing what I love

All means nothing in the face of God if

All I have is nothing for him

In a matter of 60 seconds

I’ve figured out the secret of life

But now I’m falling asleep

Will I remember when I wake up?

~~~

“Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish it.”

~~~

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. “Guess what, sir?” the clerk said. “I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we’ve had so long!”

“Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!” the manager asked. “That’s the one!”

“That’s great!” the manager cried, “I thought we’d never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we’ve ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?”

“Oh,” the clerk replied, “after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me.”

~~~

Insanity is hereditary — you get it from your children.

Sam Levenson

~~~

A sign was placed at the entrance of the large machinery plant. It said:

“Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.”

~~~

Club soda, not seals.

~~~

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign… “Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.”

~~~

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

~~~

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHIATRICALLY CHALLENGED

Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me

Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and……

Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Get me

Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder —Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells…

~~~

You know the kids are growing up when your daughter begins to put on lipstick and your son starts to wipe it off.

~~~

“Would you please help me?” she asked. “I bought a nine-pound turkey. Could you tell me how long to cook it in my new microwave?”

“Just a minute,” the food editor said, as he turned to check his reference book.

“Oh, thank you,” she said. “You’ve been a big help. Good-bye!”

~~~

“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.”

Les Brown

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Are you who you want to be?

“To bear defeat with dignity, to accept criticism with poise, to receive honors with humility — these are marks of maturity and graciousness.”

William Arthur Ward

 ! gracious

Yesterday I shared with you my belief that our lives are better when we chose not to succumb to anger because someone acts badly. Stay calm and acting maturely is always a great choice. There is too much vindictive unreasonableness going on around us every day and those who rise above the fray always do better than those who sink into the quagmire.

I believe that it is important that we realize that the choice is always ours. The problem is too many of us don’t wait to make a better choice, we just quickly react without thinking. I think the greatest gift to give yourself is to learn to pause before you act and then chose to ask wisely.

Here are some thought provoking questions from an article by Frank Sonnenberg that I think can help us analyze our choices. By knowing ourselves we can decide what we want to be and then make choices accordingly.

It’s Your Choice: Values Matter

Personal values should serve as your guiding star in making good choices. Values are like a pilot’s flight plan . . . without them, you’re flying blind. Unfortunately, some people don’t take the time to define them.

Take a moment and consider the following items. Each question is designed as a continuum, so your response doesn’t have to be limited to one extreme, or another.

Remember, there’s no right or wrong answer to each question. The answer that you provide should be the right one for YOU.

Life Balance: Do you put more effort into building your career or spending time with friends and family?

Self-Satisfaction: Do you spend more time trying to please yourself or to satisfy others?

Willpower: Do you try to eliminate bad habits or simply give in?

Risk: Are you risk averse or would you gamble to win big?

Accepting Advice: Do you seek the advice of professionals (such as doctors, financial advisors, and attorneys) or go it alone?

Integrity: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to your conscience to achieve personal gain?

Commitments: Are you more apt to make serious commitments or to live a happy-go-lucky life?

Wants–Needs: Do you spend more time enjoying what you have or upgrading your belongings?

Opportunity: Are you content with your existing situation or willing to explore exciting new opportunities?

Healthy Living: Are you more inclined to follow a healthy diet or to yield to temptation?

Trust: Do you put trust and faith in other people or rely mostly upon yourself?

Work Ethic: Are you willing to pay your dues today by working hard as an investment in your future, or do you prefer to take it easy and possibly limit your opportunities?

Relationships: Do you put more effort into developing deep relationships or casual friendships?

Saving: Are you more inclined to save for a rainy day or to shop till you drop?

Personal Growth: Do you invest time in self-development, or are you comfortable where you are in life?

Purpose: Do you measure success by what you give to others or by how much you’ve personally gained?

~~~

A kind and compassionate act is often its own reward.

William John Bennett

~~~

How does Alice like being pregnant?” Bob asked his friend John.

“Oh, she’s not pregnant,” John replied, “she’s expecting.”

“What’s the difference?” Bob pressed.

“Well, John explained, “She’s expecting me to cook dinner, she’s expecting me to do the housework, she’s expecting me to rub her feet…”

~~~

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

~~~

A car salesman trying to “influence” a senator by offering him a new car for free. The senator tells him that he could never accept such a gift under such circumstances. “That would be unethical, dishonest and against the law!” he replies indignantly.

The salesman thinks for a moment, and suggests he “sell” the senator a car …for $20.

The senator nods approvingly, “Great, I’ll take 2.”

~~~

A guy has to get fresh once in a while so the girl doesn’t lose her confidence.

~~~

As Barb was getting to know David and his family, she was very impressed by how much his parents loved each other. “They’re so thoughtful,” Barb said. “Why, your dad even brings your mom a cup of hot coffee in bed every morning.”

After a time, Barb and David were engaged, and then married. On the way from the wedding to the reception, Barb again remarked on David’s loving parents, and even the coffee in bed. “Tell me,” she said, “does it run in the family?”

“It sure does,” replied David. “And I take after my mom.”

~~~

“My doctor told me he’d have me on my feet in two weeks. He was right. I got his bill; I had to sell my car.”

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

WISE ADVICE FROM CHILDREN

“Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals.” – Donna Maria G, age 9

“Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you.” – Rob P, age 8

“If life gives you nothing but lemons, make up a better shopping list for it.” – Steven B, age 8

“Moses came down with the Ten Amendments, which were God’s Bill of Wrongs.” – Susie F., age 7

“Doctors automatically know what’s wrong with you. They have a sick sense.” – Beau M., age 10

“My dog had worms. I think he was going fishing.” – Emma B., age 4

~~~

“My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It’s titled: ‘Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.'”

~~~

She told me why it’s good to be a woman……….

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

Taxis stop for us.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We’ll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren’t listening anyway.

~~~

“Seek not good from without: seek it within yourselves, or you will never find it.”

Epictetu

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Don’t be like them

It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.

Hans Selye

! Be-Positive

I was with someone the other day who was distressed because a longtime friend and business colleague was not responding to a request to talk. You see my friend had found the need to leave her job because it was a poor fit for her and wanted to make her departure as seamless as possible for her friend the organizations Chief Executive Officer.

Her friend had not responded to her request to have a discussion about how much she appreciated the opportunity that she had and that she had high regard for the organization. The difficult part for my friend was what appeared to be a purposeful rejection of her effort to make a graceful exit from the job. In other words in my view the CEO was acting badly. I suggested to my friend that a letter or e-mail offering her best wishes for the future as well as any help she could provide if warranted would be worth doing.

I felt this was one of those situations in life where we can behave as adults and do the right thing in spite of the bad behavior of someone else. There is a lot to be said for rising above the challenges of an unpleasant situation and acting maturely. It does no good to react in kind to bad behavior for when we do we are no better than the person who triggered our anger.

Here is a piece written by Ralph Marston years ago that I feel is worth storing away for a time when we are tempted slip into a place we don’t want to be.

 Respond to life

Respond with love to those who might otherwise annoy you, and suddenly the annoyance is gone. You’ll both be better off.

Respond with patience to situations that might otherwise make you frustrated, and suddenly the frustration is gone. In its place will be energy for positive achievement.

Respond with understanding to things that might otherwise anger you, and the anger will dissolve. Instead of destructive rage, you’ll see creative possibilities.

Respond with determination to events that might otherwise cause you dismay. You’ll find yourself powerfully motivated to move positively forward.

Respond with enthusiasm to tasks you might otherwise find tedious. You’ll find a way to create new and lasting value.

Respond to life as if each moment is a grand experience, filled with positive and unique possibilities. And that’s just how it will be.

~~~

The tragedy of life is in what dies inside a man while he lives – the death of genuine feeling, the death of inspired response, the awareness that makes it possible to feel the pain or the glory of other men in yourself.

Norman Cousins

~~~

“The School Answering Machine”

“Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2

To complain about what we do – Press 3

To swear at staff members  Press 4

To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5

If you want us to raise your child – Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7

To request another teacher for the third time this year – Press 8!

To complain about bus transportation – Press 9

To complain about school lunches – Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable/responsible for his/ her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it’s not the teachers fault for your children’s lack of effort, hang up.

~~~

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

~~~

A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five year old son was sitting on the back of an alligator. Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping.

As the brave ranger moved in he tried to console the mother by saying, “I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves, but be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator.”

To which the lady replies “Good Heavens, no. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son’s picture on his back.”

~~~

Attendant: Do you wish to consult with Wing Tong Fong, the great Chinese mystic?

Lady: Yes, tell him his mother, Sadie Cohen is here from Brooklyn.

~~~

The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently launched carrier. The entire crew stood at attention.

“I suppose,” said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier’s captain, “you know the name of every man on the ship.”

“I think I do,” was the captain’s unexpected reply.

“Aha,” smiled the Secretary. “What’s the name of the third man from the left there in the rear rank?”

“William Jones,” said the captain.

The Secretary addressed the seaman himself.

“What’s your name, lad?” he asked.

“William Jones, sir,” replied Seaman Jonathan Abernathy.

~~~

My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria. He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don’t think it’s working.

Fred Marcum

~~~

What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Zen Pizza Parlor?

“Make me one with everything.”

When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said “Don’t I get change?”

The proprietor said, “Change must come from within.”

~~~

So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference.

Anurag Prakash Ray

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

You can make 2015 a great year

We all need to decide whether to “play it safe” in life and worry about the downside, or instead take a chance, by being who we really are and living the life our heart desires. Which choice are you making?

Charlie Badenhop

 ! choice 2

One thing we all have in common is that a new year will soon be upon us. It can become the beginning of a more enjoyable life for those willing to invest in themselves by making some life changes.

Far too many of us get caught up in a race for recognition, wealth or status that leaves us little time for ourselves. In truth the rat race that so many find themselves running seldom provides the hoped for rewards. If you find yourself with little time for enjoyment and comradery with friends you might consider loosening up by giving yourself the gift of a more relaxed 2015.

I am at an age I where I regret things I missed because I was too busy and appreciate the moments when I took time to spend with others. In the next couple of weeks you can formulate a set of New Year’s resolutions that can get you started on the road to more happiness.

I got the following from Angel Chernoff that may help you get to where you would like to be.

 Strategies for Being Positively Happy

Nurture your inner child. – You need to put your own fulfillment and needs at the top of your priority list.  There’s an inner child within you who needs your love and patience.  If you’re always telling her to quiet down, to sit still and stop that bouncing… if you’re always reminding her that her thoughts aren’t real, just pretend, and that good girls do what they’re told… how will she ever be able to imagine a fulfilling life for herself as she grows, or be able to jump for joy when she finds it?

Let loose and be a little silly. – Sometimes a little silliness is all you need to get a better perspective of life’s challenges.  Silliness is the carefree, sometimes crazy, and often misunderstood stepsister of happiness.  May you be a friend to both, and smile your way through life’s twists and turns.

Mind your own business. – Those who accept you are your friends.  Those who don’t are your teachers.  If someone calls you something and it’s true, it’s not a problem because it’s true.  If someone calls you something and it’s not true, it’s not a problem because it’s not true.  What you call yourself, and who you decide to become, is your business.

Stop the comparisons. – The more you judge and compare yourself to your fantasies of how you should be, could be, or would be, the worse and worse you will get at everything.  Such negative comparisons gradually de-motivate you, keeping your growth potential completely caged by the enormous resistance from your own thinking.  On the flip-side, the more you love and accept yourself exactly the way you are, the better and better you will get at everything.

Focus on making the best of the present. – You can’t be happy if you’re carrying the burden of the yesterday on your shoulders.  Whatever it may be, the past is history and there’s nothing you can do to change it.  So breathe in the future and breathe out the past.  Focus on making the best of the present, and the past will take care of itself.

Count your blessings one by one. – To be happy doesn’t mean you don’t desire more, it means you’re thankful for what you have and patient for what’s yet to come.  Your life is filled with blessings and achievements, take the time to accept and appreciate these gifts.

Help others find happiness. – Happiness doesn’t come through selfishness, but through selflessness.  Greet people with a smile.  Encourage them.  Compliment them.  Notice their progress, cheer them on, and make them smile.  The more happiness you help them find, the more happiness you will find.

Think about how far you’ve come. – The precursor of every positive outcome is a positive thought.  So in the heat of the moment when you feel like quitting, think about how far you have come and why you started in the first place.  Trust this light of gratitude to lead you through all the long, winding and misty roads of life.

Invest your time in the things you love. – The most important decision you will ever make is what you do with the time that is given to you.  Trust me, before you know it you’ll be asking, “How did it get so late so soon?”  So put your time to good use, and let yourself be drawn to the strange pull of what you love; it will not lead you astray.  Above all, live your life so that when you’re old, you never have to let the person you became fanaticize about the person you were capable of being.

~~~

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”

Denis Waitley

~~~

My sister-in-law was very busy one day working in her house.  She had just gotten to the basement after quite a few trips up and down when she heard the telephone ring upstairs.  Tiredly, she ran back up the stairs only to hear a solicitor on the other end.

“Hello”

“Yes.”

“We are calling people in your area and would like to know if you would help us by participating in a brief survey.”

Sorry I don’t wear them.

~~~

If you can still do at 60 what you did at 20, it means you weren’t doing much at 20.

~~~

Mommy, What Is the Definition of…

** Abusive? What’s the matter, stupid, don’t you know the answer?

** Paranoid? You probably think I don’t know the answer, do you?

** Bigotry? I’m not going to tell someone like you.

** Over-Sensitive? How could you ask me a question like that?

** Depressed? You would have to ask me that?

** Nonchalant? It’s not important.

** Evasive? Go do your homework.

** Insomnia? I stayed awake all last night thinking of the answer.

~~~

Office rule: Never agree with your boss until he says something.

~~~

** Signs You Have a Cheap HMO Plan **

  1. Directions to the doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.”
  2. When you enter the office, you see a dispenser with the sign “PLEASE TAKE A NUMBER.”
  3. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
  4. The only psychiatrist in the plan is nicknamed “Joe the bartender.”
  5. The only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is, “An apple a day.”
  6. Your “primary care physician” is wearing pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
  7. “Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges” is not a misprint.
  8. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
  9. Your pills come in different colors with “M” on them.
  10. Prescription for anti-depressant medication: A coupon for a double espresso at Starbucks.

~~~

A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.

~~~

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”

“Why complain?” said the counselor, “You’re still getting the same service.”

~~~

“You always do what you want to do. This is true with every act. You may say that you had to do something, or that you were forced to, but actually, whatever you do, you do by choice. Only you have the power to choose for yourself.”

Clement Stone

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Goodwill is good

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

Calvin Coolidge

 ! Helping-Hand (1)

I was reinvigorated last Friday and Saturday by being able to spend time with my fellow volunteers as we registered call-in Salvation Army donations in response to a two day radio marathon. As has happened before the goodwill demonstrated by the folks who worked the phones and the warmth of the donors combined the make both days special for me.

It was wonderful to find so many people willing to provide funds to feed, clothe and often house those who seldom find kindness in their world. Our recent turmoil that has crated so much strife has reinforced my belief that the hope for the future rests not with our political leadership or some charismatic leader but rather by the hands offered by people like you and me to those less fortunate than ourselves.

I think the following describes how we all can lay the foundation for a better future.

 The universe speaks in many languages, but only one voice.

The language is not Narn or Human or Centauri or Gaeyem or Minbari. It speaks in the language of hope. It speaks in the language of trust. It speaks in the language of strength and the language of compassion. It is the language of the heart and the language of the soul.

And always it is the same voice. It is the voice of our ancestors speaking through us. And the voice of our inheritors waiting to be born. It is the small still voice that says we are One. No matter the blood. No matter the skin. No matter the world. No matter the star. We are One. No matter the pain. No matter the darkness. No matter the loss. No matter the fear. We are One.

Here, gathered together in common cause, we agree to recognize this singular truth and this singular rule that we must be kind to one another because each voice enriches us and ennobles us. And each voice lost diminishes us. We are the voice of the universe. The soul of creation. The fire that will light the way to a better future.

We are One. We are One. We are One!

G’Kar’s

~~~

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy …Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only Light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only Love can do that.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

~~~

The Computer Widow

To My Darling Husband,

I’m sending you this letter in a bogus software company envelope so you’ll be sure to read it.  Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what’s been going on since your computer entered our lives two years ago.

The children are doing well.  Tommy is 7 now and is a bright, Handsome boy.  He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project.  All the figures were good but yours was excellent!

The chair and back of your head are very realistic.  You would be proud of him.  Little Jennifer turned 3 in September.  She looks a lot like you did at that age.  She is an attractive child and quite smart.  She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday.  What a grand day for Jen, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out.

I discovered that the household chores are much easier since I realized that you didn’t mind being vacuumed and that the feather duster made you sneeze. The house is in good shape.  I had the living room painted last spring. I’m not sure if you noticed it.  I asked the painters to cut air holes in the drop cloths so you wouldn’t be disturbed.

Well dear, I must be going.  The family is leaving on a ski trip and there is much packing to do.  I’ve hired a house-keeper to take care of things while we are away.  She’ll keep things in order, fill your coffee cup and bring your meals to the computer room just the way you like it.

I hope you and the computer have a lovely time while we are gone. Tommy, Jen and I think of you often.  Try to remember us while your disks are booting.

Love, Mary

~~~

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

~~~

An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade.

“I can’t stop!” she shrilled. “What should I do?”

“Brace yourself,” advised her husband, “and try to hit something cheap.”

~~~

A practical nurse is one who falls in love with a wealthy patient.

~~~

Two gals were driving through Louisiana.  As they were approaching the town of Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one asked the manager, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?  Would you please pronounce where we are,…very slowly?”

The manager leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing.”

~~~

The only thing wrong with a perfect drive to work is, that you end up at work.

~~~

The Jackson police were searching for a man they suspected of a string of burglaries.  They had six photographs of the man, all taken in different locations and from different angles.  They sent fax copies of these pictures to police departments all over the country.

Several days later, Jackson received a fax report from the police chief in a small town in Nebraska.  The memo read, “We immediately went to work on those six pictures you sent. We’ve arrested five of the suspects, and we have the sixth under observation right now.”

~~~

There are only two things that your child is absolutely willing to share: Communicable Diseases and their mother’s age.

~~~

An act of goodwill …its beauty inspires, its fragrance uplifts and its seeds are carried far and wide to propagate further acts of goodwill. The seeds are carried within our hearts. The fragrance perfumed is released with a loving act.

Denise St. Denis

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Thanks for letting me help

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”

Charles Dickens

 ! giving-to-others

For the next two days I will be at one of Indiana’s leading radio stations talking to people who call in to make donations to the Salvation Army. This will be the 20th year that WIBC has teamed up with the Salvation Army providing a continuous on-the-air opportunity for listeners to help provide shelter, clothing, food and to folks who have little.

I have a friend who not only has helped the Salvation Army in their efforts but also partnered with her young daughter to make Christmas a little brighter for a single mom and her daughter a couple of years ago. What moved me was learning that the top of the mothers Christmas want list was a case of toilet tissues. Thankfully few of us will ever experience that level of poverty but if we do I hope that someone like my friend Annie will care enough to help us survive.

I have helped with handling the WIBC call in donations for a number of years. I find it to be a wonderful experience as I get to chat with people from all walks of life who care enough for their fellow man that they share what they have.

I am sure that the infusion of goodwill that I will get this weekend will provide me the warmth that will last through the holiday season as it has so often in the past. I have frequently told others that I will always be grateful to the Salvation Army for allowing me to help, it is therapeutic. Here is an article from Giving Well that explains some of the benefits I get from what I do.

Give for mental wellbeing

Most people would agree that giving to others is a good idea. But it can also improve your mental wellbeing. Small acts of kindness towards other people, or larger ones – such as volunteering in your local community – can give you a sense of purpose and make you feel happier and more satisfied about life.

Sometimes, we think of wellbeing in terms of what we have: our income, our home or car, or our job. But evidence shows that what we do and the way we think have the biggest impact on mental wellbeing. Positive mental wellbeing means feeling good – about yourself and the world around you – and being able to get on with life in the way you want.

Helping and supporting other people, and working with others towards a shared goal, is good for our mental wellbeing. Giving to others is one of the five evidence-based steps we can all take to improve our mental wellbeing.

How giving can help your mental wellbeing

Several studies suggest that acts of giving and kindness – small and large – are associated with positive mental wellbeing. For example, a 2004 study in 373 older adults found that some aspects of wellbeing were higher in those who did volunteering projects, compared with those who did not.

Brain science has shown that giving to others and co-operating with them can stimulate the reward areas in the brain, helping to create positive feelings. Helping and working with others can also give us a sense of purpose and feelings of self-worth.

~~~

Sometimes a small thing you do can mean everything in another person’s life.

~~~

As you know I have many friends in the medical profession as well as a background in health planning. In spite of this I think it is important that we laymen stay abreast of health care today. In that vein I will periodically provide some medical education to our readers. Today we learn a few medical terms.

Anally — occurring yearly

Artery — study of paintings

Bacteria — back door of cafeteria

Barium — what doctors do when treatment fails

Bowel — letter like A.E.I.O.U

Caesarian section — district in Rome

Cat scan — searching for kitty

Cauterize — Made eye contact with her

Colic — sheep dog

Coma — a punctuation mark

Congenital — friendly

D&C — where Washington is

~~~

To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart.

~~~

NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space. As the moment came closer NASA’s mission control center announced,  “This is mission control to Monkey One. Initiate!” At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle’s engines ignited and the shuttle took off.

Two hours later NASA’s mission control center announced, “This is mission control to Monkey Two. Initiate!” At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle separated from the empty fuel tanks.

Another two hours later mission control announced, “This is mission control to the astronaut…” At this the astronaut responded “I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don’t touch anything.”

~~~

“I hate flowers — I paint them because they’re cheaper than models and they don’t move.”

Georgia O’Keefe

~~~

A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug’s face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary.

“And what day will that be?” the clerk asked.

Glumly he replied, “Yesterday”.

~~~

Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you’d like to lose a half pound right now, press “1” 18,000 times.

~~~

It was late Saturday night and the preacher hadn’t been able to think of a sermon for the next morning. About 9:00 p.m. he finally said to his wife, “Dear, I think I have come up with the perfect sermon! I’m going to give a sermon about horseback riding!”

She said, “Don’t be silly! You can’t give a sermon about horseback riding!”

He replied, “Well, it’s going to have to do because I’ve preached on just about every other subject I can think of.”

The next morning as they were driving to church, she said, “You know, if you’re going to give that silly sermon on horseback riding, I’m just going to sit in the car during the service because I’ll be too embarrassed for you.”

“OK, then, suit yourself!” he replied. So, she stayed in the car.

Sitting in front of the church before the service, the preacher had a sudden inspiration and gave a hell-fire and brimstone sermon on SEX, and just had the congregation in awe.

As the congregation filed out of the church, some of the members saw the wife sitting in the car and approached her window. “Wow! You just missed the best sermon your husband has ever given!”

She replied, “Ah, what does he know about it? He’s only tried it twice in his entire life. Once on a church picnic while we were dating, and once at my father’s house after we were married. And, despite holding on for dear life, he fell off both times!”

~~~

What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.

Nelson Mandela

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Ray’s away today

What you are will show in what you do.

Thomas A. Edison

 ! Edison1

I have some obligations today that are requiring my attention. So we will visit the past to see what the Daily said twelve years ago.

 Ray’s Daily

December 4, 2002

I went to the Docs today and had good news and bad news. The good news is that my infectious disease Doc says I am infection free, other than my current severe cold. The bad news is that my blood Doc has determined that I have a severe Iron deficiency which is the result of my heart infection and that I must start 6 months of intravenous Iron treatments at the hospital starting tomorrow. They seem to be certain that when completed I will have regained my youth.

~~~

Thomas Edison invented the phonograph on this day in 1877. My life would be a lot easier if he would have invented the CD. I have been converting my large record collection and tapes to CD for about a year and I am still only half way done. I got rid of my 8 tracks but still have a large collection of beta videos to be converted to VHS so I can convert them to DVD’s some day. I am not sure what will become obsolete first the things I buy or me.

~~~

Everyone is as God made him, and often a great deal worse.

Miguel De Cervantes

~~~

The kids said:

Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. — Rocky, Age 9

Sleep in your clothes so you’ll be dressed in the morning. —Stephanie, Age 8

Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. — Rosemary, Age 7

Don’t flush the john when you dad’s in the shower. —Lamar, Age 10

~~~

Phonesia (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

~~~

SIGNS YOU’VE GONE OVERBOARD WITH HOME IMPROVEMENTS :

You’ve built a drive-thru car wash in the second slot of your 2-car garage.

You’ll use any excuse to add a new room onto the house, including needing more space for the newest addition to the family — your daughter’s goldfish Buffy.

Even Martha Stewart has deemed your multi-level, hydraulically-operated kitchen is “a bit overdone.”

You’ve converted the standard stall shower into a “bathing waterfall,” complete with tropical plants.

Your rear-projection, surround-sound TV room can comfortably seat 43, and you’re trying to make arrangements with Universal for first run films.

Your dog has a duplex doghouse out back, even though he sleeps in bed with you every night.

The local building department says you can’t add a fourth floor to a house that was originally zoned as a single level dwelling.

You bought and demolished your next door neighbors house to make room for an Olympic size swimming pool.

You’ve installed a small freight elevator going to your attic.

You’ve built an FAA-approved helipad on your roof.

~~~

Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen.

~~~

He said, my job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18 holes. Using a machete to clear thick brush in an area I was mapping, I came upon a golf club that an irate player must have tossed away. It was in good condition, so I picked it up and continued on.When I broke out of the brush onto a putting green, two golfers stared at me in awe. I had a machete in one hand, a golf club in the other, and behind me was a clear-cut swath over 100 yards long.

“There,” said one of the golfers, “is a guy who hates to lose his ball!”

~~~

A political pollster knocked on the door and a sour-faced lady answered.

“What party does your husband belong to?” he asked.  The lady responded curtly, “I sir, am the party he belongs to.”

~~~

There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.

French Proverb

~~~

The family was gathered at dinner.  The oldest boy announced he was going to marry the girl across the street. “But her family didn’t leave her a penny,” objected his father.

“And she hasn’t saved a cent,” added mother.

“She doesn’t know a thing about football,” said junior.

“I’ve never seen a girl with such funny hair,” said sister.

“All she does is read novels,” said uncle.

“And such poor taste in the choice of her clothes,” said aunt.

“But she isn’t sparing of the powder and the paint,” said grandma.

“True,” said the boy.  “But she has one supreme advantage over all of us.”

“What’s that?  Everyone wanted to know.

“She has no family.

~~~

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

~~~

“Rabbi,” the man said, “Please explain the Talmud to me.”

“Very well,” he said.  “First, I will ask you a question.  If two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?”

“The dirty one,” answers the man.

“No.  They look at each other and the dirty man thinks he is clean and the clean man thinks he is dirty, therefore, the clean man washes himself.  Now, another question.  If two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?”

The man smiles and says, “You just told me, Rabbi.  The man who is clean washes himself because he thinks he is dirty.”

“No,” says the Rabbi.  “If they each look at themselves, the clean man knows he doesn’t have to wash himself, so the dirty man washes himself.  Now, one more question. If two men climb up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?”

“I don’t know, Rabbi.  Depending on your point of view, it could be either one.”

Again the Rabbi says, “No.  If two men climb up a chimney, how could one man remain clean?  They both are dirty, and they both wash themselves.”

The confused man said, “Rabbi, you asked me the same question three times and you gave me three different answers.  Is this some kind of a joke?”

“This is not a joke, my son.  This is Talmud.”

~~~

The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.

~~~

Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Little Johnny answered. “I’d like to talk to your mother or father,” she said. “Sorry, but they ain’t here.” “Little Johnny!” she said, “what is it with your grammar?”

“Beats me,” he replied, “but dad sure was mad that they had t’go bail her out again!”

~~~

“Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.”

Franklin P. Jones

~~~

The only freedom which deserves the name is that of pursuing our own good, in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it.

John Stuart Mill

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Welcome Winter

“Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.”

Edith Sitwell

! Camus-summer-winter

I live in the US Midwest, above the equator, where winter is beginning to take over our days. While the other three seasons have much to offer winter has its own unique gift to those of us who live in the northern climes. Most of us are driven like the bears to spaces where there is comforting warmth and often time for conversations with friends and family.

We do bundle up with sweaters, heavy jackets and the like which in my case brings back memories of younger days. While many long for the warmth of summer others like me find a special enjoyment in the time spent insulated from the harsh winds that so often swirl around outside. It is hard not to appreciate having a comfortable place to rest while winter does its blustery best.

For many of us winter rewards us with time to read, time to renew old friendships and time to reflect on our good fortune. It is also a time to do what we can for those who do not have what we have, those who find little warmth in their lives. As an example this Friday and Saturday I will be manning a phone during the early morning hours of the WIBC/Salvation Army Radiothon which is held annually in Indianapolis. We will raise hundreds of thousands of dollars to help provide food, clothing and shelter for the less fortunate. Just talking to the folks who call in provides me the opportunity to appreciate the warm hearts of those who care for others.

Here are some suggestions for those of you who live threw winter cold. I got them from the Aurora Mental Health Center.

Enjoy the Winter Months

Get some sun every day.

Suggestions:  Get outdoors!  Walk to a restaurant or park further away while running errands; take a 15 minute walk or break outside during the day, and sit near a window in the sunlight.

Brighten up your home.

Suggestions:  Open the curtains and blinds; paint the walls a lighter color; use brighter bulbs or increase the lamps in a room; use brighter colors in decorating or install a skylight or window in a dark room, or trim tree branches that block the sun.

Eat a healthy diet —not just what you crave.

Suggestions:  Limit your caffeine and sugar intake; eat more protein (nuts, eggs, peanut butter, fish, lean meats, milk, cheese); eat four cups of dark green vegetables (spinach, broccoli, peas); use Canola oil instead of vegetable oil; and eat complex carbohydrates (whole wheat pastas, breads, and crackers, cereals, oatmeal).

Get moving!

Suggestions:  Take a walk outside; jog up and down the stairs at your home; purchase a fitness video to do at home; take the dog for a longer walk; join a fitness club; go skiing, snowboarding, ice skating, or snowshoeing.

Socialize.

Suggestions:  Meet a friend you haven’t seen in a while and go out for breakfast; invite a few friends over to play cards or a board game; go to a high school play or basketball game; or meet after work to share an appetizer.

~~~

“My old grandmother always used to say, Summer friends will melt away like summer snows, but winter friends are friends forever.”

George R.R. Martin

~~~

Excerpts from some kids’ letters to God:

Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma

Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan

Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. Joyce

Dear God, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)

~~~

It’s a small world, once you’ve made the long trip to the airport.

~~~

While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her.

Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, “Was it worth the trouble you’re in?”

~~~

The three major food groups are canned, frozen and takeout.

~~~

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a police officer?”

“Yes,” I answered, and continued writing the report.

“My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?”

“Yes, that’s right,” I told her.

“Well, then,” she said as she extended her foot toward me, “would you please tie my shoe?”

~~~

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

~~~

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So…  he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?”

The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not.”

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole.

It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St.  Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?”

The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”

~~~

“In the winter she curls up around a good book and dreams away the cold.”

Ben Aaronovitch

~~~

Stay well, do good work, and have fun.

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

This daily is sent only to special people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at https://raykiwsp.wordpress.com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Tag Cloud